A Surviving “Affair”

My husband had four different women in his life for almost a year. Their names were Zsa Zsa, Rachelle, Ava, and Sassy. Sassy was actually only a “one-day stand. “ Most women wouldn’t be tolerant of their husbands having these “affairs.” but I was perfectly content.

My bilateral mastectomy December 11, 2007 was followed by six sessions of chemotherapy from January 4-April 18, 2008. There was little that I was in control of other than my make-up, dress, and hair (or lack of). So, I decided early on that I would be in control of my hair styles by purchasing wigs that took on personalities…

Zsa Zsa was my first wig. Human hair and long like my real hair use to be, I enjoyed pretending to be a beautician since I could style her like my hair only better. I would have Zsa Zsa on her head form and take time to curl the back. I could never see the back of my own hair so this was really a treat. Zsa Zsa was my working professional girl. Since she looked similar to my real hair, I wore her to work for months. I told very few clients of my cancer and chemo treatments so Zsa Zsa pulled off exactly what I needed…my same look only better. Zsa Zsa was thicker and never needed a new color job.

Rachelle was my weekend “spunky” hair do. Synthetic but with the flatiron layered look. As my hairstylist referred to her as “wash and wear,” Rachelle went to dinner and movie dates with my husband more than his other girls!

Ava was short and showed a new look. I received so many compliments on Ava that I was convinced that having a shorter hair style was most flattering and after my hair grew back, I’d keep the “Ava” look. The synthetic simplicity of warm brown with red hi-lights kept its true beauty throughout the summer and early fall.

Sassy was my husband’s “one-day stand.” As a marathon runner, I dealt with the chemo the same as running a marathon with each of my six chemo sessions being 4.3 miles to complete the 26.2 full marathon. When I crossed the “Chemo Marathon Finish Line”, I wore Sassy. She was hot pink and matched my pink stiletto high heels and my hot pink sequined top and tight jeans. As I entered lab and oncology, my husband and I handed each staff and patient a sugar cookie decorated with pink Susan Komen Ribbon sprinkles. I was finishing the “chemo marathon” and crossing the finish line in style!

After I lost my hair, I still continued to shower and shampoo like normal. I would look at my various shampoos, some for volume others for moisture. The few surviving strands deserved the best treatment. I never determined if they were stubborn and persistent or tough and survivors. Respecting those few strands was the least that I could do.

I determined early that being in control of what I could control was what I would do. My hair, make-up and dress were in my control while the chemicals of chemo temporarily took away my body.

My husband’s latest fling is with Ruth (me). My new hair came in silver grey but was back to a “decided brunette” early on. Those other “girls” just don’t stand a chance with a cancer survivor.

1. Ms. Pedicure Smooth Talker: Banish scaly skin on heels and soles with this 2-in-1 callus reducer that takes aim at thick, rough skin with a few easy strokes! There is a coarse side to exfoliate and a fine side for smoothing. Each metal piece detaches from the handle so that you can empty the debris right into the trashcan and easily clean it with no mess. I loved this product and exfoliating is the first step in prepping your feet to look awesome. It’s available at Walgreens and Ulta.

2. Out of Africa Organic Shea Butter: This is a very super thick balm and I mean like the consistency of butter coming out of the refrigerator, but its ingredients are simple: organic shea and essential oil. This product is great if you are really super dry feet and you need a quick hydrating turn around. It is pretty greasy, so I recommend using it at night and slapping on a pair of socks to massage the balm into your feet. You can find it on www.outofafrica.com or on Amazon.com

3. SpaSensials Moisturizing and Deep Conditioning Foot Treatment: I loved the simplicity of these socks that are infused with aloe, jojoba, avocado, and vitamins A, E and B5. You just slip them on and wear them for about 15 minutes. You can walk around in them without fear of falling and when you take the socks off there is no greasy residue. I picked mine up for a huge discount at Marshalls. (I also use their hand treatment gloves.)

4. butter LONDON Holiday Handbag Cuticle Oil: I sing the praises of butter LONDON often and their Holiday Handbag Cuticle Oil not only smells lovely (like coconut rum) it works wonderfully at nourishing your cuticles and nails. LOVE. www.butterLONDON.com

5. Zoya Nail Polish: All you have to do is follow me on Twitter or be a fan of the Facebook fan page and you will know how much I love Zoya. Not only am I madly in love with their Color Lock System for my nails, their polishes seem to last twice as long on my toes. Favorite color right now? Audrina.

So those are my top 5 picks! Have you tried any of them? Are their any other recommendations you can make?

Disclosure

Some or our favorite picks from ULTA include Philosophy’s Raspberry Sorbet Flavored Lip Shine ($12). We love this good-enough-to-at high-shine lip gloss. It will keep your pucker soft and give you a calorie-free taste of raspberry sorbet. It’s dessert time anytime with this lip treatment. If you haven’t tried mineral makeup try out this product is perfect for newbies. The bareMinerals Hydrating Mineral Veil Kit ($29) will quench thirsty skin with a water-based mineral veil that adds a subtle touch of brightness and a translucent finish. Buff it over makeup or a bare face. Benefit Liquid Benetint ($28) is the original tried and true rose-colored cheek and lip tint. It will withstand kisses and is water-proof. The sheer coloring and gives a natural glow that will keep them wondering.

TheFind will be spreading the love this holiday season with lots o’ lovely loot in upcoming giveaways! Don’t miss out on prizes galore now thru the end of the year – join our Facebook Fan Page to be notified of upcoming giveaways throughout the holiday shopping season.

Guest beauty post from my friends at TheFind.

The resealable package comes with 30 wet towelettes and although when you open each towelette it appears soapy looking/feeling, it in no way suds up on your skin or irritates your eyes. In fact, I think my immediate impression when I opened them was the fear that I was going to get soap in my eyes (and childhood memories flooded back into my head.) So I was completely impressed when the cleansing towelettes didn’t sting my eyes, but that it also effectively removed my makeup without any elbow grease involved.

I happened to run out of the towelettes on a day I was heading to CVS for some errands, and although I really liked how they worked, I figured I would pick up a different makeup remover to test out. So I grabbed Rimmel’s Gentle Eye Makeup Remover. Gentle? Yeah, not so much. It stung the heck out of my eyes and you know what I did? After a few tries of Rimmel I went back to CVS and picked up Pond’s.

Pro’s: Affordable price at $5 and change, convenient resealable packaging, no oily residue, didn’t sting my eyes, can easily be packed for travel.

Con’s: I can’t think of any!

You can scoop it up at your local drugstore or drugstore.com.

I found the White Sands Hydrating Shampoo & Conditioner to be pretty good, if not great. I liked the scent of it (very girly, but not overpowering) and the color in my hair has seemed to last longer (I dye it a chestnut brown), which is really important to those of us who color our hair.

The shampoo and conditioner says that the “Color Intelligent ensures protection of color treated hair and neutralizes the oxidative radicals generated by daily UV exposure, sealing in a moisture balance to create instantly shiny and healthy hair without residue or build up.” I can’t say I was overly impressed by its moisture-lock technology because my hair lacked the shine I like to see in it, however as I mentioned before, my hair color seemed to stay intact for a longer duration of time.

Have you tried it? Please share your experience in the comments.

I have straight thick Asian hair that often takes on a life of its own. My shoulder length layered cut looks best with a bit of movement. This stuff really works and adds just the right amount of texture. My hair does not feel heavy or get tangled. One more reason to love Bumble and Bumble Surf Spray, the subtle fragrance doesn’t interfere or overpower my perfume…

To use, spray on freshly washed hair. Work the product through damp or dry hair. Then let it dry naturally or blow-dry with a diffuser. You can also spray, lift and scrunch at the roots. Try to keep your hands off your gorgeous and casually windswept locks, the Surf Spray holds up longer the less you touch it.

Save with Coupon Codes from Fragrance Net from TheFind.com’s new coupon site.

Guest beauty post from my friends at TheFind.

What I didn’t know back then was that this blog would change my life and in so many ways that I could not have ever imagined. I was found and hired by a PR firm because of it, I was hired by b5media to launch and write Makeup Minute (which I only recently resigned from in January and the super fab Dina Fierro took over for me), I became a social media consultant to many awesome beauty brands because of it, I have traveled and been a guest speaker at beauty industry events due to it, have met celebrities, gone to Fashion Week and have met and made some of the most wonderful friends I could ever ask for. The girl who signed up for her Blogspot.com account back in 2005 would have never dreamed that she would be where she is now just from starting a beauty blog.

So this year I decided I would put together a party in New York City to celebrate and what resulted was a rain drenched evening of fabulous friends and some awesome fun to toast 4 years of beauty blogging. And I think you will understand my joy and my love for this blog and all of you, simply by the fact that throughout this video all you see is me smiling and laughing. I don’t think it could’ve been captured any better. That is me, that is my personality and I am so glad that translated beyond the words I could write here…

There are pictures on the Facebook A Girl’s Gotta Spa! fan page, so be sure to check it out! And of course, there always has to be “behind the scenes” scoop to be talked about. I never realized I had the whole Drew Barrymore mouth thing going on when I spoke until I saw this video. Hmm.

Many many thanks to the brands who sponsored this event in order to make it happen!

Title sponsor: Moroccanoil
Sponsors: Lierac, Lisa Hoffman Skin Care, Travertine Spa, Marie Louise Cosmetics, Chella, Sue Devitt, Rodan + Fields.

Thank you to WINK Eyelash for hosting the party, Tawny Ong for her out of this world desserts and Cowgirl Catering for their amazing palette of delicious food! Thank you to my special guests Abiola Abrams, Davide Torchio, Scott Catto and Chad Hayduk. Thank you Nando for being such an amazing friend and sidekick!

But most of all thank you to YOU for sticking with me for 4 years and reading along. From the bottom of my heart, I love you all.

My name is Haralee and 7 years ago when I was 48, I was diagnosed with invasive breast cancer, stage IIB. I went in for a routine mammogram and yearly physical feeling great and came out being told I was very ill. How could I feel fine and be so sick? After I started chemotherapy I felt ill and it was easier to intellectualize that this disease was mine. When I asked my oncologist what I could do to help me feel better, he recommended I visit a naturopathic clinic that specialized in cancer patients. I started acupuncture 2 times a week. This commitment made me feel I was in control of my treatment routine along with conventional treatments…

The treatments threw me into menopause with terrible hot flashes and night sweats. I went from a person who was always cold to someone who did not wear a sweater or coat for 5 years. I had no menopausal symptoms prior to my treatments and all the side effects of menopause hit me like a truck. 5 years ago I started my own business from my experience with breast cancer and menopause, making moisture wicking sleepwear. I am so happy to be able to give back to the breast cancer community and help women get a better night sleep.

When D’Andra Simmons products sent me a 2ml sample of their Hard Night Good Morning Facial Cocktail I read how this aloe-based facial serum supposedly tightens, tones and firms, containing all sorts of register trademarked ingredients with names like “Osilift” and also powerful antioxidants and soothing essential oils. They claimed their formula invigorates ones complexion to reveal “refreshed, beautiful skin and provide and instant glow.”

I tried it. I opened up the packet and put in on my face instead of my normal moisturizer and instantly liked the way it felt on my fingertips. I could tell it was incredibly moisturizing without being oily, and there was enough thickness and elasticity to it for me me to believe it had some tightening capabilities . I put it on my face and my face felt quenched…and yes I did notice a little glow. The real surprise though came at 4pm in the afternoon when I was riding in the passenger seat on a drive with my husband. I pulled down the visor mirror to put on some lipstick and was caught off guard by how nice my face looked. My skin genuinely still held a glow and the “turning 30″ crows feet around my eyes seemed gone all-together.

That is when I thought of the lady with indiscriminate age. So this is their secret…I bet these women who look miraculously timeless as their kids continue on into adulthood, use a product like this. I give Hard Night Good Morning Facial Cocktail two “magically light-hearted and sophisticated” thumbs up. This, of course, is just my initial impressions. A more thorough review would require more than just a 2ml sample size to test. But, the prospects for the product look good.