BYU Women's Services and Resources

10-Day Happiness Challenge 2014 • Day 10: Spirituality

noreply@blogger.com (BYU Women's Services) — Thu, 13 Nov 2014 21:50:00 +0000

When I was asked to write for this challenge, I looked at the lists of topics (which all are

amazing), but decided to pick my favorite one, spirituality. I choose this one not only because it’s something I strive for daily, but because I know that being spiritual and having the spirit with you is the number one thing that makes any woman beautiful! Sheri Dew said it best when she stated, “No amount of time in front of the mirror will make us as attractive as does having the Holy Ghost with us.” To that I say AMEN!!

I think the first time I learned the lesson that spirituality truly makes you beautiful is when I was around 16 years old. My teenage years were unique, in the sense that I was diagnosed with Lupus at the age of 14 and spent most of the years of 14-18 in and out of the hospital. Needless to say, the medications and treatments I underwent did not make me feel beautiful at all. I constantly battled with low self esteem and not feeling good enough. I often looked at myself and thought, “No, I am not beautiful.” Then one day I arrived a bit early to seminary and was sitting around waiting for class to start, when some random member (not normally there) walked past the door of the class. A few seconds later, he reappeared in the doorway and told me that he felt my countenance and my inner glow just walking past the door and had to turn back and tell me how beautiful I was. That day I was taught one of the greatest lessons of my life, that true beauty comes from being a righteous daughter of God. True beauty stems from being spiritual, from reading the scriptures, praying, going to church, and keeping covenants. So thanks to that random brother (whose name I do not know) for teaching me one of the greatest and most cherished lessons. I know that when we focus on being spiritual that our countenance shines, our inner beauty glows, and everyone around us can see that.

On my challenge day I decided to focus on two things to help increase my spiritually, more meaningful prayers and more intent behind what I study in the scriptures. In Moroni it states that we need to pray with all energy of heart. To be honest, I have better days than others with that--usually impacted by my tiredness level. So on my challenge day I decided that I am going to have more meaningful prayers and talk with Heavenly Father about anything and everything in my life. I also decided that I was going to write down questions and focus on these questions as I studied the scriptures and some conference talks.

After completing this challenge, I truly saw that the more meaningful my prayers the more meaningful answers I received. I found myself praying more throughout the day (lots of time just silently in my mind or heart), but that alone kept me more spiritually focused and joyful throughout the day. I was also able to reflect more on my scripture study because there was more purpose behind it, I didn’t just read to read. I was studying the scriptures and seeking direction and guidance, which helped me remember my purpose as a daughter of God and helped me stay focused on the gospel throughout my daily routine. I felt encircled by the gospel and was simply, happier. One of my co-workers asked me if something extra special happened since she saw I was happier than normal, and I told her that I’m just having a good spiritual day! Focusing on being spiritual truly impacts every aspect of one’s life. I felt a difference as I constantly remembered the Savior and the gospel, and tried to align my life with gospel living every moment of the day.

Being spiritual and a woman of God is something that takes consistent effort. It would be wonderful if we could just wake up and be spiritual giants, but that is not how it works. I know that every day we have to make the effort to communicate with our Father in Heaven, read and study the scriptures, and take time to do other edifying and uplifting things. Being a daughter of God is the best title that we can have (and we all have it)! Striving daily to be a righteous and strong women in the gospel is one of the most worthwhile goals we can have in our lives. I know something changes within us when we embrace spirituality and make it essential to our daily living. It will change your life when you decide that being spiritual and putting the gospel first is the most important thing. Your countenance will truly glow and your inner beauty will shine. People will walk past you and know that there is something beautiful and special about you. Let us all strive to be more spiritual and I know as we do this we will all see amazing changes in our lives. Be spiritual, be amazing, be happy, be you!

by Natalie Hansen

Don't forget to come to the 10-Day Closing Celebration happening TONIGHT at 5:00 in the Wilkinson Center Terrace. Hank Smith will speak on "The Science of Happiness" and we will hand out FREE Beautiful T-Shirts to challenge participants! Click HERE for more info.

10-Day Happiness Challenge 2014 • Day 9: Gratitude

noreply@blogger.com (BYU Women's Services) — Wed, 12 Nov 2014 21:41:00 +0000

Who doesn’t love life’s sweetness? Sweets are everywhere and reasons to celebrate are, too. The season of celebrations is just beginning. My deepest desires are to create meaningful memories in every minute, before, during, and after. How do I know what will be meaningful? I dive into my past—sights, sounds, smells, feelings. There I see mostly simple pleasures: literally driving over the river and through the snow to Grandma’s house; her small home with barely enough room; pies cooling in the window sill; and the beautiful china, empty and piled high, waiting for the hands to wash them.

Why are these memories so meaningful? Because of the love that I felt then and now feel all over again. And I feel grateful and blessed. It’s no surprise to me that gratitude is one of the deepest, richest, and beautiful colors of love.

I absolutely love thank you notes. I love shopping for them, finding the right design that speaks to me, and adding them to my stash. My mind immediately starts thinking of people I could send them to, my heart is grateful and my mouth smiles. I admit that some of my thank you’s are now sent via email, yet the nobility of handwriting a note calls to me. There’s an art to selecting the pen, touching it to the card, and letting the ink form the carefully selected words. It is a spiritual experience for me, one that makes me better.

In my kitchen window is a tin picture frame that holds recent thank you notes I’ve received. It serves as a daily reminder that I have in some small way helped another feel grateful. Of course, I save them and read them from time to time. When the cards begin to discolor from the sunlight or water splashes from the sink, I know it’s time to step up my efforts to spread gratitude.

I believe in journals. I’ve kept one most of my life. Years ago, the idea of a gratitude journal became quite popular. When I first heard Oprah talking about it with author Sarah Ban Breathnach, I knew this was a true principle. I bought several and gave them as gifts. One friend in particular was on my mind. Her happy, giving self that attracted me to her friendship had changed. She had become deeply sad, broken, and self-absorbed because of emotional wounds at home. I gave her a journal with Oprah’s challenge and witnessed an amazing rejuvenation of her soul. It was profound proof to me that living daily with a grateful heart carries amazing power—power to heal, to feel love, and to color life.

When my children were small, I took them to a family member’s home to spend the night. As we were settling them in, the mother gathered the children for prayer and invited each one to say three things they were grateful for that day. I could tell that this was a nightly routine for her family because her children were ready to share. What an effect this had on me! I realized that teaching my young children how to live with a grateful heart didn’t require more than this simple practice.

In college, I read The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom, a girl of the Holocaust. Her sister Betsie’s example of living with gratitude has served as a standard for me. When the sisters were moved to Barracks 28, Corrie was horrified by the fact that their reeking, straw-bed platforms swarmed with fleas. How could they live in such a place?

It was Betsie who discovered God's answer:

"'"Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus." That's it, Corrie! That's His answer. "Give thanks in all circumstances!" That's what we can do. We can start right now to thank God for every single thing about this new barracks!'

"I stared at her; then around me at the dark, foul-aired room…"

They thanked God for the fact they were together. They thanked God they had a Bible. They even thanked God for the horrible crowds of prisoners, that more people would be able to hear God's Word. And then, Betsie thanked God for the fleas.

"The fleas! This was too much. 'Betsie, there's no way even God can make me grateful for a flea.'

"'"Give thanks in all circumstances,"' she quoted. 'It doesn't say, "in pleasant circumstances." Fleas are part of this place where God has put us.'

"And so we stood between tiers of bunks and gave thanks for fleas. But this time I was sure Betsie was wrong."

It turned out that Betsie was not wrong; the fleas were a nuisance, but a blessing after all. The women were able to have Bible studies in the barracks with a great deal of freedom, never bothered by supervisors coming in and harassing them. They finally discovered that it was the fleas that kept those supervisors out.

Through those fleas, God protected the women from abuse and harassment. Dozens of desperate women were free to hear the comforting, hope-giving Word of God. Through those fleas, God protected the women from much worse things and made sure they had their deepest, truest needs met. (See http://www.khouse.org/enews_article/2009/1544)

In my late teens, I received personal counsel to offer thanks to God through the practice of fasting when I recognize great blessings in my life. I found myself asking what blessings have I received and which ones aren’t great?! Because I have learned that blessings always come, even in the midst of great struggle, I continue this practice today.

Putting effort into seeing life through the lens of gratitude is worth it. Results are real. My family knows I am a better woman, wife, mother, and friend.

There’s more! Scientific proof is strong for the positive effects of living gratefully. Read on. (See http://www.templeton.org/grateful)

by JaLee Jackson Clarke

JanaLe is married to her sweetheart Shayne and they have 5 children and 8 grandchildren with one on the way.

10-Day Happiness Challenge 2014 • Day 8: Creativity

noreply@blogger.com (BYU Women's Services) — Tue, 11 Nov 2014 22:28:00 +0000

HGTV. I’m positive that I’ve spent way too many hours of my life watching that channel. I can’t help it. It’s addictive. It doesn’t matter which show is on, whether it’s Rehab Addict, Love it or List It, Property Brothers, or Flip or Flop, I love it. I can’t get enough. There are a lot of reasons I love these shows, including the fact that I just bought my first home about a year ago and spend a lot of my free time fixing up my fixer-upper. However, truthfully, I really love it because I love seeing beautiful things created from a vision that people have and then seeing those visions come to life. It constantly inspires me and challenges me to think outside my scope of ideas.

I’ve always been the person in my family and circle of friends that they pin as “the creative one.” I studied interior design in the Home and Family Living major at BYU, then attended a professional floral design school in the Los Angeles area. There is almost nothing that I love more in life than creating beautiful things. Let’s get real though, I’m not a Pinterest crafter by any means, in fact, I fall much more frequently into the category of Pinterest fails. My use of the words “beautiful things” means so much more than making perfect wreaths for every holiday or homemade rolls with bunny faces. Creating beauty can be done in an infinite number of ways. Creativity is boundless. I truly believe that, as with all things in life, our creativity and creative potential is only limited by self-imposed bounds, including comparison and self-doubt, both of which are tools of the devil to bring us down. Don’t let him do that to you!

Creative endeavors are my outlet, my cathartic release in life. This challenge, to practice your passion, was a fun topic for me to write about. For the past two months I have been remodeling my kitchen. It originally started out as a project to just update my flooring. However, life got really stressful between work, family trials, personal chronic health issues, and what my one piece project was supposed to be, turned into knocking out a wall, changing the entire kitchen layout, ripping up the floor, putting in new countertops and a backsplash, finishing off with new baseboards and finish molding and trim all around. As I said, creating something is my outlet, so when things started piling up and stressing me out, my project got bigger and bigger, followed by that project becoming more and more fulfilling. Every time I walk into my kitchen now I feel this overwhelming sense of pride and accomplishment at what I was able to create.

Everyone has a vision. Everyone has the desire to create something, and that usually doesn’t even mean creating something tangible with your hands. On Monday, November 3^rd, I was lucky enough to participate in an all-day strategy and structure meeting with some colleagues. It was by far one of the most mentally creative and challenging brainstorming sessions I’ve been a part of in a long time. It was inspiring and uplifting and caused a lot of growth in everyone who participated. Take the challenge today, to practice your passion and embark on some creative adventure. That doesn’t mean you have to remodel your kitchen or make turkey shaped dinner rolls for Thanksgiving, just find something simple, something to spark your creative juices. Even if you don’t feel like you have a creative bone in your body, or you don’t dance or sing or paint, take a chance to seek out a new creative experience and recapture the beauty that is already inherently yours.

by Beth Lindorf
LDS Philanthropies

10-Day Happiness Challenge 2014 • Day 7: Humility

noreply@blogger.com (BYU Women's Services) — Tue, 11 Nov 2014 20:32:00 +0000

A few years ago, pride was taking over my life. It siphoned joy away from me for months as I found fault in others and gossiped, succumbed to envy and jealousy, and struggled to be happy for the people around me—even the ones I claimed to care about the most.

Pride had become my way of dealing with my own crippling, warped sense of self-worth, and when I truly saw the person I was becoming, I wanted to do everything I could think of to be less prideful. I tried to be as small, unobtrusive, inoffensive, and yielding as I could; I minimized my talents, deflected attention away from myself, and absorbed belittling comments and treatment. Because that’s what humility is, right? Not seeking for praise or recognition, knowing that you’re less than the dust of the earth, and so on and so forth? That’s how I understood it, anyhow. I thought I was doing the right thing.

The only problem was that this so-called “right” thing wasn’t making me very happy. This thing was just making me feel fragmented and empty and insignificant, and every bit as terrible as I’d felt before.

It was a classic case of over-correction. Sure, I’d tried to be less prideful, but somehow I’d botched my attempt at humility, and had made it all about me.

Oh, the irony.

The reality, I came to see, is that humility isn’t about me. It isn’t even about the people around me.

Humility is all about God.

Humility is knowing who I am in God’s eyes, that He made me just the way I am—strengths, weaknesses, talents, appearance, personality—for a reason. It’s knowing how much He loves and values me, and loving and valuing myself because I know He does. It’s knowing that He knows my greatest potential and wants to help me achieve it by making the most of everything He gives me, good or bad.

Humility is knowing that if these things are true for me, they are true for every person with whom I come in contact—that every person I meet is a child and a creation of God, that He cares and hopes for them as much as He cares and hopes for me.

Humility is not, and never has been, about making ourselves feel small. It has always been about understanding how great God is, and how much we do—and can—depend on Him. It’s about trusting Him and His purposes in our lives.

I wouldn’t dare say that I’ve got humility all figured out, or that I’m devoid of pride, because that’s eons from the truth. But beginning to understand more of who God is and who I am to Him has made my life so much easier and happier.

Because I know who He is, I can be happy with who I am, and with the life I have been blessed to lead because I know who is in charge, and I know I can trust Him.

10-Day Happiness Challenge 2014 • Day 5: Confidence

noreply@blogger.com (BYU Women's Services) — Sat, 08 Nov 2014 17:00:00 +0000

Remember that scene from The Sound of Music when Maria is leaving the convent to go help the Captain and his children, and she starts singing, “I have Confidence?” She starts off a little nervous, questioning her ability, and then she gradually gets more and more sure of herself and her ability, that by the end of her musical scene she is bursting with so much confidence? What a powerful scene!

How I wish every girl and woman could feel that way at all times!

But, I know it’s not always easy. There are people and certain experiences in our life that may have chipped away some of our self-efficacy and self-esteem. Shoot. We may have been the person to tell ourselves something negative. I’m here to tell you that you need to ignore all that. Ignore the people who say you aren’t capable. Ignore the people and the voice in your head that say you aren’t good enough. Forget those instances where you may have failed at something. Get up. Brush it off and try again. That will build your confidence. Living in a hole where you never try anything again won’t. Living so that you never speak up with confidence will not strengthen your confidence.

I love the quote in the challenge: Confidence is like a muscle: the more you use it, the stronger it gets! So get to it, my lady friends.

I’m also here to tell you that you are good enough. You are capable and you are smart enough. Who am I to tell you that? Who is this random chick trying to boost your ego? I’m your sister in the gospel and I believe in you. I believe in women. I believe that no woman should ever feel less than good enough or unable to perform a task.

And you know what else? God believes in you.

What, you ask, can you do to be that confident person that God intended you to be?

In D&C 121:45 it says, “Let they bowels also be full of charity towards all men…let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God” (D&C 121:45).

I love how this scripture first addresses the importance of charity towards others. The pure love of Christ can help you gain confidence! Say what?

Go serve others. Go help your roommates, your family, and the random person on the street. Get out of your mind and serve. Christ was constantly ridiculed, mocked, questioned during his ministry, but at the same time he was also serving others. I like to believe that he was able to combat the negative comments and actions by others because he was helping others, feeding them, healing them, and teaching them.

I know that we don’t have the ability to feed 5000 people or raise people form the dead, but I know we can find smaller, more simpler ways to lift someone’s burden. “When ye are in the service of your fellow beings, ye are in the service of your God” (Mosiah2:17). And when you are serving Heavenly Father and his children, how can you not feel confident? How can you not feel God’s and our Saviors love for you, so that you are bursting with self-love, self-acceptance, self-respect, and self-confidence?

On a less spiritual side, here are some other to dos that will hopefully help you on your journey to a more confident you:

1) Look at things you have already achieved and accomplished. Take a moment and ponder the things you have done in life. No matter how small or insignificant it may seem. Write it down. Look at it often.

2) What are your strengths? Focus on those! Are you a great listener? Are you a great writer? Do you cook well? Can you do awesome impressions? Are you a loyal friend?

3) What is important to you? Where do you want to be and go? I’m really into setting goals and making them happen. It helps me feel accomplished I think that it’s a great way to build our confidence, too! Set your goals, create a plan of attack, and go make it a reality.

4) No more negative self-talk. That has GOT TO GO, girlfriend! No excuses. YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. AND YOU CAN DO IT.

I leave you with one final thought:

Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” ~Dr. Seuss

by Kjell Crowe

10-Day Happiness Challenge 2014 • Day 4: Forgiveness

noreply@blogger.com (BYU Women's Services) — Wed, 05 Nov 2014 22:28:00 +0000

It’s the hardest thing to give away
And the last thing on your mind today
It always goes to those who don’t deserve
It’s the opposite of how you feel
When the pain they caused is just too real
Takes everything you have to just say the word….
Forgiveness
(Matthew West, Forgiveness)

I learned at a young age to forgive. It just never felt right to go on hating someone, regardless of what they did to me. The pain usually involved something petty or based on miscommunication. Don’t get me wrong, it takes time to process feelings and frustrations; however, holding on to pain never does anyone any good. In fact it makes my life worse. I cannot find happiness while my thoughts are consumed with bitterness and hatred for other people. While I have never had to deal with a major tragedy, such as a drunk driver killing my family, (Check out this man’s willingness to forgive: http://youtu.be/E7zwQ_7q-fU), I know that by practicing forgiveness for even the smallest things can make it easier to apply forgiveness in major situations.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean I have to be best friends with someone who hurt me or allow them to continue to hurt me. Forgiveness opens up opportunities to be healed. It allows for personal growth and progression to become more like our Savior, Jesus Christ. The life lesson I have learned is this: The people who love me matter more than the people who cause me pain. I’d rather spend my energy on developing healthy relationships with friends and family that matter most in my life than be a prisoner to unresolved feelings of hatred.

With this being said, there are different aspects of forgiveness than just forgiving people that may cause pain. Part of the forgiveness challenge included forgiving yourself:

“Forgive yourself for not being the richest, the thinnest, the tallest, or the one with the best hair. Forgive yourself for not being the most successful, the cutest, or the one with the fastest time. Forgive yourself for not winning every round. Forgive yourself for being afraid.” This caught my attention. Forgiving others is easy; forgiving myself is the hard part. I tend to beat myself up over things I think I should have ultimate control over. How is allowing self-deprecation any different from allowing someone else to hurt me? This was a wake-up call. Forgiveness (for others and yourself) is the foundation to healing and progression in life. There is a reason why we are told to forgive 70 times 7 (Matthew 18:22)…to be freed from the debilitating effects of guilt, grudges, and hatred.

I love myself more when I am forgiving of my faults. To be perfectly honest, my faults are what make me beautiful. Understanding this concept has taken me years. It’s a battle I face every day. In retrospect, the times I beat myself up over my shortcomings are the times when I am least forgiving. What a stress relief it is to let go of the negative self-talk and internal conflict that I create for myself.

So, let it go and be amazed

By what you see through the eyes of grace

The prisoner that it really frees is you…
Forgiveness

by Skye Stoddard

10-Day Happiness Challenge 2014 • Day 3: Hope

noreply@blogger.com (BYU Women's Services) — Wed, 05 Nov 2014 22:26:00 +0000

I chose the first challenge: Try to envision something realistic that you want for yourself in your life. Create a plan to get there.

Here’s what my mind is currently thinking: “There are tens of thousands of companies out there and I'm supposed to find THE right job. IF I find the right job, I'm supposed to then pick THE right city. I also should probably start looking at grad schools, oh, dang…there are 300+ MBA programs...”

Melodramatic? Maybe. But it is seriously scary preparing for the future when there are SO many choices. No matter how often you glance at Obama's "Hope" poster, the future can be discouraging.

I've decided to share the only thing that helps me manage stress and have hope about the future:

Planning

Have you ever sat down to take a test and you just start laughing at how unprepared you are? I have and it sucks. I usually come home with a single thought: If only I had planned better and started studying two weeks ago.

Whether you want a great job or you want to get into decent shape--make a plan, set goals, do something small each day to help you get there. Keep it manageable.

Planning puts YOU in control.

“Having a sense of purpose is having a sense of self. A course to plot is a destination to hope for.” - Bryant Mcgill

“Failing to plan is planning to fail; Hope is not a plan” - Harrison Jones

Sure these quotes are cliché, but think about it: you can do anythingyou want in life if you’ll plan out the steps to get there. A 4.0 GPA, a great job, a promotion, a personal best mile time…ANYTHING.

Planning is also an act of faith that brings inspiration. Continually planning allows you to reflect on how things are going, see where you need to improve, and gain insights and ideas to do so. Pray and mediate before you plan and you can have confidence that your plan is the best course for your life.

Planning Gives Us Hope

Here’s how I did the hope challenge:

I laid out the upcoming week on a big white board. I put down EVERYTHING I need to do.

I outlined my upcoming 6 weeks on a dry-erase calendar. This gave me a big-picture perspective.

I put EVERYTHING in my phone immediately. Every idea gets a date/time to be completed. When it's done, I delete it. I will try to go to bed with that day being totally empty of to-do’s.

I then look over my morning, afternoon, and evening plan often to see how I’m doing and reevaluate if necessary.

Are there 53,352 companies out there? Probably. But planning leaves me feeling hopeful and confident that I can find the right job, the right city, the right ______ (insert future need here).

P.S. There is no such thing as THE right job; but if it existed, you’d need a plan to get it.

by Cameron Hill
BYU student studying Marketing/Entrepreneurship

10-Day Happiness Challenge 2014 • Day 2: Kindness

noreply@blogger.com (BYU Women's Services) — Wed, 05 Nov 2014 21:06:00 +0000

I think the opportunity to share my experience and thoughts on the kindness portion of the 10-day challenge couldn’t have come at a better time. While thinking about kindness and what that means, I came across this quote from Mark Twain “Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” – Mark Twain. How true it is!

I would say I am generally a positive and quite optimistic person. I truly love being around people, talking to people and learning about others. You could say being around people is my bread and butter. I feel like I generally try to be a kind, caring individual, as I have had my fare share of unkind things happen to me(as we all have). However, I have recently been dealing with a major bout of grumpiness and have been annoyed by everything and everyone. What’s worse is, I work with people all day every day. So, my grumpiness translates into be being short and rude with those around me. And then I just feel terrible.

That being said I decided to focus on, “being kind to unkind people. They need it most”, part of the challenge. I honestly thought to myself, it’s one day. I can do this. EASY! Turns out it was not as easy as I originally thought. Being kind to unkind people when you are feeling tired, frustrated and annoyed is no simple task, as I’m sure many of you are aware.

I work at a hospital during the day and a restaurant in the evening. I was recently working at the restaurant after a very long and exhausting day. I can generally count on having a customer or two that is less than pleased with the food, or how long it took to get them seated or things that may be completely out of your control.

When I started my shift I was not very excited to be there. I had no desire to work with more people. As I approached my table I couldn’t think of anything other than how annoyed I was to be there. I didn’t notice the customers smiling face, or their warm demeanors or their excitement to be with each other. I greeted them with no warmth, no kindness. It seemed they could sense my lack of enthusiasm. As I introduced myself, they did something very few customers ever do. They asked me how I was doing. They asked me about my day. In that moment, I realized I was not doing a very good job at accomplishing my challenge to be kind to unkind people. Rather, this couple who I had never met in my life, was treating me how I should have been treating myself and others. They treated me with kindness and dignity something everyone deserves to feel. I am sure you can remember a time in your life when someone was kind to you when you may have been less than kind to them. That couple made me truly feel goodness, love and warmth by simply showing kindness to someone who was less than kind to them. They left a huge impression on my heart and helped me understand the importance kindness plays in life. “Kindness, I've discovered, is everything in life.” - Isaac Bashevis Singer

by Kelly Casey
Graduated from BYU in 2010 and works at Primary Children's Hospital in SLC

We want to hear about your experiences as well! Tweet or Instagram with the hashtag #RecapturingBeauty, or email us at wsr@byu.edu! You can follow @wsrbyu on Instagram and @byuwsr on Twitter.

10-Day Happiness Challenge 2014 • Day 1: Optimism

noreply@blogger.com (BYU Women's Services) — Tue, 04 Nov 2014 21:01:00 +0000

I’m convinced that everyone on this planet has seven billion valid reasons to embrace pessimism as a lifestyle. How easy it can be to give in to depression and self-pity! We all experience this because it is a battle that we are meant to fight. When I experience gloomy days I often think about the scripture in 2^nd Nephi 2:11:

“For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so…righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad…happiness nor misery.”

The optimism challenge has inspired me to reject my negative instincts and instead train myself to first think of all of the good in my life. The most attractive people are those who are happiest. And those who are happiest have figured out how to allow optimism fill their souls. Here’s a few of the ways I try to find happiness through optimism:

· Keep a journal. I only write 2-3 sentences per day. This allows me to reflect on my daily blessings. If you commit yourself to writing this often, it requires you to look for the good parts in even your worst days.

· Exercise. It must be a priority in your life or it will be the first thing to go. Set your workout clothes out the night before, go to bed 30 minutes earlier so you can wake up on time, find ways to exercise that don’t require you to go to the gym…just do something active each day. You will have a clear mind and a bright countenance if you treat your body right.

· Have a good breakfast. I either drink green smoothies or make oatmeal each morning. I’ve found that when I start my day with healthy food it is so much easier to make good decisions the rest of the day, and I feel so much more confident.

· Stay on top of your responsibilities. It is easy to just come home from a long day and turn on Netflix for the rest of the night. Resist this urge. When you find that you have some extra time, use it wisely and accomplish something early! Self-doubt will disappear and you’ll feel so satisfied.

· Find time to unwind. Allow yourself to take a break every once in a while. We all need time to recharge. Give yourself permission to relax.

· Keep your Sundays gospel-centered. I really struggle with this one. I typically like to come home from church and take a long nap followed by a movie with my husband. I’ve found that when I do this, I spend the entire day dreading the upcoming week. Sundays should be a day of peace and reflection. Serve others, learn about Christ, and live the Sabbath.

· Be cheerful. When you feel the urge to speak negatively, instead say something positive…even if you don’t feel it. If you make positivity a habit, eventually you will start to believe it.

The true test is whether or not we can rise above our dark days and still embrace the good. There is good in all situations if we just know how to look for it. Keep yourself solution-focused as you solve problems in your life. Find that silver lining. It’s always there.

by Michelle Hill

MISM Graduate Student in the Marriott School of Business

We want to hear about your experiences as well! Tweet or Instagram with the hashtag #RecapturingBeauty, or email us at wsr@byu.edu! You can follow @wsrbyu on Instagram and @byuwsr on Twitter.

"See You Later"

noreply@blogger.com (BYU Women's Services) — Tue, 04 Nov 2014 17:11:00 +0000

I hate goodbyes.

I would much rather say, “See you later.”

Somehow saying that phrase includes the hope and promise that I will indeed see that person again. Soon.

Sometimes I just want the goodbye to be assumed without really saying anything at all.

Richard Bach said, “Don’t be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or a lifetime, is certain for those who are friends.”

That gives me comfort. I have been blessed to meet so many wonderful women at Women’s Services & Resources. I have been touched and made better by every one of you. I have loved working with students with questions, problems or concerns and helping you find the resources you need to resolve what was troubling you. I have loved knowing we helped you somehow to restore your confidence and your understanding of how amazing you are.

I have enjoyed my connections to the many offices on campus and the wonderful people who are filling their roles and providing the valuable resources that help so many. BYU is a great place to work and to go to school. It is such a privilege and blessing to be a part of this community. There are so many competent and caring professionals that work here and want you to succeed.

I will especially miss my student employees. You are the ones that make Women’s Services & Resources what it is. You are my dear friends. You come in with amazing energy, creative ideas and gifts and talents that blow me away. I have been so blessed to know you and work with you. Thank you for the light and goodness you have shared with me.

LaNae Valentine

A Tribute to LaNae Valentine: Director of Women's Services and Resources

noreply@blogger.com (BYU Women's Services) — Mon, 03 Nov 2014 17:58:00 +0000

Today was the first day in ten years that LaNae Valentine was not the director at Women's Services and Resources. She has moved on to other projects and we just wanted to write her a blog post as a farewell and a thank you for all the work, sweat and tears she's put into this office. Here are just a few words from some employees of LaNae's, past and present, to let her know we love her and couldn't have done it without her.

I met LaNae in 2012 during a career exploration class that focused on women. She did a presentation on women’s services at BYU and options for BYU women. I was so impressed with what she had to say that I ran out of the class to follow her and told her I would like to be involved in what she was doing. I lost a shoe I was in such a hurry, but there is LaNae for you she inspires people to run get things done. At the time I was working for the library but after meeting with LaNae I knew I wanted to work with her. If you ask most people in our office or who have worked for LaNae they will tell you they are here because they wanted to work with her. LaNae is everything you could want in a boss, she is kind, caring, productive, encouraging, she hires wonderful people and so the office turns into a family. I will miss her so much but am so grateful to have had the chance to work for her and with her. She is an amazing person and a great friend.

Love you LaNae!

-Katie Hollingsworth

When I think of BYU Women’s Services, I immediately think of LaNae Valentine. In the short time that I’ve worked at WSR as an intern, I’ve had the privilege of seeing first-hand the effort, work, and passion that LaNae puts into everything that she does here. I am constantly impressed by her ability to be gentle and compassionate to all she encounters while strongly standing for she believes and giving a voice to those who are too often unheard. It is refreshing to meet a woman today who can be both feminine, fun, and acutely in tune with the pressing issues that face society, individuals, and especially women. I love that LaNae is such a critical thinker and has such an open mind. She inspires me to do more both professionally and in my every-day life to try and uplift others and make a difference in the world around me!

-Megan Rogers

I love LaNae! She has been a bright ray of sunshine for so many at BYU, especially myself. Women's services has done so much good at BYU thanks to LaNae and her many talents. She has been an incredible mentor for me personally as well as so many others. Her compassion and intelligence are overwhelming and I am so grateful to know her. LaNae is inspiring, empathetic, strong and energizing. She has been able to spread her goodness everywhere she has been and I know she will continue to be a force for good wherever she goes in the future.

-Ashleigh Adkins

LaNae is just the best! I don’t know if I’ve ever heard her say a negative thing about anything. Even when things are extremely difficult for me she can validate and empathize without adding to the problem. And when she is experiencing difficulties she has an uncanny ability to be real without being negative. She is also an extremely genuine and balanced person; and all of these things make her incredibly trustworthy. I know I could trust LaNae with my secrets or my problems or with my wins and she’d be there for me. She has been a delight to work with/for! I deeply admire her passion and perseverance. She is someone I definitely try to emulate.

-Lauren Drean

I consider it a great privilege to have worked with LaNae at Women's Services and Resources. When I began as the nutrition consultant, I was unsure of myself and my ability to counsel one-on-one with women. But, through her example, LaNae taught me the secret to succeeding: love.

LaNae has let love be her guide as the director of Women's Services and Resources. She loves the students and women of BYU. As she oversaw the programs and activities while I was an employee, it was always clear to me that her experience lent her an insight to the needs of the students and women of this campus.

LaNae has helped so many individuals (myself included) at BYU by reaching out in love as a counselor, confidant, instructor, employer, and friend. Her ability to listen in loving empathy is astounding. I feel like there is no way to describe the service LaNae has given to the women of BYU. She has reached to out them, listened to them, and served them as the director of Women's Services and Resources.

Genevieve Pierce

LaNae Valentine is one of those people that will completely change your life after meeting her. She is the most genuine and caring individual that you will meet. Working for LaNae for three years was the greatest blessing I was given during my time at BYU. LaNae was not only my boss but also the most loving friend I had during that time.

She took time to guide each of her student employees on a path that taught us to be empowered women who sincerely cared for the wellbeing of all women. She encouraged each of us to blossom into women with purpose and confidence.

Out of all the things I learned while at BYU, none of them will compare to the life lessons I was taught while working for LaNae. It was an honor and a privilege to learn from her and something I will never forget.

Thank you for your amazing example LaNae. You are truly one of my dearest friends and someone I will always look up to. Women’s Services will never be the same without you. Good luck with your future endeavors. I’m cheering for you!

Love, Bianca Rosenhan

I love LaNae. I feel that I’ve been basking in the glow of her positive energy and passion for the work of women as I’ve been here at BYU. I feel she works at genius-level concerning the programs she has created, and her humility after having done so is so touching. What a tremendous impact such a person has on the world around her. We have all been blessed because we have LaNae in our lives.

-Pam Smith

It is hard to say everything I feel about LaNae in a few short paragraphs. I have only known her for a few months but she has truly become my friend. She inspires me to be kind to everyone that I meet. I have never witnessed her say a mean word to anyone. She is truly loving and non-judgmental. I have watched as many a young woman walk into her office full of fear or in tears and come out looking hopeful. She is amazingly good at what she does. She has so much passion for women’s issues, but is also concerned about each individual.

LaNae created the campaigns Recapturing Beauty and Voices of Courage. She is not afraid to talk about real things, which cannot be ignored but often are. Things such as, abuse, dealing with the negative effects of pornography, eating disorders, body image, and so much more. She realizes that not everything can be fixed with a simple “just get over it”, and she does everything she can to help those in need. The world desperately needs more people like LaNae. People who are positive, but who fight to fix, not ignore, hard and challenging problems.

LaNae has such a sweet spirit. She truly glows. I have fun chatting with her but also feel comfortable talking to her about the more serious parts of life. I will miss having her as a boss at Women’s Services. The office will never be the same without her, and I can’t imagine it ever being as wonderful or accomplishing as much as it did with her at its head. She has done so much for BYU and for the individuals whose lives she has touched. She has such faith in our Heavenly Father and I know that He will take care of her. I am privileged to have had the opportunity to work with LaNae Valentine. I am proud and grateful to call her my friend.

-Breanne Vance

WE LOVE YOU LANAE!!!!

Breast Cancer Awareness Month Spurs Year-Round Health Reminders

noreply@blogger.com (BYU Women's Services) — Thu, 30 Oct 2014 18:50:00 +0000

Breast Cancer Awareness Month is an observance held every October. While education is at the forefront, the movement also celebrates the lives of those who have fought, or are currently fighting this deadly disease. This event is important for women’s health, and it may even prompt some to make important health visits during the month of October. More important to consider are the ways in which the month has lasting positive impacts all year-round.

Facts About Breast Cancer

Breast cancer refers to one or more cancerous tumors that originate within breast tissue. They are made up of malignant cells that multiply. The exact causes of breast cancer aren’t understood. When left undetected or untreated, breast cancer can spread to nearby lymph nodes, as well as the:

· liver

· brain

· bones

· lungs

Monthly self-breast examinations continue to play a critical role in early breast cancer detection. If you feel a small lump anywhere around the breast area, you should call a doctor right away. A physical examination will be issued, as well as a sophisticated detection device such as a mammogram.

Who is at Risk?

As with other cancers, a woman’s risk for developing breast cancer increases with age. This is why most doctors recommend mammograms for women over 50 years of age. The danger, however, is that this recommendation might not prompt young women to think about breast cancer under the age of 50. The fact is that young women are not immune. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, young women comprise an estimated 11 percent of all breast cancer cases in the United States.

Other risk factors for breast cancer in young women include:

· poor diet with few plant foods

· sedentary lifestyle

· Ashkenazi Jewish heritage

· exposure to radiation in chest area during youth

· family history of breast cancer

· mutations in BRCA1 or BRCA 2 genes

If you have any risk factor for breast cancer, it’s important to have an increased awareness for the disease and follow your doctor’s recommendations for preventive care.

What You Can Do

Breast Cancer Awareness Month goes beyond the educational scope about this deadly disease. While it’s true that its first mission is to raise awareness about breast cancer, the mission of this month-long event is also to help raise funds for research and treatment. Walks are held across the country in which teams and individuals can gain sponsors to raise money for the cause. These events also provide great opportunities to publicly show your support in the fight against breast cancer. Others choose their fight in private by making direct donations to organizations devoted to research and care of breast cancer patients.

Perhaps the most important takeaway from Breast Cancer Awareness Month is the lifelong knowledge you can apply to your health for the rest of your life. This includes:

· monthly self-exams

· breast exams during annual OB-GYN visits

· a mammogram every two years after age 50 (or younger if you’re high-risk)

· follow a low-fat, plant-rich diet

· maintain a healthy weight

· exercise regularly and keep stress down

While breast cancer is not always 100-percent preventable despite healthy lifestyle habits, early detection can help save lives. Until a cure may hopefully be found one day, prevention and early detection are the keys to breast cancer survival.

Resources

· Breast Cancer Awareness Month. (2014, October). Retrieved from http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/breast-cancer-awareness-month

· Breast Cancer in Young Women. (2014, August 1). Retrieved from http://www.cdc.gov/cancer/dcpc/resources/features/BreastCancerYoungWomen/

· Cancer and Women. (2014, May 8). Retrieved from http://www.cdc.gov/cancer/dcpc/resources/features/WomenAndCancer/

· Mammograms Fact Sheet. (2013, June 21). Retrieved from http://womenshealth.gov/publications/our-publications/fact-sheet/mammograms.html

Author Bio:Kristeen Cherney is a freelance health and lifestyle writer who also has a certificate in nutrition. Her work has been published on numerous health-related websites with a focus on women’s health issues. Previously, she worked as a communications and marketing professional. Kristeen holds a BA in Communications from Florida Gulf Coast University, and is currently pursuing an MA in English with a concentration in rhetoric and cultural studies. When she's not writing or studying, she enjoys walking, kick-boxing, yoga, and traveling.

Take a Look in God's Mirror

noreply@blogger.com (BYU Women's Services) — Wed, 29 Oct 2014 15:14:00 +0000

I believe in the power of our thoughts. The way we think determines the way we see the world, ourselves, and our choices. For example, a people who see themselves the victim of their circumstances will see their choices as limited to what happens to them rather than what they can do. When I was a little girl, I learned a song about our thoughts:

If on occasion you have found

Your language is in question,

Or ugly thoughts come to your mind,

Then here's a good suggestion:

Just hum your favorite hymn,

Sing out with vigor and vim,

And you will find it clears your mind.

Hum your favorite hymn.

It's a simple child's song, but I still on occasion mentally hum a song when a gossipy or mean or inappropriate thought comes to my mind. Beyond being a good way to distract myself from these negative thoughts, it also serves as a label and a reminder: these thoughts are not appropriate, are not helpful, and are not godly.

In regard to our thoughts, we often talk about thoughts and images of a pornographic nature. We talk of pornography as an epidemic, as an addiction, and as an imprisonment. But I'm not going to write about pornography today. I want to discuss a different epidemic of our thoughts that I see again and again, particularly among women.

The epidemic is negative self-talk.

I hear my dear, amazing friends and family members say things all the time that make me want to scream out: "That is an absurd lie!" They'll say things like, "Man, I'm really fat" or "Why would any guy want to date me?" or "I'm too ugly for anyone to notice me." If these things are coming out of their mouths, how many other mean things are they thinking inside their heads?

I hear a lot of people speak to women about how wonderful they are. It's true. Women are wonderful! Sometimes, I think this is done to build up women and boost self-esteem. While I think this approach can be beneficial, I'm not going to sugarcoat anything with this post.

Ladies, these negative thoughts are evil. They are not appropriate. They are not helpful. They are not godly. If we suggest to men (and women), that they should remove an unclean, immoral thought or image from their mind immediately, then we women (and men) need to remove these negative, self-degrading thoughts from our minds just as rapidly. Both of these type of thoughts—the immoral and the self-degrading—come from the same source, and it’s not our Heavenly Father.

You are capable of so much more than a brain filled with thoughts of inability, inadequacy, and inferiority. Your brain was meant to be used for so much more than that! Think of all the energy you could reroute to other things. Instead of being consumed by how you looked at a party, you could be consumed by how to befriend others at a party. Instead of letting your voice go quiet in insecurity, you can let your voice rise in words of comfort and love.

Several years ago, I had an awakening to my own negative self-talk. A wise professor explained that this practice was simply a habit. It was not an inevitable, insurmountable condition. So, just as I had set other goals to brush my teeth every day and clean my room regularly, I set the goal to remove the negative thoughts from my head. The first thing I had to do was label it: this thought is leading me away from my potential and from what God wants of me. Once labelled, it was easier to want to quickly replace it. Sometimes I would hum a song, but more often than not, I would think of something else, like school, work, or what was going to happen in the last Harry Potter book. And then I repeated this process again and again and again. And again. Like any bad habit, it was extremely hard to break. Thinking negatively of myself was such a common practice that it seemed a part of my personality, something impossible to truly remove. But I kept working at it. I failed many, many times, but instead of giving in to those thoughts of inability—"You're weak. How can you win this battle?"—I kept going.

It took a long time, but years later, I can say that negative thoughts are uncommon and passing for me. They sometimes come into my mind, but I pay them little attention. They no longer are the natural route for my mind to go down and focus on. And the fight has been completely worth it. I am free.

With sincere love for the divine beings around me,

Amanda Kae Fronk

7 “Life Hacks” You Never Thought to Ask Mom About

noreply@blogger.com (BYU Women's Services) — Tue, 28 Oct 2014 15:03:00 +0000

Where’s mom now that you need her? Well, you always did need her, but once you’re living on your own or creating your own family, the necessity of her wisdom becomes all the more apparent. Here are 7 things my mom and some other wise women have taught me that simplify life just a little more.

1. When baking bread in the winter, or when you want it to rise faster, turn your oven on at its lowest temperature setting. As soon as it’s pre-heated turn the oven off. Put your bread dough in an oven safe pan, cover with a dish towel, and place in your warmed oven. Check on the dough until it’s doubled in size.

2. Not all crockpots are the same. Don’t always follow the times/heat settings found in a new recipe. Get to know how hot your crockpot gets and adjust times/settings for each recipe. For example, my crockpot tends to be on the hotter end, so when making a new recipe I use the “low” setting to be on the safe side, and I check the food periodically to make sure it doesn’t over cook.

3. If your tub or sink is draining water slowly it could be because of a gooey build up inside your pipes. Most apartment complexes ask that you don’t use Draino in their pipes. Instead, boil some water and get some baking soda and vinegar ready. Dump half the boiling water down the drain, and right after, pour in some baking soda, and then some vinegar. The chemical reaction will clean out your pipes! Finish with the rest of the hot water to rinse everything off.

4. Baking soda comes into good use again when your microwave is starting to reek of old pasta sauce and burnt popcorn. First, boil hot water in a microwave safe container in your microwave. The condensation will loosen up some of those tougher stains. After doing a wipe-down, put a small bowl of baking soda inside and let it sit for a few days, removing it whenever you cook something. The baking soda will help absorb that smell.

5. Dry air and sore throats? Make a humidifier by pouring water in a plate or shallow dish and leaving it on your window sill. When the sun shines through the window the water will evaporate into the air. Simply refill the water when it runs out.

6. Don’t you hate it when your water glasses get foggy? The fogginess actually comes from your dishwasher detergent coupled with the heated dry. If you’re having company over, or if you just want to do a periodic polishing of your glasses, simply rinse each glass in hot water, use soap if the fogginess is particularly bad, and then set on a drying rack or hand dry with a towel. If your glasses aren’t too old, they should sparkle again!

7. Icing a cake can be difficult, especially when the cake crumbles and gets pieces in the frosting. To avoid this, create a sticky sugar glaze using milk and powdered sugar. Usually a little more sugar than milk works best, but keep adding one or the other until you have a consistency you like. Pour the glazes on the cake and spread around if necessary. Wait for the glaze to harden and then frost away! The glaze should keep all those pesky crumbs in place.

By Janai Gariety

Becoming Perfect Through Him

noreply@blogger.com (BYU Women's Services) — Wed, 22 Oct 2014 16:52:00 +0000

By: Emilee Wolfe

As women, we so easily get caught up in what author Anna Quindlen calls “the dance of perfection.” The looks, the wit, the poise, the charm: from day one we are expected to keep up in this dance with perfect cadence. Our insatiable media consumption only serves to feed our perception of the ideal. Even when we realize our lives can never measure up, we continue to fan the flame by trying to convince others, and ourselves, that we can do it all—that we can take flawless #Iwokeuplikethis selfies during exotic vacations on our break from ending world hunger. We strive to portray our lives as perfectly manicured, covering any trace of messiness or brokenness, afraid to admit that these parts of us exist…afraid that revealing them would make us unworthy of love.

This fixation is further exaggerated in Mormon culture, I believe. We equate our successes and failures to our degree of righteousness. We place motherhood on an insurmountable pedestal. We spend our time poring over picturesque fashion and mommy blogs. We strive to be anxiously engaged in a good cause while forgetting that sometimes we are the ones who need help. It’s interesting that as Christians we so often allow ourselves to be driven by a works-based culture, rather than relying on the grace that is so central to our faith.

We continue in the illusion of effortless perfection, failing to realize that the concept itself is an oxymoron. As it turns out, the façade demands a great deal. Soon, the masks we wear, the smoke screens, and the dance become too much.

My perfectly woven story unraveled this past year, my final year at BYU—the time when, I told myself, I should have it all together. My life took a mental, emotional, and physical blow in searching for the perfect internship, in expecting the perfectly fulfilling relationship, in choosing the perfect career path after graduation. I let cultural pressures determine the paths I walked and dictate my worth, and in the process, I shaved my soul down bit-by-bit until there was very little of me left.

In the perfection dance, that’s what you lose: your soul, your spirit, your vibrancy, your passion, your sense of adventure, your love of life.

Yet, sometimes it takes losing yourself to find yourself.

Matthew 10:39 reads, “He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.”

It took my debilitating health to teach me that being imperfect was okay. It took complete reliance on the enabling power of the Atonement to realize that love works only as a gift, never as a reward. It took losing myself for Christ’s sake for me to understand that I am fully His.

It is in these raw, fragile moments in which He gives himself to us. These moments require us to take off the masks we so often don, to share the broken parts of ourselves with one another, and to accept the unconditional love we never before thought we deserved.

As His perfect love flows through us, we find that His grace is what fills the deepest needs of our hearts. We come to see others, and ourselves, as He sees us: flawed and broken, yes, but achingly beautiful in our vulnerabilities. We discover true joy in the relationships that don’t demand perfection, in which we feel safe to share all of ourselves and grow together. We remember who we are and learn who we can become. We realize that no sin, no choice, no trial can keep us from His love, which has the power to make all right.

In Him, we are perfect.

“Ring the bells that still can ring

Forget your perfect offering

There is a crack, a crack in everything

That’s how the light gets in.”

-Leonard Cohen

Further food for thought:

Being PerfectAnna Quindlen

Letters to a Young Mormon Adam Miller

Real LoveGreg Baer

“Becoming Perfect in Christ” Gerrit W. Gong

“His Grace is Sufficient” Brad Wilcox

Leaves & Roots: Preparing for Trying Times

noreply@blogger.com (BYU Women's Services) — Fri, 17 Oct 2014 16:47:00 +0000

Fall is in the air! The weather is cooling. Pumpkin sales are skyrocketing. And the leaves are changing colors. I’ve recently been thinking about lessons that can be learned from nature, and in particular, I have been pondering about how trees prepare for the fast-approaching winter. And I noticed some principles that are pretty relevant in our lives. I’d like to share with you a few things that I learned.

First, a lesson about trees. Every year, in preparation for winter, trees shed their leaves. This is done in order to help the tree conserve water and energy during a season where they won’t have the same access to water and nutrients that they enjoy in other seasons of the year. During warmer seasons, the leaves use sunlight, water and air to help create energy to sustain the tree. But in the winter, because of the dry, cold air, the energy leaves create is less than the energy it takes to sustain those leaves. So, in order to conserve moisture in the trunk and branches, thus protecting the tree, leaves are dropped, the spots where they were attached are sealed, and the tree lies dormant until spring. This keeps the tree alive during a difficult period of time.

Now, a lesson about life. There will be many difficult seasons in life. For students, some of those seasons may include midterms and finals. For individuals who are affected with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), that season is literally winter. For others it may be periods of poor physical or emotional health, times of loss, of financial difficulty, or of prolonged loneliness. Sometimes these seasons of difficulty come suddenly and unexpectedly. At other times we may anticipate them and recognize their approach.

At such times, it may be wise to follow the example of trees in nature and find ways to let go of certain activities that we no longer have the energy to sustain. This is often difficult. After all, many if not most activities in your life exist for a reason. Do you neglect school work? Work? Church service? Hobbies? Relationships? Scripture studies? Community Service? Meals? Therapy? Exercise? Sleep?

I don’t have the answer, because it will be individualized to each individual or family. Determining what “leaves” can be sacrificed for a time is a matter that is best approached with prayer. Perhaps you will decide to simplify by making faster, easier meals. Maybe you will feel that you should say no to invitations to social activities. Maybe you decide to only put in sufficient effort into your studies to earn a C rather than an A. Maybe you think to take your kids out of an extracurricular activity for a while. Maybe you ask for fewer hours at work. Maybe you will decide to give up time spent on social media.

But, as you consider what “leaves” you may be able to let drop for a season, be careful to not confuse leaves for roots. The root system of a tree plays a vital role in sustaining a tree. It is a store-house for food reserves. It absorbs and transports water and minerals from the soil to the trunk and branches. It also anchors the tree. Even though it becomes necessary for a tree to drop its leaves in winter, a tree never detaches from its roots. We likewise have sources of strength that nourish us and anchor us.

I wish to highlight four “root” things we should hold fast to during trying times:

1. Health

To quote the six-fingered man from The Princess Bride, “If you haven’t got your health, you haven’t got anything”. Your physical body matters. To say that you are too stressed to eat or sleep or exercise is like saying that you are too sick to take medicine. You may need to adapt some patterns around these activities, but to drop them altogether is going to deplete you of the energy you need to sustain you when times are tough.

2. Relationships

In the words of Sister Hinckley, “Oh how we need each other!” Social science and lived experience supports this. Don’t cut off all people. Perhaps you will need to become dormant in certain social circles for a time, but maintain some meaningful connections. Have someone that you can talk to and laugh with and confide in and seek counsel from. If you are married, turn to your spouse as a source of strength and support and be a source of strength and support to him. Connect regularly. Have fun together. Make time together a priority.

3. Sources of Spiritual Strength

It can be tempting, in busy times, to let scripture studies or church attendance slide. However, it is in stressful, busy times that you need the peace the gospel brings the most. In difficult times we have extra need of the enabling power of the Atonement to give us strength, expand our capacities, and make up for our shortcomings.

4. Self-Care

Take time to do things that refresh you. Perhaps your self-care is rooted in one of the other roots. Perhaps you exercise for self-care. Perhaps you love having late-night dance parties in the kitchen with your roommates. I find myself refreshed by conversations with close friends and going thrift store shopping. Find something that helps rejuvenate you, and take time to “sharpen the saw”.

Just as trees shed their leaves to conserve energy as winter approaches, at times in our lives it may become needful to let go of certain practices for a season. But we should never detach from those things that give us our strength.

By: Allison Ellsworth

https://waxingstrong.wordpress.com/

Learning to Speak

noreply@blogger.com (BYU Women's Services) — Wed, 15 Oct 2014 17:57:00 +0000

I'd like to introduce you to a girl named Malala Yousafzai. Maybe you know of her, but in case you don't, here's a little bit about why you should. Malala was born in Pakistan, where during her youth, the Taliban took over her town and banned girls from going to school. Following after her father, Malala spoke up against this injustice. She was only 11 years old when she began to speak out. In 2008, she started writing a diary for the BBC under a pseudonym. She spoke on radio stations in Pakistan decrying the Taliban ban on girls' education. By the summer of 2012, Malala had gained notoriety in Pakistan and abroad, and the Taliban began to fear her influence. Just over two years ago, on October 9, 2012, Malala was shot through the head, neck, and shoulder by a member of the Taliban. But Malala survived.

And her voice hasn't gone quiet. On July 12, 2013—her 16th birthday—she spoke to the United Nations about education for all children. You can watch her speech here. [http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2013/07/12/video_malala_yousafzai_s_speech_at_the_u_n_on_malala_day.html ] (It's well worth your time.) A few months later, she appeared on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart, where again she spoke with eloquence on why she did what she did:

“Why should I wait for someone else? Why should I be looking to the government, to the army, that they would help us? Why don't I raise my voice? Why don't we speak up for our rights? The girls of Swat [Malala's home region], they spoke up for their rights. I started writing the diary. I spoke on every media platform that I could, and I raised my voice on every platform that I could.”

Four days ago, Malala became the youngest person to receive the Nobel Peace Prize for her courageous call for change. This young girl has so many reasons to not speak up anymore. She has so many reasons to not share her opinion. But she continues to proclaim the power of voice—of using it and not being afraid to take a stand.

In this world of political correctness and respect for others opinions, I sometimes feel imprisoned. I am constantly aware of what everyone else is thinking, constantly aware of how I'll be interpreted and judged by the things that I say, constantly aware of how I might not be able to fully express acknowledgment of the wide variety of logical viewpoints of an issue and show respect toward them. I'm so worried about inadvertently giving offense that sometimes I don't speak at all. I don't want to come off as rude. I don't want to come off as ignorant. I don't want to come off as non-empathetic. And so I'm left not saying anything.

As I heard Malala speak a year after she'd been shot, proclaiming with eloquence, clarity, and wisdom in a language that was not her first, I thought, "She got shot at for her opinion, but she still keeps speaking. Can I not speak and be unafraid of far-less-terrifying consequences?"

And even with that emboldening question pulsing through my brain, quickening my courage, and forming words in my mouth (or key taps in my fingers, as the case may be), I'm still nervous to speak. But maybe, like Malala, courage is forged a single act at a time.

And the truth is we need more Malalas. We need more people speaking up when they see wrong happening around them. We need more women adding to discussions and solving problems. I might just be one small voice, but so was Malala’s—small, at first, housed in a teenage body in a faraway valley in Pakistan.

Cheers,

Amanda Kae Fronk

Cranberries: A Magical fruit!

noreply@blogger.com (BYU Women's Services) — Wed, 15 Oct 2014 17:26:00 +0000

I heard a long time ago that cranberry juice was good for women’s health, and I’m sure that’s pretty well-known, however I had no idea until recently what exactly it was that cranberries helped with. An old roommate of mine used to joke that they were good for “your lady parts.” Through some research, I have discovered that this is partly true.

FIRST: Cranberries play a part in the prevention of urinary tract infections (UTIs). There is some debate on this however, because it’s not a 100% guarantee. Anything’s better than nothing though, right? Before I got married, I had pre-marital visits with an OB/GYN. A woman can be at a pretty high risk for UTI's when getting married after practicing abstinence. Her body will be exposed to germs and bacteria it isn’t used to, and this can cause a UTI rather quickly. When meeting with my OB/GYN, she suggested I drink lots of cranberry juice for the first little while. Many doctors believe that the acidity of the cranberry juice can make your urine less ideal for bacteria to reside, hopefully preventing the bacteria from sticking to the urinary tract. If you’ve ever had a UTI before, you know they’re no walk in the park, so drink up!

SECOND: Can cranberries preventbreast cancer? Cranberries are high in Vitamin C and fiber which both have been shown to increase overall health and avoid many types of cancer. So while cranberries aren’t going to single-handedly keep you cancer-free, they certainly do help.

THIRD: That Vitamin C strikes again as an important antioxidant that keeps your heart healthy! According to the American Heart Association, heart disease causes nearly 1/3 of female deaths every year. Antioxidants are an important part of a woman’s diet to keep her heart healthy and strong. Cranberries are a great source for those antioxidants.

FOURTH: The last benefit of cranberries I will mention here deals specifically with pregnant women. Cranberry juice can help prevent pre-eclampsia, a disease in which heightened blood pressure and too much protein in urine can cause pre-mature birth for your baby. Again, Vitamin C is a key here. The high abundance of Vitamin C in cranberries makes their juice a very effective way of lowering a woman’s risk for pre-eclampsia, especially if she is already at high risk.

There you have it! The mystery is solved; cranberry juice really is beneficial for women’s health –and men’s actually, as they can also suffer from UTIs, breast cancer, and heart disease. While it’s not a cure-all elixir that will make all your problems go away, it is a natural, effective, and preventative boost for your overall health. Of course, there are other ways besides drinking a delicious juice to lower your risk for UTIs, breast cancer, heart disease, and pre-eclampsia, but really, who wouldn’t want to opt for that sweet taste over a bunch of large pills if that’s a valid choice for you!

~ Janai Gariety

Sources: Livestrong.com; American Institute for Cancer Research; American Heart Association

Days for Girls

noreply@blogger.com (BYU Women's Services) — Mon, 13 Oct 2014 14:30:00 +0000

Celeste Mergens, this year’s Mother of the Year for Washington State, had been working with an orphanage in Kenya for months when she woke in the middle of the night with a burning question—what did the girls do during their periods? When she asked the director of the orphanage, his response shocked her: “Nothing. They wait in their rooms.”

In developing nations across the world, millions of women do not have access to sustainable feminine hygiene. Many make do with supplies that they have on hand (rags, leaves, bark, cardboard, or even trash), but others are forced to wait out their monthly cycles at home. Over a lifetime, these girls and women miss out on hundreds of days of school and work, and expose themselves to germs and reproductive health risks by using unsanitary materials to slow the flow. There are reports that some girls have been so desperate that they have been manipulated into trading sex for feminine products.

Days for Girls, the organization that Mergens began in 2008 as the result of her epiphany, is seeking to change all this by providing sustainable feminine hygiene kits to women across the world. Days for Girls volunteers sew and assemble feminine hygiene kits that include a portable drawstring bag (to allow the kits to be carried to school or work); a washcloth; a bar of soap; two Ziploc baggies; a specially designed “shield”; and specially designed fabric pads.

Each shield is designed to snap around a pair of panties and hold up to three pads in place, and is also equipped with a special waterproof layer to prevent leaks. Each pad, designed of absorbent cotton flannel, has been carefully designed using a tri-fold pattern that allows for greater absorbency. The tri-fold pattern also helps the pad look like a handkerchief when it is unfolded—this inconspicuous shape lets women hang it out to dry in cultures where anything menstrual-related is taboo. All elements of the kit are made of brightly colored and patterned fabric, which makes the kits pretty but also helps hide dark-colored stains.

Since 2008, Days for Girls has reached over 100,000 women and has formed a presence on six continents, and is now teaching citizens of developing nations how to sew their own kits in order to increase self-sufficiency. The organization, which has been featured in The Oprah Magazineand is a GuideStar Gold Participant, has an ultimate goal of providing feminine hygiene and health education to every woman in the world by 2022. However, to reach this goal, Days for Girls needs the help of people all over the world to sew kits, teach others, and make donations.

By Amanda Seeley

To learn more or find out how you can help, visit the Days for Girls website here: http://www.daysforgirls.org/#!about-us/c79o, or catch Celeste Mergens’ TedTalk here: http://www.daysforgirls.org/#!videos/c13ms

Sources: http://www.daysforgirls.org/#!about-us/c79o

Killing Taboo: My Depression Was a Teacher

noreply@blogger.com (BYU Women's Services) — Fri, 10 Oct 2014 15:55:00 +0000

Today I finally get to cut my dosage in half. The pills come with a dent down the middle, so all I have to do is bite them in half. It leaves a little residue on my teeth that tastes terrible, but I don’t care. The pill is now smaller than ever and I toss it back like a seasoned pro. My boyfriend says I take pills like a druggie. To be fair I may be a bit of a druggie. First I took Accutane for a year, which triggered my depression, and now I have been on these sluggers for another nine months. Maybe a talent at popping pills can be considered another blessing I found from this trial. I cap the obnoxiously colored orange bottle and toss it back in my make-up bag, then grab my backpack and run out the door. This is the first day of my last bottle of anti-depressant.

I wasn’t sure if I was ready to go off my pills. It was almost as hard as deciding to accept using anti-depressants. I wanted to be happy independently, not based upon a little dose of who knows what, which I would have to take daily. But then I finally accepted that my mind was a little broken and I needed help. Pills aren’t supposed to just give you what you lack, but to train your body to produce what you lack. So I started the prescriptions.

Now I worry I might get off the pills too soon. Is my body healed? Am I in a stable enough position to take control of my happiness again?

But I’ve decided I will probably never feel ready. If I allow myself to stay on the pills too long, I might somehow build up a dependence. And I want my “self” back. That’s not to say I don’t feel like myself when I am on the anti-depressants, but I want to be sure I don’t have anything interfering with my decisions. I’ve started to date my boyfriend a little more seriously now, and I want to be sure the real “me” is falling in love with him, and that he is falling for the real “me.”

So I asked my doctor if I could start tapering off. He said it was a little soon, but that I seemed to be doing fine. He gave me instructions on how to cut my dosages little by little.

I’ve felt a little more emotional, and a little crankier lately as I’ve tapered, but that could just be silly hormones. But the important thing is that the feelings of despair haven’t even crossed my mind. I’d all but forgotten them until I sat down to write this. And now with this hindsight I’m able to see how terrible they were. How unnatural they were. These past eight months I’ve been in a constant state of healing, and I hardly noticed it.

But I did take note of what I learned. Here are a few lessons I’ve taken to heart from those eight months of healing.

You Can Have Jurisdiction Over Your Thoughts and Feelings

As women I think we are more susceptible of falling prey to our feelings. We are emotional and empathetic, and the feelings can consume us if we’re not careful. I had to learn to make those feelings my ally. Allow myself to feel sympathy, but not drown in sorrow. Be proud of your womanhood and divine nature, but do not become a slave to your emotions.

I’ve also learned you can’t be lazy with your thinking. You can’t allow yourself to think and feel whatever comes to your mind. Just because it’s your mind doesn’t mean all the thoughts belong to you. We are bombarded by subliminal, sneaky messages that seep into our subconscious. We don’t even recognize when they turn our feelings a little more critical, a little more prideful, or a little more self-derogatory.

You have to police your thoughts, and change them. Meditate over and memorize positive things you know. When a despairing thought arrives isolate it, recognize what caused it, and change it to reflect truth. If it becomes positive, great. If it sheds light on a fault, work out a plan to fix it.

Asking for Help Is Terrifying, But Necessary

Asking for help is not defeat! It’s not giving in to your weakness. It’s triumphing over it! The natural man wants to be independent. God’s plan is for us to be interdependent. We need others. We need to share our pains. Hopefully you have a loving family that will give you support. But if not, hopefully you have a bishop and friends whom you can turn to for support. Your bishop was called to serve you and will lend wisdom. You friends know you and will stand by you. Your doctor has gone to school to help people like you and will know what to prescribe you. Your God created you and knows exactly what you need.

You’re Not a Nice Person If You’re Not Nice to Yourself

Be nice to yourself! For heaven’s sake, the world is already mean enough to us. Roommates and exes and cranky TAs are already mean enough to us as it is. You don’t need yourself as a critic as well. Allow yourself a little wiggle room. Yes we are all sinners, but God knows you’re doing the best you can. He doesn’t expect perfection; He expects eventual wholeness. And for the record, you’re at world-renowned BYU working on an education. (And no, it’s not a fluke that you got in.) You’re doing a few things right.

Pain Sows Love

Out of pain grows charity. Something the BF says he likes about me is my patience and sympathy for others. He’ll joke about a silly student he had, and I’ll immediately come to the student’s defense saying something like, “I’m sure he just didn’t get enough sleep; that’s why he was arguing that frog’s brains are located in their feet.” Empathetic maybe to a fault. But I’ve experienced such devastation that it’s now impossible for me to see other children of God without giving them some leeway. Giving them the benefit of the doubt. “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” –Ian Maclaren

Eat Strawberries, Prevent Diabetes?

noreply@blogger.com (BYU Women's Services) — Tue, 07 Oct 2014 14:47:00 +0000

Thursday, July 19, 2012 by: Katie Brind''Amour at Natural News

Scientists at the University of Warwick have identified a potential preventive effect of strawberries on Type 2 Diabetes risk. Although strawberries have previously been identified as effective at battling high cholesterol and post-meal blood glucose levels, professor Paul Thornalley's research has now demonstrated that strawberry extract actually stimulates the protein "Nrf2" in our bodies, which activates antioxidant activity and decreases blood lipids.

Eating strawberries or strawberry extract may offer a simple, natural solution to improving cardiovascular health. Now that researchers know how strawberries stimulate this protective effect, they can focus on determining how much and which form of strawberries will work best to fight cardiovascular disease and diabetes.

Eating Fruit Despite Diabetes

Of course, a proper diet has always been the first line of defense in preventing diabetes naturally and - coupled with maintaining a healthy body weight - is the best natural treatment for achieving safe blood glucose levels. Many diabetics focus so much on carbohydrate counting and the avoidance of sugar that they virtually eliminate fruit from their diet. Unfortunately, this habit may prevent them from benefiting from the natural disease-fighting properties of some of nature's most delicious foods (such as strawberries).

In fact, when incorporated carefully into the diabetic diet, eating a variety of fruits can be the key to maintaining energy levels, improving memory, fighting neurodegenerative illness, safeguarding cardiovascular health, achieving healthy skin and organs, and even preventing common diabetes complications.

So why the diabetic war on fruit?

Many diabetics believe that fruit sabotages blood glucose levels and eats up large portions of their carbohydrate budget for meals. Eaten in correct serving sizes and as part of an otherwise balanced diet; however, virtually any fruit can be a regular addition to the diabetic diet. In general, diabetic and non-diabetic diets should be composed of lean protein, low-fat dairy products, whole grains, lots of vegetables, and a variety of fruit.

Serve up some strawberries with Greek yogurt and walnuts for breakfast, snack on some grapes and whole grain crackers in the afternoon, or whip up a mango salsa to serve with fish at dinner. In general, the more variety, the better. Berries, bananas, apples, and citrus all boast wonderful health benefits, and can be easily monitored for portion size and identified on glycemic index charts. After a few weeks with strawberries and other fruits in the diet, things may start looking up as your diabetes risk and health woes go down - naturally!

Sources for this article include the following:

http://www2.warwick.ac.uk

http://www.healthline.com/health/type-2-diabetes/seven-day-meal-plan

http://ndep.nih.gov/media/nottoolate_tips-508.pdf?redirect=true

http://www.helpguide.org/life/healthy_diet_diabetes.htm

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22293281

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22191015

About the Author:
Katie BrindAmour is a Certified Health Education Specialist and passionate health and wellness freelance writer. She enjoys cooking, yoga, gardening, and spending time with friends. She has a Masters in Biology and is currently pursuing her PhD in Health Services Management and Policy. She also enjoys blogging for Women's Healthcare Topics and Healthline Networks.

Learn more: http://www.naturalnews.com/036515_diabetes_strawberries_prevention.html#ixzz3FTELn5Qq

Humpty Dumpty

noreply@blogger.com (BYU Women's Services) — Mon, 06 Oct 2014 21:08:00 +0000

Yesterday at church, before Relief Society, I handed my baby girl off to her dad, and I was a free woman! Hollaaaa. For one hour, I could sit and enjoy the messages that were shared. The meeting started off with a thought from a sister who has had a tough hand dealt to her in life. She started off by sharing very personal struggles. She is a beautiful woman and she shared her struggles with self-esteem and self-worth. Throughout her life, because of her past, she has felt—at times—worthless. My heart sank when I heard that.

That morning before she went to church, she was getting ready, going over in her head the message she had already prepared to share with us. She looked at herself in the mirror and thought of the movie she had watched with her children the night before, Puss in Boots. It seemed silly but her heart swelled, and she knew she needed to bag the message she had already prepared and share the story of Humpty Dumpty (according to Puss in Boots) instead.

I've never seen the movie, but from what I understood, Humpty is known as a criminal in the beginning. Puss in Boots, the defender of good, and Humpty Dumpty, the criminal, become the most unlikely friends. In the beginning, Humpty robs the bank and Puss is framed, so they had to flee from the police. Throughout the movie, they face all sorts of adventures and obstacles. Some they overcame easily and some not so much. At the end of the movie, Humpty Dumpty wants to fix his mistakes and he sacrifices himself to save the day by jumping off of a canyon cliff (I'm probably slaughtering this story haha but we're gettin' to the good stuff). When Puss in Boots goes to see where Humpty fell in the canyon, he sees a Golden Egg surrounded by cracked egg shell. Humpty survived the fall, and Puss says, "I always knew you were good inside."

The woman who told this story explained that sometimes it’s hard to find the good in others or even to find the good in yourself. We are hard on others and even harder on ourselves: we are our worst critics. We let outside appearances or past indiscretions taint our opinions of others and contort the lens through which we see ourselves. We're quick to pass judgment instead of quick to forgive and to love. This woman told about how, ironically, she was driving to church and passed by a man whom she immediately judged based on his outward appearance. She caught herself mid-judgment and was reminded of Humpty Dumpty: the Golden Egg. She felt impressed that he was someone's Golden Egg. That we are all someone's Golden Egg. That we are all God's children, and we need to see people as who they can become. Seeing them as someone who has tremendous worth and potential. Because we've all got serious potential, if only we could see it!

And that was her message: That we are all Golden Eggs. We all have imperfections and parts of ourselves that we feel just don't quite make the cut. Parts of us that make us feel less-than. Things about ourselves we wish we were better at. This woman shared that in the eyes of the world, she might not have accomplishments or characteristics that define her as successful and beautiful. But in God's eyes, she is both. In God's eyes she is more beautiful than she can even fathom. I can't even begin to describe the power that was in her message! I felt strength and reassurance in the fact that I am a Golden Egg. That you are a Golden Egg! I felt confidence in that truth. We all have such different exteriors and live in such different circumstances, but we find common ground in that we are all beautiful sons and daughters of a God who loves us with a love that is infinite and unconditional. I hope you feel that today. Especially if today is a day you feel a little less-than or like you're not quite enough. Because you are. For heavens’ sakes, you really are!

Cheers to being Golden Eggs y'all.

Ashton Tilton

Making the Menial Meaningful: Meal Preparation

noreply@blogger.com (BYU Women's Services) — Fri, 03 Oct 2014 14:35:00 +0000

I have never been much of a chef. Well, unless you count the day I spent with a professional chef after winning an essay contest in 5^th grade. But I don’t generally count that.

I was recently calculating how many meals I would have prepared as an undergrad. Now, if we were to pretend that it only took me four years to graduate, and that I prepared three meals a day every day; and then I were to subtract all the fast Sundays, free food on campus meals and meals I purchased, I calculated that I would have prepared around 4000 meals during those four years.

With those 4000 meals worth of experience alone, you might think that I’d feel pretty confident in the kitchen. You’d be wrong. While I have basic cooking skills and know how to follow a recipe, I’ve never loved cooking or felt confident in my skills. In fact, when I think of my desire to someday be a wife and stay-at-home mother, I start to feel anxious when I think about how that will involve meal preparation.

And I don’t just worry that I won’t be good at it. I worry that I won’t enjoy it. I worry that I will resent preparing three meals a day, which is almost 1082 meals each year. I worry that I will view meal preparation as a menial task that I have to do but won’t want to do.

Often, when I am confronted with a menial or undesirable task, I try to find meaning in. I find fulfillment in doing things that fulfill a significant purpose. I’ve spent some time pondering how meal preparation is meaningful and significant, and I want to share what I have found.

A Work of Creation

Cooking is creating. One of Christ’s roles as well as one of His attributes is as a creator. When we create, we emulate one of His attributes. To cook or prepare a meal is to create something. We create things that could not exist without the use of our hands. When we prepare meals we create something that gives strength, that touches the senses, and that can be beautiful.

Sustaining Life

Food is necessary for maintaining life. If we don’t eat we starve. When we prepare meals, we are providing the resources necessary to sustain life. The food we eat gives energy and allows us to grow and helps our bodies function. Without food to eat, our bodies would atrophy, we would grow weak and ill, and we would cease to function and to live.

Unifying Families

Meal time is a time that families can come together physically to join in a shared activity and engage in conversation. There is power in gathering, and there is power in families. Meal time brings families together. It provides opportunities for families to join in prayers of gratitude. It is also a time to talk and connect.

Being an Instrument in the Hands of God

I found a scripture in the Book of Mormon that gave me added appreciation for the eternal implications of providing and preparing food for our families. It is found in 2 Nephi 1:24. Here Lehi is teaching his sons. He is counseling his rebellious boys to be kinder to Nephi. He describes Nephi as having been “an instrument in the hands of God”. And Lehi provides one and only one example of how Nephi was an instrument. And it didn’t relate to visions, boat-building, scripture-writing, or sermon-giving. He remind Laman and Lemuel that “were it not for him, we must have perished with hunger in the wilderness.” He is essentially saying, if it weren’t for Nephi we would have starved to death and never would have made it to the promised land. God used Nephi to provide food so that the family could live, travel and see God’s promises fulfilled.

We have an eternal promised land prepared for us. And in order to gain the earthly experience necessary to progress toward it, we need to be sustained in living. And so God uses us as instruments in His hands to help families in their mortal journey. When you prepare food for your family, you are an instrument in the hands of God in helping family members lengthen their days of probation so that they can prepare to meet God and receive eternal life.

How’s that for making the menial meaningful?

Whether you are a single student making meals for yourself, a stay-at-home mom cooking those 1082 meals a year, or are sharing cooking responsibilities with a spouse, you likely have and will continue to have food preparation be part of your life. And if you ever have those days where it feels unenjoyable and menial, I hope that you can remember that it is meaningful and that you can find fulfillment in knowing the greatness of the work that you are doing and blessings that you are providing for others.

By: Allison Ellsworth

https://waxingstrong.wordpress.com/

On Being Pro-Wrinkle

noreply@blogger.com (BYU Women's Services) — Wed, 01 Oct 2014 14:41:00 +0000

Photo by Fechi Fajardo

So I have dry skin, and I live in the middle of what many people call a desert. It's a problem for my poor face, which is in a constant state of dearth, like a dry riverbed patterned with cracked segments of dirt. I've been around the moisturizer block once or twice, but haven't quite found a product that quenches the thirst of my sad, decrepit skin.

Thus, I've been on a journey to find a moisturizer that can sock a punch at desert dryness. I started my journey at my friendly neighborhood Walmart looking for ointments labeled “for extreme dryness” or “intense moisturizer” or other advertising mumbo jumbo. Instead I found the words “anti-wrinkle” and “age-defying” plastered on a hundred different products. At first, I was amused, but I quickly became frustrated as I searched bottle after bottle and ointment jar after ointment jar for a product focused on the health of my skin rather than on the looks of my skin. First of all, I'm twenty-seven years old. I have no wrinkles, and I find it hard to believe that I'm the only young person, or older person for that matter, who has dry skin. Secondly—and more importantly—why are we so focused on looks? This ridiculous replacement of health for beauty surrounds us constantly. Advertisers sell whitening toothpaste louder than they do cavity-fighting toothpaste. Every new year we a bombarded with ads to help us get a “bikini body” by summer rather than get a healthier heart for life.

Why are we anti-wrinkle? Why are old men called ruggedly handsome and old women called wrinkled and ugly? I know that all these anti-wrinkle creams have the moisturizing powers I need, but I didn't buy any of them because I refuse to support the idea that this (see below) is ugly.

My body is not an item to be minutely criticized from earlobe to thigh gap to pedicured toe. It's not perfect by media standards, but I try to keep it healthy including emotionally loving it with my thoughts and words—and I'm tired of finding reasons to fix another part of it everywhere I look.

So to the anti-wrinkle cream producers out there, I see your lie. I know you are just creating a need for me to spend money on to fix it. But when I look at myself in the mirror I see nothing broken there. I'm housed in a working body granted me in the miracle of birth. It's beautiful, future wrinkles and all.

Wrinkles: a physical showing of experiences, joys, sorrows, and a life lived

Cheers,

Amanda Kae

Happily Every After

noreply@blogger.com (BYU Women's Services) — Tue, 30 Sep 2014 16:28:00 +0000

Marriage is hard. We hear that all over the place these days. So if it’s so hard, what’s the hype all about in the church? There are happily married folks out there who just rave about marriage –what do they know that the carnal world doesn't? I’ll tell you what they know: “Adam fell that men might be and men are that they might have joy” (2 Nephi 2:25).

Sunshine cannot exist without creating shadows. Our capacity to feel joy is opposed by an equal capacity to feel pain. When our potential for joy grows, such as when we get married or have children, so does our capacity for pain.

Yes, marriage is hard. However, at least for me, it’s all worth it. Those wonderful and precious moments of pure joy like I've never known before make it feel easy to endure the pain and hardship that surely comes along. No, it’s not easy, but it can feel that way. God’s plan is often called, “The Plan of Happiness.” That plan is marriage, it is families, and it is an eternal Heavenly Mother and Heavenly Father.

Those of you who are not married and wish you were, do not despair! Greater pain means greater joy right? “Men are that they might have joy.” Even though you may feel lonely now and maybe feel like there’s no one out there for you, you faithful folks will have the opportunity someday to be with someone you love for eternity. It is His plan. He will give everyone the opportunity to have the greatest joy.

“Go forth with love to tell the world the joy of families” (Go Forth with Faith, hymn 263).