Aaron's Journal

Being A Mother

2009-01-13T18:25:00.003+08:00

A good read for all of you (that leaves you out, Adam!).

After 17 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, "I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you."

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my mother, who has been alone for 20 years, but the demands of my work and my two boys had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.

That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.

"What's wrong, aren't you well," she asked.

My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.

"I thought it would be pleasant to spend some time with you," I responded. "Just the two of us." She thought about it for a moment, and then said, "I would like that very much."

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last birthday on November 19th.

She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angels. "I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed," she said, as she got into that new white van. "They can't wait to hear about our date".

We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. "It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said. "Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor," I responded.

During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation-nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie.

As we arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you." I agreed.

"How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home. "Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her.

Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined. An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son."

At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: "I love you" and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till "some other time."
Somebody said it takes about 6 weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby... somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, "normal" is history.
Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct... somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.
Somebody said being a mother is boring... somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.
Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child will "turn out good"... somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.
Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother... somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.
Somebody said you can't love the second child as much as you love the first... somebody doesn't have two children.
Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery... somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten... or on a plane headed for military "boot camp".
Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married... somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings.
Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home... somebody never had grandchildren.
Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her... somebody isn't a mother.

He Ain't Heavy, He's Aaron Loke

2008-10-08T14:59:00.005+08:00

It's been some time since we have updated Aaron's blog. Young couples these days should wonder how our parents managed to care for multiple kids in the past! It's either going to cost you or take much of your effort to manage two already! Well, maybe you can argue that families with more kids have a more frugal standard of living, but I'll leave that to another post later.

Our second boy has been a blessing to our family. It's hard not to compare children, but Aaron has been a easier baby to handle. It may have been the lack of using BabyPlus, lower expectations, or having experienced the first one already. The confinement period was a breeze as he ticked like clockwork - sleep, wake up, feed, poo, repeat.

By the time he was two months old and for every subsequent pediatrician visit, Aaron has been breaking records in terms of physical growth. Each time we weigh him and measure his length, the pediatrician would tell us that he has broken the maxima for weight and length according to the Asian child development chart.

No, we don't feed him lots of milk although he has been taking 6 ounces since the early months. Breastmilk helps in lots of ways, but the results vary and certainly does not apply to Aaron since he was weaned after the second month. He doesn't go the gym either...

But one thing's for sure, everyone who sees him tells us how chubby and handsome he is. I'll show you one of his best shots.

At his age now, he gets curious about the world around him and pays special attention to his bigger brother. When we carry him, he prefers to face front by shifting his torso to let us know. With one arm under his bum and the other in front of his chest, it gets very difficult to carry him for long! Believe it or not, we get wrist sprains carrying this baby!

Mummy calls him her "biji", meaning a small unit or ball. Wanna hug my little biji? :)

His Name Shall Be Aaron

2007-12-30T16:31:00.000+08:00

Well, after the shocking news from the previous post, we now know that the little fella inside is going to be a boy. So, Gabriel is going to have a little brother to play with, yaay!

Over the past few months, he has been growing steadily and rather restlessly. This guy kicks and spins even more aggressively than Gabriel when he was little. His feet could be felt almost at the waist-side. Sometimes, I like to call the movements similar to the movie "Alien" hehe.

We've had some difficulty sometime ago, but with much prayer and protection from God, we trust Him that we should be OK.

Gabriel has learnt about his new companion as we keep telling him about the baby. Now he shows affection to the young one by stroking mummy's tummy and watching him on the ultrasound scans. He's going to have a blast with this guy, sharing with him all his cars, robots and books.

We are in the last trimester already, and watching out for his arrival around Chinese New Year. Till then, let us share with you our second son's name:

Aaron - a(a)-ron, pronounced AIR-an. From the Hebrew word "har-on", meaning "mountain of strength" or "exalted one".

Major News - Sex of Baby Confirmed!

2007-10-03T17:41:00.000+08:00

We went to the Pantai Hospital in Bangsar yesterday for our scheduled check-up.

Since the doctor was fully booked out till end of the month for the detailed ultrasound scan, we opted for the standard scan and blood test.

I rushed to the hospital during lunch hour to meet my family there. When I went in to the doctor's room, the scan was already done and they have confirmed the sex of the baby.

Wanna know what it is?

It's a boy!

Technorati Tags: preganancy, hospital, pantai hospital, checkup, ultrasound scan, sex of baby, gender of baby

First Movement Felt in Womb

2007-09-25T14:19:00.000+08:00

Last week, we just felt Kayla's first movement in mummy's womb. Like Gabriel, this one's an active kicker! Soon, we should be able to see her swim and spin all around.

We are due for the next checkup sometime this week or the next, and we should be able to see the sex of our baby.

Don't worry, we will keep you in suspense even after we know! Hahaha!

Technorati Tags: baby, foetus, development, kayla, trimester two, pregnancy, first movement

Bandar Puteri Puchong Gynae Visit

2007-08-09T01:59:00.000+08:00

Our second visit to a gynae for our new baby was to a clinic in Bandar Puteri Puchong on Tuesday night. There are four doctors who are affiliated with various hospitals for delivery. The doctor we chose to consult performs his deliveries at Sunway Medical.

The clinic is located at the corner of a row of shops facing the six lane highway plying between Puchong and Putrajaya. It is also the row where the middle unit is a showroom for the new properties being developed behind this commercial area. A long flight of stairs lead up to the clinic, while an Indian coffee shop occupies the ground floor.

The walls of the clinic are sparsely populated with articles and advertisements. Lighting is fair but the choice of furniture and decor are ordinarily uninspiring. The corridor to the toilet is better lit, but is fairly maintained. The weighing scale is analog.

The clinic seems to take pride in their 3D/4D ultrasound scanning equipment, which we are not very fond of. We do not intend to use it often as we don't think frequent use is healthy to our baby. The machine looks quite sophisticated but probably not as good as the one in the posh clinic at KK Hospital in Singapore.

Our little one is now 4.2cm long! And wow, was she wiggling around!

We're pleased to know that she is developing well and is probably about 11 weeks old. This means that our expected delivery date may be in late February 2008 instead of March. We won't know for sure but we'll just let God take care of things.

However, the gynae isn't very comprehensive compared to the Pantai one. He kept asking us if we have any more questions. Standard procedure but not enough personal touch and comfort level. One important advantage these doctors have is that they are available after office hours on weekdays.

We have to continue searching as it is still very early. I must remember to get a ultrasound printout the next round...

Technorati Tags: pregnancy, clinic, bandar puteri puchong, gynaecologist, gynae, ultrasound

First Gynae Appointment

2007-07-12T12:22:00.000+08:00

We have shortlisted a number of gynaecologists and hospitals in the Klang Valley which we shall be evaluating over the next few months before we choose one we are most comfortable with.

Our first visit was to Pantai Medical Centre near Bangsar on Monday 9 July 2007. The appointment time was 11am, but we only managed to see the gynae at 2pm. The facilities look old, the food so-so, but the gynae was polite and informative.

Drive from home to PMC takes about 35 minutes, and the hospital has valet service (free?). I heard that its gynae services are the most expensive in the region, possibly because they are very pro-baby. We will have to see if their facilities are good enough and all staff are capable and easy to deal with.

The first ultrasound scan showed the foetus sac but no prominent foetal features such as the heart. The estimated diameter was 2.5cm.

Our next hospitals are Subang Jaya Medical Centre and Sunway Medical Centre. My preference is Sunway, which was where Gabriel was born, but not the same doc again!

Technorati Tags: pregnancy, hospital, pantai medical centre, gynaecologist, gynae, ultrasound