Understanding that the mind is only creative can help us grasp the power of beliefs. George Orwell once said that “myths which are believed in tend to become true.” This is especially true on an individual basis.

By now, most of us realize that our perception of reality is heavily influenced by our beliefs, but the full extent of this influence is often underestimated. Each of us has a variety of methods for altering our reality so it conforms to what we believe reality to be. Each of us is a reality alteration expert.

Editors note: This is the second in a five part series of articles about
How Your Beliefs Create Your Reality.
Here is a list of the subjects we will examine:
Part 1: What We Believe to Be True
Part 2: Your Internal Map of Reality
Part 3: Defending Your Beliefs
Part 4: Upgrading Your Beliefs
Part 5: Beyond the Map

In part one of this series we talked about how our beliefs provide a structured process through which we evaluate everything in our lives. Now it’s time to take that concept a step further and look at the influence of your beliefs on…

Part 2: Your Internal Map of Reality

From the moment you entered this life, your subconscious mind has been busy collecting and processing information. Combined with your experiences, this information is used to create your beliefs about who you are as a person, and how you fit into the world around you.

Because these beliefs are based on your evaluation, and emotional conclusions of your personal experiences, they are accepted by your subconscious as being absolutely true. Your subconscious mind then uses these personal “truths” to construct your personal version of reality. In other words, your beliefs become the foundation of your internal map of reality.

To the mind, your map is reality!

The way in which your map is constructed will determine many aspects of your life. It will be a major determining factor in your success or failure, your happiness or unhappiness, and your satisfaction or dissatisfaction with your entire life experience.

Remember when people believed that the world was flat? That belief completely changed the way they viewed and interacted with their world. It didn’t matter that the world was really round. They believed it was flat and that belief had a powerful influence on their reality. It changed the way they interpreted the facts. 

We customize the facts to fit our map

If we have created a map where opportunity is everywhere, that’s what we will see. When our map is based on opportunity, we won’t view challenges as obstacles because that wouldn’t harmonize with our map. So we interpret the facts in a way that allows them to fit in with, and support, our internal map of reality.

Here’s the catch. For most people the way the map creates their reality on a day to day basis is completely outside of their conscious awareness. And because the process takes place on a subconscious level, they don’t see how they are creating their own reality. Instead of feeling like something they created, it seems like it’s coming from an external source.

The map is not reality!

We also create an emotional attachment to our map. It’s our personal reality and we have a vested interest in verifying it’s accuracy. We want it to be real because it’s familiar, and that makes us feel safe and secure. This is why we are willing to distort, or even ignore, almost anything that might undermine our map.

Despite our best efforts though, sometimes our map of reality comes unraveled. Usually this involves emotionally charged events that don’t fit the map, and can’t be ignored. It’s like basing your map on a flat world, and then discovering you were wrong. Now your world doesn’t make sense anymore and your map falls apart.

You are not the map

For personal growth to occur, the map needs to be redrawn from time to time. The reason this change feels scary is because most people don’t realize that it’s only a map. They feel like their actual reality is imploding. Like their life is coming completely unraveled.

What is actually happening is their map is being updated to include new information. Being aware that it’s just a map, and not actual reality, makes it much easier to just let it happen. We know that the old map no longer serves us, and that the new one will. But this awareness requires the acknowledgement that we are not the map, and that we create the map based on past beliefs.

New beliefs are the key to a better map

Updating our beliefs automatically changes our map. This is how we create a more pleasing reality. When we systematically dismantle our limiting beliefs, and replace them with empowering beliefs, the topography of our map will conform.

When we replace self-doubt with self-confidence, fear with curiosity, or pessimism with optimism, our map will rearrange itself to support those beliefs. The world around us will look and feel different, and we will be more comfortable with our place in it. We will have created a better internal map of reality.

Letting go of the old map

In part 3: Defending Your Beliefs, we will take a closer look at how we alter the meaning of our experiences to fit our map. We will also discuss how we attract people and situations into our life in an effort to verify the correctness of our version of reality.

I have decided to add a fifth article to this series called “Beyond the Map.” Even though learning to manage our beliefs in a way that creates a more satisfying map of reality is the goal of these articles, there is another level. This next level of creating our reality will be the subject of part 5: Beyond the Map.

What do you think so far?
Do you agree or disagree?
The lines are open!

Related Articles:
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7 Simple Steps to Conquering Self-Doubt
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What’s Wrong With Unstoppable Self-Confidence?
Conscious Awareness – When Change Leads to Acceptance

By now, everyone has heard the favorite quotes from the “Law of Attraction” movement. You know the ones I mean, like…
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- Whatever your mind can conceive
and can believe, it can achieve.
Napoleon Hill
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- Whatever we think about and think
about we bring about. John Demartini
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- Whether you think you can or can’t
either way you are right. Henry Ford
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Those are great quotes for sure, but have you ever wondered how your beliefs actually create your reality? Do you think there is a logical explanation for this phenomenon, or is it some kind of secret cosmic mystery?
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If you cherish your cosmic mysteries then this might be a good place to stop reading. Why? Because I like logical explanations, and that’s where we are headed.
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Editors note: This is the first in a four part series of articles about
How Your Beliefs Create Your Reality.
Here is a list of the subjects we will examine:
Part 1: What We Believe to Be True
Part 2: Your Internal Map of Reality
Part 3: Defending Your Beliefs
Part 4: Upgrading Your Beliefs
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It all starts with…
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Part 1: What We Believe to Be True
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Our personal beliefs play a huge role in how we view our own life. Your estimation of your successes and failures will depend entirely on the framework of your personal beliefs. Our beliefs provide a structured process through which we evaluate everything in our lives.
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We develop our personal beliefs about reality based on how we interpret the world around us according to our observations and experiences. There are two major components or aspects that contribute to your personal beliefs, an emotional component and a logical component. 
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The blending of logic and emotions
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In some cases, a belief starts out much like a theory. Assumptions are made based on logical observations and deductions. In other cases, a new belief grows out of an emotional viewpoint that seems to be supported by logic.
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It’s the blending of these two major components that form the basic structure of our personal beliefs. Through the window of these beliefs, we try to make sense out of the things going on around us. We also use them to form assumptions about probable future results.
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Accepted as facts
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Once established, beliefs are accepted as fact and are rarely subject to scrutiny. They become our “personal operating system.” Much like the operating system on your computer, our beliefs control how we sort and file every bit of input data.
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Everything we see, experience, think and feel is adjusted to fit with our beliefs. In other words, our version of reality is a creation of our beliefs. Our personal operating system disassembles and reassembles all input data to conform to what we believe.
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This is not a conscious process
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Many of our beliefs were established in childhood and have outlived their usefulness. Others are leftovers from situations and circumstances that are no longer relevant. Why is this important?
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Well, imagine trying to run your current software on an ancient version of windows, or some other obsolete operating system. The results would not be very satisfying. The same could be said of obsolete belief systems that are still influencing how we evaluate everything in our lives.
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Beliefs need to be upgraded
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As we learn and grow, many of our former beliefs will no longer serve us. They have outlived their usefulness. In the final article in this series, we will look at some effective techniques to upgrade our beliefs.
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Before we get to that, it’s important to understand how our beliefs impact our current perspective. That’s what we will look at in the next article as we discuss: Your Internal Map of Reality
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What role do you feel beliefs play in your reality?
How interested are you in this subject?
The lines are wide open!
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Related Articles:
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What is the one thing every single person on the planet really wants out of life? Isn’t the answer simply to be happy? I mean, isn’t that the reason behind almost everything we do?

The pursuit of happiness is a universal quest. No stone is left unturned in an effort to locate the seemingly illusive source of true and lasting happiness. How’s your happiness quest going?

Where have you looked?

Some of the more common places to search for happiness are: a nice home, good job, meaningful relationships, big bank account, status and popularity, hobbies, and travel. Has your quest for happiness led you there?

How about pursuing it through personal development and goal setting. Have you given these a try as well? Or is there something in the works right now that you are pretty sure will make you happy in the near future?

Could you be looking but not seeing?

You probably already have many of the things that I mentioned above. And the truth is, those things can add a measure of happiness to our lives. It’s a real blessing to have a nice home and a truly meaningful relationship. Goal setting and continued personal development can also bring you happiness.

But here’s the thing! Nothing in your life can make you happy unless you let it. The key to happiness is not what you have or how favorable your circumstances are. It’s your attitude! You get to decide whether everything makes you happy, or nothing does.  

Appreciation is the mindset of happiness

We are programed to associate happiness with things outside of our current reality. That’s like chasing the wind. It distracts you from appreciating what’s going on right now. Happiness is a real time event, it’s not something you put off till “someday.”

Let’s look at some practical ways to bring happiness into our lives right now!

1) Be here now. Don’t project your happiness into the future. Think about the blessings in your life right now, and focus on being truly appreciative. Learn to experience life as it is happening, and train yourself to cultivate appreciation.

2) Notice the little things. Instead of anchoring your happiness to big events and special days, find happiness in the small things that happen every day. The vast majority of our life is spent doing the day to day things. Notice how special some of those really are and how much they add to your life. Noticing these small pleasures, throughout your day, makes a huge difference.

3) Become a student of life. There is so much wonder and awe in this world. Whatever your interests or passions, increased knowledge about those things can enrich your life. There is a lot of happiness generated when you are passionately pursuing new interests.

4) Simplify your life. Start by identifying the things you really love, then look for ways of eliminating as many distractions as possible. The more chaos in your life, the greater the potential for stress. By simplifying your life in this way, you create time for your happiness, while reducing the stress and chaos. There is beauty and peace in simplicity.

5) Focus on the good. Is the glass half full or half empty? The answer really depends on which half you focus on. In a similar way, whether you feel blessed or deprived will depend largely on which aspects of your life you focus on. Almost everything has a positive side, and focusing on the positives will change your perception of life.

6) Learn to accept. It’s a noble goal to work for positive change, but some things simply can’t be changed. So, you can either drive yourself crazy fretting over it, or you can learn to accept it. If something can’t be changed, then it’s better to learn to accept. The best way to fix the world is to apply your efforts where they can do the most good. In other words, become the best possible version of yourself, rather than to try to remake the world.

7) Help others. You know the principle, “there is more happiness in giving than receiving,” well it happens to be true. There are very few things that bring greater joy than helping a fellow human being. I’ll leave this one to your imagination because there are no shortage of ways to help others. We just need to be open to the opportunities as they come along.

8) Spend time with the people you love. There is a deep bond between love and happiness. Don’t let circumstances deprive you of the company of your loved ones. Relationships need attention to thrive. Life goes by fast! Children grow up and move away. Don’t risk missing out on your own life, spend it with the people you love.

9) Slow down. Take time to smell the roses, and the coffee, and what ever else makes you feel alive in the moment. Slowing down means reminding ourselves to throttle back a little, and enjoy the experience of living. Rushing through everything may seem necessary, but it is just a hectic illusion. Slow down so happiness can catch up with you.

10) Make time for quiet and solitude. Spend time in nature and connect with the creation. Unplug from the noise and plug in to the quiet energy emanating from the natural world. Stop and watch the sunset or sunrise. Go to the ocean, or the mountains. Find somewhere just to be away from the things of man, and watch how good it makes you feel.

11) Avoid negative energy like the plague. Negative energy is like a contagious disease. It will destroy your sense of happiness if you let it. Take steps to avoid contact with everyone whose dominate energy is negative. You can’t help them, but they can definitely harm you. This also goes for entertainment and the news. It doesn’t matter if it’s a person, place, or thing, if it’s mostly negative, cut it out of your life.

Try it, you’ll like it!

These 11 simple steps to greater happiness may seem rather basic, because they are. The hard part is putting them to work in your life on a daily basis. Sure, it will take some effort, but ask yourself: How would it feel to be truly happy most of the time? Then decide if it’s worth the effort.

What makes you feel truly happy?
What would you like to add to the list?
The lines are open!

Stay up to date with email updates !
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Of all the valuable life skills a person can develop, the ability to make wise decisions ranks at the very top. No other skill has such a dramatic impact on our quality of life! And yet, society seems to be plagued with bad decision makers.
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Have you ever been amazed by the abundance of shortsightedness in the realm of decision making? Have you ever wondered why such an important life skill presents such a formidable challenge to so many? Have you struggled with this challenge personally?
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Life skills must be learned
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In order for us to learn a skill, there must be someone qualified to teach it. This means that our ability to make decisions will be strongly affected by the person we learned that ability from. If our parents lacked good decision making skills, it puts us at a distinct disadvantage.
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To compound the problem, this important skill is not taught in schools. Young children are asked to make decisions without being given the skills to do so. The results of this educational blunder are all too obvious. Thankfully, we can all improve our decision making ability with the application of a few basic principles.
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Many things influence the decision making process
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One of the reasons people struggle when making decisions is that there are so many things to consider. We have our personal wants, financial impact, effect on our friends and family members, and on and on. This alone can be overwhelming.
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Then there is the pressure from outside influences. Advertisers work very hard to influence our decisions in their favor. My friend Stephen Mills wrote a fascinating article about this called Irrational Decisions – Relativity. I highly recommend reading it. And last but not least, there are always the opinions of well meaning friends and acquaintances.
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Are you getting more confused?
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Once we really look at all of the different aspects of making a decision, we can see why so many struggle with this skill. In fact, the seeming complexity of the process can easily lead to procrastination and indecision. If you find yourself in this position, there’s a wonderful article by Steve Aitchison called Overcoming Procrastination.
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Of course, the purpose of this article is to simplify the decision making process, not complicate it. So, now that we’ve examined some of the reasons why decision making can seem so complicated, let’s simplify the daylights out of it.
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The real basis of sound decision making
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The most important key to making wise decisions is CONSEQUENCES! Every single decision you have ever made, or will ever make, has consequences. Once we learn to evaluate our decisions based on consequences, all the other considerations fall neatly into place. It’s that simple.
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Even your internal sense of right and wrong will be satisfied if you apply this simple process: Follow your decisions to their logical conclusion BEFORE you make them. If I do this, what will be the likely result? If I choose this course, what are the consequences going to be? Make your decision based solely on the consequences and you will be amazed at the way it changes your life.
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Our life is the expression of our decisions and indecisions
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The life you are leading today is the result of past decisions and indecisions. If you don’t like your current situation, change the way you make decisions. Many people make decisions based on instant gratification with no regard for long term consequences. This is what I call the Kamikaze approach to life. It’s the opposite of wisdom.
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Others blame their situation, rather than accepting responsibility. My friend Sid Savara addressed this nicely in an article called Personal Development Roadblocks – “The Situation.” Then there are those who postpone making decisions because they are waiting for the right circumstances. If you have this tendency, please read Stop Waiting For Your Life To Be A Fairy Tale by Jeff Nickles.
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Be wise, don’t over complicate decision making
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Regardless of your past decision making abilities, you can quickly become a wise decision maker. All you need to do is think before you decide. Before you make any decision, follow it down the long hallway of consequences. This simple practice will help you avoid untold pain and regret.
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Soon, others will marvel at your wisdom, as your life remodels itself around the beneficial consequences of your wise decisions.
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How do you go about making decisions?
What consequences have you experienced?
The lines are open!

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Stay up to date, get the feed!
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Related Articles:
How Important Is Self-Confidence?
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Editors note: This one goes in my “just for fun” category. My wife got this email and it made her laugh so hard that I had to share it with you. I have no idea who wrote it, but I’m glad they did…
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After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women – she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target.
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Dear Mrs. Samuel,
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Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
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1) June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.
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2) July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals. .
3) July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.
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4) July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
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5) August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
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6) August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
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7) August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
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8) August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’ EMTs were called.
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9) September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
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10) September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
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11) October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘Mission Impossible’ theme.
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12) October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by using different sizes of funnels.
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13) October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME PICK ME!’
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14) October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’
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And last, but not least:
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15) October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.’ One of the clerks passed out.
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PS. If you don’t send this to 12 of your dearest friends, your property taxes will go up, your stocks will go down, and your middle will spread. (How’s that for a curse?!?) What? It’s already come true? Then send it anyway–you’ve got nothing’ to lose!

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Ladies, how do you feel about taking your man shopping?
Guys, want to give some of these a try?
The lines are open.
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Stay up to date, get the feed!
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Rick is only 45 years old, and yet he seems much older. The reason I say that is his attitude. As far as Rick is concerned, his life has never been, nor will it ever be, as fun and exciting as it was during his college years. Everything after that is just a big disappointment.
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Get him into a conversation about college, his eyes light up and he becomes really animated. But ask him what he’s up to now, and he says: “you know, same old thing.” In sharp contrast, Rick’s 14 year old son Jason, who looks like a little Rick, is extremely enthusiastic and positive about everything.
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Is this contrast just about age?
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Have you ever noticed how people’s conversations tend to run in one of three directions? There are those who talk mostly with a reference to the future, those who talk about the present, and others who speak primarily with reference to the past.
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That’s not to say that their conversation doesn’t include all three, just that their general focus is either in the past, present, or future. I’ve also noticed that this trend often correlates to a persons age group.
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Who’s looking forward, and who’s looking back?
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Younger people are often very future oriented. They feel that their whole life is ahead of them, and they are enthusiastic about all of the possibilities. On the flip side, the conversation of many older people often reveals that, in their mind, the best days of their life are all in the past. As a result, they find it easier to feel enthusiastic about the past than the future.
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Of course, all age groups talk about the present, but many times there is a major difference in the tone of those conversations as well. Generally speaking, the younger the group the more excitement they attach to their current daily activities.
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How can we continue to be excited about life?
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Even though these observations appear to be age related, age is not as strong an influence as you might think. Why do I say that? Because I also know fairly young people, like Rick, who look back longingly on their glory days, as if life couldn’t possibly be that good again.
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Even more significant, I personally know people in their fifties and sixties who are just the opposite. Instead of pining over yesteryear, the are still very excited by their current activities, and extremely enthusiastic and optimistic about the future. In fact, I have an amazing friend named Glen who is a very enthusiastic 89 years young. 
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What accounts for such opposite viewpoints?
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This is where we can turn simple observations into advanced Life skills. These differences are not age related, even though it may appear to be that way. The truth is, these differences are attitude and focus oriented, and have very little to do with chronological age.
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This is true of many so called aging related conditions, regardless of whether they are mental, emotional, or physical. Our perception has a much greater influence on our reality than our circumstances do.
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Life is mostly what you make it!
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If you want to feel old at any age, all you need to do is convince yourself that your best days are in the past. Manifest this mindset, and you will quickly lose your optimism and enthusiasm about the future. This is an effective strategy for turning your life into an endurance contest.
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Now, let’s turn that around. To maintain a sense of youthful enthusiasm, and an optimistic view of your life and future, what should you do? You should create legitimate reasons to believe that these are the good old days, and that your best years are just ahead. With the right focus and attitude, your life will continue to be full of amazing possibilities.
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Things you can do right now!
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Let’s look at some practical ways that we can move closer to the kind of attitude that fosters a sense of excitement and optimism. Here are some dos and don’ts to get you started.
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1) Do – set new meaningful goals for your life.
And don’t allow self-imposed limits to get in your way.
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2) Do – design goals that play on your experience and knowledge.
And don’t – make comparisons with what you used to do.
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3) Do – take steps to stay physically fit and active.
And don’t – ignore your health until it’s too late.
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4) Do – continue to learn and grow your knowledge base.
And don’t – allow your brain to go unstimulated.
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5) Do – practice looking forward with eager anticipation.
And don’t – waste your life looking backwards.
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6) Do – be willing to work around new challenges.
And don’t – give up because you encounter difficulties.
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7) Do – appreciate all the benefits that come with experience.
And don’t – ever stop being grateful for each day of life.
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Learning to be adaptable!
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Nothing in life stays the same for very long. Life is in a state of change, so resisting change is a colossal waste of energy. On the other hand, learning to adapt quickly is a skill that can serve us at any age. Instead of thinking: “I can’t do that any more,” try saying: “I had to find a new way to do that.” Continue to challenge yourself.
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Every stage of life has it’s strengths, and we should be willing to exploit those strengths. The natural progression of life is one of accumulated wisdom and knowledge. As far as I’m concerned, that’s something to be enthusiastic about.
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How do you feel about your prospects for the future?
Do you prefer to think about today over yesterday?
The lines are open!
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Stay up to date, get the feed!
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Related articles:
When Lightning Strikes
What’s Standing in Your Way?
7 Traits of Highly Confident People
Don’t Let Fear Get In Your Way
Using Transference to Increase Self-Confidence

Have you ever wondered: What can I do to improve my life right now? Sometimes a few small changes can have a profound effect on the way we experience life. With that in mind, I invite you to consider the following:
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1) Make the choice to be happy. The biggest part of being happy is to simply make up your mind to be a happy person. It’s not about circumstances, it’s about choice.
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2) Count your blessings every day. We all have blessings in our lives. Take the time each and everyday to appreciate yours, and your view of life will be one of gratitude.
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3) Let go of negative thoughts. Don’t poison yourself by dwelling on negative thoughts. Your life reflects your dominate thought patterns, make yours positive.
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4) Let go of negative people. Like it or not, your attitude is susceptible to the dominate attitude of those around you. If they are negative, let them go and don’t look back.
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5) Be considerate of others. Showing consideration is a way of honoring others. Most people will respond in kind. When you honor others, you honor yourself.
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6) Get regular exercise. We all need to move and breath. Too much sitting robs you of the sense of being alive. Buy out time for exercise and you will feel better mentally, emotionally, and physically.
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7) Keep learning new things. Learning is what keeps us excited about life. Your mind has an almost infinite ability to take in knowledge. Feed your head.
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8) Smile at everyone. A smile can light up a single heart, or a whole room. It’s a wonderful free gift you can give to anyone who looks your way. Contribute to the bank of happiness, smile.
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9) Be polite. Manners create an atmosphere of mutual respect and goodwill. Rudeness reveals a complete lack of character. It’s right to be polite and crude to be rude.
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10) Practice listening. If we are really listening we will always hear more than words. Try to hear the meaning behind the words without presuming you already know. 
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11) Build others up. Life can be pretty hard at times and a little encouragement from you can help others feel more confident and capable. Help them out when you can.
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12) Find reasons to laugh. With the right attitude we can find humor almost everywhere. Laughter is powerful medicine, so laugh often.
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13) Be completely honest. Honesty comes from within. It takes humility and courage to be totally honest with ourselves and others. It’s also incredibly liberating.
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14) Be tactful. Being honest does not mean being brutal, even with yourself. Don’t needlessly offend others in the name of honesty, use tact and diplomacy.
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15) Look for way to practice giving. There are hundreds of ways to give, and ample opportunities for giving. Something as simple as a smile or kind word can change somebodies whole day, and their response can change your’s.
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16) Be creative. This would be a good place to add your own tip for improving your life right now. Go ahead, be creative!
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17) Watch for cause and effect. What you do and say has a huge impact on your life. It is in your best interest to become aware of the connection. Notice the effect of your words and actions so you can make any needed adjustments.
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18) View your mistakes as learning experiences. In new activities, it’s rare that we get it right the first time. Evaluating our results and adjusting our approach is how we learn. The better we get at this process the quicker we will produce our intended result.
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19) Challenge yourself with large and small goals. Goals give us something to focus on. They also provide a sense of purpose and direction. But remember, you can’t achieve a goal you haven’t set. So, set goals in every area of life.
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20) Stop comparing yourself to others. You are not them, so there is no basis for comparison. Strive to be the best possible version of yourself, and learn to celebrate your individuality.
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21) Stop judging others. We rarely have as much insight into another persons life as we think we do. If they do something you don’t approve of, judge the act, not the person.
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22) Eliminate time wasters from your life. We all want more time, and yet we all waste time on meaningless pursuits. Get rid of them and you will have the time you wished for.
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23) Don’t turn everything into a big deal. If you turn little issues into big issues it will rob you of your joy. Give yourself and everyone else a break, learn to let it go.
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24) Don’t take yourself too seriously. Learn to laugh at yourself, it’s liberating. When we take ourselves too seriously life becomes a struggle. Again, let it go.
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25) Avoid self-imposed limits. Strike limiting words from your vocabulary, and limiting thoughts from your mind. You can do almost anything you set your mind to, so don’t allow self-imposed limits to hold you back.
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26) Don’t try to control other people. Your example may influence others, but you cannot control them. They have the the same freedom of choice that you have. Respect that.
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27) Actively show appreciation. When someone does something nice for you, show them some appreciation. Acts of kindness, large and small, deserve recognition.
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28) Use applied focus sessions to get more done. Applied Focus Sessions – a simple strategy that can increase productivity and free time. Give it a try, it works.
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29) Take breaks to clear your mind. You will accomplish more, be more focused, and experience less stress if you give your brain periodic “clearing” breaks throughout the day.
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30) Don’t waste energy in pointless debates. Everyone has an opinion, so what? Debating opinions is a colossal waste of time and energy, and it’s pointless. It’s not always important to make your point. Let it go.
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31) Be optimistic. Optimism is a wonderful mindset. It focuses your energy on possibility. Your whole world looks brighter through the window of optimism.
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32) Set aside time for yourself. It’s great to be productive, but we are not machines. To function at optimal levels you must be well grounded. Make sure you make enough time in your life for you and your loved ones.
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33) Believe in yourself. You really are capable of amazing things. The only thing that can get between you and your dreams is self-doubt. Don’t let that happen! Believe in yourself, and surround yourself with others who believe in you.
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34) Be yourself and forget about impressing others. No matter what you do, some people will like you and some won’t. Why not just be yourself so that those who do like you, like you for who you really are. Really, being yourself is impressive enough.
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35) Accept responsibility for your life. This is the opposite of blaming others for your situation. When you accept responsibility, you assume complete control of your life and close the door on excuses. It’s a powerful state.
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36) Strive to create value. The more value you create, the more valuable you become to the world around you. Many people are only concerned about creating value for themselves, this is a selfish reality. Contribute the the abundance around you and you will experience real abundance in return.
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37) Be aware of your spiritual need. Whether you are willing to acknowledge it or not, we all have a spiritual need. Taking steps to fill that need will add a vital dimension to your life.
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Want to add something to the list?
Have an opinion about something on the list?
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When it comes to making transformations in your life, what approach do you favor? Do you like to rush right in and shake things up, or do you prefer to ease into it at a slower pace?
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Both of these approaches to personal transformation can produce good results. However, understanding and using the one that actually works for you can greatly increase those results. Let’s take a closer look at these two techniques.
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The Personal Transformation Tortoise
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This is usually the choice of those who are uncomfortable with change. They like the sense of security that comes from making small, calculated adjustments in a measured way. Rather than disrupting the orderliness of their world, they change one thing at a time and then evaluate.
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If you reflect on the story of the tortoise and the hare, you will recall that this approach won the race. There are definite advantages to “slow and steady,” and in some situations this is the most reasonable approach for everyone.
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For example, if you are out of shape and you want to take up running, it wouldn’t be very wise to run ten miles your first day. Slow and steady is obviously the better choice. And this same principal applies to many areas of life. So we should never underestimate the power of “slow and steady” when it comes to transforming your life.
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The Personal Transformation Hare
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For those who are more comfortable with radical change, this will often be the preferred approach. It’s a way of really shaking things up that basically amounts to a giant pattern interrupt. Instead of trying to maintain orderliness, this method approaches personal transformation with a more adventurous spirit.
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Changing our established response patterns often requires this type of planned disruption. When attempting to break out of familiar or customary behavior, we may need to introduce a number of new elements into the picture to avoid responding “as usual.”
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Don’t automatically assume that this approach is more haphazard or reckless. In reality, both approaches require preparation and forethought to be successful. It is always in our best interest to be adaptable enough to use whichever approach is likely be most effective in any given set of circumstances.
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What works best for me!
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As you can tell by the tagline of this blog, I’m into Simple Steps to Quickly Transform Your Life. I like fast results where possible, but I am also after those long term benefits that come only with time. In other words, I use a combined approach whenever I can.
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We have already established that both approaches have their strong points. Where possible, I use a system that allows me to enjoy the best of both worlds. Using this approach has allowed me to successfully transform many areas of my life in the shortest possible time, without sacrificing long term results. Here’s how I do it.
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The interval approach to personal transformation
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If you have ever used interval fitness training, then you know that it involves moving from one thing to another. That’s the approach I like to use when transforming any aspect of my life. If the situation allows for it, I will use some kind of disruptive approach to produce rapid change. Then I will adopt a more “steady as she goes” approach while I get my bearings.
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Once I have adapted to my new level of change, I look for my next opportunity to make another quantum leap. To illustrate, If I where traveling on foot toward a predetermined destination, this is what I would do. I would run for awhile, then I would switch to walking just long enough to catch my breath and asses my progress. When I was ready, I would go back to running, followed by more walking.
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The beauty of this approach is that my forward momentum never stops. I simply go from rapid progress to steady progress, and repeat.
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The benefits of rapid transformation
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Any time you can experience fast results, it will encourage you to keep moving forward. I don’t care whether you are starting a new business, trying to lose weight, or mastering some new skill. The faster you see a reward for you efforts, the more likely you are to keep going.
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Meaningful results are usually cumulative and require consistent effort. Anything that helps you hang in there for the long haul is going to raise your chances of success. Seeing positive results after a short period of focused effort can provide all the motivation you need to make it to the milestone. This process is progressive, and is fueled by positive feedback in the form of continued results.
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Personal transformation by design
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Whatever your approach to creating a personal transformation, your preparation and forethought will have a direct influence on your results. So, before you take any action at all, I encourage you to design a tentative plan of action. I say tentative because you will need the flexibility to make adjustments as you progress.
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Here are a five questions to consider when designing your personal transformation:
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1) What exactly do you want to transform? You may have a good idea of what you want to change, but what will that change look like? If you want to get in better shape physically, for example, you need to specify what that means. If it means losing weight, then how much? If it means increasing your skill level in some activity, then how will you measure it?
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2) How long will this transformation take? Time frames motivate us to take action. You need to assign a time limit to the transformational process. The only transformation that takes place without your input is aging, everything else happens by design. Give yourself the advantage that comes from creating a time frame and your results will increase exponentially.
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3) How important is this transformation to you personally? We all have a variety of things demanding our attention. As a consequence, most of us operate on a priority system. In other words, we do whatever is most important at the time. To make a meaningful transformation in some important area of your life, you will need to assign it a high priority.
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4) Why are you doing it? I always say that a person can do anything if they have a good enough reason. So, what’s your reason? Make sure you understand why making this transformation is important to you. Without a good reason you might give up when you encounter obstacles. Get clear on your reasons “why” before you start.
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5) What approach are you going to use? Are you going to be a tortoise, a hare, or some combination of the two? If you are looking for rapid change then how will you accomplish that? Even if you a using the “slow and steady” approach, you will still need a way to measure progress against your time frame. If you choose intervals, what are they going to be.
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Get some help if you need it
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One of the main reasons why people are unable to transform different areas of their lives, is they simply don’t understand the process. Positive transformations do not happen by accident, they happen by design. Skills are involved, and these are not the kind of skills we were taught in school.
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Transformational skills are not difficult, but they are highly specialized. If you don’t know these skills, then it can seem almost impossible to change the things you want to change. That’s why I wrote 7 Simple Steps, it is a step by step life transformation guide. It’s easy to follow and produces remarkable results.
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The important point here is this; if you need to learn these skills so you can transform various areas of your life, then take the time to do so. Find a reputable source of reliable information and learn the skills you need to create the life you want. Please don’t settle for ordinary, because you really can have extraordinary.
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What’s your favorite transformation technique?
How successful are you in this area of life?
The lines are open!
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What is your passion? Come on, you can say it out loud, don’t be afraid. Let me help you: “My passion is _______________” There, all you need to do is simply fill in the blank.
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Oh, are you thinking that you don’t know what your passion is? Maybe I can help you figure it out. Write down a few possible contenders, and then ask yourself the following questions with regard to each one:
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1) Does doing it, or thinking about it make you feel good about yourself?
2) Is it something you enjoy doing so much that you would do it for free, or even pay money to be able to do it?
3) When you are doing it, do you lose track of time?
4) When you are talking about it do you become more animated and enthusiastic?
5) If circumstances allowed you to spend more time doing it, would you?
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If you answered yes to most of these questions for one of your contenders, then you found a winner. This is definitely something you want to do. Now, here’s the tough question: Are you doing it?
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Are you pursuing that passion?
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You see, almost everyone has a passion they want to pursue. The problem is, we often push those passions aside in the name of being “practical.” Let’s look at the reasoning involved when choosing practical over passion.
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If I do this other thing (that I’m not passionate about) first, and make some money, then I can turn my attention toward my passion. This sounds like a totally reasonable approach, doesn’t it? Raise your hand if this is your strategy!
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Maybe it looks good on paper, but…
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I hate to be a wet blanket here but statistics show that this practical approach rarely leads back to your passionate pursuit. Notice I didn’t say that this approach won’t work, just that most people can’t pull it off. Why not?
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Because it’s far too easy to get pulled into the “practical” career and not be able to extract yourself from it later on. It becomes too easy to just keep doing what you’re doing while your passions go into the “maybe someday” file. To succeed at using this approach requires an unusual degree of focus and determination.
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On the positive side, I do know people who have what it takes to break out of an established career and successfully go after their dreams. One good example is my friend and colleague Steve Aitchison of Change Your Thoughts. His article The Power of Focus is very encouraging if you are looking to break free from a career that you are not passionate about.
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Society is not passion oriented
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Where in your growing up experience were you ever encouraged to pursue your passions until your dreams came true? Instead, everything is designed to channel you toward a career choice that will allow you to “make a good living.” In turn, making a good living is supposed to be on a par with “living your passion,” but safer and easier. Don’t get me wrong, we all like the idea of making a good living. But shouldn’t we be able to really enjoy what we do at the same time?
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Too often, the pursuit of our passions is described as “not very practical.” In fact, anything that doesn’t fit into the standard curriculum is often viewed as a long shot, or worse. Why do you think that is? Isn’t it true that most famous people became famous by breaking rank and pursuing their passions? Why does society revere them, and yet discourage people from following in their footsteps?
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Don’t let fear hold you back!
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We spend a huge portion of our lives working. It would be a shame if we didn’t feel a strong sense of satisfaction from that effort. The number one thing that prevents people from pursuing their passions is fear. More specifically, it’s fear of failure. My question is, Does failure really exist or is it more a matter of attitude?
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The funny thing is, most highly successful people have experienced failure one or more times on their road to success. Unhindered by setbacks, they continued to pursue their passion until they succeeded. Often, it was the lessons they learned by not succeeding right away that allowed them to finally get it right. So, what’s standing in your way? If it’s fear of failure, maybe you need to shift your focus.
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You have a right to pursue your passions
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Don’t ever let anyone convince you that pursuing your passion is not practical. Passion is what brings meaning and value to your life. The very quality of your life experience is directly affected by the pursuit of your passions. With so much at stake, it seems impractical to choose any other course.
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Please do not allow your passions to end up in the “maybe someday” file. Get yourself focused and motivated. Set some goals in the direction of your passion, and then pursue them relentlessly. Life is to short to settle for anything less than passionate.
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PS. Need some help getting started? Join me and a motivated group of other readers in challenging yourself to accomplish something remarkable before this year is over. Get involved in the Make It Happen Now – 2009 Countdown Challenge!
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Everyone has dreams they would like to see come true. How long would it take you to list three of your favorites? In fact, why not do that before we continue. Just write down three really important things that you would like to see become a reality in your life. Go ahead, I’ll wait!
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All set? OK, let’s see if we can’t get you a little closer to making those dreams happen. The first thing that needs to happen is, we need to change your perception about the things on your list. It’s good to have dreams, but by nature, dreams are not very tangible. So let’s begin by changing the label. What should we call them instead of dreams?
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How about calling them goals?
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Are you thinking: What’s the big deal, what difference does it make whether we call them dreams or goals? I’m glad you asked. Here’s one of the dictionary’s definitions for dream.
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…………….Dream - An idea or hope that is impractical
…………….or unlikely ever to be realized; idle hope.
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Now let’s look at the way the word goal is defined and see which one is the most appropriate label for the three things you wrote down.
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……………Goal – Something that somebody wants to
……………achieve or accomplish; something to aim for.
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Clearly, if the the three things on your list are to have any chance of becoming part of your reality, it would be better to refer to them as goals.
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Goals involve intention
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Unlike dreams, goals are something we aim for. That implies several things. The most important is, we intend to reach them. We have set our sights on them and they are now part of our focus. As a result, we become “goal-oriented.”
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Let’s go to the dictionary again and see what it has to say about being goal-oriented:
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……………Goal-oriented – Organized to achieve particular
……………goals: strongly motivated and highly organized
……………in achieving tasks that are specified in advance.
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At this point we have left the realm of “dreams” far behind. Having goals is a lot closer to reality than simply dreaming about something. Of course, there’s still a big difference between aiming at a goal, and actually achieving it.
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What else do we need?
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Our definition for goal-oriented mentioned being organized and motivated. These are vital elements of any successful attempt at achieving our goals. It also mentioned something that is specified in advance. Let’s elaborate on that aspect a little.
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The more refined and defined our goals are, the greater our chance of achieving them. It’s impossible to align your focus on something that is just a vague generality. Having a crystal clear vision of what we intend to accomplish gives us something to really focus on. Success requires that we take the time to clearly define our goals.
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It doesn’t stop there!
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There are several other necessary elements to setting and achieving goals. Here’s a sampling of things that will greatly increase your ability to turn dreams into reality.
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1) Determination. This is especially important with respect to big goals that will require considerable time and energy. One way to increase your determination is to…
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2) Break big goals into manageable stages. Smaller, “stepping stone goals” keep you from feeling overwhelmed. They also provide positive reinforcement and a sense of accomplishment along the way.
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3) Eliminate distractions. If your efforts are too diluted, it really won’t matter what else you do. When you are serious about achieving an important goal you need to push less important things out of the picture.
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4) Constantly evaluate your progress. To reach your target you must stay on course. That means checking you progress to make sure you are sill moving in the right direction. Your path will always be somewhat fluid, so keep your eye on the ball.
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5) Believe in yourself. Doubt is a waste of time and energy. Deal with doubts before you start working toward your goal, not after. Doubt is the opposite of determination and engaging in it will bring your progress to a standstill.
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6) Make a commitment. Every important goal will present you with challenges along the way. If you are not totally committed to success, those challenges could seem insurmountable. Making a total commitment to success will shrink those challenges down so you can climb over them.
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7) Make yourself accountable. Tell others what you intend to do so you will feel accountable. This can be very motivating for several reasons. The more accountability you feel, the more motivated you will become.
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You must take ACTION or nothing will happen!
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I am going to make this real easy. Take the list of goals you just made and go join my Make It Happen Now – 2009 Countdown Challenge. There are still 87 days left in this year and I want to see your dreams come true.
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You will accomplish amazing things once you get focused. I’m in this challenge up to my eyeballs, and I want us to do it together. So, grab your goals, click the link, and let’s blow all the obstacles out of are way.
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It’s time for action! Do yourself a favor and take the challenge.
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