Women, Clarity & Power

What This Woman Wants

2009-10-19T17:50:43Z

This week Time magazine is asking "What Women Want Now." I must have been busy polishing my nails when the Time editors called for my opinion, so I'll share my desires here:

I want a woman president.

I want women's careers to be valued equally to those of men's careers.

I want childcare and the domestic sphere to be an equally paternal and maternal responsibility.

I want women's smarts to be seen before their bodies.

I want women to feel as entitled to success as men do.

I want equal pay for all.

I want at least as many women as men at the top.

I want girls to experience limitless ambition.

I want to end the fantasy that sexism is dead.

I want women to want power.

What if every woman expressed her desires? Tell me, what are yours?

Top 10 Uwritten Rules That Could Sabotage Your Career

2009-10-15T18:50:03Z

These are complicated times for ambitious women. On the one hand, there are record numbers of women at the top of industry. This year's woman-to-woman CEO succession at Xerox was a remarkable milestone. On the other hand, the glass ceiling remains firmly in place: Although women hold 50.8% of managerial positions in the labor market, they represent only 3% of Fortune 500 CEOs.

The media is crammed with pundits who claim the final word on what women want, need, or lack. There is a lot of statistical number-crunching and even more speculation. Women make better managers. Women are less happy. Women would have saved Wall Street.

But for all this attention to women in the workplace, we live in an age of mommy bloggers and hope, not an age of activism. Despite the fact that women remain grossly underpaid, taking home 78% of what men do, we are no longer inspired by feminist fervor. In fact, there is a pervasive reluctance to even acknowledge that sexism still exists, Harriet Rubin reported last year in a Portfolio magazine cover story.

Come to think of it, when was the last time you heard or read the word "sexism"?

Researchers have had to invent new terms, like "neo-sexism" or "modern sexism." They point out that the 21st-century version of sexism is nothing blatant, nothing "Mad Men." After all, sexual discrimination and sexual harassment are now illegal. Men, for the most part, have learned to appear politically correct. Most of them are savvy enough not to engage, at least consciously, in so-called "gender stereotyping."

So why, then, are women still lagging behind? Why are women's success stories still the exceptions that prove the rule?

Because beyond laws and regulations and attitude is the deepest, most pervasive, most unconscious and ingrained layer of our lives: culture. All of our laws and all of our diversity training won't close the gender gap, because it's the culture, sweetheart.

It's the culture that insists on coding babies as blue or pink. It's the culture that assumes men in the public sphere and women in the domestic sphere. It's the culture that defines active qualities as "masculine" and passive qualities as "feminine." It's the culture of patriarchy, in which power and privilege accrue to the men.

If you doubt that male privilege endures, just replay to Hillary Clinton's presidential candidacy.

Or consider the story I heard from Sarah, a mid-level manager in the tech industry. After organizing transportation for a team project, a male colleague recognized her success by describing her as "a great team mom." "Why was I 'a great team mom,'" she wondered, "while a male colleague who had performed the same task was praised as 'a great team manager'?"

Culture is the web of signs and symbols that enmeshes us so completely that we imagine it is inevitable, or "natural." Everything from language to images and institutions to rituals are part of this deep structure for our everyday lives. That's why patriarchy is so hard to pin down, let alone change.

It's subliminal, like the bass line of a song. You don't pick out the bass line to hum, because the melody is so much catchier. But it's actually that bass line that provides the rhythmic support for the music. You may not hum it, but you feel it in your bones.

Now, I realize that this is a moment when women want to focus on the positive. We want to emphasize the strides, not the stumbles. We despair of being pre-judged and pre-labeled as women. We would prefer, like Carly Fiorina, the Hewlett Packard CEO who (in)famously remarked that "there is not a glass ceiling," to deny reality rather than be defined by it.

As tempting as that tactic may be, reality ultimately refuses to be denied. Patriarchy doesn't disappear when we close our eyes. I say, it's better to know exactly what you're up against. To that end, I've pulled together the top 10 unwritten rules for working women. Don't let them sabotage your ambitions.

1. Men get the benefit of the doubt. Men generally get hired on their promise and women on their demonstrated experience. Men are usually taken at their word, while women get challenged more, required to deliver data and substantiation for their views. Chicken or egg: Do men get the benefit of the doubt because they are better qualified, or are they better qualified because they get the benefit of the doubt?

2. Looks matter. When is the last time you saw a CEO in shorts or a short-sleeved shirt? Bare those arms and legs at your own risk: flesh conjures up images of the beach and the boudoir, not the boardroom.

3. You won't get sufficient feedback. Professional development depends upon rigorous, comprehensive, ongoing feedback on your performance. How else will you grow and improve? According to the research, your male boss may not feel comfortable delivering that information to you, so you'll need to be direct in asking for it from him and from other colleagues and team members.

4. A working mother's commitment is assumed to be ambivalent. At worst, mothers are seen as potential flight risks from the organization, and therefore not worthy of any further investment. At best, mothers are denied plum travel and assignments, under the guise of benevolent protectionism, because "they won't want to leave home so much." Don't let anyone else speak or decide for you.

5. Actually, it is personal. In mid-career, at the point where everyone brings comparable talent to the table, it's who you know, not what you know, that gets you promoted. As HR pros will tell you, you don't push yourself to the top, you get pulled there. Men knew what they were doing when they invented the old boys' club. From the get-go, women need to be just as savvy, cultivating loose ties, close ties, mentors, allies, and champions.

6. Men are bred for self-confidence. From Little League to fraternities to the golf course, men's lives emphasize competition. By the time they get to the workplace, they are seasoned competitors, with all of the self-confidence that comes from having successfully weathered both the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. Consider the consequences: one internal corporate study showed that women will apply for an open job only if they meet 100% of the criteria listed, while men will apply if they meet just 60%. In order to assume that same level of self-possession (and entitlement), you have to design your own path to self-confidence.

7. Women are rendered invisible until they demonstrate otherwise. If you want to be noticed, you've got to offer your ideas, approach a mentor, ask for the assignments, build a network, convey your aspirations, and communicate your achievements. I've heard Sharon Allen, chairman of Deloitte LLP, tell this cautionary tale from her early career, when she was passed over for a promotion that she had earned. Allen went to her boss and asked why she had been passed over, since she had done x, y, and z to earn it. "Oh," he replied, "I didn't realize that you'd done x, y, and z." It's one thing to lose the game because you were outperformed, but it's another thing altogether to lose because you were never in play.

8. Women don't take charge, they take care. Research has shown that both men and women will judge a woman less favorably who asks for a higher starting salary than a man with the same credentials asking for the same thing. Men are rewarded for their out-spokenness, while women are expected to go along for the greater good. In order to negotiate this "woman penalty," you've got to dance that fine line between assertive and pushy, authoritative and bossy, smart and arrogant. Brush up on your cha-cha.

9. Women are different. Make no mistake. "Different" never means "equal." "Different" is code for "other." And in any us-them situation, you know what happens to the outsiders. Just think back to the "separate but equal" credo of racial segregation. Defining women as "different" (whether it's done by men or by women) serves to keep women positioned as outsiders, despite our increasingly dominant numbers in the workplace.

10. Women make great worker-bees, but visionary leaders--not so much. Margaret Thatcher is often quoted as saying: "If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman." Unfortunately, that's the kind of thinking that keeps the vast majority of women stuck in middle management, while men move forward into leadership roles. At a certain point, you've got to give up the grindstone to pursue vision and strategy.

What would you add to the list? Click on the comment button to add your thoughts.

How to Become a Self-Starter

2009-10-13T17:38:30Z

How to Become a Self-Starter

Gina is a self-described "young professional" who's ambitious about becoming a great event planner. She asked me, "What can I do to become a 'self-starter' and mean it? I'm putting off a big marketing project and looking for motivation to get going."

We can all relate, Gina, even us not-so-young professionals. Here are a few ideas that I hope will jumpstart your marketing project:

First of all, consider your motivation, or lack thereof. Sometimes things you're avoiding aren't actually worth doing. In that case, resistance is important information for you. If you do confirm that it is worth doing, then try to reframe the task in terms of the long-term benefits that do motivate you. For example, instead of thinking of this as a "marketing project," try thinking of it as a "triple my income project."
Break it down. Sometimes projects just feel too overwhelming in scope. I remember asking a UT colleague, who had written a 600-page textbook, how he got started and got through it. I never forgot his reply. He said, "I thought of it as one chapter--the one I was working on at the moment." So break down your project into small, finite pieces that feel manageable.
Schedule it in advance. Isn't it easier to exercise when you have a class you've signed up for, rather than squeezing it in from day to day? That's the beauty of schedules. They give you a support structure, so you don't have to keep re-committing.

What other advice do you have for Gina?

photo by Jon_Marshall

Turn Your Performance Goals into Learning Goals

2009-10-12T14:42:34Z

Turn Your Performance Goals into Learning Goals

Here is my duh-aha! moment for the day, from Keith Ferrazzi's new book, Who's Got Your Back: The Secret to Finding the 3 People Who Will Change Your Life.

(If you don't know Ferrazzi, he is also the author of Never Eat Alone. That book, a soulful approach to networking, helped transform me from an academic into a solopreneur. I recommend it highly, and often.)

In this new book, Ferrazzi makes an excellent, clarifying distinction between performance goals (outcomes) and learning goals (process). And he recommends that we translate performance goals into learning goals. Instead of: "lose 10 pounds," focus on "learn to cook healthier meals." Instead of "get promoted to manager," focus on "learn how to lead meetings.

This strategy makes goal-setting so much more concrete, and do-able, because it is incremental. It doesn't just focus on the pot of gold, as Ferrazzi compares. It focuses on the rainbow. I may know where I want to go, but how in the heck do I get there? Sometimes it seems awfully overwhelming.

And by itemizing the necessary skills/knowledge and identifying which ones we need to learn or improve, we focus on our own core selves, not just the external goal. I will eventually meet that goal and move past it, but the results of learning are forever.

When it's done in the context of a workplace, Ferrazzi calls the strategy "drafting," because you take advantage of the corporate goal, which may not be your own burning desire, to initiate your own personal growth.

The benefits are substantial. According to one research study that Ferrazzi cites, people who set learning goals are "better able to cope, remain motivated, and achieve more when faced with the setbacks that inevitably occur."

How can you revisit a current performance goal and transform it into a learning goal?

How Do You Schedule Your 15 Minutes of Nothing a Day?

2009-10-04T17:38:17Z

How Do You Schedule Your 15 Minutes of Nothing a Day?

I recently posted this factoid on Facebook: "Women who take vacations only once in 2 years are more likely to experience depression, tension, fatigue & marital dissatisfaction."

In subsequent conversation with a friend who approved of the sentiment, I added that "I'm a huge proponent of vacations, breaks, naps, and . . . 15 minutes of nothing a day."

You know I'm all about that 15 minutes of nothing day!

She told me how much of a difference that 15 minutes makes in her world: "I have four daughters, and constant noise. When the husband comes home, there's constant television. So my 15 minutes is filled to the brim with quiet. Total silence! I savor silence like chocolate. And at least twice a week 15 minutes turns into 2 hours when I sit at the cafe away from home and family. I crave these times."

I remember one man who attended one of my seminars. He wrote a note to me afterward, saying that he intended to spend his 15 minutes in a treehouse.

And then there was one coaching client who decided she wanted to do an hour out on the front porch every evening when she returned from her high-pressure job. I cautioned her not to set the bar too high, but, indeed, as she had assured me, one hour was easy for her. A few months later, she was so addicted to clearing that space for herself that she quit her job for an art sabbatical.

Tell me how you schedule YOUR 15 minutes of nothing a day. Email me now! Or click on the comment link below.

Photo by matwiemann

Stretch into Executive Presence

2009-10-01T06:48:40Z

Stretch into Executive Presence

As an academic expert on nonverbal communication, I'm often asked by professional women how they can physically improve their executive presence. They're usually surprised when I suggest a theraband and a yoga mat.

Stretching is an ideal way to achieve two major goals. First, to reduce tension, which you're most likely holding in your neck and shoulders. And second, to improve your posture, which gets more stooped and collapsed as the years progress. When you release that tension, lengthen your spine, and lift your chest, you project a sense of ease and authority that silently bespeaks confidence and authority.

I asked Katherine Coffee, health and fitness pro at Lake Austin Spa Resort, to add her insights on stretching. I've taken a terrific stretch class with Katherine, and I love her CD, "Full Circle Stretch." It will guide you through a series of safe, effective stretches for the entire body.

Katherine, what are the benefits of stretching?

Stretching releases tightness and tension from the body. It also improves range of motion, which helps us in everyday activities as well as in sports. And it feels so good!

Does stretching get more important as we get older? Why?

Yes, it does become more important as we mature, because the body gets tighter as we get older. And keeping the body mobile and flexible is very important for preventing injuries such as pulled muscles. Staying limber helps older adults keep their balance, so they are less likely to experience falls.

Any tips for how we can build a stretch practice into an existing workout routine?

It's best to stretch a little bit each day. Try taking stretch breaks every hour at work, or doing your stretches while watching the evening news, or following along with a stretch routine.

And while you're down there on the yoga mat, listen to one of Dr. George Russell's guided meditations. You don't even need a theraband!

PS--For more advice on improving the executive presence of your voice, click here.

Photo by Akuppa

Marcus Buckingham Says Women Have a Happiness Problem; I Say Men Should Stop Pathologizing Women

2009-09-24T14:50:43Z

Marcus Buckingham sparked a media furor (his obvious intention) with his provocate Huffington Post squib, "What's Happening to Women's Happiness?" Buckingham, who is not a professional social scientist and has no evident academic credentials, claims that women have become less happy than men since the feminist movement began. As of this moment, 1536 people have commented on his original post, and countless pundits have weighed in on their own platforms.

The post is an obvious ploy to sell his new book, being released next month. His game is to try to convince women that they have a problem, so that they'll have to buy his book. Buckingham wants us to believe that he alone knows how to "solve a problem like Maria." Or Ann. Or Tanya. Or [insert your name here].

So I'll add my own immediate thoughts.

First. I don't take a few broad brushstrokes of cobbled-together data as the gospel truth. Until I read and analyze those studies (and the other studies in the field) myself, I don't trust that they are accurate. You shouldn't trust that they're accurate, either. I see too many specious statistics and faulty interpretations parading around as gender analysis these days. In fact, I'd go so far to say that gender has become the cheap-and-easy way for third-rate thinkers (if they're thinkers at all) to boost their twitter rankings. Or, in this case, bestseller status.

Second. Let's say, for argument's sake, that these surveys are accurate. What, then, is the correct question to ask about them? Buckingham implicitly asks: What's wrong with women? Listen to this again. Where have you heard it before, in so many different places in so many different ways: WHAT'S WRONG WITH WOMEN? Men have been asking this central question since the dawn of patriarchy. Henry Higgins asked it most famously, "Why can't a woman be more like a man?" Women have not only failed to be powerful like men and successful like men. Now they fail to be happy like men.

Third. Just because the timeframe of the survey coincides with the women's movement does not mean there is any causal relationship between the two. Mistaking (or coercing) correlation for causation is the first sign of a rank amateur. This is someone who wants to lay down two twigs on the ground alongside each other and declare a fire. This is not someone you can believe, and certainly not someone you can learn much from.

Fourth. Buckingham would have us believe that "gender stereotyping"* is not responsible for this phenomenon because, hey, sexism as he defines it (strangely and naively) has dropped from 74% to 42%. Only half the population still thinks that "men should be the primary breadwinner and women should be the primary caretaker of home and family." Why in the world would women be discouraged by the "fact" that, after a century of women's rights advocacy, almost half the population still wants us barefoot and pregnant?

Fifth. Given that last one, I'd say women need to get mad, not sad. Certainly, they don't need to buy Buckingham's book to find out how to "fix" themselves.

* Topic for another blog post: "Gender stereotyping" is a smokescreen euphemism that blames individuals and masks the real issue: cultural beliefs.

It's time. Let's take back the discourse on/about women. Click on the link below to retweet this post and encourage women to speak for themselves.

As Suze Orman Says, "It's Part of the Deal"

2009-09-21T16:50:52Z

As Suze Orman Says, "It's Part of the Deal"

The financial guru girlfriend we love best recently responded to a question about pulling money out of an IRA that had lost money in the downturn. After exhorting the reader not to touch the fund, Orman (author of Women & Money: Owning the Power to Control Your Destiny) explained why:

I do not want you to change one thing because you are, in fact, doing everything right. How can losing money be right? Because it is part of the deal you make when you invest for growth over the long term.

My point here is not the financial advice. I was taken by how Suze reframed the investment as a deal that has its inherent features. She's saying, in essence: you invested in the stock market. The stock market goes down as well as up, even on its way to long-term growth. That's the nature of the beast. You voluntarily bought into the stock market, so why are you surprised, and panicking?

Let's translate this from money into life.

When you make a "deal," whether it's for a certain job or a particular profession, whether it's marriage or parenthood, whether it's a dinner engagement or a volunteer position, you agree to terms. For every deal, you are making investments and taking risks. It's up to you to conduct your due diligence before signing the deal. It's up to you to understand the investment required and the possible risks. It's up to you to make the terms explicit. It's up to you to negotiate. It's up to you to make sure that you can handle the downsides as well as the benefits. It's up to you to decide if this is the deal you want and will honor, come what may.

Because if things turn sour, or get tough, or don't go your way, you can't just throw up your hands like a four-year-old and scream, "No fair!" That's not power. That's a temper tantrum.

In order to get into the habit of clarifying, owning, and optimizing your life choices, try this exercise: I want you think about your life as a series of deals, from the most major to the most minor. Write down the three deals that are preoccupying you the most these days. Then, in subsequent columns, write the investment required, the possible benefits, and the possible risks for each one. If you had considered all of these elements of the deal, would you have made it in the first place? How can you better handle the deal now? And how can you make better deals in the future?

What's on Your NOT-to-do list?

2009-09-18T07:40:47Z

What's on Your NOT-to-do list?

If you're like me, you're constantly coming up with things to do. Ways to serve clients, teach concepts, launch the new audiobook, and so on and so on . . .

I first heard Jim Collins (author of Good to Great) talk about a NOT-to-do list at a conference keynote he gave. This recent blog post, "The Stop-Doing Strategy," by Matthew E. May (author of In Pursuit of Elegance), fills out Collins' story. Like so many of us, Collins adapted a less-is-more approach at a time in his life when he felt himself being more frantic than focused.

Having too much to do is not a badge of honor. It's a sign of poor self-management and a wasted life.

Try what Collins suggests: chop off the bottom 20% of your to-do list. Not only will you feel less burdened, you'll be able to accomplish what matters most.

Photo by CarbonNYC

10 Simple Ideas to Empower Women

2009-09-10T08:58:57Z

10 Simple Ideas to Empower Women

My eyes are blurry from a few days spent researching fresh facts on the state of women in the USA. (Yep, I'm updating my media kit for the upcoming audiobook.)

I just had to share this right away!

The YWCA has a really great webpage entitled "10 Simple Ideas to Empower Women."

The first few ideas, in brief:

Value yourself, and relationships where you are an equal.
Learn how to own your voice and assert your opinions.
Identify words and language that communicate gender bias.
Speak up about sexist jokes or sexist images.
Focus on the person instead of appearance.

Click here for the full list!

Which idea is your favorite? Leave a comment below.

Is Hope a Strategy?

2009-09-03T15:16:50Z

Is Hope a Strategy?

I've got to admit, the whole Obama "hope" rhetoric never had me convinced. Hope never seemed a tangible, actionable strategy to me. As a coach, I see the essential value of tangible, actionable strategy every day. It's all too easy for a person (or a nation, or an organization) to slip into platitudes and inertia. Hope felt to me an excuse for poor planning.

But an article in More magazine's September issue has me reconsidering the hope thing. In the article "A Plan to Make Your Hopes Happen," Judy Jones interviews Jennifer Cheavens PhD about her research on hope and mood. Dr. Cheavens is an assistant professor of psychology at Ohio State University.

Dr. Cheavens draws a distinction between hope and optimism. While optimism is a general expectation of good things, hope is defined as goal-oriented thinking. Hope, she emphasizes, is more than passive wishing. It requires a game plan. Now here's where the coach in me starts paying attention.

As Dr. Cheavens defines hope, it includes two components: pathways and agency.

Pathways thinking reflects your ability to come up with lots of different ways to get what you want in the future. Agency is the amount of energy, will or motivation you bring to using these routes. A person can be high in both pathways and agency, or low in both, or high in one and low in the other.

In other words, it's not enough to have lots of ambition without a strategy, and it's not enough to have a strategy without the juice to run it.

How hopeful are you? Dr. Cheavens suggests you ask yourself these three questions:

1. Do I believe that I can get the things I want in my life?
2. Do I think I can come up with ways to get what I want?
3. Do I think those ways are things I can actually do?

Re-Story Your Life

2009-08-31T16:18:59Z

Re-Story Your Life

At my last "Return to Clarity" mini-retreat, one participant told the group about a workshop she had taken some years ago now. "At first, it wasn't what I expected," she explained. "But then, it changed my life forever."

We asked the obvious question: Who taught that workshop???

The answer: Jeanne Guy, of course!

Jeanne's motto: "If you want a better life, it's time to write a better story."

Her workshop, "The Power of Your Story: When You're Ready to Re-Story Your Life," is beginning on Sept 9. Click here for more details.

In case you haven't had the pleasure of meeting Jeanne, here's a quick introduction:

What do you mean that I can "re-story my life"?

The question is, what is being born in you right now? Through journal writing, you can explore, re-examine, re-imagine, rethink, and reframe your life - your story - so you can improve your life and be in synch with who you are becoming. You can therefore, by example, improve others' lives through the process of re-storying your own life. The clearer our thoughts, the better our understanding of who we are now and the better our vision of who we choose to become. If you want a better life, it's time to write a better story.

Do I need to be a good writer to accomplish that re-storying?

No. Re-storying your life means taking a look at your life, your story, and reframing it, through the process of journal writing. Journal writing is not about being a good writer; journaling is not meant to be "writing." Writing is simply the tool. It's to open up a dialogue with your Wise Voice, who could care less about your writing and more about you knowing who you already are.

What is the power that comes from this process?

Christina Baldwin, author and journal writing guru, said it best: "The point of journal writing is to make our own life better . . . while we live it." Taking responsibility for and being accountable for your story is powerful; knowing who you are, discovering and giving the gift of who you are, is powerful.

How has this process worked in your life?

Over the last 15 years, this process has both awakened me to my gifts and made me realize life itself is a daily practice; there is no end to becoming. It has created connection, depth, opportunities, possibilities, growth, clarity, love and joy unanticipated.

Anything else you'd like to add?

If there was ever a time, if there was ever a call for us to know and be who we really are, it is now. There is no better time than now for us to re-story our lives. Because, by sharing our stories, we can re-story the world. As an African proverb says, "If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together."

Top 3 Do-Over! Mistakes

2009-08-30T23:12:18Z

Top 3 Do-Over! Mistakes

It's so exciting to see women reinventing themselves with a frequency and intensity that our mothers' generation would never have imagined. But it's still a challenge to take a Do-Over! in any part of your life. If you're in the process, here are the top 3 mistakes I see when I am coaching women-in-transition:

1. Poor Planning: You can't wing a Do-Over! Big or small, it needs to be thought-through ahead of time with at least the same precision as you plan a meal (think Julia Child). Not only do you need to consider the pragmatics of change, but you also need to consider how you will handle the push-back you're likely to get from your family, friends, or co-workers.

2. Confused Purpose: Wouldn't it be lovely if we all had a big idea for changing the world and started our own non-profit to implement it? But the reality is, not everyone has to change the world. Purpose isn't just about doing something. It's also about being something. As Victor Frankl argued, we can endow our lives with meaning by merely accepting our circumstances with dignity. Meaning isn't something we find; it's something we make. Frankl outlined four ways that we can give our lives meaning: accomplishment, love, nature, art/culture. Or, if you follow Joseph Campbell's way of looking at life, it's about feeling alive. So don't insist on finding a grand purpose that isn't yours because you think you "should." Make it authentic.

3. Insufficient Passion: Similarly, you've got to find what's really yours to love, even if the rest of the world doesn't value it. No one gave a hoot about French cooking in America before Julia Child decided to share her passion for it. A Do-Over! challenges us to the core, so you need to have passion in abundance to get through the rough patches.

Tell me, what have been your biggest Do-Over! challenges? Make a comment below.

Are You a Rising Star?

2009-08-27T19:43:37Z

Are You a Rising Star?

In the old days, women (and men) clung to a single corporate ladder, hoping to make it as far up those rungs as possible. But, according to a recent ForbesWoman article, today's ambitious women are remapping their careers.

Carol Hymowitz explains:

Instead of sticking with one employer and patiently waiting for promotions that advance them just one management rung at a time, women are snagging the top jobs in business, government and philanthropy by making daring and unconventional moves. By zigzagging across companies, industries and between the public and private sectors, they are gaining a breadth of experience and making big leaps with each change.

If you're a rising star, take heed. The difference between you and an almost-ran is this kind of strategic, long-term perspective. It's not enough to hope and believe and trust that a boss or mentor will usher you through the ranks of your current place of business. It's up to you to define the skill sets and cross-industry experiences you'll need to hit your ultimate career goal and to plot the best (even if unconventional or risky) options for acquiring them.

The gold goes to the bold.

Please . . . Steal This Style!

2009-08-25T22:11:07Z

Please . . . Steal This Style!

I don't know when it happened, but somewhere along the way I abdicated style for comfort. The photographs from the spring fling in Brazil were not pretty. What was I thinking with that flouncy blue-flowered top? I hate florals, and I hate flounce. But I was hoping, as mom used to say, to "hide a multitude of sins."

Sherrie Mathieson comes to the rescue with her bright, hip book Steal This Style: How Moms and Daughters Swap Wardrobe Secrets. It shows us how to take our cues from the younger set without looking like pathetic oldsters trying to pass for youngsters.

Mathieson is a nationally known style consultant. She has costumed and styled Academy Award-winning actors, rock stars, and athletes all over the country. She keeps up a private style consulting practice as well.

Her book is built around before-and-after photos, the former of a mom and the latter of that same mom with her daughter. The transformations are jaw-dropping. But what's even more extraordinary is that they're not that complicated.

My response to Sherrie's book is the same as I have with great conceptual art. I am awed by the brilliant simplicity of the gesture.

I think that this is my favorite before-and-after, because, well, this pretty much could be me on the weekends:

Lucky for us in Austin, Sherrie will be in town on October 15 at BookPeople bookstore to talk about her styling secrets and sign her book. She's being hosted by the fabulous womenbloom.com founder, Allison Allen.