A Future for Tomorrow

Stephanie Neilson "Nie Nie"

2011-11-14T09:36:00.001-08:00

I'm sure you have heard about Stephanie Neilson's remarkable story before, but her courage and strength has really touched me lately, here is Stephanie's story:

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHDvxPjsm8E)

My favorite line of hers is, "I am not my body"

Yes, our bodies are vitally important for our progression in this life and the next but knowing that we are MORE than our bodies is priceless.

Stephanie's blog: Nie Nie Dialogues
(http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/)

Recapturing Beauty

2011-11-13T12:33:00.000-08:00

I love and participate in the campaign BYU does to encourage women to recapture their true beauty. I found this segment about it and I wanted to share it,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JTdKyP0m4g

This year they have a new calendar of 10 challenges to do. They have a challenge for each day, plus a journal prompt.
Here is a downloadable list of them:
It is amazing!!!
(https://recapturingbeauty.byu.edu/challenge/10daychallengeSM2011.pdf)
Day One: Body Kindness
Day Two: Spiritual Gifts
Day Three: Self Talk
Day Four: Meaningful Compliments
Day Five: Self Expression
Day Six: Media Resilience
Day Seven: Makeup Reflections
Day Eight: Body Love Letter
Day Nine: Supermodels vs. Role ModelsDay Ten: Spread the Love: Social Media
Again, you can download the details to these challenges here

I hope you recapture your TRUE BEAUTY! If you have a teen or pre-teen daughter I think this would be a great project to do together!
I would love to hear about your experience so feel free to leave a comment of e-mail me at afuturefortomorrow@gmail.com

Walk tall, You're a Daughter of God

2011-06-15T21:47:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday in Relief Society a mother and daughter sang this song. It was very touching and sang beautifully. I have heard it before and even sang it as a young woman but had nearly forgotten about it until this week. One verse especially is powerful, I bolded those lyrics below.

I hope you can walk tall because you are a daughter of God today and always.

Walk Tall Your A Daughter Of God

Right now I have a prayer deep within my heart,
A prayer for each of you there is a special part.
That you remember who you are and him who lives above.
Please seek for him and live his way; You'll feel his love.

(chorus)
Walk tall, you're a daughter, a child of God,
Be strong and remember who you are,
Try to understand, you're part of his great plan.
He's closer than you know, Reach up; he'll take your hand.

Long before the time you can remember,
Our Father held you in his arms so tender.
Those loving arms released you as he sent you down to earth.
He said, "My child, I love you. Don't forget your great worth."

(chorus)
Walk tall, you're a daughter, a child of God,
Be strong and remember who you are,
Try to understand, you're part of his great plan.
He's closer than you know, Reach up; he'll take your hand.

This life on earth we knew would not be easy.
At times we lose our way his path we may not see.
But remember always that you are not alone.
He'll take your hand, He loves you! He will guide you home.

(chorus)
Walk tall, you're a daughter, a child of God,
Be strong and remember who you are,
Try to understand, you're part of his great plan.
He's closer than you know, Reach up; he'll take your hand

Inspirational Message

2011-05-27T12:34:00.000-07:00

"We often block our own blessings because we don't feel inherently good enough or smart enough or pretty enough or worthy enough." is just one of the messages I found impactive while watching the Oprah show finale.
I've watched Oprah off and on throughout the years and always found her to be a kind-hearted, generous person with great depth.

I watched her last show this week and discovered that it was full of eternal truths and inspiration. She said, “There is a difference, you know, between thinking you deserve to be happy and knowing you are worthy of happiness.”
How true and powerful that statement is! Read that again, do you feel worthy of happiness? Worthy of success, health, and of blessings?

A few weeks ago in a church meeting the speaker said, "Don't hesitate to take those blessings. They are there for you, reach out and claim them." I think women especially are timid to accept blessings because we feel unworthy of them. Why do we do that to ourselves? Of course we aren't perfect and never will be in this life but we don't have to be perfect to receive all the blessings and gifts our Father in Heaven has for us.

How would you feel if you prepared a special gift for your child and they felt unworthy or undeserving to accept it? That would break my heart. Don't be afraid to reach out and claim your blessings!

Back to the finale of the Oprah show, here is another statement Oprah shared by Dr. Taylor, "Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into this space. " I like this because it acknowledges that we can make decisions and chose the kind of energy we existent to others. She continued by saying, “Nobody but you is responsible for your life. It doesn’t matter what your mama did; it doesn’t matter what your daddy didn’t do. You are responsible for your life. … You are responsible for the energy that you create for yourself, and you’re responsible for the energy that you bring to others.”

Oprah shared another piece of wisdom:"What I knew for sure from this experience with you is that we are all called. Everybody has a calling, and your real job in life is to figure out what that is and get about the business of doing it."

"[A calling] lights you up and it lets you know that you are exactly where you're supposed to be, doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing. And that is what I want for all of you and hope that you will take from this show. To live from the heart of yourself. You have to make a living; I understand that. But you also have to know what sparks the light in you so that you, in your own way, can illuminate the world."I have experienced this feeling every time I've spoken about my book and story, whether it was a small group of students or an auditorium full of women at a convention, I've been overwhelmed with the sense of knowing this is where I am meant to be at this moment.

There were several other concepts worth mentioning (you can read her entire show by clicking here: Oprah Finale ) but the last one I want to mention is about validation.

"...Everybody wants to be heard. They want to know: 'Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you?'It has worked for this platform, and I guarantee you it will work for yours. Try it with your children, your husband, your wife, your boss, your friends. Validate them. 'I see you. I hear you. And what you say matters to me.'"I looked at each of my children's pictures and repeated this for each child. I connected deeper and was more in tune to each one of them afterward. It has made me simply more aware.
Then in an age appropriate way, I have said this to each of them.
As time goes on I'm sure I will need another reminder of this principal so I'm going to make a wall hanging and put one in each child's room with this saying. Then I'm going to explain to them that this is how I and their dad feels, as well has their Father in Heaven.

Feed Your Soul Radio Interview

2011-05-20T13:29:00.000-07:00

This is an interview I will never forget! I was a guest on the radio show called Feed Your Soul hosted by Irma Haggith on May 17th.
It was an evening show out of Ontario Canada.

Ironically, during the days prior to the interview I was wondering, how I could make this interview different and interesting. I've done many interviews and I was trying to think of a different angle or new information to share. Well, this interview definitely was different!
Since the interview was out of Canada I called in to the show instead of actually being in the studio like I have done for local stations. I've called in to several other interview shows this way and they went perfectly.
This time however we had technical difficultly. For some reason the show's switch boards were not recognizing me or anyone calling in. I could hear the hostess but she couldn't hear me. Luckily, there is a function with this type of radio show where the listeners can chat and type in their questions or comments during the interview. I was able to log on to that web page. From there, the hostess spoke and asked me questions and I typed my answers which she read and shared with the listeners. Wow, what an experience! I couldn't share as much information this way but nevertheless we were able to complete our interview and hopefully shed some light on eating disorders and my book.

After a few chuckles between the hostess and myself (what else could we do) I was invited back for another time.

I think Irma (the hostess) did a wonderful job relaying the information and filling in the space so there was no dead air.

Here is the link to listen to our improvised interview: Feed Your Soul

Live Radio Interview

2011-05-16T09:57:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow evening at 6:00 (MST) I will be interviewed live by Irma Haggith "Lab Lady" on her show FEED YOUR SOUL. You can listen to it on your computer just by clicking on the link below.

Live Radio Show Link

You can call in with your questions or comments and be apart of the live show! Here is the number
(714) 583-6824

After the show you can still hear the interview anytime by using the same link. (interview link)

OWN Addicted to Food

2011-04-12T13:43:00.000-07:00

I was contacted by a representative on behalf of OWN: Oprah Winfrey Network to let me know about the new series Addicted To Food. They were interested in my feedback and also encouraged me to help spread the word about this show since they were aware of what I do.

I actually saw previews for this series and had already set my dvr to record it. I’m interested because as we know eating disorders, no matter at what end of the spectrum they are, (compulsive eating or anorexia) they have many of the same underlying causes and treatment is often the same.

Here is a little info about the show:

Addicted To Food follows eight people with eating disorders as they struggle through an intense 42-day treatment plan led by unconventional therapist Tennie McCarty. Follow their joys and pain as they battle against addiction and create hope for their future.

Addicted To Food first episodes airs tonight, Tuesday April 12th, at both 7:00 and 8:00 MST. I have Direct TV so it is on channel 279 for me.

There will be a live chat with Tennie at http://www.oprah.com/own during tonight’s show. I'm planning on participating.

You can watch the first episode online at: http://www.oprah.com/own-addicted-to-food/Addicted-to-Food-Welcome-to-Treatment-FULL-EPISODE or learn more about the show at http://www.oprah.com/addictedtofood.

Good Things Utah Segment!

2011-04-05T18:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning, April 4th, 2011, I was on Good Things Utah! It was an amazing experience. The ladies were kind and made me feel right at ease.

I've been overwhelmed with all the positive feedback, book orders, facebook comments, letters, phone calls, speaking invitations, and simply put the love and support from all of you. Thank you so much! It has meant the world to me.

If you missed it here is my segment!

You can help me share my story by going on the Good Things Utah site and click the "recommend" button.

Here I am at the ABC studio.

Here is part of the GTU set with Nicea doing a cooking segment.

I'm getting my mic placed in this photo.

I'm talking to the Ladies of GTU here during the commercial break. I felt like I could visit them all day!

Special Discount:
I announced on the show about the discount going on now, the deal continues until Friday and free shipping ends tonight at midnight. Hope you take advantage of this deal!

Good Things Utah!

2011-04-02T18:52:00.000-07:00

Ever since I knew I was going to pursue writing a book I imagined one day being on the studios of ABC4 Good Things Utah telling about my story and book.

Guess what!?!?!?

I'm scheduled to be on Good Things Utah this coming Monday, April 4th!!!!!! Show airs on ABC4 at 10:00 Live!

In just two days one of my dreams will come true! I'm elated for this opportunity to share my information with the their large audience. I can't wait to meet the ladies and hopefully help viewers.

Of course I will be posting all about it so don't forget to pop back in here after Monday. I know my segment will also be available on their website after the show.

http://www.abc4.com/content/about_4/gtu/default.aspx

I don't know for sure their ticket availability but I do know they have a live audience and here is the link to get your tickets, I believe they are FREE. It would great seeing you there! (Their studio is in Salt Lake City)

http://www.abc4.com/content/about_4/gtu/audience/default.aspx

Good Things Utah Special!

I am offering a discount price of my book next week's weekdays in celebration of this TV opportunity (Monday April 4th - Friday April 9th.)

I am also offering free shipping for 24 hours after my segment airs. (Monday April 4th at 10:00 - Tues. April 5th at 11:00)

Don't miss out on this opportunity to get a signed copy of A Future for Tomorrow for this one time offer!

Orders have to be placed from http://www.afuturefortomorrow.com/purchase.html

Beautiful, Valiant Spirits

2011-03-25T13:32:00.000-07:00

Beautiful and valiant are the two words that come to mind when describing the young women I spoke to this week at a Stake Fireside in Pleasant Grove.

What amazingly strong young women we have in these days. As I spoke to the chapel full of their beaming faces I felt the overwhelming love their Father in Heaven has for them. The sad part is seeing how few of them knew it.

My presentations change a bit depending on the event, however when speaking to women of any age I always feel the impression that these daughters need to be reminded of their divine worth, inner beauty, and the power in knowing that they're daughters of the most powerful God.

No doubt Satan knows his greatest tool in keeping these young women and us from actually completing our sacred mission on earth is keeping us blinded to the fact that we are deeply loved spiritual daughters with infinite worth and potential.
Think of that, literally we cannot fulfill our purpose, or mission, part of our reason for this existence on Earth if Satan can destroy our self-worth. He can halt our service to others, and our personal growth with this one tool.
Wednesday I shared quotes such as the quote I have as my blog header above and this one:

“As daughters of God, you cannot imagine the divine potential within each of you.
Being a daughter of God means that if you seek it, you can find your true identity. You will know who you are. This will make you free—not free from restraints, but free from doubts, anxieties, or peer pressure. You will not need to worry, “Do I look all right?” “Do I sound OK?” “What do people think of me?” A conviction that you are a daughter of God gives you a feeling of comfort in your self-worth. It means that you can find strength in the balm of Christ. It will help you meet the heartaches and challenges with faith and serenity.” --- James. E. Faust

As I spoke I saw many girls squirm in their seats as I told them how beautiful and amazing they were.
I saw girls uncomfortably ducking as if saying "that doesn't apply me, my worth is not great. I am not beautiful."
I get it. I was once there and still need to be reminded at times that I'm good enough, and loved.
I too need to rise above such feelings at times, but how grateful I am that the debilitating low self-esteem is something I have left behind forever.
I pray the girls and women I speak to will feel their worth and commit to sustaining and cultivating this truth.

Wonderfully, on Wednesday night there were many that have internalized these principals and radiated with this conviction.
But seeing the few that battled to accept their self broke my heart. I imagined how it must feel for our Father and Mother in Heaven watching their children be oblivious to and even denying their great value.

What can we do?
There are several things as individuals we can do to feel our worth and things we can do to help our children.
Of course I am always saying start with yourself! If you have a good self-esteem that will flow to your children.
Today I would like to stick to one challenge that I extended to the young women at the fireside, simply pray to know your worth, pray to feel His love for you.
I know our Father in Heaven will answer your sincere prayers.

Divine Light Within Radio

2011-03-08T18:35:00.000-08:00

This Thursday morning I'm going to be interviewed on the radio show called Divine Light Within with hostess Bonnie Ross. It airs live at 9:00 (MST) and can be heard any time afterword. It is another interview out of Canada which is always exciting.

Hostess Bonnie Ross.
If you want to learn more about her and what she does feel free to visit her site http://www.bonnieross.com/.

TO LISTEN:
The interview can be heard on your computer just click on the link below and it should take you right to it.
Divine Light Within Radio with Author Haley Hatch Freeman

CALL IN:
You are welcome to call in during the live interview with your comments or questions, here is the number:
914-338-1245

Parents say the Dumbest Things

2011-03-07T21:56:00.000-08:00

I'm really frustrated with the dumb things parents say that leave a lasting scar on their children. I have received countless letters, phone calls, e-mails. ect... from people all over the world and everyone without fail will mention some comment, usually said by a father, that hurt them deeply and ended up being one of the triggers for their eating disorder.

I've mentioned this in my book and I often tell this in my interviews, but as a teen I picked up the message from my dad that being heavier was not ok. I saw his looks of disapproval when someone had seconds on desert, and heard comments like, "do you really need that." It was nothing extreme but enough to add to my triggers of having anorexia.
I tend to think most the comments are made in ignorance by a parent or loved one not realizing how sensitive someone with an eating disorder (or tendency toward one) is.

That is why I'm doing this post. Awareness is power when it comes to eating disorders.

A sad thing is I have talked to several girls who have relapsed because of a comment. The comment, "You are filling out nicely," can have good intentions behind it but to someone battling with anorexia she hears "you are getting fat." And this can cause a relapse.

The best thing to do if you have a family member with an eating disorder is not make physically comments at all. It's too bad but true with any physical comment, even one meant as a compliment, someone with an eating disorder or who are self conscious about themselves will always twist it in their mind to be a negative comment. You really can't win so just steer away from physical remarks.
Often it doesn't even have to be an actual comment but body language, or a message sent unintentionally.
Another comment that really drives me crazy is when someone says, " I wish I had an eating disorder for a little while" as they pat their belly implying they could use it as a "tool" to loose weight.
I'm just asking first of all, be aware of comments you tell your children about their weight and food. You never know which comment will stick with them and cause problems down the road.
Second, be sensitive. Obvious comments about food, appearance, and diets are something my associates and myself are extra sensitive to but being aware and in control of your words could really help prevent heartache for those around you.

Barnes and Noble. com

2011-01-25T13:48:00.000-08:00

My book A Future for Tomorrow is now available through Barnes and Noble. Here is the link:
A Future for Tomorrow at Barnes and Noble

I just noticed that you can "like" the link for facebook so if you have a second feel free to pop in and "like" my book at Barnes and Noble or even leave a rating or review! Thanks!

New Discount Price for Breakthrough Women's Conference

2011-01-03T13:16:00.000-08:00

The audio of Breakthrough: Peace with Food, Peace with your Body is now only 9.95
(the conference was a $40 event)

I speak along with several other remarkable ladies about women's relationship with food, self-acceptance, spiritual connection with nutrition, and more. This audio includes the entire day long convention filled with life changing presentations and breathtaking musical performances.

Purchase now by clicking on button below

Don't forget the bundle deal still available you get both a signed copy of A Future for Tomorrow and the audio of Breakthrough for a great price!

Break Through Audio and A Future for Tomorrow Book Bundle Deal Button below

($22.95)

or you can contact me at afuturefortomorrow@gmail.com

Healing Hearts, Live Radio Interview

2010-12-21T12:13:00.000-08:00

I'm excited to be interviewed by Elizabeth Cuckson this Thurs. Dec. 23rd at 11:00 MST. You can listen live or at your convenience any time afterward by going to the Healing Hearts Radio link.

We will be discussing my story and book, A Future for Tomorrow, self-worth, media messages, along with tips for parents to help them create a healthy relationship with food for their children, and more.

During the interview you can call in your questions or comments at this number: (626) 213-5697.

This interview will be out of Colorado.

Here is a little info about the radio hostess

Elizabeth Cuckson: Radio Host, Motivational Speaker and Spiritual Life Coach

Elizabeth Cuckson is known for her loving guidance in helping people let go of the past and creating their hearts desire. She hosts a radio show on this topic called "Healing Hearts". Elizabeth is a Motivational Speaker and Spiritual Life Coach who offers a unique and authentic way of coaching based on real life experiences.

I have been impressed with Elizabeth and look forward to talking to her. She barely returned from Vietnam doing charity work with schools and orphanages there. I love the pictures she posted on facebook about her trip.

I hope you join our chat this Thursday, at 11:00 a.m !

Website: http://www.elizabethcuckson.com/

Radio Website: www.blogtalkradio.com/elizabethcuckson
Testimonials: www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eo7WAvNw1Y
Join Elizabeth on her Facebook Fan page: www.facebook.com/ElizabethCucksonFans?ref=ts

My daughter is struggling with self-esteem, what can I do?

2010-12-20T13:13:00.000-08:00

This post is about an e-mail I received from my good friend Karen Eddington. She is the founder of the Cauliflower Retreat which I have mentioned several times. You also can get on her mailing list to get these great self-esteem tips, updates, and online training content. Just go to their home page http://www.selfworthretreat.com/ website (also cauliflowerretreat.com or org)

"It is common theme I hear over and over. "My daughter is struggling with self-esteem. What can I do?" "My students are so worried about fitting in, how can I get through to them?" "I have a friend who is really struggling to find confidence. Is there something I can do to help her?" "I don't even know who I am anymore."

After ten years of researching these issues, doing outreach work across the state of Utah, and presenting on self-worth topics on a national level, I have started to see some common solutions that need to be made more available as a prevention medium. Here are some quick examples how we can think and act more positively about self-worth:

Recognize there is a principle of choice, accountability, and action when it comes to developing self-confidence.

Understand the difference between self-worth, self-esteem and potential. We need to educate our families, students, and loved ones that self-worth is already established. Our value as a person is not conditional. If we are looking to outside sources to define how important we are, the perception of our worth (our self-esteem-- ah, see the difference) is limited to that same exterior source.

We don't one day, unexplainably, "find" ourselves. We can however create ourselves.

Developing self-confidence is explainable. High self-esteem is not just magically bestowed upon a lucky few people. A high self-esteem comes from developing skills, implementing knowledge and building awareness.

Participate Now Program to Teach Self-Worth Skills

We shouldn't have to wait for a tragedy, a therapy session, or have to blindly struggle to learn these techniques and skills. It is time for these resources to be widely shared in order to help our everyday women and teens. We have an exciting announcement for you. Alongside Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Cory Eddington (he is also the same guy who asked me to marry him nine years ago) we have created prevention tools that can be easily shared with you, without you having to make the drive to visit our outreach center.

Over the coming months we are making available MP3 audio files, e-workbooks, and other educational tools that you can access instantly online. Due to your high demand we are making these programs as accessible as possible.

To watch our recent KSL Studio 5 "Self-Worth Starts at Home" TV interview link here

The next tool we are sharing is on Thinking Errors. This is a BIG concept because not very many people know about them. Yet, we all tend to fall into the thinking error trap. Hope you will enjoy the upcoming free audio.

We will be in touch again soon. We look forward to sharing these skills with you!

All the best,

Karen Eddington

Cauliflower Retreat Self-Worth Outreach Center Program Found"

Again,
You also can get on their mailing list for the online training content. Just go to their home page http://www.selfworthretreat.com/ website (also cauliflowerretreat.com or org)

I just want to add my thoughts on how to help your daughters have good self-esteem-- start with yourself. Emulate what it means to love yourself and have a good self-esteem. Also NEVER let her hear you put yourself down. Not only does she see the same traits that you are putting down in herself but she learns how to act as a woman from you.

Assignment:
If you have a habit of putting yourself down in front of your children, stop. My challenge is to catch yourself and stop the words, sighs, and other self-deprecating expressions in front of your daughters.
Next step is to stop them in your own mind and replace them with a positive thoughts about yourself.
Incorporate what Karen mentioned about there being choice behind having a good self-esteem. CHOOSE to improve your own perception of yourself.

Recording Available of Breakthrough: Peace with Food, Peace with your Body Women's Conference

2010-12-02T21:21:00.000-08:00

I'm excited to release the recording of Breakthrough: Peace with Food, Peace with your Body Women's Conference which I spoke at.

The presentations were powerful and life changing
The musical performances were touching and simply beautiful. I am so thrilled to share this conference with you!

The recording includes the following presentations:

Cherie Burton "Nourish Thyself: The Divine Stewardship over Your Physical Temple"

Jarah Christensen "Eating From the Soul"

Haley Freeman "Starving to LIFE"

Jen Marco Handy - Musical Presentation with presentation

Annette Mease “Unlock the Door to Your Brilliance”

Mia Magistro "Breaking Free of Unhealthy Food Obsession and Addiction" (includes musical presentation)

Steffanie England "The Power of Food to Heal and to Harm"

Jessie Clark Funk “Own Your Life” (includes musical presentation)

Since I'm a visual person my presentations are largely visual as well. That is why when you purchase the recording through me I will include pictures and video links so you can experience my presentation completely.

The convention's ticket admission price was between $30-40. The price for the recording is only 12.99!!

To save resources and for your convenience the recording and related information will be sent straight to your computer.

You can order this women's convention now! Just click below on the BUY NOW button to get started.

(If demand is adequate a cd will be made available)

SPECIAL PACKAGE DEAL

I am offering a special bundle price for ordering both my book A Future for Tomorrow (copies are signed) and the recording download of the Breakthrough women's conference.
For only 22.95 (regularly 29.94 for both, savings of almost $7.00)
Click below for savings!

Getting Through the Holidays with an Eating Disorder

2010-11-23T23:35:00.000-08:00

I work with several girls and women all over the world as a mentor. I try to give them hope and support through their eating disorder. This week I have had many come to me with fears about Thanksgiving.
Here is an article that I hope can be helpful. The writer has gathered several tips from different sources. Here are some, for full tips and more info you can follow the links from the article.

Getting Through the Holidays When you have an ED by By Margarita Tartakovsky, MS

Eat regularly and in some kind of reasonable pattern. Avoid “preparing for the last supper.” Don’t skip meals and starve in attempt to make up for what you recently ate or are about to eat. Keep a regular and moderate pattern.

Worry more about the size of your heart than the size of your hips! It is the holiday season, a great time to reflect, enjoy relationships with loved ones, and most importantly a time to feel gratitude for blessings received and a time to give back through loving service to others.

Have a well thought out game plan before you go home or invite others into your home. Know “where the exits are,” where your support persons are, and how you’ll know when it’s time to make a brief exit and get connected with needed support.

Write down your vision of where you would like your mind and heart to be during this holiday time with loved ones. Take time, several times per day, to find a quiet place to become in tune again with your vision, to remember, to nurture, and to center yourself into those thoughts, feelings, and actions which are congruent with your vision for yourself.

Remember that there are no “good” or “bad” foods, even at a holiday meal, but be prepared for others to make comments about food, weight gain/loss and diets during holiday gatherings. Decide how you will respond if this happens. A range of responses could include a silent mantra that you say to yourself in your head or a public comment that educates others about normal eating and positive body image. Ask yourself which type of response will be most beneficial for your own personal well-being and use that as a guide.
When it’s time for the meal, try to sit near people with whom you feel comfortable and supported. If this isn’t possible, try to avoid sitting directly by those who will make the meal more challenging.

Don’t leave home without your toolbox - If you’ve established coping skills that work when you’re feeling overwhelmed or having thoughts of acting on your eating disorder – be sure to pack a travel-friendly version! If writing in your journal or listening to a special playlist on your iPod helps you, then throw them in the suitcase! This will also help to maintain some normalcy during the hectic holiday schedule.

Don’t forget to breathe! - This may sound simple, but it is sound advice. Breathing affects the whole body. When you take a few seconds to breathe slowly and deeply, even in a stressful situation, you can actually produce a state of relaxation. Try the following:
• Sit as tall as possible with your feet flat on the floor, and try to take your mind off of the stressful situation or activities around you.
• Take a slow, deep breath in (your stomach should expand as it fills with air)while counting to three.
• Hold your breath for a count of three.
• Exhale slowly (your stomach should contract) while counting to three.
• Repeat this whole sequence three times.
Now check in with yourself. Are you feeling a little better? If so, return to the activity around you. If not, take a little more time out to repeat the process or try another one of the coping skills listed above.

For people with binge eating disorder or bulimia, it can be difficult to survey the holiday feast knowing that you can easily eat it all twice over and then some. If you struggle with intuitive eating and are concerned about taking unnaturally large portion sizes, take cues from the serving sizes of others around you. Don’t make any food off-limits and don’t eat alone.

If you struggle with binging types of disorders, distract yourself after eating so that you’ll be less likely to purge. Check out my more general tips on how to reduce binging urges here.

The holidays are a time to catch up with friends and family you don’t see often and reunions can sometimes invite comments on your appearance, especially if it’s notably different. Again, changing the subject or walking away usually works, as does speaking up — “You’re making me feel very self-conscious. Please stop.” Sometimes the comments are well-intentioned, in which case assuaging the worries of your loved ones can quell concerns and comments — “I’m working with a professional to better improve my health. Thanks for the concern.” For people on the opposite end of the weight spectrum, even loved ones can be cruel in pointing out weight gain. Humor is a great way to diffuse an awkward and tension-filled moment, so be sure to check out these clever quips from Joy Nash. And don’t be afraid to be honest — “Wow, that was a rude comment.”

Let go of perfection – as best as you can. There’s no such thing as the perfect present. I struggle with being an imperfect perfectionist a lot. Which usually means that I procrastinate and end up getting stressed along the way. Sure, it’s only a few days till Christmas, but if you don’t have that perfect present, decor, outfit, or whatever, give yourself permission to be imperfect. Welcome flexibility, even with baby steps.

Be kind to yourself. You know that holidays are a struggle for you and you’ll do the best you can. Whatever you do this holiday season, let it come from a place of kindness and self-acceptance. Accept that whatever plan you have in place, you may still get stressed or have anxiety around food and certain family members. Just acknowledge that you’re trying and be proud of yourself for that. Remember to take care of yourself and your needs, too, instead of getting lost in the hustle and bustle. If that means taking ten minutes to do some yoga poses, write in your journal, take a longer shower or call a friend for support, go for it. And remember to enjoy yourself, as well.

Ok, it's me talking again. =0) I want to leave a message of hope. I know you can get through the holidays and eventually leave your ed behind forever. I promise there is a life full of joy waiting for you!

Happy Thanksgiving and best wishes!

My Canada Interview

2010-11-12T22:24:00.000-08:00

It was a great experience being on the show Get Inspired Radio with Sue London this week. If you missed the live interview you can still listen to it! Here is the link Surviving Anorexia with Guest Haley Hatch Freeman

Live Radio Show - You can call in!

2010-11-09T10:46:00.000-08:00

Wed. Nov 10th at 9:00 am I am going to be on a live radio show where you can call into the studio and ask me or the host questions. The radio station is Get Inspired Radio out of Canada. I'm excited to do my first international interview!
Here is what you need to know.

Sue London & GET INSPIRED RADIO presents...

Surviving Anorexia

with radio guest Haley Hatch Freeman

November 10th

9:00 am MST (11:00 am EST)

www.blogtalkradio.com/life-coach-sue

Haley Hatch Freeman is the author of A Future for Tomorrow which tells her remarkable true story of enduring and overcoming anorexia it also details miracles along the way.

She is an expert on women’s relationships with food, self-worth, media messages, true beauty and other eating behaviors.

Haley is an active public speaker, presenting at conventions, schools, church groups, retreats, and more.

She has been interviewed on TV and several radio shows.

Her story has been featured in national publications and her book is available worldwide. To learn more a about Haley and her book A Future for Tomorrow please visit : http://www.afuturefortomorrow.com// Tune into http://www.blogtalkradio.com/life-coach-sue at 9:00 am MST (11:00 am EST) and get inspired! Phone your questions in to (646) 929-0076 and press 1 to speak to the host during the live show. Chat lines open during the show. Can't make the live show? Tune into the archived segment and listen at your convenience.This show will also be found archived on iTunes podcasts.

Karen Eddington on Studio 5

2010-10-31T13:01:00.000-07:00

I was so excited to see Karen on Studio 5 this week. You might remember me mentioning her before. I was able to speak at her self-esteem outreach retreat this summer. Click here to read my post about that event.

Karen is also behind The Book of Positive Messages. It was an honor for my story to be featured in her book. Click here for more info about The Book of Positive Messages.

This is what Sudio 5 posted about her:
Karen Eddington is the founder and owner of Cauliflower Retreat, self-worth outreach program for everyday women and teens. She shares tips to help every parent build self-worth within the home

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Each of us faces pressures. Sometimes pressures and challenges can cause us to question ourselves. No matter if you're a mother, aunt, sister, or father you can play a vital role in establishing self-confidence within a family. The home is the place where we grow up, the people we live with, and it is the foundation for our values. No matter what circumstances you are in, your example and influence within the home matters.

1. Teach the stable nature of self-worth: Contrary to all the messages we see, our value as a person is constant. Sometimes we feel like we lose value if we get cut from the dance team, gain weight, or don't have an income. Sometimes we feel like we gain value if we have a makeover, lose weight, or are offer a position of important. Self-Worth is always there. Our self-esteem, which is our perception of our value, is often what changes. Teaching the constant nature of worth can help bring a feeling of security.

2. Recognize and replace thinking errors: A thinking error is a thought we may dwell on that is restrictive or false. For example, "Nobody likes me." When we have a thinking error we are often overlooking other facts or positive factors. The moment you catch yourself thinking restrictively, stop, and replace the false statement with something you know to be true. "Yes, people do like me. My mom likes me. The girl in my math class likes me." You can help those in your home to recognize and replace thinking errors. Here are a few more examples of thinking errors: "I have no talents." "I'm a bad mother." "I never win anything."

3. Don't find yourself, create yourself: There are times in life we feel lost. We may have heard or used the expression, "I've got to find out who I am." Part of living is growing. We won't just wake-up one day and find ourselves, rather ever moment of our lives is about creating ourselves. Our identity is about choices and being accountable for our choices. If someone in your home is feeling lost in terms of their identity help them discover things they look forward to, goals they are working on, and work they can engage in.

4. Bring out the best in each other: Take time to look for the good in each other. Treat one another as the person we can become. As families spend a lot of time together, it can be easy to get hung up on our bad habits, focus on tendencies, and label one another. Example: "Mary is shy, Ryan is athletic, or Kim is talkative." Yes, it is good to share affirmations when someone does something good, but don't limit one another. Even if someone in your family is shy, don't keep dwelling on that label. Treat one another as we can become.

5. Be the refuge: You can create a safe environment, through communication, love and support. Especially amid times of struggle, be there to talk, listen and love one another. Make an effort to know what is going on with each person in your home. Take time to learn their hopes, fears, and goals. Ask questions so you understand the best and worst parts of their day. Create that atmosphere of love and safety.

I LOVE these tips! Thanks Karen. To learn more about her and her retreat click here.

"My Gift to You" by Lori Nawyn

2010-10-30T12:00:00.000-07:00

My friend Lori has a new book out that I am honored to spotlight. She is a remarkable woman with so many talents, including illustrating and writing. This is her first published novel and I'm thrilled for her!

Here is the info from the back of her book:
Trish Ingram works hard to maintain the perfect suburban household—or, at least, the appearance of one. By managing her outer world with lavish attention and rigid control, she’s able to ignore and conceal the darkness of her inner world, which is plagued by traumatic childhood memories of loss. Her terminally ill sister-in-law, Jamie, sees through the façade and reaches out in love to Trish, inspiring her to seek a more meaningful life and a more authentic self. But the childhood scars run deep, and despite Trish’s best efforts, she’s unable to be the wife and mother her family needs.
Devastated by the departure of her husband and daughter, Trish faces the challenge and opportunity of a lifetime. She desires to move forward in faith, but this desire alone cannot mend her family's shattered trust. The hollow realm of denial and fear has been her safe haven. To confront pain and transcend the shadows of her past will require a level of courage she’s not sure she possesses. This gripping story of familial love and conflict tenderly reminds us that forgiveness—of self, and others—is both a difficult choice and a precious gift.

Here is a little about the author (love her!)

Lori Nawyn's award-winning writing has appeared in regional and national publications including Outside Bozeman, Segullah, Deseret News, CraziBeautiful Women, and Latter-Day Woman. She is also a columnist for her local paper and a former member of Utah Press Women. One of her short stories was published in the anthology Stolen Christmas. Her first novel, My Gift to You, was released in October 2010.

Lori is currently writing her next novel, Day, about a mother’s relationship with her son. She works as a freelance artist and is the illustrator of the award-winning children's picture book What Are You Thinking? which was released in July 2010 by ThoughtsAlive Publishing. She and her fireman husband live in northern Utah where they enjoy spending time with their four children and two granddaughters, plus an assortment of dogs, rabbits, and chickens.

This is what Lori says about why she wrote this book:
“My Gift to You” is about forgiving ourselves, despite what we perceive as our shortcomings.

When we judge ourselves as less than acceptable for any reason, small mistakes can cripple us with discouragement. It becomes easy to lose sight of our potential, as well as precious opportunities for growth.

I was an only child with ample time to ponder the intricacies of human behavior. At a young age, I became fascinated by the fact that while several people in my life were happy, upbeat, and in possession of inner peace in most if not all circumstances, some seemed inherently unhappy no matter what happened—good or bad. Money and possessions didn’t seem to have a bearing, and I wondered what did.

Though I’d been baptized when I was eight, my family didn’t attend church. If I wanted to go, I had to attend on my own. It took me a while to grasp gospel concepts, and I found that most of the time I was among those who were unhappy. About twenty years ago I decided to stop asking Why me? and instead start asking What if?

One by one, I replaced negative emotions with those of a positive nature. Instead of wondering why I couldn't make everyone around me happy—and becoming despondent because nothing I did seemed to change them or their opinions—I started asking things like, "What if happiness really is a choice? What if it can be my choice, no matter what anyone else thinks or feels?"

Instead of commiserating over why my extended family couldn't accept me for who I was and what I believed in, I asked myself, "What if I could choose my own thoughts and emotions based on what I know in my heart is right and true?" In short, "What if I accept myself for who I am?"

And, "What if I forgive—knowing that forgiveness doesn't mean acceptance?"

When I began writing “My Gift to You,” I decided I wanted my main character, Trish, to discover something important about herself: I wanted her to discover her own inner strengths and worth—much like I had when I began to unravel my own life.

Click here to buy her book from Deseret Book

I think this sounds like a beautiful book and I look forward to reading it.

My Challenge

Lori shares some powerful points above. I also believe we can choose our emotions. Today I would like to challenge you to choose to be happy, content, and to feel at peace. Make choices throughout the day that will help make your choice for happiness easier.

Then try it tomorrow and the next day. With conscious effort, try to focus on what you are feeling and choose to feel how you want to for the rest of the week.

Intuitive eating

2010-10-27T22:53:00.000-07:00

At the Women's Conference I spoke at last week I touched some on the concepts behind intuitive eating but I didn't have the time to go into it.
I want to first explain what it is, this is the statement on Intuitive Eating.org:

"Intuitive eating is an approach that teaches you how to create a healthy relationship with your food, mind, and body--where you ultimately become the expert of your own body. You learn how to distinguish between physical and emotional feelings, and gain a sense of body wisdom. It's also a process of making peace with food---so that you no longer have constant "food worry" thoughts. It's knowing that your health and your worth as a person does not change because you ate a so-called "bad" or "fattening" food."

When I started counseling for anorexia after I left the hospital my counselor said he was going to use the same treatment for me as he would a person who weighed 400 pounds struggling with food addictions.
I learned then that overeating or under eating is caused by the same underlining issues.

At that time he introduced a little bit of the concept behind intuitive eating but it wasn't called that. He focused on trusting your body and trying to get me to learn to connect to my bodies needs again. (Also he helped me begin to work out the underlining issues which is key to recovery on the emotional end.)

I then started using the intuitive eating methods without even knowing it by just doing what I discovered was and wasn't working for me. For example I noticed I actually LOST weight during the HOLIDAYS! After a year or two of this happening I finally connected that it was because I gave myself complete permission to eat whatever I wanted because "it was the holidays" and eating certain treats was part of the celebration. I didn't deprive myself of anything and so naturally I was listening to my body more. I found myself wanting less because there were no "forbidden" foods or amounts. I later learned this is the major concept behind intuitive eating - banning nothing. It really does keep you from obsessing.
For instants if I told you that you could eat anything you want for the next week except for blueberry muffins, guess what will happen? You will crave and obsess over blueberry muffins!!!
Restricting leads to obsessing, then eventually when you do "give in" it usually leads to binging, then feelings of guilt, then the cycle often starts over again.

Then I took a course at college about eating behaviors and the principals were taught as a healthy way to create a better relationship with food. I really grabbed hold of it then, like I said before, I never heard the actual term intuitive eating until recently but people were learning the truth behind these principals then, and they do work and did for me.

Why intuitive eating? Because diets don't work!
95 Percent of Dieters Regain Weight Within 1 to 5 Years (-Tom at RealSelf on Jul 2, 2009)

Here is a summary of the 10 principles of Intuitive Eating, from the book, Intuitive Eating, 2nd ed, 2003.
by Evelyn Tribole, MS, RD and Elyse Resch, MS, RD, FADA

Intuitive Eating Principles
1. Reject the Diet Mentality Throw out the diet books and magazine articles that offer you false hope of losing weight quickly, easily, and permanently. Get angry at the lies that have led you to feel as if you were a failure every time a new diet stopped working and you gained back all of the weight. If you allow even one small hope to linger that a new and better diet might be lurking around the corner, it will prevent you from being free to rediscover Intuitive Eating.

2. Honor Your Hunger Keep your body biologically fed with adequate energy and carbohydrates. Otherwise you can trigger a primal drive to overeat. Once you reach the moment of excessive hunger, all intentions of moderate, conscious eating are fleeting and irrelevant. Learning to honor this first biological signal sets the stage for re-building trust with yourself and food.

3. Make Peace with Food Call a truce, stop the food fight! Give yourself unconditional permission to eat. If you tell yourself that you can't or shouldn't have a particular food, it can lead to intense feelings of deprivation that build into uncontrollable cravings and, often, bingeing When you finally “give-in” to your forbidden food, eating will be experienced with such intensity, it usually results in Last Supper overeating, and overwhelming guilt.

4. Challenge the Food Police .Scream a loud "NO" to thoughts in your head that declare you're "good" for eating under 1000 calories or "bad" because you ate a piece of chocolate cake. The Food Police monitor the unreasonable rules that dieting has created . The police station is housed deep in your psyche, and its loud speaker shouts negative barbs, hopeless phrases, and guilt-provoking indictments. Chasing the Food Police away is a critical step in returning to Intuitive Eating.

5. Respect Your Fullness Listen for the body signals that tell you that you are no longer hungry. Observe the signs that show that you're comfortably full. Pause in the middle of a meal or food and ask yourself how the food tastes, and what is your current fullness level?

6. Discover the Satisfaction Factor The Japanese have the wisdom to promote pleasure as one of their goals of healthy living In our fury to be thin and healthy, we often overlook one of the most basic gifts of existence--the pleasure and satisfaction that can be found in the eating experience. When you eat what you really want, in an environment that is inviting and conducive, the pleasure you derive will be a powerful force in helping you feel satisfied and content. By providing this experience for yourself, you will find that it takes much less food to decide you've had "enough".

7. Honor Your Feelings Without Using Food Find ways to comfort , nurture, distract, and resolve your issues without using food. Anxiety, loneliness, boredom, anger are emotions we all experience throughout life. Each has its own trigger, and each has its own appeasement. Food won't fix any of these feelings. It may comfort for the short term, distract from the pain, or even numb you into a food hangover. But food won't solve the problem. If anything, eating for an emotional hunger will only make you feel worse in the long run. You'll ultimately have to deal with the source of the emotion, as well as the discomfort of overeating.

8. Respect Your Body Accept your genetic blueprint. Just as a person with a shoe size of eight would not expect to realistically squeeze into a size six, it is equally as futile (and uncomfortable) to have the same expectation with body size. But mostly, respect your body, so you can feel better about who you are. It's hard to reject the diet mentality if you are unrealistic and overly critical about your body shape.

9. Exercise--Feel the Difference Forget militant exercise. Just get active and feel the difference. Shift your focus to how it feels to move your body, rather than the calorie burning effect of exercise. If you focus on how you feel from working out, such as energized, it can make the difference between rolling out of bed for a brisk morning walk or hitting the snooze alarm. If when you wake up, your only goal is to lose weight, it's usually not a motivating factor in that moment of time.

10 Honor Your Health--Gentle Nutrition Make food choices that honor your health and taste buds while making you feel well. Remember that you don't have to eat a perfect diet to be healthy. You will not suddenly get a nutrient deficiency or gain weight from one snack, one meal, or one day of eating. It's what you eat consistently over time that matters, progress not perfection is what counts.

Challenge:

I would like to challenge you to pick a step from the list above and try it. I would recommend starting with giving yourself unlimited permission to eat all foods. No more restricting!

I think there are several books about Intuitive Eating but this is the one that I have gotten the info from and it looks like a great resource.

Women's Conference Breakthrough: Peace with Food, Peace with your Body

2010-10-18T12:59:00.000-07:00

Saturday, Oct 16th I was honored to present at a women's conference called Breakthrough: Peace with Food, Peace with your Body, a Cherie Burton event.

There were a lot of "wow" moments, I know I took something valuable away from each speaker. What made this gathering extra effective in my mind was the fact that each speaker (including myself) connected spirituality and being a daughter of God with their presentation. I know internalizing that fact that you are a beautiful, unique, cherished, divine daughter of God is vital for a healthy relationship with food because if you value yourself you will want to treat your body with love and respect. You could not binge or restrict food, abuse yourself with negative self talk, and other harmful behaviors if you truly knew your worth and power as a daughter of God.

(In photo left to right: Cherie Burton, Haley Freeman (me), Steffanie England, Jessie Funk, Jen Marco Handy.) There were other presenters but these are the ladies that were around at the end who I was able to grab for a picture. Jessie and Jen shared their amazing voices and musical talent in their presentation. I recommend checking them out. I love Jessie's new inspirational CD (click on Jessie Funk's name above to hear her) and what she is doing with The Ivy Girl Academy
I met some remarkable women both in the presenters and in the attendees. It is amazing how small the world can be and how there is no other explanation for some connections made at these events other than the Lord had a hand in it.
It was a powerful experience for many, if not all who attended.

The conference was recorded. Click here to see the program. I know many of you had scheduling conflict with the event so let me know if you want the recording. You can leave me a message here with your contact info (e-mail) or you can e-mail me at afuturefortomorrow@gmail.com

Eating Disorders Online. com

2010-10-17T22:19:00.000-07:00

I bumped into this site on accident and was surprised to see my story was posted on a web page I didn't even know about. Nothing too long or fancy but just wanted to share it. Here it is:

http://www.eatingdisordersonline.com/blogs/general-eating-disorder-blogs/a-future-for-tomorrow-haley-freeman-shares-her-story