Moments with MarLo

God Walks With You

2013-11-07T06:50:00.002-06:00

I was reading the story of Joshua. You remember him I hope. God used him to bring the Israelites to the Promised Land after Moses was taken from them. I picked up the story near the end of Joshua’s life where he was retelling the Israelites about all that God had done for them, reminding them God has fought for them and had brought about every promise leaving nothing undone (Joshua 23:14).

Then Joshua admonishes them to “fear God and worship Him in total commitment” (Joshua 24:14 MSG). He tells the Israelites to choose who they will serve, reminding them that just as God has been for them, He will be against them if they break their covenant of commitment to God. Every one of them committed that day to worship only God.

Flip a couple of chapters ahead and you find Judges recounting the same story of the covenant Joshua had set up with the Israelites just before he died. What we see is that the generation that made the covenant kept their commitment but the next generation broke the covenant by choosing to follow after other gods in the land. Then Judges 2:15 (MSG) says, "Every time they walked out the door God was with them—but for evil, just as God had said, just as he had sworn he would do."

Do you realize that every time you walk out the door God is with you? Everywhere you go He is with you.

God has not left you. He is always with you. Let that sink in for a moment. Now ask yourself, have you left God?

This is the beauty of your relationship with a God who loves you. No matter where you go He is with you but He wants you to be with Him.

Perhaps today you needed to hear what I heard. That no matter what is going on in your life, no matter how much you may have messed up, no matter how long it has been since you last prayed or sought after God, He has remained faithful to you and has not left you. However, if you want Him to be for you, you need to be totally committed to Him.

Are you?

Take a moment right now to reconnect with God or to thank Him for always being with you, for His
faithfulness and for His immense love for you. Now walk out your door knowing He walks with you.

Forget not all His benefits

2013-07-18T12:20:00.000-05:00

Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits—
who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s (Psalm 103:2-5 NIV)

I’m in the process of coming off some medication that was intended to rid me of migraines yet did not produce the results intended. I’m finding I’m going to miss one of the medicines side-effects—the way my taste buds delight in fruits and vegetables. Honestly, the way the medicine caused me to take pleasure in these little delectables makes some in my presence feel, well . . . a bit uncomfortable. Yes, I admit, I sometimes, uncontrollably, moan in expressive response to the explosion of fruit or vegetables entering my mouth as if I had never tasted a blueberry so deliriously delightful or known a carrot to be so immensely tasteful. If you only knew how good you'd be signing up. Just sayin.

I may have been eating more vegetables, a benefit to being on the medicine, yet, there were many other drawbacks that have not been good for me. My hands and feet go numb quite often. I lost a good portion of my cognitive ability, slowing down my speech, making it difficult for me to come up with every day words even if I just used them, and making work and college even more difficult. My brain is foggy most of the time and I am tired often which makes it difficult to want to do much when I want to be more active.

As I decrease the medicine and the fog lifts from my brain I am more aware of how glad I am to be leaving the medicine behind. Today I sat down to enjoy a salad and bereave how in a few more days, without the medicine, the fruits and vegetables will not taste near as good. I wondered how I could learn to enjoy, to remember, the tastes. I wanted to have the benefit of the taste without the medicine.

“Forget not all His benefits” penetrated my thoughts.

“Yes Lord,” my heart cried out. “I need to remind myself of all your benefits.” Daily. Hourly even.

He forgives my sins. He heals my diseases. He redeems my life from the pit and crowns me with love and compassion. He satisfies my desires with good things.

He does the same for you.

What benefit do you need today? Lift it up to Him and be reminded of all His benefits.

I’m lifting up my needs with yours with a thankful heart and taste buds ready to be satisfied in Him. Praying you’ll join me.

Bitter . . . Sweet

2012-10-19T07:13:00.001-05:00

The word bittersweet has bounced around in my mind all this week. It seems to sum up best the emotions I'm feeling today. In a way, it sums up much of what has transpired in my life in the past three years.

Two months ago my husband, Michael was in his second motorcycle accident within a one month period while living 1,000 miles from me (bitter) attending his dream school of becoming a Harley Davidson motorcycle mechanic (sweet). He's been home recovering (sweet) and now it's time for him to return to school (bitter).

And so the ping-ponging of emotions go as they run their course within me.

I have held on the past two months delighting in having Michael present once again in our home. I have watched him gain strength and regain his mental cohesiveness following the accident that left him with several broken ribs, a broken and surgically repaired ankle, and a head injury. Though not fully recovered he is in a good place to return to school and complete the dream.

I'm not ready though.

I know it's good for him to return. I know he has graciously and miraculously been given a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to follow his heart. I get that without the separation we cannot move to the next thing God has planned for him and us. While my head agrees, my heart is not yet willing to let go.

So I find myself staring ahead at our last day together, with a mix of sadness for his leaving yet again and joy for the miracle of recovery enabling him to go. And I take comfort in these words.

“In the same way I was with Moses, I’ll be with you. I won’t give up on you; I won’t leave you. Strength! Courage! . . . Don’t be timid; don’t get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take.” Joshua 1:7-9 (MSG)

These words provide what my emotions need when they can't quite line up with my head. It doesn't mean I won't break down in moments when I'm lonely or wish life to be just a little easier. Nor will I likely be able to pass the next year without worrying about Michael. Yet I cling to the truth that God is with us both, every step we take. And I find my soul once again stirring with strength and courage.

Little Things Really Do Matter To God

2012-07-23T12:47:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I returned home from an amazing weekend spent at She Speaks, a conference for writers, speakers, and women’s ministry leaders. It was my fourth year attending and I was greatly looking forward to the weekend. I was excited to be spending it with my very good friend, Melissa. I was also looking forward to meeting friends I only get to see once a year, to learning from the amazing P31 speakers and leaders, and to serving where I could.

The weekend did not disappoint me!

At the airport I was contemplative as I soaked in the information and His truth that I had received at the event. I was beginning to miss the friends I was leaving behind. I was looking forward to being home with my daughter. I was squeezing in the last bit of fun with Melissa. My heart and mind were very full from the weekend when I boarded the plane.

About the time the plane was beginning its decent I was facing a very real need for a ladies room. It was too late to use the airplane facilities (fine with me, I hate navigating them anyway) but the urgency was pressing. I mentioned my predicament to Melissa. As soon as the seat belt sign dinged allowing us to stand, Melissa made way for me to step into the aisle. After what seemed an excruciating amount of time the door opened and I pushed forward. Melissa made sure I knew she would catch up with me so I walked as fast as I could to the nearest restroom. Thankfully, it was right across from our gate.

Suffice it to say, I made it where I needed to, did what I needed, and all without a single incident. Feeling much better I turned back to the task at hand, heading home. As I stepped out of the restroom and into the main area to look for Melissa, I thought I heard her say my name. I paused but opted to just continue walking thinking I would meet her outside. My name was called two more times in a very urgent tone. I was outside of the entrance by now and did not see Melissa. I swung around as an agitated “what” came out of my lips. I'm not really sure why I was so agitated with having to meet her in the restroom but I went in to find her. I fully expected to see her at a sink. She wasn’t at any of them. A quick glance at the shoes showing under each stall surprised me as none of them belonged to her either. I went to grab my phone to see if perhaps she had sent me a text. My phone! It was still in the stall. A wave of gratefulness washed over me as another realization hit. It wasn’t Melissa who had been calling my name.

I quickly went to the stall, saw my phone and retrieved it. I walked right out to the hall and located Melissa. I asked her if she had called my name. She had not. It served to confirm what I already knew. The Holy Spirit had called out to me.

He knows my phone is very important in my life. I would have been devastated to have lost it. It isn't just a phone, it is my primary means of communication, especially with my husband. God reached into the details of my life and helped me in a moment when I didn’t even know I needed His help. That is the benefit of walking with Him every day, of seeking His presence, of staying pressed into Him.

I love serving a God who cares about the things that are important to me. My heart is still incredibly grateful.

Ever wonder if God is concerned with the details of your life? Wonder if He cares about those little things? Rest assured God IS concerned. He does care. Little things really do matter to God. As do YOU!

Happy 24th Anniversary My Love

2012-04-30T18:16:00.003-05:00

I was 17 and had my entire life before me when we first met. It truly was love at first sight even though it took me a few months to realize it. But not you. You loved me from the very beginning.

I was 19 when we committed to love and honor and cherish til death do us part. Whatever portion of my heart you didn’t already own was captured that day as you stood, strikingly gorgeous, waiting for me to come down the aisle to you.

So much has happened in the twenty-four years since then. We’ve had our share of really good and terribly lousy seasons. I’ve disappointed you at least as often as I have delighted you. And I have held the distinct pleasure of partnering with you as we watched your son grow into an amazing young man with a wife of his own, and our daughter begin to blossom as a young girl.

Best of all, I have been wonderfully loved by you all of these years. May you in turn know how much I love you my dear husband, and how richly blessed I am that God brought you to me.

Happy Anniversary Michael! May we grow old together but never weary of each other.

I love you!

Wanting to Give Up, Choosing to Remain Where I Am

2012-04-21T18:25:00.000-05:00

Most days I'm doing well. Very well in fact.

Then there are moments where I would give practically everything to see Michael, Right. This. Minute!

I get overwhelmed from something as simple as a text message like the one he sent last week, "I got a 100 on my test!"

I was so excited for him because he had studied hard and earned the grade he received. And in that moment I wanted to celebrate with him. I wanted to hug him and be held by him. I longed to eat a meal with him. To sit quietly and enjoy his presence.

That's when the tears slide down my face and the ache in my heart deepens a little more as I ponder the 1,000 miles between us.

I remember the very first time we were separated. I was 18 and living an hour's drive away from Michael. I could barely eat on the days I didn't see him. I had trouble concentrating in school. I hated being apart from him. Eventually I gave up and quit school to be with him.

That was 25 years ago and I don't I like the separation any more now than I did then. I admit, I have faced the same challenge of wanting to give up. But I'm learning to let the emotions wash over me and flow to the feet of Jesus who understands. And as I fight through the tears and heartache I realize how much Christ longs for me. For each of us.

The very thought moves me. It challenges me.

Oh how I take so much for granted. It's changing me. Forcing me to pay more attention to each moment.

And while my heart would love to wish away every day between now and the two months until I'll see Michael, there is a greater part of me that longs to be fully present in each day. To seek treasures I would otherwise miss. So I resolve to let each day pass as it may. I may smile in an evening remembering the day or I may cry myself to sleep.

I'll take where I am so long as I am focused on not missing what God has for me in the midst of these days. And that's what makes this time different from the last. A quiet knowing that His strength works in my weakness. And when I want to give up and say this is just too hard, I lean on Jesus all the more for I know Michael is where he is supposed to be. And I am where I am needed.

And I am thankful.

May you cling to your own treasures each and every day. Whether your loved ones are beside you, away from you, or gone from you for good, I understand.

And so does Jesus.

Marriage together, living apart

2012-03-24T09:47:00.002-05:00

As some of you may know my husband, Michael, has stepped into a new adventure. He is pursuing a dream to work on Harley Davidson motorcycles. This dream has temporarily relocated him a 1,000 miles from home for the next 15 months as he attends school.

I couldn’t be more excited for him! And more aware of how much I love and miss him.

In a phone conversation the other day, I asked Michael if he thought this separation might be good for our marriage. Although neither of us likes being apart, we are optimistic considering the timeless saying, “absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

And so we walk.

In the two short weeks he has been away, I have had overwhelming moments of a deep sense of being alone. Surprised at expectations for him to walk into a room followed by reality, his rooms are in another place now. I never knew I had so many comforting thoughts when he was home. His truck in the driveway, his tv on, hearing him fix a snack in the middle of the night.

There are moments of normalcy. Text messages, phone calls, numerous thoughts of him throughout my day. Those have not changed. They are more precious than before and no longer taken for granted.

And to be fully honest, there are some advantages to him being gone (sorry honey). I have taken over more of our closet, have more shelf space in the shower, less laundry and dirty dishes staring at me. And when I leave our home in the morning it is in the exact same state when I return.

Yet when I return, I face the stark truth of his absence.

My heart sighs.

And I am reminded once again of Psalm 38:9 (ESV) “O Lord, all my longing is before you; my sighing is not hidden from you.”

I am comforted knowing God hears my every sigh. Knows my every longing. Keeps every tear I have cried.

And He will keep Michael and I together as we are apart.

It's time to register for the 2012 Hearts at Home conferences!

2012-02-11T10:08:00.000-06:00

If you are a mom, in any season of motherhood, and would like a day filled with laughter, encouragement, and refreshing, then I would greatly recommend you sign up for one of the 2012 Hearts at Home Conferences!

Hurry! The BEST VALUE REGISTRATION Deadline for the March 16-17 National Conference in Normal, IL, is February 15 (that’s next Wednesday)!

Click here to learn more and join me for the 2012 Hearts at Home conferences!

In 40 Days

2012-01-21T12:16:00.001-06:00

In 40 days, my husband, Michael, will be moving a thousand miles away to follow after a dream placed in his heart. I am so very excited for him and this opportunity while I am already beginning to imagine what the next 15 months might look like without his daily presence. Those thoughts fill my mind and heart with sadness.

Sometimes life is hard. Very hard. And in those hard places all I can do is trust.

Psalm 17:7 says "But blessed is the man who trusts me, God, the woman who sticks with God.” (MSG)

Sticking with God for His long-term plan fills my heart and mind with hope. I can see beyond the 15 months to a place He has for us. To a restored family even more blessed for having been apart.

And I believe.

I believe that God is in full control of every need and longing. Every place our hearts will feel sorrow and our minds will feel alone. For in those moments I will rest on the promises of Him walking with us through this season. For He cares for us. Cares right down to the last detail (James 5:10).

Are you facing a challenging circumstance? Are you feeling alone? Defeated? Worried or anxious? May you know today my friend that He cares. May you lift up your eyes to the One who loves you more than any other and put your faith, and hope, and trust in Him.

I believe by James Fortune

A God Who Sees To It

2011-12-28T15:52:00.002-06:00

We talk often about the faith of Abraham in the story of how he was willing to sacrifice his precious son, Isaac. I cannot imagine God asking me to sacrifice my child or the faith required to follow through on such a request. I pray I never have to find out.

But there's a part of the story I've never heard discussed but have often pondered. What does the story look like from Isaac's perspective.

Isaac walked silently up the mountain. He understood a sacrifice was to be made and when looking around he asks his father where was the sheep? Abraham simply replies that God will provide and they keep walking. But then Isaac finds himself bound and laid upon the altar in place of the lamb. The story doesn’t share what Isaac thought of the situation. Was he scared or angered at his father. Did he cry out or beg for mercy? Or was he, as is implied in the story, simply silent and trusting? Did he see Abraham lift the knife to take his life? And after the angel stopped Abraham did the incident change Isaac's relationship with his father. Did it serve to deepen his own faith?

Sometimes God asks us to sacrifice something very dear to us. Sometimes He asks us to give up things that, though they aren't dear, they are still a sacrifice. Other times we are like Isaac, the one on the sacrificial altar. The one putting our trust outside of the circumstances in which we find ourselves.

Whether Abraham or Isaac in any situation we must have faith. A deep trust that God will provide and He will rescue.

What do you need as you end this year and head into the next?

Do you need Jehovah-Yireh? A God who provides? Who sees to it? Who rescues?

He is there for us today as He was for Abraham and as He was for Isaac.

May we always seek to trust in His provision and His rescue for us. For He sees us where we are, He knows our circumstances and He is already working on our behalf. All He requires is our trust.

Does He have it?

Genesis 22:1-19

Child-like Delight

2011-12-10T19:52:00.001-06:00

I remember as a child getting excited about Christmas. Dreaming about the possibility of gifts I might receive. Today, I decided to take advantage of some free time and wrap up Lydia's gifts. I was not prepared for her response upon the site of them.

I knew she would squeal with delight. I expected the requests to open "just one." What surprised me, however, was how her eyes filled with tears as she placed each of her gifts beneath the tree. Almost breathlessly she responded, "oh, I don't know why I'm crying."

It caused me to think about the gift of Christ. The gifts He continues to pour into my life. Have I, with child-like abandon, responded with pure delight at the simple fact that I have received a gift from the heart of Christ?

May we all take note of this simple response from this precious child. It wasn't the number of gifts or the potential of what each package contained, rather the understanding that she is loved. Dearly loved, as we are by the one who shed tears for us, giving His life so that we might receive forgiveness for our sins and partake in the promise of heaven.

"God's gift has restored our relationship with him and given us back our lives. And there's more life to come--an eternity of life!" ~ Titus 3:7 MSG

Grumbling to Gratefulness

2011-09-27T15:52:00.000-05:00

One of the things I have struggled with lately is my attitude at work. Some of my grumbling stems from the work itself but more so how I sense a lack of respect for who I am by those assigning me the tasks.

I have been asking God to help me with my heart condition. I know I am to do the work as Christ did, as a servant with a glad heart, as if "unto Christ." I have tried to respond in gratefulness while inside I wrestled with my seething pride.

Then, just this morning my good friend, Melissa Milbourn sent me the following scriptures.

Psalm 37:6-7 “He’ll validate your life in the clear light of day and stamp you with approval at high noon. Quiet down before God, be prayerful before him. Don’t bother with those who climb the ladder, who elbow their way to the top.” (MSG)

Luke 14:11 "For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted." (NLT)

1 Peter 5:6 “So be content with who you are, and don’t put on airs. God’s strong hand is on you; he’ll promote you at the right time.” (MSG)

So I grabbed ahold of these verses and chose to focus on how God might use a gracious and willing attitude to serve others in my workplace rather than harboring airs about how I'm being disrespected. I'm choosing to model after Jesus who, as Melissa also so graciously pointed out, "washed the disciples feet."

I'm forcing myself to turn my grumbling into gratefulness. My resentment into rejoicing. It hasn't been easy. No not at all. And I will likely stumble a few more times before I am able to fully replace my fleshly response with His gracious one. Yet, I am committed to continue on because well, it's the right thing to do.

How about you? Have you caught yourself grumbling lately?

Committ today to changing your grumbling to gratefulness. Together, we'll be in good company.

Sanctuary

2011-08-28T19:43:00.002-05:00

A sanctuary is a place of refuge, a nature reserve, a holy place¹.

Lately I have sought sanctuary. I have found a portion of it in a little park near where I work. However, the sanctuary I seek is not found in a place. Rather, it is my wholehearted desire to meet with Jesus. I seek Him in the park, I seek Him when I rise in the morning, as I go through my day, and as I lie down at night.

It’s not only a place of refuge but one of relationship.

How my soul responds to these words:

“Everyone who confesses that Jesus is God's Son participates continuously in an intimate relationship with God.” 1 John 4:13 (Message)

I am seeking a continual relationship with Jesus, the One who knows me better than anyone else.

Have you walked with Him lately? Have you sought His intimate relationship?

Go now for He is waiting for you.

_______________

¹Dictionary.com

Happy Birthday to Me!

2011-08-10T22:36:00.006-05:00

Today marked the start of a new year bringing it with some incredibly sweet moments. I love my birthday not for the gifts but for the opportunity to pause and celebrate life.

My day included lunch with a wonderful friend, Melissa Milbourn, who lives 2 1/2 hours away!

(Road trip! Yay!)

Melissa and MarLo

An abundance of Facebook posts, text messages, phone calls, and emails from family and friends

offering witty, sentimental, and incredibly thoughtful birthday wishes!

(Words are my love language so I felt nothing but love all day long!)

Time spent shopping with my adorable little fashionista, Lydia.

(Shopping might be my second love language.)

Lydia

Who slept most of the trip (both there and back!)

Love the sleep mask!

A quick rest stop where we had too much fun taking photos of each other!

Followed by dinner with my Mom, Dad, Grandma, and Aunt Alice!

We had S'mores for dessert then found out today is National S'mores Day! Who knew?

Regardless of what the year ahead may bring, I count myself very blessed!

Thanks again everyone for celebrating with me today!

Beautiful Birthday Girl

2011-08-06T06:00:00.016-05:00

I still remember the day my heart longed to have a child of my own. The day I begged God to some how, some way, show favor on me with a child.

Fourteen years later I gave birth to God's answer to my prayer.

Today Lydia turns 9!

Each passing year tugs at my heart.

I delight in watching her grow into a beautiful young girl, while at the same time I'm incredibly aware of how few the years are between today and the moment she'll spread out her wings.

To know Lydia, to soak in her sweet beauty, look into her brilliant eyes, or receive a smile surrounded by adorable dimples is to see the handiwork of God. She makes me laugh (often), she's the first to notice if someone needs help, she's also witty and loves a good practical joke.

She is a graceful dancer, loves fashion, enjoys cooking, and would own a cheetah if that was allowed. She loves to hang out at home, watch movies, eat ice cream or anything dark chocolate, and pray.

Lydia is a gift enjoyed every day.

Happy birthday Lydia! You, my precious gift, are much loved!

Hearts at Home Blog Hop: How are you like/different than your mom?

2011-07-21T23:17:00.004-05:00

Heart's at Home's Third Thursday Blog Hop is asking the following questions. How are you like your mom? How are you different from your mom?

My mom is one of my best friends. I look forward to talking with her every day and am blessed to have her so close. But as much as we enjoy spending time with each other we aren't exactly the same.

We are alike in the following ways:

We both love to read, especially a good mystery or books that inspire our faith.
We love to travel although I prefer to fly and she would much rather drive.
We love to serve in our communities and church. She has served on several Boards and is currently serving with two different outreach programs. I currently serve on Hearts at Home's Board of Directors.
We love being moms! (She also loves being a grandma!)

There are a few ways we are different.

She is an introvert and I am an extrovert.
She loves to cook (and she is amazing!) and I have an aversion to the kitchen.
She has a type A personality and I am very type B.
She has a keen eye for decorating and I, lets just say I should hire her.

I am who I am today in a big way because of my mom. She inspires me to put my all into what I do. She supports me whether I am trying something new or giving up and moving on. I used to think she was Superwoman, now I know she's a wife and mom just like me trying to do our best for our family, seeking grace when we fall short.

I am very thankful to have a mom like mine. She inspires me every day.

(P.S. She's probably crying a little after reading this. It's another way which we are different and another reason I love her so.)

I love you mom!

What kind of story are you telling with your life?

2011-07-18T22:14:00.000-05:00

What if my life was captured in the Bible?

This question tripped me up one day. Unable to land on an answer it continues to consume my thoughts. There are a lot of stories in the Bible of people who's faith was tested in some way or another. Most of them inspire me with how they faced their challenges, clinging to hope, resolving to trust in God despite their circumstances. Then there are those who's choices took them down a destructive path.

And so I wonder.

If my life was captured in the Bible would it tell a story of faith or failure?

What about you? Have you ever thought about the story of your life and what it might say to others? Would our lives emulate those who's stories have been told before ours?

Are we like Eve? Tempted by what we don't have rather than what we do? Too impatient to wait on God to teach us; enticed instead by what others whisper in our ears?

Are we filled with jealousy like Cain or greed like Judas?

Maybe we're like Sarah, scoffing at the idea of God performing miracles "at our age".

Oh that we would be like Esther, Ruth, or Mary appointed at a specific time for a divine purpose and faithfully and obediently saying yes.

To be like David, a servant after God's own heart.

Even more to be like John the Baptist, Paul, or Jesus, spreading the truth about the love of God for His people, caring for the sick, poor, widowed, and orphaned.

There are numerous examples of real people like you and me who's stories made their way into the Bible. Our lives may not be read about in the future but they are certainly watched every day by our family, friends, neighbors, and colleagues.

What kind of story are they reading in our every day lives?

A Heartfelt Miracle

2011-04-21T22:20:00.000-05:00

Miracles come in many forms. Sometimes we dismiss them as mere coincidence. Sometimes we don't even notice them especially when the miracle takes place in our heart.

A year ago my family was facing a significant change. My husband was battling some health issues and was unable to work. I was having a difficult time watching him struggle amidst determining how the decreased income would impact our family, while also figuring out how to make everything appear normal with our then seven-year-old daughter.

Needless to say I was quite stressed.

I prayed fervently for my husband's health. I did my best to make sense of our dwindling finances, and I continued to reach out and educate myself in order to best help my daughter understand what was going on. I was also trying not to lose myself amidst the trying circumstances.

I wondered about my ability to handle every thing. Some days I just wanted to cry all day and release the burdens I was feeling. Other days I was upset over my inability to help my husband. And some days I focused on the blessings I did have--a place to call home, supportive family and friends, and most of all, a loving God I knew I could trust. Regardless of which way I approached my day I just didn't feel myself. Nothing felt "normal."

That's when a friend suggested I read Carol Kent's book, "Embracing a New Normal." Until that point I believe I was in denial about how my prior life had gone away, permanently. Reading Carol's book prompted me to embrace my own, "normal" life. My heart changed from one longing for what I could not change to accepting my circumstances. Today, I feel "normal" even though our situation has not changed. Now that is a heartfelt miracle! One I am thankful to embrace. Every. Single. Day.

Batteries Charged!

2011-03-13T16:04:00.000-05:00

I'm full!

I knew I would be following the Hearts at Home conference this past weekend but I'm always amazed when even my own expectations are surpassed. I've been reflecting on all the great information shared by this year's speakers. Jennifer Rothschild encouraged me with her own vulnerabilities, Chonda Pierce reminded me how good it feels to laugh, really laugh, and Hearts at Home founder, Jill Savage inspired me to think more intentionally about the impacts of my parenting on future generations.

Beyond the main sessions, Moms Night Out, and workshops, I made new friends and met up with many I already know and love. Yes, I'm full and so much better for it. The smile on my face perfectly matches the gratitude in my heart for the many blessings I received this weekend.

If finding renewed energy and appreciation as a mom is something you need join us at one of the conferences this fall and make plans to join us at the National Conference next March.

Moms, Don't Miss A Chance To Recharge Your Batteries!

2011-02-02T11:06:00.000-06:00

Perhaps you have a friend, or a group of friends, with whom you always look forward to spending time. You laugh and cry together, eat your favorite foods, talk about life for hours on end, and walk away from the time together feeling better than before you went.

Well, if you're a mom, sometimes those opportunities are a bit harder to come by. With kids activities, time with your significant other, work, home, or perhaps even school, there just doesn't seem enough time for you, let alone time for your friends. I know how you feel. That's why I make certain to include at least one day a year just for me. That day is spent attending the Hearts at Home conference in Bloomington, IL. This year it will be held March 11-12.

Before you stop reading let me dispel a few myths some have regarding the conference.

MYTH #1 - The conference is for stay-at-home moms.

TRUTH - The conference is for moms who work full-time (like me) or part-time outside the home as well as for those who are at home with their families.

MYTH #2 - The conference is for moms with young children.

TRUTH - Hearts at Home is for EVERY mom in EVERY season of motherhood. Whether your kids are infants, toddlers, in grade school, middle school, high school, college or living on their own, this conference is for you! I have a grade schooler at home and a step-son who is married. I get a lot out of the conference that helps me as a mom even though my kids are 18 years apart.

MYTH #3 - Conferences are boring!

TRUTH - Hearts at Home conferences are energizing! At the end of the day I feel renewed. I take away much more than I brought. I make new friends, learn new information and most of all, recognize I'm not alone in this mothering journey!

I know how beneficial it is for me, and for my family, which is why I want to personally invite you to join me this year. I don't want a single mom to miss what will be one of the best conferences yet with Jennifer Rothschild, Chonda Pierce, Jill Savage and more than two dozen brand new workshops! My biggest issue is trying to narrow down my workshop choices. I already can't wait to hear from Wendy Pope, Kendra Smiley, and Connie Johnson!

I want to share one of my favorite days with every mom I know. Come on, you know you want to, but you better hurry up and register before the best value registration ends on Wednesday, February 9. After that registration is $20 more and will not include lunch.

Say yes! Yes for you. Yes for your family. Yes for me! I promise you will not regret it!

Can't wait to see you there!

Longing For Success

2011-01-06T13:38:00.000-06:00

Ever caught yourself wishing you were someone else?

Though I hate to admit it, I have.

I didn’t really want to be the other person; instead, I longed to have my own sense of accomplishment. I looked at their life and wished I was as successful in school, in my career, with my health, in my marriage, or as a parent.

Reality check!

It took me a while to realize a longing to have what someone else has would never bring to fruition those things I most desired. It may however, bring about bitterness, envy and strife.

Yikes!

The truth is, there is not another me. I have been formed, skilled, matured, mentored, given specific responsibilities and placed right where I am for a very specific purpose. So have you. So have they.

When I longed to have what someone else had I was usually looking for a shortcut to get me to where I wanted to be. Or l was looking for an excuse on which to hang my own feelings of inadequacy. Or maybe I was focused on selfish ambitions rather than kingdom gains. Yeah, that last one, that’s probably the closest to the truth.

I’m still learning to focus on these words from Philippians 2:13, “for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.” (NIV)

In other words, I have all I need to do all I’m to do when I rely on God to work within me to accomplish His purposes, not mine.

Today I recognize my job is to lift up those who are succeeding that they may continue to fulfill the purpose God has for them. The more I lift them up, the more overjoyed I am that God is using them in unique ways to reach out to those I was never supposed to reach.

Certainly I have growth opportunities in my life. I want to continue to learn from others how to strengthen my marriage and to be a better parent. I also want to discover ways to help with my desires to be healthier and to use my talents wisely.

Perhaps you’re where I was. Longing for things you don’t yet have. Wishing things in your life were different. Focused on someone else’s successes wishing they were yours.

Would you join me in first accepting all you are. After all, you are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” (Psalm 139:14 NIV) God can and will use you, as you are today. Your purpose is found in today. Embrace it and you!

Then, begin to lift up those in prayer who are "successful” asking for God to continue to bless them for His gain.

Taking these two steps you will begin to find renewed strength for your unique needs and you will see where you are already successful.

What Every Mom Needs

2010-12-26T21:23:00.000-06:00

I woke up this morning thinking about the needs of moms.

Every mom.

Regardless of where she works (inside or outside the home, full or part-time). Despite her marital status. No matter where she lives. Whether the children are adopted, naturally hers, stepchildren, foster children or any child, at any age, she's taken into her home.

A mom is a mom and all moms share the same needs. I bet if you thought about it you would realize that every need you have as a mom is shared by any other mom. I'm only going to highlight a few of them as I near the end of this year of motherhood and prepare for the next.

First, every mom needs rest. For all my mom friends with young children you're probably trying hard to make it through this post! The rest of us are tired too but for different reasons. Some of it is lack of sleep, much of it is too many items on our to-do lists. Without adequate rest we run the risk of low energy from staying up too late accomplishing tasks or stressing over what still needs to be done. We need a break. A real one. Every day. It's amazing what a small break can do for us. How do you take breaks? This is one area I could really learn from others on. I'm horrible at taking time to sit and rest. So please, fill me in on what works best for you.

Every mom needs a sense of purpose. Purpose doesn't come from what you do, it builds from a sense of why you exist. Recognizing your own gifts and talents and putting them to use goes a long way in bringing about a very real need to be valued. One thing I'm really good at is quickly recognizing solutions to problems. This plays out well in my corporate job and volunteer activities but also in my role as a mom. Knowing this is a strength and combining it with other talents has served me well in satisfying my deep desire to make a difference in the lives of others. What about you? How have you embraced your own purpose? Have you discovered it yet? Has it changed and evolved over the years?

Every mom needs a friend (or two). We were never meant to do life alone. We need to include others in our life. Even those of us with husbands or co-workers need friends in our lives. I love spending time with my family but even I know I'm a better wife and mom when I've shared some time with my friends. Time free from responsibilities of being a wife and mom. Someone who I can help along in their own journey and someone who can help me in mine. It's friends I have called on along with family during some of my neediest times and it's investing in friends that has made me realize the beauty of friendships. Mom's groups, churches, schools, and your neighborhood are all great places to find friends if you're lacking them. Do you make time for friends? What's your favorite thing to do with friends? Mine is to sit and talk, for hours. My husband appreciates it when they let me.

Every married mom needs to invest in her marriage. This may seem like a given but this was an eye-opener for me a few years ago. I hadn't realized I was putting my daughter's needs above my husband's. What a mistake that was! Making time for date nights and quiet time for just the two of us hasn't been easy but I grow more dedicated to it with each passing year. How do you make time for your own relationship with your husband? I need to hear your ideas so perhaps I can steal a few of them.

Every mom needs to parent intentionally. I've spent years attending continued education classes for various professions. I never viewed my job as a mom as needing the same thing until I attended my first Hearts at Home conference in 2006 when my daughter was three. It was then I realized how much greater a mom I can be when I have not only a plan for my role as a mom but also tools and information to support my goals. Have you ever attended a conference for moms or parenting classes? I highly recommend it if you haven't. In fact, I'd love for you to join me at one of Hearts at Home's conferences this year.

Every mom needs spiritual guidance. I'm a mom because of God's blessing in granting me the privilege of raising my daughter. The more I grow in my faith the better I'm able to manage the ups and downs that come with parenting. The more I trust the less need I have to worry about my daughter's future. The greater I strive to be more like Christ, the more I realize I'm not perfect but covered by grace--something I need to continually offer to others as well. How's your faith these days? If you need spiritual support I'd be happy to pray for you, just let me know.

There are many other areas where moms have common needs but in keeping with my own desire to maintain balance in my life I'll share one final thought. Every mom needs encouragement. Keep up the great work moms! Your efforts make a tangible difference in this world!

My Friend, Vicky

2010-10-31T18:13:00.000-05:00

Lately my junior high friend, Vicky, has been on my mind. A lot.

You see Vicky and I met when I moved from the suburbs of St. Louis to the “small town” life of central Illinois. I was a freshman, she a seventh grader. We lived a few houses apart, we each were the oldest in our families, and we both hated our hair. Beyond that our lives were very different. She came from what many would consider a "well-to-do" family; she owned horses, wore designer clothes, and, well, you get the picture. My family fell into the low- to mid-income range and the year my family was renting the house near Vicky was the first time I had ever been in a neighborhood with a country club.

Every time I think about Vicky I see her as she was then, a young girl who believed she was awkward, ugly, and unloved. An individual with all the great characteristics of a "best friend" but who was desperate for friendship. Those looking in from the outside only saw her family's financial status. They never saw what was going on inside the home, inside Vicky's heart. But I knew because she often shared her insecurities and fears. I hugged her when her parents told her they were splitting up, I tried my best to encourage her as she moved to Chicago with her mom, far away from the father, home, and horses she loved.

It makes me sad to think about Vicky. During my junior year she died in a tragic plane crash along with her father and two siblings. She left this world never getting to grow into the beautiful woman she most likely would have become with her striking skin tone, beautiful eyes, and yes, even with her wild mane. Whenever I encounter women who view themselves much the same as they did during those awkward early teen years I think about Vicky. I think about the old me.

Much like Vicky I believed I had little value or worth in this world. I felt ugly, unlovable, and largely insecure. I carried the burdens of my past as if I couldn't live without them. I was destined to live my life overwhelmed by my own inadequacies. Unlike Vicky, I could make a choice to think different.

Over time I began to replace the lies of yesterday with the truths of today. I recognized that to feel different I had to first act different. It's been a slow process as I've forced myself to look at the positive qualities I possess, to choose to believe I have much to offer and to look in the mirror and honestly believe I look better than good.

I want how I feel, how I see myself today, to be the way every woman views herself. Loved. Valued. Beautiful. I want to put my arms around every "Vicky" I encounter and love them into loving themselves. Where my arms are inadequate, God's arms are sufficient. Only through His point of view can any one person become whole.

Do you have a "Vicky" complex? Do you need to receive the truths waiting for you? If so I'd love to be able to encourage you today.

Shopping For A New Perspective

2010-09-05T07:00:00.017-05:00

During a recent shopping trip my daughter, Lydia, became exasperated as she tried on several pairs of shoes, none of which fit. She finally cried out, "Shoe stores can be soooo frustrating!" She had in mind a certain look and every time she saw a pair of shoes that came close to what she had envisioned she would get a burst of hope as we searched the stacks of boxes looking for her size. On occasion we would find a box with the correct number and she would get giddy as she wrestled them out of the box, stripped out all the paper stuffed inside, and worked at the various buckles or straps to get them on her feet. Too often though the smile disappeared as disappointment set in when the shoes just didn't work on her feet. She was tiring of the process and I knew exactly how she was feeling.

Life can sometimes be just like that shopping experience.

We get something stuck in our head or heart and begin to seek it out. We start out with high hopes believing we can easily accomplish this new desire. We get excited when things appear to be working out but when all doesn't go as planned our hopes dash right into disappointments. Before we know it we're crying out about how life can be soooo frustrating! Too often we give up, shoving our dreams back into a box, closing the lid and walking away defeated.

I looked at my daughter's face and knew she was resigning to the fact her dream shoes were not going to materialize. I knew it was only the first of many disappointments in life and a lesson we all face but I also realized I could offer another chance at hope.

It took two more stores before we finally found the shoes. Fashionable, comfortable, and age appropriate!

I was as elated as she because this search had helped me to look at my own heart's desires and find renewed strength to persevere. Funny how something as simple as a shoe shopping trip can birth a new perspective.

What about you? Have you felt defeated lately? Don't give up! Instead, join me in hanging tight to our dreams and setting our minds on persevering until they become a reality. Either that or take a determined eight-year-old out shopping.

Exhaustion Doesn’t Even Cover It!

2010-08-05T14:33:00.000-05:00

Worn Out!

Are you a wife or a mom who is tired—mentally, physically, or emotionally? I am a wife and a mom and I have so been there! Too mentally tired to read—email, favorite authors, a magazine article, yes even to want to look at Facebook©! Too emotional to enjoy great moments in life—my husband’s good natured ribbing, my daughter’s laughter, time with friends. Too exhausted to keep up with daily tasks let alone exercise!

I don’t necessarily want to be superwoman but I certainly get caught up in doing. I add one more task to my ever increasing list because it’s something I really want to accomplish. But the worse offense I often find myself engaged in, is giving my family leftovers.

Not the prior day meals, though that happens, okay frequently. No, I’m talking about the lack of depth of available emotional, mental, and physical reserves. I desire to actively listen to my daughter even if she takes for-ev-er to recount a story. I want to happily rub my husband’s back when he needs it rather than grumbling about how tired I am. I want to view the needs around my home as a testament to the blessings I’ve received rather than using them as justification for my emotional outbursts.

Instead I’m empty so I tune out, complain, and overreact.

Time to Refuel

So what is a wife and mother to do?

Fill up.

A tank needs fuel to operate the car; we need our own source of energy to function.

A great way to refuel is to spend time with God. Listening, praying, absorbing. This is very important and I don’t ever want to dismiss it or diminish this precious time. If you aren’t already in this habit I’d love to encourage you toward it.

Beyond this quiet time I would like to challenge you to consider an added path to reload your empty reservoir . . . attend a conference!

“Say what!” You might respond.

I’m telling you, I have attended at least one conference a year for the past four years and the benefits go well beyond me.

Just last weekend I put 1,600 miles on my car to attend She Speaks, a conference designed to encourage writers, speakers and ministry leaders. I found the weekend was exactly what I needed to recharge my rundown batteries. Even my husband, Michael, noticed the difference upon my return remarking, “You seem mentally refreshed after this weekend.” Truth is, I was. I am!

There’s nothing better than commiserating among 600 other women who are seeking to join hands in spreading a common passion. I made lasting connections, gathered tactical insights, and was challenged in deepening my relationship with Christ. I am so completely full I’m spilling out joy on my family, friends, co-workers and even strangers.

Perhaps you’re thinking you can’t afford to attend a conference. Maybe, like me, you work full-time outside the home and feel guilty taking a weekend away from your family.

I understand. In a year where our finances significantly decreased while my workload increased I wondered how on earth I could be so selfish as to plan a weekend away just for me. The reality is my family needs me to take this time even when they don’t want me to go.

Take a New Approach

I’d like to challenge you to find a conference that fits your interests that you will today make the commitment to attend. Besides next year’s She Speaks (which may or may not be your thing) I have a couple of other suggestions.

Top of my list is Hearts At Home. In fact, Hearts came to exist out of the founder, Jill Savage’s, need to replenish her own cup. If you are a mom and have never been I'll say this, you’ll never want to go another year without plugging in at a Hearts event. Your family will love the wife and mom that returns to them year after year. The next event is this fall in Minnesota. Plenty of time to register and prepare!

A second choice would be an event such as Women of Faith or Extraordinary Women. Both are amazing times of soaking in truths and finding encouragement. And because I attended She Speaks this year, I have a unique offer I can share regarding Extraordinary Women. If you’d like to join me at the event in Rockford, IL the weekend of November 5-6, I can bring as many friends as I want at a reduced rate. Contact me or comment below if you’d like more information.

Whether it’s one of these events or something else like it I want to strongly encourage you to set aside your “I can’t’s” and commit to an “I must.” I fully believe this is one of the best decisions you can make for yourself and your family.

Come on, you can do it. I triple dog dare ya!