Does Julie look any different to you in this photo? If you look closely, you'll see a tiny sparkling earring in each earlobe! Yes, today was the day, after a long wait for soccer season to end (yesterday). Off we went to Claire's, and it was all done in a matter of minutes. She was very brave and proud.

Tonight Steph and Pete both slept at friends' houses, and Julie goes to bed very early, so Andy and I got to revisit our beloved old habit of making a grownup dinner and watching a grownup movie. We made our favorite duck and parsnip stew and then watched "Desperado." The DVD said that "El Mariachi" was on Side A, but it seemed to be all a Robert Rodriguez director's cut thingy, so we flipped it and watched "Desperado." Andy thought it seemed familiar, but it turns out that we had already seen "Once Upon a Time in Mexico," which features the same Antonio Banderas character (vigilante mariachi dude). This one had some excellent cartoon-style gratuitous violence (à la Tarantino) but was otherwise laughably dumb and predictable. We will try to watch "El Mariachi" next; apparently we didn't fast-forward far enough. In any event, it was a pleasure to once again open a bottle of wine, eat food that our kids don't like, and watch an inappropriate movie. Just like the old days.

(Update 11/22/09: Tried again this morning, but still could not find "El Mariachi" on this disc, aside from the muted version with Rodriguez narrating. Bummer! That was supposed to be the best of the three.)

I've been a whirlwind this week. Highlights:

I've been working well into the wee hours almost every night, but I will indeed make my deadline tomorrow, even with a reasonable bedtime tonight.

I finally got the enclosures (driving and parking directions) printed up for Steph's Bat Mitzvah invitations. The Staples copy center person was really helpful, and I couldn't believe how cheap it was. The next step is to bring a fully loaded sample (envelope containing invitation, reply card and stamped envelope, and enclosure) to the post office to be weighed, then buy some pretty stamps.

Because I'm having "only" 17 people for Thanksgiving this year (instead of the previous high of 26), I decided to make only one turkey and also one whole breast. I've never done that before (thanks to Amy for the suggestion!), but it makes sense. So those are ordered, and I'm planning to buy all the non-perishable items tomorrow.

In the meantime, Andy was in New York on Monday and Tuesday and came home sick. He stayed home from work yesterday and today. Steph came home early from school Monday sick, stayed home Tuesday, and went in late Wednesday.

Then there was all the usual carpooling and other driving back-and-forth-ness, including going everywhere in search of a black skirt for Steph's chorus concert next week (so far: no dice)

Did I mention laundry? shopping? cleaning? cooking? 2 shifts at the school library? It's no wonder I forgot to shower one day and neglected to eat lunch the next.

1. 17 Things Worth Knowing About Your Cat

2. iPhone + children's book = clever

3. My alma mater is doing some cool work with a local prison. (via Elena)

4. I get a good daily chuckle over at Autocomplete Me.

5. Check out BobDylanSays on Twitter: "Every Bob Dylan song line-by-line. 1 line/hr until all have been tweeted. After each song, BobDylanSays-bot chooses next one at random." (via Nancy)

Remember Pete's tooth that wouldn't fall out? I was supposed to make an appointment with the dentist last week so she could yank it, but I was busy, and he didn't want to go, and I couldn't bear to pay for such a thing, and it seemed to be getting looser.... Finally this morning I couldn't stand it anymore. Yes, we resorted to the Starburst technique. Pete put a cherry Starburst in his mouth, bit down, and out came the tooth. Took about 1/3 of a second. By the time he got home from school, the permanent tooth was almost completely in its place instead of off to the side as it had been.

Nice photo, huh? I call it "Still Life with Pete's Tooth Embedded in Cherry Starburst." Someone on Twitter suggested that I make a pendant out of it.

I think that some people imagine editors to be frustrated writers—and I suppose that may occasionally be the case. I have known wannabe writers who pay the bills by doing editorial work until that first novel is accepted, but I suspect that most of them are much better at one or the other. (Yes, I'm sure that exceptions abound; I'm just describing what I've seen over the years.)

Me, I'm an editor. Sure, I can express myself in writing, but I don't think I have what it takes to write a whole book or even a long article. What I love to do is what I'm good at: editing what someone else wrote. And that works out well for the most part, because a good writer knows that s/he needs a good editor, so everyone's happy.

I mentioned a while back that I had signed on with a company that helps people self-publish their books. I wanted to try my hand at fiction editing, both just to see what it was like and also to add something new to my resume. Most of the novels I've edited for this company have been just awful. Really, it was painfully obvious why these authors chose the self-publishing route. But there have been a few that had some merit—I remember a young adult novel in particular that was very clever and held my interest right up until the end.

Most recently I did a collection of intertwined short stories. The subject matter was most definitely not my cup of tea—serial murder and every kind of sociopathic behavior you can imagine that would go along with it—but it was extremely well written. Even as my stomach was lurching at some of the descriptions, I was still impressed by the author's style and use of language. I tightened it up a bit here and there, made a few suggestions, and sent it back. For this company I have no direct contact with the authors, but I write a memo that the client sends along with the edited manuscript. 

The client wrote back to tell me that the author was really pleased with my work. He said, "Please pass on to Karen my thanks for such a meticulous job on the manuscript. She’s been able to highlight perfectly the difference between what I once thought was polished and what actually is. The edit has taught me a lot."

And that, my friends, is what I do. He writes way better than I ever could, but I'm the closer.

I'm trying not to let this become The Bat Mitzvah Planning (and Freak-Out) Blog, but it's about me, so for the next couple of months it's also going to be about Steph's Bat Mitzvah. What hadn't occurred to me, however, until Tonya posted a recent comment, is that some (many? most?) of my readers might not know much about the Bar/Bat Mitzvah tradition at all. Me, I grew up in a town and now live in a city with a large enough Jewish population that there's no public school on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. When I was at Wesleyan, the student population was around 40% Jewish. So, I've always been surrounded by Jews and often forget that this is not the case for the majority of the country—and world.

What follows is a very brief outline of what it means to become a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Some of this is not accurate for Orthodox congregations, where, for instance, women are not permitted to read from the Torah, but I was brought up Conservative and now belong to a Reform synagogue, so this is how I see it.

The Bar ("son") or Bat ("daughter") Mitzvah is a person for whom the commandments apply—that is, one who has achieved majority age in the eyes of the Jewish congregation. That is generally considered to be age 13 (although some use 13 for boys and 12 for girls), and that's why most invitations ask you to celebrate with the family as the child becomes a Bar/Bat Mitzvah—the child has become one who can take responsibility for his/her actions. The ceremony itself is not a coming-of-age ritual; rather, it is just the first time that the child is allowed to participate as an adult. The child becomes a Bar/Bat Mitzvah regardless of whether there is a ceremony or not—it's a function of age. Up until that point, Jewish children are not expected to obey the 613 laws of the Torah.

So, yes, it's a big deal. However, what's become a really big deal is the party after the services. This, in my opinion, has gotten way out of control. It is, after all, just for a kid. Yes, it's an occasion to celebrate; no, it's not a wedding. I have heard of Bar/Bat Mitzvahs that cost upward of $100,000—yes, you read that right!—and had hundreds of guests. Oy. We will not be going that route, although it will certainly be a little fancier than beer and pizza in front of a big-screen TV.

Tonya wanted to know whether Steph was excited about the upcoming event. Yes, she is. She still has quite a bit of practicing ahead of her, but the reward will be a great party with lots of her friends and a DJ playing dance music I've never heard of! She also has to write a speech about what her Torah portion means to her, and then Andy and I have to write a speech about what she means to us, so I expect a major sob-fest by the time it's all over with.

And then you won't have to hear any more about it—until I start planning Pete's for June 2012, that is.

This morning I woke up at about 5:30, rolled around for an hour or two, and then managed to fall back to sleep until 9:00. That was a major treat for me!

As usual for Saturdays in Boston this fall, it was pouring rain, so that meant that soccer was canceled for Pete and Julie. Pete will have a makeup game tomorrow; Julie's season has been extended one week because of all the rain. 

We had been planning to go to temple this morning, because the rabbi has repeatedly urged us to go as often as possible before Steph's Bat Mitzvah to get a better sense of what goes on. I had a ton of work to do—I have two, count 'em, two—deadlines on Monday—so Andy and Steph went themselves. It's a very different experience to go and be paying attention to what happens when, and who goes where and does what. I hope to go at least once or twice before our big day in February.

When they got home, we zipped down the street to the Windsor Club, which is where Steph's reception will be, and where our caterer was doing an afternoon party today. We hadn't met her yet, and we're always eager to see how people have decorated that old and rather boring room. It's a good-size room with a very high ceiling but little else of interest to it. We popped in a few weeks ago and saw it done up with lots of white and silver and a very elegant feel. This time they had brightly colored tablecloths and balloons, for more of a fun and festive approach. Our caterer has done hundreds of parties there over the years and has tons of ideas about how to make it interesting without letting the tail wag the dog. She knows that I am not interested in throwing "the party of the century" for a 13-year-old (nor do I have the budget for it), but she also wants to help us make it feel special. It's fun to see the many options. I'm really looking forward to choosing the menu—that, at least, is something I care deeply about!