This is one article, i so think i should have written. About Marriage and its importance. now i am no sage on marriage, but this article so well connected. Aamir khan, Kudos!

Marriage is a terribly important part of life. It’s a partnership you form, a companion you choose, hopefully for the rest of your life. Someone who helps you, who supports you and vice versa. The way we view marriage and the way we approach it determines how our life could end up being.

Today, I want to largely address youngsters, because most of you who are older are already married and for better or worse have already made your choices.

In India we spend so much of our emotions, thoughts, time and money (that which we have, and that which we borrow), towards marriage. But do we actually spend all this time, effort, money and emotion towards marriage? I think not. In fact we concentrate all of these resources not on our marriage, but on our wedding day.

“Bade dhoom dhaam se shaadi,” is probably one of the most common phrases in India. There’s so much of emotion, thought, focus, all concentrated on the ‘event’: “How will I look on that one day?” “How will society perceive me and my chosen partner?” “What will they say about the wedding arrangements?” “What will they say about the invitation card?” “What will they say about the food?” “What will they say about the clothes?”

Now, this ‘they’ we refer to are our friends, our relatives and other people in society whom we are acquainted with, and whom we hope to invite. And most of our energy goes towards making this one day a success. Often, even our choice of spouse is in some way linked with the driving need to make the day perfect. Haven’t all of us heard these statements: “Meri beti engineer se shaadi karegi.” “Meri beti IAS se shaadi kar rahi hai.” “My daughter is marrying an NRI.” We imagine that people admire such choices, and their admiration makes us happy. We allow our choice of spouse to very often be dictated by how people will perceive us. But the hard truth is that ‘they’ are not going to spend the rest of their life with the groom or the bride.

Sometimes we simply choose the ‘khandaan,’ the family or the aura surrounding the family, and not the individual himself or herself. “My son is marrying so and so’s daughter.” “My daughter is marrying such and such’s son.” We tend to focus, not on the groom or bride but on the label attached to him or her.

Now let’s examine a few other important aspects of marriage.

Time

After we’ve spent the bulk of our time worrying about others’ perceptions, we spend tons of time deciding what to wear. We do intense R&D on honeymoon destinations. We spend time discussing arrangements, menus, guest lists. All of these are great cause for arguments. All this time is being spent in preparation for ‘the day.’ But how much time do we spend on the most critical decision — selecting the correct life partner? Who is the girl I’m marrying? Who is the boy I’m planning to spend the rest of my life with? Don’t we want to know them as human beings? Understand his or her nature, value system? Are we on the same wavelength? Is there compatibility? Does he or she have a sense of humour? Is this the person with whom I want to spend the rest of my life? Instead of taking ample time to make this very crucial decision, very often, marriages are fixed after just one meeting. “Chalo baat pakki hogayi. Muh meetha karo.”

In India, most marriages are arranged. We check on the prospective groom’s/bride’s family, caste, home, education, income, bank balance, appearance and complexion. But all of these things are purely superficial. Why don’t we utilise the same time and effort in understanding the human being we are about to (hopefully) spend the rest of our life with?

Should you agree to spend the rest of your life with someone just because he/she carries an attractive label such as IIT or MBBS? Is one marrying the person or the label? Shared interests, like-mindedness, companionship, shared sensibility, sense of humour — shouldn’t all this matter?

Money

We spend a lot of money on the wedding day. The rich spend beyond measure — each competing with the other in extravagance. The middle class or working class pours all its earnings and savings into the wedding. If you have the money, by all means decide how you want to spend it. But for those who are not wealthy, for whom every rupee earned is precious, for whom a daughter’s wedding means pouring everything you have earned, or saved, it means breaking fixed deposits, selling assets and taking loans. Instead of spending all that money on the wedding day, why not decide to take the amount set aside for the girl’s wedding and give it to her to use to kick-start her new life with her spouse? Instead of that lavish function, why not just have a simple, sharbat wedding and give the girl the money instead? It will be so useful for her life? I believe sharbat weddings are a great idea. Call as many people as you desire, serve them a soft drink and say thank you for coming and for blessing the newlyweds.

Have fun. Enjoy the day. Make merry. But with simplicity.

Youngsters, tell your parents, “We don’t want a big function. Let me use the money for something important that helps my life. Let me use the money to invest in building the foundation for a happy married life.”

Emotions

All our emotions are trained on ‘that day.’ What will happen on that day? What will people think and say? How happy will I be that day? Will the day be memorable? But instead, should we not be thinking of how we will feel for the next 40 years of married life? Let’s not barter one day of happiness for a lifetime of unhappiness. Our emotions need to be invested not in that one day, but in a lifetime.

Think about life ahead, not just that one day. Let’s give marriage the importance it deserves — in every sense, financial, emotional, mental. Let’s give it our time, emotions and energies to plan those years that lie ahead. Therefore, the key is the person you have chosen as your life partner. That is the only element you should be thinking of and no other. And please take your time over that decision. Understand, probe, check, go deep. The better you do this, the happier life is likely to be. Take the step of marrying only when you are fully satisfied about the character and temperament of the person you are marrying.

Dowry I am totally opposed to. This is a retrograde practice, and also illegal. Think about it — can a relationship, built on the foundation of money and greed, ever be meaningful or beautiful? Should we not invest in our daughter’s education instead of saving up for her dowry? Make her so accomplished and independent that she is capable of crafting her own future, and becomes the master of her own happiness. Then she won’t need a greedy, useless groom to complete her life. Let her marry a person who respects her. Let her marry a man who she believes is worthy of her. Whom she is happy to spend the rest of her life with.

Satyamev Jayate!

Knowing well, that most of my friends do not read The Hindu ( where the article is published), i deemed it necessary to republish the entire content.

Pooja, an attractive Marwari girl, lives life on her terms

… she settled for an engineer plus MBA type with a good Singapore job, a prospect meticulously arranged by a network of relatives. And that is how she ended up with a banking career and a failed marriage. (He snored, followed his mother’s dictum, lost heavily in the stock market and came home to slumberland). Pretty soon, she was out of there, with a lot of family support and very little alimony…

(Source : TOI )

Today’s woman. Who lives life on her own terms! She has put in no less effort than a man, in building her world, and wants to live it in her own way!

It is the Indian Man who still needs to come to terms with this fact. For long, for us Indians, women are supposed to be married off maximum by the age of 25, and working or not, are supposed to be taking care of all the household chores. That is how it has been, and it works perfectly in the favour of men.

What really tickled me, and interested me, were the reasons mentioned in the bracket for the failed marriage – He snored, followed his mother’s dictum, lost heavily in the stock market and came home to slumberland.

1. He Snored – Now is that such a serious offence that it leads to a failed marriage? You can just go to the next room to sleep, or maybe just get used to the snore sounds. Big Deal. What if you stay in a house close to the railway track, or the sea? You do get used to the Sounds of the train and the sounds of the Waves all night right?

1. Followed his mother’s dictum – it is called respect, and speaks volumes of his upbringing. The first lady in his life is his mother, and she has taken care of him since ever. She is now old, and deserves every bit of attention from him. So what if he listens to her? Should he not? If he does not, then that could be a very valid reason for the so called “failed marriage” not if he does!

1. Lost heavily in the stock market – The very foundation of a marriage is that the partner would be the support during both happy times and sad times. Now if he has lost heavily in the stock market, he is going through a bad time. If that makes it a reason for you to dump him, and make it more worse for him, God save him. The guy should actually feel lucky that it resulted into a failed marriage, rather than waiting for an even worse time. Now at least it is clear!

1. Came home to slumberland – Why is that a reason at all? Not coming home to sleep can be a reason! After a hard day at office, all that one wants is to retire to the bed. You, a working woman, of all people should understand this completely. And you term this as a reason for a failed marriage? What do you expect?

These are the reasons that the present day modern couples need to end their marriage! What a sham!!

His TV Show, Satyamev jayate has caught people’s imagination, and it is for the first time that someone has successfully integrated preaching with so much interaction and made it lively.

Airing it simultaneously on 8 channels, in 6 different languages, breaks all the barriers. This is a coup only Aamir could have managed.

Cost per episode – Rs 4 crore; money spent on marketing – Rs 6 crore; advertising sponsorship deals – anywhere between Rs 6-12 crore; show telecast – over eight languages on STAR TV Network channels and Doordarshan. Evidently, Satyamev Jayate on Star Plus is not just a debut experiment of Amir Khan’s ‘long-awaited’ television career. Neither is it the channel’s noble effort to offer something fresh to the much-bored Sunday television audience. Satyamev Jayate is just too huge a gamble, not just in terms of investments but also because it attempts to wake up the much-dead 11 am slot on lazy Sundays. (Source : Afaqs  )

I still remember those Sunday mornings, when I was a kid, when the entire family would sit around the TV, watching the Mahabharatha. The 11 AM slot was killed with the advent of commercial TV, and now Aamir Khan has brought it back to life with this show.

The marketing bit, you don’t need to talk about it, if Aamir khan is involved. As you see the stats above, 4 crores to make the show, and 6 crores to market it! Aamir truly understands the power of marketing.

The reach through TV is what is visible to most; the show producers have taken a step ahead and attempted to reach even the ones not connected.

The special screening was organised by Star Plus on community TV sets in villages like Bhingara and Kahupatta in Maharashtra; Chepa in Gujarat; Jhunkar in Madhya Pradesh; Tikeri, Lalpur, Sarauta and Maaniram in Uttar Pradesh. Most of these villages have a population of less than 5,000.

The initiative was taken to ensure that the show reaches all over the country as the show caters to the issues of common man. For instance, the first episode talked about female foeticide and its consequences. (Source: DNA )

Along with the Rural population, to tap the internet generation, the show is also present completely on the internet.

http://satyamevjayate.in/ has the videos of the complete show. Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/SatyamevJayate) page already has 674K likes, and on twitter.

With this omnipresence on every form of media, Aamir has ensured he reaches every touch point, to all Indians.

About the Show

With this show, Aamir attempts to make people aware of the problems plaguing the country, and sensitizing them of the plaguing problems with them.

The first episodes, aptly titled, Daughters are precious, dealt with the issue of Female foeticide in India.

The show began with some shocking stories of mothers who struggled to give birth to their girl child. It included the Story of a Woman, who was forced by her husband and in-laws to abort her female unborn child six times in a span of eight years, another story of a woman whose husband disfiguring her face by biting it, when she insisted on giving birth to a female child against his wishes.

It was also ensured that people do not brandish this as a rural phenomena, by showing facts which suggest that this occurred more in urban than in rural, along with a story of a doctor who was asked by her orthopaedic surgeon husband and in-laws to abort her girl twins just after 20 weeks of conceiving.

Laden with facts, from the latest census, it managed to add authenticity to all its claims.

The very next day of the show being aired, the Rajasthan Chief Minister, Ashok Gehlot urged the public representatives and other non-governmental organisations to take actions to stop illegal practice of female foeticide. An official reported that Gehlot also reviewed existing efforts taken by government against the issue. He also directed the officials to prepare a plan for a special campaign against female foeticide.( Source :Daily Bhaskar )

Aamir Khan, as promised on the show, met Ashok Gehlot over the issue of female foeticide.

The show has taken off well, and Female foeticide, which was an unknown topic to most Indians till last week, is now suddenly buzzing. People are aware! Will it result into anything positive? Will have to wait and watch.

Has the show done its bit?  Yes!

After watching the first episode, am looking forward to the 12 more episodes lined up ahead for this season, and more importantly the issues that the show would touch upon.

What, according to you, should be the next topic Aamir should be touching upon?

The CIA World Fact book, which is regarded as the global almanac of countries, lists down 221 countries in existence, and even that claims that it does not include a couple of countries that are not fully recognized. (Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CIA_World_Factbook)

8 billion people in the world, and counting, with each one of them, having their own story. How interesting? As someone who loves stories, I would love to listen to each one of them (Am I a good listener?) and know their way living.

Well, maybe i cannot do all, but at least I would like to touch the surface of the cultures present in the world, and the stories related to them. The structures, the monuments, the eating habits, the cuisines, the fashion, the way of clothing, the way of living, etc.. in short.. the story behind them. This is what traveling opens your eye to!

Why is it important to travel? Well, no it is not important. No one puts you on a gun point and forces you to travel. No! That would never happen. But travel you should. Why?

Traveling is an experience that provides one with a welcome break from the same old monotonous and hectic schedule of the day to day life! Different places, offer different cultures and traditions and diverse ways of living. These varied lifestyles, and habits of people, gives one an opportunity to take cue from them.

Traveling allows you to enter an altogether different world which in a unique experience in itself. Traveling helps you discover yourself, by allowing you to spend time with yourself, know about your strengths and weaknesses and do a self-introspection, away from all the worries.

Also, an unfamiliar environment provides a feeling of mystery to explore new things at every upcoming step.

Traveling is like reading a book!

Travel is full of pleasant surprises and discoveries. Travel is all the more important in the present globalized village world, where international trade and business become more important, and well the world is your market place. As said in FMCG Sales, you need to know your market very very well, and only then would you be able to sell.

It’s through travel, first and foremost, that we meet and understand the outside world. We can read all about other countries in papers and magazines or see them on television, but it’s remarkable how different places turn out to be when you actually visit them. The media feed us scare stories about those in other countries, but the reality is that most people in the world are searching for the same things we are – a better life, a better future for their children – and they’re only too ready to lend a hand to a fellow human being.

Somebody recently asked me, why do I love travel? Well, the reasons I could list are :

• To challenge myself
• To enjoy new experiences
• To rediscover my inner self
• To see new things, and to listen to new stories
• To experience new cultures
• To PARTY!
• Last, but not the least, To taste different cuisines

Thankfully, my job enables me enough to keep travelling and visiting different places all across the country. (Did you know that there is something called chaach Soda( butter milk Soda) that is widely sold in the Saurashtra region of Gujarat?)

So, now with the vacations season kicking in and everybody is queuing up to plan their next outing, and with radio too vying for some limelight (http://www.afaqs.com/news/story/33888_92.7-Big-FM-introduces-travelogue-format-in-radio ), I think this was the right time, to enlist this tab on my Sphere!

What more you waiting for? Get on to your copy of the Lonely Planet handbook, and get going! See you there, on your next trip!

The first quarter of the year closed day before yesterday, and yesterday a new month started. More importantly, it was the first of April. It was April Fool’s day guys!

Saturday, after a hectic week, was on for a hectic weekend. I had to work! After slogging all day, at about one in the night, I was rading some random articles, when this article popped on my Google Reader – http://mashable.com/2012/03/31/google-maps-8-bit/

This got me thinking about my blog, and how I have not written since ever now. One post in the last three months? This is like way below my lowest average in the last six years of the blogs existence!

Thoughts kept coming, and at 2:13 AM, lightning struck and a wonderful idea crossed my mind like a breaking star. I wrote.

As it is, I slept without finishing the article completely, and I Slept.

In the morning, the unfinished article’s glare was too much to bear, and I just completed it and posted it. Yes, I was pulling a prank for the first time ever on this blog!

Did I manage to pull it off completely? Well, partial success I would say. Did everyone fall for it? Not the ones who I meet regularly! But it was all in god humour.

Sorry guys, the post of me announcing my nuptial vows still have some time. I hope it was all taken in good humour, and in the spirit. Come on, April 1^st on a Sunday would come now only after six years! I had to leverage the day!

So, one more time everybody, NO! I am not yet “tamed”!

( That pic in the previous post, with a ring on a hand, was to drive authenticity and flicked from some random web image!)

This post here might take some by surprise, some by shock and most would hate me for announcing this here before telling them, but well it all happened so quick!

I’m getting married.

I have written countless number of articles about relationships, marriage and everything in between. I have written about love stories, love affairs and what not? Never ever thought the day I would be writing about my marriage, would be so soon. I always thought I still have a couple more romantic posts to go, before I actually tie the knot, but well fate seemed to have different ideas.

There are a lot of good arguments against marriage, and well who would know this better than me? I have been championing the cause for so long now! But well, as one of my friend who had recently got engaged mentioned – You just take that Gut call, and take the leap. Just, for this one time, you would have to trust yourself and just jump, and everything would be fine.

Listen to the inner heart and the small little voice from there and you would get your answer. I always laughed and rubbished the idea – now I guess I have started believing in that! Yes, Marriage still seems like this not-really-necessary incident in a perfectly going fun life of a twenty something (okay! Twenty five something) boy’s life. But well, for this one time, I would like to believe, that the grass is greener on the other side.

Change is the essence of life, and the future seems more beautiful. For once, a bird in hand is worth two in the bush, does not apply to your perceived perfect bachelorhood life!

Beyond a point, you need some meaning in your life. You want to get some routine to your random life. You feel that, when you return home in the evening after office, there should be someone whom you can look forward to. You should feel excited about getting back home in the evening. Look forward to the weekend ahead, and wait for the smallest of the holidays, to run away to a nearby weekend getaway.

And I have just jumped, that point! Am I excited? Yes! Am I nervous? A little! But the most important question – Am I happy? Have never been happier!!

Getting to who is she? How did I meet her? How did this all happen? When is THE DATE? And other details, well, all of that needs a longer post.

Come on Guys, This is a once-in-a-lifetime moment!

There was a time, when I took out time to blog. I still remember those days in the Computer lab during engineering, where I used to frequent the internet center during recess time to write. And now? I literally need to be pushed, and reminded umpteen times, that I should be writing something.

What was it? I didn’t have anything to write? NO! Loads to write, Loads I want to tell you. Just the time!

The last couple of months have been completely hectic if anything. And little pleasures like reading, writing, watching movies have all been on the backseat. Yes, thankfully being in marketing, I still get to travel!

Talking about travel, have been traveling all across north India in the last couple of months, and it has been wonderful to say the least. Will soon come up with a separate tab on Traveling on this blog. Very much required, for the new found interest. (Now you know the reason for those lonely planet magazines piled up on my bedside)

In another update, have started reviewing books on this blog, and about 5 books have been sent to me and are waiting to be reviewed here (They still need to be read.) it should soon be up. Promise.

In the other world, there have been developments everywhere. Mom and Dad were here in Mumbai last month, and we had a fun time. We also went to Nashik/ Shirdi for two days. The New Year has been a good beginning and hope it continues the same way, and becomes a landmark year in many ways. (you know what I am referring to! )

Writing this on a Sunday evening, after completing the daily (or weekly chores) since morning, and somehow keeping myself awake. It is a long weekend after long (tomorrow is Shiv ratri and hence a holiday!) and am completely enjoying it. So wanted this break from long, and it would be long before I get the next one.

So, on to get my next coffee (you get the drift right!), till then Cheers!

The book, recently published by times books, makes it for an easy read. It is a relatively small book and finish-in-one-go kind of book. The additional disc given along with the book is a welcome add-on to listen to the authors views on the same. it probably could have been better if it could be more engaging than the monologue approach that it takes.

The book succintly captures the operational issues cropping in during the trajectory of the growth of an organization. It very well explains the strategic approach to ensure the vitals are kept in place while the transition from a free spirited entrepreneurial start-up kind of a setup to a professionally run company. The interesting part of the book is where the author begins by explaining scenes from the movie Avatar, and links it to the main topic.

The only disconnect with the book is – who is the target audience? Obviously not the big companies looking for a change!

The entrepreneur who is ready to take off, and wants to build a perspective on organizatoinal change? Then why have all the copy-paste material from government sites as the the entire procedure and detail rules and processes involved?

The book starts off well, but somewhere in the middle of the book it loses steam, and the large monotonous excerpts from the websites detailing the processes just tests your patience. You are here looking for live examples and stories of such changes in other companies. One would obviously go to the websites before taking the plunge. ( probably hire the author himself, to execute such a change in the company!)

Overall, a good book to get a perspective on the concept, but it falls somewhere in between being an academic book and an engaging read.

About the author, he is an engineer from IIT, and has done his management studies at ISB, Hyderabad. With more than 11 years of experience in the field of organizational change leadership he is probably the most apt person to write a book on this niche topic.

Funny: Why was an ad of Jawed Habib’s pasted in the backside inside cover of the book? How is he involved with the book? Or have we reached the stage where even the covers are book are up for sale by the advertisers?

(Disclosure: I received a free copy of the book, to review it)