My friends over at the Geek Girls Network are throwing a zombie bash and I wanted to help spread the viru.. er word!

Here is what we dug up fresh from their site:

“GGN ZOMIE WEEK(s) kicks off on October 19th 2009!

Zombies are a big part of the geek pop culture. Practically every geek I have ever met has at least a minute affection for the fictional brain-eating anomalies. Maybe we love them because zombies are the most probably horror scenario. Maybe we love them because of the gore, violence, and sheer chaos they cause. Or maybe we love them, because we secretly wish for a zombie apocalypse just so we have a reason not to show up for work on Monday.

In honor of zombie fandom, GGN will be providing blog posts, links, news, events, videos and prizes! Here’s an overview of awesomeness to expect:”

Wanna know what the prizes are?  Hit the button below to check out their site for more details!

Sure ya do!  Here’s how:

Head over to www.ZombieMall.com (our main page) and Register with an account.  It’s that simple! Be sure to use your real information otherwise when it comes time to ship, we won’t know where to send it.

You don’t have to purchase anything, but if you see something you just gotta have, buy it!

The CD will be shipped out to the winner on October 19th to ensure it arrives before Halloween!

Stay Scary!s

Okay, it breaks down like this…

A) It’s my birthday.

2) ZombieLand came out on my birthday.

C) You really think a guy who owns www.ZombieMall.com is not going to go out and see a movie called ZombieLand on opening day???

In essence ZombieLand is about 4 people who have survived the zombie breakout.

We have Tallahassee / Florida who is played by Woody Harrellson, a man on the edge of madness.  He harbors an anger that he taps into in order to get by.  He also has a major craving for Twinkies.

We have Columbus, the young virgin-video-game-playing geek played by Jesse Eisenberg.

We have Witchita, a protective big sister (played by Emma Stone) to Little Rock (her younger sister played by Abigail Breslin).

And a guest appearance (I’m not going to name names here, you just gotta go see it for yourself).

This movie has been compared to an American version of Shaun of the Dead.  Trust me, ZombieLand far surpasses anything Shaun of the Dead could ever hope to be.  Perhaps SotD was full of British humor that I simply did not get.  ZombieLand was chock full of humor that seemed to be tailor fitted to me specifically.

I could identify with both Tallahassee and Columbus on many notes, which is again why I felt such a strong connection to the comedy within.  Seriously, some of the stuff that happens, I’ve gone through the exact same things (well sortav, Slupree search instead of Twinkie search).

The soundtrack kicks ass however, I cannot seem to find it for sale anywhere, not at Wal-Mart, not at Target, not at Best Buy, not on Amazon, nowhere.

There is a little snippet at the end after the credits.  I’ll have to see the movie again to see exactly what was said, but something is there.

All in all, now that you’ve read this, get up and rush out the door to go see ZombieLand now.

Seriously, go now.

I can honestly state that after today’s viewing my faith in good cinema has been restored.

Midnight Meat Train stars Bradley Cooper, Brooke Shields, Vinnie Jones, Leslie Bibb, among others.  There is also a cameo by Sam Raimi’s little brother Ted Raimi.

We find ourselves watching a very well dressed man hunting down the passengers of a late night subway train.  All of the killings actually take place after 2:00 AM, so I’m a little confused why it’s called Midnight Meat Train, but I digress..  He kills with the use of a large meat hammer and wears a ring with a star upon one of his fingers.

Leon, a photographer is tasked with taking the best photograph of his life, to capture the “heart of the city”.  With this he heads down into the bowels of the subway system to find this mythical photograph.  He finds a gang harassing a girl and Leon saves her with some smooth talking.  He reads the newspaper the next morning only to find that the girl was a famous model and she has gone missing. He photographs her as she gets into the subway train, a hand is also captures in the photograph. (name one famous model that goes about without an escourt)

Leon starts to investigate, more or less moving his search for the ultimate photograph aside, and finds that there have been other people who have gone missing.  His investigations take him back to the subway where he follows the well dressed man and photographs him.  Leon begins to suspect it is this man that is doing the killings as he compares the photgraphs he has taken and finds that the ring with the star is on the hand holding the door open for the model is the same ring this well dressed man wears.

Leon tries to show the police the photographs but the cop becomes suspecious of Leon instead.  Leon decides to continue his investigations himself without help from the authorities.  He follows the well dressed man and finds that he works as a butcher in a meat factory, then follows him to the subway.  At about 2:00 AM Leon watches as the well dressed man enters a subway car, he follows, though into a different car.  Shortly thereafter Leon witnesses the well dressed man killing a few different passengers and then hangs them on meat hooks.

Leon takes photos of all of this, but is seen by the well dressed man.  The chase begins and Leon is caught, then passes out after being attacked.  He comes to, is hanging upside down, and is molested by what I can only figure is some kind of demon.  A large marking is cut into Leon’s chest.  He awakens the next morning in the basement of the butcher shop, confused why he was not killed he goes to his girlfriend’s apartment.

She is none too happy and urges him to give up on his investigation.  Leon cannot let it go and explains what he saw the night before.  She pleads for him to take the photos to the authorities but the camera was taken.  Leon leaves but now has a new mission.  He is going to put a stop to this butcher.  He has put together that the train offloads the human meat and it is there that Leon is going to end this.

Meanwhile, his girlfriend (Maya) and another friend (Jurgis) find the butcher’s (the well dressed man) apartment and break in to steal back the camera.  The butcher returns while they are there and attacks Maya’s friend Jurgis.  Maya runs and tries to explain things to the cop (The same one that Leon spoke with earlier).  Again the cop won’t listen and tries to pin the killings on that Leon may be the one doing it. Maya threatens the cop and is told about the midnight train.  It is there that Maya now goes.

Maya enters the train, Leon sees her and enters just as the butcher is about to attack her.  Leon attacks the butcher and tosses him out of the speeding train.  The train soon stops and Leon and Maya find themselves deep underground. 

They exit the train, there is a battle with the butcher, Maya is injured, Leon kills the butcher. The conductor enters the scene and begins to explain what is actually going on.

Evidently, if human meat is not provided to these certain underground demons, they will rise to the surface and begin to really make a mess of things.  He futher explains that it is the butcher’s job to make sure they get fed each night.

He then rips out Leon’s tongue, eats it, then tears out Maya’s heart.  He then explains that with the old butcher killed, it is now Leon’s job to take over.

I will say this though, I am going to try and find Clive Barker’s Volume 1: Book of Blood in which this story originally appears.  I’d love to know what the actual story has to say.

A few things to keep in mind when watching this for the first time:

Yes, it is in Swedish.  Yes, it does have English Subtitles (and English dubbing for those that don’t like to read). 

On a small screen the words in the beginning are very tiny.  There is no sound during the first bit so don’t worry that there is something wrong with the audio.  Once you get to the falling snow give it a few more moments and you will hear a childs voice saying “Squeal like a pig”.  No, you are not watching Deliverance.

Having watched many Vampire movies, this one is perhaps one of the more unique ones.  It really makes me thirst to read the book as there are several elements within the movie that give rise to several questions.

In essence we have a young boy, Oskar, (12 years old) who is tormented at school by bullies.  A …”girl”… , Eli, moves in next door to his apartment.  Oskar’s mother and father are divorced, which further leads to Oskar’s turmoil.  One evening while on a playground he meets up with Eli who is also 12 years old (more or less).  Oskar notes she has a bad smell about her.  He is playing with a Rubick’s Cube and she inquires about it.  He offers it to her and goes home.  A friendship has begun.

As we progress, they continue to meet at night in the playground.  He explains to her about being bullied at school, she tells him next time to stand his ground and to hit hard.  He states there are 3 bullies.  She says to hit them back even harder.

While we do see Eli having to go out to feed, the focus is less upon the aspect of your traditional vampire flick and more focused upon these two kids developing a friendship.  This is one that I will not give away anything else, it is a movie I highly recommend. 

There are many more elements to this film, what I’ve provided is simply a brief cover of it.  It’s not a fast paced movie, in fact it’s rather slow.  But that’s what helps to build to suspence and horror of what happens. 

ZombieMall gives this one 10 fangs out of 10.

I’m sure that Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen was also among that list, but I’m pretty sure I never read it. I’ll admit when I was younger my taste in books was usually found in works by Stephen King, Clive Barker, Richard Matheson and the like. Dracula, Frankenstein, Voyage of the Space Beagle, classics, but admittingly, darker classics. If it had monsters in it, chances are I was reading it.

It’s a good bet that if Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters was on that list I would have read it. Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters is the second book to come out from Quirk Classics in which a classic of Jane Austen’s has been developed into an adaptation of sorts. The first being Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith (keep your eyes out here by the way for a review of that one from ZombieMall as well).

What Ben H. Winters has done is taken the original novel and has injected pirates, giant lobsters, two-headed sea serpents, and of course massive sea monsters, all while staying true to the original theme of Austen’s writings, romance, heartbreak, and lasting happiness. This book features “60% Austen and 40% additional monster chaos!”.

What I find fascinating is after the read there is a readers discussion guide consisting of 10 questions and observations brought up within the novel itself. Seriously, this is an element that I immediately found myself jumping into! I just wish I had someone else to call up and talk with in regards to those questions! Damnit, I was ready to jump right in and start discussing this book!

This is the synopsis provided with the sell sheet:

“As out story opens, the Dashwood sisters are evicted from their childhood home and sent to live on a mysterious island full of savage creatures and dark secrets. While sensible Elinor falls in love with Edward Ferrars, her romantic sister Marianne is courted by both the handsome Willoughby and the hideous man-monster Colonel Brandon. Can the Dashwood sisters triumph over meddlesome matriarchs and unscrupulous rogues to find true love? Or will they fall prey to the tentacles that are forever snapping at their heels?”

Here is what ZombieMall will add to that; If you are into Lovecraft, enjoy pirates and sea monsters, can’t get enough steampunk (yes steampunk), then look no further than Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters. There are several deaths in the first few pages as well as blood stained beaches. There is a wonderful “city” deep under sea, a large living island, and much much more. If you are looking for an escape into a different reality, this is certainly the book for you.

Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters is set to be released on September 15th.
It is in Paperback and runs at 344 pages and has a retail price of $12.95 US Dollars.
It should be available at places like Amazon and all of your major book stores.

Check this out! It’s a trailer for the book!

There are two things that made this interview especially fun. The first, while we talked about his current movie projects, Indestructible and his upcomming Silent Vengeance, we also delved into his beginnings and how his visit came to be what it is today. The second, listen closely to the interview, interspersed within are some pretty creepy sounds. I can’t go into too much detail where we actually did the interview, but suffice it to say there was plenty of blood and chopping of bodies…

You can find more about him at Dark Night Films and on his Matt Spease MySpace Page.

“Halloween comes early this year.”

I been sayin’ that shit for years.  And if you ever heard it, it meant you were in for a real treat.  This year, I’m not so sure…

Rob Zombie’s Halloween II

8/28/09

11:00 AM Showing

I arrive at the movie theatre, the one that is less visited because it’s not as posh as the one with the stadium seats.  And that’s fine by me.  Less people to have to worry about ruining my movie experience.

I shell out $7.00 for a ticket and the guy tells me that they won’t open the doors for another 15 minutes.  No worries.

I stand outside, looking at the posters.  A fellow approaches the ticket booth and gets 1 ticket for the same movie I am to see.  He then asks if they are serving breakfast.  That idea is kindav funny and when he steps away from the ticket booth I make small talk with him, telling him about a place I used to go down in Florida where they serve hot-dogs, hamburgers, pizza, beer, and the like, all while you sit at a table and watch your movie.  They actually bring the food to you.  In fact, the location in Florida is no longer there, but it has moved over to the campus of Zombie University - The Metro Cinema Cafe.  But I digress.  This guy is a movie enthusiest just like myself.  He is going for the experience of the movie, not just to turn off his brain.  I could not have stated it better.

With that the doors open and in we march.  There are about 7 of us in all at this point.  I am the first to the concessions.  I get a large Pibb-Xtra - $4.55, and walk in to find my seat with a $1.00 box of contraband candy in my front pocket.  I sit down, good seat.

I lift my Pibb and toast the screen saying; “Here’s to hoping it don’t suck.”

From behind me I hear; “I want to sit closer.  I want Jason to come out of the screen and get me!”

Whoah.  Wait a second.  Hold up.  Hold the fucking phone.  Jason?  Jason???  What movie do you think this is???

Damn amature.

But that statement does bother me.  I am reminded of the previews for Halloween II in which Michael’s mom appears to him all dressed in white.  “You’ve got to bring them all home this year baby.”

Fuck.  Rob Zombie better not pull that shit.  We already that with the original Friday the 13th part 2 movie.  Jason’s mom appearing to him telling to kill them all.  Kill them all Jason, kill them all.  Damnit.  Jason.  Damnit.  Jason…

And with that I now endure the commercials.  All 9 of them.

Previews:

Saw 6 Teaser - cool

Law Abiding Citizen - cool

Jennifer’s Body - undecided

The Stepfather (remake) - undecided

Alice in Wonderland - cool

Youth in Revolt - looks funny

Then the movie starts.

Words appear on screen telling us of a White Horse and it’s meaning when seen in dreams…  We then have a short flashback to Deborah and young Michael Myers are back in the psychiatric hospital where mom brings him a present.  It’s a white horse.  He explains to her that it reminds him of a dream he had where she was going to take him home. (it’s a different kid actor that plays MM by the way).

We then fast forward to 15 years later, just a few moments after the 1st movie ended.  Laurie is walking down the street covered in blood… this is where my critique will begin…

Sheriff Bracket pulls up behind her, evidently there is only 1 road in Haddonfield. 

Fartknockers!  This is going to be a damn movie where everything happens with convenience.  The ambulance taking Michael Myers body away hits a cow and that somehow wakes him up.  He kills a guy and walks towards a vision of his mother and a white horse.

Laurie is now in the hospital along with Annie.  We see massive injuries and doctors trying to save them.  We then see Laurie wake up and start hobbling the hall of the hospital.  She finds Annie’s room right off.  Hmm.  I’m kindav getting worried now.  No, not for the characters, for the movie.  Things are too convenient.  For some reason I’m thinking, this is a dream sequence.  A nurse finds Laurie in Annie’s room, and starts to escort her back to her room.  She gets called to the emergency room.  Wow, that’s gonna leave Laurie all alone!  I’ll bet Myers pops out really soon!

Sure enough, after killing the nurse (and MM makes grunts and hrrrughs! as he kills, bah!  He is suposed to be effing silent!) here he comes right after Laurie!  She stumbles down stairs, crossing bodies Myers has killed, and finds herself out in the rain.  Then in a guard shack.  All the while Myers slowly stalking her.

The guard of the shack is killed, Myer’s busts in and brings his knife down into Laurie!

Oh wait… That was just a dream!

We are now 1 year after the 1st movie.  Well, October 29th, 30, and 31st.

Okay, so now we learn Lauris is plagued by bad dreams and sees a shrink (Lois Lane).  Loomis has become an asshole celebrity who is convinved that Michael Myers is dead, despite his body having never been found.  I guess he was never told that one of the ambulance drivers head was cut off (maybe they thought it was lopped off as a result of the wreck?). 

Blah stuff happens, MM kills some people, somehow has a radar to find his sister.  He’s been living in a farm house and eating dog all this time.

Laurie discovers via Loomis’ book that she is actually Angel Myers, Michael’s sister.  She freaks out and decides she wants to get drunk.  She goes with some friends to a party and, well, parties.

Michael tracks her there, kills one of her friends then is magically whisked over to Annie’s house.  He attacks Annie.

Laurie has a vision while awake of Myers grabbing her.  He other friend decides it is time to take her home.  They can’t find the other friend so they don’t worry about her.

They arrive at Annie’s house (Laurie is living there during the movie) only to find Annie is brutally hurt.  Laurie tells her friend to call 911.  She does and then is killed by Michael.  Annie dies in Laurie’s arms.  Michael starts to go after Laurie.  She runs out of the house and takes off into the woods.

Cops arrive at the house and Sheriff Brackett finds his dead daughter.  Another cop tells him an eye witness saw Myers take a girl into a barn in the woods.  They all take off to the barn, complete with helicopter with spotlight.

Meanwhile, Dr. Loomis is in his hotel watching an interview of himself, when the news interrupts and tells that the belived killed Michael Myers and taken hostage his sister and is in a barn in the woods.  Cops surround the bard with a helicopter overhead.

Seriously, the next scene, I mean it, like 2 seconds later, Loomis is at the barn!

Loomis waltzes in, Myers kills him (I guess) and he grabs Laurie.  The Sheriff shoots Myers with a sniper rifle, Myers falls back onto sharp equipment.  Laurie grabs the knife from Myers and stabs him close to about 13 times, then a couple of times in the face.  She leaves the knife in his head.

She walks out wearing the mask, and kneals down on the ground.

Final scene, Long white room, Laurie is sitting on the bed in white jammies.  She looks up to the far end of the room and sees Deborah and the white horse.

Que clasic Halloween music, Laurie gives us an evil smile, fade to black.

Typical setup to a Halloween III:  Season of the Witch.  Yep.  You know it’ll happen.

When I first walked out I was somewhat impressed.  After having thought about it for a few hours, I’m actually kindav pissed.

1) Michael Myers does not grunt and moan.  I realize RZ was trying to take it in a different direction, but you are adding crap after you have already established the character.  Gotta keep with that continuity from the 1st film.

B) Mommy shows up in visions.  Already saw it in Friday the 13th.  Damnit, I wanted something original.  Not hash-fed crap from another slasher flick.

C) Dr. loomis is a totally different character.  In the 1st movie he actually cared what happened.  He realized what had to be done and did it.  In this one, he’s an asshole looking to be famous.  He does not care about the people involved, just exploits them.

4) How did Michael Myers get from the party to Annie’s house so fast?

5) How did Dr. Loomis get from his hotel room to the barn in the middle of the woods so fast?

F) There just happened to be a cow in the middle of the road for the ambulance to crash in to so that Myers could get free.

Damn I could go on and on, but why bother.  Go see the movie, then come back here and tell me what you think.  Please tell me I saw a different movie than you did.

8/21/09

6:50 PM

Damn trash bag wearing chick and her ghetto poser boyfriend try to break in line, trying to skip ahead of about 30 people.

6:30 AM

I am in my car heading out of town to go to work.  I’ve been called to cover for a person who has decided to stop showing up for work.  No worries though, I’ll be done by Noon and will be able to go to the theatre in that town to see Inglourious Basterds.  Nothing will stop me from seeing this movie today!

12:30 PM

Noon-thirty rolls around and I’m back in my car heading to the theatre.

I pull up only to see that they are closed and will not open until 6:00 PM.  WTF???  I know it’s a small town I’m in, but damnit it’s not that freakin tiny!  Okay, kids are in school, but damnit I’m not!  I want to see my movie!  And I was thinking of seeing District 9 after Inglourious Basterds!  A Double Feature!  I drive off to return home quoting a line from IB:

Nein! Nein! Nein! Nein! Nein!

4:50 PM

A double feature is out of the question.  But I can still make the 7 o’clock showing of IB.  I could drive 45 minutes to the big Rave theatre and see it in a jam-packed location or I could go to the joint just around the corner from my house.  The seats are not stadium, but it’s comfortable enough and I know not too many will be there.  Next thing I know I’m getting out of my car and buying my ticket.

6:15 PM

I got to the theatre early, I can’t help it.  That’s my nature.  I cannot stand getting there “right on time” or even late.  I have to be early.  Only 1 other person is there at this point.  I wander around the lobby looking at movie posters and watching the popcorn machine overflow with popcorn.

6:30 PM

I’ve been taken for a ride at the concession stand.  Small popcorn = $4.55, Drink = $4.55.  Wow.  And stupid me, I paid for it.  Three people are in line now, time for me to get rambling.

6:40 PM

Wow, in the span of about 10 minutes the place has filled up pretty good.  They are not letting us into the theatre yet, the previous showing is still going on.  In just a few moments they tell us.

6:45 PM

A guy dressed up in designer shorts, a hat with flat brim on backwards, and white white shoes, along with his girlfriend who looks like she is wearing a black platic bag for a dress try to go in.  They get stopped and are told Inglourious Basterds is not yet seating.  It will be a few moments.  The usher then motions them towards the line of people waiting to get in.  Instead of going to the end of the line they simply push up against the other side of the hallway wall.

6:50 PM

Damn trash bag wearing chick and her ghetto poser boyfriend try to break in line, trying to skip ahead of about 30 people.  Fuck em, I’m not letting em cut in front of me.  She reaches her hand out and shoves her ticket into the ushers hand ahead of mine, I then shove my ticket in.  They make a move to pass me, I turn and look and say..

“No way dude.  Zombies don’t belive in cutting in line.  We eat brains when that shit happens.”

He just looked at me, I kept on walking.

6:55 PM

Movie starts in 5 minutes.  I got a good seat, no videos in front of the movie, just a dinky slideshow.  No music either.  I learned that at age 12 Hulk Hogan (the wrestler) was 6 foot tall and weighed almost 200 pounds.

7:00 PM

Lights go down movie starts.  Of course that’s a lie.  Gotta watch some damn commercials.  Traps like rats and forced to watch advertisements.  There were 8 in all.  WTF??  At least there wa sno damn Kid Rock video for the National Guard.  Previews were next.  They were:  Inception (a Matrix style looking movie), The Wolfman (Benicio Del Toro is the lead in this one), Armored ( some guys try to rob an armored car full of money), Disney’s A Christmas Carol in 3D (Jim Carrey), and Halloween 2 (Rob Zombie’s newest chapter).

7:25 PM

The movie finally starts.  I’ve decided to try to take some notes on the important parts of the film, something I’ve not done before.  I feel it’s going to be especially helpful with a Quentin Tarantino film, mainly because I want to see the connections between this film and his previous ones.

Let’s get started with the film itself already!

Chapter 1:

1941

Once upon a time in Nazi occupied France…

During this chapter I notice that the main German SS guy, Hans Landa, asks for a glass of milk.  He drinks it all-to-gone, which is similar to what Jules does in Pulp Fiction (think Tasty Beverage here).  Which is to say, I’m gonna drink this and watch you watching me drink this, and that means when I’m done, you are fucked.

I keep getting a strange feeling that something bad is about to happen.  Literally, my harms are all tingly.

Yep, all hell breaks loose here, Landa gives the order to murder Jews that are hiding in the celler.  One however, gets away… to…

Chapter 2:

There are loads of music clips, rearrangements really from Kill Bill in this chapter.  Samuel L Jackson does a voice over narration.  A character is introduced, Donny Donowitz.  This name is the same last name as a film director that is in QT’s movie, True Romance.  Possible relation?  I think so.  Lee Donowitz is the director’s name in True Romance.  There is also a “trunk up” shot in this chapter, although it’s done while not actually being in a trunk…

Chapter 3:

1944

The lady from Chapter 1 escaped, we see she is a few years older and evidently owns a movie theatre.  She had a lover, a black man, by the name of Marcel (possible ancestor of Marcellus Wallace?).  There is a random “doggy style sex scene” that takes place between two people, lasts about 2 seconds.  If you blinked, you missed it.  Not sure what the point of that shot was for.

Chapter 4:

There is something written in Stigletz’s knife.  I cannot make it out.  There is a shoot out that takes place in a bar that is underground.  It reminds me of the final shootout scene in True Romance.

Chapter 5:

Harvey Keitel is the voice on the other end of the radio.

Final Thoughts from ZombieMall.

If this was a film done by any other director I probably would not have liked it at all.  With that said, at the end of the day it was just another movie.  Nothing too terribly special.  I was really disappointed in that there were not too many other tie-ins with Tarantino’s other movies.  I recall years ago hearing about how there was a Vega ancestor that was in World War II.  We know from the famous Christoper Walkin scene in Pulp Fiction, that Dane Coolidge wore a gold watch in World War II.  Red Apples?  There were plenty of smokes shown in the movie, I never saw one reference to Red Apples. 

I’m really disappointed that during the 2 hour and 30 minute movie, the Basterds were in it all of about 30 minutes!  This should have been called “A movie about a French Chick” instead.

Bah.  Bah I say.  Bah.

I have two versions, Regular and Delux.  What’s the difference?  Well, the Regular version has a highly detailed border, whereas the Delux version has an embossed foil edging.  The cost difference is $6.00 (because the Delux version costs ME more). 

Both versions come with an embossed foil star.

Both versions will be hand signed upon purchase, and both can be customized to include your Degree of Choice, your Name of Choice, and your Year of Graduation of Choice!

Check em out (click the picture to go to the order page and for more details):

 (Delux Version)

(Regular Version)