He inquired, “Where have you been?”

God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, “Look, Michael.. Look what I’ve made.”

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, “What is it?”

“It’s a planet,” replied God, and I’ve put life on it… I’m going to call it Earth and it’s going to be a place to test Balance.”

“Balance?” inquired Michael, “I’m still confused.”

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. “For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I’ve placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people.  Balance in all things.”

God continued pointing to different countries. “This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.”

The Archangel , impressed by God’s work, then pointed to a land area and said, “What’s that one?”

“That’s the State of Texas , the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, beaches and plains. The people from the State of Texas are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things.”

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, “But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance..”

God smiled, “There’s Washington DC .  Wait till you see the idiots I put there.”

(Part 2)

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Tall trucks smashing into same overpasses.  This is a good way to waste the afternoon.

She has been rehomed at the animal park, which is also home to wolves, wallabies, deer and otters in 25 acres of ancient woodland, after being abandoned by her mother. Jessie was offered a few scraps of ham to entice her into posing but she quickly became so fascinated by the cameras she put on a performance of her own making. Simon, from Eastleigh, Hants, said: “Jessie was very playful and inquisitive and not at all camera shy. Soon after I arrived she was chewing my shoes and everything seemed to be a game to her. Then she started exploring the camera I had set up on a tripod in her outdoor pen.

“She stood on her hind legs to peer into the lens and then used a tree stump to get a better look at the back of the camera. She balanced her front paws on it and at one point knocked it over.” Simon repositioned the camera on the tripod nearer the tree stump and Jessie soon hopped back up. At one point she had all four paws on the camera and was wobbling to keep her balance. Simon added: “She jumped up there several times and I realised it could make a good picture. As I was snapping away with the public’s viewing window behind me, I thought I heard the camera go off but didn’t think much of it.

“But when I checked the memory card afterwards, I was amazed to see Jessie had actually taken two frames of me photographing her. When she’d stood on the camera, one of her front paws was actually on the shutter release. I couldn’t believe I had been outfoxed by a fox. She got lucky because the camera was on auto settings and although I’m not in focus, her reflection in the mirrored viewing window was. She obviously decided she was more important to photograph than me. I just hope she doesn’t do me out of a job!”

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Wealthy beyond his wildest dreams, Ned went on the lecture circuit, where he told his incredible story.

He told his audiences that he was eternally grateful to his benefactor, and if he ever found the man he would share his fortune with him. After months of lectures, a man in the audience jumped up and said,

“I’m that man. I was in Vegas in 1992. I was the one who gave you the dime.”

“You’re not the one I’m looking for. I’m looking for the guy who left the stall door open!”

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