12:54:05 PM: Miki offers out Whitmarsh.

12:55:40 PM: The Final Cuntdown.

12:59:17 PM: Glock “What is the weather like I see some rain clouds, the cows are lying down, and I have moist dots on my visor.”

Pitwall “It may rain”

1:09:25 PM: Place your bets Trulli a)hydraulic failure b)hydraulic broken c)hydraulic fucked. #f1

1:12:12 PM: The BBC driver tracker has HRT drivers listed as Yamamoto and @karunchandhok #f1

1:13:03 PM: Massa’s stitches have given way and parts of his brain are stuck to the onboard camera.

1:22:25 PM: Pitvall “No honestly Mark it’s a good time to stop.”

1:24:52 PM: Massa “Rob help, I’m scared”

1:28:00 PM: RT @kkir Smedley to Alonso: “Back off - Nobody puts Baby in a corner!” RT @a_f1podcast: Massa “Rob help, I’m scared”

1:31:06 PM: Is John Button holding his sons onboard camera? #f1 #unsuitablejobsforanalcoholic

1:34:08 PM: Unfortunate tag #unsuitablejobsforanalcoholic should read unsuitable jobs for an alcoholic
NOT
unsuitable jobs for anal coholic

1:38:35 PM: I think alonso is going to have a tantrum and just jump on the top step of the podium at the end

1:41:04 PM: Massa has been told to up the revs so Alonso can overtake him on the last lap when he runs out of fuel. #F1

1:42:24 PM: OK I’m ready for some rain now. #F1

1:45:26 PM: RT @Robheeney @a_f1podcast I’m trying to work out how Massa’s driving so fast whilst sticking two fingers up

1:46:21 PM: What happened to Kovi?#F1

1:50:46 PM: RT @tomsearle Alonso was the 1st driver to have mirrors on his car. So he can constantly look at his beautiful, horsey face. #F1facts

1:54:47 PM: Mclaren so rich they get to use The G8. #F1

1:59:44 PM: Rain, hail, safety car, dancing girls.

2:04:03 PM: Glock and Di Grassi still to pit!

2:06:58 PM: FERNANDO IS FASTER THAN YOU! nudge nudge wink wink. #F1

2:07:25 PM: Don’t do it Massa! #F1

2:07:38 PM: The next message “Don’t do it felippe baby win this race!” as smedley gets dragged off the pit wall wasn’t broadcast

2:08:19 PM: BOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Black flag the fucking pair if them. #F1 #cheatingbastards.

2:10:09 PM: RT @adrianlovell Ferrari use blatant illegal team orders. I hope they both get disqualified. #F1

2:11:26 PM: Ted Kravitz, the ultimate gossip I fargin love it. #F1

2:13:16 PM: RT @Stephen_MH That’s fecking awful. I cannot believe Ferrari. What a shit race. #f1

2:14:20 PM: RT @jakehumphreyf1 Alonso will not have won this race, he will have been given the race. Very unfair in my opinion! And not true racing! #F1

2:15:02 PM: RT @VeedubGeezer @a_f1podcast shock. Fuckingnando NoLoseO can’t overtake a slower car.

2:18:53 PM: MB “if a difficult area” my arse! we know it, they know it, my fucking goldfish know it, forget it and know it again . #ARRRGH #F1

2:20:14 PM: Voting closed for anotherf1podcast’s cunt of the race

2:20:30 PM: RT @EuanMcMorrow To protest at Ferrari’s cheating & race fixing I am never going to buy one of their roads cars> I will join you protest

2:24:31 PM: RT @EuanMcMorrow: @a_f1podcast To protest at Ferrari’s cheating and race fixing I am never going to buy one of their roads cars

2:24:46 PM: If it wasn’t for the prospect of an Eddie (my new hero) Jordan grilling I’d turn this off now. #F1 #ineverthoughtidsaythat

2:27:31 PM: Mclaren’s much more subtle coded message, “honestly FIA inspection team there’s load of fuel left in it, innit!”

2:27:44 PM: RT @tomsearle Rob Smedley’s just ordered five Happy Meals and Finding Nemo on DVD to Massa’s trailer. #F1

2:31:24 PM: Oh fuck it’s finished. I had noticed

2:33:25 PM: Alonso’s customary got you by the balls celebration. #f1

2:35:14 PM: Rob promises to explain magnanimous just after he reads Massa his bedtime story. #F1

2:35:53 PM: RT @tomsearle “Felipe Massa is back” - back behind his team-mate. #F1

2:40:01 PM: RT @sniffpetrol Other words Massa might not know: ‘duplicitous’, ‘iniquitous’, ‘cheating little monobrowed cuntbasket’

2:55:44 PM: Ahhhh Massa, I think I’m wellin up.

3:01:09 PM: F1 Race? #F1

3:02:47 PM: RT @sniffpetrol In case you missed it, German GP result in reverse order: 3. VET 2. MAS 1. CNT

3:23:51 PM: RT @tomsearle @a_f1podcast Jakey Wakey’s had to delete his tweets about the cheating farce…

Red Bull Give You Wings, then takes one away.

The second version of the podcast (first one got recorded, computer crashed and we thought it best to give the better version to the other team).

But we discuss not being at the British Grand Prix, Red Bull politics, Alonso’s safety messages, Stirling Moss falling over and PATRICK STEWART WHISPERING

2010 British Grand Prix Podcast

12:15:31 PM: All that shit music for one lame joke.

12:17:37 PM: RT @russellmcgovern Eddie is still in those Willy Wonka trousers. Someone get him a green top hat. #F1

12:22:30 PM: Coultard MBE fill his contractual obligation as official Red Bullshitter. #F1

12:24:43 PM: Jenson Button is left handed too? It’s like he’s copying me (aside from the success and the money and the women)

12:29:07 PM: German telly is doing a similar feature. But Vettel is getting ALL the answers right

12:31:40 PM: RT @a_f1podcast German telly is doing a similar feature. But Vettel is getting ALL the answers right >Horner is giving him the answers

12:41:03 PM: “F..F F F F F” Webber struggles not to say “Fucking Horners Fucking stitched me up again. #F1

12:43:48 PM: Is Patrick Stewart putting that voice on. #f1

12:46:51 PM: I’m filing up…

12:48:38 PM: Is Stirling Moss, Patrick Stewarts Dad? #F1

12:49:35 PM: Uh oh Ted’s on the pull again.

12:52:17 PM: Anyone got the link for this live bbc standings tracker thing?

12:57:50 PM: England expects?bollocks the 1 thing I expect is the Red Bulls will fuck off into the distance and Button will get stuck behind Kobiashi #f1

1:03:25 PM: New corners Farm, Village and Loop did they let Tilke name them? #F1

1:04:51 PM: VETTEL!! Haaa!

1:05:07 PM: FUCK YEH - FUCK YOU VETTEL!!

1:06:08 PM: excellent. Vettel properly cracking under a bit of pressure… again

1:07:26 PM: Webber might be able to keep Hamilton behind him if he had the new wing #f1

1:07:31 PM: Massa, Vettel all we need now is an Alonso puncture and we have the full set #F1

1:15:48 PM: How long before Vettel has to overtake Kovi? #f1

1:26:42 PM: This F1 trackers thing on the BBC site is very handy to watch webber reeling vettel in to lap

1:27:50 PM: When webber catches up with Vettel he has been been ordered to get out and swap cars #f1

1:29:38 PM: Mark (my new favourite driver) Webber please wave as you lap Vettel. #F1

1:30:04 PM: I hope webber flicks the bird as he flies past seb

1:31:52 PM: Drive through for Alonso. #F1 #ifthereisagod

1:36:13 PM: RT @InsideFerrari Alonso overtook Kubica in a tough battle and then Alguersuari > if by tough battle you mean on the frikin grass I agree

1:44:55 PM: Vettel answers the critics who said he can’t overtake by overtaking not one but two HRT cars. #f1

1:48:03 PM: I think Alonso should still have to give the place back by parking his car behind Kubica’s garage. #F1

1:50:39 PM: Nigel mansell I love you. #F1

1:57:12 PM: Don’t look sad Mansell, you’ve just regained national hero status. Unfortunately you may have also gained a horses head in your bed though

2:10:39 PM: Ferrari decide to turn off the radios forgetting Fellipe baby was still racing. #f1

2:11:40 PM: Just gone right off Goldie. #F1

2:25:51 PM: This is the best Grand Prix, I always thought Karma took a while. #F1

2:30:51 PM: Did webber just say “Who’s on the podium, I want a punch up there”? #f1

2:31:02 PM: Horner “can you manage a smile now?”

Webber “can you manage a fucking team now?” #F1

2:41:14 PM: Champagne bukake.

2:41:43 PM: RT @EliGP Alonso is surprisingly calm. What a shame..> I feel cheated.

2:44:21 PM: Waving dicks, phone dicks FUCK OFF!!!

2:44:45 PM: EJ BAM!

2:53:51 PM: Forget the press conference, find angry Alonso or any livid Italian. #F1

3:13:06 PM: Wavey smiley background phone dicks should be treated like football hooligans and banned from all circuits. #F1

3:18:24 PM: RT @MartinHaven the ex-Honda team is STILL a closer unit than Red Bull…

3:25:55 PM: Does that shirt say vvvooooooooooddddddaaaafoooneee

The Scuderia Ferrari Marlboro team have decided to finally stop all of that chatter about them still subliminally advertsiing the Marlboro brand with their MArlboro shaped barcode on the cars and logo by revealing a brand new logo that doesn’t look at all like the fag packet.
or is it…

Nothing alike, at least everyone will stop talking about it

Alonso returns home and Kevin and Terry revert to the familiar homely feeling of calling him the c-word. Webber is homesick and takes a trip down under, Alonso’s engineer is the most italian person ever and did Hamilton slow or speed up?

2010 European Grand Prix Podcast

12:33:29 PM: Only just got to a telly, what have I missed? #F1

12:38:09 PM: I’ve blown my diffuser #f1

12:39:57 PM: I never liked Mike Gascoignes goattee, but he looks funny without it

12:40:05 PM: You want a bullshit free answer ask @MikeGascoyne. Wish he was Prime minister! #f1

12:40:32 PM: I’ve spoiled my rear wing #f1

12:41:49 PM: Speak to the other irish driver Ped O’ delarosa #asyouwere

12:42:21 PM: Or the other Irish driver, Eddie Irvine… Oh

12:43:58 PM: From that reaction I think they genuinely were using EJ

12:44:09 PM: Ah the irish driver Kob O’Ashi

12:45:26 PM: To add excitement to this potentially dull race, could this be the first race all of the new teams finish? #F1 #fingerscrossed #twohopes

12:48:46 PM: With DC and Jakey-wakey both in pink shirts I’m waiting for them to break into song #f1

12:50:16 PM: Kubica just got off a jet ski #f1

12:56:57 PM: Oh shit just seen some very impressive facilities! #F1

1:01:10 PM: Both Redbull drivers were the last to put their visors down? Does the face form part of their F-duct?

1:11:55 PM: 4 laps in and I already a full understanding of what’s going on. Gutted! #f1 #ImissCanada

1:15:19 PM: DING DONG, I take it all back best race of the year. #f1

1:18:02 PM: Webbers now customary stich up stop successfully completed. #F1 #Piquetwouldbeproud

1:20:37 PM: Bloody massive shunt. And the pits looking dicey #dullrace

1:22:25 PM: Legard: Oo, what a pretty picture that is. If only there was a rainbow

1:24:05 PM: Just back from the loo, why’s there a safety car? #f1

1:25:23 PM: One of these days Schumacher is just going to get out of the car and scream “What is the fucking point?”

1:30:11 PM: RT @f1fanatic_co_uk Oh what a surprise, David Coulthard blames the car the Red Bull hit… #F1

1:35:09 PM: RT @MikeGascoyne Heiiki fine and on the pitwall with us, pissed off with webber though

1:36:10 PM: Kobiashi Vs Button the sequel. #f1

1:37:12 PM: Did Alonso just say “I forgot to go to Homebase” #f1

1:39:11 PM: Is this a Grand Prix or a frikin parade lap? #f1

1:44:59 PM: Alonso says jump and the FIA say how high. #f1 #sorrywenearlyforgotyoudriveforferrarinow

1:50:18 PM: My iplayer is playing the same bit of footage in a three min loop, has taken me 10 mins to notice. #dullrace

1:54:34 PM: Bernie takes drastic measures to liven up the race. #F1 #dullrace

1:56:38 PM: Legard is blaming the drunk spanish marshalls for the beer bottle,

1:56:51 PM: Jenson’s dad left a beer in the radiator duct

1:56:56 PM: RT @tomsearle: @a_f1podcast Eddie’s been drinking again..

1:57:21 PM: **Warning biased tweet all those who are easily offended look away now**

In your FUCKING FACE FERRARI! #f1

1:59:46 PM: Has Alonso been to the dentist for root canal surgery just before the Grand Prix all I hear on the radio is “blugh blugh whaw whaw” #f1

1:59:56 PM: Alonso’s engineer is the most Italian person ever. Fact #f1

2:00:20 PM: RT @RStaniford @a_f1podcast red bull really does give you wings

2:06:51 PM: Please stop all this talk of fights for 5th and Battles for 3rd. This is Kubica following Barichello and Button stuck behind Kobiashi. #f1

2:13:55 PM: Timo Glock with all the luck of the Irish there…

2:14:38 PM: I love the underdogs. Why would they move? “Oh no the big bad FIA could give us drive through and send us to the back of the grid.” #f1

2:15:26 PM: RT @Stephen_MH Schumacher being slowed by that tartan travel rug he’s got on knees. #f1

2:22:28 PM: Dodo Massa chewing on his necklace, Felipe has a similar necklace but it’s got a dummy on. #F1

2:24:44 PM: Shock news entire grid is penalised in order that Ferrari get their way. #F1

2:25:12 PM: RT @neilcole Ferrari garage preparing 3rd set of new toys, to go back in Alonso’s pram #F1

2:27:31 PM: RT @neilcole: Ferrari garage preparing 3rd set of new toys, to go back in Alonso’s pram #F1

2:29:03 PM: Let’s just have the FIA give the British Grand Prix to Alonso now #FerrariIA

2:35:57 PM: The Hulks tyres get angry and burst through there skin. #f1

2:37:55 PM: RT @neilcole So even the #F1 might go to penalties, thanks to Fritz… I mean Frentzen #worldcup

2:38:05 PM: If I was in Valencia I’d drive down that road alongside the track and try and beat the f1 cars

2:41:53 PM: GO-GO-GOBOYASHI!!!

2:42:52 PM: If kobayashi overtakes alonso I will have a burger king for lunch

2:44:27 PM: GOOOOOOBIASHI #f1 Alonso whining so much it’s alleged he cracked his visor.

2:45:23 PM: Kobayashi under investigation. They’ll work out why later #f1

2:54:48 PM: #f1 podium 2-1 to England. #worldcup

3:04:38 PM: BBC FIGHT! #F1

3:16:06 PM: WTF “@InsideFerrari EUR - A race ruined by the safety car” twats. #f1

3:19:49 PM: Another f1 podcast circa 2008 “Alonso what a c*#t!” ahhh the good old days. Bring on the podcast who’d have thought we’d be this excited #f1

3:21:13 PM: @MikeGascoyne I LOVE YOU! #thereIsaidit #f1

3:24:39 PM: DC MBE takes more knocks than when he was racing. #f1

3:36:50 PM: Webber live on the forum on hearing the England score “Bloody hell!” brilliant. #f1 #webberswears

3:54:35 PM: RT @VirginRacing Germans in our motorhome are sing “England’s going home” They do have a sense of humour!

5:44:30 PM: 5 second penalties for the investigated drivers #f1

9:15:38 AM: we have posted “2010.10 - European Grand Prix”. Go read it here… http://bit.ly/dhanLw …now #f1

8:43:20 PM: Piquet and alonso are playing in this match. So if alonso scores just after piquet falls over we know something is up #worldcup #f1

11:24:52 PM: Did a gig with the talented @neilcole, I shook his hand & he’s met Raikkonen so just in case he’s wiped some Kimi on me http://bit.ly/9mSACV

The podcast that is officially new and noteworthy on itunes, and F1 is back in Montreal and it’s been as bonkers as ever, and Kevin and Terry are in a giggly mood with (incredibly niche) F1 related cheese puns, chatting about the BBC coverage, asking where the drivers press conference table has gone and trying to keep up with exactly what happened during the race.

2010 Canadian Grand Prix Podcast

4:23:40 PM: Anthony davidson does his underdog trophy proud. Nil points

4:24:07 PM: Mark Webber docked 5 grid places - had to change the gearbox, cough (team orders) cough

4:28:03 PM: Whitmarsh only laughs when he’s lying.

4:37:57 PM: Massa freaks out after someone tells him Spring has Sprung in Canada. Pushed back into garage for comfort blanket and a cuddle. #f1

4:40:25 PM: Brundle and Tanya sexual tension is just too much #f1 #willtheywontthey

They try to avoid talking about a certain Red Bull crash for as long as we can by discussing the “INFAMOUS TURN 8″, the cunt of the week, lotus stealing and Kevin and Terry doing some lip reading

2010 Turkish Grand Prix Podcast

12:21:08 PM: I am secretly watching the Grand Prix, in a house full of relatives I should be talking to. How long before they discover I’m missing? #F1

1:05:12 PM: Horner does tense so well

1:05:28 PM: Go Button.

1:08:23 PM: Shit I’ve been rumbled, this may be the last tweet of the Grand Prix from me.

1:13:45 PM: He said Luzzi’s rear wing is going to fall off.

1:30:33 PM: time for some racing!

1:47:53 PM: Can’t work out if I’m bored or not?

1:51:20 PM: If I had some money I’d sponsor Hispania or virgin and insist on a massive L plate on the back of the rear wing

1:52:59 PM: Legard is just copying @MikeGascoyne. Cover your tweets with your arm mike

1:56:46 PM: Is trulli the first retirement?

2:05:22 PM: Fucking kids coming and screwing it all up

2:08:17 PM: Wondered why they kept showing a close up of a screen saying “total fuck up expected”

2:09:33 PM: RAIN!!!!!

2:11:24 PM: Punch up!!!

2:12:39 PM: That pool party is going to be a little different at red bull today. Vettel will find stones in his pockets

2:15:43 PM: Schumacher being taught how to suck eggs

2:16:58 PM: Those mclarens look crashably close

2:17:18 PM: Can’t. Watch.

2:19:05 PM: This is my expressive dance for the pierced one

2:20:13 PM: Lip Reading Whitmarsh seemingly shouting “careful” lots

2:26:04 PM: Alonso you big bully

2:30:33 PM: Would be better telly if the last guy on the pit wall just punched vettel

2:35:26 PM: Aside from obvious knocks and scrapes nearly all the teams finished next to each other

2:38:10 PM: Webber looks grumpy. Going to betfred to put punt on a swear in press conference

2:40:57 PM: Was that booing when webber got his wobbly trophy?

2:41:48 PM: Subdued podium cos mclaren knew it was gifted?

2:42:06 PM: Let’s hope this is where webber and vettel get proper nasty

3:55:13 PM: @jakehumphreyf1 Re: the new teams please show Ant this……
http://bit.ly/brkmbE

7:27:16 PM: I’m watching the INDY 500 on the internet - woo

7:33:27 PM: RT @willbuxton: Kudos to @aussiegrit today. Held his line, his nerve and his dignity.

8:19:10 PM: I don’t really understand indycars. Nothing is happening (and I’m saying this as an F1 fan)

8:34:24 PM: Now i look at the screen again and there’s a car in pieces… and this feed has no replays #indy500