Moments with MarLo

In 40 Days

2012-01-21T12:16:00.001-06:00

In 40 days, my husband, Michael, will be moving a thousand miles away to follow after a dream placed in his heart. I am so very excited for him and this opportunity while I am already beginning to imagine what the next 15 months might look like without his daily presence. Those thoughts fill my mind and heart with sadness.

Sometimes life is hard. Very hard. And in those hard places all I can do is trust.

Psalm 17:7 says "But blessed is the man who trusts me, God, the woman who sticks with God.” (MSG)

Sticking with God for His long-term plan fills my heart and mind with hope. I can see beyond the 15 months to a place He has for us. To a restored family even more blessed for having been apart.

And I believe.

I believe that God is in full control of every need and longing. Every place our hearts will feel sorrow and our minds will feel alone. For in those moments I will rest on the promises of Him walking with us through this season. For He cares for us. Cares right down to the last detail (James 5:10).

Are you facing a challenging circumstance? Are you feeling alone? Defeated? Worried or anxious? May you know today my friend that He cares. May you lift up your eyes to the One who loves you more than any other and put your faith, and hope, and trust in Him.

I believe by James Fortune

A God Who Sees To It

2011-12-28T15:52:00.002-06:00

We talk often about the faith of Abraham in the story of how he was willing to sacrifice his precious son, Isaac. I cannot imagine God asking me to sacrifice my child or the faith required to follow through on such a request. I pray I never have to find out.

But there's a part of the story I've never heard discussed but have often pondered. What does the story look like from Isaac's perspective.

Isaac walked silently up the mountain. He understood a sacrifice was to be made and when looking around he asks his father where was the sheep? Abraham simply replies that God will provide and they keep walking. But then Isaac finds himself bound and laid upon the altar in place of the lamb. The story doesn’t share what Isaac thought of the situation. Was he scared or angered at his father. Did he cry out or beg for mercy? Or was he, as is implied in the story, simply silent and trusting? Did he see Abraham lift the knife to take his life? And after the angel stopped Abraham did the incident change Isaac's relationship with his father. Did it serve to deepen his own faith?

Sometimes God asks us to sacrifice something very dear to us. Sometimes He asks us to give up things that, though they aren't dear, they are still a sacrifice. Other times we are like Isaac, the one on the sacrificial altar. The one putting our trust outside of the circumstances in which we find ourselves.

Whether Abraham or Isaac in any situation we must have faith. A deep trust that God will provide and He will rescue.

What do you need as you end this year and head into the next?

Do you need Jehovah-Yireh? A God who provides? Who sees to it? Who rescues?

He is there for us today as He was for Abraham and as He was for Isaac.

May we always seek to trust in His provision and His rescue for us. For He sees us where we are, He knows our circumstances and He is already working on our behalf. All He requires is our trust.

Does He have it?

Genesis 22:1-19

Child-like Delight

2011-12-10T19:52:00.001-06:00

I remember as a child getting excited about Christmas. Dreaming about the possibility of gifts I might receive. Today, I decided to take advantage of some free time and wrap up Lydia's gifts. I was not prepared for her response upon the site of them.

I knew she would squeal with delight. I expected the requests to open "just one." What surprised me, however, was how her eyes filled with tears as she placed each of her gifts beneath the tree. Almost breathlessly she responded, "oh, I don't know why I'm crying."

It caused me to think about the gift of Christ. The gifts He continues to pour into my life. Have I, with child-like abandon, responded with pure delight at the simple fact that I have received a gift from the heart of Christ?

May we all take note of this simple response from this precious child. It wasn't the number of gifts or the potential of what each package contained, rather the understanding that she is loved. Dearly loved, as we are by the one who shed tears for us, giving His life so that we might receive forgiveness for our sins and partake in the promise of heaven.

"God's gift has restored our relationship with him and given us back our lives. And there's more life to come--an eternity of life!" ~ Titus 3:7 MSG

Grumbling to Gratefulness

2011-09-27T15:52:00.000-05:00

One of the things I have struggled with lately is my attitude at work. Some of my grumbling stems from the work itself but more so how I sense a lack of respect for who I am by those assigning me the tasks.

I have been asking God to help me with my heart condition. I know I am to do the work as Christ did, as a servant with a glad heart, as if "unto Christ." I have tried to respond in gratefulness while inside I wrestled with my seething pride.

Then, just this morning my good friend, Melissa Milbourn sent me the following scriptures.

Psalm 37:6-7 “He’ll validate your life in the clear light of day and stamp you with approval at high noon. Quiet down before God, be prayerful before him. Don’t bother with those who climb the ladder, who elbow their way to the top.” (MSG)

Luke 14:11 "For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted." (NLT)

1 Peter 5:6 “So be content with who you are, and don’t put on airs. God’s strong hand is on you; he’ll promote you at the right time.” (MSG)

So I grabbed ahold of these verses and chose to focus on how God might use a gracious and willing attitude to serve others in my workplace rather than harboring airs about how I'm being disrespected. I'm choosing to model after Jesus who, as Melissa also so graciously pointed out, "washed the disciples feet."

I'm forcing myself to turn my grumbling into gratefulness. My resentment into rejoicing. It hasn't been easy. No not at all. And I will likely stumble a few more times before I am able to fully replace my fleshly response with His gracious one. Yet, I am committed to continue on because well, it's the right thing to do.

How about you? Have you caught yourself grumbling lately?

Committ today to changing your grumbling to gratefulness. Together, we'll be in good company.

Sanctuary

2011-08-28T19:43:00.002-05:00

A sanctuary is a place of refuge, a nature reserve, a holy place¹.

Lately I have sought sanctuary. I have found a portion of it in a little park near where I work. However, the sanctuary I seek is not found in a place. Rather, it is my wholehearted desire to meet with Jesus. I seek Him in the park, I seek Him when I rise in the morning, as I go through my day, and as I lie down at night.

It’s not only a place of refuge but one of relationship.

How my soul responds to these words:

“Everyone who confesses that Jesus is God's Son participates continuously in an intimate relationship with God.” 1 John 4:13 (Message)

I am seeking a continual relationship with Jesus, the One who knows me better than anyone else.

Have you walked with Him lately? Have you sought His intimate relationship?

Go now for He is waiting for you.

_______________

¹Dictionary.com

Happy Birthday to Me!

2011-08-10T22:36:00.006-05:00

Today marked the start of a new year bringing it with some incredibly sweet moments. I love my birthday not for the gifts but for the opportunity to pause and celebrate life.

My day included lunch with a wonderful friend, Melissa Milbourn, who lives 2 1/2 hours away!

(Road trip! Yay!)

Melissa and MarLo

An abundance of Facebook posts, text messages, phone calls, and emails from family and friends

offering witty, sentimental, and incredibly thoughtful birthday wishes!

(Words are my love language so I felt nothing but love all day long!)

Time spent shopping with my adorable little fashionista, Lydia.

(Shopping might be my second love language.)

Lydia

Who slept most of the trip (both there and back!)

Love the sleep mask!

A quick rest stop where we had too much fun taking photos of each other!

Followed by dinner with my Mom, Dad, Grandma, and Aunt Alice!

We had S'mores for dessert then found out today is National S'mores Day! Who knew?

Regardless of what the year ahead may bring, I count myself very blessed!

Thanks again everyone for celebrating with me today!

Beautiful Birthday Girl

2011-08-06T06:00:00.016-05:00

I still remember the day my heart longed to have a child of my own. The day I begged God to some how, some way, show favor on me with a child.

Fourteen years later I gave birth to God's answer to my prayer.

Today Lydia turns 9!

Each passing year tugs at my heart.

I delight in watching her grow into a beautiful young girl, while at the same time I'm incredibly aware of how few the years are between today and the moment she'll spread out her wings.

To know Lydia, to soak in her sweet beauty, look into her brilliant eyes, or receive a smile surrounded by adorable dimples is to see the handiwork of God. She makes me laugh (often), she's the first to notice if someone needs help, she's also witty and loves a good practical joke.

She is a graceful dancer, loves fashion, enjoys cooking, and would own a cheetah if that was allowed. She loves to hang out at home, watch movies, eat ice cream or anything dark chocolate, and pray.

Lydia is a gift enjoyed every day.

Happy birthday Lydia! You, my precious gift, are much loved!

Hearts at Home Blog Hop: How are you like/different than your mom?

2011-07-21T23:17:00.004-05:00

Heart's at Home's Third Thursday Blog Hop is asking the following questions. How are you like your mom? How are you different from your mom?

My mom is one of my best friends. I look forward to talking with her every day and am blessed to have her so close. But as much as we enjoy spending time with each other we aren't exactly the same.

We are alike in the following ways:

We both love to read, especially a good mystery or books that inspire our faith.
We love to travel although I prefer to fly and she would much rather drive.
We love to serve in our communities and church. She has served on several Boards and is currently serving with two different outreach programs. I currently serve on Hearts at Home's Board of Directors.
We love being moms! (She also loves being a grandma!)

There are a few ways we are different.

She is an introvert and I am an extrovert.
She loves to cook (and she is amazing!) and I have an aversion to the kitchen.
She has a type A personality and I am very type B.
She has a keen eye for decorating and I, lets just say I should hire her.

I am who I am today in a big way because of my mom. She inspires me to put my all into what I do. She supports me whether I am trying something new or giving up and moving on. I used to think she was Superwoman, now I know she's a wife and mom just like me trying to do our best for our family, seeking grace when we fall short.

I am very thankful to have a mom like mine. She inspires me every day.

(P.S. She's probably crying a little after reading this. It's another way which we are different and another reason I love her so.)

I love you mom!

What kind of story are you telling with your life?

2011-07-18T22:14:00.000-05:00

What if my life was captured in the Bible?

This question tripped me up one day. Unable to land on an answer it continues to consume my thoughts. There are a lot of stories in the Bible of people who's faith was tested in some way or another. Most of them inspire me with how they faced their challenges, clinging to hope, resolving to trust in God despite their circumstances. Then there are those who's choices took them down a destructive path.

And so I wonder.

If my life was captured in the Bible would it tell a story of faith or failure?

What about you? Have you ever thought about the story of your life and what it might say to others? Would our lives emulate those who's stories have been told before ours?

Are we like Eve? Tempted by what we don't have rather than what we do? Too impatient to wait on God to teach us; enticed instead by what others whisper in our ears?

Are we filled with jealousy like Cain or greed like Judas?

Maybe we're like Sarah, scoffing at the idea of God performing miracles "at our age".

Oh that we would be like Esther, Ruth, or Mary appointed at a specific time for a divine purpose and faithfully and obediently saying yes.

To be like David, a servant after God's own heart.

Even more to be like John the Baptist, Paul, or Jesus, spreading the truth about the love of God for His people, caring for the sick, poor, widowed, and orphaned.

There are numerous examples of real people like you and me who's stories made their way into the Bible. Our lives may not be read about in the future but they are certainly watched every day by our family, friends, neighbors, and colleagues.

What kind of story are they reading in our every day lives?

A Heartfelt Miracle

2011-04-21T22:20:00.000-05:00

Miracles come in many forms. Sometimes we dismiss them as mere coincidence. Sometimes we don't even notice them especially when the miracle takes place in our heart.

A year ago my family was facing a significant change. My husband was battling some health issues and was unable to work. I was having a difficult time watching him struggle amidst determining how the decreased income would impact our family, while also figuring out how to make everything appear normal with our then seven-year-old daughter.

Needless to say I was quite stressed.

I prayed fervently for my husband's health. I did my best to make sense of our dwindling finances, and I continued to reach out and educate myself in order to best help my daughter understand what was going on. I was also trying not to lose myself amidst the trying circumstances.

I wondered about my ability to handle every thing. Some days I just wanted to cry all day and release the burdens I was feeling. Other days I was upset over my inability to help my husband. And some days I focused on the blessings I did have--a place to call home, supportive family and friends, and most of all, a loving God I knew I could trust. Regardless of which way I approached my day I just didn't feel myself. Nothing felt "normal."

That's when a friend suggested I read Carol Kent's book, "Embracing a New Normal." Until that point I believe I was in denial about how my prior life had gone away, permanently. Reading Carol's book prompted me to embrace my own, "normal" life. My heart changed from one longing for what I could not change to accepting my circumstances. Today, I feel "normal" even though our situation has not changed. Now that is a heartfelt miracle! One I am thankful to embrace. Every. Single. Day.

Batteries Charged!

2011-03-13T16:04:00.000-05:00

I'm full!

I knew I would be following the Hearts at Home conference this past weekend but I'm always amazed when even my own expectations are surpassed. I've been reflecting on all the great information shared by this year's speakers. Jennifer Rothschild encouraged me with her own vulnerabilities, Chonda Pierce reminded me how good it feels to laugh, really laugh, and Hearts at Home founder, Jill Savage inspired me to think more intentionally about the impacts of my parenting on future generations.

Beyond the main sessions, Moms Night Out, and workshops, I made new friends and met up with many I already know and love. Yes, I'm full and so much better for it. The smile on my face perfectly matches the gratitude in my heart for the many blessings I received this weekend.

If finding renewed energy and appreciation as a mom is something you need join us at one of the conferences this fall and make plans to join us at the National Conference next March.

Moms, Don't Miss A Chance To Recharge Your Batteries!

2011-02-02T11:06:00.000-06:00

Perhaps you have a friend, or a group of friends, with whom you always look forward to spending time. You laugh and cry together, eat your favorite foods, talk about life for hours on end, and walk away from the time together feeling better than before you went.

Well, if you're a mom, sometimes those opportunities are a bit harder to come by. With kids activities, time with your significant other, work, home, or perhaps even school, there just doesn't seem enough time for you, let alone time for your friends. I know how you feel. That's why I make certain to include at least one day a year just for me. That day is spent attending the Hearts at Home conference in Bloomington, IL. This year it will be held March 11-12.

Before you stop reading let me dispel a few myths some have regarding the conference.

MYTH #1 - The conference is for stay-at-home moms.

TRUTH - The conference is for moms who work full-time (like me) or part-time outside the home as well as for those who are at home with their families.

MYTH #2 - The conference is for moms with young children.

TRUTH - Hearts at Home is for EVERY mom in EVERY season of motherhood. Whether your kids are infants, toddlers, in grade school, middle school, high school, college or living on their own, this conference is for you! I have a grade schooler at home and a step-son who is married. I get a lot out of the conference that helps me as a mom even though my kids are 18 years apart.

MYTH #3 - Conferences are boring!

TRUTH - Hearts at Home conferences are energizing! At the end of the day I feel renewed. I take away much more than I brought. I make new friends, learn new information and most of all, recognize I'm not alone in this mothering journey!

I know how beneficial it is for me, and for my family, which is why I want to personally invite you to join me this year. I don't want a single mom to miss what will be one of the best conferences yet with Jennifer Rothschild, Chonda Pierce, Jill Savage and more than two dozen brand new workshops! My biggest issue is trying to narrow down my workshop choices. I already can't wait to hear from Wendy Pope, Kendra Smiley, and Connie Johnson!

I want to share one of my favorite days with every mom I know. Come on, you know you want to, but you better hurry up and register before the best value registration ends on Wednesday, February 9. After that registration is $20 more and will not include lunch.

Say yes! Yes for you. Yes for your family. Yes for me! I promise you will not regret it!

Can't wait to see you there!

Longing For Success

2011-01-06T13:38:00.000-06:00

Ever caught yourself wishing you were someone else?

Though I hate to admit it, I have.

I didn’t really want to be the other person; instead, I longed to have my own sense of accomplishment. I looked at their life and wished I was as successful in school, in my career, with my health, in my marriage, or as a parent.

Reality check!

It took me a while to realize a longing to have what someone else has would never bring to fruition those things I most desired. It may however, bring about bitterness, envy and strife.

Yikes!

The truth is, there is not another me. I have been formed, skilled, matured, mentored, given specific responsibilities and placed right where I am for a very specific purpose. So have you. So have they.

When I longed to have what someone else had I was usually looking for a shortcut to get me to where I wanted to be. Or l was looking for an excuse on which to hang my own feelings of inadequacy. Or maybe I was focused on selfish ambitions rather than kingdom gains. Yeah, that last one, that’s probably the closest to the truth.

I’m still learning to focus on these words from Philippians 2:13, “for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.” (NIV)

In other words, I have all I need to do all I’m to do when I rely on God to work within me to accomplish His purposes, not mine.

Today I recognize my job is to lift up those who are succeeding that they may continue to fulfill the purpose God has for them. The more I lift them up, the more overjoyed I am that God is using them in unique ways to reach out to those I was never supposed to reach.

Certainly I have growth opportunities in my life. I want to continue to learn from others how to strengthen my marriage and to be a better parent. I also want to discover ways to help with my desires to be healthier and to use my talents wisely.

Perhaps you’re where I was. Longing for things you don’t yet have. Wishing things in your life were different. Focused on someone else’s successes wishing they were yours.

Would you join me in first accepting all you are. After all, you are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” (Psalm 139:14 NIV) God can and will use you, as you are today. Your purpose is found in today. Embrace it and you!

Then, begin to lift up those in prayer who are "successful” asking for God to continue to bless them for His gain.

Taking these two steps you will begin to find renewed strength for your unique needs and you will see where you are already successful.

What Every Mom Needs

2010-12-26T21:23:00.000-06:00

I woke up this morning thinking about the needs of moms.

Every mom.

Regardless of where she works (inside or outside the home, full or part-time). Despite her marital status. No matter where she lives. Whether the children are adopted, naturally hers, stepchildren, foster children or any child, at any age, she's taken into her home.

A mom is a mom and all moms share the same needs. I bet if you thought about it you would realize that every need you have as a mom is shared by any other mom. I'm only going to highlight a few of them as I near the end of this year of motherhood and prepare for the next.

First, every mom needs rest. For all my mom friends with young children you're probably trying hard to make it through this post! The rest of us are tired too but for different reasons. Some of it is lack of sleep, much of it is too many items on our to-do lists. Without adequate rest we run the risk of low energy from staying up too late accomplishing tasks or stressing over what still needs to be done. We need a break. A real one. Every day. It's amazing what a small break can do for us. How do you take breaks? This is one area I could really learn from others on. I'm horrible at taking time to sit and rest. So please, fill me in on what works best for you.

Every mom needs a sense of purpose. Purpose doesn't come from what you do, it builds from a sense of why you exist. Recognizing your own gifts and talents and putting them to use goes a long way in bringing about a very real need to be valued. One thing I'm really good at is quickly recognizing solutions to problems. This plays out well in my corporate job and volunteer activities but also in my role as a mom. Knowing this is a strength and combining it with other talents has served me well in satisfying my deep desire to make a difference in the lives of others. What about you? How have you embraced your own purpose? Have you discovered it yet? Has it changed and evolved over the years?

Every mom needs a friend (or two). We were never meant to do life alone. We need to include others in our life. Even those of us with husbands or co-workers need friends in our lives. I love spending time with my family but even I know I'm a better wife and mom when I've shared some time with my friends. Time free from responsibilities of being a wife and mom. Someone who I can help along in their own journey and someone who can help me in mine. It's friends I have called on along with family during some of my neediest times and it's investing in friends that has made me realize the beauty of friendships. Mom's groups, churches, schools, and your neighborhood are all great places to find friends if you're lacking them. Do you make time for friends? What's your favorite thing to do with friends? Mine is to sit and talk, for hours. My husband appreciates it when they let me.

Every married mom needs to invest in her marriage. This may seem like a given but this was an eye-opener for me a few years ago. I hadn't realized I was putting my daughter's needs above my husband's. What a mistake that was! Making time for date nights and quiet time for just the two of us hasn't been easy but I grow more dedicated to it with each passing year. How do you make time for your own relationship with your husband? I need to hear your ideas so perhaps I can steal a few of them.

Every mom needs to parent intentionally. I've spent years attending continued education classes for various professions. I never viewed my job as a mom as needing the same thing until I attended my first Hearts at Home conference in 2006 when my daughter was three. It was then I realized how much greater a mom I can be when I have not only a plan for my role as a mom but also tools and information to support my goals. Have you ever attended a conference for moms or parenting classes? I highly recommend it if you haven't. In fact, I'd love for you to join me at one of Hearts at Home's conferences this year.

Every mom needs spiritual guidance. I'm a mom because of God's blessing in granting me the privilege of raising my daughter. The more I grow in my faith the better I'm able to manage the ups and downs that come with parenting. The more I trust the less need I have to worry about my daughter's future. The greater I strive to be more like Christ, the more I realize I'm not perfect but covered by grace--something I need to continually offer to others as well. How's your faith these days? If you need spiritual support I'd be happy to pray for you, just let me know.

There are many other areas where moms have common needs but in keeping with my own desire to maintain balance in my life I'll share one final thought. Every mom needs encouragement. Keep up the great work moms! Your efforts make a tangible difference in this world!

My Friend, Vicky

2010-10-31T18:13:00.000-05:00

Lately my junior high friend, Vicky, has been on my mind. A lot.

You see Vicky and I met when I moved from the suburbs of St. Louis to the “small town” life of central Illinois. I was a freshman, she a seventh grader. We lived a few houses apart, we each were the oldest in our families, and we both hated our hair. Beyond that our lives were very different. She came from what many would consider a "well-to-do" family; she owned horses, wore designer clothes, and, well, you get the picture. My family fell into the low- to mid-income range and the year my family was renting the house near Vicky was the first time I had ever been in a neighborhood with a country club.

Every time I think about Vicky I see her as she was then, a young girl who believed she was awkward, ugly, and unloved. An individual with all the great characteristics of a "best friend" but who was desperate for friendship. Those looking in from the outside only saw her family's financial status. They never saw what was going on inside the home, inside Vicky's heart. But I knew because she often shared her insecurities and fears. I hugged her when her parents told her they were splitting up, I tried my best to encourage her as she moved to Chicago with her mom, far away from the father, home, and horses she loved.

It makes me sad to think about Vicky. During my junior year she died in a tragic plane crash along with her father and two siblings. She left this world never getting to grow into the beautiful woman she most likely would have become with her striking skin tone, beautiful eyes, and yes, even with her wild mane. Whenever I encounter women who view themselves much the same as they did during those awkward early teen years I think about Vicky. I think about the old me.

Much like Vicky I believed I had little value or worth in this world. I felt ugly, unlovable, and largely insecure. I carried the burdens of my past as if I couldn't live without them. I was destined to live my life overwhelmed by my own inadequacies. Unlike Vicky, I could make a choice to think different.

Over time I began to replace the lies of yesterday with the truths of today. I recognized that to feel different I had to first act different. It's been a slow process as I've forced myself to look at the positive qualities I possess, to choose to believe I have much to offer and to look in the mirror and honestly believe I look better than good.

I want how I feel, how I see myself today, to be the way every woman views herself. Loved. Valued. Beautiful. I want to put my arms around every "Vicky" I encounter and love them into loving themselves. Where my arms are inadequate, God's arms are sufficient. Only through His point of view can any one person become whole.

Do you have a "Vicky" complex? Do you need to receive the truths waiting for you? If so I'd love to be able to encourage you today.

Shopping For A New Perspective

2010-09-05T07:00:00.017-05:00

During a recent shopping trip my daughter, Lydia, became exasperated as she tried on several pairs of shoes, none of which fit. She finally cried out, "Shoe stores can be soooo frustrating!" She had in mind a certain look and every time she saw a pair of shoes that came close to what she had envisioned she would get a burst of hope as we searched the stacks of boxes looking for her size. On occasion we would find a box with the correct number and she would get giddy as she wrestled them out of the box, stripped out all the paper stuffed inside, and worked at the various buckles or straps to get them on her feet. Too often though the smile disappeared as disappointment set in when the shoes just didn't work on her feet. She was tiring of the process and I knew exactly how she was feeling.

Life can sometimes be just like that shopping experience.

We get something stuck in our head or heart and begin to seek it out. We start out with high hopes believing we can easily accomplish this new desire. We get excited when things appear to be working out but when all doesn't go as planned our hopes dash right into disappointments. Before we know it we're crying out about how life can be soooo frustrating! Too often we give up, shoving our dreams back into a box, closing the lid and walking away defeated.

I looked at my daughter's face and knew she was resigning to the fact her dream shoes were not going to materialize. I knew it was only the first of many disappointments in life and a lesson we all face but I also realized I could offer another chance at hope.

It took two more stores before we finally found the shoes. Fashionable, comfortable, and age appropriate!

I was as elated as she because this search had helped me to look at my own heart's desires and find renewed strength to persevere. Funny how something as simple as a shoe shopping trip can birth a new perspective.

What about you? Have you felt defeated lately? Don't give up! Instead, join me in hanging tight to our dreams and setting our minds on persevering until they become a reality. Either that or take a determined eight-year-old out shopping.

Exhaustion Doesn’t Even Cover It!

2010-08-05T14:33:00.000-05:00

Worn Out!

Are you a wife or a mom who is tired—mentally, physically, or emotionally? I am a wife and a mom and I have so been there! Too mentally tired to read—email, favorite authors, a magazine article, yes even to want to look at Facebook©! Too emotional to enjoy great moments in life—my husband’s good natured ribbing, my daughter’s laughter, time with friends. Too exhausted to keep up with daily tasks let alone exercise!

I don’t necessarily want to be superwoman but I certainly get caught up in doing. I add one more task to my ever increasing list because it’s something I really want to accomplish. But the worse offense I often find myself engaged in, is giving my family leftovers.

Not the prior day meals, though that happens, okay frequently. No, I’m talking about the lack of depth of available emotional, mental, and physical reserves. I desire to actively listen to my daughter even if she takes for-ev-er to recount a story. I want to happily rub my husband’s back when he needs it rather than grumbling about how tired I am. I want to view the needs around my home as a testament to the blessings I’ve received rather than using them as justification for my emotional outbursts.

Instead I’m empty so I tune out, complain, and overreact.

Time to Refuel

So what is a wife and mother to do?

Fill up.

A tank needs fuel to operate the car; we need our own source of energy to function.

A great way to refuel is to spend time with God. Listening, praying, absorbing. This is very important and I don’t ever want to dismiss it or diminish this precious time. If you aren’t already in this habit I’d love to encourage you toward it.

Beyond this quiet time I would like to challenge you to consider an added path to reload your empty reservoir . . . attend a conference!

“Say what!” You might respond.

I’m telling you, I have attended at least one conference a year for the past four years and the benefits go well beyond me.

Just last weekend I put 1,600 miles on my car to attend She Speaks, a conference designed to encourage writers, speakers and ministry leaders. I found the weekend was exactly what I needed to recharge my rundown batteries. Even my husband, Michael, noticed the difference upon my return remarking, “You seem mentally refreshed after this weekend.” Truth is, I was. I am!

There’s nothing better than commiserating among 600 other women who are seeking to join hands in spreading a common passion. I made lasting connections, gathered tactical insights, and was challenged in deepening my relationship with Christ. I am so completely full I’m spilling out joy on my family, friends, co-workers and even strangers.

Perhaps you’re thinking you can’t afford to attend a conference. Maybe, like me, you work full-time outside the home and feel guilty taking a weekend away from your family.

I understand. In a year where our finances significantly decreased while my workload increased I wondered how on earth I could be so selfish as to plan a weekend away just for me. The reality is my family needs me to take this time even when they don’t want me to go.

Take a New Approach

I’d like to challenge you to find a conference that fits your interests that you will today make the commitment to attend. Besides next year’s She Speaks (which may or may not be your thing) I have a couple of other suggestions.

Top of my list is Hearts At Home. In fact, Hearts came to exist out of the founder, Jill Savage’s, need to replenish her own cup. If you are a mom and have never been I'll say this, you’ll never want to go another year without plugging in at a Hearts event. Your family will love the wife and mom that returns to them year after year. The next event is this fall in Minnesota. Plenty of time to register and prepare!

A second choice would be an event such as Women of Faith or Extraordinary Women. Both are amazing times of soaking in truths and finding encouragement. And because I attended She Speaks this year, I have a unique offer I can share regarding Extraordinary Women. If you’d like to join me at the event in Rockford, IL the weekend of November 5-6, I can bring as many friends as I want at a reduced rate. Contact me or comment below if you’d like more information.

Whether it’s one of these events or something else like it I want to strongly encourage you to set aside your “I can’t’s” and commit to an “I must.” I fully believe this is one of the best decisions you can make for yourself and your family.

Come on, you can do it. I triple dog dare ya!

BOOK REVIEW: Embracing Your Second Calling by Dale Bourke

2010-06-12T20:36:00.000-05:00

Embracing Your Second Calling is based on two of the values I have always believed women ultimately strive towards—feeling valued and leaving a lasting legacy. Author Dale Hanson Bourke found striking similarities between her life and that of Naomi from the book of Ruth in the Old Testament in that they were both "second-half-of-life" women. By that Dale means they were both in unique positions in life to be used by God to "completely change our world." According to Dale, women in this time of their lives view who they are and what they have to offer from a very different filter—God's.

This book is not just for those who are empty-nester’s, perhaps retired, or enjoying mid-life, this book is for every woman who wants to more fully identify what she should be doing. In fact, Dale believes we have more to offer after we tire of chasing our own desires and more fully embrace God’s desires for us. One of my favorite quotes from the book is this, “What He is calling us to will be so much more than anything He is calling us from.”

If you’re wondering how to get less of your dreams and more of His in your life then this book is the means to help get you there. Dale uses stories from her own life, others she’s met along the way and the story of Naomi to help women connect their own lives and the potential God still has in the works.

Can you relate?

2010-04-29T19:25:00.000-05:00

I'm curious.

Is anyone else lost as to what they are "supposed" to be doing? Any of you out there wondering "what's my next step?"

I know I'm not alone. I know I can't possibly be the only person on earth lost in thoughts of what's next? Diligently seeking wisdom, guidance, vision, perspective, understanding.

Honestly, a billboard from God every now and then would be welcome. But I wonder in the fast pace of life, would I even notice it?

We want a shout, He whispers. We want it now, He says just wait. He ushers us into the next phase often without the big "todo." We want grand brush-strokes, he offers gentle prods. We long to know, He says, "Here I Am." We seek, He says "you'll find." We give up . . . just as He says move forward.

There is so much to gain every day in the here and now yet we are so quick to dismiss it. We marvel at how yesterday went by so quickly all while impatiently waiting for tomorrow.

I'm challenging myself to learn to stay content every day. To not need all the answers knowing God is in full control. But I'm nowhere near perfection in this. I catch myself desiring direction--Today! At the core I'm learning its driven by fear. Fear of the unknown, the uncertain, the need to control, the fear of having control.

So how do I get the peace I want in knowing I'll know when I need to know? I get that I need to learn to graciously accept the wait. Boy is it hard!

How about you? Do you understand this struggle? What has helped you to both seek yet wait? Especially if you had no idea what exactly you were waiting for? I'd love to know.

Set Your Sight

2010-04-11T13:29:00.001-05:00

I flew into Chicago recently and was struck by the sight of the sun as the plane rose above the clouds.

There is something comforting in the brightness of that golden star from the vantage point of an airplane window. I turned my head and soaked in the warmth. The pressures of life dissipated if only for a few moments.

I felt renewed in my soul simply because I grasped for a moment the difference between what is seen and what was hidden from view. I grabbed my phone and snapped a photo hoping to remember the moment for days to come.

As the plane dipped below the clouds I was surprised by the stark change. I tried to capture the difference while wrestling with the contrast.

I was saddened for the city’s residents who were awakening to the bleariness of the grey, cloudy sky.

I wanted to shout out to them, “Its okay, the sun is shining up above! Don’t let this dreariness get you down!“ I knew my shouting would be pathetic and not well received. I thought of how often I fail to understand when someone else is painting a picture for me from their own experiences.

The flight that day caused me to realize even more how surroundings impact our mood. How our ability to face the highs and lows head on has as much to do with our character as they do with our viewpoint. I wrestle with my own inadequacies in light of life’s challenges by letting my very limited viewpoint dictate my reaction. It isn’t that I want to walk around with my head in the clouds ignoring what’s going on. Rather, I want to remember always how God has a better view.

I long to cling to what He knows and settle into His foresight. How incredible would life be for all of us if we would keep the “above the clouds” view with its beauty, warmth, and strength rather than our “below the clouds” one?

Today I'm shouting to the world, “It’s okay, the SON is shining up above! Don’t let life’s dreariness get you down!”

Which view will you cling to today? I hope you'll set your sight on things above.

A Much Needed Vacation!

2010-03-24T18:57:00.000-05:00

My family and I just returned from a great mini-vacation in the mountains of Tennessee. Boy did we need it! Why is it we put off taking off? Accepting our frenzied state of day-to-day rather than planning time for refueling and refreshing? I know it’s difficult enough in today’s tough economy to find money in the budget to do the smaller things like attend the movies or eat dinner out but sometimes you just need to get away!

I’d been telling others how much my family needed time away all while fretting over the cost. I sensed what we needed but I let the thought of the cost throw up caution flags at every possibility. It took a while to find something that worked for us but it was well worth it! It meant having to cook some of our own meals, driving not quite as far as we would have liked to go (we were thinking beach) and not being able to do any of the “fun” attractions once we arrived at our destination (museums and such). Rather than focus on what we couldn’t do, we focused on what we could. We soaked in a beautiful mountain view, we lounged in a hot tub, we ate some surprisingly good grilled Angus beef hot dogs, and we laughed and played together.

We found a way on our limited budget to obtain a much needed break. As a result I feel closer to my husband and daughter and I’m less stressed at work. I’ve carried the momentous days in the mountains into my everyday life. If you’re in that place where you need a break I encourage you to make it happen. It doesn’t have to be expensive, over-the-top or all that well planned –we made our first pot of coffee without a filter because we forgot to bring some! But it does have to happen, at least every once in a while. And when you get back I’d love to hear all about it!

Living with Less so your Family has More

2010-03-19T06:00:00.000-05:00

Today I'd like to welcome Jill and Mark Savage. Jill and Mark's newest book Living with Less so your Family has More just released and I've invited them to share a little bit about this great resource!

Tell us a little bit about yourself and your family.

We have been married for 27 years…17 of them happily. After finding ourselves in a marriage counselor’s office around year 8 or so, we realized that we really didn’t know how to be married. We worked hard to turn things around and now we like to share that hope with other couples.

We have five children ranging from 13 to 25. Our oldest three are married. Anne (25) and her husband, Matt, live in Zion, IL, and are expecting our first grandchild in April. (We are very excited!) Evan (22) and his wife, Julie, have been married a year and a half and they live just a few miles from us. Erica (19) married her husband Kendall last September. They live in Augusta, GA, and wherever else the Army takes them.

We have two teenagers still at home. Kolya just turned 16. He’s learning to drive and we’ve nearly worn a hole in the carpet on the floor in the passenger seat trying to find that non-existent brake pedal. Kolya is the newest member of the Savage family. We adopted him at the age of nine from Russia.

Austin is 13 and in the 8th grade. He wants us to make sure and tell the world that this “living with less” life is a real bummer because he’s the ONLY kid in 8th grade who doesn’t have a cell phone.

Tell us about your newest book Living With Less So Your Family Has More?

The world screams the message that bigger is always better, but we have found that is not often true. When it comes to raising a family, less materially can actually result in more relationally. Children don’t need the best houses, the best lessons, the best cars, or the best clothes. What they really need is the best home life and the best family relationships we can give them.

Why did you want to write this book?

We didn’t start out with the “less is more” mindset. We started as a double income family wanting to have the “best” of everything. Then Mark decided to pursue ministry. We went from the “high life” to the “frugal life” very quickly as we moved to another state for him to go to Bible College full-time.

That experience introduced us to the concept that less is more. We definitely had less money, but we had more time. We had less stress and more peace. We had less activities and more fun.

Since that experience, we’ve continued to live primarily on one income for the past twenty years. We’ve had to battle cultural peer pressure and make different decisions for our family than many other families in our neighborhood have made. But we’ve never felt that we were materially depriving ourselves or our kids…instead we’ve focused on what we’ve actually been able to provide for them emotionally and relationally.

What do you hope your readers will gain from this book?

We hope the reader is encouraged to evaluate how they are living their life, spending their money, and thinking about family matters. Our goal is to introduce families to the “less is more” concept and then equip them with the attitudes and actions to actually make that happen.

For families that are already committed to less is more, we hope to bolster their resolve and help them stay focused on the long-term goal of providing relationally for their kids.

In today’s economy, there are many families being forced to live with less. We want to help them see the opportunity they have with this unexpected downsizing they’ve been forced to do.

And for those who have just been a little discontent with their life and saying things like, “I’m tired of the rat race of life,” or “Is there more to life than drive-thru meals for dinner?” we hope to help them see other choices they have and how they can lead their family in a different direction.

What unique elements will the reader find in Living With Less So Your Family Has More?

For couples who want to read the book together, we’ve included discussion questions at the end of every chapter. This helps move the readers to discussion and eventually actions. Even a single parent can use the discussion questions for personal evaluation.

Readers will find this book a practical guide to changing your attitude and your actions to live a successful “less is more” life. They’ll find our writing style to be a warm, casual, honest discussion where we not only share our victories but our mistakes along the way. We are an average couple living successfully on an average income who want to help others to see the possibilities before them.

This is a Hearts at Home book. What is Hearts at Home?

Hearts at Home is an organization that encourages, educates, and equips women in the profession of motherhood. Hearts at Home encourages moms through annual conferences, our extensive website (www.hearts-at-home.org), a free electronic newsletter, a radio program, and an entire line of books designed to meet the needs of moms all over the world!

Any closing thoughts?

It’s healthy for parents to occasionally pause and evaluate their vision for their family and the choices they are making. We hope this resource will help them do that together and that it will lead them to live a life of little regret.

My Favorite Time Each Year - Hearts At Home Conference for Moms!

2010-03-08T20:46:00.001-06:00

Mom, do you know how valuable you are?

Do you want to be inspired and encouraged?

Are you in need of refreshment or rejuvenation?

Do you want to laugh?

A Hearts at Home conference gives moms the unique opportunity to pause along their mothering journey to refresh, refocus, and renew themselves. The 2010 National Conference, Mom’s the Word, is being held at the Bone Student Center of Illinois State University in Normal, Illinois on March 12-13.

See what others are saying about a Hearts at Home conference:

“I attended the conference this year for the first time. I enjoyed it immensely. I was lifted up, instructed, convicted, encouraged, and brought to tears, sometimes all at the same time.”

“I loved it. I feel so full of information. I need to sit and read my notes and just process it. It was really encouraging to hear all the speakers and be with all of those moms. Thanks so much! “

“This past weekend was awesome and life changing. This was my first Hearts at Home Conference and I am telling everyone about it. “

“I want to thank you all for keeping these conferences going each year and for making them so refreshing for women at various stages in their parenting.”

Hearts at Home wants all mothers to know how valuable they are! Check out this video for a small dose of encouragement from Nicole Johnson and be sure to join us March 12th-13th for more!

Featured guests include Nicole Johnson, author & motivational speaker, a favorite at Women of Faith, Jill Savage, author, international speaker, CEO & founder of Hearts at Home, and Christy Nockles, Dove Award nominee & formerly of Watermark.

Visit www.hearts-at-home.org for more information.

Growing Grateful Kids

2010-03-05T06:00:00.000-06:00

Today I'd like to welcome author and speaker Susie Larson. Susie's new book Growing Grateful Kids has just released and I've invited her to share a little bit about this great resource. I can't wait to pick up my own copy and see Susie at this year's Hearts at Home National Conference for moms! It's not too late for you to join me.

Tell us a little bit about yourself and your family.

My husband and I have been married 25 years and have three grown sons (all in their early twenties). Our oldest son Jake works on the business side of the Christian music industry. Our middle son Luke is married to his beautiful wife Kristen; he works full time at a bank and part time as a worship pastor. Our youngest son Jordan is studying to become a surgical nurse. My husband Kevin is a commercial construction manager by day and manages my ministry by night (and weekends). Bless his heart. I am an author, speaker, and an on-call radio host for Christian talk radio. Together, Kevin and I serve as advocates for justice on behalf of modern day slaves and human trafficking victims.

Tell us about your new book, Growing Grateful Kids: Teaching Them to Appreciate an Extraordinary God in Ordinary Places.
Even when economic times are tight, our children enjoy an abundance of material possessions. Yet, amidst all this wealth, discontentment and competition seem to be on the rise. Instead of teaching children virtues such as gratefulness and patience, many parents are bending over backwards to get their children the latest and greatest item - or feeling guilty when they can't. In spite of the currents of materialism and entitlement that flow so strong, it is possible to raise children who are simply grateful. Though teaching perspective and gratitude to our children is critical, it is not difficult.

Why did you want to write this book?

To be completely honest, I never wanted to write a book on parenting. I wanted to protect my kids’ privacy and give them time and space to become the men God wants them to be. But in the last few years, I have been especially burdened with the level of selfishness, entitlement and disrespect I see among children today. Furthermore, moms seem more stressed than ever. When I asked my sons their thoughts on writing this book, without pausing they all said, “Do it, mom; that book needs to be written!” I think I wrote a book that not only equips young moms to raise humble, grateful world-changers, but also one that nourishes the soul of the reader and encourages her personally.

Throughout the book you remind the reader that we cannot impart what we do not possess. Can you explain?

If we never deal with our own fears, insecurities, and hang ups, but we try to teach our children to believe in their divine value, over time, our words will not ring true to them. First God wants to do His work in us before He does it through us. They say that lessons are more often caught than taught. If we parent from a place of conviction and real freedom, our children will be affected by what we teach them.

One of your chapters is titled, “Take Time to Play.” How does taking time to play teach our kids to be grateful?

To me, taking time to play says a lot about the level of faith we possess.

If our children hear us confess that we love and serve a BIG God and yet they see us striving and straining through life, they will come to believe that more is on our shoulders than on God’s. If we can trust God enough to step away from our busy-important lives, to make a fort in the basement, or play a game with our children –- even in the most desperate of economic situations –- we will give our children a sense of much needed security and that all is well in their world.

What do you want readers to take away from this book?

To answer this question (I hope you don’t mind), I would like to share an endorsement from one of my sample readers. She expressed my deepest desire for my reader:

“Growing Grateful Kids is such a great source of conviction, encouragement, and inspiration to spur me on to finishing this parenting race well and not sputter out along the way. This book compels me to submit my own character to the refining of the Holy Spirit that I may be equipped to impart those lessons onto my children. Thank you, Susie, for taking the time, for submitting in obedience, and writing this down for a generation in desperate need of this kind of parenting book!” –Gail Miller

This is a Hearts at Home book. What is Hearts at Home?
Hearts at Home is an organization that encourages, educates, and equips women in the profession of motherhood. Hearts at Home encourages moms through annual conferences, our extensive website (www.hearts-at-home.org), a free bi-weekly electronic newsletter, a radio program, and an entire line of books designed to meet the needs of moms all over the world!

Any closing thoughts?

I am very excited about the message in this book. It is my prayer that every one who reads it will be nourished, encouraged, and equipped to parent from a place of fullness, conviction, and confidence. Raising grateful, confident kids will be one of the most heroic, important things you do in your lifetime. God’s blessings to you!

A Gift, Not A Given

2010-02-28T06:00:00.001-06:00

Sometime shortly before Christmas a local jeweler put up a new billboard. It wasn't the diamonds that caught my eye, it was the message, "Because she's a gift, not a given."

Now that's something I need to apply! No, not as an excuse to purchase extravagant gifts; rather to remind me how precious each family member and friend is to me. To help me keep perspective when I'm grumbling over daily tasks. And to grow in deep appreciation for the gracious gifts given to me.

Will you join me today in appreciating our very special gifts, our family and our friends. They certainly are not a given!