Air-Tran flight was pretty nice. XM Satellite radio so I got to listen to EsPn radio while the plane bounced around in the clouds. The smooth sounds of Freddie Colman kept me from concentrating on the plane crashing. Decent looking bar maids on the flight would have helped, but they made the decision to hire girls that were kicked out of Jenny Craig for smuggling sliders into meetings. And they bitched at me because my bag was overweight.

I took the time to watch the Ultimate Fighter on Spike TV last week, the Internet fist de cuffs sensation Kimbo Slice was in the…….cage? Some fat guy laid on him for two rounds until they stopped the “fight” Kimbo is finding out that it’s much harder to fight a guy that does it for a living as opposed to an over weight bouncer or some other drunk in the back yard. Kimbo needs to employ the Sugar Ray Leonard strategy and run the fuck away from his opponent until they get tired of chasing, then start punching.

Why the hell did I pay $8 for a beer at the airport?

Is Phillip Rivers the bastard son of Frank Burns? Beer at the hotel only $7.50, what a deal.

#4rulz. Was it a good decision for Brad Childress to cast aside two QB’s like a fat chick at the bar to get to her hot friend? #4 isn’t the only reason they’re winning, but T Jackson wouldn’t have made that throw against the 49rrrrrrs. And who would have given a shit if that guy named after a spice started against the Packers? #4 jersey is the best selling in the 38-42 shoe salesman demographic.

What was Braylon Edwards really thinking when he heard about the trade to NYJ? Holy shat I’m out of Cleveland I’m out of Cleveland. The other two guys involved in that trade didn’t do so well. How long before Cleveland understands why the Jets fired Eric Mangini?

The waiter at the Mexican restaurant tonight forgot to charge me for that $4.50 bottled beer. Things are looking up.

Bucs bench QB Leftwich, promote Johnson (AP)
Surprise surprise Byron Leftwich sucks. Tampa Bay could have saved themselves time and money by reviewing some Jaguar footage. He looked good as a backup for a good team last year, but put an average QB on a bad team…. Don’t worry Tampa, Kansas City too feels your pain.
Good news though, they found another Johnson. That Johnson farm must be near the Detmer family farm.

Jets WR Clowney was benched for tweeting (AP)
Does that mean what I think it means? Not that there’s anything wrong with that….

Pennington has dislocated shoulder (AP)
Is this guy made out of glass? The Dolphins are now worried about opposing teams stacking the box(that sounds like a truck stop term)to stop the run. The Dolphins have Ronnie Brown and Weed in the backfield, the other guy named Chad needs to practice handing the ball to them. Pat White should start stretching now.

Jauron: Bills to get T.O. more involved (AP)
Have they not been trying to do that? Did they get him just so they could get their names in the paper or make the pre season Sports Center highlight reel? 5 catches for 98 yards in 3 games. Second stringer Josh Reed and third stringer Steve Johnson(no relation) have 10 catches each. I can see TO picking out a spot in the new driveway to do push ups.

As Edmonton Eskimos defensive tackle Xzavie Jackson marched toward teammate Aaron Fiacconi on Thursday, general manager Danny Maciocia stepped into his path. The GM gently put his hand on Jackson’s chest and gestured toward the shovel.

“I just said, ‘What are you planning on doing with that? Do you realize the repercussions?”‘ Maciocia said Friday. “I’m almost sure he had already come to that conclusion.”

“I don’t think he would have carried out an incident where he would have swung a shovel and tried to strike someone,” he said.

The bizarre fight began when Fiacconi, the starting center and a CFL veteran, was working out at three-quarters speed while Jackson, a spot starter and practice-squad player, was going at a faster tempo.

After a bit of banging, Fiacconi began punching Jackson. No teammates intervened and Jackson, a former Missouri star who had stints with the Philadelphia Eagles and Cincinnati Bengals, thundered away.

As Jackson yelled and whipped off his practice jersey, he walked past a nearby dumpster. He spotted a long-handled metal shovel, grabbed it and headed back at Fiacconi.

Jackson rejoined the Eskimos at practice Friday, sporting sunglasses and a bandage over a swollen eye.

“I’m very disappointed,” he said. “That’s not me. That’s not my character. I know I could’ve made a better choice. I’ve apologized to my teammates and that’s all.”

Fiacconi accepted the apology.

“We’ve made our peace,” he said. “In the end, I doubt he would have done something with the implement.”

The burglary suspect had been released from prison Saturday, Guglielmi said.

This is a good reason to keep that Samurai Sword the Wife says is cluttering up the house.

Clicky HERE to give RSB Fantasy football a try. One lucky team owner will get to meet or is it meat? Anyway you will get to throw one back with our very own Nyquilazilla.

A source close to Brett Favre said the quarterback, pending a physical, will sign a contract with the Minnesota Vikings for between $10 million to $12 million, according to ESPN senior NFL analyst Chris Mortensen.

If this information is true, does anybody really give a corn filled shat?

How many people were going to pick Sage Rosenfels to be on their Fantasy Football Squad?

Since he’s not slow and white will T. Jackson now be demoted to running the “Wild Leif Eriksson ” offense?

What financial/fashion opportunities does this open up for the Wrangler Jeans company in St. Paul?

Why won’t this case of the crabs named Favre go away?

$12 mill will buy a big freakin’ boat and a team of Phillipino hookers to take care of your barnacles.

Fantasy Football Leagues on sale, better than Yahoo because we give you free beer(it’s only virtual beer. PBR served warm in a dirty glass).

Multiple stories floating around that the Arena Football League is on the brink of……..I was going to say irrelevancy but has the AFL ever been relevant?

The league was formed in 1987 and has produced such NFL talent like Kurt Warner and…..well, I think that just about sums up that discussion.

The AFL hasn’t closed it’s doors just yet, the franchises in New Orleans and LA have shut down operations but there are still 15 teams. The mighty EspN is a minority owner in the AFL, and they show several of the games including the Arena Bowl. Do you think Esssspn will let the league fail, or is this just an attempt to get some much needed publicity for the league?

NFL Europe shut down last year, I think two football leagues in this short of a time span is bad for the economy and society in general. It’s not a good idea for former football players to be released into the workforce. Just think of how many orders they’ll futz up at Taco Bell, and how many children will be in danger because the crossing guard doesn’t know which side of the sign says STOP.

Please Arena Football League don’t shut down, please do it for the children.

Clicky HERE to read about an RSB Fantasy NFL Commissioner League. Then Clicky one of the other links to setup your NO OBLIGATION Commissioner League. Take it for a test drive, if you like it you’ve found a new home for you and those bastards from accounting to play Fantasy Football. If you don’t like it we both walk away like Opie Cunningham.

Andy Petit, Jason Giambi, Alex Rodriguez all got pinched and they each said “yes I did, I’m a dumb ass and here is my story…..”

But some guys get caught with their dick in the neighbor’s cat, then try to deny that they’ve ever screwed the neighbor’s cat.

I’m speaking of course about David Ortiz and his needle in the ass buddy Manny Ramirez. Both were recently outed by the New York Times as being closet homosexuals (not that there’s anything wrong with that) and that they tested positive for something in 2003 putting their names on “The List”. Which I guess is different than the Mitchell Report, that didn’t list Ortiz or Ramirez. Funny how that report failed to list two Red Sox players, maybe it has something to do with Mitchell being listed as a front office “Officer” for the Red Sox and at the time the Sox were in the middle of a Championship run? Maybe.

So what did Big Papi have to say after he got popped?
It’s time to break out the Little Orphan Annie Decoder Badge


“Today I was informed by a reporter that I was on the 2003 list of MLB players to test positive for performance-enhancing substances. This happened right before our game, and the news blindsided me.”

Translation: Dammit! I paid George Mitchell a lot of cash to keep my name out of any steroid discussion! Crap, should I go all Sammy Sosa and forget the English language?

“I want to talk about this situation and I will as soon as I have more answers. In the meantime I want to let you know how I am approaching this situation.”

Translation: Dammit! I bought George Mitchell a big ass boat to throw those test results in the trash. Who am I kidding I don’t have any answers, I’m not even sure I understand the question. No wait, don’t resort to Sosa mode just yet.

“I have just been told that the report is true. Based on the way I have lived my life, I am surprised to learn I tested positive.”

Translation: Ay Carumba! Now I have to take one up the Âne for that Bâtard Manny.

“Two, I will find out what I tested positive for. And, three, based on whatever I learn, I will share this information with my club and the public. You know me — I will not hide and I will not make excuses.”

Translation: Je pourrais me donner un coup de pied dans l’âne pour quitter mon whizzinator dans la voiture ce jour-là, j’ai cru que j’avais ingéré assez de ces comprimés detox et du lait de chèvre à l’imbécile n’importe quelle épreuve de médicament.

Oh shat he went Sosa. Let me tweak the badge a little bit, set it in between Spanish and gibberish.

Translation: I could kick myself in the ass for leaving my whizzinator in the car that day, I thought I had ingested enough of those detox pills and goat’s milk to fool any drug test.

RSB Fantasy Football Commissioner League. Big Sale, or Grande Vente for those of you who have suddenly forgotten the English Language.