P.S. I found out later that Ann had been battling colon cancer for several years. She died six months after her visit to Minneapolis.

In 2006 Bonnie decided to create 10,000 photos of people smooching each other. The Smooch! Project Mission:
“To serve as a photographic testament that all humans, regardless of social, economic, or political barriers, share a joyful willingness to welcome love and affection into their lives. It’s about love. It’s about tolerance. It’s about gratitude.”

Since then my friend has conducted “Smooch! Shoots” in various locations in Minnesota (including a recent session at a Tatoo Convention) and has collected 2200 photos so far. To accomplish her goal of amassing 10,000 Smooch! photos, she intends to travel to every state in the US.  Eventually she’d like to publish a book about her photographic journey.
In order to finance the launch of the national tour, Bonnie needs to locate a corporate sponsor sympathetic to the cause. After going through a list of possibilities it dawned on her that the Smooch! Project would be a perfect fit for Ellen DeGeneres. Ellen’s show could chronicle Bonnie’s adventures as she travels from place to place taking photos of interesting people and telling their stories. But first Bonnie needed to attract the attention and the interest of a producer on The Ellen DeGeneres show.  A daunting task.
Her solution? Conduct a series of Ellen Smooch! Shoots and send the photos to one of the producers.
The Shoots were nothing short of amazing. The pictures were hilarious. People who lived hundreds of miles away showed up to have their picture taken smooching their hero Ellen.  In addition to having their photo taken kissing a cut-out of Ellen, each person wrote a personal note asking Ellen to support the Project.
Bonnie packed up the photos and the notes of support from each Ellen Smooch! Shoot. and sent them off to a producer on the Ellen DeGeneres Show. The last batch was sent yesterday. My friend hopes to hear something soon.
This week when you need a reason to smile peruse some of the Smooch! Project photos. It works for me every time. And if you are so inclined, you can purchase a photo or contribute to the cause by making a donation via PayPal. You can keep abreast of Bonnie’s progress on the Smooch Blog.
I hope that you share our belief that each of us has the power to make a  positive difference in the life of someone else. Start small. Think big.

If you are a regular reader of these Monday Aha!s you know that publisher Hay House will be releasing the hardcover version of my book, The Napkin, the Melon & the Monkey in February. The company was founded by Louise Hay in 1987 and today is the largest publisher of self-help books on the planet. 
Since last November when I signed the contract, I have visited Hay House’s small office in New York City several times.  My most recent visit was a few weeks ago when I met with the three PR pros in charge of promoting the book to both the business and consumer markets.  I have been so impressed with the caliber of the staff in NYC as well as their genuine commitment to making the world a better place, I wanted to see if the same was true of the people at the main office in Carlsbad, California. The only way to find out was to pay them a visit.
I was delighted with what I found. Everyone I met was a pro and obviously committed to the Hay House mission of making a positive difference in the lives of others. After a day  half of meetings with an array staff members and lunch with the  CEO,  this first-time author came away a bit overwhelmed and very excited about the plans Hay House has for my little book. I now have much better understanding and appreciation for what it takes to launch and promote a book these days. 
    

Book tours are out. Social media is in. Hay House dedicates considerable resources to creating a buzz on the web. So, with the help of  their staff of “new media” experts I will be connecting with bloggers, providing articles to Hay House’s newly launched interactive site: www.healyourlife.com and maybe even Oprah.com. I’ll be working with their Facebook expert on doing more there. My interview on Hay House Radio will reach many thousands of people. But the coolest thing is the possibility of creating an iphone app featuring the 22 Aha!s from the book.  (The new iphone apps were introduced in July and will someday replace their famous card decks.)
And then there are the videos which will go on U-tube, Amazon.com and various websites. To do that they needed some footage. On Wednesday I was scheduled to do my “There’s No Such Thing as a Difficult Situation” presentation to the 20+ employees who signed up. Knowing that I’d probably stress about being video-taped, they were considerate enough to wait until the night before to let me know they’d like to video tape my presentation. The employees made a great audience (see the photo). 
    In my last meeting I looked around the table at the eight staffers in charge of marketing and social media and it suddenly occurred to me that I now have my own “peeps.” I am so grateful!   Finally after 24 years of being a one-person operation (with the “help” of my two associates, my cats) I now have a team of terrific people both there and in New York who share my passion for making a difference. How cool is that?

Have a great week knowing that there are people just like you out there who are passionate about making a difference.

“I could see now that somewhere along the way I had appointed myself the General Manager of the Universe. My attempt to control everything and everybody had to change or I was never going to be at peace with myself or with the rest of the planet.”

– excerpt from The Napkin, the Melon & the Monkey.

Yury Luzhkov, the Mayor of Moscow is at it again — trying his hand at being the General Manager of the Universe. In 2002 he tried to reverse the flow of the River Ob so that water could be diverted to a drought stricken area of the country. It didn’t work.
This year the Mayor plans to stop the snow from falling in the City of Moscow. It’s expensive to remove, he says, and it’s downright inconvenient. So, he has hired the Russian Air Force to spray the sky with chemicals so the snow misses Moscow and falls someplace else.  Experts say this idea won’t work either.
You probably have your own list of things you’d like to change. Here are some of mine. If I could, I would:

* Be 25 years young again.
* Get the paper delivery person to throw the paper within reach of my back door every morning.
* Make cell service, cable, internet access and electricity free for everyone.
* Reduce the months of cold weather in Minnesota from 6 to 3.
* Be upgraded to First Class every time I have to fly.
* Raise my recently departed dog, Layla, from the dead.
* Eradicate World hunger in my lifetime.

Although it’s entertaining to think about, the chances of any of the things on my list happening are zero.
I had an epiphany several years ago and finally resigned from being the General Manager of the Universe.  After experiencing the equivalent of a personal train wreck, I realized how deluded I was in thinking that I could control the behavior of others or live my life absent problems. I finally understood the real truth, put best by Jack Kornfield, “You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”
This week catch a wave and enjoy the ride. And to those of you (Mayor of Moscow included) who live in a cold climate — it’s time to get out your snow shovel.

Minnesota Nice: A style of pleasantness, courtesy, cooperation, and helpfulness associated with culture; a form of Midwestern charm.

Last week I was in New York City and the “Minnesota Nice” thing happened again. I was having breakfast at a restaurant in Manhattan getting acquainted with Beth Goodman and Meryl Moss — the two PR dynamos that Hay House has engaged to promote my book to the business media.  We were chitchatting and one of them remarked how “nice” Minnesotans were. I hear that remark all the time.
Strangers tell me their stories of personal encounters of the nicest kind.  Recently I sat next to a man at dinner in Atlanta who after learning I was from Minnesota, had to tell me about his visit to Minnesota a few years ago. He and his wife were returning to their downtown Minneapolis hotel after dinner. As they were navigating their way through the complicated Minneapolis skyway system (a network of enclosed, climate-controlled pedestrian walkways that link the buildings downtown) they became hopelessly lost. There they were — late at night in a strange city trapped like a hamster in a maze of walkways. A young couple going the opposite direction stopped to offer their assistance. You can bet that having that positive experience pre-disposed them to expecting the best from Minnesotans they met during their visit.
Stereotypes don’t tell the whole story. I know plenty of nasty Minnesotans who are rarely nice. New Yorkers are supposed to be pushy and rude. That hasn’t been my experience. I found most of the people I talked with during my recent visits to be just as nice as Minnesotans. The dangerous thing about stereotyping and categorizing others is that we often get what we expect.
This week examine some of your closely held stereotypes to see how accurate they really are.

– Isabel, the wise service rep in The Napkin, the Melon & the Monkey.

A colleague recently told me about a new contact center he visited that is using a misguided approach to filling their 100+ seats: they are hiring “overqualified” reps who after a stint in the call center, transfer out of the center to take positions more consistent with their career goal.

Frankly, I think that’s a colossally bad idea on many levels. If they were my client I’d suggest that instead of hiring employees who view their customer service job as the cost of admission for getting a “better” position in the company, they should hire as many “Isabels” as they could find. While I can see some advantages to using the call center as basic training for other jobs, I’d make that percentage no more than 25% of the total.

“What are the qualities of an “Isabel?” I believe that Chris Keyes, a CSR at Madison Gas & Electric shares many of Isabel’s qualities.

Chris wrote me an email last week to let me know what a difference The Napkin, the Melon & the Monkey had made in her life and to share how excited she was that her peers would be reading the book as part of their Customer Service Appreciation celebration this week.
Chris went on to explain how she approached her job as a CSR — a philosophy typical of the Isabels I have known:
“I take great pride in providing customer service and consider it an extremely important role.  Every single day is a challenge and every single day is another opportunity to help someone.  I work full time and almost exclusively taking incoming calls. … I want to make a difference and I challenge myself every day to learn something new, share some type of tip with another rep, somehow cheer up another rep, and ALWAYS strive to be a positive influence to the other reps and my co-workers.” (photo of Chris)

This week as we celebrate the contributions of the fine people who work in customer service, take a minute to identify the Isabels in your organization. Make a special effort to let them know how important they are to you. These extraordinary men and women offer living proof of what a difference kindness and generosity can make in the lives of others.

May you take the opportunity to celebrate each other this week — and every week.

And, Chris thanks for allowing me to sing your praises.

The Good News: Compared to last year, customers are more satisfied with the service they receive from contact centers. That was finding of CFI Group’s 2009 Contact Center Customer Satisfaction Index (CCSI).

The report attributed much of the improvement with the influx of highly skilled service representatives.

“CSR talent has been positively impacted by poor economic conditions. In the wake of record unemployment rates, turnover has declined, and over-qualified job applicants take positions they would not previously have considered as they wait for opportunities that are more suitable to their skill sets.”

The Bad News: As the economy improves companies will be scrambling to fill vacant positions with the best and the brightest employees they can find. If you are lucky, some of your “windfall” employees will decide to stay on. Many of these talented people will move on to more suitable positions.

The Opportunity: The fact is, we can’t control much of what happens to us in life or the behavior of others. But we do have the power to choose our reaction. While you have these talented people on board, look at it as an opportunity for you to:

• Be generous.
  Remind yourself that an important part of your job is to help your employees develop their talents and abilities. Find out what you can do to help these individuals realize their career goals.
• Be open.
  Solicit their suggestions on what you can do to improve your operation. People are happy to share their wealth of experience and knowledge of best practices. All you have to do is ask.
• Listen.
  Recently hired employees bring a valuable “outside-in” perspective. When they offer an insight, listen — and take notes.
• Be grateful.
  Had it not been for a poor economy you would not have the opportunity to benefit from their positive contributions.
• Add to your professional network.
  If you are impressed with these people, offer to include them in your network of colleagues. Relationships matter.

My Irish grandmother said it best: “When life gives you apples make applesauce.”
Have a good week.

Last week I had the pleasure to present at the Annual Allconnect Partners Summit held at the posh Chateau Elan Resort outside Atlanta.  Of the countless conferences I’ve participated in over the past 18 years, I have to say that this one was one of the best. Allconnect took a radical and risky approach that really paid off.
Vendors invite their top clients to their annual users conference to strengthen their relationship with their key clients and customers. The majority of these conferences typically focus on telling customers how wonderful their service or product is and how even more wonderful it will be next year. This is usually a one-sided conversation in which the vendor does most of the talking.
This year Allconnect decided to try a very different approach. In reviewing the past year, management admitted when they dropped the ball and what they learned from the experience. Throughout the conference I observed management and staff actively soliciting suggestions and ideas from their clients about what they could improve upon or do differently.
I thought it was brilliant. Instead of a monologue full of the usual self-serving fluff, what I saw was an earnest and honest exchange of ideas between all the participants. The client companies came away with a greater understanding and appreciation of Allconnect’s business. But most important, what both parties gained from the experience was an increase in Trust.
On the flight home last Thursday I made a list of some of the long-term benefits that come from vendors and clients engaging in such honest, constructive dialogue.

1. Honesty breeds Trust.
   > Clients have more confidence in a vendor who responds quickly to their problem. They are also more willing to bring up small problems when they arise instead of waiting until they become big, expensive problems.
2. Trust builds capital that can be accessed when things go wrong.
   > When there is a misstep or broken link a client who trusts their vendor will be more patient and tolerant – and may even offer ideas that will solve the problem.
3. Trust creates loyalty.
   > Even when a vendor’s service or product costs more than the competition, the client having forged a trust relationship is less likely to jump to a competitor with a sweet offer.
4. Trust makes it more likely that clients will try something new when it is proposed.
   > When a client is happy with their vendor they are more open to buying additional products and services.
5. Trust transforms the relationship.
   > Instead of being on opposite sides, the vendor and the client become partners.
6. Partnerships generate innovative solutions.
   > Partners share ideas with each other and come up with new ways to utilize the vendor’s product or service to solve business problems.
7. When there is greater alignment between the vendors services and products and the needs of the client, all parties benefit.
   > When the operation runs more smoothly and focuses on continuous improvement, everyone wins.Tru
   

I applaud the management team at Allconnect for taking the risk to be honest and open with its clients. Trust. It’s a beautiful thing.

SO·DA Mo·ment
Defintion: A SODA Moment is the moment during an emotionally-charged conversation or situation when one of the parties loses control and says something they later regret.
It’s been quite a week for emotional outbursts by public figures.                                                      Last Thursday, during President Obama’s address to Congress on health care reform, Senator Wilson in a “spontaneous outburst” called the President a liar. The next day the Senator apologized to the President, but still maintained that the President had lied. Within hours one of Wilson’s political opponents received over $100,000 in contributions. Some say that the Senator’s outburst could cost him the next election.
During the semi-finals of the US Tennis Open on Saturday, Serena Williams smashed her racquet and threatened a line judge with physical harm after getting a penalty. She faces a fine of $ 10,000. The incident is viewed by officials as being so serious that she may be suspended from playing in next year’s US Open.
<Photos from New York Times >

According to yesterday’s New York Times, Williams apologized saying, “Now that I have had time to gain my composure, I can see that while I don’t agree with the unfair line call, in the heat of battle I let my passion and emotion get the better of me, and as a result handled the situation poorly.”

These situations happen frequently enough that I have a special term for them. I call them a “SODA Moment” which is defined as: The moment during an emotionally-charged conversation or situation when one of the parties loses control and says something they later regret.

What’s a “SODA?” SODA is an acronym for a simple four-step process for avoiding getting “hooked” and losing your cool. STOP. (for a millisecond to..) OBSERVE. (what’s really going on) DECIDE. (how best to handle it) and then ACT. (with confidence.)

I’m sure you can recall some SODA Moments of your own. I know I can.

Here are a few take-aways from these recent very public spontaneous outbursts.
1. Remember that you are human. No one is perfect.
2. When you have a SODA Moment (and you will) avoid beating yourself up. It’s a waste of energy.
3. Consider the SODA Moments you do have as costly learning opportunities.
4. Try do better the next time.
5.  In the event that you lose your cool a second time,  reveiw #1 – #4.

This week when a customer, co-worker or family member or that bozo on the freeway pushes your buttons, remember to just let it go. Whatever it was that upset you is not going to matter in a 100 years.

Barbara