Adoption And My Two Daddies

A couple of Videos in the Philippines

2009-11-18T20:14:00.002-08:00

One video is of our house and the other is our littl guy taking a bath outside in front of our home in the Philippines.

Hello From The Philippines

2009-10-15T20:03:00.000-07:00

Well, we are a little more than half way through our vacation. The time is flying by. Andrew has adjusted very well to the time change (16 hours forward from PST). At first, it was a bit difficult because his Daddies did not adjust as well as him...but we are back in sinc.

Here are some pics of Andrew with his neighbor TJ. He took a bath outside at our neighbor's house. He had so much fun playing in the water that he did not want to get out.

Andrew and Mommy 9/13/09

2009-09-13T18:33:00.000-07:00

This is our first visit since losing Emily. After this unfortunate event, my partner also lost his sister. She was 39 years young and the loss was a very emotional one. We have finally got back on track and met up with Andrew's Mommy. I have attached some pics below

"Daddy, Can I Take The Car?"

2009-09-08T13:54:00.000-07:00

OK, well maybe my son is asking for the car to just play and bite on the steering wheel, press all the buttons and beep the horn but soon he will be asking me to hand over the keys to take a friend to the movies.

Stop, I Wanna Get Off This Ride!

2009-08-06T21:16:00.000-07:00

Over the last two days, the birth mom has had some health challenges. At 5 1/2 months pregnant with Emily she had some serious bleeding and her water broke.
Little Emily did not make it through. It was a sad day for all of us.
Being with the birth mom on every appointment and seeing Emily develop each time was incredible. Each appointment made it feel more and more real that we were going to have a baby sister for our son Andrew.
This experience was truly like a roller coaster with incredible ups and some serious down falls. We look at this as our only shot. We had not originally planned to have a second child. When the birth mom of Andrew told us she was pregnant again, we instantly thought yes, we will have a second child. But, that's it, we are done. We won't be jumping on any more rides like this one unless it's at a real amusement park and our son Andrew is sitting between us.

In my heart and mind I say, "Emily, I was prepared and ready to love you and protect you. It's funny to say that I miss you, but I do. I heard your strong heart beat, I saw you tumble and move in side your mom. I could have sworn you even waved at me. I pray that you have moved on to heaven and will look over your big brother and know we loved you with all our hearts."

Being One With The Potty

2009-07-29T20:06:00.000-07:00

So I began reading about the best ways to teach my son how to use the potty like a big boy. He is only 19 months and all the books I have read said you should not start too early and most agree by 2 1/2 years old the child should begin the learning process.

I did read that you should expose your baby even at an early age the potty seat. They say if your baby becomes familiar with the potty seat, he will not be afraid of it once you begin to teach him how to use it.

That made sense to me, so I went to BabiesRUs and bought him a nice white cushion-ie potty seat.

I left it in our living room so that Andrew and the Potty Seat could become better acquainted. Here is how they got along. Quite frankly, I think this potty training will be a breeze...How about you guys?

Aging Parents

2009-07-17T06:42:00.000-07:00

Ed, Me and Andrew

Uncle Robby and Godson Andrew

Cuz Brandon and Andrew

Mom at 75

Me and My Best Friend Rob

Rob

Mom and Me

Grandma and Andrew

Grandma and Andrew

Uncle Robby and Andrew

My Aunt and Andrew

We took a little trip to San Diego for the long 4th of July weekend. We really had a great time. Andrew had his first experience in a swimming pool and to our surprise was not afraid at all. He really enjoyed being submerged in the water. He was able to hang out with Grandma, and his Uncle Robbie (my best friend) as well as some extended family.

We celebrated my mom's 75th birthday. She looks great! She is still very strong and mobile.
We were having a great visit at my Cousin's place and were all sitting in the living room watching my son play with his 2 1/2 year old cousin. My mom came into the living room and looked at me and said "When did you come in?". I said "What?" and started laughing. She said "I didn't see you come in". I got up and said "Mom, I drove you here to Cousin's house". I stood up in disbelief. When I walked toward her she said, "oh, Paul, I thought you were Cousin (insert name)". I looked at my Aunt and we connected eyes. I took my Aunt aside and she told me these sort of things were happening. Not often but enough to know it could potentially get worse.

I speak to my mom maybe twice per week and I never noticed this. My Aunt said she will be going with my mom to the doctor on July 23rd (normal check up) and mention this to the doctor.

There were two instances where this disconnect took place during our weekend trip. The rest of the time she was alert.

When I thought of my mom getting older, my biggest concern was losing her. How one day she would no longer be in my physical world. I was not concentrating on the possible developments of dementia or senility and how that would also affect our lives. It makes me so concerned...and now I'm calling her every day.

It also made me reflect on my son and his soon to be little sister. I want to make sure my partner and I will minimally affect their lives as we become older. Then, my brain thought, who will leave this earth first?..my partner or me?. How will we go?...Then I tell myself, STOP! Live in the here and now and prepare for the future.

Our Daughter, Emily

2009-07-09T11:30:00.000-07:00

I'm using this Father Friday post as an update on our daughter Emily. Emily is developing on track. We had another ultra sound on 7/7/09. After our appointment, my partner and I took the birth mom food shopping. She has a follow up appointment with the doctor on July 14th. I told her that after that appointment, that I will take her clothes shopping to fit her growing waist line.

I honestly still can not believe that we are having a second child. We are very excited, don't get me wrong...but I'm getting kind of scared. Do I literally have to wait until my partner is home to run an errand like going to the grocery store? or will I be able to handle taking an infant and a toddler on my own?... I guess families do this all the time and I will find a way to balance this..but the thought is kind of scary.

The one thing I'm really excited about is buying new baby stuff...(ie: CLOTHES)...the baby girls department is HUGE in comparison to the baby boys. (I think this is the case for all ages in general).

Basically, fellow bloggers, I'm looking for positive feedback telling me we can do this and that it's not as difficult as I am beginning to stress about.

Comparison of Gay Dads to Straight Dads

2009-07-01T23:26:00.001-07:00

This is meant for a little light hearted fun. This is for dad-blogs.com
There is a segment called Daddy Yak. This week is about gay dads and straight dads. Here was my little video

Dinner Time

2009-06-25T20:38:00.000-07:00

My Day With The Birth Mom

2009-06-19T08:47:00.001-07:00

Well, I picked up Birth mom at 830AM to take her to her OB appointment. She had been up all night at a hospital because she had developed some sort of an abscess on the roof of her mouth. When I drove up, she had no make up on and had her hair pulled back in a pony tail. She looked exhausted.
She gave me the whole story but said she did not want to cancel because she knows how important this appointment is.
We got to the hospital (general hospital because she is not covered by any insurance) and took a number. We were lucky to have #9. As we tried to find two seats that were together in the waiting area we heard "#6, #6, Seis, Seis". We looked at each other and said "oh goodie, we should not have to wait too long".
Once our number was called, you sit with one of the administrators and they take down all your information, then you go back to the waiting room and wait for a nurse to call you. The administrator we had, was not friendly. As a matter of fact, none of them except for one was friendly to the patients. As we were waiting for the nurse to call us (it had been probably an hour and a half already), I was standing near the counter. I was watching as most of the administrators were talking with each other and laughing while the one closest to me was talking on the phone in a very low voice as to hide that she was obviously on a personal phone call.
The gal on the phone said to me, "Could you take a seat!!!". I said "No, I've been sitting all day, I'll just stand here...but don't worry, I'm not listening to your personal phone call", and then just smiled at her.
Then about 15 minutes later (she is still on the phone) an elderly lady approached the counter and one of the administrators came over to her. The elderly woman seemed confused about a form and asked for help. She was extremely passive and timid. The administrator, rolled her eyes and said "I told you to wait for the doctor...Don't you know that?!!!!!
I could not help myself, I looked at her and said, "you know what I know? Your rude!...All of you here behind this counter except for one, are rude". The office became quiet and I looked back at the birth mom and she had her eyes open wide. Just at that point, a nurse stepped out of the double doors and called the birth-mother's name. I got our stuff and went inside with her. I told the doctors about the staff out there and she said, "I know, we get many complaints". It was just left at that.
The appointment was quite interesting which consisted of a physical and an ultra sound. I heard the heartbeat of little Emily which was sooooo cool. They then took us to get a sonogram so we could see the baby.....also VERY VERY COOL. The nurses and doctors were AWESOME and really made me feel apart of the whole process.

We finally got out of the hospital about 2:00pm. I took the birth-mom grocery shopping. We bought fresh veggies and fruit, soups, chicken...pretty much anything she wanted. She was very reluctant to pick things out and I had to stop her and say, "look, don't be shy with me, we have a history together and an expanding family, keep that in mind". She just smiled and continued on to pick out some food.
She was not up to clothes shopping because she was super tired. I took her home and helped her unpack the stuff.
I told her I will text her each morning to make sure she takes her prenatal vitamins.

We anticipate her due date to be December 10th. One day earlier than my partner's birthday. I have the sonogram picture and I look at it at least twice a day.

It's a Girl?...Well 75% chance!

2009-06-16T18:36:00.000-07:00

I'd like you to meet Emily. Her expected debut date is December 10th. The doctor told us based on the position of the baby, she believes her to be a girl. We are going back for another sonogram on July 7th to be absolutely sure.

I heard little Emily's heart beat and was even actually able to see her move her arms and legs. It was one of the most amazing experiences to see this little gal moving around in there.

Yes We Are, No We're Not, Ohhh.. YES WE ARE!

2009-06-04T19:47:00.001-07:00

Another installment of Fatherhood Fridays. I can't believe this week has come and gone so quickly. I suggest you take a little Internet trip to www.dad-blogs.com and check out what it's all about. It's a truly fun experience with fun and knowledgeable Dads and Moms.

The birth mom never had her abortion. She is 3 months pregnant with our son Andrew's potential brother or sister. I took her to a prenatal appointment today. It was tough! She has no medical insurance and I can not get her added on mine. So we spent most the day getting her set up with emergency insurance through welfare services and then we went to a doctor. Since this was her first real visit, they gave us tons of paperwork to complete, took a lot of blood samples and also a urine sample.

She has an OB appointment set up for June 16th at 9am (gotta take off work again) and then her Ultrasound on July 7th.

She had visited a doctor at another hospital about a week ago regarding her pregnancy and the doctor told her she could hold this baby full term provided she keeps her iron levels up. She has been very good at taking her iron pills.

After the long day of hospitals and welfare offices, we went out for a nice lunch. She is showing just a little at this point.

When I pick her up for her June 16th appointment, I'm going to surprise her and take her shopping for clothes after wards.

I asked her how come she did not suspect she was pregnant when she missed her first period and she told me she is still having her period and that in all her pregnancies (6)she has had her period up until her six month. Can this happen?..I was so surprised by this.

So we are back on the journey of having another baby. I can't believe it. I got to start thinking of names...again...

Happy Friday all

Graduation

2009-05-28T16:58:00.000-07:00

Well, our Jim (my partner's little brother)has graduated. It was a windy cold day in San Francisco the day of his graduation. It was held outside at a football field on San Francisco State Campus.

I was worried that Andrew would not want to sit still through the ceremony, but we were lucky that the professors kept their speeches relatively short. Jim looked fantastic in his cap and gown.

He came up to the bleachers to greet us (many of his family members attended) and he presented his brother (my partner) with a sash that is meant for parents of children that are graduating. I was so proud and I began to take a picture.

However, while I was taking a picture, Jim also presented me with on as well. I can't tell you how touched I was to get one too. I wore it proudly during the ceremony. I also got very teary eyed.

Since the economy is not all that great specifically in the job market, Jim has decided to continue on to get his masters degree.
After the ceremony we all went back to the house and ate, and ate, and ate. I even had a couple of Heineken's :D

Bilingual

2009-05-15T06:00:00.000-07:00

My son Andrew has been grasping words quickly. He does not have full pronunciation of words but you are able to recognize the word. Our family is speaking both English and Tagalog to him.
We visit the Philippines ever year and since my partner's family is Filipino, we thought it would be a good idea. It's not as useful to know Tagalog than lets say Spanish, but I think the introduction to more than one language (no matter what it is), makes learning languages in general easier.
Many children of other countries speak more than one language, some more than two languages. Our children, grow up (for the most part) speaking English. I say this with a bit of hesitance because even our English is far from perfect.
I can hear Andrew say Tagalog words and English words and I think it's awesome. I hear stories that it can actually delay speech in children when you are teaching them more than one language. I think the only real delay for Andrew is his pronunciation. There is one word he can say perfectly, and it's CUP. Yeah, that's right, CUP. I think he knows he says it very well because when I point to things, he gives his best effort to say the word. (Ball) "bo", (bath) "ba, ba", (Shoes) "CHHHZK"...but when I say CUP, he screams...."CUP". He pronounces the c and the p with so much emphasis and it's so much louder than the other words he says.
I had taken him to the grocery store two nights ago. They have a Starbucks inside the store. He saw cups and screamed "CUP" all throughout the store to the top of his lungs. I got a few interesting looks and a couple of jumps from people we were behind.
In Tagalog to say "I don't want" you would say Ayaw ko, but with slang ayoko (eye-yo-ko). I could have sworn when I asked Andrew if he was ready to eat, as he shook his head he said "ayaw". That is just tooo cool to hear.

Are teaching your child other languages? Do you purposely buy toys that speak various languages?

Our Jim is Graduating College!

2009-05-07T19:41:00.000-07:00

14 years ago, my partner's little brother stepped off his first plane ride. He had just arrived in San Francisco from the Philippines. It was very important for my partner to make sure his family was taken care of.
We all greeted him and off we went into the car.
At first, Jim was quiet but after he got to know you he would open up. His english was not great, but he understood a lot.
We wanted to give him a better life than what he would have had in the Philippines.

Jim, now 24, has grown into a smart, mature young man. He is a great son and brother and most especially a great Uncle to Andrew. Our son Andrew loves his Uncle Jim and get's so excited when he comes home. Andrew follows him all over the house.
For all those reasons above, we are so very proud of Jim but we are mostly proud because this month he is graduating San Francisco State with his B.A. I know that this happens every day for many kids...but he will be the first in my partner's family to graduate from a 4 year college.
Family from all over will be coming in next week for Jim's graduation.

This week, I dedicate FF to my partner's kid brother. We are so very proud of you and so very excited for your future.
I know there will be a time when Jim is going to want to leave his nest and start his own life. I hope it's not too soon. I don't think I'm ready for that. I think it will be harder on me than my partner.
Congratulations Jim! We love you and I personally thank you for giving us a test run so we know what to expect when Andrew becomes a teen. I hope we didn't make too many mistakes with you. (insert smiley face here). Also, don't be upset I used the above pic of you. It was one of my favorite school pics of you.

I Dedicate this FF to Dad-Blogs

2009-04-30T20:10:00.000-07:00

You have given me so much already. I have met really cool people! I have a place to laugh, learn and, at well needed times, escape. You have given me a chance to voice my opinions and read clever, funny and well thought out posts.

This blog site is more than just a, well..blog site. It gives people a chance to come together who ordinarily wouldn't. It's a positive place that allows you to be yourself without judgement. I've come to know some of you and call you my fellow blogger friends with great pride. I worship the quicksand you all stand on.

I welcome all of you that read my blog, to come by and see what it's all about. It is truly a great experience for anyone..not just dads, but anyone who has a family, so that's pretty much anyone!

I truly thank you, Joe and Pete for coming together and building a wonderful home with great rooms and a lot of character. I sometimes trip when you rearrange the furniture, but it's a nice bouncy foundation to help me land right back on my feet.

I will wear my dad-blog shirt with pride....once I buy one.

"Ouch Andrew, Gentle, Gennnnnnttttllllle"

2009-04-23T20:20:00.000-07:00

He has learned to hit. He hits his Grandma, his Auntie, his Uncle, and his two Daddies.
We've decided it is definitely not out of aggression..but more playful. The unfortunate thing now, is OUCH, it's starting to hurt.

Every time Andrew tries to hit, I say "no, Andrew, Gentle..gennnnnttllle". He loves to run toward you and lunge for you with both hands. Sometimes when you carry him, he will decide to give you a nice slap right in the face.

It takes all the strength inside not to laugh when it's my partner who is the victim. Something very funny about it, but we don't want to encourage him. I spoke to a few moms out there and they all claim to have suffered through this stage.

We have encouraged Andrew to throw a ball. He's really getting good and has developed quite an arm. Unfortunately, his aim and choice of object to throw could improve.
For example, we showed Andrew how to throw these:

He loves to come about 3 inches from you before he winds up and throws with all his might. These are not threatening as long as you are paying attention.

However, Andrew has not learned that not all objects should be thrown. For example, these have caused some bodily harm:

I've gotten hit with each of these objects, the one that hurt the most was the laptop. It's deceivingly very heavy and hard.
I say "No, Andrew, this is not a ball". Then I walk him to the ball (while I'm still holding the part of my body that suffered impact) and say "here, Andrew this is a ball, you can throw this".

Gosh, I hope he gets the picture soon. I really don't want any cracked front teeth. Have any of you parents gone through this yet?..Are we on the right track on dealing with this issue?. I don't want to pay too much attention to it because I want to avoid any sort of encouragement.

Baking Cupcakes..Wait, I CAN'T BAKE!!

2009-04-16T19:59:00.000-07:00

So, I am on a mission to become a good cupcake baker. I'm not talking from scratch folks, I'm talking Betty Crocker yellow cake mix, three eggs, a little oil and some water.
Each time I attempt, the cake part comes out fairly well. I am at the point where I do not over bake or under bake...I know by touch how the top of each cupcake should spring back after I tap it with my index finger. All is good, I'm a pro. (?)

I'm attempting to become an expert for my son. What little kid doesn't like a cupcakes..right?

Thursday night, I decided to bake another dozen cupcakes, but this time I decied to fill the cupcakes with cream and then just put a dot of icing on top. So I went to my favorite store in the world (Target) and bought myself a 14 piece baker's decorating set. It came with different size decorating tips, 4 disposable pastry bags and a cute plastic storage case. Andrew was sitting in the shopping cart. I looked at him and said, "oh Andrew, Daddy is making cupcakes for you!!"

I baked the cupcakes and they turned out golden..."Perfect", I said.

I mixed whip cream and marsh mellow cream together to get a nice thick consistency. After that, I looked at this plastic pastry bag, and the tips and did the best I could trying to fit it together. I carefully but mess-ily put the filling into the pastry bag by spoon. It was very difficult to keep the bag upright and open as I stuffed this thick white mixture into it. Not to mention, the mixture stuck to the spoon like instant cement, then the pastry bag and spoon would stick together making it almost impossible to cleanly fill it.
I got as much as I could in there and tried to squeeze the bag from top to bottom in an attempt to push the filling toward the tip. Kind of like the way we try to get the last bit of toothpaste.

I put the tip into the first cupcake and squeezed slowly. I heard a couple of popping sounds as if the bag is working out all the air bubbles (not a bad sign..right?). It appears to be filling. I went to the next cup cake and then to third and forth...but on the fifth cupcake, the poor little pastry bag could not take all the pressure of squeezing this thick mixture through such a pin size little tip and but I gave the very last squeeze anyway to get the filling into the cupcake, the bag split on the side and splattered clear across the kitchen hitting the stove top and also down my forearm. I watched as this white gunk slowly began moving down the side of the stove. I think I was stunned for a few seconds.
I stopped through the pastry bag out washed the kitchen stove, and below is my masterpiece.

Crap, my icing is melting...

Can you see the filling?..Look close, it's there...

Don't think I'm gonna give up...I may be broken down right now, but I will come back stronger, and this time I will read some instructions!

Some more pics of Andrew

2009-04-12T09:15:00.000-07:00

Here are the most recent pics of Andrew taken April 2009.

Happy Easter Everyone!!!!!

Andrew's Adoption Bear

2009-04-10T16:24:00.000-07:00

When we had the court appearance and my partner and I signed the official documents to finalize the adoption of Andrew, he was given a bear by the Judge.
We call this Andrew's adoption bear.
We call him the adoption bear to begin the words that he will soon become acquainted with when we discuss his adoption and what it means.
My partner and I told ourselves that this was going to be something he knew in his early development.

Some people say we are telling him this too early. I say BullSxxt. I don't want Andrew afraid of this word and he deserves to know the truth even before he can say the word on this own. AND..by the time he is able to write the word, he will be able to express what it means to him without being ashamed or without any fear.

Happy FF Day

Andrew and His Mommy

2009-04-05T16:20:00.000-07:00

Well, we had another great visit with Andrew's Mommy. This time we met her with her Dad (Andrew's Grandpa). It was wonderful to finally meet him. He is a very nice man. He bought Andrew some learning dvds which are awesome.
It was a beautiful day and after we ate lunch, we went to the beach. Please stay long enough to see the video clip and the pictures below.

We're Going To See Mama

2009-04-03T05:52:00.000-07:00

This Sunday is confirmed for a picnic in the park in the east bay (weather permitting) with Andrew's Birth mom.
I have been teaching Andrew how to say "mama" and showing him the picture of his mama. I ask him "Andrew, Who are we gonna see on Sunday?" and he replies "Mama, Mama, Mama". I can't wait for the birth mom to hear this for the first time. I hope she gets a warm feeling and a sense of belonging when Andrew looks at her and says "Mama".
Each visit gets better and better as we get to know each other better.
We only met the birth mom right after she gave birth and that was only for 15 to 20 minutes. She had chose us the day after she gave birth. Since then we have had three get-togethers.
I always get very excited before our visits because I can't wait to see the look in her eyes when she notices the milestones that our son has reached. She looks at him so intently and Andrew is beginning to know, this is his Mama.
My goal is to have her in Andrew's life as much as possible. Of course she needs to be in a good place in her life that will be a positive influence for Andrew. I am hopeful that she is getting her life together.
I have already invited her to Andrew's 2nd birthday (even though it's still so far away ...dec 23). We are having family from all over the country come and jam pack at our place to help us celebrate.
I'll be taking some pics and videos and will upload them on Sunday night.

Happy FF!!!!!

When Your Child Is Sick

2009-03-27T06:09:00.000-07:00

Well, I felt like Father Damien Karras from the Exorcist. "The power of Christ compels you!!".
My poor little baby coughing and spitting up, I was just waiting for his little head to spin. It's terrible because he can't blow his nose (15 months). You just sit and hope that when he sneezes, the "stuff" will come out.
We survived it and I just wish, I did not take the other line from the movie "Take Me, take me". I used to never get sick. My "other half" would get sick and I would get through it with out harm. But WOW...Andrew has gotten sick just a couple of times and each time, I've gotten sick as well.
I took a sick day yesterday (thurs) to try and recover from this flu/cold. I also was taking care of Andrew, who still has a little cough but doing much better. Yesterday, I was sooo dizzy and stuffed up...I was laying on the living room floor..Andrew had all his toys out and were surrounding me. I looked at him as he was just flinging the toys in the air and letting them drop where ever they drop (sometimes hitting me on the shoulder, leg or head), he had this big smile on his face, I just thought to myself "I wish he could get me a cup of tea".
Once my kid starts school, I have no idea what kind of stuff he will be bringing home with him, but I can count on the fact he will share the experience with me.

I'm back at work...still a little sick/stuffed up...but much better. Happy Father Friday Everyone!!!!

Say What?..Change Our Eating Habits??

2009-03-20T06:08:00.000-07:00

So my partner just got the results of his physical and his cholesterol is higher than me at my senior year high school graduation. (AND That's HIGH).

I have been trying to come up with decent meals that we can all eat together and it's getting hard to find ways to eat chicken. We have to cut red meats from the diet and were told fish and chicken were best. UMMM...I'm loosing some variety...not to mention, we are big on the snacking thing. I LOVE me some chips while watching some late night movies or Chili Cheese Corn Chips...YUMMY...so instead of just taking the crunchy comfy effect away from our snacking, I air pop popcorn with no salt, or cut up some apples, or have grapes...I'm not going to lie, I much prefer the chips by a long shot.

But y'all, I need some help. Last night I made stuffed green and red peppers. I put ground turkey, onions, mushrooms, diced chicken, a little tomato sauce, brown rice and some garlic..I guess it was ok..but I'm running out of low cholesterol stuff. I went online and looked at the web and I'm sorry..but some of these dishes are too complicated and time consuming. Since we both work, have a son, plus an unbelievable amount of responsibility/errands, I need some easy dishes, quick, and yet something I can play with to change up a little...you know, add some variety...

My partner is now on some kind of cholesterol medication and I hate this kind of thing. I want to get his cholesterol down so he can stop taking these meds. Especially ones that can harm other internal organs if taken off a long period of time.
Throw me some ideas. (kids gotta like this as well).