COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION!

It’s the most important part of BDSM and vanilla relationships alike.

The more you know about your partner, the safer and more exciting your playtime will be.

Called by many names, a Negotiation form, BDSM Checklist, Check-in form is just a list of kinky activities. Don’t be overwhelmed, you may have no idea what some of these things are, and that’s OKAY! Some things might seem extreme or even shocking to you.

Don’t worry; you NEVER have to do anything you don’t want to do. Sometimes we might only be interested in fantasizing about certain things and not actually doing them in real life. That’s what negotiation is for, to share with your partner what you will, won’t and might, do.

Negotiation forms will give you new ideas, spur communication and remember, your answers will change over time and depending on what person you are filling this out for. Some words have similar meaning and are left ambiguous, to see what they mean to you. This form can be filled out by the Top/Dominant, bottom/submissive or Switch.

Download a PDF Version

Click here to see a google Doc version

NOTE: You will be prompted to make a copy of the file to save it to your own Google Drive.

EXXXOTICA is The Largest Adult Event in the USA Dedicated to Love & Sex. Taking place over three days, this event was created for adults who are looking for something Sexy, something Fun, and something Different.

Bo will be teaching three classes again this year, heavily weighted in the relationship & polyamory tract. He will also be signing his book “BDSM for Beginners – 50 Shades of Curious” after his classes and at his booth near the dungeon.

Coaching Couples on Poly & Ethical Non-Monogamy
Date: Friday, October 24, 2025
Time: 10:15 PM – 10:55 PM
Location: Seminar Room B.

Relationship Coaching – Getting on the Same Side of the Fence
Date: Saturday, October 25, 2025
Time: 4:05 PM – 4:40 PM
Location: Seminar Room A. 

Beginning BDSM for Couples – How to spice things up in your bedroom
Date: Sunday, October 25, 2025
Time: 3:15 PM – 3:55 PM
Location: Seminar Room B. 

I’d like to welcome my IRL partners :

Anna Blaze & Dee Blaze

to a new venture that is specifically going to help couples who are in or want to be in polyamorous/Ethically non-monogamous relationships

We wanted to let you know that we will be be teaching the following 2 classes at Exxxotica 2024 in Edison NJ

20+ Years of Polyamory! What we’ve Learned

Whether you call it Poly, ENM or CNM, Polyamory is all the rage. It seems like half of your friends are trying it or are at the least curious. So, what is it REALLY like… even after the new relationship energy is gone? Join bestselling author and Alternative Life Coach, Bo Blaze, PCC and his two partners in life and their business “ENM Couples Coaching”; as they fearlessly share all the good and bad of the last 20+ years of their polycule/family.  Have questions about Ethical Non-Monogamy? This is the place to get 3 different unique perspectives from 3 professional ENM coaches who have done this for real, day in and day out for 20+ years.

Coaching Couples on Ethical Non-Monogamy

Polyamory is not easy, there we said it. But take it from us, a polycule/family that’s been together 20+ years, it is not only possible but amazing when it’s done ethically with integrity. What can be especially difficult is the transition from monogamy to polyamory for an existing couple and what that will look like for them. Join bestselling author and Alternative Life Coach, Bo Blaze, PCC  and his two partners in life and their business “ENM Couples Coaching”; Anna Blaze & Dee Blaze. They will not only talk about opening up an existing couples relationship but also how to improve your existing Poly relationships. 

Polyamory or Ethical Non Monogamy (ENM) or Consensual Non Monogamy (CNM) is the practice of having romantic or sexual relationships with multiple partners at the same time, with the knowledge and consent of all involved. It is a relationship style that can offer a number of benefits but it is not for everyone.

One benefit of polyamory is that it allows individuals to have multiple intimate relationships, which can provide a sense of emotional fulfillment and support. In monogamous relationships, it is common for one partner to fulfill all of an individual’s emotional and physical needs. In polyamorous relationships, individuals have the opportunity to have multiple relationships that can provide different types of support and connection.

Another benefit of polyamory is that it can allow individuals to explore their sexuality and desires more fully. In a monogamous relationship, it is common for one’s sexual expression to be limited to the desires of their partner. In a polyamorous relationship, individuals have the freedom to explore their own desires and interests without feeling confined to the expectations of one partner.

For example, you can have one partner that you consider your primary and have a very power neutral relationship with them. You may have another relationship which focuses on BDSM and allows you to consensually dominate your partner. You might have yet another partner that you and your primary partner enjoy having sex with together a couple of times a year.

The point is, there are no rules in polyamory/ENM
other than having the consent of all involved.
It’s your life and your rules!!!

Polyamory can also promote open communication and honesty within relationships. In order to navigate multiple relationships successfully, individuals in polyamorous relationships often need to be open and honest about their feelings, boundaries, and needs. This can lead to a greater level of trust and understanding within the relationship, as well as the development of strong communication skills.

Finally, polyamory can offer a sense of community and support within a network of multiple relationships. In a monogamous relationship, an individual may feel isolated and unsupported if their partner is not able to provide all of the emotional and practical support they need. In a polyamorous relationship, an individual can draw on the support of multiple partners, creating a sense of community and connection.

As I’ve said above, It is important to remember that polyamory is not for everyone and individuals have to consider their own needs and boundaries before entering into a polyamorous relationship. It is also essential for all individuals involved in a polyamorous relationship to communicate openly, honestly, and with consent.

If you need an alternative to OnlyFans please check out LoyalFans.

I have a lot of sex worker friends. This shouldn’t surprise you as a lot of my work is with alternative sexuality clients. My friends have been screwed by OnlyFans and need an OnlyFans replacement.

I also have friends who own various adult websites of various kinds.

I want to bring you people together. LoyalFans is your answer

Some of my sex worker friends happen to be major stars like like Katie Morgan & Lauren Phillips and they left Only Fans quite a while ago and went exclusive

Here is some information from LoyalFans

Loyalfans believes creators and influencers deserve to be paid well for their hard work and creativity. Loyalfans is the next-generation platform allowing creators new and innovative ways to build a platform, communicate with fans, and earn revenue doing it. But how does it work?

There’s a lot you can do with the Loyalfans platform, and there’s also some general questions that come up on occasion. So, here are the answers to some Loyalfans FAQs that people are often curious about.

Why Loyalfans?

Earn up to 80% across the board and build a consistent avenue for residual income from constant contact (DMs), voice messaging, live streaming (both one-on-one and one-to-many, both free and paid), OBS streaming (like Twitch), clips and video sales, image and GIF sales, mass messaging, scheduled posting, live video calls and so much more.

What is the biggest difference in ability to make money from Loyalfans and other platforms?

Loyalfans is a true hybrid and the first platform to combine all areas where an influencer can make money from their content — and do them all very well. The biggest advantage would be the ability to monetize the live streaming section and video call feature. It is very diverse. You can use it for free for all visitors that come in. Fans then have the ability to send tips directly in the cam area. You can also set goals and go private for high dollar pay-per-minute for one-on-one interactions.

These sessions can also be posted to your wall and – coming soon – you will be able to archive hardcore private and/or shows directly to your clip/video store area. Even just quickie login streaming sessions to chit chat have seen tremendous results in all areas of profiles!

Are you making money on your referrals on the platforms you are on?

With Loyalfans, your referral links actually go to your profile and are useful as well as profitable.

Look at your current platform and see how much in referral money you have earned. Then compare that to how many people you have sent to these platforms. It is amazing how much there is to be made from this passive revenue. You will get 5% of whatever your fans spend, no matter where they spend. So, should your fans move on to someone else, guess what? You will still earn from them. You also can earn 5% of whatever any influencer you refer makes — for life!

Do you have someone that helps you with your account or manages it for you?  

We at Loyalfans are very conscious of security for the influencers. We even have created “delegated accounts” that gives you the ability to allow or delegate someone to manage your account without giving them access to your personal information – things like your banking info or the ability to go live on cam are not accessible to a person you may designate as your account manager. This helps keep your information and your account in safe hands: Yours!

Payout Consistency

Loyalfans is a US-based company backed and built by one of the largest companies in the adult industry. You will never have any issues with payouts or irregular and/or inconsistent requirements.

If you need an alternative to OnlyFans please check out LoyalFans.

Your should probably just assume that we will receive commissions when you click ANY of our links and make purchases. However, you should know that I will only suggest things I believe in. I will never take compensation for something I wouldn’t ask my mother to use… ok… NOT the best example, but you get the idea!!

Bo was a guest on his friend Paul Nelson’s CAM4 podcast “How’s it Hanging” several times this year.

Episode #7: 50 Shades of Curious | Kink & Fetish 101 
CAM4 Presents: How’s It Hanging?
Paul welcomes Bo Blaze, world-renowned kink & fetish expert and author of 50 Shades of Curious, for a discussion on exploration and getting comfortable with your desires.

Episode #10: Polyamory – Where to Begin? 
CAM4 Presents: How’s It Hanging
Paul Nelson welcomes back sexpert & author Bo Blaze to help couples navigate their entryway into the world of polyamory and ethical non-monogamy, from where to start to building a successful open relationship.

NOTE: This series is meant to spark important conversations and debunk stigmas; these episodes by no means replace a face to face consultation with a licensed medical professional.

 Thank You, Donald Trump!

Some of you may be wondering how these words could come out of my mouth?

But again, THANK YOU Donald Trump, because you have done what no one has done before.

You have revealed the real world to me with complete certainty.

But first, some backstory. You should know politically I’m an independent. These days I certainly lean Democrat (okay really far leaning, like laying on the floor leaning) but that’s only because the Republican party has gone insane and turned into a group hateful, bigoted, old white men who don’t want anyone to take their stuff and Democrats are really centrists now for the most part. I believe in the Chris Rock school of politics,

“Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.”

But I guess I identify as an independent mostly because all politicians are sociopaths!

At least to some degree –when your job description calls for lying for a living, congratulations you’re a sociopath– but with this new fangled internet thingy I was starting to actually think maybe the people who really run this country could MAYBE lose some of their hold on us?

We elected Barack Obama, a man who regardless of your politics, you have to admit was a model for good and decent human beings. He made you proud when he represented our Country, no scandals, nice kids, impeccable first lady, just a man who’s sociopathy amazingly seemed to be rooted only in trying to navigate the cesspool that is American politics. Oh and don’t know if you noticed, he was our first African-American President, something I never thought I’d see in my lifetime.

More changes started to happen. Gay marriage, Trans rights and better acceptance, climate change rules, etc etc. I really started to actually believe that maybe, finally, we were growing as a race. Actually Seeking Truth and Losing a bit of Fear?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Silly me, here I was letting myself dream for a second and not adhering to my long held belief that nothing is going to change until we blow it all up and then MAYBE, only maybe we might be able to start again and do things better.

All great civilizations die, we will be no different.

If you want to know what I believe just read or view George Carlin’s “The American Dream” bit. It’s about as dead on to what I believe as anything I’ve ever heard. The quick overview is that we have owners in the Country, not freedom. All the politicians, judges, are legally bought and sold with our ridiculous lobbying laws and as my hero, Bill Hicks once said: “Politics in this Country is really just one guy with his hand up two puppets asses”. You’re free to do what they tell you!

So back to thanking Mr. Trump.

Sure, Trump is clueless. One might go so far as to say that he’s one of those people who are so dumb, they don’t realize that they are dumb. But really, can we blame him for his ways? After all, he is what I call a learned sociopath. A guy who from the time he was born was told that everyone not in his world was less than, was nothing, people to be bought sold and pissed on. Especially those dirty scum that aren’t lily white and privileged. He was told that there really is a difference, that those brown people, those poor people, they are lesser, you are better, you are special Donald. As a matter of fact, if it forwards your business agenda or makes you some money,

Killing a few poor or brown people is completely acceptable!

After all, they are dispensable, disposable, they aren’t a Trump or any other old money family that are the real owners of this Country. Empathy is something that is left to the unwashed masses. Let those idiots believe in their organized religion and ridiculous dreams and anything else we feed them. Most important of all, that they have any actual say in this oligarchy.

So again, back to thanking Mr. Trump.

Unfortunately, our Country is run by politicians. Most recently, Obama, the Bush’s and the Clinton’s. Regardless of which side you fall on, you really had NO IDEA WHAT WAS GOING ON when they were in office. Was Bush really stupid, did he really make his decisions to go into the middle east because of the family interest in oil, His fundamental Christian beliefs about the Apocalypse? Did Hillary & Bill continue to funnel money into her pocket’s with Asian fundraising, Whitewater and the like?  Did Bill abuse his power and seduce Monica? He was impeached after all. Was the email leak really something you should care less about or was it exactly the same thing others have done in the past? Did Benghazi ruin the credibility of Obama and his Secretary of State?

Could you really be sure if a decision was made for reasons you weren’t aware of? Something that had to be done for national security for example. If they hadn’t done what they did, maybe we would have all died in a fiery Armageddon. We’d never know and they could never tell us.

You see, you could dislike the other side, but if you are a thinker, a seeker of truth, you knew deep down in your gut that you reallllly didn’t know if the media or the other political party or some idiot on the internet took everything out of context and spun things like their life depended on it. Alas, with technology being what it is now, would we ever again know for sure what’s really going on?

Queue the superhero music

YES! Look in the sky, it’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s DONALD TRUMP!

Mr. Trump, you are by far the most transparent human that has ever taken the oath of office. Time and time again you have revealed yourself to the public with such certainty. All that was needed was for one to simply use their eyes and ears.

Donald, you are pure!

And it’s verified and on videotape, for all to see. No questions, no uncertainty, YOU did all the work for us.

The NY Times article “Trump’s Lies” lists your almost daily lies and falsehoods.

Allen Clifton, co-founder of Forward Progressives, has a nice list of almost 70 Trump facepalms that amazingly, are almost all verifiable by Trump’s own tweets, interviews, and public appearances.

Yes, you are so refreshingly unconcerned about being held accountable, you will just say anything at any time and not even care if it’s verifiable.

So Finally, I thank you Donald Trump

because you have now made it so very clear to me who I should waste any of the rest of my life talking to or spending time with.

If you still support Donald Trump at this point you are either Stupid, Evil or Broken.

In my mind, it’s black and white, and regardless of which combination of those things you are, I want nothing to do with you. I don’t want to waste another breath talking to you. It doesn’t matter if you are a close friend or if you are someone I know from my facebook feed. Go away. I don’t want to argue. I don’t want to change your mind. Enjoy your blissful ignorance of truth and decency.

But don’t worry, Why would you care what I think of you anyway? I’m not important, you’re not important, none of us are important, certainly not Donald Trump. None of us are important in the scheme of things. In 100 years every last one of us will be dead.

We are just grains of sand on a tiny, tiny beach on a rock hurtling through infinite space, forever.

LOL, the dirty little secret of all this is that you don’t matter, neither do I AND THAT IS how they keep control of us. That’s why it will never change. Our Egos. We want so badly to matter, we want so badly to think that WE are somehow special. Of course, only those of us that have chosen the correct imaginary man in the sky and their particular flavor of nursery rhyme. We can’t deal with that fact we will die. That we will be no more.

We would rather fight and kill and follow the dogma of our owners rather than face the fact that

WE ARE NOT IMPORTANT.

So thank you, Donald, for reminding me of all this and that I do not want to spend any time with those that are so un-evolved that they would buy your bullshit for one minute.

To put it succinctly:

If you don’t understand what the problem is. I have not the time nor inclination to teach you right from wrong.

Bo Blaze 2017

Bo was asked to participate in a great article written by psychotherapist and New York Times best-selling author Ian Kerner for CNN.com. It’s called

Is ‘Fifty Shades’ a boon or bust for couples exploring kink?

Bo explains:

I really love this article! Ian asked us all the same questions and so many of the answers from other therapists were identical to answers I gave. It really showed me that we are pretty much all on the same page regarding our feelings on this 50 shades phenomenon.

Basically, it’s a romance novel that happens to be about BDSM. It’s not meant to be a factual explanation on how to do BDSM safely. It’s done a lot of both good and bad for the BDSM community. Please do read the article, I think it’s a great read!

Is ‘Fifty Shades’ a boon or bust for couples exploring kink?

Philly, Bo will be IN YOU, Dec 9th and 10th 2016!!

He’ll be teaching the following classes at:

50 Shades of Curious: BDSM for Beginners – Class & Book Signing:

Friday, December 9 at 7 PM – 9 PM – It’s time for some BDSM 101! Who better to teach this class then the bestselling author of the book “50 Shades of Curious – BDSM for Beginners” and Alternative Life Coach, Bo Blaze, PCC? Bo will cover some of the most important things you need to know when you get started with BDSM. He’ll cover everything from consent to communication, including a look at how to find partners and a primer on where/where not to hit on the body. This is an interactive class and Q&A. If you are new to the scene, new to a specific type of play or just have some burning questions, this is the class you don’t want to miss. Signed copies of “50 Shades of Curious – BDSM for Beginners” will be available!

Tickets: Click here for tickets and more info

• https://www.facebook.com/events/1825328787750403/
• https://fetlife.com/events/506670

The DeTails of Flogging:

Saturday, Dec. 10th at 3 PM – 5 PM – A great beginner to intermediate class taught by Bo Blaze, author of the book “50 Shades of Curious” and co-owner of the popular flogger company detailstoys.com. Bo will show you why he feels specific throws are less important than getting comfortable with your flogger and yourself. You’ll learn techniques to build confidence and accuracy and get a good overview on various hides and materials, which along with throws and angles, all come together to create both stingy & thuddy sensations. Live demonstrations and important basics like, “where and where not to hit” will round out this fun, laid back but very informative look at flogging.

Tickets: Click here for tickets and more info

• https://www.facebook.com/events/207871262980985/
• https://fetlife.com/events/496607

Accepting the Demon Within:

Saturday, December 10 at 7 PM – 9 PM –Since birth we have been socialized to act certain ways. “Don’t ever hit a girl”, “never kick a man in his groin”, “you’re a big person, be careful not to hurt anyone”, “Good girls would never do that” etc. Join “Alternative Life Coach” Bo Blaze, PCC as he examines how these “demons” affect those of us who like to consensually hurt one another. Even within consensual dynamics, we may still feel a sense of guilt and shame associated with our “taboo” attractions. This can keep us from reaching our potential as tops and bottoms and truly making spiritual connections to our sadism and/or masochism.

Tickets: Click here for tickets and more info

• https://www.facebook.com/events/312516899134013/
• https://fetlife.com/events/496618

Bo will be teaching classes daily & signing books at EXXXOTICA Nov 4-6 2016.

EXXXOTICA is The Largest Adult Event in the USA Dedicated to Love & Sex. Taking place over three days, this event was created for adults who are looking for something Sexy, something Fun, and something Different.

Bo will have a booth where he will be signing his book “50 Shades of Curious: BDSM for Beginners”, teaching flogging classes in the play area all weekend long and will be teaching the following classes on the education stage.

Fri 9:30 PM
SEMINAR: BEGINNING BDSM FOR COUPLES – HOW TO SPICE THINGS UP IN YOUR BEDROOM –  Ladies admitted free on FRI – with Bo & partners Anna and Lady D

Sat 9:15PM
SEMINAR: BDSM EXPLORATORIUM WITH BO BLAZE, PCC

Sun 2:00 PM
SEMINAR: SUBMISSIVE FEMALE/DOMINANT MALE – HOW DOES IT WORK IN REAL LIFE? –  with Bo & partners Anna and Lady D