Pondering Desire

Other Blogs

noreply@blogger.com (Pondering) — Sat, 21 May 2011 03:33:00 +0000

Tumblr is awesome. Not only is it quick and easy but because you end up following other Tumblr blogs you like it is like a constant and infinite stream of pictures picked out just for you. All you have to do is scroll.

The downside ob Tumblr is that it is not great for long written entries. More often than not it gets missed in the stream of hot pictures. That is why I also follow Blogger blogs. Even had one of my own at one point that I may start again someday.

I’m obviously into the whole cuckold/hotwife/femdom world and I really enjoy reading how other real couples enjoy and explore the lifestyle. One of my old favorites is Hotwifing Exposed by Ben and Annabel I would highly suggest reading it.

Another I came across more recently and with much more of a cuckold/femdom/sissy slant is All Mine. I great account of the life of three people Suzzane the dom, sissy tammy her husband, and their lover Jay and how their relationships have evolved over time.

For an interesting twist on the cuckolding femdom life I would suggest reading Bi and Large. A woman that dominates and cuckolds her husband with a woman. She recounts her struggles coming to terms with not only being bi but also trying to balance being a dom and a sub at the same time.

Of course Blogger isn’t the only place that has hot stories by real couples there also a few people I follow on forms that are prolific posters. The one that I have been returning to for a while is SoonToBe a cuckold couple that has told their story from the very start through to their experiences with three different lovers on the Cuckolds.com forums.

If anyone has cuckold, hotwife, or femdom blogs by real couples that they follow and enjoy please do share. I really like when the blog is written by both members of the couple, as the different perspectives given is great at understanding the emotions they go through on their journey, but it is not necessary. As long as the blog seems realistic and relates the emotions that the couple goes though during their experiences then that is enough for me. Oh, and bonus points if they recount how they started into the lifestyle.

Thanks in advance. :)

Calling all Lifestyle Blogs!

noreply@blogger.com (Pondering) — Thu, 23 Sep 2010 20:53:00 +0000

Hello everyone, as you may have noted in my last entry I am on Tumblr now and it is great (think a mix between Blogger and Twitter). The only problem is there is a lack of lifestyle blogs. So, if you are swingers, hotwives, cuckolds, dominatrixes or anything in between and you are on Tumblr then give us your link. If not then why don't you join? I'm sure you will find something you like on there.

http://ponderingdesire.tumblr.com

19 and Moving

noreply@blogger.com (Pondering) — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 03:51:00 +0000

PONDERING:
After getting all those old posts out of the way I had all this ambition to start blogging regularly again. I was going to write all about a discussion Desire and I had about our sexuality, how we both felt it had progressed over the last few years and where we each saw it going. I started a post, left it in draft, and there it just sat, for weeks.

So, lately I have been feeling that this blog no longer suits how I want to share and contribute to the exploration of sexuality online. I am no longer really motivated to write long posts, and while I had hoped Desire would post here as well she was never as in to it as I was. While that is totally fine and her choice now that I have lost steam the blog has really languished.

I have found most of what I have been doing lately is sharing links and pictures anyway and Twitter and Tumbler suit that much better. So from now on I will just be putting things on Tumblr or Twitter.

Thanks for following so far and hope you continue to follow us to Tumblr,
Pondering + Desire

PS. Just wanted to share one thing that did come out of our conversation was the idea that each month we would take turns sharing something that we found most sexually exiting from the internet that month. Thus, I don't inundate Desire with links all the time and she gets to explore her sexuality online a bit more. It just so happens we chose to start doing this on the 19th of the month and has hence forth been know as "our 19".

Links:
Once again our new Tumblr blog.
And out Twitter account.

Formspring and a Domcom?

noreply@blogger.com (Pondering) — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 08:41:00 +0000

I wonder if we should set up a Form Spring like Voluptuous Val has? Anyone what do ask us anything?
VoluptousVal's Formspring

Check out this cool comic by a dominatrix in LA:
Nicbuxom's Comic

I think I'm back

noreply@blogger.com (Pondering) — Sun, 23 May 2010 11:49:00 +0000

PONDERING:
Ok so I have just pumped out a bunch of posts that have been sitting in my draft section for about 10 months. Sorry about that but it has been a very busy year. When I thought about writing in this blog I would either just jot down a few links and notes or just not bother because there were so many drafts I had then I felt I had to finish but didn't really feel like finishing. Well today I finally got around to it and instead of just deleting the old drafts I have just quickly banged them out as there were a few good links in there. So sorry if they were not as thoughtful as other posts but there you have it. I think I will move away from my old format of keeping a bunch of posts in drafts because it takes away from the spontaneity and I have to try to remember the headspace I was in at the time that I started the post, and trying to recreate it. Not always fun. So from now on I am going to keep a draft of links, posting shorter entries but hopefully more frequent then 10 months apart. :)

Blogs

noreply@blogger.com (Pondering) — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 09:45:00 +0000

PONDERING:
I just wanted to share a few blogs that I have discovered. While I have not had the time to read through them the bits and pieces I haver read have been quite interesting.

The first one is The Edge of Vanilla and it is a blog that not only, right up my ally, subject wise but also quite cute and funny at times. For example they had posted about the Ashley Madison site (the site that facilitates people wanting to have an affair) and how they have the second highest number of women signing up the day after mothers day. On this site they also blogged about the ridiculousness that is the mainstream media. How a Lane Bryant tried to air an ad on TV that was basically rejected because the model wasn't stick thin.

Let me say this now. A LOT OF MEN LIKE WOMEN WITH CURVES! Which brings me to my next two blogs.

I don't even think I was looking for porn when I cam across April Flores. I happened across an article about her for Bizarre magazine (of which she was on the cover). She is a famous adult movie star that also happens to be plus sized and very outspoken about loving her curves. I always think it is fantastic when voluptuous women can really embrace their curves and sexuality when so much media in this society say they shouldn't. Hopefully her openness and enjoyment of sexuality will be an inspiration to many women. You can check out her blog here.

Finally I came across a blog with the following description:
The writings of a PhD student, Excessive Ponderer, Bibliophile, Culture-Obsessed, Feminist, who is also an Activist.
I haven't had a chance to read it but my interest is piqued.

Insatiable Wives Book

noreply@blogger.com (Pondering) — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 14:08:00 +0000

PONDERING:
I came across this blog via Mrs. Emma Kelly's blog ... I think. Anyway it is a blog for a book all about the hotwife/cuckold lifestyle written by a clinical psychologist! It is called Insatiable Wives, Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them and I think I will have to pick it up sometime as it would be an interesting read. I'm sure a lot of it I will have read before but the fact that it is written by a psychologist and outsider might give it a unique perspective. Don't know if Desire would read the book as she is not big on reading non-fiction but who knows. Have any of you read it? If so what did you think?

Pondering's List

noreply@blogger.com (Pondering) — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 04:47:00 +0000

PONDERING:
So I have FINALLY gotten around to finishing my list. It is might be quite tame for some of you but you have to remember we are a real couple and we are just starting out on this adventure. Here is the list in no particular order:

Write a post on this blog.
Find a cuckolding/hotwifing story she likes online and show it to me telling me which parts she likes.
Chatting to people online about cuckolding and hotwifing.
Finding porn pictures that she finds hot.
Going out without underwear, maybe "accidentally" flashing.
Anal
Queening
Swallow
Taking one of the toys
Flirting with a guy at a bar
Dirty dancing with a guy or guys at a bar
Flashing
Nude Beach
Voyeur Swinger Club

Now Desire's turn? We will see.

Queening

noreply@blogger.com (Pondering) — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 08:31:00 +0000

PONDERING:
I've heard of queening before and I quite like the idea. I would enjoy it if Desire would on a day to day basis command me to service her needs with my mouth as she ether just enjoyed the sensation by itself or enjoyed it while doing other things. A queening throne would be great for this but I suppose a regular stool would do the trick too.

I found a couple of interesting sites about queening providing a bit of 'history' about queening. I'm not sure how accurate the 'history' is but it doesn't really matter it is a good read anyway. If any of our readers are historians and can verify these accounts I would be interested to hear about it.

I too like this person j2blynn on cuckolds.com find the thought of eating out my wife's cream pie highly arousing, be it my own cum or a lovers. The problem is like j2blynn as soon as I cum I lose my nerve. Someday I will just go for it (or perhaps Desire will make me). I'm sure we could both get a lot of milage out of it.

Back into the full Swing or Cuck of things

noreply@blogger.com (Pondering) — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 08:16:00 +0000

PONDERING:
Well after my little crisis of identity I now have fallen back into full cuck mode. I mean still do find other women very attractive and Desire knows this, I'm sure she will find a fun way to use this to her advantage during out play from time to time. In fact Desire has me back on probation (see: not being aloud to play with myself) and I'm loving it! I am once again completely obsessed with cuckolding and the fantasy of Desire cuckolding me. So for now this blog continues on its original path.

Less of a Sub and more of a Swinger?

noreply@blogger.com (Pondering) — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 08:12:00 +0000

PONDERING:
So as I mentioned in an earlier post Desire and I took a quick break from the Hotwife fantasy at the start of the summer. While the break was short I still felt that my desires (no not multiple Desires although that would be awesome!) had moved from the extreme Cuckold fantasies to that of a more of the "normal" guy swinging fantasies. This was partly due to feeling a little low, having just finished Mrs. Kelly and Scott's blog which is an excellent blog but from my current view an extreme cuckold lifestyle, and also there being a lot of skin out. What was that you asked? What do I mean by skin? Well dear readers it was summer and everyone was shedding their winter clothes and enjoying the hot sun. And those of you that have read this blog know the type of women I really find attractive and in the country I live in they are everywhere. Lots and lots of eye candy.

"But Pondering" you say "aren't you a confirmed cuckold? Or in the very least a Hotwife husband?" Yes readers I am and even as I found myself thinking that I could only be a swinger or nothing when it came to alternative lifestyles I still found the idea of Desire with other men very arousing. The thing is I have a very strong sense of right and wrong and of equality. This was causing me a little bit of conflict as I was exploring my own cuckolding fantasies. On one hand I found the extreme ideas of cuckolding and denial very very hot on the other had I saw all this bountiful flesh and couldn't help wonder if I would not become resentful for not being able to share the same freedoms myself if I really were in those situations.

Now Desire is aware that I look at women and not only is she extremely good at being able to pick out the ones I find attractive but she is getting really good at also giving me a knowing smile when she catches my eye wondering, hell more often then not she points them out to me! No, there are a lot of very attractive women in the world and I would be lying if I said I did not think of them in a sexual way but none of them even come close to holding a candle to my dear wife Desire. She knows me and loves me to my deepest core and I do of her as well, that along with her slamming body makes me want to never ever lose her.

Aside:
Even if one day Desire said "Hay Pondering I'm giving you permission to do so and so." I don't know if I could really do it. I would like to say I'm a super stud (I really would) but when it comes down to it I wonder if I would be just too worried about hurting Desire to even get an erection. Who knows reality and fantasy are divided by a wide casam.

Pre-Cuckolding and Domspace

noreply@blogger.com (Pondering) — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 04:02:00 +0000

PONDERING:
I just came across some interesting form threads on Chastity Mansion that I wanted to quickly share (don't worry my 'summer journey' posts are still in the works).

The first thread I found I thought was really interesting and I think it is a great thread for cuckold-wannabe's to read. The original poster recounts some very interesting and innovative play that him and his partner have come up with, she doesn't actually cuckold him yet but they have stuck their toes in the water in a real (ie. non-fantasy) way. I am going to ask Desire to read it sometime as it might give her some ideas too. I think men who are into a lot of the stuff I find interesting (or maybe just men in general) tend to want too much too fast because more often than not they spend so much time fantasizing about it before they have the courage to tell their partners about it. When they finally tell their partners about it they just want to get to their dirtiest fantasy as quickly as possible forgetting that it can very easily be overwhelming the first time and things like emotional effects can forgotten in the pursuit of that goal. I think spiraled1 and his 'Cuckoldress' from Chastity Mansion have come up with some first steps into the lifestyle.

The other link I wanted to quickly share is also from Chastity Mansion and it is about Domspace. Like the original poster poster I have heard of subspace many times before but until this thread I had never heard of Domspace. For those that don't know subspace is a feeling that a lot of subs feel during a BDSM type session, where the sub feels almost a sense of peace or bliss. It is very interesting to hear it described from the other (Dom) side.

For the Ladies ...

noreply@blogger.com (Pondering) — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 15:20:00 +0000

PONDERING:
A Treat? :)

Thought you might like that, I know Desire would. :) Found it in a thread at: Slut Theater Interracial Pictures And Videos.

When We Grow Up ...

noreply@blogger.com (Pondering) — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 03:53:00 +0000

PONDERING:
When we "grow up" I want Desire and I to be like and Scott Mrs. Kelly ... well some times. Other times I can't imagine living life like they do as it seems too extreme even for me, as a 24/7/365 Femdom relationship (not to mention the water sports which is not something I eroticize nor does Desire). That want and fear of their lifestyle is very much how this fantasy seems to go for me and perhaps for many others as well. It is an excellent blog and I would highly recommend reading it though. It is a long blog so it will probably take you a while to get through it, something to read next time we haven't posted in a while perhaps? :)

One real life event they Mrs. Kelly recounted really stands out to me as I experienced a roller coaster ride while reading it. Mrs. Kelly writes about her experience in going to a sex club, not with Scott her cuckold husband but with one of her lovers. Scott not even there to watch but locked up in chastity at home. The story was recounted truthfully and realistically as usual (not everything goes to plan) making it even hotter as a result. The scenes she describes are highly erotic, her having hot sex with her better and better endowed lover, but also with people she has just met at the club. She acted like ... well a ... ravenous slut, and it was great! A women enjoying hot fucking for the sake of hot fucking while not compromising herself in anyway in the process!

Then my mind went drifting to Scott her husband. At home in a chastity belt left with just his imagination of what she was doing and his cock trying its best to get hard in it's cage. Very hot! ... but also in reality ... I would want to share that experience at the sex club with Desire if it were us! I would like to see a sex club with Desire, even if it was just to watch and have a shared experience and memory we can both enjoy. Talking to and reassuring each other about things we found erotic or just interesting. I would want to be there with her and I can't imagine how Mrs. Kelly who says she loves Scott dearly would leave him at home and not want to share the new experience with him! But that is me, I find the fantasy hot but I don't know if I could deal with that much denial, I don't know if I'm sub enough. That being said they have been doing it for real and for a very long time, they know what they can each handle. Who knows I might be able to handle it one day and the depths of my submissiveness might surprise me and I do find it to be a really really hot fantasy, but right now even as a fantasy I found myself with conflicted emotions. Desire and I would need a lot more experience before we ever got there, and that's if we ever decide that is where we want to go.

While taking this roller coaster ride of excitement and emotion I was very comforted to read the last paragraph that Mrs. Kelly wrote in her story:

"Suddenly, I was overwhelmed by emotion. The me that had been standing off to the side watching things rejoined the other me. All the emotion that was absent from the sex club was coming to me at that moment. I came more intensely than I had all night. The club had been great. But as usual for me, coming home was even better."

She really does love Scott very much. I knew that from reading their earlier posts but my own empathetic insecurities got in the way. It is funny how that can happen while reading a story. :)

Mrs. Kelly's Happening Bar Story:
Part 1 - Domming Myself
Part 2 - Play by Play
Part 3 - Princess Cum Slut
Part 4 - The Afterglow

Time Off

noreply@blogger.com (Pondering) — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 01:14:00 +0000

PONDERING:
Desire and I have always tried our best to make communication a priority in our relationship. There were a few missteps at the start of our relationship (especially by me) but we both made sure to keep working on it over the years because we know how important it is. As we do work on it our communication just gets better and better and as a result so does our relationship. When I told Desire about my Hotwife fantasies and we talked about it she made me promise that if I was ever uncomfortable with anything that I would let her know, of course I made her promise the same.

So, the start of this summer I was just feeling a little low, not sure why, could have been the long winter or just a combination of "regular life" stuff but I just needed a break from the cuckold/hotwife fantasy, and so I let Desire know as much. I can understand why some guys who are in to this fantasy are reluctant to tell there wives when they need a break and need some reassurance (with disastrous consequences). So, much of the beginning when introducing the fantasy can be trying to make your wife understand it and why you would enjoy it as the cuckold (or hotwife husband). After finally getting them to come around there is a fear of taking steps backwards or losing the fun of the fantasy all together by admitting that you need a break. Telling Desire about my fantasy in the beginning was not really that hard as she is so open minded but even I did have a little twinge that me asking for a break would make her too scared to start up again when I was feeling better; of course I did know really that it wasn't the case. She was of course super understanding and gave me all the support and reassurance I could have ever wanted. In the end she said it was totally up to me if or when I wanted to start up the hotwife/cuckold fantasy play again. It took about a week or so before I was back into it again but having that love and reassurance is such a nice thing. I never really doubted it but it is alway nice to hear it out loud for real when you need it the most. Good communication seems very common in lifestyle relationships I guess out of necessity, it is not always easy but the benefits as soooo worth it in all aspects of the relationship.

More one what happened on our blogging hiatus to follow ...

Locked in Love ... or Lust

noreply@blogger.com (Pondering) — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 18:37:00 +0000

PONDERING:
I will try to write a longer a post soon but I just wanted to share this image I came across that did something for me and is telling of where my mind and fantasies are of late. It is an image from CuckoldSpace of MM and Tmann:

Also, as a result of my current curiosity I came across this interesting forum: ChastityMansion

What makes my new (or slightly resurgent) interest in male chastity more interesting is how this summer has progressed for me. I will write more on that later. For now I will leave you with my current sex toy wish list: :)
CB-6000
Bandit
Outlaw
Aslan Cherry Jaguar Jock

A Fun Game

noreply@blogger.com (Pondering) — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 01:42:00 +0000

PONDERING:
Just a quick post. One of the blog entries that came up in my feed reader today was from My Sexy Hotwife. They had put up a few videos and one of them I had to re-post here because the couple in it were playing what looked like to be a very fun game.

The game is described as follows:
"Inspired by a friend from another site. The Game as it's called, is simple, can the guy last a minute with the female riding doing her best to make him cum? There are a few rules, like no sex for the guy for 48 hours prior, he can do nothing to change what the woman is doing while riding, and eye contact must be maintained at all times. This was our first time attempt at trying The Game."

Queen System

noreply@blogger.com (Pondering) — Wed, 20 May 2009 16:09:00 +0000

PONDERING:
I'm a little late on this one but I've come across this blog entry on the Queen of Spades temporary tattoos that Hotwives or swinging women where to signify that they are only interested in having sex with black men. This was started by a swinging couple in Colorado, Greg and Sheryl, and it seems to have taken off in the interracial swinging community.

A few months ago though Mandy of 'Mandy's Erotic Life' blogged about an extension to this system. This system she found and documented is called the Queen System and it is as follows according to her entry:

Queen of Hearts - This signifies an interest in a single guy for one night stand/brief series of hook ups. This would be the usual tattoo for a woman interested who is cuckolding her hubby. However I am having trouble to find one of these.

Queen of Diamonds - This means a woman is looking for a guy for a long term relationship with her husband/boyfriend's consent. Can't find one of these either.....

Queen of Spades - Oh Boy, in light of my recent post about Sean...this is the tattoo for a woman wanting a black guy to play with in bed. Typically a cuckold type relationship on specifically looking for a black guy or "BBC" as they say....You can get some cool sexy Queen of Spades temporary tattoos from Greg and Sheryl's site

Queen of Clubs - Given the large number of bisexual women into the swinging lifestyle, this one will be popular, this is worn when the woman is looking for another female as an extra-curricular partner. This is the tattoo that bi-girls in steady relationships with a man will use to signal that they can have fun with other girls with their husband/boyfriend's consent. Nope....none of these can I find....

I quite like this idea of the temporary tattoos because they are obscure enough that people who are not in the know won't really know what they are about and for an extra measure of safety since they are temporary you can just rub them off at the end of the weekend (or when ever you have your fun). I also like this better than the ankle chain or anklet as so many women where those with out knowing anything about the lifestyle.

Hummm, maybe I should look into getting a Queen of Hearts or Spades temporary tattoo for Desire this summer. :)

Art and Exposure

noreply@blogger.com (Pondering) — Mon, 11 May 2009 00:35:00 +0000

PONDERING:
I little while ago I finished a blog called 'Hotwifing Exposed'. It is a great blog written by a couple (the type of sex blog I like the best), Ben and Annabel. Ben and Annabel have a Hotwifing relationship and thus Annabel has the freedom to have extramarital lovers. Instead of having many short flings like some Hotwives or Cuckoldresses she has chosen to have one long term lover named Jerry. This arrangement seems to work very well for them and has lead to some very hot retellings of there sexual encounters but it got me thinking about how I would feel if I were Ben and what type of Fuck Buddy (FB) I would be comfortable with if Desire and I started into this lifestyle.

Desire and I have talked about it before and we are both pretty sure that we think we would be more comfortable for us with shorter term FB's. Nether of us really know though as I think it is probably one of those things that you don't really know until you are in it. Also, I guess it would really depend on the person (the FB that is) and how much Desire enjoyed them. From my perspective having short term lovers would reduce the risk of emotional attachment to any one person, plus having Desire "act like a slut" and just enjoy sex so much that she just can't get enough of it from any one person is a part of the fantasy. Not only can she get better lovers than me but she could get as many as she wanted. On the other hand there is something to be said for a lover that knows your body so a long term lover (other than myself of course) might just give her a great deal more pleasure. I guess an new couples would never really know at first as it is territory that is not only new to them but also not talked about in the main stream. Only couples that are in it know how it works for them but blogs like Hotwifing Exposed and some books might give the best peek inside the life. Once again Ben and Annabel great blog, not only has it got me horny but it also make me think. Working two heads at once so to speak. :)

As a quick aside I have just found out the name of an Artist that I have admired for a while, Namio Harukawa. With my interest for Femdom and Cuckolding I have seen this artists work before on various sites but I didn't know his name. All his work is not only very Femdom oriented but also portrays curvier women in these sexual acts. This obviously struck a cord with me. While I don't find all his work arousing (I'm not into water sports) the vast majority of it I find highly erotic. For an example of what I am talking about you can see his work here, here and here.

Social Adults

noreply@blogger.com (Pondering) — Mon, 04 May 2009 02:15:00 +0000

PONDERING:
As I may have mentioned before when it comes to porn my taste is almost strictly for amateur porn. There are quite a few reasons for this, a major one being that you can almost guarantee that the people who are in it, are in it for the pleasure not the paycheck and I find it much more of a turn on. It is much sexier to see and hear a woman really moan in pleasure because it feels good and not because she thinks (or is told) the scene requires it. One other reason I prefer amateur is that I find it utterly fascinating and actually kind of inspiring that normal people that you see everyday can have this hidden wild and exiting sex life!

It used to be that the only real good resources for real amateur porn and stories about peoples real (or at least seemingly real) experiences was on web forums. I quite enjoyed a few of them and if you are interested the following are a few of my favorites:

While it is still true that forms have good content the amateur porn community does not live in a bubble and it has latched on to the social networking thing with zeal. This is not too surprising I guess as all sectors of the porn community are known for their early adoption of technology. Nothing drives innovation like the desire to have another orgasm! :) So I like many, many others have visited these sites for some ... manual release. Two that I have come accross and visit from time to time are:

Now, as I mentioned in my post 'Brave Faces' I am always impressed and curious when people are brave enough to have their faces exposed, along with the rest of their bodies, for all the world to see and potentially identify when it comes to porn. Doing so in "standard" porn is brave enough but I think it is especially so when it comes to something that falls outside vanilla (OK, even less vanilla). It actually really surprised me how many people, around the area Desire and I live, have there faces up on some of these social sites. I mean I've seen pictures of people taken in public places that I recognize! There are sexual deviants are all around us! Ha ha. :) Really though, I do generally assume that most people I pass day to day are quite likely to have quite interesting and varied sex lives (or at least fantasies) but this is unequivocal proof!

Now, I do purposely keep a very minimal presence on these sites and I've only really registered because you have to be a member to look around. The reason I do not have a greater presence is because Desire is not into browsing porn or sexual related things nearly as much as I am; in fact she never does it. So, while we (technically I) have a presence on these types of websites I keep it to a low a profile as possible as I would only feel comfortable having a larger presence if Desire was also on there with me. These types of sites are designed to be social and interactive sites after all and if Desire is not comfortable "socializing" then I will obviously respect that. Now, if she ever wants to go exploring on her own or with me on these websites I would be more than happy to help her figure it all out. In fact I would find it extremely erotic. I am not holding my breath though and that is fine, we do quite well with out it and I do have a tendency to push too far too fast when it comes to sex and so Desire is a good anchor when it comes to that. Someday though she just may surprise me, it has happened before ...

Hotwife + Dominatrix = Cuckoldress?

noreply@blogger.com (Pondering) — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 03:45:00 +0000

PONDERING:
As I may have mentioned before Desire and I like to dabble in some light to medium BDSM from time to time. Mostly just consisting of Desire restraining me in some manner and then teasing me with various implements from the sensual touch, to the crack of a paddle, to denying me of sensation completely for an unknown period of time. Over time as we have gotten more comfortable with the Hotwife fantasy the two forms of fantasy Hotwiving and BDSM have started to blend together. I find it quite fascinating actually when I take a step back from it and think about it; sexuality not only varies between couple and individuals but it also evolves over time. Part of what keeps it so exiting it not being exactly sure where it is going to go and what variations it will take, when you might try something completely new and exhilarating and when you might revisit something you forgot you love. I am a very lucky man because I am in a very communicative relationship (thanks in a large part to Desire) and this not only helps us explore these new streams of our sexuality but also to find comfort in each other when we feel we need the closeness of the familiar.

Now were was I ... Oh yes, our two types of fantasy merging. Well as you may recall from my now famous post :) on the difference between Hotwife and Cuckold, I said my (porn) fantasies leaned more towards the Cuckold but I thought that if Desire and I ever got into the lifestyle it would be with a decidedly more Hotwife slant. I think this is still quite true but lately in our mutual bedroom fantasies we have brought in more and more Cuckold elements into the mix. This took me partly by surprise (not that I'm complaining at all!) but given what I mentioned about our BDSM play I think it is not all that shocking. So let me explain to you how they have started to intermingle ... that is if you want me to. :)

As you know I try to keep the size talk to a minimum on this blog for fear that I will dominate every post I write (given I am male and well, we can just get like that) and then it will alienate any women readers that we may have. Given the nature of this blog though it is very hard (ha ha) to do. While on the surface it seems like the penis size part of the wife sharing fantasy would be mostly if not exclusively a Cuckold thing it also seems to be firmly entrenched in the Hotwife part of the fantasy too. For example a couple from a blog I read 'Bacon and Lettuce - Part Duex' from my perspective have a very Hotwife leaning relationship but the excitement Bacon recounts when Lettuce tells him how big her regular lover's cock is almost palpable. For the record I can totally understand.

As for us, well I have linked to the entry above where I talk about my past size insecurities, that I've overcome them and how I realize that I am actually a little above average size. Well that insecurity seems to be well and truly passed and now and Desire and I can actively use the penis size thing as part of our sex play and it is great fun for both of us. How it started was we happened to be waiting for a ride one day and I was sitting on a small wall while Desire was standing in between my legs. Desire jokingly mentioned how cute I looked in my swimming trunks, I think she was referring to the shorts or something else but she just happened to be looking at my crotch at the time. This immediately got a reaction from me and Desire noticed! Unfortunately, we could not do anything about it that day but for the next few days Desire took to the small penis humiliation (SPH) like a fish to water! She would keep calling it cute when ever she saw it (and for those of you that don't know when I guy hears a woman call his penis cute he automatically thinks she means small because a penis is supposed to be big, strong, girthy, and masculine; not cute) and she even managed to make a whole day of it once. We were wondering around a museum with almost no one it is one day and she kept on "accidentally" grazing her hand against my crotch when we moved from exhibit to exhibit. This was just getting hard as a rock and I was doing my absolute best to hide it. Desire noticing this would mention how cute it looked and how she wanted to get a larger lover with a real cock. One that was nice and big and not just a cute little thing.

Later that day it even got to the point were we were once again waiting for a ride and Desire saw this physically large black man with dreads whom she was instantly attracted to. She told me this (I had already guessed this fact) and how she bet he had a huge cock. For the rest of the day she would mention how she wanted his large cock to stretch her out to her limits, giving her pleasure that my cute little cock could just not give her. Somehow we managed to make it home, Desire whispering in my ear the whole way talking about the guy we saw and how much more she would enjoy his cock as apposed than mine and also how she would not even be able to feel mine afterwards. By the time we finally got into our bed, had some foreplay, and Desire was ready for some cock, I was just so wound by all the teasing and excitement all day that ... I came in about one pump. LOL. We had a good laugh about it afterwards and Desire didn't mind too much as it just demonstrated the sexual power she has over me. It also didn't hurt that I took proper care of her the next day. :)

So, that was our fun with SPH and we still use it in our sex play now. Just so I'm clear to any readers that my not understand this kind of sex play for us SPH is just another fun fantasy to enjoy that enhances our sexuality. When we are not just playing around and fantasizing Desire says she is more than satisfied with my cock and I believe her 100%. Also, I know that I am not huge but I am also by no means small in that area, not that it should really make that much of a difference anyway. There is also one other very important fact to all this and it is that Desire and I love each other very much. When it comes to our BDSM play or our Cuckold/SPH play or any other fantasy play for that matter we know that at the end of the day that all it is fantasy. Back in the real world if ether of us is feeling insecure and in need of reassurance or just wants some good old plain vanilla fun then that is exactly what the other will give.

To end this post off I though I would share a picture I borrowed from a blog called 'Small Penis Therapy', I instantly found it arousing as not only is the woman in it cute but it perfectly reflects what I talked about above. It has a little bit more info on SPH.

Catch Up

noreply@blogger.com (Pondering) — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 04:02:00 +0000

PONDERING:
Well I think we are officially out of our winter slump. The weather is getting nicer, we have taken some time off of work, and generally have just been enjoying ourselves. Desire has surprised me a few times recently and I'll tell you about one in occasion particular.

We are on holiday right now at a beach and so everyone is out in their bathing suit and needless to say their is plenty of eye candy for both of us. Because Desire and I have been together for so long we have both become more open about who we are checking out and have become quite good at guessing whom the other might find attractive (I think Desire is better than me at this). Anyway, we found a place to sit for a while and have some lunch and I notice this women in a group of people that is not only my type (Rubenesque) but she is also wearing a white bikini and playing in the water! I point this out to Desire and she gives me a knowing smile and says, "Of course, she is sooo your type". We finish our lunch and then head down to a less populated area. After walking for a while we get warm and so we decide to take a dip in the water. I'm feeling a little frisky from having spent a lot of the day catching up on my Hotwife blogs so I am a little handsy with Desire under the water. Desire then surprises me by discreetly rubbing my now hard cock and talking about the woman in the white bikini. Like I said we are both pretty cool about each other checking out other people (well of course I am given the main content of this blog) but Desire has never done this before! She continues to stroke my cock by putting one of her hands down my swim trunks asking me if I would have like to have seen that woman as she came out of the water in her see through bikini and if I would liked to have seen her tits in the wet transparent top. Desire continues to stroke me getting even more graphic talking about about me eating out this woman and than sticking my hard cock into her tight wet pussy... Thankfully there is no one around us as I am getting quite worked up but for some reason I can't quite get there. Desire slows down and we continue to cuddle, kiss and laugh a little at our naughtiness while floating around lazily in the water.

I have to say I have the best wife ever, ha ha! :) I will have to warn Desire though, if she keeps this up we may loose our Hotwifing blog status and in the process loosing all are readership and blogs linking to us! :) Never fear though, as Desire has had her share of eye candy to look at with all the vigorous hot sex between us afterwards. Yup, I would say our lull is well over.

Blog Roll

noreply@blogger.com (Pondering) — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 01:03:00 +0000

PONDERING:
When I'm on a roll I can get through quite a few blogs from start to finish, especially now that I can read them on my iPod where ever I am. I can't remember now how I found it but as I think I mentioned before I started off reading the blog Hotwife Couple. Just from following the links and followers from that blog (and since on from others) I have found and read quite a few Hotwfie type blogs. There so many in fact that even within this Hotwife/Cuckold niche there is a variance in the types relationships recounted and how each story is told. Out of all of the blogs that I have read my favorites have always been written by both partners from each persons perspective and (even if the couple are now old hands at Hotwiving) a retelling of their story from the start. Also, while I do like the detailed retelling of the hot, new, and passionate sex the best parts to me are when each person gives a frank and honest account on how they felt at the time and afterwards. When the retellings are good enough (and quite a few are) not only do I get rock hard and dripping during the sex parts but I can also get a anxious tightness in my chest in empathy when they are feeling vonarable, unsure, or after a partner has just admitted a hard truth that could be taken in badly.

Speaking about all this the blog that I just finnished that inspired me to write this entry is Joy Shared. At the time that I pulled it from the Internet they had two blogs, one private and one public. I had access to the public one and even though it was an edited archive it was still one of the best blogs (to me) about Hotwifing that I have read. Unfortunately, they have closed off there originally public blog as well so I do hope they open it again but even if they don't I will take this operrunity to thank them for sharing in the first place. It was very interesting and a very much apriciated insight for those of us considering the lifestyle.

PS. Joy, the retelling about the first blow job you gave the Australlian was really, really hot. :)

PPS. I promise this site will not just become a blog review and I will give you an update on Desire and myself soon.

Waxing, Waning and Comfort

noreply@blogger.com (Pondering) — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 02:27:00 +0000

PONDERING:
As I posted previously I have been in a bit of a lull partly due to winter and partly just a bit of a sexual lull. Don't get me wrong Desire still has the ability to, well, stir desire in me at the drop of the hat. But I guess we have both been a bit out of sync at times. Also, I have found that I've been less interested in perusing this whole hotwiving thing so aggressively. I still find it quite interesting and have continued to read about it and well, look at it (see: p o r n) but even that had slowed down during this winter. I talked to Desire regarding my waning interest in the role play the other day and wanting just some me and her time together and she found it endearing. Sometimes I think us hotwife husbands can get a little carried away with our fantasy and the while the wives find it a little sudden and overwhelming at first. Not only the newness and urgency of it all but also because it is completely the opposite of what you are taught a marriage should be. I think Desire initially felt that way and from what I have read other couples seem to have experienced similar things and some have gone through some rocky times as a result of pushing things to quickly. So, in wanting my wife all to myself it was a comfort to her that she was enough for me without the the whole hotwife fantasy and in her being sweet and accepting of this request that made me feel secure and very good as well.

... of course this reassurance that she if fine just playing me and her has made me feel more secure. This along with spring has started to reawaken my hotwife fantasies. :)

Stay tuned in the next few weeks for more posts!

We're Still Alive

noreply@blogger.com (Pondering) — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 19:04:00 +0000

PONDERING:
Hello all,

I just wanted to let you know that we are still around and doing well even if we (I) have not posted anything in awhile. It is due to a combination of things but mostly I think it was just winter related (in hibernation survival mode). :) Anyway never fear readers the randyist time of the year is coming (aka. spring) and we will be posting again soon enough I'm sure. Hope you have all been enjoying the other, more constant, blogs as much as I have.