tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-275811152011-11-27T19:09:57.114-05:00Barnicke Belleghem helps clients improve personal and professional relationships involving: • bullying • communication breakdown • conflict • controlling behavior • home/work balance • romance on the job • setting boundaries • stress and more...Marilyn Barnicke Belleghem M.ED.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01818201894831060793noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27581115.post-17461508054613869342011-07-23T16:41:00.000-04:002011-07-23T16:41:11.528-04:002011-07-23T16:41:11.528-04:00Come follow me in my new location.<br /> <br /> <br /> Contact Marilyn Barnicke Belleghem for help with your personal and professional relationships. marilyn.mbcinc.ca<div class="blogger-post-footer">Marilyn Barnicke Belleghem M.Ed. www.mbcinc.ca<img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/27581115-1746150805461386934?l=consultingtofamiliesinbusiness.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div> <p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/fGM3PQPwBVPgmZ_uxmJnvoCDX-s/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/fGM3PQPwBVPgmZ_uxmJnvoCDX-s/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/fGM3PQPwBVPgmZ_uxmJnvoCDX-s/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/fGM3PQPwBVPgmZ_uxmJnvoCDX-s/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p>Marilyn Barnicke Belleghem M.ED.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01818201894831060793noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27581115.post-68250026187672714962010-10-08T09:37:00.005-04:002010-10-29T11:25:04.222-04:002010-10-29T11:25:04.222-04:00<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/w3UtS6WZpL0?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US&amp;rel=0&amp;color1=0x234900&amp;color2=0x4e9e00"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/w3UtS6WZpL0?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US&amp;rel=0&amp;color1=0x234900&amp;color2=0x4e9e00" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />Contact Marilyn Barnicke Belleghem for help with your personal and professional relationships. marilyn@mbcinc.ca<div class="blogger-post-footer">Marilyn Barnicke Belleghem M.Ed. www.mbcinc.ca<img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/27581115-6825002618767271496?l=consultingtofamiliesinbusiness.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div> <p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/f3xWnrNXp2_Wdt09HChHn3Ei3bk/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/f3xWnrNXp2_Wdt09HChHn3Ei3bk/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/f3xWnrNXp2_Wdt09HChHn3Ei3bk/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/f3xWnrNXp2_Wdt09HChHn3Ei3bk/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p>Marilyn Barnicke Belleghem M.ED.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01818201894831060793noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27581115.post-59218278478179165782008-05-21T09:47:00.006-04:002009-06-26T07:05:20.847-04:002009-06-26T07:05:20.847-04:00I am often asked by my clients what to do about bullying bosses, people who set themselves up as boss of the lunchroom or boardroom and supervisors who threaten and coerce to get their way. This is especially challenging when their way is self serving and against company policy.<br /><br />I recommend:<br /><ol><li>Asking questions to explore what the bully expects? This can stop the immediate pressure as they explain their points. Each point can then be questioned with the purpose being to open communication and get the bully to declare their intentions. It is important not to engage in discussion at this point or to defend. Asking questions shows you are not accepting being bullied at that moment. </li><li>When the bully makes a statement about what they expect and the questioning has clarified their issue as specifically as possible ask where they got that expectation. You can also ask if they have read company policy on this if it applies. </li><li>Bullies usually use demanding tones and aggressive body stances. Ask them if they could change their tone of voice. Often this is something they have difficulty doing or even accepting that their tone is aggressive. They are likely to say something like, "I always talk like this." You then have the chance to ask, "Are you aware how angry you sound?" </li><li>Do not look the bully in the eye. look just above their eyes or at the bridge of their nose. This helps you avoid the emotional reaction to their stare yet they think you are looking at them. </li><li>Keep your voice calm and in control. This shows you are not accepting their challenge. Bullies want to control you. So demonstrate you are maintaining self control.</li></ol><p>Bullies set up power struggles that they expect to win. Learning conflict resolution skills involves words, actions and attitudes. </p>I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas.<br /><br />More about <a href="http://www.mbcinc.ca ">Marilyn</a><br /><br /><!-- AddThis Button BEGIN --><br /><div><a expr:name='data:post.title' expr:id='data:post.url' onmouseover='return addthis_open(this, "", this.id, this.name);' onmouseout='addthis_close()' onclick='return addthis_sendto()'><img src="http://s7.addthis.com/static/btn/lg-share-en.gif" width="125" height="16" alt="Bookmark and Share" style="border:0"/></a><br /><script type="text/javascript" src="http://s7.addthis.com/js/250/addthis_widget.js?pub=marilynbb"></script></div><br /><!-- AddThis Button END --><div class="blogger-post-footer">Marilyn Barnicke Belleghem M.Ed. www.mbcinc.ca<img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/27581115-5921827847817916578?l=consultingtofamiliesinbusiness.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div> <p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/q5TeMqhB_82Uw2g9e6z1j1Vu7fs/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/q5TeMqhB_82Uw2g9e6z1j1Vu7fs/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/q5TeMqhB_82Uw2g9e6z1j1Vu7fs/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/q5TeMqhB_82Uw2g9e6z1j1Vu7fs/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p>Marilyn Barnicke Belleghem M.ED.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01818201894831060793noreply@blogger.com1