Depending on when/where, I come with a bias.  In an established location, I usually find a strong element of truth in the client’s issue.  In locations with new capabilities, the facts hide in someone’s perceptions.

There are two recurring themes.  First, do those involved want to know and understand the facts?  Frequently the answer is no.  They simply want the problems to go away.  Second, how does one respond to complex situations with simple answers?  Is there a way of knowing fact from fiction?

I wish that my clients were the only ones with the dilemma.  Internally the questions go unanswered. I struggle with this as an individual that sees more than I am willing to admit or deal with.  As I untangle myself from the crisis du jour, I find myself coming back to two mantras.

Life is rarely as complicated as I want to think it is.  As I begin to comprehend the problems and challenges holistically, I find that there are simple themes threading through each.  It is not always easy to see them.  Listening and reflecting is often the key to understanding.  Responding first is never the answer.

Discerning fact from fiction is often easier than it seems.  Is the person making the complaint willing to explain and be part of the solution?  If they are, the truth is rarely far away.  Even good intent and evil can be seen.  Old wisdom still prevails; “Here’s how you tell the difference between God’s children and the Devil’s children: The one who won’t practice righteous ways isn’t from God, nor is the one who won’t love brother or sister.  A simple test.”  (1 John 3.10)

Measures are more than just judgment.

I realize I may be a contrarian when it comes to this belief.  I accept that there are evil people in the world.  I find it problematic to extend this logic to the extent that I am able to see who is evil as distinct from who has/is stumbling.

As I reflect on the debates around me, from where we build a building with a particular label to the place where speeches are made, it appears that we have our grip on the idea that we are all members of God’s family.  I find myself holding several reminders.

We, without exclusions, filters, or boundaries, are God’s kids.  God adopted us, not the other way around.  In this context, “People conceived and brought into life by God don’t make a practice of sin.  How could they?  God’s seed is deep within them, making them who they are.  It’s not in the nature of the God-begotten to practice and parade sin.”  (1 John 3.9)  Individuals stumble, often getting lost for a period of time, yet each heart longs for God’s embrace through the individuals that are around them.

Each struggles with demons in the darkness of our souls.  To say otherwise is denying the reality we find ourselves in.  We may have created a few ourselves.  Regardless, the struggle continues.

Answers to life’s conundrums are difficult.  They are rarely as complex or problematic as they appear.

Today I can learn from others.  We can share our burdens.  We can walk, working to make a difference in the time and place we find ourselves.  Carpe diem.

This is a new experience for me.  The magnitude of our goals is not unique.  The scope is less than some of our competitors.  Even the breath of our vision is within our imaginations.  From my perspective, it is the combination of the magnitude, scope, and breath that is overwhelming.  In everyway, life is changing.

If I have any lessons that I could share, they would be along the following lines.

Life easily overwhelms individuals and community.  Whatever situation one is in, the quantity of information, data, and images floods our ability to understand and manage.  It is impossible to know everything.  If one looks back there is at least one moment where we could have done something better.  If one looks forward, the complexity and uncertainty of what we can see creates waves of doubt and uncertainty.  Even in the moment, one is unsure.

One has a choice in how one looks at others.  Does one presume positive intent or something else?  The assumption is critical.  It shapes how we look at others.  Are we in a battle?  Are we sharing burdens, walking together?

One has a choice in how one looks at the situation.  When things go a different way, do we compassionately inquire or express our judgment?  While linked to how we see others, this question is broader.  It asks how about our response to community, group decisions, and trends.

Underlying all is the battle between community and self.  I see God as the champion of community and the Devin as the champion of self.  In this context, “Those who make a practice of sin are straight from the Devil, the pioneer in the practice of sin. The Son of God entered the scene to abolish the Devil’s ways.”  (1 John 3.8)

Today is a choice.

On one hand, I know why I am doing what I am doing.  I deeply care about the family.  The sense of responsibility and accountability that my parents and extended family imprinted in me when I was young is absolute.  There are times I wish I had a more carefree attitude towards everything in life.  Yet, I know that I am who and what I am.

In the dark moments of the night, I find myself examining life from the inside out.  There are interesting characters in my life!  Some I understand.  Others are puzzles that refused to be solved.

I know my situation is not unique.  There are many in variations of the same story.  I have come to accept that the hassles I face are relatively small compared to the pain and uncertainty others live with everyday.

I hear the whisper of advice offered centuries ago.  “So, my dear children, don’t let anyone divert you from the truth.  It’s the person who acts right who is right, just as we see it lived out in our righteous Messiah.”  (1 John 3.7)  The words carry an approach I would do well to hold onto.

Life is never defined by the pain or evil in our lives.  It is described by our actions in the course of an ordinary day.

Life is textured by the actions of others, yet another’s story is not yours or mine.  Our story is told by our relationships and what we do in and with them.

Life is in itself neither good nor bad, it simply is.  What makes life good or bad is the way we live.  We tell the story.  We present the details and heart of the story in our choices.

We choose the words for today’s story.

Very few people intend to fail.  Regardless of how one approaches work, I have not found anyone that starts out thinking they are going to fail.  Even those that take on impossible assignments think there is a possibility of succeeding.

I realize that there are those around me that are failing.  If I am going to avoid the worst scenario then I need to understand the reasons behind the fall.  As I think of the possibilities, the following lessons stand out.

It is important to listen.  While I know there are people with evil intents, most hope others succeed.  Communities tend to offer help to each other.  In order for the voices to make a difference, someone needs to hear with their heart as well as their mind.

When an awareness of what can be done better is there, action is the only response that makes it real.  I can hear the echo of a Wisdom Father’s words across time; “No one who lives deeply in Christ makes a practice of sin.  None of those who do practice sin have taken a good look at Christ.  They’ve got him all backward.”  (1 John 3.6)

It is never enough to listen once.  One must hear and hear again.  One must hear deeply and in the heart.  One must open one’s self up to the possibility of reaching higher.  The strong take these helpful gifts and give them life, repeatedly.

My worst-case option is that my audience simply does not care.  They listen in silence, responding to any distraction.  Whatever response I get, I pray that they care.  We need to need each other.

Frankly, I am amazed that they are willing to imagine that there are gaps in their thinking.  The natural process, at least for me, is to imagine that I already know what somebody is trying to tell me.

I know there is much that I do not know.  I know, at least that is what I want them to believe.  In reality, I know that I do not know.  However, I do not let the person presenting ideas know this.  It is a strange game played in reflection of my competitive spirit and ego.

There is a powerful alternative.  Today I will spend if with individuals confident enough to say they may not know.  While I find it puzzling, I also know that there are direct outcomes of their transparent statements.  Being open creates a door for more.

Noting is too obvious or should be considered assumed.  There is a sincere desire to get on the same page.  They want to be able to speak in my language.  They are hoping that I am willing to learn theirs.  It is a pattern all great students adopt.  Teachers start from the beginning.  Colleagues meet on equal footing.  It is process of learning and leveraging our diversity.

Communities have practice it, although not as much now as in times past.  When someone said, “Surely you know that Christ showed up in order to get rid of sin.  There is no sin in him, and sin is not part of his program.”  (1 John 3.5)  It was not a put-down.  It was part of a conversation where every question was without bounds.  Answers were given because they were wanted.

It is a model for today.

The friendly banter moved to the idea that food was best when shared.  I went to far to suggest that a house rule should always apply.  Anything on anyone’s plate was fair game for anyone else at the table with asking.  I could see eyes of curiosity and wonder sparkle around the table.

One to my left turned and said, with a humorous laugh in his voice and twinkle in his eyes, “what is on my plate is mine.”

I took it as a playful reminder that not everyone willingly shares.

Life has lines.  My blissful arrogance cost me in the time that followed.  I selfishly assumed everyone wanted to share.  My naïve premise went on to say that if they did not willingly share, they should share.  Turning the “I” to my left into my own “I”, the matter proceeded to get worse.

In a careless act of bad humor, I nicked a portion of his starter.  The growl that followed was heard with a framework of humor and fun.  It was a similar action during dessert and the response that followed that brought reality to my mythology.  I had forgotten the wisdom line; “All who indulge in a sinful life are dangerously lawless, for sin is a major disruption of God’s order.”  (1 John 3.4)  The dinner’s intent was, for the one on my left, destroyed.  I had crossed the line.

The walk back along the shoreline was eerily quiet.  I knew there was something that I needed to correct.  I had no idea where this would or could go.  I know that I could not undo the moments that had passed.  They were done.  I could do something now if I was willing to go back across the line.

I see examples of courage around me.  Embracing the best of the other takes courage, especially if it is a community center and Mosque in lower Manhattan.  Implementing a new business model takes courage, especially when the individuals that should be supporting the process are focused on personal agendas.  Staying true to yourself takes courage, especially if there is a risk that your community will reject you.

Courage is never easy. Life can be harsh.  Life extracts a price from everyone.  Each struggles in the hell of her/his creation.  Courage, by definition, requires belief, trust, and the willingness to act when everything is at stake.

I would like to remind you that courage, in itself, has its own reward.  I find that exercising courage brings hope.  Hope in turn gives courage the energy to go on.

Calls to courage take many forms.  One approach is as a Wisdom Father; “All of us who look forward to his [God’s] Coming stay ready, with the glistening purity of Jesus’ life as a model for our own.”  (1 John 3.3)  Another is as a cheerleader.  “Stand up!  We represent all that is good and true!  Our cause is noble.  Our purpose is honorable.”

Life and living can be defined by our response to calls to courage.  It is in this, that I find the underlying truth to courage.  Being courageous is not something I do for myself.  Others may benefit, however the motivation comes from within.  It is my response to a call to belief.  It is the outcome of trusting in what I hold to be true.  It is a reflection of the call we have to make (be) a difference.

Great acts of courage come in the quiet moments of the day when nobody notices what I am doing.

What is the rationale for doing what I am doing?  Do I know?  Have I asked?

If I look closely in the mirror, I find two themes emerging.

First, the tangible outcomes to what I am doing are factors.  They may not be the ultimate ones, however they are significant.  Financials, the fact the opportunity is real, and the rewards of belonging to a community pull me towards an ongoing “yes”.

As strong as these factors are, I think there is more to process.  At the core, the reasons we choose to take on a role and stay in the position centers on who and what we are.  I am, followed by a description of some length.  The actions that I take, my job, my focus, and how I exercise my freedom, are our way of embracing the “I am” statement.  We do it because of our need to be true to ourselves.

When there is a conflict, we are not happy in our job.  Lots of reasons come into the frame.  At the center of each is the dissonance between what the reason represents and “who and what” I am.

When I read on spiritual writers observation, “Friends, that’s exactly who we are: children of God. And that’s only the beginning. Who knows how we’ll end up! What we know is that when Christ is openly revealed, we’ll see him—and in seeing him, become like him.”  (1 John 3.2)  I realize that many spiritual people are not true to themselves.

Life is about embracing the “whom” and “what” of our lives.  We open the door to the possible.  We can take any action. We can be whatever we aspire to be.

If the energy level of the people in the room increases, especially positively, then the idea is understood and true.  If the energy level is neutral, the flag indicates that it could be a lack of understanding.  Alternatively, the idea may be slightly off/out of focus.  If the energy level is negative, all bets are off.  The idea may be bad, misunderstood, or out of sync with the community’s priorities.

Two reminders keep emerging from this premise.  To start with, the usefulness of the flag is directly proportional to the honesty I bring to seeing and understanding its meaning.  If I want to deceive myself, the flag will help me accomplish that goal while being useless.  Being willing to look at the truth takes courage, commitment, and openness.

The second reminder centers on what I do when the flag signals something good – tell others.  From old times to now, the theme emerges.  I look at how one writer captured the scene; “What marvelous love the Father has extended to us! Just look at it—we’re called children of God! That’s who we really are. But that’s also why the world doesn’t recognize us or take us seriously, because it has no idea who he is or what he’s up to.”  (1 John 3.1)  I recognize the great service ideas and progress that we are making in working together.  We should celebrate!  We should also share the news with others.

Seeing the moment at hand with clarity is a discovery in itself.  Knowing what to do with it is equally important.  Life keeps reminding us of the mantras.  See life honestly.  Celebrate truth.  Share truth.

Today is an opportunity to live big.  Life is willing to help us see clearly.  We can choose to celebrate the good.  We can share and invite others to join our community.