Annkur

V’s experimentation with colours!

Annkur — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 10:51:29 +0000

This blog is all about me, my views. The only room until today for anyone to express themselves is in the comments section. But here is an exception.

A dear friend and one of the finest people in the tech circles that I move around in is Mr Vivek K & here is a gem from V!

My experiments with Colors.

Life ain’t fair. Neither am I. On numerous occasions in the past 23 years, I have reminded myself of this statement. I am 23 years old. I have lived in Jaipur,Delhi,Mumbai and Pune. I belong to a middle class family. I am studying pure sciences. I am working in technology startup. I have a great social circle. I am also a LEO. And yes, I have a “fairly” dark complexion. The last line adds a pinch of black to the entire picture. I say it form my experiences, that the world has 2 kinds of people – The Dark one’s (like me)– and the not so dark one’s.- This includes the whites (all shades), the browns, wheatish, and my lighter shades. It’s a different world altogether when looked from the eyes of a black skinned person. I will share some of my experiences – some good, some bad.

Considering that my grandfather is no more, I am probably the darkest soul in my family – both Paternal and Maternal, when it comes to color. I studied in 4 schools- Adarsh Vidya Mandir – Sirohi, St Paul School – Sirohi, Seedling Public School – Jaipur and Maheshwari Public School, Jaipur – and without fail I was the darkest student in all the classes. So the TAG – blacky came naturally to me. I have collected some very funny names all this while. Here are some of my favorites – Invisible After Sunlight (IAS), Kallu (klue,callu,klu), Kalia (I wish I was born in the Pre Sholay Era), Nigger, Nigero, Nigga, African, kalz, kalua. Lara and Black Mamba are the latest addition to the list.

It was probably in 3^rd standard I had my last fight with a guy who was 10 may be 15 “shades lighter than me” regarding one of those above names. I had almost killed him. I gave up after that. I realized that I was no hulk who could beat them all or Abraham Lincoln/Nelson Mandela who could not teach the world a lesson about Racism. I decided to give up – Give up on every single remark ever made about my complexion. (The world complexion sounds very “Britsh but – The place where I belong to, people like calling it Color. It sounds even better in when called “Rang”. )

I don’t know if I should blame my color – or the color of the fairer breed or the era when I was a student or Sholay or may be the city where I lived – I could never gather the confidence to go on stage. The only memory I have of going on stage was for a fancy dress competition where I was dressed as a joker – yes they painted me all white. The only time I ever went on stage after that was on my 16^th Birthday because all the birthday boys (I did my +2 from a boys school) were given a Birthday Card on stage.

Along with my color came the limited range of colors I could choose to pick my clothes. 3 shades of blue, 2 shades of green and anything that is Grey, yes that’s all you would find in my cup board. For me the color palette was always limited to Grey- Green-Blue. I always use to wonder why the costume designer in Telgu Films got orange shirts and red pants designed – Was he genuinely serious? Or did we miss the humor?

At this point I would like to introduce my family. Since I am the darkest one in my family, the entire family tried every possible fairness cream – Fair and Lovely, Garnier, Ponds, The_Cream_From_Dubai, even Amway. By the time I reached 8^th standard, I revolted. Then came the desi products – Besan, Multani Mitti. But as you can see, nothing literally nothing seemed to work on me. My family gave up against God’s wish of maintaining my dark color. Though the odd phone calls and advice about the_new_cream_of_vaseline come in till date. I could sense that their concern for my skin getting a shade or two lighter was absolutely valid – They probably believed that even if hell would break loose no “fair” bride would accept a black groom. At the age of 13 there is very little that I could do. I retained my stand. Actually, I had no options.

By this time I had my first crush in school. It took me over 10 years to confess it to her. Back in 8^th, I had assumed that black guys are destined to die single. Who in this world would fall for a black guy leave apart marrying him? My faith in my assumption was so strong that the thought of talking to the girl never crossed my mind. Though the circle I hanged out with had a lot of girls but I believe they were all friends with me because they thought I was “too safe”. Around the same time a cousin of mine introduced me to Sidney Sheldon. I picked up on reading. After reading 3 of those novels and confirming with my cousin I had assured myself that the jargon – Tall Dark and Handsome was a valid term and had no sarcasm attached. Though I continued to be skeptical about its validity in city I was living.

I was academically superior than a lot of my batch mates – probably that was the reason people did have some respect for me. Or wait it might have been pity also – You never know. As my school came to an end – thanks to everything around me – events, people, friends and family and my color – I had developed a shell around myself . The world I lived in had very few people – handpicked people who never thought twice before talking to a black guy. My color and not my potential had decided limits for me.

Life moved on but my color did not. Probably I was enjoying being black – it added an element of distinctness to me. I could be identified with ease in a crowd. While this feature at times can be quiet helpful, it can prove to be detrimental at times. For instance in a class of 150 students – the professor would be able to recall your face distinctly and can ask you awkward questions during the exam -” I didn’t see you after the first week of the semester, where have you been ?” For most of my friends, I invented “Black Humor”. Now I believe that I did. With college almost coming to an end, I don’t think I have to take more of this. I want to believe that my color is behind me but something inside tells me that the worst is yet to come. I have always had these questions intriguing me -

Why is black equivalent to being dangerous/bad/ugly ?

Why would they sit next to the white guy on the bus even if seat next to me is empty ?

Is having a dark complexion such a taboo ?

What is it with the fair skin that attracts all of you ?

Why do people frown when they see me with a fairer girl ?

Why can’t you love the dusky girl in your class but keep stating at bipasha basu’s wallpaper ?

By the way, the date on my computer screen is 15th Aug. Are we really free ?

P.S

We live in a country obsessed with Fair Color. The fairness and beauty product market as trends have it is close to 2500 CRORES. These are times when Sharukh Khan wants to get fairer by using fair and handsome, John Abraham needs Garnier Fairness Cream to impress a dusky beauty and Shahid Kapoor spends one minute on his Fairness. (CAN YOU BEAT THAT – ONE ENTIRE MINUTE !! ). We also live in times when every girl in the US wants to meet the tall, dark and handsome OLD Spice Man. Quiet an interesting era -isn’t it ?

Originally posted on Room No 368 – By Vivek Khandelwal

A hint – The picture from my eyes!

Annkur — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 03:05:01 +0000

Traveling alone to the US and exploring things wasn’t exactly my POA for this trip but then that’s how it happened. Tired of exploring NYC and to take back atleast something more to tell friends about USA (except for the Atlantic City Casinos) … I started out for Niagara Falls. While I am informed that the US end isn’t the best place to see the falls from, it didn’t matter to begin with. I went in with the feeling thats its ‘just another water fall’ and came back with a heavenly experience.

So what was it like? I didn’t carry a camera with me on this trip and even if I did … any of my photographs would have been anything but injustice to the beauty of nature. You got to see it and feel it in person.

Some of the best pictures I ever clicked are in my eyes! And to such life stopping moments I add the second one in July. Way too human to describe the first one, even the Niagara Falls is yet to sink in as a reality for me. This day in life I have seen a rainbow that reappears every second with mist flying in the air and with that a heavenly experience of clouds forming right in front of my eyes (yes seriously!).

I made a choice!

Annkur — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 22:23:29 +0000

The puzzling questions/views on Trust & Friendship that I keep on asking myself is kinda never ending. To be honest more often than not these views are pushed by instances that left me with a bitter taste or undesired consequences…

The difference between a ‘friendly friend’ and a ‘real friend’ is more clear in my mind than ever before now. The understanding that the manner in which friendship is perceived today is very different than what I had in mind. Today being Friendly is Friendship.

It took a while, but I finally made a choice. That choice was acceptance.

Acceptance that I cannot control everything, I cannot be friends with people as I want, I cannot expect everyone to behave the way I like – rather I need not require everyone to be Friends, at times Friendly is enough.

This changed somewhere mid way, so did this. Dunno where I am today, but I shall be back!

“1st email” LoL memories pulled out of the trunk

Annkur — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 12:42:01 +0000

{This is a status update of visit we made for a college project during BMS days in Bhavans. Shaun just sent this back to me and just couldn’t resist sharing this with the rest of the word. Bachmates from Bhavans would surely understand this better}

——– 22-8-2005 From ANkur Agarwal to Tassavur Shaikh (Toxic)

Ok Officer !!
I shall give you a briefing of wht we faced so far in the war ground of Materials Management.
We moved forward to the Creative Motors Fort in Andheri.

We attacked their Service Center. BUt we came to know that their leader (mr Kamlesh Shah) is hiding in the showoom.

So we marched forward in our hired tanks (rikshaws) towards the Creative Motors showroom in Andheri Itself.

We spotted Mr Kamlesh and holded him at gunpoint. He was talking on a wireless communication device (Probably calling in reinforcements)
He recognized me and surrendered. We had a conferene with him in his hideout (also known as cabin) and layed down numerous demands and requested lots of ancient artifacts (Slips and documents) which were very important to us. He was very cooperative here on (probably frightened after seeing 4 of us together).

He promised to handover the requested artifacts within 24 hours and so he did. Our brave knight Sir Samie III also received a special gift from their showroom (a concessional rate for Hero honda CBZ* with finance).
The very next day we divided the artifacts and started to work on it. Kim was sent a copy of those for special study by AIRMAIL (Courier) and she mailed us her reports and findings ( Ecopies ) of the same. We then had a brief meeting where we met our lethal weapon TOXIC ( ya he takes a whole week to recharge himself and then shows up once in a week — much like me). .. and you know what happened after that.

Here I take the privilege to mail you all the Findings and research we did on the artifacts — which although of a bit low quality is attached.
THE SPECIMEN of our victory note and improvement steps is being attached – it is to be considered by you for your views and special comments.

Over and OUT
Major General ANkur Agarwal

ps: Yes back then I didn’t knew the difference between Hero Honda and Honda

Face to Face conversations

Annkur — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 09:30:51 +0000

//incomplete

An email titled: Study Shows High ROI on Face-to-Face Meetings

While this was some newsletter sent to marketing / sales junta & I don’t even need to open the thing and read it. The idea is pretty clear: no matter how much you rely on IM, FB, Twitter – fact remains that nothing replaces Face to Face conversations. And I strongly seek that value in any relationship. I have attempted hard at times to keep up with my contacts and as far as possible I would race the bike to meet up in person. Again that has some relevance with the Friend Matrix (sorry, a lot of things for me revolve around that, in a sublime manner though); though I fear I won’t be able to describe very effectively but here is an attempt.

Anyways, when I asked Are we friends? the keyword stressed was TRUST. Making yourself available for a face 2 face meeting in many ways comes under that. (If I am avoiding a meet, that certainly means lack of trust!)…

Update: Comments on this piece on Facebook… really takes the discussion forward

Office Office

Annkur — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 14:44:02 +0000

2010 is here and after a good year and a half of blogging on Annkur.com; I have slowed down. The frequency of posts have fallen and now I can so much relate to @thakkar speaking about “his 6 dead blogs” at Blog Camp Mumbai around a year back. While blogging still remains a integral part of my day to day work (at OnlyGizmos) the reason Annkur.com was created, was to share what I like, what I feel and not just gadgets and technology.

I am wondering what I should do to get back those wonderful thoughts that made some really memorable posts here. Any suggestions?

One of the ideas I might explore is to integrate a photo blog here; but the writings for now are rare

Btw the post is titled office office, as I have just got started with a new office routine. Though not the first office for me, but a first with a good 5 member team and a hectic 12 hour office schedule almost everyday. And yes, I am loving it! Leaving you with a few pictures below:

Annkur — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 05:32:48 +0000

Ankur Loves you!

but as much as I love you, I believe that Love is superstition. Thats the only thing that can probably help me get over you!

Are we friends?

Annkur — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 18:34:44 +0000

Are we friends? This is something I ask people, directly or indirectly and more often than not I take answers without they having to say Yes or No. The friend matrix that I gave earlier is something that will give a larger view of how things work, but here is something very basic:

“Friendship demands trust. For me trust is the respect that a friend gives me, I value that and I like to give the same in return. For any reason (and generally many) If I fail to see that respect for me and/or I feel I cant give that respect to you, we shall seize to be friends!”

Also read Darshan Chande’s views on friendship. I quite like and agree with what he says. 1) What is friendship? 2) Is friendship driven by purpose

Russian mafia prisoner comments on my blog

Annkur — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 07:15:53 +0000

Spam comments is something that bloggers face everyday. But this one really had be ROFL.

My meme – that 7 random things

Annkur — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 18:54:46 +0000

Tagged long back to write a meme, here it is – &even random things about me:

Redbull and Pain killers dont work on me (no I am not happy about this)
watches ~~all~~ most movies in the last show
upto class VIII wanted to be a scientist (dont ask me why)
if i end up replying to you on gtalk in all CAPS; it would be safe to assume that i was eating something and wasn’t looking at the screen
believes in love at first sight, at the same time promotes the philosophy that love is superstition
has a unique ability to sit over shit load of work and do nothing
when alone and doing nothing, would be smiling / laughing visualizing some silly pjs / incidents

What meme?

A blog meme is something that requires active participation by the blogger and (rarely) traces back to an originating source. It is a question that a blogger answers to share some personal perspective or experience on random topics.

Meme rules?

* Link to your original tagger(s) and list these rules in your post.
* Share seven facts about yourself in the post.
* Tag seven people at the end of your post by leaving their names and the links to their blogs.
* Let them know they have been tagged.

Bonus: some more:

Likes to deliver more than promised
wants to measure his typing speed some day
my most common search on google is ‘define: xyz’ (trying to improve the poor vocab)
tries hard to make a top score at the rifle shooting game at oberoi mall (will get that some day)
can enjoy mcdonalds, subway and ccd equally
doesn’t believe much in astrology, but this iphone app result is so real
finds it a boring process and utter formality to wish someone on his/her birthday
says Hieeeeeeee like you heard in ’small wonder’
invests on and off in stocks since in school
twitter interactions and my about page dont reveal much. Jasa diste, tasa naste
temptation: sizzling brownie
desire: superbike
easiest distraction: tall girls
hates the idea of writing a meme, and the silly thing that I have to do is tag 7 people here