The Art of Being Asperger Woman

Snow!

aspiebird2006@yahoo.co.uk (Aspie Bird) — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 13:03:00 PST

Yes, The Netherlands has been given a snow treat as well. This tiny little village has been isolated from the outside world since last Thursday. Well, it's not that bad, with some preparations and low speed we managed to reach the supermarket yesterday. It seem this cold weather effects many of us, from what I hear or read from the world news. Besides the beautiful white panoramic views over the country I noticed that, due to the snow I tend to feel less sad about winter. Winterblues or so. Public transport has been cancelled for some days now. It's said we will have a white X-mas. The first since 1981!

Thank You Life

aspiebird2006@yahoo.co.uk (Aspie Bird) — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 10:25:00 PST

Just wanna let you know that things are doing well here.
All I want to share with you is that Life is good
Sometimes My Asperger's does cause pain
But tell me who is free from pain during life these days
I am blessed with my inner strength,
inspired by the beautiful people who love me
I love them too and I cherish the moments we can share life.
Life is good, life is what you make of it.

During this winter no plans to move elsewhere
Just doing my voluntary work
and realise how vulnerable all things and people are.

Autism is not a prison. It's an inner world full of possibilities.
You just have to see it.

Thank you Life, for these present days filled with harmony and love!

Time to love & learn about love and life

aspiebird2006@yahoo.co.uk (Aspie Bird) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 07:41:00 PST

First of all let me tell you everyting is doing fine. Being used to be single, it is quite strange to be involved in a relationship now. He is very caring, sweet, smart, understanding and we have quite some common interests.
His life during the last 5 years was quite different than mine, but that is OK. We can learn a lot from one another. And besides that, love is now and to love one person is to life with his present life. I must learn to deal with typical relationship things. In a way he has more experience with this as he has been member of a family with children. We are doing fine and when things do not go that well, we talk it over. I can feel we enter another stage of relationship now. We talk more and more and we are more aware of the outside world now. At least I am, I can not speak for him naturally.

Today I have made him shy as a schoolboy by sending him flowers to his office...Yes, red roses....Afterwards he called me to say thank you. He was happy and touched by this surprise. This made my day! It is not difficult for me to give, it is hard for me to receive his 'Thank You'... Well that is life, one has to learn about it...love is a perfect way to live and learn about the real world.

Beside the love thing there are plenty of things happening in my life now. No, I have not made any concrete decision about where to move (should I buy a house or rent something and where I am gonna live). I trust everything will be ok. First let's see what this winter may bring.

In a few days time a new edition of LINDA magazine will be for sale. In a way I am glad that all this stuff because of this article will be over. Let's get back to normal. My bf is very proud and so am I. But life goes on...

Hope you are all doing well. Please realise that having a relationship having Aspergers Syndrom is possible, as we are just as caring people as anyone else. We, people with autism, may even be more loving than others. But that is a personal opinion. Do with this what you want. Bye for now

Glossy Magazine Fotoshoot Part 2

aspiebird2006@yahoo.co.uk (Aspie Bird) — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 13:17:00 PDT

FAQ 1: What is the magazine about?

The magazine is production of well known Dutch tv presenter and actress. I have never met her personally. ShWe is one of the leading TV personalities in The Netherlands. FAQ about my contribution to this magazine. The magazine is now Holland's best selling glossy magazines with 110.000 editions sold each month.

FAQ 2. What was the subject to talk about?

A. Loneliness.

FAQ 3. How did they find you?

A. A journalist had posted a request on a internet message forum. In a kind of way this message board subject of lonely people in The Netherlands was set up as a result of the general discussion after the Queens Day incident. A lonely man, who could have been your neighbour, was capable of doing such a horrible thing (he drove into a crowd of people and 8 people, including himself were killed)..The interview was given by phone and the fotoshoot was June, 26th in the city of Amsterdam.

FAQ 4. What is the interview about, what do you tell ?

A. It is about me living in a very small Frisian village which is too quiet for me. Most families here have children and I do not. After my burn out I moved to this place, now I want to get out of here. I have some contacts with other people e.g. I have an 88 year old friend with whom I just love to talk about life. While doing my shopping on Friday at five o'clock I feel lonely looking at all those supermarket trolley's filled with family things. In order to cope with this I buy myself a chocolate pudding with cream.

It's a general interview, short and just easy to read.

FAQ 5. What has this interview to do with autism?

Well, strictly spoken has my contribution not too much to do with autism. I have chosen not to mention in in the interview because I did not know how they would translate this into the article. However, there is a strong link between autism and loneliness shown in this article, as, how bizar it might be, 3 out of 5 woman interviewed do speak about autism!!!

One of them is a 37 year old woman who recently was diagnosed with PDD-NOS, one mother of a young son diagnosed with Asperger's and an elderly lady who is the mother of an adult son who was diagnosed with autism.I will post the whole article tomorrow, the pictures are just touching I think.

FAQ 6. Why do you post this here?

Because there is a link between autism and loneliness shown in the article. And because I am so proud to have done this. My self confidence has increased knowing I can be so beautiful!

This is the picture I want to share with you, it's one of the pictures taken during the photoshoot:

Update! Autism and Travel, Love.

aspiebird2006@yahoo.co.uk (Aspie Bird) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 08:34:00 PDT

Been away for a while. I apologize if you came here to find there had been no update. The Love thing is doing well, LOVE gives much energy and adds a golden touch at Life I think. He is so caring and sweet and has much to offer me.I slowly come down to earth and realise that normal life continues...

You might be interested to find out that- after such a long time of hesitation where and how to go on vacation- I finally choose Vienna, the city in which my grandmother was born, to be my destination. I booked a complete group bus tour with Half Board. The group counted about 40 other persons, mostly elderly couples. Yes, a group. Yes, away from home all by myself.

Vienna itself was wonderful to see, I will post some pictures here next week or so. Ofcourse the group thing was quite stressful, but things went fine. I decided to be open to some group members about my autism in order to explain my fear of traffic and crossing streets. (Well, I know there are many people with autism who have no problems crossing streets and therefore one can not say that this fear was caused by autism. It can be related, but those fears and autism does not have to go toghether) Anyway, the response I got from other group members and the busdriver/tourleader was great! After having explained why I could not eat in crowdy dinner rooms, they arranged for me that I take away my dinner to my hotelroom! WOW! That was great.

I was the youngest passenger of this group. Sometimes I was supported by others walking down the streets of Wonderful Vienna. It was a great relief people were so friendly.This all was very touching!

During this group tour I decided to get much sleep and much rest as I needed, so I did not hang around in the hotel lobby and slept very much. That was the golden rule I think that made this tour easier for me. Otherwise there would have been more stress.

Some other news now...

As you can see my profile picture has been changed. This picture was taken during a photoshoot last June. The fotoshoot was to complete an article about loneliness. The magazine involved is the country's nr. 1 Glossy magazine (110.000 magazines sold monthly)This picture is not the picture which goes with the article, probably because I look too happy...

Will tell you more about the magazine tomorrow! Promise!

Bye for now
As the return trip from Vienna towards home lasted 3 days you might imagine I am kind of sleepy now...

It was fine...

aspiebird2006@yahoo.co.uk (Aspie Bird) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 01:21:00 PDT

The first date in years has resulted in a very nice meeting between two people. Yes, the magic click was there. We had plenty to talk of and afterwards there were another 1000 questions to ask him.

So, we decided to take things slow and become good friends...
After a week of intense emotions it feels good life returns to normal, however I must say my daily structure and inner rest has been disturbed in a strange way by all this.

No one will take away yesterdays experiences, whatever the future might bring.

Between butterflies and both feet on the ground. Yes, he knows about my ASD and understands. It was very sweet of him to tell me when he noticed I wanted to be on my own for a while at the end of the date. He told me he could see that on my face....That is good!

Meanwhile several projects are still there to be continued.
Yes, the mattter of moving into the real world again (away from the country side) and the question wheter I go back into education or not...

To be continued.

Yes, I am Dating again! HAPPY

aspiebird2006@yahoo.co.uk (Aspie Bird) — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 04:24:00 PDT

Many many times I read and heard people talking about romance telling me that things will come upon your path as you do not expect them to do so. So, here I am now, telling you what the others already knew, Yes, the love thing "could happen" if you are not digging for love too hard.

Yes, I am dating again. This could be the first serious relationship after I got diagnosed some years ago. Things went very fast. Must tell you I do not know him in real life yet, but that will change this weekend. Execited but nervous. He is cute and understanding and has a life of his own and does understand what Asperger is like. In a way I just like taking part in this romance thing but on the other hand I can fully imagine living my life just the way it was before.

So...here is a video to say it all for now...

September Monday

aspiebird2006@yahoo.co.uk (Aspie Bird) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 00:05:00 PDT

Yes, life has returned to normal. Although there are of extra activities this week, this may end up as the normal schedule. Hope you are all doing fine. Recently my thirties ended and now I am just a beginner at 40 years old. That is strange. Feels like leaving behind the young and restless days. Over the last weeks there have been many nice activities with friends, family and so on.

Today I have to find out how to deal with an amount of extra free time without having made a schedule so far how to fill those extra hours. It could be tricky, but with help of some list those hours can be filled without feeling lost or having a meltdown.

Doing fine so far, try to start blogging again. Wishing you a pleasant day!
Take care

Knock knock : it's me again...

aspiebird2006@yahoo.co.uk (Aspie Bird) — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 13:10:00 PDT

Hi Everyone,
Hope you are all doing ok. I know some members of this hub have hard times now, I follow you through the mailinglist. Keep hope, things will be better!

Never thought I would be so busy. Lots of things to attend, lots of things to be experienced and many things to do in- and outside my home.

This weekend I pampered myself to a "hammam" visit, it's a typical Eastern/Moslim bath house. I wanted to be clean before I hit my 40th B-day next Sunday.
Mmmm this all feels very well, my body was very pleased to get rid of all those dirty things. It's a good way to clean your mind as well.

Now, I must go to bed. I will continue to blog here, but there first must be a kind of rest in my life again.

Take care,
Oant sjen (see you later= Frysian language)
Aspie Bird

O yes, my depression seems to have disappeared due to new medicine. However, autism sill sucks sometimes I can enjoy the good moments of life now better. Hug for you all!

Summer:Time to enjoy

aspiebird2006@yahoo.co.uk (Aspie Bird) — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 04:34:00 PDT

In order not to loose my daily structure I have been working all weeks this summer. While people were away the silence of my office was wonderful. It's good to see all those people in the office again however.

Some ups and downs came upon my way, running up 'that' hill again took some time, but we made it again.

Lots of festivities to celebrate, this summer is ok.

If you might be anxious about my weight: I have never been fatter in my whole life. Actually I was a little proud when I reached my first kilogramme that is just above the BMI standard. That made my day. I finally felt like all the other woman.
Just amazing afer having been skinny for over 38 years.

Hope you are doing ok, your comments are very positive, thank you!

TTYL

Hello Again!

aspiebird2006@yahoo.co.uk (Aspie Bird) — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 13:30:00 PDT

Hi There, Are you having a good summer time?
Lots of things happened in the past weeks, most of them were pleasant ones.

Hope you are doing ok. I am doing fine, no plans for holiday adventures so far.

Because of the summer time this blog will be updated twice week during from today till August 15th. Eh...do not know which days ...just check the site, will you? Thank you!

Enjoy life!

Summer Moves On

aspiebird2006@yahoo.co.uk (Aspie Bird) — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 00:47:00 PDT

Summer Time brings the joy of strawberries from my own garden, long evenings, and ofcourse Summer Holiday. One does not have to travel far to be able to enjoy Summer at it's best. Surrounded by nature and not too far away from culture, library, friends summer life is good. And what about just staying home and do some gardening? This year many Dutch people choose to spend their vacation in our own country because of the economic situation. This week it was announced that 1:10 people is expected to become jobless in 2010 in The Netherlands!! I feel lucky to have a regular income because of my Disabilty Insurance Act payment. Despite the negative news about the economic crisis, I realise that we live however in a rich (First) world. We do not have to worry about a daily struggle to get food, this week it was announced that more people than ever worldwide are said to suffer from lack of food.

Since my last blogpost lots of things happened. And many more things come up.
I will take a break from blogging daily from June 19th till July 21st, 2009.
When there is need to write, I'll write, but not on a daily base.
After this summer break, the blog will continue.

Wishing you all a perfect Summer!

Blogging Slow Life

aspiebird2006@yahoo.co.uk (Aspie Bird) — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 09:26:00 PDT

Oops, this morning I realised that I had forgotten something yesterday...uh...well blogging... That means the line of daily blogs from January 1st till December 31st, 2009 has been interrupted...Ah.., kind of pity, but not a major disaster.

I might take a blogging time out these days, or my blogging will continue but on a low profile. A writers block, garden special interest and summertime are the reasons I write less about autism.

Will back soon, in a few days or so. After all, blogging is a kind of daily routine now...

They make my day!

aspiebird2006@yahoo.co.uk (Aspie Bird) — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 13:58:00 PDT

The peonies from my parent's garden make my day! Each day is a new adventure to see how they grow and shine all over the room. They smell delicious too!

Here are some pictures of my garden. Gardening is for me a perfect way to exercise, make my head empty and to enjoy nature.

Click on the title of this blogpost to be forwarded to a peonies specialist.

Enjoy!

Undetected autism in women manifests as anorexia nervosa

aspiebird2006@yahoo.co.uk (Aspie Bird) — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 13:50:00 PDT

Undetected autism in women manifests as anorexia nervosa

Shared via AddThis

Autism & Food: Anorexia & Autism

aspiebird2006@yahoo.co.uk (Aspie Bird) — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 13:45:00 PDT

There seems to be a link between Autism and Anorexia. Does not surprise me. The problems with eating, the low self esteem etc.

A GROWING appreciation of the links between anorexia and autism spectrum disorders has uncovered new opportunities for treating the eating disorder.

Mental health professionals are now attempting to train the brains of people with anorexia to be more flexible and to see the big picture as well as fine details. In doing so, they hope patients will be less inclined to obsess about body weight and calories and be better equipped to overcome their eating disorder in the long term, as well as gaining weight more immediately.

Last month, the international Academy for Eating Disorders published a paper calling for eating disorders (EDs) such as anorexia and bulimia to receive the same degree of healthcare as other biologically based mental illnesses such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) (International Journal of Eating Disorders, DOI: 10.1002/eat.20589). Other groups are even calling for anorexia to be placed in the same diagnostic category as autism spectrum disorders (ASD).

The main reason for this change is a growing understanding of the biological basis of EDs. Twin studies suggest that between 50 and 83 per cent of EDs have a genetic basis. Now, evidence suggests that people with anorexia have cognitive traits associated with ASD. "Eating disorders and autism spectrum disorders are obviously not the same thing, but they do have some things in common," says Janet Treasure of the Institute of Psychiatry in London.

Anorexia and autism are obviously not the same thing, but they have some things in common
Treasure had already discovered that anorexia was associated with extreme attention to detail and a rigid, inflexible style of thinking - traits also associated with ASD.

To investigate further, her team used neuropsychological tests to measure central coherence, or the ability to see the big picture as well as the finer details, in 42 women with anorexia and 42 without it. Women with anorexia had weaker central coherence, with a bias towards local, rather than global processing (International Journal of Eating Disorders, vol 41, p 143).

In a separate study, Treasure and her colleagues found that 45 per cent of people with anorexia or bulimia have problems "set-shifting", or modifying their behaviour in response to changing goals, compared to just 10 per cent of healthy people.

This type of focused thinking can be a beneficial skill, but when thinking becomes obsessive, for example, it can be destructive, says Treasure, who presented her results at a meeting of the British Psychological Society in Brighton, earlier this month.

In another series of studies, Treasure's team, together with Kate Tchanturia, also of the Institute of Psychiatry, assessed empathy, systemising ability, and other traits on the autistic spectrum in 22 women with anorexia and 45 without it. They found that although those with the eating disorder didn't differ from healthy women in terms of empathising or systemising, they did show elevated scores on other autistic traits like poorer social skills, and greater attention to detail (British Journal of Clinical Psychology, DOI: 10.1348/014466507x272475).

Simon Baron-Cohen of the Autism Research Centre in Cambridge, UK, is also measuring whether adolescents with anorexia score higher on autistic traits than healthy people, as he suspects that some of them may actually have undiagnosed Asperger's syndrome. "We have always known that Asperger's syndrome was diagnosed more often in males," he says. "The new question is whether it takes a different form in females, and can account for at least a subgroup of those who are diagnosed with anorexia."

If it does, this could have important implications for the way that anorexia is treated. "As well as treating the 'eating disorder' the clinician and the patient might [also] focus on social skills," says Baron-Cohen, although he adds that weight gain would remain a key target.

Tchanturia is already conducting a study in around 30 people with anorexia, who are having cognitive remediation therapy (CRT) to encourage flexible and bigger-picture thinking. For example, patients are given an exercise in which they have to summarise several pages of text, to practice seeing the gist rather than the details. "We're putting the focus on how people think, rather than what people think," says Tchanturia.

The technique has already had some success - in a pilot study of 19 patients with anorexia, 17 patients said they felt it helped them to think more flexibly - although it's too early to say whether it will help their anorexia in the long-term. "They found the treatment helpful in reducing their perfectionist tendencies and it helped them to see things more holistically," Tchanturia says (International Journal of Eating Disorders, DOI: 10.1002/eat.20536).

There are quite some interesting studies on this subject. Click on the title of this blogpost to be forwarded to another interesting article about Anorexia and Autism published in The Times, 2007.

Empathy

aspiebird2006@yahoo.co.uk (Aspie Bird) — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 12:46:00 PDT

The strangest thing about empathy is that I still try to find the clue to solve this empathy mystery. It's just like finding the answer of a ever lasting riddle. In daily conversations I have noticed that lack of empathy is something I hate and which makes me very insecure. But please do not ask me to describe the empathy thing looks or sounds like, I can not tell you what it tastes like, it's just a grey hole of a missing brain link.

Today it was a lazy Sunday although I did some serious gardening from 09.30 till noon. The aftmernoon was filled with an unexpected visitor and that was ok, although it is a mirror having someone around because it makes clear that my social talk skills are not the way I want them to be. The empathy thing makes me missing lots of things I guess.

When the house was clean enough I decided to do some painting again. That was a long long time ago. An intense yellow feeling came over me.
Made 4 works with lots of colors. With the radio on I felt quite happy being in my own art studio.

While painting I got back the contact with my inner source. It was so good to do, although not everything I made was perfect I believe it is more important to create to let your thoughts find a way to express themselves. After the moment a shape has reached the paper a relief takes place. This was what bothered me. Now it has been translated into paint. A great way to express myself and flee me from autism worries.

D-Day: Thank you Americans and Britons!

aspiebird2006@yahoo.co.uk (Aspie Bird) — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 12:49:00 PDT

Thank you again for fighting our freedom! As today D-Day marked 65 years of remembrance I watched a news special about the service held close to the D-Day beaches in France. The speech President Obama held was very impressive and personal.
It was good to see Prince Charles was there as well.

Thank you America and Great Briton for fighting for our freedom. So many of your people have paid for our freedom with their lives!

Did not do that much today, my autism blogging inspiration might come back later after some serious cleaning has been done in both my gardens and my home. Cleaning gives room for new idea's they say.

Have a good weekend. Been to the library, 4 books to read! Can't wait to start!

Autism Reality

aspiebird2006@yahoo.co.uk (Aspie Bird) — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 13:13:00 PDT

It is often said people with autism live in their own world.
I guess that is partly true. Autism is my shadow.

Sometimes life hurts. Counting my blessings. Sunshine, love, affection, kindness, blue sky, new horizons, new contacts, freedom of speech etc. etc.

Do not know what to tell you right now about my own world these moments.
It's dark in there. Been away but just these minutes the darkness is back.

Autism is not about what we can not do. It is about what we can and what we are.
We are good people. Pure. Each day is a blessing, even with autism.

Wishing you all goodnight. This weekend I might find inspiration for something interesting to write about.

Elections: Vote for Singles!

aspiebird2006@yahoo.co.uk (Aspie Bird) — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 11:15:00 PDT

As one of the first countries, Holland has today the chance to vote for a new European Parlement. There are many issues that count for me, although The European Parlement seems to be far far away. Well that is an understatement for all political organizations I guess.

Many people with autism are singles. By choice or not the single life can sometimes be a lonely experience. Singles are often discriminated, e.g. the supplement one has to pay for a single room. It is good there are organisations like the Dutch C.I.S.A. (Centre for Individual and Society. Last year C.I.S.A. celebrated her 20th anniversary with a conference. One of the speakers that day was Mr.Alexander Pechtold, political leader of D'(emocrats) 66, one of the countries fast growing political parties. C.I.S.A. and D'66 have found one another, D'66 comes up for the rights of singles, in The Netherlands and promised to do the same in European Parlement.

I voted today for Mrs. Sophie in 't Veld, the D'66 European candidate.
To all European voters: please think about the singles!

Commercial

aspiebird2006@yahoo.co.uk (Aspie Bird) — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 00:45:00 PDT

Today my job coach and I, we are going to the presentation of the commercial in which I take part. I am curious to see what the producer made of it.
When possible I will show the commercial here.

Clouds passing by

aspiebird2006@yahoo.co.uk (Aspie Bird) — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 13:04:00 PDT

Life is a journey. Each day can be the start of a new discovery. While gardening in my front garden I remove the grass which has grown between the tiles the freedom of mind once again comes alive. It feels like my inner source has something to tell me.
Being statisfied with the result (the path to my front door has never looked better since I live here) I stand and watch my garden. The birds are singing in the sky. The summer has begun. Clouds in the sky are passing by without disturbing the sunshine warmth.

This is life. In the silence of a summer evening I realise I might already have all the equipment needed for the journey through life.

It's all there it is just a matter of removing things that might block your way.
When I enter the house I almost immediately close the curtains. Goodbye World, although it is not dark yet, I close the connection with the outside world this way.

My inner source comes alive when sitting down the sofa afterwards. Wearing my pyjama I look around and let the thougths of life come alive. Life is good, and what does not belong to me or does not contribute to my growth, I just throw it away over my shoulder. Like clouds passing by. Autism is not that bad I guess, it makes your inner source create beautiful flowers for the future.

Autism & Food: They do not fit anymore

aspiebird2006@yahoo.co.uk (Aspie Bird) — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 01:51:00 PDT

Due to my diet to gain we weight, I have reached a normal weight now.
The days I was skinny seem to be over. One of the things that comes with extra kilogrammes is the fact that many clothes do not fit anymore. It is frustrating trying a pair of trousers on and to discover half way that there is no way you fit into it. My bottom and hips and belly are bigger then ever! Proud of it, but somethimes grrr. I just want to wear my clothes. I just love them, those old clothes. Now I had to buy new clothes.

Well, anyway I am happy over all with my extra weight. Another difference has been solved, I am just like anyone else with my average weight now.

I have promised you to write about Anorexia and Autism because there seem to be many common things. But sorry, the weather is too good to stay long time online doing research and so. So next week, when everything is back to normal, I write about Anorexia and Autism, ok?

Have a good day,
Aspie Bird

Unexpected Treasures

aspiebird2006@yahoo.co.uk (Aspie Bird) — Sun, 31 May 2009 14:08:00 PDT

While travelling throughout the country today I had several unexpected conversations. It was fun. I might be more open to people. Feels good.
Feels good, interaction with other people! I cherish these moments like treasures.

Have fun, enjoy life.

Weather is super here! Warm and sunny!

Fun! Street Theatre Festival

aspiebird2006@yahoo.co.uk (Aspie Bird) — Sat, 30 May 2009 13:08:00 PDT

There was much to enjoy at the Street Theatre Festival in the Frisian Capital Leeuwarden today. One of the acts was Les Goulus (The Horsemen) We saw the same act as on the video. I had a great day out with a good friend of mine. My street phobia has become less, or life was just better today. Even life with autism can be good.
Just watch this video, it's so funny hahahaha
Have fun!