Sorry blurry mystery person, I had forgotten there were photos taken by the ever vigilant Steven Kerr, Otherwise I would have posted this ages ago.

Dear Neighbors,

                         I’m really sorry you have to live next to me. I understand that you probably don’t appreciate it when I have impromptu fire work displays at 3AM. I assume that most of you have day jobs and while you appreciate patriotism there are better times and locations. I assure you that there is only a small chance of it happening again due to the police informing me that it was a felony (don’t freak out mom, I totally would have blamed it on a patsy). From now on I will try to keep all explosions inside my apartment and away from your loved ones and possessions.

Thank you for your patience,

Rory

You know what’s more adorable then wearing a Xmas tree costume on Halloween? 

Wearing a xmas tree costume on Halloween that your mom made! 

That’s right boys and girls gather up your respective mothers, put them on a hunk of detached glacier, and float them out to sea! Ms. Clark (IN HER AWESOME ALL DAY DEBUT) came over to my apartment, hot glue gun in hand, and constructed the best Halloween costume ever constructed by the hands of someone who birthed me! It was even made of felt like a REAL tree! I ended up winning second place in a costume contest I didn’t know I was part of and doing a variety of things that my Mom would definitely not approve of!

WITH THESE XMAS THEMED STUDS!

A lot of people didn’t think our Yule tide costumes were that frightening… Obviously they have never been to a Toolan family Christmas/watched the following video:

 hit the more button, unless you’re my mom in which case you won’t approve…. And no i don’t know where the severed head came from:

Every time my fingers touch the keyboard Italian sausage jokes just start pouring out. 

I’m not sure what is more disturbing: The fact that this is clearly and undeniably a penis, that said penis is used as a logo for an eating establishment, or the fact that it has A MUSTACHE.

This last one is off topic but, How rad is it that the coffee shop next to my house has a photo copied autograph of Rob Schneider on their bulletin next to pictures of their kids? Clearly the original copy was far to valuable to risk public viewing.

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BAD NEWS

Rory: Hey readers, I’m going to be out of town for the next week or so. There is no wifi where I’m going sooo The next week is going to be real quiet on awesome all day.

All of you in Unison: Ok dude.

Rory: It’s cool though, because I have a bunch of posts in the works about everything you have ever been interested in!

All of you in Unison: Alright have a good time… (Why is he telling us this?)

Rory: See ya later guys! I’ll be back next sunday! I’m going to miss you all as you miss me!

All of you in Unison: Later… (Is he gone yet? We just wanna watch videos featuring talking cats on youtube)

Rory: See Ya again! Love ya! Do svidaniya (That’s russian for goodbye!) Yay! BE BACK IN A WEEK!

HIT THE MORE BUTTON FOR THE GOOD NEWS. PLEASE. NOW.

GOOD NEWS

I found your Slinky.

It was next to my house.

You might wanna pick it up because I’ll be out of town for about a week and I won’t be able to keep an eye on it for you while I’m gone.

A few of you might remember that in August I found that special someone my heart had been waiting for… Well unfortunately my little love Legume left me without even telling me her name. It hurt but, I’m used to disappointment and had already made three of the seven steps to recovery (acceptance, threatening phone calls, and stealing her DVDs). 

So that’s why this hurt. so. much.

Dear bean pod lady,

                 This could have been the product of our (Mutual?) lust. I would have found us a nice little field with plenty of sunlight to rase our freshly sprouted cabbage patch kid the best way two crazy/romantic/fiber filled seed sacks could. 

                 Instead it’s me writing love letters that you’ll never read and browsing Craig’s list missed connections/casual encounters looking for a sliver of the magic you showed me on that warm day at the state fair in late August. 

Holla back at me grrl

Always yours,

Rory

This post is going to be short and sweet because I’m real busy with school (Don’t worry all I’ll (Sorry mom) start slacking off again soon enough).

Hit the play button (Sorry it’s not Biz Markie, Biz Markie fans).

I just wanted to let you guys know that loving is always good.  

Even when the person you love is an anatomically incorrect stranger:

Even when the person you love is unavailable:

Even when the person you love is an animal collective video:

(I really do love ya grrl even though, your BFF gave my camera the "Let's go he's a sailor/rapist eye")

Even when the person you love is Scream’s Mathew Lillard

It’s even Ok to love when the people you love get a tiny bit tuckered out and decide to take a little nap in the Tenderloin… amongst terrifying Tenderloin residence… Next to our FRESHLY BROKEN INTO CAR.

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Better late then never right?

Little known fact about Awesome All Day: I originally started it as a Yachting blog due to my long standing love for the Open Sea, Christopher Cross, and Captain Ron. Unfortunately my yacht rocking ability has never really gone any farther then owning the single greatest Seafaring wardrobe this side of Barbados.

A couple of weeks ago I went to lovefest in SF dressed in full yachting regalia and to my dismay I was not the only schooner in the harbor. There was a ton of naval folks bumping mizenmasts and throwing their yardarms in the air like they just didn’t care. The following is a bunch of other sailors I convinced to take pictures with me (There were actually like 26 more photos but, these are the best).

As always with photo montages, make sure to hit the play button for musical accompaniment after you hit the MORE button:

Nobody sleeps in a helmet you smug little bastard.

Apparently ThinkGeek.com’s whacky (drool Inspiring)  Tauntaun sleeping bag April Fool’s joke is real and coming out next month.

If this is another April Fool’s joke (cleverly delivered in October) it will make me stop in believing in other things i’ve been on the fence about to this point Read: Santa Clause, Steve Perry, big foot, and true love.

Anyways, It’s going to look great on top of my batman “batcave” bat-bunk-bed. You can’t pre-order them but, you can sign up for Think Geek’s mailing list and keep your sweaty little nerd fingers crossed.

Click the more button if you’re a Modest Mouse album:

BAD NEWS

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!