Keep dreaming, it's the only way to go

Cry me a river

2026-05-24T08:14:11.819-07:00

It's times like this I'm reminded of how much I hate human interaction, and yet I also realize how much I need human interaction. You know how some people don't speak the same language and yet understand each other, yet there will be those who speak the same language perfectly but will never ever understand each other. It is precisely because they speak the same language and can communicate and argue, which is why it creates a false sense of understanding and eventually leads to a breakdown in communication. No matter how you try to explain, emotions end up getting in the way and there is no way of communicating, which leads to disconnection. It's this disconnection that makes one feel so violated. There is just no longer a point in communicating because no one is willing to listen. Deep down the root cause is probably a difference in values and priorities. Like some people would spend money on experiences, while I spend money on food. Neither is wrong, but travelling together wouldn't be enjoyable since we don't like to do the same things, we don't want the same things.

Because there is no way to talk things out, I end up bottling up feelings. I yearn for human interaction because it is a chance to release these emotions, yet even with technology, there is no way to release except for blogging. At least blogging helps to keep feelings tangible, palpable and more manageable. Otherwise it would just end up like a huge cloud over my head and a tight chest. How pathetic. Surrounded by friends and family yet not being able to share anything to help remove the stone over my chest. It is times like this I don't want to live till 100. I probably won't anyway after so many sleepless nights.

Don't say a word when we are overwhelmed with emotions. Because maybe what we say ends up becoming true. Even if it were just said in anger. That's how the universe works. We hear the words and end up believing them. "No one needs anyone." Perhaps believing these words makes life so much easier, because we know not to depend. Dependency ends up causing more hurt because we trusted and yet the other party let us fall. Not just in the sense of life responsibilities, but in the sense of emotional protection. We once trusted the other to listen and understand and yet those are taken for granted. We say it hurts and yet the other continues to do what they do, as though pain does not actually exist. We say stop, once, twice, thrice till it's too late. Bloodshed happened once but it is all forgotten too early. That's why better to keep a distance than to be sorry later on.

Yes I will believe I don't need anyone. At least not the people who would hurt me without even realising. That's just too risky. Their lives go on and I'd just be dead in the gutter and no one would even find me. It's not like I regret anything, but we have to just move on to the next stage of life and figure out what's best for us. The same issues just keep coming up because they were never fixed, just shoved under the rug. One interprets the issue in one way, the other in a different way. Insults one time too many. Annoyance. Not just personal insults, but insults towards family members and offences taken at every gathering. Never-ending drama. Mountains out of molehills. Judgements at every meet-up.

When can a simple meeting be just what it is, a simple meeting, instead of being a test of character?

TTFN~

Time heals all wounds and eventually fades all feelings.

2026-03-07T04:17:00.000-08:00

Nothing lasts forever. Even things that one used to think could have lasted forever, probably would still end because it is just too hard to defy nature's laws. Perhaps there are some who are strong enough to fight against nature, but most of us including myself probably just cannot. I am not above nature.

When people decide they have the right to think in a certain way, and cannot see other perspectives, then it becomes a matter of agreeing to disagree. Yet it is tough for most to agree to disagree. Especially when values misalign. Not just random differences, but differences that hit the core of our being. That is possibly when people fall out of friendships and relationships. Even bonds as deep as mother and son can break because of these misalignments in values. Just like how a spine misalignment can cause severe discomfort like nerve impingement and muscle wastage. We either have to fix it or suffer the pain and life impediments. Fixing it means either re-aligning the spine through manipulation techniques, or in more serious cases, an actual replacement of the vertebra. In life some people, perhaps luckily, are able to place their feet in another's shoes, see from new perspectives as they mature, and re-align their values. But many also choose to replace whatever does not align. Of course, it becomes increasingly difficult when this re-alignment is, more often than not, one sided.

Sometimes people just give up because there is no visible solution. Some people try one time too many and end up losing hope. Sometimes cutting things off seems like the best solution for all parties, because enough is enough. Enough of explaining oneself, enough of going through emotional turmoil, enough of having to suffer instead of living the life one deserves. Because how could love be possible if one's happiness often becomes the other's source of unhappiness? How could love be possible if there is often a fear of communicating? How could love be possible if there is no longer the desire to share everything and anything? Even tripping on a stair becomes something that one just swallows and forgets because one no longer yearns for care and concern from the person that no longer aligns with you.

TTFN~

Dreams

2026-02-16T08:42:00.000-08:00

My dream was never to live in a condo, nor a landed property. Honestly what's the good in these material goods when one has to pay such high maintenance fees and the interior is pretty much similar to a HDB? What's the good in these when management isn't even that great compared to a town council? What's the good in these when I've known people wanting to jump from their 2m condos because of poor relationships? Yeah money makes things easier I guess, but the lack of money also gives you no choice but to live and try to make things work. The lack of money gives you clarity as to who would still stay with you for who you are and what you stand for instead of what you're worth.

I'm not lost in my life. I've mentioned my dreams before. But sometimes I do wonder who actually hears them and would want to help me fulfil them. I don't need a condo, but if my loved one wanted to work towards it, sure. I hear you and I'm able to help you with it. But did you hear my dreams? They say love is unconditional. But love is not about ignoring either. I do wonder if you heard me, I do wonder if you even care about my dreams. You don't even have to agree with them but did you even hear me in the first place? Or am I, and my "dreams", just the idea you have created of me and my dreams in your mind?

TTFN~

Sometimes I do wonder, where do I go in life?

2025-12-04T19:30:00.000-08:00

I'm almost 18weeks and I think my hormones are making me sorta crazy? Like one day I can be feeling like I'm wasting my life away and crying myself to sleep, and then when I wake up I feel fine lol. But I've been feeling quite a bit of ups and downs internally for the past 1 month or so and I keep thinking it's due to the limbo I've been in while waiting for the results of an award I had applied for, as well as the stress from organising a major international conference. Maybe the hormones just amplify these emotions? I'm not entirely sure but the mood swing is pretty drastic.

I guess there will be times in life we just feel we made the wrong decisions and we are not where we are supposed to be? It's weird because I do see what I have in life - the most loving, understanding and lovable boy and a 2nd on the way, a flexible job, a roof over my head that's in such a centralised location, no debts to worry about hence being able to quit whenever I want - but somehow I still feel like I'm just not fulfilled in life. Like wth is wrong with me?!

It's not like I'm comparing myself to other people on social media that's causing me to feel shi**y. I don't want to be like them. I don't like make-up (well I like looking at good-looking people but my skin just does not feel happy with make up and I don't like the cleansing process), I don't like consumerism and I don't want to deal with the spotlight (not that it's so easy to get in it but just no thanks). Maybe I just feel lonely sometimes. There are things I wanna talk and discuss about life and perspectives, but it feels like I am lacking in that aspect. I want to go for fitness classes, I want to learn calligraphy, I want to play drums and maybe even perform a bit, I want to bake, I want to eat at vegan cafes and find yummy food, but at this point in life I just feel like I cannot do any of these things properly and regularly, and there is nothing enabling me to kick-start these hobbies.

A few weeks ago I had even contemplated just quitting my job so that I could get away from things that irritate or frustrate me, and just pursue the things that I've been putting on hold. I even decided that God would give me a sign using the results of the award to let me know whether I should still continue on the same path. The results were estimated to come out in end Nov but so far there hasn't been any news. And then the conference happened and everything went pretty smoothly and we didn't even make a loss, PLUS just nice we should be organising next year's 1000 pax event so it seemed like God wanted me to stay and continue. There's even going to be an additional batch of English students every 2 years so how could I just leave? And now I'm also part of a statutory board committee, which is tied to my work as well.

Writing always makes me feel much more clear-headed. I guess I know better now what the next steps should be...

TTFN!<3

2025 New Year Resolutions

2025-01-05T00:14:00.000-08:00

Health

Do 5-10 pull-ups every day (aim to do 1 un-assisted by the end of June).

Hip stretches for at least 5min every day after work.

Sleep at 10 - 1030pm.

Go for yoga at least once a week when mil is here.

Nature walks at least once a month.

Baby A

Bring him somewhere new & educational at least twice this year. (E.g. Children's museum).

Wheelbarrow at least once a week. Or some other fun strengthening exercise.

Teach him to read.

Explore cricket/other sports opportunities.

Planned Breaks

Take leave from 25th Dec - 31st Dec.

Travel at least once a year.

Celebrate our birthdays.

Hobbies

Read It's Not Me.

Home Enhancement

Reorganize cupboards so that we can find stuff more easily.

Hunt for our BTO/SBF.

Elemit Yoga

Plan our first yoga retreat.

Not sharing my financial goals since I feel it's a little too personal.

TTFN!

Reviewing my 2024 New Year Resolutions

2025-01-04T21:34:00.000-08:00

Hi, we're back here after ONE year!

Health

Do 20-30s handstands every day.

I did not do this yikes! Thought yoga was enough but once a week is far from enough so I have to make myself do this! I did do pull-ups towards the end of the year though.

Stretch at least 5min every day.

I did this sometimes, but not every day...Too much phone!

Sleep at 10 - 11pm.

Managed to do this for most of the year, but sometimes the phone gets in the way!! Tsk!

Go for yoga at least once a week when mil is here.

Most successful goal perhaps haha!

Nature walks at least once a month.

Yeah we went to Botanic Gardens several times and also walked around the neighbourhood pretty frequently. Hope to do this more often though.

Baby

Teach him to ride the bike. 👍(trike)

Get him off diapers.👍

Wean him off breast milk.👍

Read a book to him every week.

Failed, but thankfully my MIL actually taught him to write letters 💓

Planned Breaks

Take leave from 25th Dec - 31st Dec. (Felt really good in 2023, but also depends on where mil will be.)

Took leave earlier and started working on 30th (which I thought I could use to do my resolutions but I am still late haha. Had to settle quite a few loose ends for Elemit Yoga so the personal stuff had to wait...)

Travel at least once a year (not during Christmas).

We went to JB!

Celebrate our birthdays. (Haha, because I've always been so lazy to.)

Easily settled by going to ice-cream parlours haha.

Hobbies

Read at least one Chinese classic novel.

Nope, but I did read one TCM book during my year-end travel and also one English autobiography some time in the middle of the year.

Home Enhancement

Reorganize cupboards so that we can find stuff more easily.

I honestly don't know how to do this when household members don't have the habit of keeping things back in their original place??

Plan a kid's gym.

Nope, kicked this plan out for the time being and relying on playgrounds.

Elemit Yoga

Plan our first yoga retreat.

We sorta have a rough plan, but it was not a good time to leave the country.

Not sharing my financial goals since I feel it's a little too personal.

2024 was pretty good for me work-wise, hopefully I get a raise in early 2025...

But I do feel I am neglecting my family a bit, and relying a bit too much on my MIL. It's not that I don't do housework, but when she's here, I don't cook or clean much since she's doing most of it. That's on top of looking after Aryan and accompanying him to sleep. At most I do breakfast, cut fruits, make desserts and do the laundry. Definitely feel it much more especially when I got busier towards the end of the year due to having to organize the international conference at work. She's honestly great family support but I just feel I need to be there more for my boy since he's still so young.

But overall even though I didn't hit ALL of my goals, I think some of the important ones have been completed. I believe I am going in the right direction, and for 2025 I'm gonna make my goals "SMARTer" and also think of actual routines to implement so that I can track my progress better and also be more accountable for my life. There are also some routines that I had implemented which weren't part of my 2024 goals, but I felt they would be great to include and fine-tune. Looking forward to planning and sharing my 2025 goals (hopefully by today too)!

TTFN!

I Feel My Life's Like An Arranged Marriage

2024-04-18T05:52:00.000-07:00

I feel my life's like an arranged marriage...In a good way though.

I married a native Indian, and it was a so-called "love marriage". But everything else in my life seems so "arranged". By that I mean every decision made seemed to be based on first impressions instead of long-term planning.

I chose my uni course based on a simple attraction to natural health. I didn't consider the workload, the ulu-ness of NTU, the prospects of becoming a TCM physician, or other job prospects for that matter. There weren't many choices of uni anyway. It was either NUS or NTU, or an overseas uni. I knew if I were to go overseas, I would be doing veterinary medicine. But since the overseas universities didn't want me, I narrowed down my choices to the local Us. I don't even remember if I had any 2nd or 3rd choices. I know I submitted an NUS USP application, but they gave me a conditional offer. The TCM course in NTU gave me an unconditional offer, so I took it up. Well, love should be unconditional right?

Getting my current job was also based on a scholarship that I got when I was in Year 3 of uni. I've never actually thought of leaving since I feel there is so much room for progress. Plus I live 15min away from my workplace! I did apply for other scholarships but they all rejected me. So I went with the one that accepted me. Truth be told, I actually didn't know what I was getting into. The scholarship was actually for a teaching job, which I only found out later during the interview HAHA. But right now I am not only teaching, I'm also working on a diverse range of projects from event planning to marketing so I get a glimpse into different work scopes, which just makes me feel like I'm at a buffet and get to try out various stuff. I'm definitely aware of the side effects of buffets, but I think I'm pretty good at saying "no" when I need to so I haven't exactly put too much on my plate at the moment. Work is fulfilling, but not thaaaat hectic and it really is a balance that I have to regularly recalibrate whenever I feel overwhelmed.

I think I always knew what I liked, and I definitely knew what I didn't like. Even though I didn't have a concrete life plan, but I think in my case the law of attraction did its wonders and things that I enjoyed doing just fell into place. Or perhaps what I really enjoy is the freedom. Since what I have chosen isn't very competitive nor well-developed, I could do things at my own pace and mold my own pathway. Or perhaps I am really just very lucky. Privileged in the sense that I don't have to worry too much about earning a lot of money, and that I have access to the resources (thanks Youtube) that help me live wisely and in a financially stable way such that I can really do the things I enjoy.

<3 TTFN!

Why I finally cancelled my UOB One Credit Card

2024-03-12T00:43:00.000-07:00

I've been using the UOB One credit card for a long time - I remember using it to pay for my house reno in 2020. At that time I was consistently making quite a few large purchases so I could hit the 2k minimum spend in order to get 5% off. I think CardUp was also still accepting it at the time so I am pretty sure I used it to pay for my house mortgage as well. Then CardUp spends became ineligible so I cancelled it for the first time because I could only hit the lower tiers that gave 3.33%. Also there were other cards like DBS Live Fresh that gave higher cashback anyway.

Fast-forward to 2022 or so, there were promos and during covid + wars the banks increased their interest rates and I signed up for the UOB One high interest savings account and got the UOB One card together with it. And that marked the start of my kind-of-annoying experience with the card.

1. I misread "statement month" as "calendar month", and missed out on the first quarter's cashback.

Considering I had this card before and was NOT new to credit cards, this was stupid of me. But that was also because the DBS Live Fresh card cashback was calculated based on calendar month, and somehow I had thought UOB had also changed their terms. But anyway, this sort of forebode my poor relationship with the card lol.

2. EZ-link card transactions are often posted late, even up to 5 days late. So one of my transactions did not make it within the month I intended it to, and I also "lost" the cashback. UOB was nice enough to accept my appeal though, since it was my first time. So I did still get the cashback for that month.

This is not the card issuer's fault I know, but because cashback was based on quarterly spending, so having to give up 3 months of cashback which I could have earned elsewhere was pretty annoying.

3. Refunds count for the statement month instead of the actual transaction, so I lost cashback for another quarter!

So this one pulled the trigger for me, because I had literally spent sufficiently for the quarter, but because I had a refund for a previous transaction from a different statement month, they disqualified my cashback. With regards to the refund, it was for an air ticket and I knew I was going to get a refund so I had spent extra for that statement month in order to hit the $500 minimum spend if I excluded the air ticket transaction. However the refund was credited in the next statement month so this deducted from my spending in that month, disqualifying me from getting cashback for that whole quarter.

So they called me to try and convince me to keep the card, but I was done man. Some other card issuers would offer an additional cashback to keep their clients, but UOB didn't so obviously I cancelled without thinking twice. And in retrospect I am really quite glad I decided to part ways for good. Like we are never ever getting back together haha. The card is just too much commitment and risk, plus I can only get/use the cashback in the following quarter.

Yep so that's that, just wanted to document the experience and I hope it can help some people decide on whether to (not) sign up or keep/cancel the card.

TTFN~

2024 New Year Resolutions

2024-01-22T02:59:00.000-08:00

A little late because #life, but here it is!

Health

Do 20-30s handstands every day.

Stretch at least 5min every day.

Sleep at 10 - 11pm.

Go for yoga at least once a week when mil is here.

Nature walks at least once a month.

Baby

Teach him to ride the bike.

Get him off diapers.

Wean him off breast milk.

Read a book to him every week.

Planned Breaks

Take leave from 25th Dec - 31st Dec. (Felt really good in 2023, but also depends on where mil will be.)

Travel at least once a year (not during Christmas).

Celebrate our birthdays. (Haha, because I've always been so lazy to.)

Hobbies

Read at least one Chinese classic novel.

Home Enhancement

Reorganize cupboards so that we can find stuff more easily.

Plan a kid's gym.

Elemit Yoga

Plan our first yoga retreat.

Not sharing my financial goals since I feel it's a little too personal.

TTFN!

Reviewing my 2023 New Year Resolutions

2023-12-31T02:16:00.000-08:00

Today's post will be a review of how well I have achieved my 2023 New Year's Resolutions. The original resolutions are in black, while my review is in blue.

Baby

- No phones during meal times (this is really tough at times because there're peak periods with short deadlines, but I have been successful for 75% of the time so far)

More or less achieved. Perhaps 85%?

- Go swimming at least once a month

Failed miserably. Did not go at all, except when we went to Sentosa with my in-laws.

- Do some acro/exercises with baby at least once every week

We didn't do this every week, but we did unlock some milestones and baby A can balance on my hands. He loves it.

- Read library books/sing to bb every day

We didn't use library books, but we had picture cards that we used towards the end of the year. A's starting to talk and he can say quite a few words like 奶奶、狗狗、猫猫, bal (hair in Hindi), pan (as in pani, for water in Hindi), milk, Nah (for Narayan hahaha), poo poo, pee pee, dog, jaan, oh no (hahaha), ball ball.

Finances

- Re-organize my finances (I have already created a template based on the youtube channel "Lisa's Adulting in Singapore"'s excel sheet. Go check her out if you're new to personal budgeting and financial planning!

Done 100%.

Health

- Go on nature walks at least once a week

Failed, but we do walk downstairs frequently.

- Stretch at home every day

Failed, but at one point in time when MIL was here I did yoga classes at least once a week.

- Sleep by 10 - 11pm every day

85% of the time. So I think pretty good.

- Plan breaks for the whole year (e.g. holiday trips, birthday celebrations, festivities)

Hubs helped to plan MIL's birthday. I think we had a few proper celebrations (towards the start of the year) and I also got Christmas presents for the nieces & nephews. We also had an awesome Penang trip.

Elemit Yoga

- Create new website (I have already started so yay! But I still have to wait for the website SSL certificate to be approved...hope it will be approved by tonight...)

Done, but we will be switching back to the old website since the new hosting provider is more expensive without the promo codes.

Home

- Re-organize the wardrobes so that my MIL can have one wardrobe to herself. So terrible right, she was here for months but we only managed to give her one drawer...so that definitely has to change lol.

Done, but I'm improving the organization with more plastic drawers since there are just too many things. With the drawers it would also be easier to find stuff.

- Paint the door frame (I had put this off because I fell prego and didn't want to inhale the toxic fumes.)

Done.

Personal Skills

- Learn to make vegan almond cookies

Done. I even learnt to make kueh lopez and also went on a men's haircutting course.

I think in general I did quite well? I rate myself 85-90%. This New Year's Resolution thingy is really quite useful and I shall do my 2024 list tomorrow!

TTFN~

Cashback Hacks (Online Groceries)

2023-04-17T21:16:00.003-07:00

Sharing my collation of cashback-earning techniques/hacks. Note that I am not a high spender so these hacks are more suitable for middle-income earners and some might even be suitable for lower-income earners. I settle the bills for my whole household and sometimes my parents as well so I am able to meet some of the credit card spending limits for most months.

Online Groceries (Fairprice, Giant, Redmart, Shopee)

Live Fresh DBS card (5% Online Spend Category) + Shopback (Cashback)

I do not purchase Shopback vouchers if I want to hit the minimum spending for my Live Fresh card. (I doubt Shopback voucher spending is eligible for Live Fresh card's 5% cashback, but please let me know if you have tried and got cashback!)

Eg. I paid $61.17 worth of groceries from (Fairprice Online) with my Live Fresh card and got 5% credit card cashback and additional $1.58 cashback from Shopback. So total cashback is $4.64. That's 7.59% of my total spending.

UOB x Amex Absolute (1.7%) + Shopback (Voucher [payment by Grabpay] + Cashback)

If I have already hit my Live Fresh card limit ($400 for online spends and $600 for minimum spending) then I switch over to this option. It's a good way to earn Grab points too!

Eg. I paid $50 for Fairprice Shopback vouchers with my Grab wallet (which earned me 300 grab points), and $15.92 with my UOB Absolute card which got me 1.7% cashback. This means I spent $65.92 in total and got Shopback cashback of $2 (Shopback voucher cashback) and $1.60 (Shopback click through), and $0.27 credit card cashback. As I used the same credit card for my Grab wallet top-ups, that's an additional $0.85 (assuming $50 grab wallet top-up). So total cashback is $4.72. That's 7.16% of my total spending.

Pretty great right! Fun fact, I got my first $10 shopback cashback from Dee Kosh's referral code. Yep the influencer who went to jail for sexual offences. Anyway if you're new to shopback, you can use my referral code: 2ojDyz.

Simple and healthy vegan breakfast ideas

2023-04-02T22:04:00.001-07:00

Today I'll be sharing some of my all-time favourite breakfasts that are vegan and healthy. The main principle that I abide by is to be as unprocessed as possible, yet easy enough to do. If something is too tough or expensive and people cannot stick to it then even if it were the healthiest option, it wouldn't be feasible. So you will still find some processed foods in my list, but I try to keep it at a minimum.

Also there are a lot of misconceptions as to what 'healthy' means, but health is a balance and it depends on your lifestyle as well. I have had people tell me that they think butter is fine, and you know with keto becoming popular these days it's difficult to rebut. But the person who told me this had breast cancer, fibroids and liver cysts so I'm convinced that her definition of "healthy" really isn't. There are many people who share their diet and health issues online and everytime I see it they're eating things like cakes, seafood platters and fried food devoid of much green veggies. And they also say that they're on medications for things like endometriosis. So for me the connection is clear but perhaps they can't give up their lifestyle or just haven't realized the connection? I'm not saying that they have to go vegan like me, but honestly their diet is really unbalanced and you've got to have really great genes in order to avoid the inevitable.

Another thing to note, I am an office worker and even though I walk to and fro from work every day and do yoga classes about once a week and some stretches on my own at home, I am still rather sedentary. So if you require more protein or calories for your lifestyle, do modify them accordingly. However, I'm currently also breastfeeding so I believe that the diet I have is rather rich and balanced in nutrients since I've got a pretty good supply. So without further ado, below is my list of healthier vegan breakfast ideas:

1. Sweet potatoes with squeezed lime and herbs

Sweet potatoes boil fastest in a pressure cooker. You don't have to peel them before boiling because the nutrients will escape if you do so. When they're done, the skin comes off easily. You can also bake them for 45min - 1h at 230degC but it's a longer wait.

For garnish, you can use any herbs like paprika powder or some of those premixed Italian spices. Powdered form is preferred. I avoid premixed Indian spices because besides the spices, they also add other stuff like preservatives or anti-caking agents.

2. Guacamole with wholemeal bread.

Just mash the ripe avocados, add tomatoes, onion, garlic, cilantro, salt, a bit of freshly squeezed lemon juice. So good I'm salivating as I write this. I don't like avocados on their own but I love guacamole.

3. Wholemeal bread with 100% nut or seed spreads.

Make sure they're 100%! A little bit of salt is fine because sometimes it's just really tough to find unsalted ones...I love Sing Long brand's black sesame spread and also Adam's brand peanut butter. You can go wild with this if you've got the financial means though. There are so many different brands and versions out there. Just remember to check the ingredients list and reject all those with unknown ingredients.

4. Green smoothies

Main ingredients would be spinach/any other dark green leafy veg that can be eaten raw, and omega 3-rich seeds like chia or ground flaxseed. Then add any fruits and plant milks for taste.

5. Instant oats with almond milk

I use Fresh Bean House brand almond powder and Quaker oats, add hot or warm water and voila. I stock these up at work and have it whenever I wake up late and can't have breakfast at home. Sprinkle some nuts and berries for added nutrition.

I'm not limited to the 5 options above, but these 5 are the quickest, easiest and tastiest to me. For those that require more time and effort, I shall share on another occasion. There are also some days when I just eat fruit. Fresh coconut on a sunny day is one example, or banana shake using bonsoy soymilk with ground flaxseed is also another top favourite in my home. Otherwise we have cut fruits but it's been raining a lot recently so I prefer a hot breakfast.

How much I spent on prenatal visits and giving birth to my son

2023-03-28T23:11:00.002-07:00

People think that raising kids is expensive and I agree that it is so in Singapore, but if you do your research and take good care of your health, it can be low cost just like how it should be. I'm sharing my experience and the amounts that I paid to help parents out there who believe in doing their own research. As the saying goes, when we fail to plan, we plan to fail, and giving birth to a child is quite a huge thing and involves risks as well. I personally did a lot of research and watched many YouTube vids to help myself ensure a smooth birthing process, and even then there were things that went unexpected, or rather there were things that I didn't know how to expect. Imagine going into the whole process without doing any research at all! I gave people the links to my resources and when I asked them if they watched them, they said they didn't have time to. Some of them ended up with an emergency csection. It's not really about the money, but the traumatic experience due to the lack of preparation that makes childbirth scary. Many people think they just need to follow their gyne's guidance, but truth be told, 10 minute visits aren't going to be much guidance. I loved my birthing experience and I don't think it could have been as smooth without all the prior research. My baby came 5 days late and it could have ended up in an induction or even csection which I was trying to avoid. So moral of the story, do your research!

Anyway, today's post is mainly about my expenditure for prenatal visits and labour. It shows how childbirth can be cost effective if you do your research.

Disclaimer: I do have medical background since I'm a TCM physician (I do not specialize in gynecology though), which is why I skipped quite a few visits and dared to override some of the Doctor's instructions.

Number of prenatal visits: 6

I got a referral from the polyclinic around 11 weeks or so, then visited NUH (subsidized) for weeks 18, 19, 22, 23, 32. By right you should go before week 12 for your first scan in order to get an accurate EDD, but the polyclinic gave me this date and I didn't bother to change it. On hindsight maybe I should have asked for it to be changed since the Dr got my last menstrual period wrong the first time. I made him change it but I'm not sure if he changed the hospital visit accordingly. But I could only realize all this on hindsight since it was because my boy was late that I concluded it was due to an inaccurate dating scan.

Total spending for pre-natal visits: $426.20 (From medisave)

I didn't do any screens for Down syndrome since I'm low risk, and I skipped most of the urine tests. Only did it the first time (which I felt is the basic) and one more time when my belly was much bigger (32 weeks). But I had to keep asking for refunds since they key it in automatically. It's not a lot of money, but it was during covid and I didn't like squeezing with many others in a small unsanitary space.

I also did the tetanus jab (week 19) but skipped flu and covid. I didn't take any supplements from the hospital since my diet is very balanced. I skipped OGTT and GBS screening as well.

I did one blood test (antenatal screen) on my first visit, one dating scan (week 19), one FA (detailed) scan (week 22) and one growth scan (week 32).

Total spending for labour: $980.87 (From medisave)

The amount includes the A&E attendance fee which is common procedure (I went there in a taxi). I was under NUH subsidized class C ward. But the ward was full so they moved me to class B2 for the first night and moved me back the second day. Before labour I had to do an ART and PCR which was fully subsidized. Labour was done unmedicated but they stitched a tear and put me on oxytocin drip + jabbed me with oxytocin (which I actually didn't require but it's their protocol). They also gave my boy a vit K jab (they never used to do this in the past but now it's part of standard protocol). There were also a few other tests and jabs done for baby but I think these were either fully or heavily subsidized.

So in the end I had no cash payment. It was ALL from my medisave. Total paid from medisave was $1,407.07.

But prenatal visits had to be paid upfront and they would only reimburse post-delivery. We also have to settle the medisave payment stuff when I was warded post-delivery, but I didn't realize I had to do so (lol blur lah) and settled it via email afterwards.

So those are the costs I incurred for my prenatal visits and delivery. "Free" because of medisave and prior research done. You might think it's because I took certain risks, but childbirth is never risk free. And not doing research beforehand puts you under even more risk. Of course, don't listen to anything and everything under the sun, weigh the risks vs benefits and consult professionals if you are unsure of anything. The gov is already paying so much for us, shouldn't they provide the basic service of answering our healthcare queries?

Tips for Breastfeeding

2023-03-27T02:53:00.000-07:00

I've had a pretty successful breastfeeding journey so I'm here to share it! I breastfed since baby A was born (no formula added because I had a really good supply - since start of 2nd trimester I was leaking already lol) and now baby A is 5 days away from 14 months old and I'm still breastfeeding him 2 - 3 times a day and 0 - 2 times at night. Planning to continue till he is at least 2 years old since that's what WHO recommends. Other than that, I love how my body is naturally built to feed my baby and I think it's a really enjoyable experience. Oh yes, I latched 99% of the time during the first 6 months as I had to pump milk whenever I had to teach classes or handle full-day work events. Now that baby is on solids, I latch 100%.

I'm not going to list down the benefits of breastfeeding because that was not the main reason I breastfed. I honestly did it just because I felt it was the most natural thing to do and I always believe following nature's design would be the easiest and fuss-free. But I know many women don't agree and kinda have a love-hate relationship with breastfeeding, but I think it's partially because they pump and waking up to pump and also washing pump parts plus spilling milk and having a fussy baby who doesn't finish their milk can be really frustrating. And it feels even worse when they've read that breast milk helps to boost baby's immune system and yet baby still keeps falling sick. I believe there are many reasons for this, like sending to infant-care at a young age which exposes baby to much more pathogens, and also pumping instead of latching also makes a difference since the act of latching also transfers the good bacteria on mummy's skin to baby, and also soothes baby - aka baby is less stressed in this big scary world which also lowers their immune. But I'm not here to judge, just here to share and hopefully help those who face obstacles when breastfeeding as I had a relatively smooth one.

Also one thing to note - I am vegan. Many people think vegans are malnourished, but I'm very particular about my diet and I am also supplementing vitamin B12. If you cook your meals at home or have the financial means to order vegan food (it's expensive and not exactly/always that tasty...), then you can definitely lead a healthy vegan diet that is sufficient to fuel your breastfeeding journey!

Diet - Great milk boosters

The following is what I ate/drank during and before the birth of my baby:

Home-made soymilk
Home-made cashew milk
Home-made cashew + soymilk (I put both cashew and soybean into the machine)

I used Joyoung soymilk machine which I absolutely love. They're quite a renowned brand and I ended up recommending it to many of my family, friends and colleagues.

Coconut (ordered from Opentaste)

I drank this mostly in my 3rd trimester and after confinement. During confinement I felt it was too cold so I think I only drank it once or twice during confinement.

Rice

Yes, I ate 2 plates of rice for every meal for the first 6 months after giving birth. That was when baby A was solely on breast milk. After baby A transited to eating solids, my supply came down so my appetite also dropped.

Persevere through the first 2 weeks

Yes it is normal to feel pain, and it's also sort of a good thing because baby is sucking hard and well. Some people use nipple shields to ease the pain, but that's a huge no no! The nipple needs to be able to sense baby's suckling in order to send signals to the body to produce more milk.

Some tips to cope with the pain:

Switch between boobs to give the other side a rest. It also helps to balance the amount each side produces. Some people latch one side and baby becomes full and they end up not latching the other side. You can unlatch halfway and change sides. Otherwise remember which side was latched and latch the other side during the next feed.
Don't assume baby is always hungry. If you are producing milk (aka milk comes out when you pinch your nipple), and baby just latched an hour ago, baby is most likely crying due to other reasons. Try other options first - check diapers, burp, baby wear. Sometimes baby just wants to feel secure and close to you. Latching gives them security, but baby wearing is also another great way to make them feel secure. Yes you and baby will perspire cuz it's so hot hahaha. But treasure this time because once they know how to walk they don't really want you to carry them anymore. Plus they are still light at this stage so invest in a good cloth wrap and learn how to baby wear. The learning curve is steep at the start but it is an amazing feeling to baby wear. Some people get those konny wraps that are pre-tied. It's easy to use but doesn't grow with baby. If you can afford both, get both - konny when you're outside and cloth wrap at home.

Coping with engorgement

I've never gotten mastitis but I was engorged in the earlier months (within 3 months or so). It's actually a good sign especially during the first week since it means you are producing more and more milk! But leaving it alone can lead to mastitis (fever and even more pain and even pus formation in severe cases). Hence here are some tips to prevent mastitis from happening:

Reduce supply boosting foods (see above)
Drink enough water (some people don't drink water during confinement, but you can always make your confinement drinks more dilute)
Use different latching positions/baby holds. Different positions allow baby to suckle from different glands. Baby is the best pump.
If baby is not hungry and doesn't want to suckle, use a haakaa to manually suck out some milk, just enough to reduce the discomfort. Don't empty the boob with your electronic pump. Emptying the boob gives your body the signal that baby can drink so much, and over emptying the boob gives your body the signal that baby wants more. So you will end up with an oversupply and higher risk of engorgement. Don't worry of reducing your supply, in fact we want to reduce the supply by a bit in order to prevent engorgement and possible mastitis. Mastitis will reduce your supply greatly and we want to prevent that!

Hope the above tips come in handy for some of you! I will try to update if I recall anymore tips.

Trust Yoga ex-instructor fined $4,000 for molesting woman during lesson

2023-03-17T00:52:00.000-07:00

One great example of how locals bully foreigners in Singapore. I am pretty sure the instructor just wanted to get out of the situation ASAP because if he didn't plead guilty like the other instructor Raj, he would probably be stuck in Singapore without a job for another 2 plus years like Raj (Raj's case came up in the news in 2021 and is still pending). But because he didn't want to waste his time which costs more than $4000 (lol anyone can earn more than $4000 in 2 years), obviously he would rather plead guilty and find a job in another country.

Taken from the Straits Times article:

"Without asking for permission" - these things are based on the style of practice. In fact Trust is known for using a very hands-on approach. Not sure why the woman didn't know this because they had mentioned they are very adjustments based. Also one-on-one training is even more so, otherwise why you pay so much if you don't need the adjustments? Certain deep practices do require adjustments and support. And based on the logic of asking for permission first, then that time when I was going to deliver my baby I can sue NUH for wanting to inject Vitamin K into my baby without asking for permission properly right? I can sue them for wanting to measure my cervix without properly asking for permission right? They just said they were going to do this and this, but didn't ASK me if they could do it. It was only when I asked them what Vit K was for then they slowed down and explained to me, and even said they didn't have the statistics of the benefits vs risks. If I didn't ask then they would just say it's my silent consent is it?? If they were going to inject something into my baby as standard protocol, shouldn't they have at least given me the pamphlets about it and EXPLAINED to me BEFORE I gave birth instead of after? Also the midwife had already measured my cervix, then 2-3 min later the doctor also came and wanted to measure my cervix. Can't he just ask the midwife? So I said hey the midwife measured already so he said okay no need to measure again. Almost kena rape you know if I didn't stop the dr in time. So many unnecessary procedures. AND they told me they would do skin-to-skin but the midwife left my baby on the counter top FOR NO REASON till I asked her to bring him to me. I even ASKED her why my baby was left on the countertop but she didn't reply. Is it because she "didn't feel like it"? But obviously I'm not so cunning to sue them because I know it's their SOP and Singapore's healthcare is just super overwhelmed so they can't cope with all the patients.

Anyway back to Amrit's case, a lot of times when you give verbal cues, the student can't understand also because they aren't that advanced practitioners. Even for advanced practitioners when one is tired you wouldn't even hear those verbal cues. Sometimes you ask the student to use their right hand they still go use their left. So why waste time giving so many verbal cues? Earn easy money siol, just talk only, and repeat many times since the student takes time to register the cue. Apparently the woman who sued Amrit is a certified yoga instructor. But if you look at her yoga poses posted on Instagram, they aren't even professional. All the wrong alignments and using the wrong muscle engagements...wonder which studio awarded her the certificate...So who is she to say that Amrit's adjustments are improper? Certain split poses also require adjustments that press on the upper buttock area otherwise how is the instructor going to press the student into the proper alignment?? Adjust also kena complain, don't adjust also kena complain. So leave Singapore better lor.

Not sure why the article can't be clearer about the pose they were practising. How frustrating! But funny how the woman can ownself count to 15 seconds and still be shocked lol. Anyway karma will bite that woman back in her huge unavoidable buttock.

Where To Get Baby Vaccinations

2023-03-07T21:04:00.003-08:00

I've been learning a lot from other mummies and also from my own experience with regards to baby vaccinations, so I'm gonna share and record what I've learnt here!

So if you're a mum, I'm sure you have seen this image:

This is the most up-to-date schedule, which may be different from the one in your baby's health booklet. I guess they change it up according to the newest research. The jabs are more or less the same, just that the updated schedule lets babies be vaxed a little later for the first 6 months and they added the varicella (chicken pox) vaccine into the new schedule.

Where to get vaxed

There are a few options, all of which are free for Singaporeans as long as they are under the government's immunization scheme (aka those listed in the chart above):

Polyclinic - Newborns can walk in, but subsequent visits are by appointment. If you fail to make an appointment, get ready to be turned away because it's just too crowded to squeeze you in!
GP - If you are lazy like me, don't want to bother with making online polyclinic appointments and don't have a polyclinic within walking distance of your house, then this might be the better option for you. Yes, they're usually free as well (definitely for those that accept CHAS card since they're affiliated with MOH), but you might want to call up ahead of time to check if they have the vaccines available. In my case, I couldn't find a GP that had the MMR vaccine, so I used the next option.
Also, they often don't do the developmental screenings, which occur at 4mths, 12mths and 18mths. So you can always go to the polyclinic for these 3 checkpoints. Another issue with this option is that YOU have to tell the doctor what you want. For example, they won't ask if you need paracetamol in case baby has a fever. If you want to be prepared, then you have to ask for it yourself. However polyclinic will give you all these things (not free but highly subsidized). Otherwise if you are like me and don't like to use medications on your baby, then learn paediatric tuina. I've been using it for my baby and so far (he's 13 months at the moment) he hasn't needed any medications (touch wood).
Door-step vaccination service affiliated with your personal insurance - I know that GE and AIA offer this service, but I don't think Prudential has though (let me know if they do!) AIA used to have one that did the developmental screenings but they changed to another provider that doesn't offer it. This option was pretty straightforward for me as I just had to inform my agent and give him images of my baby's health booklet and he helped me to book the slot. I used this after I found that the GPs near me didn't have the MMR vaccine. However I know of some people who don't really trust their transportation and storage methods, especially for the MMR live vaccine, hence they end up choosing the polyclinic route instead.

Optional vaccines

Rotavirus
Chicken pox
Influenza

I didn't get these since they were optional (my boy doesn't go to school so he is low risk), but you can let the nurses know if you don't want to take them. Otherwise most of the time, especially for the polyclinic route, they will assume you want them or at least offer them. They might even ask you why you don't want to take them.

Vaccination Combinations

2 months (1 or 2 jabs + oral): 6-in-1, or if the GP only has 5-in-1 and hep B, then baby gets 2 jabs. Rotavirus (oral, optional)
4 months (2 jabs): 5-in-1 + PCV. According to the nurse, PCV hurts more.
6 months (2 jabs): 6-in-1 + PCV (I know some mums who did influenza jab at 6 months, so it could be 3 jabs for some.)
12 months (2 or 3 jabs): This has a lot of variation, and most babies get rather high fever and even rash. For me I didn't take varicella, just PCV, followed by MMR one week later. My boy didn't get fever so phew! If you do varicella + MMR, it's 2 jabs. If you do varicella + MMR + PCV, it's 3 jabs. Other mums told me that the polyclinic nurse said you could do PCV at 15 months, so if you don't want all 3 vaccines at once, you can postpone the PCV to 15 months. Or do it 1 week earlier at the GP's like me.
15 months (1, 2 or 3 jabs): Varicella + MMR + PCV (3 jabs)/ Varicella + MMR (if you already completed PCV at 12 months; 2 jabs)/ MMR (1 jab, if you opt out of varicella since it's optional)
18 months (1 jab): 5-in-1

Other things to note

If your child has an infection (e.g. cold, flu or stomach flu etc), you have to postpone your vaccination appointment for 1-2 weeks later. Polyclinics wouldn't do the developmental screenings separately either. So don't waste your time going down if your baby has the sniffles, unless you need to get some medication!

How Much a 26 Year-old Spent on Common Large Household Items

2023-03-05T01:02:00.002-08:00

Okay I’m no longer 26 but these were things I got when I first got my place in 2020. For context, at that time I lived in a 3-rm HDB with my hubby and 2 cats. Now we still live with our cats but my mil often stays with us and we also have a 13 month-old toddler. We also cook most of our 3 meals.

Fridge: $387 (Delivery included)

Brand and Model: Midea MD212, 2 door fridge, 209L

Bought from: Goh Sin Huat Electrical Pte Ltd (Lazada)

Warranty: 12 year warranty on compressor, 2 year warranty on parts

Even though it only has a fair energy efficiency rating, it has an annual energy consumption of 322kWh, which is lower than any of the other fridges I saw. In fact there aren’t many small fridges with high energy efficiency ratings. I didn’t need a big fridge at that time so I settled for this. My electricity consumption is also much lower than my neighbourhood and national average. (Perhaps also because we don’t use aircon.) However at the moment for my family of 4, I am starting to find it a little squeezy because I often buy produce in bulk from open taste. Good thing about this though is that I’m forced not to over buy. But with government subsidies for energy efficient appliances, I’m tempted to upgrade to a slightly bigger one, hopefully there will be models that fit in the same space!

Ceiling Fan cum light: $189 (Free delivery, installation & disposal)

Brand and Model: FANCO B-STAR, 52in

Bought from: Kaze Lighting (Shopee)

Warranty: Lifetime warranty on motor, 4-year on-site warranty on parts

I bought this in Dec 2022 for my living room but got other similar but smaller ceiling fans for my bedrooms. They all cost around the same price, but this seller was recommended by another mummy and just nice they were offering free installation. Usually installation would cost another $40-50. It would cost more if you didn’t already have existing electrical wiring or if you had a high/false ceiling. I absolutely love ceiling fans with light especially for small spaces like mine. No need to get additional standing fans that look terrible and waste space or worry about my son toppling it over. The wind is also strong, I usually put them on 1 or 2, at most 3.

Main Gate + Front Door: $1098 (Installation & disposal included)

Model:

3’ x 7’ Non-fire rated laminate main door, stainless steel hinge, magnet stopper, peep hole, grip press lock
3’ x 7’ Mild steel gate, double panel, lever mortise lock, 30cm (height) bottom panel, unit number plate with unit number

Bought from: Door Lab (Blk 1016 Geylang East Ave 3 #02-159)

Warranty: 1 year

I got a lot of compliments for my gate and door, even the neighbour came to ask where we got the set from. But I noticed some parts of the gate becoming rusty, not sure if it’s the same for others who got from different suppliers?

Curtains and Blinds: $630 (Delivery & Installation included)

Model:

51’ x 51’ Black blinds, tape, wood (living room)
64.5’ x 72’ Grey-purplish shimmery fabric, 1 layer, non-light blocking (master bedroom)
53’ x 65’ + 48’ x 65’ Gold fabric (same as above), curve track (utility room)

Bought from: Ace curtains and furnishing (Doorstep)

Warranty: 2 year onsite warranty

I really love the choices we made for the curtains and blinds. I was against getting Ikea’s curtains as I found them difficult to manoeuvre and there weren’t many nice designs. I almost considered DIY-ing but I couldn’t find nice fabric online and honestly I didn’t know how to go about fixing the curtain tracks or fixtures. So we went ahead with the customised ones and it really made our flat much more homely. My friend even thought I was in a hotel when she video-called me once and I had the utility room curtain behind me.

Wardrobes and Bench Drawer (set): $254 (wardrobe) + $264 (wardrobe) + $120 (drawer) (Not inclusive of delivery)

Model: STUVA kid’s wardrobe and drawer in baby pink

Bought from: IKEA

Warranty: none

Great for capsule wardrobes. Up till today my hubs still feels jealous that I chose the basket drawers haha. Because they’re kids-friendly they have rounded edges and I find that really cute and unique. But if you have a lot of clothes then it’s really a squeeze. I’m trying to keep things minimal in my house so having a small wardrobe forces me (us) to get rid of clothes that I don’t really wear.

Okay so that’s all for now! Just wanted to document my purchases so that I can have something to refer to in future when I want to renovate my place/ replace items/ move house and get new stuff/ perhaps sell them off in future haha. Hopefully some of you will find my post useful too if you’re purchasing home stuff :)

How Much I Spent On My Baby's 1st Birthday Party

2023-02-11T23:08:00.002-08:00

Recording the amounts I spent for my baby's 1st birthday here for future reference and also for those of you who would like to have some form of comparison! Disclaimer: I know it's more for myself than my baby and I know some parents would never "waste" the money on something like this because it's not the most practical thing to do. BUT the reason I wanted to do it was because:

I didn't have a proper wedding (lol one of my cousins-in-law was shocked I already had a baby since he didn't even know/forgot I had gotten married);
My relatives who had brought me up are old (70s and 80s) and I want to spend more time with them, especially because I had been away for 2 years when I was studying;
I want my baby to interact with my relatives too
I wanted an excuse to try some new vegan food!

Birthday Deco

Personalized canvas (Around A2 size): $50
I designed a milestone board on Canva and ordered from Optimal Print. Optimal Print has templates for collages so I used that and surrounded the milestone board image with my baby's photos. Do note that they do charge an additional delivery fee if you don't hit their minimum order; I ordered other canvasses together (amounts are not included in the $50 stated above) so I didn't have to pay extra for delivery. No regrets for this because I received a lot of praise and I also love the other canvasses I ordered. You might be able to find cheaper prices on Taobao though, except that Taobao's delivery time is sometimes not very predictable.

2nd hand preserved flowers from Carousell: $18
I didn't want balloons because I don't like popping them after the party and I find them such a waste of material. Even worse if they were helium balloons and float off into the sky and land up in the ocean days later... So I thought just get canvasses and preserved flowers that I could decorate my house with after the party. Also I only planned to share the photos on IG (wasn't planning to print them out) and that meant I could easily put IG stickers on them.

Vegan Food

7-course catered buffet from Nature Vegetarian Cafe: $664
(Delivery fee was $100 instead of $70 because of CNY period)

Food was pretty good and my guests liked it too! I asked for less salt and less oil as vegetarian food tends to be on the oily side. Ordered the min quantity of 30pax for 35 guests (including ourselves the hosts) and there were leftovers probably enough for 5-7 more. (Actually I realized 5 people didn't come so if they had come, the amount of food would have been just nice.) Dessert was devoured though. I liked their service too cuz they were easily contactable via WhatsApp. But one thing was that they didn't provide cups for the free drink oops.

Birthday Cake

Frozen cakes from Cake Botanica (one 6" and one 7"): $238
Healthy plant-based cake that didn't have the coconutty taste which I dislike. It's a well-made and beautiful cake actually, but I think the flavour isn't really my favourite. (It tasted really good when I had it at home though. I think the strong taste of the buffet kinda covered the taste of the cake.) I would have gotten chocolate but hubs doesn't seem to like chocolate-flavoured cakes. Also I wished the base was made of something else more similar to digestive biscuits. But it's really clean-tasting and I like that I'm putting healthy and nourishing food into my body. No after-party gelat feels. And definitely no guilt.

Venue

Condo function room: $25
(My parents' place was $30 but they had an event the same day so we couldn't book it, thus we ended up booking my cousin's place which turned out to be bigger and cheaper.)

We booked the room from 11am - 4pm (it's a fixed slot).
Food was set up by 1145pm (I told them to set up by 12 noon).
Party started at 12 noon (time written on my invitation).
Actually 1230pm because most guests arrived at that time.
Party ended around 3pm (Other than lunch, my party involved Zhua Zhou [I went around asking everyone which object my baby would pick], cake cutting, and photo-taking). We also had enough time to dabao the leftover food before the caterers came to pack up. (We told them to come at about 3pm, I think they reached a little after 3.)

Total damage: $995
(Spent about $33 per pax including ourselves as hosts; I think it's reasonable!)

2023 New Year Resolutions

2023-01-17T03:28:00.001-08:00

It's not about being cliche, it's about achieving goals! And honestly I haven't really done proper New Year Resolutions in the past. Now with baby around, I feel so much more constrained on the amount of time I have. The time I spend on frivolous things and additional work now all have a greater opportunity cost. I could have used that time better, for my health, for my baby, for my family. So I feel I need to set goals (aka my New Year Resolutions) so that I can prioritize better.

Another reason is also because of the Internet I guess...there are always people living "more perfect" lives than us. Of course I know it's not entirely true, and I'm grateful for what I have and what I have achieved so far, but I know I can make my life better if I just set proper goals instead of staying envious while scrolling through IG.

So here goes! There are already some things that I have incorporated into my life (since the year has already started) and I will be noting them down too so that I can continue maintaining/working on them.

Baby

- No phones during meal times (this is really tough at times because there're peak periods with short deadlines, but I have been successful for 75% of the time so far)

- Go swimming at least once a month

- Do some acro/exercises with baby at least once every week

- Read library books/sing to bb every day

Finances

I have always thought of myself as rather savvy with my finances, but ever since I met my hubs, I realized there is so much more I could do with making better use of my $$. And recently I chanced upon the Youtube channel "Lisa's Adulting in Singapore" and she's way better at organizing her finances and planning for big purchases such as renovation. In the past I was able to save up for my own house and renovation, but I did it in such a disorganized way. So I want to change that and reach my financial goals faster! I've a few financial advisors who help me with financial planning, but I always feel more secure if I do my own planning and budgeting at the same time, just like how I would rather take care of my own health and prevent myself from falling ill than rely on doctors when I fall sick.

Health

- Go on nature walks at least once a week

I really feel my health taking a toll especially because my eyesight has been getting poorer these days ): It's affecting my work but I want to take more holistic measures before relying on my new pair of specs...

- Stretch at home every day

- Sleep by 10 - 11pm every day

I am worried for this when my course starts at the end of Jan...but it will only be for 4 months (lol which is 1/3 of the year...)

- Plan breaks for the whole year (e.g. holiday trips, birthday celebrations, festivities)

I'm using Trello for this, so I can have an overview of when to take leave, when to plan work events etc such that they wouldn't clash with my breaks. The goal is to hit my work KPIs without having to use my phone at the dining table HAHA.

Elemit Yoga

- Create new website (I have already started so yay! But I still have to wait for the website SSL certificate to be approved...hope it will be approved by tonight...)

Home

- Paint the door frame (I had put this off because I fell prego and didn't want to inhale the toxic fumes.)

Personal Skills

- Learn to make vegan almond cookies

I think my list has gotten quite long LOL. So I'm going to end here and do a review probably in June? If I manage to complete all of the above by June then perhaps I can add more haha. WISH ME LUCK.

Healthy Vegan Food for Babies (6 months and up)

2023-01-01T02:30:00.006-08:00

Many of my family members, colleagues and friends have been telling me how amazed they are by my boy being vegan and yet he is still so strong and big-sized. It was funny because my mum's not vegan but when she heard these comments from my relatives, she said "horses also eat grass". Then my cousin also chirped in to say we are all pre-conditioned to think that meat makes us strong but actually strong animals like bulls, elephants and rhinos are all herbivores.

There were also some vegans who asked me for advice on what to feed their kids. So I thought why not just share what I've been feeding my baby. We have been feeding him like this since he was 6 months old and he is now 11 months old. Honestly all this food can be eaten by adults too, which to me is important because on days he doesn't want to finish everything, I can show him that I am eating it too and he will copy me and obediently finish his food. And there wouldn't be wastage too since when he really can't finish everything, I can also just finish the remainder. I don't like freezing food either as nutrients are destroyed in the process of freezing and reheating. And frozen food tastes horrible TBH.

Protein

Lentils (Dal) - there are many versions of this and we mix it up every day. Some days would be brown lentils, some yellow, some pink. I prefer using one type at a time as they take different amounts of time to soften. My favourite are moong dal (similar to taosuan taste) and brown dal. Moong dal also disintegrates if cooked long enough, so you don't have to puree it. Lentils are awesome because they contain certain essential amino acids that can't be found much in other vegan foods. They're also really high in iron and calcium.
Chickpeas - everyone knows they're super healthy so I won't go into detail. I love them because they taste great.
Kidney beans/ pinto beans

The thing about beans is that you have to soak them overnight (at least 8h), throw away the water, refill with fresh water and cook them in a pressure cooker till really really soft. Lentils don't have to be soaked but they should still be cooked in a pressure cooker. This is so that their lectins can be broken down to avoid leaky gut and inflammation.

Cruciferous Vegetables

I include these in my baby's diet via purees, which include the following ingredients:

Cauliflower/broccoli/cabbage/radish (these are the cruciferous vegetables)
Potato/sweet potato
Carrot
Tomato
Onion/apple (I prefer onion)

I love these purees because they are like soup spoon's creamy soups (so yes I eat them with my baby). When I first introduced this to my baby, he gobbled it up much faster than blueberries or lentils. If you're hardworking enough to handle corn, you can probably add that in as well. I don't like buying packet corn (or any other processed food) and I don't have time to handle corn so I have never included it in my baby's diet.

Green Leafy Vegetables & Omega 3

I include these in my baby's diet mostly via green smoothies:

Raw spinach (Phuay leng works too) - this is the main ingredient and should make up 75% of your smoothie
Ground flaxseeds/chia seeds
Bonsoy (Or water or home-made soymilk)
Banana
Orange

I also recently found one interesting combination that my baby loves:

Raw Tang Oh
Potato

Hope these come in useful for some of you! I will be adding more in future if I find more combinations/recipes that I like.

My 6 Day Travel Checklist (10 Month Bf Baby in Tow)

2022-12-23T23:49:00.006-08:00

Just got back from my Rishikesh, India trip (15th - 22nd Dec) and it was so chaotic! Even though it was only 8 days (6 days actually since 2 days were spent on the road/air) but soooo many things happened like some drama serial lol...But I guess that will be for another day since the chaos prompted me to make a travel checklist and this shall be the post. Because I have never been so disorganized in my life so I need to make a list so that the next time I travel I can just refer to this list.

Main Concept

Travel light, 1 small check-in & 2 hand-carry baggage (for 2 adults & 1 baby)
6 degC, dry climate
Does not include what is worn on day 0

Day 0 attire: undies + thermal wear + long pants + jumper + outer jacket; socks + covered shoes
Day 0 baby attire: thermal wear; socks (shoes just drop off); diapers

No baby food because I was bfeeding

Clothes

Undies x 1 (because I could wash my clothes there)
Sleepwear x 1
Outside clothes x 1 set (I wanted to buy new clothes too) [Make sure clothes are 2-piece to aid breast-feeding]
Hat x 1
Scarf x 1
Gloves x 1 pair
Socks x 1 pair
Spectacles

Baby Items

Diapers (3 per day, some to be bought there)
Clothes/thermal wear x 1
Jumper x 2 (Good to have those with hoodie, especially if your baby hates wearing hats)
Hat (Not required if jumpers/jackets have hoodies)
Socks x 1 pair
Baby carrier (we didn't bring a stroller)

Toiletries

Moisturizer (I wanted to get from India actually, but actually there wasn't much time to buy)
Toothbrush & toothpaste (Best to pack a new set because...Haha we forgot to bring since we brush our teeth in the morning and didn't pack them in earlier, so in the end we got from India...)
Shower gel & shampoo (I wanted to get from India too...)
Slippers
Nail clippers
Hand sanitizer
Insect repellent
Menstrual cup/sanitary pad/tampons (but can be bought in India too)

Food & Medicine

Bag of nuts x 2 (for first and last days' 5-6h road trips)
Diarrhea/vomiting meds (Or make sure there are clinics/pharmacies nearby - check their opening hours too!)
Empty water bottle (or just get bottled water in-flight/ from India)

Documents (includes online) & Stationery

Flight tickets
Passports (Don't use a passport cover because they always make you take it off)
Visas (30 days prior to travel/ at least 2 weeks before)
Immigration card (to fill online 2 days before arrival in Sg)
Necessary vaccine documents
Accommodation documents
Pen
House keys

Finances

Hubs was in charge of money but I brought my Amaze card in case I had to withdraw money from the ATM
Grabpay card details (This is available in-app but I wanted to list this down here because I could receive OTP via the grab app, which was a great thing. My other cards were linked to my phone sim and I couldn't receive OTP overseas. I think the cards could still work in-store [if they were activated for overseas purchases] but I couldn't make online purchases, which was important as I had to settle some Sg payments. Plus I didn't need them in-store since normal credit cards charge a high fee for foreign currency purchases.)
Ez-link card (I usually pay via Google Pay but my phone died on the way back.)

Appliances

Laptop & Charger (I wouldn't have brought it along if I didn't have to rush some work because it is annoying to take it out during immigration checks)
Phone & Charger
Overseas sim card
Travel adaptor

Also before leaving I had to arrange for someone to take care of my 2 cats so luckily I had a close friend to help💖

The Pain of Progression

2022-12-13T04:33:00.002-08:00

Been feeling quite a bit of a "quarter-life crisis" lately so I'm here to regurgitate/purge my emotions. It's really a good form of treatment man. People need to pen down their depressive or stressful thoughts more often, like get it out of their system and issues honestly feel much smaller when they're put into words/made tangible instead of just floating around in our minds. Our minds can be as huge as the universe, and it's so powerful that it magnifies our issues by a gazillion times.

So like a lot of other humans, I too compare myself to others. It's unavoidable. At age 28, I see others who are about my age and have their stuff nicely organized. I'm talking about their homes, their kitchens, their ig profiles, their businesses, their journals etc. But I feel so lacking in these aspects. I sort of have a good enough eye for aesthetics, but I can't really create. It's easy to say oh this is nice that is nice, but to actually make or put together something nice, it's really tough...So for example, if you want me to think up a design for my journal or my house, the end product just doesn't come up to par with what I like. I need to copy others, which honestly isn't a very easy thing to do either unless you know what apps or tools they use. And sometimes I do manage to copy, but it ends up looking different and not really what I want. And one thing ironic is, I don't really like to copy too. So I end up NOT copying and trying to do things in my own way, and the end product just looks bad. Aiya I think I just need to find easier stuff to copy...Put my ego into a box and accept that I am not at such a pro level to "create" yet.

I think I really just want my life to be more organized. I've got a work journal but I just can't pen down my to-do list in a nice format. I've colour-coded my stuff but it still looks all over the place...I want to de-clutter my house but it's just so hard to Marie Kondo everything when a lot of those things still bring joy or I have actual uses for them in future, but yet I don't have enough space to keep them. (Haha as I type this, I honestly feel that I'm just not putting enough effort into using the Marie Kondo technique...)

Another thing that has been keeping my heart jittery and all nervous is this project that I've taken up at work. I can't share much here as it is confidential, but I feel that others are too busy to care about it so I am almost single-handedly managing it, and I don't feel that I am doing a very good job due to my lack of experience...

And on top of that, I'm planning A's first-year birthday bash and a lot of things are still pending...OMGGGG how am I gonna complete everything AND make sure they are up to standard??? Jialat.

Lol. Anyway yeah. So life's been busy and it's just a very uncomfortable feeling when everything's just a WIP. Not sure if there are many out there who feel the same way? Or do you all just have your life in order haha. I say this because I see a lot of my friends having really well-organized houses and that's like a huge part of life already. Gosh I still have my job appraisal to complete lol. Yep so that's my life update...hope I can get the energy to plan and make things work/make things better. I guess it's 一步一步来 for now. I actually have so many ideas and plans in my mind too but there's only so much time one has, especially with a 10-month-old baby in tow.

TTFN!

So I almost got scammed of USD$3k the other day...

2022-06-18T04:10:00.006-07:00

Writing this to educate others on the techniques these highly organized scammers conduct their schemes.

So a few weeks ago some dude wished me "Happy Mother's Day" on Instagram and we started chatting (I do chat with random strangers if I find them interesting.) I noticed he invested in bitcoin so I asked him about it. Then from there he started to tell me how he was so rich and a CEO of an investment company at the age of 32. I told him I was interested to learn how to draw trend lines etc and he said he would teach me. (Of course most people wouldn't teach strangers online for nothing, but I just continued to chat and see what it would lead to. Have an open mind right?)

So he asked me to add him on Whatsapp but I said no because I only used Whatsapp for work. Then I asked him to add me on telegram instead. On telegram he started to teach me about trading using bilaxy. For some odd reason he kept wanting me to deposit money into it so that I could learn to trade in real time. I did some research on bilaxy and it had such poor reviews. Then I told him about it and he said he has been using it to trade and he didn't have any issues with it. Anyway I made an account with a password that wasn't used with any other account I had, just to take a look. And then I realised the bilaxy he was using was "different" from the bilaxy that I did research on. (As you read this you might be thinking omg why am I still talking to him...but let me explain that later). So the bilaxy he was using was apparently the "decentralized" type, while the bilaxy I researched about was the "centralized" version. If you are into crypto you will know that decentralized exchanges is less regulated. Some people don't like "centralized" exchanges because officials like the govt can regulate you. And this dude pointed out that having the govt regulate you is "scary", because they have "control" over your assets. (Haha in my head I was like, no I like regulations because the govt protects me - I am actually supportive of PAP lah.) Also, the bilaxy website had so many grammar issues. It's crazy how people can still get scammed even though the terrible grammar and vocabulary already shouts SCAM lol. Imagine if scammers actually had great English, how much more money they would actually make! (Lol me I almost got scammed, please read on to see how.)

But okay I just continued to chat with him but deflected his pushes to "trade in real time" by saying I was really busy with baby (which was true anyway). Then he changed his tactic and told me that Ethereum liquidity mining using DApps would be more suitable for me. So this is the one that "got" me, even though the site was full of bad English. Because I could actually leave my assets in my Coinbase wallet and the DApp would track how much USDT was inside my wallet and give me ETH dividends based on that. Sounds quite safe right since the USDT was in my wallet?! So I deposited 500USDT and paid a small network fee of less than SGD$10. (This is probably how they get your wallet address). And I actually did get dividends! So I thought it was legit, and wanted to pump in another 3k USDT because the more you add the higher your dividends. But luckily my skepticism got the better of me and I did more research about this liquidity mining and found this video which saved my $$:

So after that, I quickly withdrew all of my money from coinbase wallet. The dividend I earned was actually enough to cover my expenses so I didn't actually lose money. (You have to withdraw from the DApp too, and luckily I managed to withdraw the first time.) But there was still some dividend left inside after I withdrew the first time, and when I tried withdrawing the second time, the value was stuck inside even after 24h (which is the max duration they said was required for processing). I decided to forgo that second withdrawal since it was not much anyway, and deleted coinbase wallet from my phone. Phew!

You might think I was naive but other than these, he was actually giving pretty good financial advice. I sold off some stocks and made money before the market dipped because of his advice. But now he told me I can do those so called "sales people" jobs - basically another scam type of job (or MLM-ish thingy, so it's not exactly a scam and you can actually make money off it but only if you recruit others because that's how you get the most earnings). But it really is an amoral job since at the bottom of this "MLM hierarchy", you have to write fake reviews for shops on Taobao, Amazon, Lazada etc. Sad right, a lot of the ratings you see online could actually be fake. We consider this amoral, but actually expensive commercial ads do the same thing lol. #capitalism But this is worse really, because they trick people into joining since you have to "invest" a small amount to join their "membership" before you are allowed to fake-buy stuff to write reviews.

Also one funny thing I noted about that dude was that whatever topic I raised would somehow go onto his instagram feed. I asked him if he played any instrument, he said guitar, and then the next day he uploaded a vid of himself playing guitar. (It was terrible though). I asked if he invested in Bear Bricks, he said no but the next day he posted photos of some. Funny right?

So beware! Do your due RESEARCH and DIVERSIFY your investments wisely. Get a proper job and if anything is too good to be true, it probably is!

TTFN <3

Love thy house

2022-03-06T07:53:00.003-08:00

So while everyone who is vaxed was using their Singapore Rediscover Vouchers enjoying staycations (and going overseas via VTL) during COVID, me the unvaxed could only stay at home. I guess I'm lucky that I am quite the zhai 宅 type so I wasn't really psychologically affected by it. #piscespersonality perhaps? But on top of that, my hubs is a really good homemaker. My room configuration has probably already changed 3 or 4 times... The living room has changed umpteen times already because the furniture is more minimal and less heavy. But when my hubs first suggested moving our queen-sized STORAGE bed which is already full of stuff, I thought he was nuts. And it's so troublesome!

But somehow the hubs is not afraid of trouble. Maybe because he has the strength to do it and he is motivated by how the new arrangement would look like so one day when I was feeling upset, he rearranged our room when I was still at work to surprise me. (He believes that having a clean house would make one feel happier.)

So this was how our room looked like originally (before our bed came):

We both like the colour pink (yeah real men love pink ahaha) so our master bedroom had one pink wall. It was based on some interior design inspiration that my hubs found online.

Then when our bed came, this was the first arrangement:

And you know with life...it got messy...Look at the mess on the floor and on the drawer table...And I am the mess on the bed. Yep we added a small black display shelf beside the bed.

Then the hubs decided he wanted to turn the whole bed around (this was the one he surprised me with):

Actually I really liked this orientation already because it made the room feel like a cozy cottage. You can't really see the whole room (because I wasn't thinking of blogging when I took this photo), but there is a clothes ladder to the left of the photo (it's out of the pic) which my hubs hates because I put so many clothes on it so he decided to change the configuration AGAIN. At first he made the bed face the window, but that meant our feet were towards South which isn't good Fengshui (haha) so he turned the bed around so that our feet faced North. But I didn't like it because half the window was covered and it would be a hassle to close the windows if it started raining. So he did this instead:

As you can see, these modifications occurred over a period of time...In the cat photo, you can see my hospital bag behind the stroller (I was in my third trimester).

This is my favourite configuration - it feels cozy yet spacious at the same time! You can't see our cupboards in this photo but it's to the right of the photo, and the clothes ladder that my hubs hates is hidden towards the right of the cot. I don't think any other configuration can beat this, but my hubs may prove me wrong again, like how I loved the previous configuration but he surprised me with this one.

My hubs said I should be super thankful to him. But I told him I should be thankful to myself for marrying him hahaha. And I don't need any staycation, home is where I love to be hehe.

Also some configurations of our soft toys:

I got rid of most of these...no idea where the hubs got them from (except for the right-most one, which I also kept).

Now we have these:

Haha from less became more.

TTFN!~

On some days it's difficult to stay on task...

2022-02-27T10:41:00.001-08:00

I love this stage of life that I'm at currently. Sort of working a little, but mainly staying at home, cooking and taking care of my 4 week old, watching him grow and learning more about him, and playing music and talking to him because it's good for his brain development. On the side I'm also watching educational videos (that may or may not help with my work - includes Russia/Ukraine conflict), doing some admin for Elemit Yoga, and doing my part-time studies, and also some miscellaneous stuff.

Yes it's quite a lot, but today I'm feeling kinda unproductive due to procrastination. I had been putting off my assignment for 2 days, and even though I completed it today, I did so only at 2+am. And for some reason I am still not sleeping since I'm writing this. Sleep is important to me and I feel quite bummed that I'm not sleeping on time today because I delayed the completion of my assignment. The procrastination delays everything. Tomorrow is going to start later because I'm sleeping late today. And sleeping late isn't good for my health either, which is so so important these days due to the rise in Covid cases + cuz I'm unvaxed.

But I feel I should still note things down here because it helps me organize my thoughts and also the things I need to do. Perhaps if my mind doesn't feel so boggled up because of the increasing pile of stuff I need to do, I'd be able to sleep better and also be more productive. I usually do it in my scheduler but it's getting disorganized in there because I'm just not that great at organizing stuff + things are piling up in there so I just need to sorta throw everything out here and reorganize them (perhaps according to priority).

1. My remaining assignments (I've got 2 left to complete till Wednesday).

2. Work PPT (perhaps to start on Thur).

3. Figure out where to add in personal training links and photos on our website.

4. Review work App (perhaps on Friday or earlier if I manage to complete my assignments ahead of time - but quite unlikely because baby is getting really clingy + I need to cook)

5. Select photos to print and actually print them (because I have been procrastinating for a super long time for this).

6. Check details for flights from India.

So those are the top 6 tasks I need to do. I do have others but these are probably the most important. And they aren't small tasks (except for No. 6 which is quite straightforward).

Also I recently chanced upon an app called Trello for work organization. I've yet to try it out because of time constraints, but soon!

Okay I better sleep now.

TTFN~