No Magic Here

If they try to break down your disguise with their questions...

noreply@blogger.com (Marc Bernard) — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 15:39:00 +0000

From the government that brought you a fake lake comes the newest is classless theatre - a fake citizenship ceremony.

"Let's do it. We can fake the Oath," reads an email from a @sunmedia.ca email address
One staff member from Kenney's office who appeared in the email chain about the event requested their name be blacked out before release under the Access to Information Act.

From the "pointing out the brutally obvious" department

noreply@blogger.com (Marc Bernard) — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 15:52:00 +0000

Commentator at the Ontario Scotties semi-final:

"Team Horgan finished third in this event last year. They'd like to improve on that this year."

Ouch

noreply@blogger.com (Marc Bernard) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 16:56:00 +0000

From draw 1 at the Manitoba Scotties, a tough day at the office.

Pass the Advil, please

noreply@blogger.com (Marc Bernard) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 16:32:00 +0000

// Ensure the merged data we are using is appropriate to image
// Note that, some of the time, the type of merged.id and position
// may not be the same. (though their values will stil equate under
// javascript's equality rules)  Therefore, it isn't safe to require
// the types of both to be equal.
// tl;dr: don't change the equality comparison to "==="

var merged;

if( this.merged.id == position )
{
 merged = this.merged;
}
else
{
   merged = this.merged.parent.getChild(position);  
}

This is a picture I did not take

noreply@blogger.com (Marc Bernard) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 14:32:00 +0000

Of a labradoodle (or could have been a goldendoodle, hard to tell) out for a walk this morning, wearing snowpants. Not doggie booties, snowpants. A four-legged version of the typical kid's black snowpants, with the straps hiked up over its hips and shoulders.

Who was fitted with collar and chain

noreply@blogger.com (Marc Bernard) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 17:09:00 +0000

Looking forward to seeing Tony "Cashbox" Clement do the perp walk soon.

New Democrat MP Charlie Angus issued the call Monday based on new documents in which a senior federal bureaucrat contradicts Clement’s insistence that he was not involved in choosing which projects would get funding to spruce up his riding.
“He told the Canadian people, ‘If anybody could ever prove that I would do that, I’d turn myself over to the cops.’ Well, Tony, what about it?” Angus told a news conference.

Conservative cabinet minister Tony Clement was involved in choosing which projects were selected for the multi-million dollar G8 legacy fund, according to documents obtained by the federal New Democrats.
“It is my understanding that MINO [the Minister’s Office] advised Infrastructure Canada which projects should be supported under the G8 Infrastructure & Legacy Fund and their staff prepared the contribution agreements for them accordingly,” said a January 13, 2010 email from Federal Economic Development Initiative for Northern Ontario (FedNor) official Tom Dodds that the NDP released to the media on Monday.

Intermediate Regionals

noreply@blogger.com (Marc Bernard) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 01:27:00 +0000

I got picked up as a spare for a team playing in the OCA Intermediate Regionals. If you look closely at the draw sheet you can see us going A, B, see you later. We're listed as team Martin, but Martin himself was tanning his studly physique on a beach in Cuba this weekend.

The ice in Markdale was the worst I have played on in a long time. We were throwing our normal board weight just to hit the house. The rocks were squirrely as well. Our lead was throwing one that was 15 feet lighter than the other, and it lost handle on every throw. Brutal.

I felt a little better when I saw the vice for the favourite team in the thing hog a guard in the 11th end of their game last night. That was typical of all the games across the four sheets.

Too bad a Regional has to be played under such shitty conditions.

Down this road we've been so many times

noreply@blogger.com (Marc Bernard) — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 20:38:00 +0000

How often do you find yourself writing code for an edge case, and you say to yourself, "This will NEVER happen. But when it does..."

Still hiring?

noreply@blogger.com (Marc Bernard) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 17:44:00 +0000

Dear HR folks:

It's not the number of interviews that are a statistic of interest, it's the number of individual contributors you actually onboard that matters.

Conversation of the day

noreply@blogger.com (Marc Bernard) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 17:43:00 +0000

Smallest daughter was grouching about school one day. She said that the class was learning a bunch of kindergarten songs, and that they all wanted something a little more "grown up" - something more in tune with the tastes of third graders.

F: Mr. C only teaches us stupid songs, like 'Poor little bug on the wall'.

Me: You sang that song in nursery school.

F: Oho! So you see my POINT, DO YOU?!?!?!

Commodities forecast

noreply@blogger.com (Marc Bernard) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 17:31:00 +0000

Just because aluminum has gone up in price every quarter for the last 40 quarters doesn't mean it won't go down this time.

Curling sponsorship

noreply@blogger.com (Marc Bernard) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 17:30:00 +0000

Think the nice people who make Advil would be keen to sponsor a curling team? In particular, an Intermediates (40+) team that will be playing this weekend? My shoulders would be ever so grateful.

It must be Monday

noreply@blogger.com (Marc Bernard) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 17:48:00 +0000

It's amazing how much more effective a fix is when you remember to publish it to the web server before testing it again.

A new machine

noreply@blogger.com (Marc Bernard) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 20:15:00 +0000

Welcome to The Twitter.

I'll be coaching a team at the 2012 Timbits Provincial Curling Championship in Parry Sound in April. To keep family, friends, schoolmates and school staff up to date on the team's progress while we prepare and while we're at the event, I've created a Twitter account.

Follow along as we practice and compete!

http://twitter.com/StTeresaCurling

Coding in JavaScript

noreply@blogger.com (Marc Bernard) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 15:43:00 +0000

Coding in JavaScript is like coding with your pants around your ankles. You never know what's going to happen, and you just hope for the best...

Turkey, er... chicken shoot

noreply@blogger.com (Marc Bernard) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 18:35:00 +0000

Smallest daughter was part of a "turkey shoot" at junior curling yesterday. Teams of four were throwing draws to see who the lucky winners would be. As it turns out, her team had three rocks in the house (two of hers, she was careful to make clear to us) and were the winners of four frozen roasting chickens.

Some years, by the time winter ends and BBQ season starts, the freezer is full of boxes with place numbers written on them. Generally, "4th" means pork chops, "3rd" means ribs, "2nd" means steaks, and "1st" is steaks and/or ribs. This year, there's a chicken in the freezer and the eight-year-old is sporting a big grin.

- p.s. - for the curious, "5th" and "6th" are usually ham, "7th" and "8th" are bacon. It's good bacon, but it's never as good as the 1st place steaks.

TSN Curling Skins Game

noreply@blogger.com (Marc Bernard) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 17:12:00 +0000

We were at Casino Rama yesterday to take in the final of this year's TSN Curling Skins Game. What a great game! Pat Simmons was on fire for Koe's team, making almost everything. Koe himself was a highlight reel, with big weight runbacks and many draws covering the pin.

The decision on the shot to win the game came down to either a draw for a carryover or a big weight triple. I was leaning towards the draw myself, thinking that it would be a good warmup for the carryover-deciding draw for the win. However, it was definitely possible to make the double and stick around, so even if the triple didn't work, the carryover would still happen.

Simmons put the broom down and told Koe it would work, no doubt keeping an eye on the clock that had them down around a minute left at that point. Koe gripped it and ripped it, and cashed a big cheque. Definitely a candidate for shot of the year.

The memories of a man in his old age are the deeds of a man in his prime

noreply@blogger.com (Marc Bernard) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 16:54:00 +0000

Memory is the second thing to go...

[A] new study suggests that memory, reasoning and comprehension can start to slip as early as age 45."Cognitive function in normal, healthy adults begins to decline earlier than previously thought," said study author Archana Singh-Manoux."It is widely believed that cognitive ability does not decline before the age of 60. We were able to show robust cognitive decline even in individuals aged 45 to 49 years," added Singh-Manoux, research director at INSERM's Center for Research in Epidemiology & Population Health at the Paul-Brousse Hospital in Paris.

Just wondering...

noreply@blogger.com (Marc Bernard) — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 20:46:00 +0000

Aung San Suu Kyi said Thursday she expected to live to see full democratic elections in Burma.

I wonder when the next democratic election will be held in Canada, without stolen domains, hoax polling station calls, snatched ballot boxes or fraudulent money laundering.

Could be a while...

Conversation of the day

noreply@blogger.com (Marc Bernard) — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 21:04:00 +0000

The 11 year old is blonde. Lately, she's been really blonde. I mean this as no offense to blonde people, but man has she lost whatever common sense she's ever had.

Today the 8 year old ran downstairs to grab her snow pants and winter boots.

F: Sis! Sis! I'm going to build a snowman!

V: [pause] Outside?

Me: Holy f...iretruck...

15 things to do with your kids before they're 15

noreply@blogger.com (Marc Bernard) — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 17:39:00 +0000

The Ontario Parks blog has a list of 15 things to do with your kids before they're 15.

We're Ontario Parks regulars, and the kids are 11 and 8 now. Let's see how we're doing...

1. Learn to camp.

Done!

2. Swim a northern Ontario lake.

Done! Heading back to my favourite this summer, Grundy Lake.

3. Learn to fish.

I don't fish, but the kids are often used as an excuse for Uncle Martin to go fishing, so I think this one counts.

4. Stay in a yurt.

Haven't done this one yet.

5. Explore the night sky.

Done!

6. Try dogsledding.

Haven't done this one yet.

7. Skate through the woods at night.

Smallest daughter wants to do this at MacGregor this winter. If it ever gets cold...

8. Go winter tubing.

We planned to go tubing last year, over New Year's, but got rained out. Planned again for this year, but it's looking pretty green out there today.

9. Try paddleboarding.

Haven't done this one yet.

10. Join a park wolf howl.

Done!

11. Hike Lake Superior’s Coastal Hiking Trail.

Haven't done this one yet.

12. Stay in a park ranger cabin.

Haven't done this one yet.

13. Paddle or kayak to your Ontario Parks camp site.

We've certainly done tons of paddling, but haven't stayed overnight yet. Toying with the idea of going back to Killarney this summer, and spending at least one night on an interior site.

14. Trick or treat.

Haven't done this one yet, but we did see lots of excellent Halloween decorations at MacGregor in October, when we were there for Thanksgiving.

15. Play golf.

Golf and camping don't belong together.

They say the toothless get ruthless

noreply@blogger.com (Marc Bernard) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 18:33:00 +0000

Something smelly oozes off the front page of the paper today.

When Carolyn Siopiolosz answered the phone days before the May 2 federal election, she knew something was wrong. The anonymous caller informed the St. Clements resident that her polling station had been changed to a park in Kitchener. After using the “star-69” command on her phone to track the telephone number, Siopiolosz decided to contact Kitchener-Conestoga riding’s returning officer and Elections Canada.

When called, the number goes to a voice mail for the “Conservative Party.” The message asks callers to leave their name, number and a detailed message and says the party will get back to them within three business days. Fred DeLorey, director of communications and deputy director of political operations for the Conservative Party of Canada, confirmed in an email “that the number was ours.”

What does our MP think?

Kitchener-Conestoga Conservative MP Harold Albrecht, reached on Monday, was so surprised by the situation that he called the number himself. He said he found the ownership of the number troubling and the message unprofessional. “I will be asking some questions, absolutely,” said Albrecht, adding he will investigate. “It’s not the kind of actions I would support.”

However, Harold appears to support all the other dirty tricks the Conservatives have pulled. If he really thought this was unprofessional he'd bring it up with someone in Ottawa, right? Isn't that why we elected him - to look after us? He pretends to be trustworthy. I'm sure he'd tell you that if you asked him.

These stories come as parliamentarians are decrying a rise in “dirty tricks” by the Conservative party. The party recently employed the market research firm Campaign Research to call constituents in Liberal MP Irwin Cotler’s Mount Royal riding. The calls asked residents who they would support in a byelection should Cotler step down, which the MP says he has no plans of doing.

Cotler raised the issue in the House of Commons, and the Speaker last week called the tactics “reprehensible.”

Yet Campaign Research was contracted by many Conservative MPs during the election, including Speaker Andrew Scheer, Albrecht, Braid and Kitchener Centre Conservative MP Stephen Woodworth, according to their statements of electoral campaign expenses.

So with this in mind, let me ask you, voters of Kitchener-Conestoga, who would you support in a byelection should Harold Albrecht be found guilty of a criminal offense related to election fraud? You know, hypothetically, of course.

Don't you deserve better?

Wilfrid Laurier High Performance Curling Clinic

noreply@blogger.com (Marc Bernard) — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 15:45:00 +0000

I had the pleasure of being a guest coach at the first Wilfrid Laurier High Performance Curling Clinic on Saturday.

Laurier is in the process of setting up a High Performance Centre, where teams and individuals can receive instruction and assessment from some of the sport's top coaches. The Saturday clinic was focused on club-level curlers. Sessions included strategy, sweeping, set up and delivery, split timing (using a wireless system) and video analysis.

I was on the set up and delivery sheet, along with Canadian Junior and University champion Laura Crocker. Luckily for me, Laura did the demonstration of the perfect balanced delivery while all I had to do was talk about it. I was ready to step in and demonstrate a wobbly slide, but we had enough material to get us through an hour, and it didn’t come to that.

We had a good mix of experience among the 60 participants in the clinic. There were several familiar faces, including a few I've played against in various competitions in the past. That was a little weird.

Laurier plans to host another clinic in the new year, and we're going to organize a one-on-one session for our Bantam girls team in the near future. They will soak this stuff up, for sure.

Interesting psych experiment

noreply@blogger.com (Marc Bernard) — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 16:09:00 +0000

I figured it out! We're part of a psychology experiment.

How else would you explain the extra-bright lights, the loud sounds, the skunky drinking water?

If this doesn't lead to behaviour modification, what will they try next? Two hour meetings to tell us how the review process will change to make raises even more unattainable?

When I try to get through on the telephone to you

noreply@blogger.com (Marc Bernard) — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 16:13:00 +0000

[A] new survey in Britain found that one in five parents use tech gadgets to talk to their own children while inside the same home.

Guilty.

No Magic Here

If they try to break down your disguise with their questions...

From the "pointing out the brutally obvious" department

Ouch

Pass the Advil, please

This is a picture I did not take

Who was fitted with collar and chain

Intermediate Regionals

Down this road we've been so many times

*Still* hiring?

Conversation of the day

Commodities forecast

Curling sponsorship

It must be Monday

A new machine

Coding in JavaScript

Turkey, er... chicken shoot

TSN Curling Skins Game

The memories of a man in his old age are the deeds of a man in his prime

Just wondering...

Conversation of the day

15 things to do with your kids before they're 15

They say the toothless get ruthless

Wilfrid Laurier High Performance Curling Clinic

Interesting psych experiment

When I try to get through on the telephone to you

Still hiring?