Anything but Gatorade

CALIPARI'S MUSTANG VS. BROOKS'S F-150: WHO YA GOT?

2010-03-10T09:22:00.001-05:00

WHO YA GOT?

RICH BROOKS F-150

PROS:

~~Like a rock~~ Built Ford Tough
Toby Keith Envy
Has a man-step
Great for hauling tomatoes
Definitely not bullshit

CONS:

Might fall asleep in transit
Gas mileage? What gas mileage?
Might leave you wistful for days gone by
OnStar is not included, but a MedAlert Personal Emergency Response is
Somehow always ends up in Tennessee after Christmas

JOHN CALIPARI SIGNATURE ROUSH 427 MUSTANG

PROS:

You won't have any problem recruiting...the ladies
Black and blue paint job will confuse any Lexington cop
Guaranteed to produce better results than your last drunken asshole of a car did
Bruce Pearl hates it
Will win lots more races than you think it will

CONS:

Might take off and leave you with all those ladies you picked up in it
May or may not be responsible for traffic violations that you were previously unaware of
Even though you managed to score with 10 ladies over the past few weeks, will remind you that five of those didn't count
Paint colors are sneakily similar to those of the Orlando Magic
Sandy Bell is omnipresent in the back seat

That's the tale of the tape, kids. COMMENTERS, F-150 vs. MUSTANG: WHO YA GOT?

SOMETHING DIFFERENT: HUMAN FIREBALL

2010-03-09T09:12:00.000-05:00

OMFG! Actual sports related photo! LMFAO!

Not much to talk about sports-wise today (although if that's what you're looking for then there are reports out of Goodyear, AZ that some new Reds pitcher is throwing some serious heat) because the SEC regular season is over and the conference tournament doesn't start until Thursday, or for those of us with byes, Friday. I got tickets, by the way. No, your jealousy is not flattering.

Anyway, since no one's got a game for a few days, I thought I'd take a look at actual events happening on campus. Oh, hey, look at that, the SAE's at UK won the annual "Light Someone on Fire and Then Assault Cops-A-Thon"! Those crazy kids these days, what will they think of next? In my grandparents' day it was "how many kids can you stuff in a phone booth", then with my parents it was "stuff a flower in the National Guard's M16s", with my friends it was "look how far I can throw this mattress off the roof" and now it's "wrap up your buddy in toilet paper and turn him into the Human Flame". Evolution of dance has nothing on college students!

Seriously, that is really, really stupid. I did a lot of stupid things in college, but it takes more than just booze and your frat bros to incite you to light your friend on fire. I could get all high and mighty and say "well, that's an SAE for you" but I don't have much frame of reference because they kind of sucked while I was in school. And only an idiot hits a Lexington cop. Those guys have a Napoleon complex like you wouldn't believe, and are just DYING to pop a college kid with a flashlight if given the opportunity. So talking shit and then taking a swing at one probably isn't going to make your day. Best wishes to the kid who got lit on fire, and SAE gets what's coming to them for something stupid like that.

WALK OF SHAME: SPRING IS COMING

2010-03-08T09:29:00.000-05:00

That handbag does NOT go with those shoes.

So it wasn't exactly a glorious weekend for readers of this blog who stayed in and watched basketball. Vanderbilt got beat at home by Mighty Mouse and his merry band of ne'er-do-wells from South Carolina. Tennessee absolutely crushed Mississippi State in Starkville. Kentucky didn't exactly play inspired basketball on Senior + Patrick Patterson Day, but it was good enough to win. Camillo Villegas didn't look totally ridiculous when he won the Honda Classic yesterday. That doesn't have anything to do with Kentucky or Vanderbilt, but it's still true. Link on:

Not sure if you've been following this at all (it's been going on for a while) but Ole Miss is trying to find something to replace the venerable Col. Reb as their mascot and the leader in the clubhouse is Admiral Ackbar. You know, the fish-head guy from Star Wars who knows a trap when he sees one. Taiwan (yes, the whole country) made a video to catch you up to speed if you happen to speak Chinese. [EDSBS]
Patrick Patterson isn't coming back next year, I think that's pretty obvious. Brian Bennett, who used to write for the Courier Journal but now blogs or something for ESPN, does a nice story on PPat's Kentucky career. [MONOLITH]
My buddy and yours, Douglas James, wants you to lay off A.J. Ogilvy - he's got feelings, too, you know. [VSL]
I'm from Louisville but I hate UofL so the whole "last game in Freedom Hall" thing was sort of important but in a snarky way for me. The damn Quads beat Syracuse like a drum in the second half on Saturday, btw. Anyway, here's a missive on the importance or something of that barn out off I-65. I think it's spot on, but the comments are more than entertaining. [Jon Bois]
I know it's the most important part of basketball season, and the Reds are trying to kill me, but here's kind of an old post examining the Reds' offseason moves going into spring training. Try to restrain yourselves. [RED REPORTER]

Have a nice Monday, people-weeples.

UGH, GATORS.

2010-03-05T02:24:00.002-05:00

This has nothing to do with basketball, but dammit it's funny. HT: Warming Glow.

Kentucky's Senior/Junior/Not Gonna Be Here Next Season Night/Day/Late Morning is on Sunday, with tipoff at noon. Lexington's parsons, priests and pastors would be distressed and upset with this infringement upon God's holy sermon schedule, but they're too busy trying to find tickets and buying Mark Krebs t-shirts. We play Florida. I really, really hate Florida. But the Gators are probably more than a little interested in the outcome of the game because it sort of, you know, determines whether they'll be dancing or slumming it in the NIT again. Given their recent track record, the NIT is a probability. Vanderbilt took the Alligators' best shot on Tuesday and won anyway. Kentucky beat them pretty handily earlier in the season, too. So what's there to worry about, other than losing the game, an outright SEC regular season title, and a potential #1 seed in the NCAAT?

A quick take on the matchups: Walker and Boynton are good, but as we (more likely I) saw on Wednesday and Thursday, a single guy can guard them, and Wall and Bledsoe/Liggins/whoever else at the 2 can stop anyone when they care enough. I expect Cousins to guard Macklin, who's getting more assertive these days but come on, it's Cousins. Tyus is sort of an x-factor but Patrick has played otherworldly lately so screw balding Predator on that one. Finally, since it's Ramon's Senior Day, he'll probably be in charge of Parsons or Werner who sucks, so as long as those guys are zeroed out, Ramon wins.

I get to go to this one, but any hope of pre-drinking before the game and Senior festivities is probably shot because Lexington thinks beer and Sundays go together like Oprah and a treadmill. Go Cats, anyway.

VANDY V. CHICKENS

2010-03-04T14:19:00.000-05:00

The first thing that comes up when you google "vandy chicken." Sans pickles, I approve.

My distaste for the University of South Carolina is going to tinge this post. Actually, the post would have been tinged anyway because, hey, look who's writing it. Anyway, the Commodoringtons round out the regular season on Saturday in Memorial against the Gamecocks. I don't like them. They're a good team...

/checks USC Jr. schedule

...wait no they're not. Losing record in conference? Check. Owners of a six game losing streak, including a really bad home loss Wednesday night against Alabama? Check. 11% chance of winning their last regular season game? Check. Come on, Dores, do your worst and put Devan Mightymouse Downey out of his misery. Vanderbilt handily beat the Cocks on their home floor, which I think might be a file warehouse for a bank, back in January. You know the drill, now get the job done.

Oh, and some Vandy-dandy links:

Dimon addresses those whiny Vandy fans who can't understand why VU football can't do what VU basketball does. He also questions my loyalty. Touche, Messr. Twolastnames.
Vandy's ~~official~~ ~~unofficial~~ whatever blogger Justin Barca breaks down the SEC Tournament seeding and schedule. Thankfully he doesn't go Joe Dean, Jr. on us and explain that 1 and 2 might meet in the championship if they win all their games.
That John Jenkins fellow sure is swell, by golly. Anchor of Gold likes him enough to grace him with an official nickname (Threesus - get out your Bibles, divinity students), one that I probably won't use because names are like labels, the Nazis made flair for the Jews to wear, and nobody puts Baby in a corner. What?
Our friend Eric at Dore Posts got him some new non-Blogger network digs, so you should check it out.

Enjoy the game Saturday, kiddos.

CATS SHOOT, CATS WIN

2010-03-04T11:12:00.000-05:00

Darnell Dodson from behind the arc last night.

That really sums it up. Dodson shot 50% behind the arc, everyone else shot it pretty well, and the Cats won going away. A really good defensive effort certainly helped. That Price guy was a pain in the ass and the white guy made some stupid threes, but victory was never in doubt once halftime came around. Oh, and glad to see that Jon Hood got all that playing time after asking Cal to put him in more. 42 seconds is your reward, Hoodie.

The remainder of this post is going to be used to bitch about the SEC Network. What's different about it compared to JP Sports, the uninformed might ask? ESPN graphics and a shittier satellite, that's what. Joe Dean, Jr. is still talking out of his ass. Dave Neal is still competent at play-by-play. But the actual broadcast is freaking terrible. I missed almost the entire first half and had to watch some manufactured medical drama with castoffs from Gossip Girl and a ghost whisperer before basketball actually came on TV. WAVE-3 tried to crawl an apology during the game itself, but it came across as "HOW DARE YOU CALL US TO COMPLAIN WHEN WE CAN'T BROADCAST SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING! THE GALL!" So in sum, go jump off a bridge, SEC Network. You suck.

JIMMY DYKES CALLS A CHILI COOKOFF

2010-03-03T09:52:00.000-05:00

THAT'S SMILE CONSISTENCY.

BRAD NESSLER: Hey, everyone, and welcome to this year's SEC Basketball Chili Cookoff in Music City, USA. All the big chili fans are out in force here, and the big SEC chili cooks are ready to give them what they want. I'm Brad Nessler alongside Jimmy Dykes, and we're ready for some chili action!

JIMMY DYKES: That's right, Brad, and it looks like they're going to get started right away! Over here in this square area is Chef Kevin Stallings. He likes to use a lot of chili powder and peppers for POWER, and that's where he gets his points. I like to call that area the POWER HOT ZONE! That's because he makes hot chili, and that's where his points come from when the judges score him! POWER HOT ZONE, Brad.

BRAD: Uh, thanks, Jimmy. Up next, we've got Chef Rotnei Clark.

JIMMY: Yeah, Brad, I was watching Clark warm up his chili pot this morning to prepare for the cookoff. One thing you'll notice about him is that in warming up and during competition he is very consistent with the number of beans he puts in his chili. THAT'S BEAN CONSISTENCY, Brad. He always uses the same amount of BEANS! BEAN CONSISTENCY!!

BRAD: Sure thing, Jimmy. Over at Table 12 there's Chef John "Chili" Calipari. You've got some experience being in his shoes, don't you, Jimmy?

JIMMY: Well, I don't know if I'd call it that, Brad. I'd never say I know what it's like to be Chili Calipari, but I did sleep on Adolph Rupp's couch once!

BRAD: ...um, what?

JIMMY: I slept on Adoph Rupp's couch once.

BRAD: /dead silence

JIMMY: It smelled like gym socks and WINNING, I'll tell you that much, Brad!

BRAD:.................Ooohhhhkay, moving on to our next contestant, Chef Ramon Harris. He's struggled to impress the judges.

JIMMY: Yeah, I know Chef Harris is good at fending off other competitors, but really, Brad, the thing that limits him is that he's a NON-POURER. He can shut down other chili chefs, but he just can't get the chili into the bowl when he gets the opportunity. NON-POURER!!!

BRAD: Really, Jimmy? Non-pourer? You're trying to make that a catch phrase?

JIMMY: NON-POURER, Brad. All the scouts are saying it.

BRAD: What scouts? This is a chili cookoff.

JIMMY: Oh there are scouts. AND, I talk to them on a regular basis. THAT'S TALK CONSISTENCY, Brad.

BRAD: Seriously? That's what you came up wi--WOAH, look at Chef Jodie Meeks go after that ground beef! He's using that meat cleaver like it's a scalpel!

JIMMY: He sure is, Brad! Meeks is so good because when he gets a meat cleaver in his hands, he makes VIOLENT CUTS with the knife. Those CUTS, they're so VIOLENT that no one can stop him! VIOLENT CUTS!!!

BRAD: Oh hell.

FLORIDA LOSES. GEORGIA, YOU'RE NEXT.

2010-03-03T09:11:00.000-05:00

Hard to hate on that.

Vanderbilt showed some actual toughness on the road last night in a tight win over Florida. Jenkins had a real coming-out party (not that kind of coming out party), hitting six threes and making a couple nice defensive plays. A.J. got pretty aggressive, which was good to see, although Vernon Macklin made him his bitch a few times. Wasn't counting on that. In the end, Florida was pretty cold from outside and that was their undoing despite holding a pretty solid lead for a chunk of the second half. Second place is all but assured for the Commies now, barring a late collapse from our beloved Wahhhhldcayuts.

Speaking of which, Los Gatos Locos are heading down to Athens tonight to play the toughest losing team ever, Los Perros Toros. One of my favorite things is putting Spanish words into normal English dialogue. It drives my wife crazy. My dad does it all the time, too. My mom tries to do it, but it mostly turns into English words with -O at the end, like "truck-o" and "horse-o". It gets funnier if you're drinking. Anyway, the Dawgs played the Cats scary close at Rupp earlier this season, so there's reason for some consternation by the Kentucky faithful. That gets worse when you realize that Trey Thompkins is a load in the paint and really gets after it, and that Leslie guy turns into a poor man's Devan Downey on occasion. I think Cousins is going to have a better time with Thompkins this time around, but he'll have to play smart. All that sort of goes away if Kentucky breaks its awful perimeter shooting streak, which has been the subject of a lot of conversation around the inter-tubes since Saturday's loss to Tennessee.

Georgia's tough. The Cats really don't need another league loss, because it would put them in a tie with Vandy for 1st and even though we own the tiebreaker, it's still not cool. If Kentucky concentrates for the entire 40 minutes, something they haven't done often this year, they'll win. If not, then the damn Florida game on Sunday gets a lot more important. Come on, Cats, you shouldn't have waited so long to clinch the league. Get your act together. VAMANOS!

I GOT NOTHING

2010-03-02T09:12:00.002-05:00

Vandy plays in Gainesville tonight against the Gators. I hate the Gators. That little gym they play in is a joke. "OOoooohhhh, it's so intimidating in there!" There are bigger high school gyms, man. Joke. Jerry O'Connell should be pissed they named a building after him.

Florida tries to beat teams with runs toward the basket and some perimeter shooting. They have three guys who can stroke it (haha, stroke it) from outside in Parsons, Walker and Boynton. None of those three are ever hot at the same time, though, so if Vandy can find the hot hand early, they'll be okay. Florida will then try to give it to Alex Tyus's receding hairline. Tyus will wildly throw himself toward the basket and either a) get fouled, b) keep running out of bounds, c) throw up a shot over the top of the backboard, or d) fall down. Notice that the possibility of scoring points is almost nowhere to be found in any of those scenarios. The Dores should win this one, but it will not be easy. They'll have to show up and take off their warmups, which is harder than it sounds. Go Dores! KILLLLL THE GATORS.

WALK OF SHAME: 50/50

2010-03-01T08:54:00.000-05:00

I'll be honest, I'm exhausted from a long weekend in Dayton, OH of all places, so this post is going to be short. Good news first: Vanderbilt pounded the hell out of the Hogs in Fayetteville on Saturday afternoon to firm up their stranglehold on 2nd in the East (and really, the whole league). I didn't watch the game, so you'll have to rely on the guys at VSL, Anchor of Gold, and Eric at Dore Posts for actual reviews, and, you know, content.

Bad news: I watched Kentucky suck it up in Knoxville. Make no mistake, the Cats had no business winning that game. The Vols capitalized on stupid turnovers, shredded Kentucky's transition "defense" and somehow managed to avoid fouling out anyone who was actually important (read: not Kenny Hall). Kentucky missed 20 three pointers. 20. You don't miss 20 threes and win, you just don't. No one played all that well except for Patrick Patterson and Wall in some spots. Darius Miller tried to take the game over in the last five minutes and almost pulled it off until he saw a shiny penny on the baseline with about a minute to do and turned the ball over. That pretty much lost the game, but I really don't blame Darius. Without him, we wouldn't have even been in that position.

The Cats shot like shit and that's why they lost. Big picture? Nothing really changes. Assuming Kentucky wins out and makes it to the SECT finals (which they should), the #1 seed is still firmly in place. Lose to Georgia this week in Athens, well, things change a little. Then they really have to do well in the SECT to keep that seed. Lucky for Kentucky, Kansas lost, too, as did former projected 1 seed Purdue. Syracuse killed Villanova, though, so they probably improved their position. All is not lost, Cats fans. I think Kentucky rebounds nicely from the L and keeps up their dominating fashion to close out the season.

HOGS AND ORANGES ALL ROLLED UP INTO ONE

2010-02-26T10:49:00.000-05:00

That's about right.

Kentucky and Vanderbilt overlap in game times tomorrow, which is kind of interesting. Kentucky plays at Tennessee at noon on CBS and Vanderbilt plays at the Pig Sty at 1:30 EST. It's kind of a same-song-different-verse type game for Kentucky, as UT's wheels seem to be falling off. Sure, it's a home game, but how many people do you think are going to show up on campus for noon tipoff? "IF IT AIN'T IN NEYLAND, I AIN'T A-GOIN'", Vols fans will probably say. That, or they'll have been up way too late getting high and robbing gas stations to make it to that bathtub of an arena in time. None of this means that Kentucky will win easily, of course, but provided the Cats own the boards, the game should not be in doubt.

Vandy, on the other hand, is dealing with a rather enigmatic Arkansas team that has a terrible record but somehow has a chance to win the SEC West. You could really say that about any West team except LSU, but the Hogs actually owned first place in the division for a little while down there. Bud Walton Arena used to be a tough place to play. Vandy just played a pretty bad game against UGA and won by the skin of A.J.'s yellow teeth. Here's hoping they have a good game plan for stopping the Arkansas version of a dribble drive offense (they should) and getting some actual point production out of the front court that doesn't necessarily include wide open free throw shots. Go Cats, Go Dores, and dammit winter, GO AWAY. Have a good weekend.

GRIMACE WAS THE Y

2010-02-26T09:45:00.000-05:00

I'm sure y'all saw this last night, but it bears repeating. I hate the Lakers, but I've always liked Magic Johnson. Doing the shizz/John Wall dance makes me like him a lot more. He does look like grimace though - purple didn't help him any.

COMMODORES ARE SQUEAKY, CHICKENS ARE NOT

2010-02-26T09:20:00.001-05:00

Softcore chicken porn. Ohhhh yeahhhh.

Tale of two games last night, right? Vanderbilt, still slightly hungover from their loss to Kentucky last Saturday I assume, had their hands full with a scrappy Georgia team that pushed them to overtime. I saw most of the game, but then Kentucky came on TV and I sort of caught the overtime part by way of highlights. ~~As I predicted~~, Vanderbilt had to tough this one out thanks to the heroics of Trey Thompkins et al. Georgia outshot and out-rebounded the Dores by a pretty good margin, requiring Vanderbilt to ultimately rely on the nerdiest of offensive weapons, the free throw line. Good win for the Dores, but they'd better remember they have to bring it every night if they want to improve their NCAAT seeding.

Kentucky, on the other hand, more or less dismantled South Carolina, although not in the "kill you dead" fashion that I had hoped. People (John Calipari) have sort of complained all year about this team's lack of a killer instinct, and it almost reared its head in the second half. Kentucky was up about 16 at halftime and managed to lose ten of those points for a good stretch before really putting it away at the end. Downed, as I predicted, got his, making some absolutely ridiculous shit. I don't care how closely you guard that guy, he could make 15 footers with a mosquito net hanging over him.

/Shot still goes in.

Still, all was not lost. Patrick Patterson has finally found his offense again, which is awesome. Cousins had another double-double. Darius Miller had what I think was his best game of the season. There was a Krebs sighting. All of those things were good. Yay Cats.

A little bit later today I'll do some short and almost unnecessary previews for Tennessee and the Devil Pigs, so keep an eye out for that. Go Cats and Go Dores.

DAWGS AND COCKS: NOT A GOOD COMBINATION

2010-02-25T09:02:00.000-05:00

So intimidating.

Cats and Dores both have home games tonight. Georgia's playing in Memorial at 7 on ESPNU and South Carolina visits Rupp at 9 on regular old ESPN. Neither of these games should be close. Yes, Vandy lost to Georgia at Georgia, but that'll happen. The Dores do not lose at Memorial (except to Kentucky, which is okay) and they're definitely not going to lose two in a row. Do expect Trey Thompkins to try to get into A.J.'s medusa-like head a little bit, and Travis Leslie will require the backcourt's full attention, but I think the Commies win this one going away.

Meanwhile, South Carolina plays round 2 against UK in a game where the Cocks will totally get their comeuppance. Sure, Downey will probably get his, but there's no way the Cats play that bad twice against the only team to beat them this season. Cousins is pissed. Wall is pissed. Krebs is ready to turn green and SMASH. I'm putting the over/under on technical fouls at 3, and I hope we hit the under. Darrin Horn's teams play hard, but the Cocks are not good. Expect a massacre.

THIS IS TOO GOOD TO PASS UP

2010-02-23T15:22:00.000-05:00

Two more like this (and by "like this" I mean "A.J.'s underrated Medusa impression") here. Check it out.

HEYOO

2010-02-23T10:40:00.000-05:00

I'm pretty busy today and, oddly enough, Kentucky and Vanderbilt don't play until Thursday this week. Therefore, I made a sort of funny LOL that was relevant 20 years ago. You're welcome! Also, this:

You can find it here. HT: ASOB.

BIZZARRO WILDCATS

2010-02-22T09:53:00.000-05:00

NCAA Basketball

Look at that chart. JUST LOOK AT IT! Anything seem out of place there, other than, well, everything? Kentucky shot the ball better, turned it over less, got outrebounded on the offensive glass, and won the battle at the free throw line. Three of those four things were totally unexpected if you read anyone's game preview. Weird, huh?

WALK OF SHAME: VICTORIOUS

2010-02-22T09:39:00.000-05:00

Somebody's inlaws have courtside seats.

There's only one topic suitable for discussion in this week's Walk of Shame, and that's the UK-Vandy game last Saturday. It was crazy. The student section was rowdy. DeMarcus Cousins was an anti-cheerleader, and I loved it. A.J. pretty much choked (and Matt Freije agreed with me). It was a really fun game to see live and in person, and I'm glad my team won. Really credit the Memorial crowd for trying to will their team to a win. There were a lot of Kentucky fans in the building, and they were pretty vocal. I got a lot of F-you's when I went out into the concourse, which were sort of unexpected from a group that considers themselves the class of the SEC, but I won't let a few bad apples spoil the bunch. The only kind of crappy part of the game experience was during timeouts: Vandy has got to do more to keep the crowd energized or at least keep their attention. It's like a funeral home in there when there's no action.

This was a game that was a lot like other road games (and some home games) the Cats have played in this year, meaning tight and with the margin of victory being determined in the final minutes (or in this case, seconds). Kentucky played the best perimeter defense I've seen all year, which explains holding the Dores to (I think) four three pointers, two coming from noted hacker and smacker Steve Tchiengang. Jeff Taylor had a great game for the Dores, but it wasn't enough to match a re-emergent Patrick Patterson and the somewhat spotty game of DeMarcus. Wall was Wall when it mattered, except for a few bricked free throws.

Vanderbilt was sort of in a win-win situation here. They really weren't supposed to win the game, but it would have been huge if they did. If the 'Dores win out the rest of their regular season schedule and take at least two in the SEC Tournament (and they get a bye for sure), there's no way they're worse than a 4 seed in the NCAA. Kentucky, with that win, I think probably locked up a 1, assuming no more losses or even a loss at UTK.

DORES WON LAST NIGHT, WILL LOSE TOMORROW NIGHT

2010-02-19T10:07:00.000-05:00

Solid win from the Commies last night against Ole Miss. The Rebs definitely came to play, but thanks to a shit ton of fouls and forgetting that they had a game plan, Andy Kennedy's squad gave the game away to Vandy despite shooting pretty well. Beal was blank-o in the first half but put up some points toward the end of the game, and A.J. played pretty well considering he's bigger than everyone on Ole Miss's roster.

Okay, enough with the backhanded comments. Kentucky plays Vandy at Memorial tomorrow at 6 ET, 5 CT. Who plays basketball at 5:00 on a Saturday? Vanderbilt, that's who. This really is a game that Kentucky could lose. Yes, the Cats are a better, more talented team, but this will be an environment unlike any other the Cats have been in this season, and that includes ballroom floor basketball courts lit by brass chandeliers. I'm going to the game, and I have a feeling TV does not do Memorial justice. As we all know, there are four goalposts instead of two. No idea why. The benches are on opposing baselines. No idea why. The sidelines are forty feet deep. No idea why. The building is actually built like an opera hall. Some idea why.

Ken Pomeroy says that Cats win, but only by the slimmest of margins (51%). The four factors say both teams will shoot the ball well (probably), Kentucky will turn it over a little more than Vandy (probably), Kentucky will get way more offensive rebounds (definitely), and Vandy will shoot more free throws (probably). Vandy gets to the line at a ridiculous rate. Kentucky wins if they keep on the offensive glass and open up the floor with perimeter shooting. Vandy wins if Kentucky is just too confused by the weird setup in Memorial, and they keep getting to the line. I'm sure it's going to be a tight game, but both teams are used to that by now. I will not be surprised if Kentucky drops one here. I'll be pissed, but not surprised. Should be a good one. Go Cats!

BECAUSE I CAN

2010-02-18T14:05:00.000-05:00

Brighten up the mood around here? Why, I'd be glad to.

There's more of those here.

Tell me that's not funny.

WOAH - VANDY SIGNEE RAJAAN BENNETT MURDERED

2010-02-18T10:07:00.001-05:00

RIP, man.

See, there you go. I was just getting ready to get all hate-y on Vanderbilt as they prepare to look past Ole Miss to UK this weekend (tonight on ESPNU at 7 ET - you should still watch) and then BOOM. Vanderbilt's best 2010 football signee, RB Rajaan Bennett, was murdered around 2:30 this morning in his home near Atlanta. Woah.

Please don't take this as me taking Bennett's plight lightly, because I'm not. The kid probably wasn't even 18 years old yet and he's gunned down in an apparent murder-suicide by a family member. I can't imagine anything more awful. My thoughts and prayers go out to his family and friends. Go Dores.

CALL ME NOW, MSU

2010-02-17T09:25:00.000-05:00

HTC, DOGS! HT: KSR.

Geez that was a squeaker. The Cats pulled out a really tough overtime win in Starkville last night, as if you didn't already know. State played really, really hard. The Cats had a tough time getting the ball in the post in the second half, and they were pretty damn cold from outside. Typically, that's a recipe for disaster (see: South Carolina) but the Cats overcame all that and put the game away. I thought once Jarvis Varnado fouled out, it was game over, but Dee Bost and the forgotten Kodi Augustus respectfully disagreed. They were making ridiculous stuff over some pretty good defense. After the loss, the always klassie State fans threw water bottles on the court, presumably because DeMarcus, Patrick, and J. Wall were all very thirsty from putting up double doubles. This was Patrick's best game in SEC play so far, in my opinion, and I'm glad he got after it as well as he did.

Not pretty, but that wasn't expected against a strong Bulldog team. Take the road W and move on, Cats. Next up: INTERNAL CONFLICT AT VANDERBILT! Maybe.

MARDI GRAS MISSISSIPPI STATE

2010-02-16T11:25:00.000-05:00

I googled Mississippi State and Mardi Gras. Which would you rather look at? I thought so. Anyway, the Cats are heading down to the shittiest town in the SEC, Starkville, Mississippi to play Jarvis Varnado and four other guys in basketball tonight at 9 PM on ESPN. Kentucky hasn't beaten MSU in two years, which oddly coincides with Billy Gillispie's tenure as head coach. I don't know how the Cats lost those two times, but I think it might have something to do with trying to shoot the ball over Jarvis Varnado, which is impossible. That guy could reach the scoreboard hanging over midcourt if he wanted to. That's not the game plan for beating the Dogs. I'm hoping that DeMarcus has a lot fewer hate voicemails on his cell phone tomorrow morning, or at least a few more booty calls after he abuses JV into submission. Go Cats, beat the Dogs.

WALK OF SHAME: UGLY

2010-02-15T09:11:00.000-05:00

I never want to google "ugly" ever again.

Two wins for the Cats and 'Dores, and both were ugly. I didn't get to see the Vandy win over LSU, but from what I heard, it wasn't quite the blowout I expected. Vanderbilt got the W from the free throw line despite a missing John Jenkins and glueman Andre Walker and a really strong game from Storm Warren. Wipe your brow, Commies fans, that's a worker's win right there.

The game I did watch, of course, was the superduper hypefest that was UK-UTK. I watched Game Day, which I usually don't do, and it was pretty incredible. Hubert Davis doing the Shizz/John Wall dance, Digger dancing, and Jay Bilas being a normal human being, it was pretty great. Then I did a bunch of other stuff (Valentine's Day dinner, natch) and got the chance to watch the actual game live at Saints in St. Matthews with some college buddies of mine. It's the first game where I've been allowed to yell at the TV in a long time, and yell I did.

While it was a very close game, I never really thought victory was in doubt. Tennessee played really well. The 3-2 zone was really, really effective in the first half, and if Dodson and Bledsoe don't find their range in the second half, it might have been a loss. Cousins had 12 boards but thanks to being a little too amped, he couldn't throw it in the ocean from the stripe. Patterson hustled. Liggins REALLY hustled. And when the game was really on the line, Mr. Everything John Wall stepped up and absolutely took over. The Vols are really athletic and long, but they don't have anyone who could stay in front of Wall, and it was good to see him play like we saw earlier in the year.

It's not tournament time yet, but we all know how tough the schedule is for both teams down the stretch, so "survive and advance" is a palpable strategy for me at this point. Ugly doesn't show up in the box score (well, sometimes it does), so as long as the Dores and Cats keep grinding it out (except for Saturday, Commies), things will keep going well.

IT'S A WINTER WEEKEND

2010-02-12T09:58:00.000-05:00

So gangsta.

Kentucky has Game Day in Rupp tomorrow but the game is not until 9 pm. That's late. I have a bunch of friends who are going to the Game Day thing and the actual game, which means they will not remember any of it because you have to be in Rupp by like 9 am for the ESPN bonanza, which is over by noon. Then what do you do? You definitely don't go anywhere on Nicholasville Road, so my guess is those screwballs will go up to the Keys and drink John Wall shots, LITs and Miller Lite all afternoon and night before stumbling back down Limestone to the real showdown against Tennessee. Man, I miss college.

Speaking of the actual game, UT's in a bit of a quandary. Lose tomorrow (they will) and there's no chance they get back to the 2 slot in the East. They'll take a big dive in the rankings. Their fans will wonder when football practice starts. These are all good things, except for the fans thinking part, which will probably be very painful and difficult for them. You won't get that kind of in-depth pre-game analysis anywhere else, folks.

LSU is visiting Vanderbilt in Memorial tomorrow at 1:30 pm EST on SEC Network. Not sure what that means for Kentuckians, but we'll see. LSU is absolutely terrible. Storm Warren's pretty good, and Tasmin Mitchell is old. Vanderbilt will cruise and tighten their grip on an NCAA tournament bid and a bye in the first round of the SEC Tournament. "Good show, indeed," Vanderbilt fans will say as they count their money and sip cognac from Waterford crystal snifters.

Have a good weekend! Go Cats, Go Dores, and go watch the Olympics. TV coverage starts today at like 1 pm, I think. USA! USA!