The baby is here!  Thanks to everyone who has helped out in the past few weeks, especially those guest posters.  I’ll continue to be on semi-maternity leave over the next few weeks, but I wanted to share the good news and my birth story (for those interested).  Cheers!  Christine

Cole Isaac Gilbert

Born: 3/5/10 9:50 PM

8 lbs 12 oz

21 inches long

“The Cure”

I had breezed past my due date and by Friday my midwife wanted me to get an ultrasound to make sure the baby was still thriving in his post-40-week world.  We were planning a homebirth, a carefully weighed decision based in part on the nearly perfect health I had been experiencing throughout the pregnancy and my strong desire to avoid a c-section, especially since we would be birthing in the US, where c-section rates top 30%. It’s not a choice for everyone, but we were well-educated about the options and it felt right.

That afternoon, I ate lunch and headed over to the ultrasound appointment.  Drew and I sat in  silence as the tech tried to jiggle our baby into movement.  The bio physical scan scored the baby based on 4 types of movement, from rolling over to “practice breathing”.  Our score?  Zero.  I drank some juice.  I poked the baby and wiggled my abs.  After 30 minutes, our midwife transferred us to the hospital for more tests.  The baby wasn’t moving.

Remember that perfectly healthy pregnancy I talked about?  Well apparently on Week 40, Day 4 I developed pregnancy induced hypertension.  Normally you’d see this after the six month point, when the women’s blood pressure starts to creep up and her kidneys begin dropping protein into the urine and her feet and hands might get really swollen.  According to the blood work, I had moved past that first stage of just hypertension, beyond mild pre-eclampsia and was now looking at some of the scarier effects like my kidneys not working correctly, blood clotting issues and potential seizures (when blood pressure in a pregnant women gets too high they don’t stroke out, they have a seizure… fun fact).

The cure?  The doctor sat down and tried to couch it as nicely as possible.  “The only cure is to have this baby.”

We didn’t freak out, in fact we were very calm about the matter.  We spent about 30 minutes quizzing the doctor on the relative merits of induction verses cesarean, the likelihood of success based on cervical favorably, bishop score and methods used, and ultimately what did he think was the safest for everyone involved?  “If it was my wife or daughter? A c-section”.

I think everyone (the doctor, nurses and midwife included) were a bit surprised when we said, “Okay.”  Maybe they expected us to  fight it, to try to come up with some way to birth at home or to take the insane risk of disregarding the medical advice we had been given.   But to us, a home birth was about safety, not about some ego-driven one upmanship over our child-bearing peers.  A low risk, healthy birth is safest when left alone… but all of that goes out of the window once there is complications.  If you are sick, if your baby is at risk, you want a doctor there.  That’s why we did the tests and ultrasounds… to rule out anything that would cause us problems down the road.  Well, it worked.  I signed the paperwork and they prepped me for surgery.

I won’t go into too much detail about the actual surgery, as it’s not pleasant.  You wouldn’t expect it to be, I’m sure, but I might have of had a slightly harder time than other women as the spinal made me extremely sick.  There is one moment I’ll always remember though, and it’s the single bright spot in the experience.  I was gasping for breath from beneath the sickly plasticy smelling oxygen mask, with my own vomit drying on my face and in my hair, trying to not succumb again and I heard my baby’s first cry.  I couldn’t have been further from the moment, forgetting completely why I was subjecting myself to this and his piercing scream pulled me right back.  I burst into tears and felt this clear, indescribable  joy.

Afterward, I got everything I wanted.  Cole was alert and latched an hour after surgery (when they stabilized me enough to permit breastfeeding).  I stayed up with him most of the night, marveling his perfect little features, the way he pouted (my husband says he gets this from me) and the way his breathing gets excited as he gets close to me.  I had spent all this time planning the perfect birth, and I got almost none of my wishes, except one.  A healthy baby.  Later I would tell Drew that the disappointment, the anger, the sadness of having our plans dashed would take time to heal.  Really though, it  hasn’t been time.. the cure has been Cole.  Being with him has been so opposite, so perfectly wonderful, it’s redemptive.  I feel like I won the baby lottery.

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Who is it that said “It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey”? Nine months of full time traveling has proven to me that this is absolutely true.

Before leaving on this trip the thought of an 8 or 10 hour bus trip was pretty daunting. The longest trips we’d taken were on planes, where they serve drinks and meals and we can pass the time watching movies. Eight hours on a bus, without the same amenities sounded like torture but we jumped in right from the start with a 22 hour ride from Lima to Cusco that, while not the most comfortable ride, got us into the swing of things pretty quickly.

Once we got a routine down…snacks packed, books prepared, podcasts ready…and had determined our favorite seats…on the drivers side, no window bar blocking the view, no children nearby…bus journeys became easy and now travel days are some of my favorite days.

They are a chance for quiet reflection, to leave behind what is past, to think about the place we are leaving and start thinking about how we will remember our experiences there…that great evening we had at the market, the interesting people we met at the cooking course, the horrible bed at the guesthouse. They are a chance to look forward, to anticipate what is coming, and to plan ahead…where will we go next, how will we get there…where will we stay. They are a chance to stare out the window and think about where we’ve been and where we’re going, about past successes and future plans…when else is there a chance to do nothing but quietly think?

Travel days let us learn a little bit about the people and culture of the places we visit. Sitting in an airport, bus station or train depot gives me a great vantage point to see how people relate to each other. Who is traveling with who? Where might they be going, and why? Are they traveling for work, or holiday, or to visit family? Who are they meeting…or leaving behind?

In a small northern Turkish town we witnessed a heart-wrenching goodbye between two young men. Turkish men are very close - it is normal to see them holding hands and embracing each other – and this couple seemed heartbroken to be leaving each other. One boy sat in the seat ahead of us, perhaps on his way to school or military service, his friend stood outside the bus. They spent their remaining time together with hands pressed against the glass, trying to talk through the window and texting each other on their phones. I don’t understand Turkish but is was clear they were going to miss each other terribly.

I like the act of traveling, the moving forward, the getting somewhere. I love watching the scenery slowly change from rolling hills to flat plains, along high twisty mountain roads or perfectly straight desert highways – there is always lots to see. One of my favorite bus rides is still that first 22 hour ride between Lima and Cusco. I will always remember dawn breaking over the altiplano, the smoke rising from the llama herder shacks and the sun glinting off the frost that covered the ground.

There are plenty of stories to be told about dodgy bus trips, or awful plane rides, or the never-ending tuk tuk/minivan/bus/boat combination…what would we do without those stories? But there are also plenty of journeys that are made perfectly lovely…the lemon spritz on Turkish buses, the meals served on Argentinean buses, or the comfy bed on the overnight Thailand train.

Travel days are an integral part of travel. They are filled with possibility and anticipation of what lies ahead. I like the optimism they have, the sense that fun and adventure lie ahead. No matter how long or short the journey they will always be my favorites.

About the author:

Gillian believes that we are all only One Giant Step from making our dreams come true. She, and her partner Jason, left home nine months ago for a one year trip around the world. She writes about their experiences and adventures at One-Giant-Step.com

Pic: BertBeckers.
Pic2: Hoyazmeg

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When I started blogging, I wasn’t trying to make money on-line or become famous. In fact, I never expected anyone other than my friends and family would read it. But now, I’m pretty sure that blogging saved my expat life.

I moved to Belgium five years ago as a trailing spouse. My husband and I decided together that we wanted to try living in Europe. The opportunity came up sooner than we expected, when his company offered to move us to Brussels. Legalities being what they are in Belgium, I was unable to get a work-permit as the trailing spouse, so my days were filled with getting our new life settled.

Back then, blogging wasn’t as ubiquitous as it is now, and I didn’t know much about it, but I got tired of writing the same things and answering the same questions in a dozen e-mails. I had learned basic web design and HTML in school so I decided to start a website to share stories and photos with my friends and family back home.

My blog posts were basically extended letters. I didn’t think much about grammar or structure. My posts didn’t have a topic other than what I had been up to since the last time I wrote. I never expected anyone that didn’t know me would bother much with my blog.

In those first few months, I wrote only about happy things – new places we travelled to, new discoveries we made, etc.

The shiny newness of expat life wore off pretty quickly though. The reality was I was mired in mountains of Belgian bureaucracy and red-tape. We had no support from my husband’s company; we didn’t speak the language; we knew no one and we lived in a small community with limited public transportation. I spent most of my days feeling isolated and depressed and wondering what the hell I had done.

I didn’t want to burden my family and friends with my woes. Honestly, I felt like a failure for being depressed in the first place. I mean, I was living in Europe after all. Something that is a dream for most people was my reality. Except most days it felt more like a nightmare.

I turned to the blogosphere for help. Although there weren’t many expat blogs based in Belgium at that time, I found some blogs written by expat women in other countries who were writing about the exact feelings I was having. Suddenly I didn’t feel so alone and it gave me the courage to write about what I was really experiencing.

It was scary to put my stress, struggles and depression out there, but instead of scorn for my whining, I started to get email and comments from other women in my situation. Some were already in Belgium, some were planning an expat move and all of them had similar fears and worries as me.

I was contacted by an expat news website in Belgium and asked to do a weekly column about my experiences in Belgium. Through that column, even more trailing spouses contacted me and encouraged me to keep writing and sharing.

It didn’t happen overnight, but gradually things got better. Because of my blog, I met people, I had an outlet for my stress and worry and I had a sense of purpose. Blogging and the support of my readers gave me the courage to pursue my career as a photographer.

Five years later, my blog and my life have changed dramatically. First of all, we have both moved out of isolation – me to the centre of Brussels and my blog to its own domain.

CheeseWeb is now much less focused on my day to day life and more on expat life in general. It covers a range of topics about life and travel in Belgium. I have guest posters on different topics from art to technology and I write about many different travel destinations around Europe.

Blogging opened so many doors for me in the early months of my expat life and continues to today. I honestly believe that blogging saved my expat life.

About the author:

Alison Cornford-Matheson is a garden and travel lifestyle photographer based in Brussels.  Her website, CheeseWeb has grown into a resource for expats in Belgium as well as a guide for interesting places to visit, eat and shop, but first and foremost it remains  personal journal of one expat wife, making her way in a foreign land.

Pic: lanier67

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Are you one of those people who really cares what other people think of them to such a degree that it influences almost every decision you make?

I have met some people who based every decision they made on trying to get other people to like them. They would buy fashionable brand-name clothes because it was trendy and should impress others. They would live in an expensive apartment because it should impress people. They would drive an expensive car because it should impress people. They would smoke because it was cool.

Caring vs Not Caring

Let’s take an example of two guys:

Guy A does everything with the sole intention to try to impress people. He drives an expensive car to look cool, wears expensive clothes to be classy, buys people drinks to look generous, smokes to look cool, tells stories about all his cool (and fake) adventures.

Guy B doesn’t care much what people think about him. He has his own mission and his own likes and dislikes. If he doesn’t like something he won’t do it or he will simply say no. He is one of those guys who may just show up at a black tie event in shorts and sandals because he was in the area and wanted to see his friends. He will go and dance on an empty dancefloor in a busy club because his favorite song is on and he doesn’t want to wait for others to start dancing before he can have fun. He will be the first one to open his mouth when something isn’t right while other people just wait in line and don’t say anything.

While guy A may initially seem cool, he is fake. Nothing about him is real. Once people discover this about him, they will likely lose respect for him very quickly and all his efforts of trying to impress people actually lead to people disliking him. There is nothing likable about people who are deceptive and unauthentic.

The chances for people to like the guy B are actually pretty high, although he totally doesn’t set out to be liked by people. He is happy with who he is, he has boundaries and he sticks to his principles. Sometimes he may be perceived as a bit of a social idiot with no manners (like showing up at a black tie event in shorts and sandals) and there are people that will not like him for that. However, many people will actually like him and respect him for having such a strong identity and for having his own boundaries because it is something that many other people do not have. He is real and will not sell himself out just to impress other people.

This is a cool little graph that shows the effect of caring what people think about you on how people actually think of you. The more you care what people think of you, the less likely you are perceived to be a cool person. The less you care what people think of you and the more you do your own thing and have a strong sense of your own identity, the more people will think you are totally awesome.

Who do you want to be like? The person who bases every decision on trying to impress others or the person who is on their own mission and happy with who they are?

Not Caring vs Being Stupid

There is a big difference between not caring and being stupid. The reason why I am telling you this is because I don’t want you to read this article and think “Hey, Diggy says I shouldn’t care what people think” and then go up to the first police officer you see and start swearing at him and calling him a fat doughnut-eating pig. That is not the idea behind not caring what other people think, that is being plain stupid because it WILL get you arrested.

Not caring about what people think means not basing your decisions on what people will think of you.

You do something because it is what YOU want to do, or it is a part of your goals or mission. If you are in a great mood and feel like doing a cartwheel on the street then just do it. If you think an outfit looks really nice, don’t worry about if others will like it or not. If you have something you want to share with the world, don’t be too scared to stand up and tell people about it just because it is possible that they will laugh at you.

I think that by now you understand what I am trying to say.

How To Not Care

Okay, this is what you have been waiting for the entire article: How to not care what other people think of you.

It is one thing so say “Ahh, I don’t really care what people think”, but it is another story to actually not care what other people think. How do you go about adopting the habit of not being affected by how other people will think of you (especially when you have conditioned yourself for years to base your actions on impressing people)?

First, it is going to take time.

You will not be able to change yourself overnight, and probably not within a week either. It is going to to take you conscious effort for a few weeks or even a few months before you can really and truly not care about what others think of you or your actions.

People don’t like you because of what you buy and what you have, they like you for who you are and what you are. (There are unfortunately always people who will pretend to be your friend for their own personal gain. These are not the kind of people who you want to like you anyways). This is something I am telling you from experience, and even though you may take what I say to heart, you will still have to realize it for yourself. I cannot do that for you.

Secondly, you are going to feel awkward.

The only way to really not care about what people think means you have to start doing what you want in the situations where you normally change your behavior to impress other people. Initially this is going to feel awkward to you. You might feel humiliated, stupid or embarrased. It doesn’t matter, it’s part of the process and it won’t kill you.

I used to be the guy who cared a lot about what other people thought. I used to want gadgets, clothes and cars to impress people. I used to think if I just went along with other people I would fit in and they would like me. It took me a good 3 years to get to my current stage where I care little about what other people think of how I live my life.

Where it started for me is being really shy to approach attractive girls. I would be scared to go over and talk to her because of what she might think of me. And if she didn’t want to talk to me I would be scared to be humiliated in front of other people. Like I said, it took me a long time to change my thought process and not care anymore what people think about me. The only way to change it was lots of experiences, forcing myself to go up to attractive girls and just saying the first thing that came to mind (which was often something ridiculously stupid).

It took me a long time to realize that it doesn’t matter.

It doesn’t matter what people think of you when you do something. It doesn’t matter if you do something cool or something stupid. Most people don’t even know you and will never see you again. So what if you do something stupid and people around you think that you are a moron for a few hours. They probably won’t even pay attention to you for more than a few minutes.

Do you remember someone who made a complete fool out of themselves last week, or last month, or last year? Maybe you can think of one or two people, but other than that you probably can’t, even though there were hundreds of people around you who felt that they did something stupid or who felt embarrassed about what other people would think about them.

Parting Words

The most clear and simple instruction that I can teach you how not to care about what people think of you is this:

Whenever you do something ask yourself “Am I doing this to impress other people and because I hope to be liked by others, or am I doing this for myself?”

If the HONEST answer to the above question is that you are doing something to impress others and you wouldn’t really do it otherwise, then don’t do it. Do things because they are part of your mission, your goal or because they amuse you.

Remember, it doesn’t matter what the people in the restaurant think of you, or what the group of girls at the club think of you, or what the people who view your Youtube videos think of you.

What matters is that you are true to yourself. Be true to yourself or you ain’t true to nobody!

Diggy writes all about self improvement and personal growth. He wants to inspire and motivate as many people as possible to live their lives to the fullest and to be their best selves. Spread the word or subscribe to his blog via RSS or Email

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From exploring ancient ruins to attending internet conferences in Washington, escaping to a Mexican beach to freezing ourselves stupid in Montreal - we’ve done it all this year and all while keeping two businesses running, two bank accounts from seeing red, one relationship intact and two families happy despite their eldest children having deserted them for a faraway land.

A mean feat? Perhaps. However, I have to admit it was far easier than we ever thought it would be!

My partner and I are what you might call digital nomads or as some close to us put it we “do blogs and stuff”. We run two busy internet businesses from the comfort of our… well … our laptops, wherever we are and whatever we are doing.

However, pairing a busy business and travel doesn’t always merge seamlessly – there isn’t some sort of digital utopia - but with the right planning, the right mindset and a realistic approach you can hop very happily between work and play with a different background every day, week or month.

1. Don’t Burn Yourself Out

One thing we learned very quickly was that while traveling is absolutely awesome, taking too many trips in too little time will burn you out faster than a candle in a furnace – not to mention your business (however organized it may be) will probably take a hit too.

At the beginning of 2009 we spent more time traveling than we did at our base in Montreal and by March we were feeling it big time. Despite being major travel addicts we began to crave staying at home just to work all day without interruptions – that’s when you know you really need to take a break.

We learned to be realistic with our travels. Running yourself rampant 24/7 will not only kill the travel buzz but potentially restrict your business growth, if not get you off track altogether. To combat this, try taking shorter trips more often, or traveling more slowly. You’ll find that having “down time” will allow you to recharge, refocus and prepare to tackle your next adventure.

2. Schedule “Work Time” Each Day

Working as you travel doesn’t have to be stressful or impossible. What we’ve learned to do is to allocate “work time” each day regardless of where we are in the world.

The best way to do this is to figure out how much you really need to get done each day – the most crucial tasks such as emails, managing staff, blog posts etc. Scheduling your time around the most important items will keep you honest, but it’ll also prevent task creep - those sundry items that use up your time, but aren’t productive.

You’d be surprised how much work you can get done when you have a restricted time limit. When you know how much time you have to commit to your work each day you can plan your travel itinerary accordingly and you get the best of both worlds.

To ensure you get the most out of your allocated “work time” be sure to shut off any distractions – yes that means no Twitter or Facebook! Lock yourself away in your hotel room or at a local internet cafe, get your work done pronto and then you are free to explore the fascinating sights at your fingertips.

3. Treat Your “Office” Well

When you’re living the life of a digital nomad your laptop is your office, your livelihood and in some cases your only connection to the “real world”. Make sure you invest in a quality laptop for your adventures - upgrade your memory, increase the speed and update your virus protection (with all the different internet connections you’ll be using you might be vulnerable to icky bugs in your system.)

Also be sure to keep your laptop uber organized when you’re traveling. Having a disorganized laptop is much like having a messy desk – it’s distracting, inefficient and inhibits productivity. Instead, keep your files easily accessible, filed appropriately and make backups of everything – losing a month’s worth of photos, notes, blog posts and e-tickets is like a removing a limb (while conscious) for a digital nomad.

4. Keep in Touch with Family (or face the consequences)

One thing about embarking on an adventure is that you inevitably leave people behind, be it your partner, children, parents or friends. Despite what some travelers might say, there is no excuse for not keeping in touch in an age where my Mum is “writing on your wall” - seriously, she will!

Unless you are in a Saharan desert onboard a camel, there is probably some way of keeping in touch with your loved ones back home. Sacrificing a few bucks and 10 minutes of your time to shoot a quick email back will make all the difference to them and perhaps give you one less scowl at Christmas dinner.

To streamline communications, make an email group of all your closest family and friends so that each week you can put together a quick 3 paragraph email about your latest adventures, attach a few photos and send it off to everyone at once. People love to hear travel stories and see photos from people they know, a few minutes of your time will make their day.

5. Save Money for Things that Count

One of the reasons we were able to make so many trips this year is because when we did, we traveled smart. Why spend thousands of dollars on unnecessarily luxurious accommodation or airfares when you could take 2, 3 or 4 trips for the price of one fancy, schmancy excursion?

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting you share your nights with rodents and bed bugs, I’m talking cheap flights, 3 star hotels (with rave reviews) and a car that will get you from A to B quite nicely with no risk of sliding backwards down a hill.

You don’t have to sacrifice comfort, quality or enjoyment in order to have an affordable holiday – it just takes a bit of research, patience and a whole lot of face time with the G-man aka Google.

With all the websites available, nowadays there’s really no excuse for not at least trying to find an alternative to the first deal you find. Sites like Booking.com, LastMinute.com, iTravel2000.com (and the list could go on and on) are great for comparing a ton of flights, hotels and car rental options all on the one website.

For flights… experiment with dates, times, airports and airlines. For hotels… check star ratings, guest reviews, location and what the room includes (e.g. breakfast, wifi etc)

Spending a bit of time trying to save money on things like free WiFi, breakfast, taxis to and from the airport, which might seem like tedious work but when the savings allow you to take an extra trip each year then you’ll be thanking me for kicking your butt into gear on this one.

Overall the life of a digital nomad has been pretty darn sweet to me, and every day I am thankful I’ve been lucky enough to have the opportunity.

Pairing work and travel does not need to be stressful or chaotic as long as you play it smart, plan well and dedicate time for the tasks that count.

About the Author:

Elysia can be found at That Traveling Couple where she and her boyfriend Andrew write about their travels and adventures.  “We’re both incredibly fortunate to be able to run our online businesses from any couch, bed, desk, beach, cafe, airport in the world – as long as there’s a kick a** internet connection – something we are grateful for every single day!”

Pics: Da Quella Manera, Mang Pages, Bendeming

Download your free copy of 30 Ways in 30 Days to Redesign Your Life and Travel the World HERE! It's a 155 page ebook filled with answers to all of your lifestyle redesign questions. It's free only for Almostfearless.com subscribers for a limited time. (That's you.) Thanks!

I’m writing this at 3 AM, wondering why no one warns you that you begin to lose sleep months before the baby comes. The waiting is almost over though, as I’m just two weeks away from my due date. I just got my latest “No baby yet?” email (everyone has been asking me this), so I thought I’d make it official: baby is not here… yet.  Which means I’ve just jinxed it because secretly… I’m in no rush. I kind of like being forced to slow down.  It’s quiet here, I’m working on projects, taking long naps everyday and while I’ve already begun cutting back my working hours, my income has stayed the same. It seems benign neglect has been good for me. Maybe Tim Ferriss has something with The 4-Hour Workweek after all. The key is to become extremely pregnant so that you can’t possibly work more than an hour without taking a break, laying down for a bit or having a snack. (To anyone who has emailed me in the past 2 months, you know this is true).

So what have I been working on?

A New Ebook: It’s about digital nomading, specifically the tricky little piece about earning money. It’ll be launching sometime in March/April, and as always the ebook will be free for subscribers (for the first month).

The big move (again!): Since I returned to the US to take advantage of my health insurance and to have a baby in a place where I won’t have to have the word PUSH translated for me, we now have to recreate the Great Atlantic Crossing with the husband, two slightly fatter Labrador retrievers and now one 2-3 month old baby.

Bulgaria, Greece, Morocco, Tunisia: Given the realities of traveling with a little one and two dogs, we’re planning all of our travel in 3 month intervals… quite slower than we’ve been used to over the past two years. I’m interested in the more off-beat areas around the Mediterranean, but we haven’t set anything in stone.

The Sailing Experiment: Wouldn’t it be cool to sail around the world? It seems like it, except that one little detail: learning how to sail. Oh and making money. So the hubby and I are planning on taking some sailing courses this year to test out the theory: is travel by sea compatible with nomad life? Will someone finally invent a worldwide satellite internet device that will work anywhere and costs less than $1000/mo? And finally, what exactly will salt water do to my laptop?

Perfecting my breast stroke: I’ve been swimming… a lot. I go to a community pool during the day with the gray haired little old ladies and in the locker room they talk about their aches and pains and I think, “I hear ya sister!”.  Then I waddle my butt out to the pool, make a big production out of lowering myself into the water and finally, thanks to the miracle of buoyancy, feel like a human being again for about 60 minutes.  Sometimes on the way home I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror and wonder when that woman is due.  Oh that’s me!

Oh yes, perhaps a guest post or two

I don’t usually have a ton of people writing here, besides myself, but I am looking for kick-ass, on topic (travel, digital nomad related) and incredibly useful articles. If you have one, send me an email at christine.gilbert@gmail.com (subject line: guest post) <– if you don’t use that subject line I won’t read your email.

Free Book Friday returning soon!

It’s on hiatus for the moment, but expect it back by April! In the interim, if you have a book you’d like to suggest for an upcoming review and giveaway or if you’re an editor or publisher that would like to send me a free copy (or two) send me an email at christine.gilbert@gmail.com (subject line: book reviews) <– and again, if you don’t use that subject line I won’t read your email.

Boring Baby Stuff

Finally, a little promise to the readers out there that aren’t very baby-crazy at the moment. There are over 4 million babies born in the US every year. It’s actually not that big of a deal (unless it’s you, then it’s the biggest deal). I get that and I haven’t forgotten my 32 years of pre-baby life. So I won’t be doing love letters to my son or any kind of updates on his pooping or lack there of (that’s what Facebook is for, right?). So while I’ll announce the birth, that will be the end of the baby updates (unless the little tyke has some particularly keen insights into the finer points of travel, working abroad or living a nomad lifestyle, which let’s just say it, it’s probably going to take at least 6 months to get him up to speed).

So what are you waiting for?

Download your free copy of 30 Ways in 30 Days to Redesign Your Life and Travel the World HERE! It's a 155 page ebook filled with answers to all of your lifestyle redesign questions. It's free only for Almostfearless.com subscribers for a limited time. (That's you.) Thanks!

I’m this month’s host of DNBC, a traveling (from blog to blog) online carnival– a digest of the most recent month’s best posts for anyone who interested in the live-anywhere work-anywhere lifestyle (we call them digital nomads).

Money

I’ll start out this month’s edition with a piece I found on yahoo.com’s homepage this morning.  US News’ 21 Things We’re Learning to Live Without (by the way, I love when a print publication writes something in a list format, which is so borrowed from the online world), which talks about all the stuff we used to spend money on before the economy went to hell and consequently, hey look, life isn’t so bad without $7 carmel-mocha-venti-whathaveyous and (gasp) putting things on your credit card with no plan of paying it off.  In fact some people are saying the trimmed down lifestyle actually simplifies their life and frees them to focus on other things.   A great reminder (or refresher) for anyone trying to scale down their own lives.

Real Life Education

Want to learn French?  Learn how to sail a boat?  Isn’t that a big reason why most people dream of traveling?  It’s not the security lines at the airport, that’s for sure.  It’s learning about another culture through whatever door appeals to you the most– and in this case, you can learn all of these things from anywhere.  The School of Continuing Education from Brainpickings.org lists some of the more interesting online offerings for uncredited education.  My favorite is the LaidOffCamp’s offering of “How to be a Digital Nomad.”  Brilliant.

Technology

Just released this month, the super cute, very tiny Asus laptops just announced that they’ll be packaging the Boingo software on new releases.  Boingo, if you’re not aware, is the wifi service used all over the place (like airports) but it costs about $5/hr to connect.  I’m not a fan of  pay-per-use wifi, but this deal includes a 50% discount for Asus owners, which might be just enough for me to trade in my beat down Dell and get one of those mini devices myself.

Fellow Nomads

Vicky Baker from the Guardian actually contacted me for this piece, so I have a little pride in knowing that one of her sources was recommended by me (they all had to be UK based).  She wrote this great piece for the Guardian.co.uk, Escapees Traveling the World While Working Online.  There’s some great profiles of folks (from all different phases of life) who have made the leap.

The New Vanguard

I love it when folks get together to create something  great, something bigger than their individual efforts.  Recently The Untemplater launched, a brand new site dedicated to the finer points of living the unscripted life.  They’ve even written a manifesto, which despite sounding like something written by cave dwelling geniuses with at least slightly malevolent tendencies, is actually a collection of six case studies for living off-the-beaten path.  Looking forward to reading more from this group.

Kill Your Online Life

Finally, I’ll leave you with this video from the Web 2.0 Suicide Machine.  I’m not there yet, but there is something inherently appealing about simply killing off your Facebook profile, ignoring all emails and dismantling your online connections one by one.  I don’t think it’s all or nothing– these tools make a lot of what I do possible– but I do sense that growing frustration (which I share) about all the ways the online world creeps into your daily life.

pic: Don Solo

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After all the recent news about the airlines, don’t you wish you didn’t have to fly at all?  Or at least you didn’t have to actually pay to be treated like cattle?  Me too.

I recently signed up to be an affiliate on for Chris Guillebeau’s website, the Art of Non-Conformity.  I was digging around his ebooks and came across his newest one: Frequent Flyer Master.  What piqued my interest (despite the name sounding a bit like something you’d see on a 2 AM infomerical) was that Chris was promising that anyone could gain enough frequent flyer miles to earn a free ticket (25,000 miles) by reading this ebook.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I had been thinking about my own frequent flyer status and how I should really get serious about my miles.  The last time I even thought about my accounts was when, in a fit of frustration, I gave away all of my American Airlines miles to one lucky reader.  But if it’s that easy to earn flights, maybe it’s time to dip my toe back in.

So I got a review copy.  My first reaction: woah.  Apparently, I have been doing it all wrong.

Without giving away too much, if you’re an active traveler and you pay for your flights– you’re doing it wrong too.

I started doing the math.  If you made a few changes, took advantage of annual incentives by certain airlines and gained status with an airline or two (thereby increasing your per mile flown to per mile earned ratio), then I could see someone– especially a long term traveler or someone on a year abroad– racking in enough miles to fly dozens of times a year, absolutely free.

So why doesn’t Chris advertise this with his ebook?  In part, I think he’s trying to undersell his product.  But I also think he’s writing for a largely self-improvement, entrepreneurial, life-style redesign folks.  He travels a lot, but his audience might not.  For many of his readers, the idea of being able to bounce from LA to New Zealand to Thailand to Malaysia and back home again over a month is like, “so what?” If you’re not freed up to travel, the flight isn’t what’s holding you back.  It’s vacation time or pets or family or a thousand other things.

But for travelers?  It should be required reading.  Not only do we fly enough to make getting free flights worth it, but we fly internationally.  What fun is it to gain 300K miles if you don’t use it for a first class flight to Sydney?  Or instead of buying that $5,000-$10,000 RTW ticket, you earn enough miles to get it for free?

The big catch? The ebook isn’t free.

Of course, most of the methods in his ebook are, and he’s bundled it with all of his other travel hack/airline type ebooks, so you get:

• The Frequent Flyer Master: which tells you how FF programs work and how to hack them
• The Travel Ninja: All about RTW tickets and long term travel
• Surviving Travel in North America: Getting free access to lounge access, tricks to booking cheap flights etc
• Using Priceline: Tips on how to get deals
• 2 audio tracks with questions and answers
• And a nifty excel spreadsheet all set up to track mileage, rewards, future trips, travel goals etc.

So there’s an incredible amount of value for $79.  Which I know sounds like a lot.  But, you have to do the math for yourself.  Would getting a few free flights a year be worth it?  Are you traveling now or planning to travel soon?  Even if you only get one free ticket (which Chris has his famous money-back guarantee) then a ticket for $79 is a pretty good deal.

How will I use this new knowledge?  First class tickets!  I won’t be making as many short flights with the dogs, baby and husband in tow, but it would be very nice to have two 1st class tickets for our transatlantic flight this summer.  That’s my goal over the next few months, and for $79, to me, that’s totally worth it.

If you’re planning a RTW trip, seriously, take a look at this ebook.  If you have a little time, a little patience and know what you’re doing, I think, you could literally fly for free that whole year.  If I was planning a similar trip, that’s exactly what I would do.  Pool your money with other travelers and share this ebook, I won’t tell (just don’t tell Chris you heard it from me).

If you had 100,000 frequent flyer miles, where would you fly?

Pic: Alan Light

(Taken on a First Class Sleeper on a

United flight from Toyko to Chicago)

Download your free copy of 30 Ways in 30 Days to Redesign Your Life and Travel the World HERE! It's a 155 page ebook filled with answers to all of your lifestyle redesign questions. It's free only for Almostfearless.com subscribers for a limited time. (That's you.) Thanks!

Five guidebooks, each covered with pictures of golden temples and vivid spices, gave me the same advice: when I go to Southeast Asia and India, I should use the right hand to eat and gesture because the left hand is considered unclean. I do not know what these guidebook writers would have thought of my left-handed cousin, who was born and raised in North India, and always used her left hand even when accepting the offerings of Gods at temples. Her left-handedness was important to her and she was not willing to sacrifice it merely to satisfy the whims of strangers.

We travelers get this type of advice all the time, that is, advice on how to fit in to the community to which we travel. I have been advised to wear black clothing and designer jeans in Italy, to speak exclusively Spanish in Spain, and to dress modestly and avoid speaking with men in Middle Eastern countries. But, though I may try my best to adapt, I will never be mistaken for a local. And, even if the subterfuge of changing my dress, language, and mannerisms would be enough to mark me as a local, do I want to give up my heritage, culture, and predispositions merely because I have crossed borders?

The Problem With Adaptation

“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.” Charles Darwin, The Origin of the Species

The traveler who adapts to foreign customs is most likely to manage the hassles and pressures of travel. Though I was born in Philadelphia, spent most of my life in Alabama, and speak Tamil poorly, my skin color and features instantly define me as a person of Indian-descent, so I wear salwar kameez when I travel in India to avoid being stared at or hassled by the local touts. We adapt not only to avoid the irritations of the foreign nation but also to show respect for the culture and customs of the people upon whose country we descend. At Ayers Rock, when the aborigines asked us not to take pictures of their sacred sites, we complied even though we saw other Westerners pressing their flash buttons.

As with all things, there are people who take adaptability to the extreme. When we were in Ireland in 2003, we met Americans who slapped Canadian stickers on their backpacks, not because they were ashamed of their country but rather because they did not want to be questioned and antagonized about American policies and the Iraq war.

No matter how we adapt, whether simply changing our clothing or deceiving others about our origin and nationality, we lose a bit of our authentic self through the process. Some will argue that these changes are good and by adapting, we become more broad-minded about ourselves and the world around us. I hesitate on that point. Middle Easterners argue that adaptation to Western society is killing their culture and customs, as children are exposed to shocking sexually suggestive lyrics from musicians and nudity on television. In the same way, I wonder why I voluntarily set aside my beliefs in feminism by acceding to the wishes of conservative nations and cover my head, shoulders, and legs while traveling through those nations.

This is the problem of adaptation. Though our attempts to change ourselves may assure our survival in a foreign land, we may not be happy in merely surviving.

The Problem With Authenticity

Then, let us reintroduce the self – like my left-handed cousin who refused to use her right hand at temples, I decide which beliefs are important to me and I place a strangle hold on them, refusing to adjust or alter them despite foreign customs to the contrary.

A good example is my vegetarianism. I was raised vegetarian in a South Indian household and remained vegetarian even when my brother and cousins started eating meat because I did not wish to consciously harm an animal by my actions. Traveling as a vegetarian is undoubtedly a challenge. I lived in Spain for two months, where roast pigs and beef hang from every second storefront, and never tried paella; I spent a month in Australia and ate mostly pastas and French fries; and I have lived my entire life in the United States and never tried a McDonald’s hamburger or a thick cut steak. I refuse to eat meat because vegetarianism is part of my world view though many cultures do not understand that viewpoint.

The extremists, who refuse to adapt at all, do exist as well. This is the stereotypical “obnoxious American traveler” who sees the country through the window of a tour bus and demands McDonalds everywhere, without interest or desire in meeting the citizens whose country they seek to visit. Recently, for example, one couple advised us that when we go to Egypt, we should not step out of our hotel or tour group or try to meet the local people because of the chaos and unsanitary conditions. Even world-renowned traveler Rick Steves may fall into this category with his advice that travelers should abandon learning foreign phrases and instead use “Special English,” by speaking like a “Dick and Jane primer,” while in Europe.

The problem with remaining true to our principles while traveling is that we may sacrifice opportunities. Though Saudi Arabia is incredibly beautiful, I do not plan to travel there because I would be embarrassed and suffocated in a place where I could not enter a restaurant or drive a car because of my gender. I do not criticize the Saudi Arabians for their beliefs but recognize that mine are different and that I do not want to alter my beliefs in feminism just to satisfy my curiosity about their culture and country. Similarly, because I am vegetarian, I miss many important cultural experiences, such as eating fresh caught sushi, Argentinian barbecue, and French foie gras.

The Balance

The hardest part of travel is finding the balance between authenticity and adaptability. Though I do not eat meat, I eat everything vegetarian, including oddities like sweet potatoes cooked in geothermal steam and durian. We have seen girls wear shorts in India yet immerse themselves in the local culture and cuisine. We have Sikh friends who speak fluent English, eat American food, but wear their beard long and a turban wrapped around their head.

All humans an intrinsic desire to fit in to their surroundings, yet, no matter how much we try to mimic the language, patterns, practices, and customs of another country, as Robert Louis Stevenson wrote, “There are no foreign lands. It is the traveler only who is foreign.” We bring our customs, our beliefs, and our lives with us when we cross borders and, in doing so, educate others about our own country. The question every traveler faces is which beliefs and habits to give up and which we should hold on.

About the Author

Akila has itchy feet and an insatiable appetite.  Her mind (and waistline) is expanding as she travels, cooks, and eats her way around the world with her husband.  Follow her journey at The Road Forks.

Pic: paullikespics

Download your free copy of 30 Ways in 30 Days to Redesign Your Life and Travel the World HERE! It's a 155 page ebook filled with answers to all of your lifestyle redesign questions. It's free only for Almostfearless.com subscribers for a limited time. (That's you.) Thanks!

There was a time when the scariest thing I could think of doing was quitting my job and taking off overseas with just a laptop and a vague plan of becoming a writer. Now I’m maybe 6 weeks away (maybe more, depends on which due date you believe) from meeting this baby and changing everything all over again. I don’t know which was scarier… maybe it’s reassuring to know that everyone has kids, and that there’s a well-worn path to motherhood. On the other hand, you can never really know how it’ll be for you, and I feel much the same way as I did preparing for that fateful flight to Madrid two years ago. Excited, nervous, hopeful but utterly unsure of what my life is about to change into.

It’s brought me closer to my work, in a way. After a bit, most people accept your traveling lifestyle, or at least you become adept at answering questions and deflecting negativity. Someone would write me, asking “How do I deal with this person?” and I found myself struggling to connect to what that felt like. My answer now (tell them the truth and move on) isn’t particularly helpful to someone who is carving a new life but still hasn’t blown through all those roadblocks. Yet as a Mom-to-be, I’m instantly reminded of the “right-way folks” and the “well-aren’t-you-lucky snarks” and everyone else who seemingly has some agenda about how you live. I’m battling all over again, this time on different ground.

It’s through this process, that I’ve come to suspect that there is a growing wave of folks wanting to “do something different”. It’s not just the would-be-travelers but the natural parenting movement too. It’s not just the digital nomads working remotely, but also the unschoolers and their creative tykes. There’s something that doesn’t work about modern life–for some of us and instead of dropping out, we’re building up.

I recently read an article stating that 50% of Americans don’t like their jobs. I’ve never been someone who assumed that everyone who worked a 9-5 was unhappy. Nor do I believe that corporations are inherently evil (in fact, after working in one, I think most silo-structured companies do harm out of ignorance, not greed). But there is something to a number as high as 50%. If you went to college, do you remember what it felt like to pick your major? There was an excitement, an unknown future and it was full of possibility. We lose that, chalk it up to maturing and decide that being practical is more important than happiness. We settle. Or at least half of us do.

I really wouldn’t recommend that half the US quits their jobs and starts a new career. But for those people who want that, who are ready, and feel a need—a real honest to god desire to do something drastically different, then we’re here. It might have started with the make-money onliners or the backpackers or the passive-incomers or the lifestyle redesigners, but slowly it seems to be growing into something else. It’s not a pat “how to be happy” manifesto or some new age philosophy. It’s definitely not one-size fits all. In fact, there is only one rule: do what makes you happy.

Ah, but the details. How do you feed, clothe and shelter oneself during all this happiness? Yes, well, that’s the trick. It’s not easy, at least not in the conventional sense, where easy is going to a job you hate every day, buying things to make yourself feel better, but ultimately feeling the big fat “what now?” instead. That’s easy. This takes a little practice. A few false starts. And once you get there, you might have to do it all over again (like I am now, as my husband and I start our family).

So that’s my goal for 2010. To put my arms around this idea as best I can. To better understand what it means to be a traveler—not just for a summer or a year, but through major life changes. How technology, community and the online space can help us create lifestyles that incorporates all the things we love, removes what’s not working and simplifies in the process. What is the core value that we’re all working towards? Is it more time? Less stress? Increased freedom? Is unplugging enough? Or do you have to fill that space with meaning? And what the heck is meaning anyway?

Two years in, and I’m still figuring it out.

pic: ecstaticist

Download your free copy of 30 Ways in 30 Days to Redesign Your Life and Travel the World HERE! It's a 155 page ebook filled with answers to all of your lifestyle redesign questions. It's free only for Almostfearless.com subscribers for a limited time. (That's you.) Thanks!