To celebrate Randsday, you do something not done on any other holiday: you give yourself a present. Randsday is for getting that longed-for luxury you ordinarily would not buy for yourself. Or for doing that long-postponed, self-pampering activity you cannot seem to fit into your chore-packed schedule.

Randsday is for reminding ourselves that pleasure is an actual need, a psychological requirement for a human consciousness. …

Read the full description here. Especially if you’re unfamiliar with Rand’s philosophy, please do click over. You might be surprised to get a taste of what Rand really means by selfishness.

I feel like my life is a series of Randsdays right now. I’m in the process of adding small goals and values back into my life, after having set so many things aside when the twins were born just to survive each day. The first things to go are always The Little Things, and there was one big Little Thing that I had been putting off, which will be my Randsday gift to myself: I’m getting my hair done again! There was no way I could make the appointment for today, but I’m going on Sunday. I don’t care that it takes over two hours and costs a fortune – it makes me feel like a civilized human being, and that is not meaningless.

Here are some other values that I’ve recently added back into my life:

• Basic grooming: Unlike when Sam was a baby, this time around I didn’t neglect my showers. But most other personal grooming activities were neglected. Now I clip my nails, use moisturizer, and even blow dry my hair. Styling my hair is still beyond me, but I think that will come back when I have a nice haircut again.
• Blogging: I’ve been up and down with blogging since the twins were born, but every time I write a post it gives me great satisfaction, so I’m committed to continuing.
• Taking care of my health: Just applying my topical psoriasis medicine was too much for me for a few months. It didn’t matter that my head itched constantly – I just didn’t have the focus on myself needed to take care of the problem. I’ve gotten that back under control and I’ve addressed some other health issues as well. Next step: a dentist appointment.
• Contact lenses: It takes one second to put on my glasses and almost a minute to put in my contacts. No contest in the early days. Besides, you can’t nap with contacts in. I’ve started wearing contacts again on occasion, but I’m still having trouble with the idea that that one minute is worth it. I’ll work on that.
• Clothing: I’ve only had a day or two where I stayed in my pajamas all day, but the first couple of months I was ashamed and depressed every time I got dressed. Buying some new clothing, even if it is a few sizes larger than I want it to be, has helped me to remember what a selfish value one’s appearance can and ought to be.
• Jewelry: I’ve actually worn earrings a few times lately, although I have to stay away from the dangling kind for a while yet. You can’t put a shiny, wiggly object right in front of a baby and expect it to stay put.
• Massages: After just a couple of months, I started getting the occasional massage, and it was well worth it because feeding babies can really give you a kink in the neck. I don’t really need the massages anymore so I’ve moved on to bigger and better things. Namely,
• Exercise: I joined a gym this week, and I’ve worked out twice already! Some might think of exercise as a chore or duty, not worthy of this kind of list. But anyone who has kids understands that exercise can be one of the most selfish, pleasurable activities of the day. Just getting out of the house by myself is huge.

These are the Little Things that I need to do for myself in order to achieve and enjoy the Big Things. It’s not a trade off, in terms of time and effort to accomplish them. And it’s not a sacrifice of the long-range to the short-range. It’s not even a matter of hierarchy. It’s a matter of integration. It’s a matter of being selfish and ambitious in all things, no matter how small. And when we dismiss the small, we lose sight of the purpose and meaning of the big.

Randsday is the time to challenge any duty-premise, re-affirm your love of your values, and honor the principle that joy in living is an end in itself.

Amen.

I put the ball under here. Now you listen to me. I’m going to tell you what to do. You go over here and  I’ll go over there and then we’ll get the ball…no! That’s not the way to do it. Now I’m going to put you in jail. I’m going to put you in jail for real and you’ll never get out again. But I didn’t know that. Okay, you’ll be okay. Now you listen to me, I mean it. Does anybody want a peanut?

Leo is growing hair. It’s not as light as it used to be, and it looks pretty funny because it’s just a patch right over his forehead. It’s fun to give him a mohawk.

Zoe is no longer the frail, delicate baby she used to be. She’s positively chubby. We call her chipmunk because of those cheeks.

I was right about their eye colors. Leo’s are a nice blue and Zoe’s have finally morphed over to brown. I’m excited that we can finally sing “Brown Eyed Girl” to one of our children.

Both of them have become much more aware of the world this month. They are both easily distracted while eating, which can be annoying. When I take them out in the car it’s no longer a guaranteed nap – they both try their best to stay awake and observe everything. They are both more aware of people, but Zoe in particular is beginning to have preferences. As I wrote about earlier this month, she did not like our backup babysitter. But she seemed instantly taken with Sammy’s teacher. Leo will bestow his adorable smile upon anyone who pays attention to him.

Because of this awakening awareness, they are showing the first signs of getting bored, or whatever the baby equivalent of that is. I can no longer leave them happily lying on the floor for very long. They often need a change of scenery, and they seem to like it when we have guests or get out of the house. I have been getting them out a bit more, and it’s getting easier. As long as we can make it through the winter, I think we’ll be okay. I’ve been extremely lucky that this winter has been so mild. We haven’t even had to put the sleeping bag thingies on the car seats, let alone bundle up two babies for an outing in seriously cold weather.

We’ve entered the world of drool, especially with Leo. I wish that meant that we were done with spit up, but no such luck. Both Zoe and Leo can pick up rattles and small, soft toys, and put them in their mouths. They love to sit in their Bumbos because it leaves their hands free to put things in their mouths. Everything goes straight to the mouth now. I found a small piece of felt on their blanket yesterday and realized that it’s time to start being careful.

Sometimes I think all these new developments are making things harder, but if I ever need to remind myself of what the first months were like, all I have to do is look at the feeding charts. We stopped charting just a few days ago. I gathered up the papers yesterday to put in the baby box. We have 44 pages of recorded feedings, diaper changes, medications, and baths. In the first days and weeks, if you look at the times, it’s just crazy. Did they really eat at 10pm, 1am, 4am, and 7am? Both of them? For days on end? Yes, they did. Things are definitely easier now.

When it comes to development, Leo continues to be a superstar. He is now an expert at rolling onto his tummy and doing “push ups.” He actually likes being on his tummy and will even sleep that way, although sometimes he can’t get back onto his back and that drives him nuts. One time he rolled quite a ways off of the playmat – it looked like he was heading towards a ball that was on the ground. But he never made it, so he has changed his focus to crawling. He has started the “inchworm” move – while lying on his tummy, he’ll arch his back like a cat and then straighten out, pushing forward from the knees on the ground. He has managed to locomote forward a little bit this way. And he loves to stand up! If you give him just a bit of support and help with balance, he’ll stand for a minute at a time. It’s amazing. You can even get him to take steps if you move him like a marionette. I know that boy is going to be a handful in just a few months.

Poor Zoe is just slower than Leo, so her accomplishments don’t get as much attention. But she is progressing. She is much better at holding and picking up objects than she was last month. She just learned how to roll from her tummy to her back – her preferred position. She hates being on her tummy, but I’ve seen her working on the roll from back to tummy so I think that will happen soon. Her vocalizations have gone from learning new consonants to learning new tones and sounds. She practically sings. It’s adorable. She also seems to be learning to love dolls. Since she loves people and faces, this does not surprise me.

Leo laughs a lot. His joy is infectious and it is filling our house with goodness. But he also cries a lot. He’s entered some new phase where he cries when we leave him in his crib. Sometimes it seems like he is upset about having rolled onto his tummy. Sometimes I think he just wants to be back out where all the action is, or that he is lonely. And there is the possibility that he just needs more Zantac. We’ve even speculated that he might be teething, but it’s been a couple of weeks and nothing has broken through. It’s hard to tell with Leo. He’s very expressive – everything is big and loud and over the top, so subtleties are lost.

Zoe, on the other hand, seems so easy to read. I look into her eyes and I just know what is going on. When she is hungry or tired, she just tells me, and I take care of her. It’s all so simple and easy. The downside is that she does not smile or laugh as much as Leo. She’s not what you would call the life of the party. She is earnest, simple and sweet.

We let them join us for a little bit of The Lion King last weekend. I watched Zoe’s eyeballs flick around, taking in every visual detail, as Leo “sang” along with “Circle of Life,” unable to observe without participating. Meanwhile, Sammy talked and asked questions through the whole movie, as usual.

Three very different children.

So what did you do at school today?
I did a piece of work before I had snack.
Oh.
Yes. And I had snack with R.
Oh, that’s nice. What did you talk to R. about?
Oh no. I didn’t have snack with R. today, I had snack with A.
Oh, I see. So what did you talk about with A.?
He asked me to marry him.
Really.
Yes. He asked me to marry him so that we could kiss someday and he asked me to kiss him and I did.
You kissed him today, at school?
Yes.
Was that the first time you kissed a little boy?
No.
Oh, really?
No. A. is not a little boy. We’re getting married.