Comments for The Angry Black Woman

Comment on WisCon…This is How You Fail by Alexandra Erin

Alexandra Erin — Tue, 22 Jul 2014 13:49:05 +0000

I am so far from impressed with the Member Advocate. Nothing I’m hearing about her role in this is making me feel like she’s living up to the title. It feels like she’s more interested in defending the procedure and its product than in representing or protecting the members of WisCon.

Comment on That Time I Talked To A Rapist And He Was Such A Nice Guy by Another point of view

Another point of view — Wed, 29 May 2013 13:01:36 +0000

Maybe we shouldn’t be too shocked that he seemed nice. Rapists can be anyone who has sex with another person who wasn’t willing, but that doesn’t mean they’re violent or aggressive. It could be a person who misjudged the other person’s silence, shock or wasn’t paying attention to the victim’s reactions. It sounds like this man’s story is “date rape”, they don’t necessarily have to be on a date.

karnythia, I feel like I probably would’ve acted in the same way, so I don’t know why you seemed to be the target of his confession. I guess I would sit on the outside more often now. I think it’s quite safe to say that it was probably best you just seemingly calmly listened to him, reacting might not have done much because it seemed like that “nice guy” wasn’t really listening to you and drawing attention to him might make him act out and harm you.

Comment on That Time I Talked To A Rapist And He Was Such A Nice Guy by purpleartifice

purpleartifice — Tue, 28 May 2013 10:37:00 +0000

This is just fucking gross. I agree with all of the commenters here. though I’d go farther to say that he’s the type that doesn’t see anyone but himself as an actual person. Everyone else is to be used. His family and friends are only there to make him feel good. He said nothing to them because he knew that they would want nothing to do with him and he needs them to prove that he’s a “good person”. He saw the girl as a fuck toy and only feels bad because he got caught and punished.

I actually wish there was an automatic system for creeps like this. As soon as he sat next to you, a spike would have shot up from his seat and impaled him in the crotch! It would be amazing

Comment on The Terror of Black American Motherhood by Adande

Adande — Sun, 10 Feb 2013 07:34:02 +0000

Your article is on target. Though we as mothers share similar joys and trials with women throughout the world, being a black mother presents its own unique challenges. Institutional racism prevails. As black mothers the list of worries is endless: How will my child be treated at school by both nonblack teachers and their nonwhite classmates. How will they interpret the medias portrayal of them. Will they be denied employment opportunities because of the color of their skin or the texture of their hair. I could go on, but you get my drift.

Comment on That Time I Talked To A Rapist And He Was Such A Nice Guy by Aantal inwoners

Aantal inwoners — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 14:26:15 +0000

There are a lot of criminals who have 2 faces, and also a lot of non criminals, you think they are really sweet and never angry but you haven’t met them at home or in there private living situation… ofcourse a rapist can be nice , but he can’t get away with what he has done and he has to take the consequences… even if it was a mistake and he actually didn’t know what he was doing… he destroyed someones life and you gotta think about that!

Comment on That Time I Talked To A Rapist And He Was Such A Nice Guy by Katie

Katie — Mon, 28 Jan 2013 22:24:28 +0000

I just wanted to extend my deepest sympathies, Karnythia. This sounds quietly harrowing to have experienced and I appreciate your taking the time to write about it despite that fact.

Comment on That Time I Talked To A Rapist And He Was Such A Nice Guy by FX

FX — Mon, 14 Jan 2013 00:06:40 +0000

In reply to Jennie.

Because it never occurs to them that we were raised to be polite and too shocked to register what is really being said to us until long after the moment has passed.
I agree with this wholeheartedly.

Comment on That Time I Talked To A Rapist And He Was Such A Nice Guy by lkeke35

lkeke35 — Fri, 04 Jan 2013 22:44:47 +0000

Cara: I see your point. Due to my trusting nature (hah!) I didn’t see it that way but you may be right. That could simply be his version of “flashing”.(All the more insidious because it’s a lot quieter and sneakier than actual flashing.)

Comment on That Time I Talked To A Rapist And He Was Such A Nice Guy by Cara

Cara — Wed, 02 Jan 2013 19:31:49 +0000

Your lack of horrified reaction is the vindication he is looking for.

Because it never occurs to them that we were raised to be polite and too shocked to register what is really being said to us until long after the moment has passed.

Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if the guy knew full well that the reaction would be “too shocked” to get actively upset or leave.

I wouldn’t be surprised if the guy does this periodically to women alone on the bus. The story is too perfect–he committed a rape, but he’s already been punished for it so the woman doesn’t call the police, the woman is too shocked or afraid to make a scene. Exhibitionists flash, this guy gives a rape confession. His “niceness” beforehand could just be another part of his game.

Comment on That Time I Talked To A Rapist And He Was Such A Nice Guy by Jennie

Jennie — Thu, 27 Dec 2012 02:27:42 +0000

Men do this because they want “you” to validate them as being okay guys and not monsters by your tolerance or forgiving sympathy. At the very least, because you didn’t run away screaming makes his crimes seem less of a crime against all womanhood and more of an individual indiscretion. It wasn’t him and just *any* woman, you see. It was *that* female. Incidental. Isolated. Not him but her. Your lack of horrified reaction is the vindication he is looking for.

Because it never occurs to them that we were raised to be polite and too shocked to register what is really being said to us until long after the moment has passed.

As far as why he picked YOU? You probably reminded him of someone he wanted approval from. Maybe you look like that girl. Maybe you look like a female relative he is fond of. Maybe you look like an old girlfriend he wasn’t good to and lost a long time ago.

When men come up and dump crap like that on you in conversation, you are being used as a surrogate to try and assuage their guilty conscience. Your lack of overt horror or disgust was all he needed to believe it wasn’t really him that was the problem.