The Art of Being Asperger Woman

February

noreply@blogger.com (Aspie Bird) — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 08:31:00 PST

The outside world looks like a fairytale. Bright blue sky, lots of snow. Watching skaters along the frozen waters here is such a pleasue. The last weeks lots of things happened. My fear for traffic has become a minor fear. It is indeed true that every day practice is a way to overcome a phobia. I train my brain, I reconsider what to think. This afternoon I came across a path which has been difficult for me. Instead of getting grip by touching the hedge of a garden, I just walked past it freely. It is amazing if you walk there and realise that you have come so far! I am very proud of myself. But we are not here yet. Yes, when I am stressed noises can overwhelm me and make me feel small again.

It has almost been 10 years now, and there is no answer yet to the question of Asperger hacker Gary McKinnon from the UK, will be extradited to the US. It must have been hell for him and his family. I was happy to participate in a so called tweetstorm to highlight this case once more. Let's hope searching for UFO's will not be rewarded with a prison stay in the US. No one benefits of a mentally broken Asperger.

I try to figure out more about special interests. Some time ago I made a special interest handbook, in which I schedule the different stages of a special interest. As you might now, one of the typically characteristics of Asperger or autism in general is a special interest. Mostly used as a manner to handle and reduce stress. Information makes me calm. Give me some train details and I can easier cope during a stressful day with lots of social contacts. I am looking for more information about the way women with autism/Asperger handle this. I would like to hear from you, what do you do to prevent you loosing yourself into the sub reality when your special interest takes you too far away from your daily structure. Please let me know. I try to find a way to cope with it myself, and extra information which I can add to my selfmade guidance to special interests are very welcome. It is like writing down a personal users manual ;))

I hope you are all doing fine. Since the old Autism Hub has been replaced by a new one, I unfortunately lost contact with many blogs I used to read.

Will try to write more soon. Take care all

stop sopa

noreply@blogger.com (Aspie Bird) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 12:42:00 PST

As I am strongly against SOPA, this blog will be black/ invisible for 1 day. Starting now.I Hope to see you soon!

Happy New Year!

noreply@blogger.com (Aspie Bird) — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 12:38:00 PST

Happy New Year to you all! As I have done before, I am gonna try to write here on a daily base. I did sleep during the change from 2011 to 2012. Well, to be honest that was not a bad thing...;) This way the sensory overload was reduced. Well, I have to go to bed now, otherwise my ritm will be broken. Take care all of you!

noreply@blogger.com (Aspie Bird) — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 00:17:00 PDT

Autumn 2011. After a long and wet summer, we had some lovely summer days with high temperatures this week. What a way to start October. Later this week storm is expected and autumn will finally begin. The two pictures, made by myself, illustrate my life now. I enjoy and share love with a new boyfriend. Sometimes you need to close your eyes and let all things happen. The second picture shows that one has to start his own engine to get the best result out of the 'windmill' of your own life. Take care.

August 2011

noreply@blogger.com (Aspie Bird) — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 05:45:00 PDT

Summer 2011 has brought many pleasant things, despite the rain I managed tot make some nice trips around the country.My new computer works very well, and working on it gives me many pleasant hours. It is fun to be able to create e.g. a new header for a weblog.

The agyrophobia seems to have become less. That is really good.
We, my therapist and I, have now found out that the sensory overload and the fears for traffic, mainly have such an impact because of my living situation.

Living in a small village with few hundred inhabitants I must find a way to handle the transition from silence to noise. I was raised in the western part of this country, in a suburb with all facilities nearby. After a few years of living in this-shopaholic friendly-town (you can save money here, there are no shops...), I can really feel the difference in what I was used to handle on sensory overload then and now.

Every time I go to the city, my brain now needs more time and exercise in order to handle the increased traffic and noise. The sensory overload will become less after a few minutes. It is important, as it is for all people with autism, to find a way to cope with this overload whil surrounded by traffic, lots of people etc. It is another thing perfectly suitable to make a aspie style plan for! ;-)

So this weekend I am gonna visit a big town, and try to handle stress step by step. Take a break when it is necessary. You might say this is easy but often I neglect my autism or I am so busy watching everything I forget to eat!

Rain has stopped, thunder went away, sun might shine now. Time to move on.
Have a nice weekend! CU soon! Take care!

Summertime

noreply@blogger.com (Aspie Bird) — Sun, 12 Jun 2011 13:03:00 PDT

Yes, I did remember this blog ;). It has been too long since my last blog post. Lots of things happened. Still going strong and improving my quality of life. Life is wonderful. Will write more soon. ZZZ here. Goodnight world.

Watch this Video, Help this Kid and subsribe

noreply@blogger.com (Aspie Bird) — Wed, 25 May 2011 01:23:00 PDT

Proud!

noreply@blogger.com (Aspie Bird) — Fri, 25 Mar 2011 04:52:00 PDT

Pride is the thing I these days wear with me when walking on the street. It is true: when you have fear for something, it can be very useful just do that thing what frightens you most! With the help of my therapist, I can see clearly progress on my battle against agyrophobia. New streets, new parking spots come upon my path.

I really enjoy the upcoming spring time. Yes there are still plans to move, well we just see what will happen. Meanwhile, I enjoy my life being single again, although I miss my former boyfriend every now and then. We still have contact as we want to stay good friends.

Well, that's it for now. Take care, bye.

Spring, a new horizon

noreply@blogger.com (Aspie Bird) — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 12:34:00 PST

We have shared many beautiful moments together. But sometimes one needs to continue his own way. After 1.5 years a beautiful love story has come to an end. I thank my former boyfriend for all the love, inspiration and much more he has given me.

Time to set a new horizon. Each day I am grateful for my freedom. Think about all those people worldwide, abused, locked up and treated inhumane. Bradley Manning in prison for over 280 days now.

Speaking about solitary confinement and autism, for me it is clear that the loneliness felt inside is often related to my Aspergers. But do not feel that sorry for yourself having autism. Unless you are physically disabled too, we have the ability to walk around freely despite our autism. There is a world outside worth to be explored. Walk in the light and do not let the dark side of autism get you down.

There is a lot which can be done to serve and improve the world and its people. Do not forget to see the hand reached out by others in order to help us out. Take care.

snowman

noreply@blogger.com (Aspie Bird) — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 02:16:00 PST

snowman, originally uploaded by Canon550Lover.

Gift from my sister!

Pink Pink Bird

noreply@blogger.com (Aspie Bird) — Sat, 05 Feb 2011 09:12:00 PST

Pink Pink Bird, originally uploaded by Canon550Lover.

Not to be ignored, please take care of a Pink Bird!

Not dull

noreply@blogger.com (Aspie Bird) — Sat, 05 Feb 2011 03:02:00 PST

Not dull, originally uploaded by Canon550Lover.

Stormy weather outside, life can be good inside while computing...;)

First Try

noreply@blogger.com (Aspie Bird) — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 12:47:00 PST

Canon 550 eerste serie 017, originally uploaded by Canon550Lover.

One of the first shots made with my new camera!

Flickr

noreply@blogger.com (Aspie Bird) — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 12:45:00 PST

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

Spectrumville!

noreply@blogger.com (Aspie Bird) — Sat, 22 Jan 2011 13:18:00 PST

It has been already far too long since my last blogpost.2011 is the year for me.It has given me so far lots of new experimenten.Today I drove on the highway again, that has been long ago.My years on crossing the street become lese.Cleaned my home,got rid of lots of extra ballast on my computers.
These is a website I would like to remmend to you, www.spectrumville.net.As the name tells this is another online community for people on the autism spectrum.Lease join,you are most welkome and it's not such a big site as Wrong Planet.That's it for now.Back zoon.Take care my dear followers <3 ..Please Support WikiLeaks too!

Happy New Year

noreply@blogger.com (Aspie Bird) — Sat, 01 Jan 2011 13:34:00 PST

Happy New Year, my dear followers! I wish that 2011 may bring you lots of joy, friendship, love, romance and moments you feel connected with other people, no matter in which way that may be!

After a great short break in Berlin it is good to be home again! In Berlin I had the chance to use my brand new photo camera a lot. The pictures I made are said to be awesome! It is really nice to watch all those people passing by and to make pictures of them!

These days I might have developed another two special interests, my camera, Stieg Larsson's Millenium trilogy. All very exciting!

Try to blog some more this year! My former bf and I had a great time in Berlin, we rented an appartment in the city centre, near the main railwaystation. Cheap, clean and comfortable beds! So if you need a place to stay in Berlin, contact me.

The traffic handling in Berlin went very well, due the snow sounds of traffic seemed to have reduced. That was very nice! It was so cold in Berlin, minus 13 degrees Celsius....brrr...

For now,sleep well!

Autism: Lifelong Solitary Confinement?

noreply@blogger.com (Aspie Bird) — Wed, 22 Dec 2010 13:17:00 PST

It's always a great pleasure to see the amount of people following this blog has increased.Thank you my dear followers, please let me know if you miss something I should blog about.

As Julian Assange - heaven thanks- was released from prison last week, he spoke about his nine day stay in solitary confinement. People with autism can be seen as potential prisoners in their own lifelong solitary confinement I think. We have freedom of speech, freedom to walk around, no bail needed to explore the outdoor world. But somehow autistic people are locked up in their own mind, not to be able to share things, express their deepest inner feelings and many more. Just a thought.

Soon one of the world's most famous cities will be visited again! My ex-bf is coming with me! Happy with this! Happy X-mas everyone, and c u soon.

X-mas will be special once more!

Autism’s First Child - Magazine - The Atlantic

noreply@blogger.com (Aspie Bird) — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 02:07:00 PST

Autism’s First Child - Magazine - The Atlantic

He was the first person ever to be diagnosed with autism!! Now he's 77...

noreply@blogger.com (Aspie Bird) — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 02:03:00 PST

Someone has sent me the link to this article, it's about the first person ever to be diagnosed with autism. See the blogpost on top of this page! Very very interesting. Thanks for sharing this article!
You know who you are ;-)

December

noreply@blogger.com (Aspie Bird) — Sat, 04 Dec 2010 13:05:00 PST

December morning
Too cold to get up
Lay down for a while
Thinking about a new day to come

Every morning I wake up
pure and fresh
and then
I realise
I have Autism
Another day with sensory overload, mental chaos and question marks all over....
Somehow every day its a struggle, just for a minute and than it's ok

Because I can not live without my autism
even If I would
So I carry on
put my Aspergers in my rucksack again
and move on
into another promising day
That's my autism

Light in the Darkness

noreply@blogger.com (Aspie Bird) — Sat, 27 Nov 2010 02:11:00 PST

The past week I realised how stressful things have been lately. For months lots of serious things came upon my path. It was useful to deal with them. Now, finding my way to a new beginnning, my focus is set on finding Light in the Darkness. It's time to think things over and realise that what life is about.

These days I have to deal with a special interest. After having the life experience in dealing with special interests, I know now what to expect. Somehow everytime this phrase of Aspergers shows itself with all his beautiful but also dark sides, I keep surprised by the impact this special interest might have. It is like a knock down, strangely enough a knock down which makes me get lots of extra energy.

As we call those autism related special interest in Dutch "Fieps", my "Fiep" seems to hide some other things. The "Fiep" might relief the pain caused by the broke up. What my surrounding concerns there seem to be no reason to worry about me and my "Fiep". Yes, I know coping with a "Fiep" can be exhausting, but so far I eat normally, have a good sleep at night and enjoy life offline as well.

My former boyfriend is someone I will always care for. We will remain good friends.

I hope you are all doing well. CU next time.

Weekend!

noreply@blogger.com (Aspie Bird) — Fri, 19 Nov 2010 10:49:00 PST

Yes, Weekend. Lots of reading and thinking to do. Depends on the weather what's up to do. Might do some training on street crossing. I have created a new habit on walking through the park a few times a week. It eases my mind to walk and do some thinking as well. Perhaps new habits are a way to deal with the loss of both bf and his child.

New Beginning

noreply@blogger.com (Aspie Bird) — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 07:41:00 PST

It has been a while. Sorry if you stopped by here once and not found a new posting. I regret to announce that what has been a wonderful, loving and 14 months lasting love affair has come to an end. My boyfriend and I have split. No feelings of hate, it just had to be this way. We hopefully can remain to be good friends. It is strange to loose a stephchild and in laws this way. Sad. Both families were happy with our partners. Well, they say, evevery time a door is closed, a window has opened somewhere else. Autisme and loving can mix together, I know now for sure. Emotions were intense during the last week.

Been working hard on my therapy. As I walked down the city today it seemed being occupied with all thoughs on our break up, my fears had almost gone. Perhaps one needs a certain level of stress to make fears go away ;-)

Will link a twitter account to my blog. So you can follow me there as well. Hope you are all doing ok.

October 2010

noreply@blogger.com (Aspie Bird) — Sun, 24 Oct 2010 03:35:00 PDT

Autum brings us lots of beautiful things. The trees begin to show their colours, the woods seem to be places to discover many hidden treasures. I love this time of year. We make many long walks. It seems a time of changes is coming up. Bf has been told his job almost certainly might be discontinued. Insecurity rules. We try to keep positive and each step in life might bring new opportunities despite the crisis. The hardest thing these days is to cope with insecurity. This all costs lots of energy. I try to support Bf as much as possible. He shows he is grateful for this!

Meanwhile my agryophobia treatment (agyrophobia is the fear of crossing the streets)continues and further progress has been made. Slowly I lean to deal with the different ways one can look around being on the pavement. I now regulary practise crossing streets, even with my coach. She notices things in my behaviour I was not aware of. Interesting. Being a modest person I now learn that overcoming this agryophobia has to do with being more assertive. Try to take your place, before someone else does. Life is all about taking your own place. If you do not take your own place, someone else will take two places...You might just fade away..
You can't just be someone else. It is you dealing person dealing with these fears, no one else.

If others might overcome their fears, I can do this too! I find it hard to accept my Aspergers related sensory sound and speed overload. It is not easy. I would love to be not different in that way! There are already so many ways in which I am different from others. It makes me sometimes lonely and sad. But I refuse to give up and end up like a zombie never leaving my home. Learning to cross streets in a 'normal' way (what is 'normal' anyway?) is ofcourse a major aim of this phobia treatment. But how realistic can this be, considering my sensory overload due to my Aspergers?

Don't let fears hold you in your own prison. There is always a door open, although entering this door might ask very much courage. Behind that door there is a world, worth to be explored. Recently I visited a farewell concert given by the Norwegian band A-Ha ('Take on me', remember the videoclip?)Life is fun.

The therapy called life is not always easy and exposure to what one fears most can feel frustrating and lonely. And what about the crowd I see passing by on the streets, crossing streets like they have done this for ages...I do not see their inner life, I can not see what problems they have to face. Despite my fears on the street, I very often travel and visit people. This afternoon a bookcrossing event is scheduled. Looking forward to be there! After having done the worst thinkable thing, the smell of succes is overwhelming and asks for more.. And well, you know, living life means to learn, uh?!

Ok here we go...

noreply@blogger.com (Aspie Bird) — Tue, 21 Sep 2010 12:36:00 PDT

Well, the news about bf's job seems to be not OK. A lot of changes might come upon our way...Let us first have a good night of sleep! night night