Women are always beautiful

Raising an Olympian - GABBY DOUGLAS

2012-08-04T13:37:00.002-04:00

Cycling for Fun, Fitness and a Good Cause

2012-06-25T13:58:00.002-04:00

I had a blast riding with other DC bike enthusiast in the Tour de Fat. It was a fun day that raised over $15,000 dollars for the WABA (Washington Area Bicyclist Association). Take a look all the fun we had!

My Road to Runner Journey

2012-06-25T13:47:00.001-04:00

Six weeks ago I decided I wanted to become a runner. I did my research and decided on an eight week walk/run program. I started walking for five minutes, running for one minute, walking for two, walking for one, until I completed 30 minutes. At first I couldn't even run for two minutes straight. OK, for ONE minute straight. It was during those times that I wondered if I would EVER become a runner. Eventually I got stronger. I'm no wimp to begin with. I bike a minimum of 25 miles a week and I started a weight lifting program back in March. But running.. well... running was a whole other animal. After three weeks, running 10 minutes became the new normal. Soon, by the time I got to the end of the four weeks, running two miles was the new norm.

Here's a look at a few of my video diaries of my journey along the way. I'm still not ready for a 5K but at least I know that one day... I will get there.

You can check out all my videos on social cam at http://socialcam.com/u/OQ1YM5Mt

Blogalicious 2011 Is Just 10 Days Away!

2011-10-11T21:47:00.000-04:00

In just 10 short days bloggers from around the country will come together at the Gaylord National Hotel in D.C. for the Blogalicious conference. We'll be celebrating diversity in social media, sharing best practices and having a whole lot of fun bonding.

"Whether your social media focus is business, storytelling, technology, politics, parenting, lifestyle or social change, the networking and educational aspects of Blogalicious will motivate and inspire."

The Countdown is on but there's still time for you to get involved. Here's how:

You can take a look at the full Blogalicious agenda HERE!
Although the Blogalicious guest room block at the Gaylord Resort is SOLD OUT you may still be able to book a room. Check out some of these nearby options. And, if you're looking for a roommate, please visit the roommate forum.
Is a brand sponsoring your trip to Blogalicious? If so, make sure to familiarize yourself with our Sponsored Blogger Policy.
For more info about the conference, please visit blogaliciousweekend.beblogalicious.com
Remember to follow Blogalicious on Twitter at @beblogalicious and use the hashtag #Blogalicious11 in your online travels!

See you online AND at the Blogalicious conference!

#Blogalicious11 Is Just 10 Days Away!:

'via Blog this'

Dating: Not a Spectator Sport

2011-09-08T17:49:00.001-04:00

I've been getting all kinds of dating advise from my girlfriends... some solicited... some not. "Sistas Are Single" by Shannon Renee celebrates our choices in being single rather than diminishing them. I'd like to think that after decades of dating I've got this one down but clearly I'm doing something wrong if I haven't found "the one" yet.

Don't get me wrong... PLEASE... because being single has many advantages. Plus, truth be told, I can get a date any day or night of the week. But finding that guy for the "death do us part" thing... yeah... well... that's a little harder. Also, I know all too well that the goal line is not getting married, the goal is to have a long, healthy, supportive partnership that will last "until death do we part".

I have so many friends who are terribly unhappy in their marriages or who have settled for something far less than they had originally anticipated. Hope runs eternal for me that I will find "the one." I'm willing to go through Shannon's list and make sure I don't fall into any of the categories she has mentioned. I'm also willing to push myself outside my comfort zone and try online dating, take recommendations from friends, and go where the men are. I'll let you know how it all this turns out because dating is not a spectator sport. You've gotta get in the game if you want to win!

Here are Shannon's top five:

We don't go out or socialize with others --> we're waiting for Prince Charming to come to us. The only person who's going to ring the doorbell is the mailman, and our bougie selves won't even consider him. You know you won't, don't front.
We don't go out alone --> we go out in groups with our girlfriends. Very, very, very few men are going to have the nerve to risk walking up to a group of women to speak to one of them. It really is okay to go out to dinner, see a movie or visit a museum all by your lonesome.
We don't have a realistic expectations --> we are still looking for Mr. Perfect, the man who meets all of our criteria. The perfect man doesn't exist. The checklist we have in heads (or have even written down) needs to be edited for the 21st century. Stop being so darn picky!
We don't have or make time for a relationship -->we work 60+ hour weeks, volunteer at church, have family obligations and hang with our BFFs. Relationships take time and attention to grow. We have to be willing to let go of some things to make room for a man in our lives.
We don't let go or ask questions --> we stay in relationships longer than we should. This isn't the right time, he has to focus on this, that or the other thing first, he's not ready to settle down yet...ALL excuses. We need to be in control of our lives, we're older and don't have time to waste on foolishness.

Read more from Shannon Sez So and the 8 Reasons Sistas Are Single by click here and let me know what you are doing to get in and stay in the game.

How Do I Find That Look? There's An App For That!

2011-08-30T00:05:00.001-04:00

A location-based fashion app that lets you discover and share bags and shoes from anywhere in the world. Every word in that sentence makes me smile. It's like FoodSpotting on Foursquare but for fashion! Did I mention you could find and share shoes... SHOES!

Amplify’d from thenextweb.com

Harvard Business School girls are at it again. Gilt Groupe, BirchBox, LearnVest, AfterSteps, Take The Interview, the list of New York City startups led by women who’ve launched profitable business plans out of Cambridge, MA is growing fast. The latest startup, Snapette, is run by HBS graduate Jinhee Kim and current HBS student Sarah Paiji.

Snapette hit the app store in mid-August and asserts itself as the first location-based fashion app that lets you discover and share bags and shoes from anywhere in the world. It’s like Foodspotting for fashion or Foursquare’s Explore feature for accessories. If you’re out shopping the streets, you can use Snapette to search for fashion items around you from crowd-sourced photos and descriptions that other “Snapettes” have shared. You can search by brand, store or description, or by what’s rated “New”, “Near” and “Hot”, and share photos and comments with other users, as well as follow them. If it takes off, the app could be a win for retailers, as it drives foot traffic into physical stores and provides a platform to engage with customers.

Read more at thenextweb.com

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How Facebook can affirm a woman's singlehood

2011-08-17T13:40:00.002-04:00

Should women actually turn to Facebook for validation? I guess we should support whatever means will uplift a women's self esteem but I hope we can create more role models for young women that allow them to define themselves by what they give to life, rather than the position they hold in it.

Amplify’d from www.salon.com

When you think of a successful woman in her 30s clicking through Facebook photos of her high school boyfriend's wedding or her married friend's new baby, the assumption is likely that she's filled with jealousy and regret. The social networking site has a reputation for feeding envy, after all, and the pressure young women face to get hitched and have kids is the stuff of popular romantic comedies. What's interesting, though, is that I've found the opposite is often true.

My friend Katherine is successful, dynamic and fiercely intelligent -- but, unmarried and childless at 32, she feels pressure from some to hurry up and achieve something that really matters: settling down and having kids. There is nothing new about a woman wondering if she's sacrificed her love life for her career -- but what is new is how Facebook is allowing these women to compare how their life choices have panned out with those of their peers, and sometimes it's actually validating.

Katherine recently told me, "I go on there and I see these beautiful, intelligent women that I grew up with and they're all married to these accountant types who wear polos and golf on the weekends. Yes, they have kids, a home and a husband -- but it just looks so painfully, unbearably boring." Granted, the whole truth is that she also sometimes feels jealousy -- for instance, when a friend who is married with a baby posts about "drinking a glass of wine and eating oysters with her husband at their cute house with the bathroom they just remodeled themselves." She says, "I can see that I have sacrificed relationships and family for career success, and seeing my peers with their kids on Facebook certainly amplifies that."

Despite all the choices available to women today, many still fret that in putting their career first and worrying about marriage and kids later they will ultimately miss out on the latter. There is a biological reality behind these concerns, but there are also plenty of cultural myths and trumped-up anxiety -- the lonely cat lady who dies without anyone noticing and ends up being eaten by her hungry companion, for example -- that serve as cautionary tales. The warning, of course, is that we will be punished for being too ambitious and going against our basic nature. Given the high stakes, it's no surprise that this often leads to comparisons and competition -- and Facebook serves as a virtual looking glass through which to explore the path not taken.

Read more at www.salon.com

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Men Say The Darndest Things

2011-07-07T16:33:00.001-04:00

I ran across the Man Of The House site and have been delving into the mind of a man. Below is a partial list from the 10 Things You Should Never, Ever Say (to a woman). The list is pretty thorough but I wanted to add a few of my own:

You're right, you DO need to lose weight
You're going to wear that?
Why don't you ______________ (insert any stupid idea)
I guess your last boyfriend ____________ (again, insert any stupid idea)
No, nothing is wrong (when clearly something is)

I'd elaborate but I'm trying to not live in the past. I'm single... I don't have to hear any of this nonsense anymore and if I do... on to the next.

Amplify’d from manofthehouse.com

“Guys say the stupidest things.” That’s a near universal female observation. And let’s face it: there’s more than a grain of truth in it. We guys do say some pretty idiotic stuff. Thing is, we rarely mean to. In fact, we often don’t even know that we did! What to do? Channel your fifth grade teacher and remember to think before you speak. Behind otherwise benign statements lurk some rather, well, stupid stuff. Here are ten statements that are likely to get you into trouble, and how to avoid them.
1. “You’re over-reacting.”While this may be true from an objective standpoint, she will never agree, at least not on the spot. No matter what she may be throwing at you, be that insults or ceramic knick-knacks, she believes she’s acting appropriately. So duck if you have to and then say something like this: “I don’t blame you for being upset, but I’d rather focus our energy on fixing the problem.”
2. “You’re not being logical.”Once again, you may be right, but that’s beside the point. (Note that we said “may.”) When in the midst of a debate, one plus one can equal three. Put logic aside, and listen for the core matter as she sees it. Hopefully she’ll return the favor when you suggest, for instance, that because it’s the third Sunday of the month, it would be a crime against humanity if you didn’t go fishing.
3. “Who put that idea in your head, your mother?” On a calm day, your wife or main squeeze may concur that her mother is a bit “out there.” However, when you suggest that some beef or ideas of hers isn’t genuine and, instead, has been “planted” by her mother (or sister, or girlfriend), it suggests that she can’t think for herself. Treat her thoughts and ideas as her own, regardless of their origin.
Read more at manofthehouse.com

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Book Camp Week #2

2011-07-05T20:29:00.000-04:00

My First Boot Camp

2011-07-05T20:28:00.000-04:00

Life-size Barbie, ladies, what say you?

2011-04-15T16:34:00.002-04:00

All of a sudden Barbie isn't such a doll now is she?

Growing up I LOVED my Barbie dolls. Right about now my cousin is going to chime in here and tell the story about how I wouldn't share my Barbie dolls with her. Yes, several decades later this is STILL a sore spot with her.

As much as I loved Barbie, I never got caught up in her looks. Well, that's not entirely true. I did imagine Malibu Barbie and Ken were of African American descent but other that's about it. I never felt like I had to live up to her ideal. There could have been a subliminal message going on that I didn't know about but clearly this is open for debate. Read on and tell me what you think.

Amplify’d from today.msnbc.msn.com

Barbie’s not just a doll.

In Galia Slayen’s hands, the iconic blond plaything has morphed into a life-size representation of what an eating disorder looks like.

Four years ago, Slayen, then a student at Lincoln High School in Portland, Ore., built what she believed to be a life-size version of the doll she played with as a child as part of the first National Eating Disorders Awareness Week.

Galia Slayen made a Barbie doll that stands about 6 feet tall with a 39" bust, 18" waist, and 33" hips.

“I was at a friend’s house and her mom’s an artist so there were all these art supplies around,” Slayen told TODAY.com. “She helped with the actual proportions.”

The Barbie stands about 6 feet tall with a 39" bust, 18" waist and 33" hips. She is made of wood, chicken wire and papier mache, and is dressed in a size 00 skirt that was a remnant from Slayen’s one-year bout with anorexia.

“I’m not blaming Barbie [for my illness] — she’s one small factor, an environmental factor,” Slayen said. “I’m blond and blue-eyed and I figured that was what I was supposed to look like. She was my idol. It impacted the way I looked at myself.”

The goal in creating Barbie’s likeness was to start conversation. “Talking about eating disorders is taboo to many people, and this made people talk about it,” Slayen said. “It’s a shocking image. A lot of people have seen it, and it’s started debates,” she said, particularly after she wrote about it for the Huffington Post. “Her proportions are not 100 percent correct, but her look is not invalid.”

“As a pop-cultural icon, Barbie is often used as art to express one’s own personal opinions and views,” a Mattel spokesperson said in an email. “Girls see female body images everywhere today and it’s critical that parents and caregivers provide perspective on what they are seeing. It’s important to remember that Barbie is a doll who stands 11.5 inches tall and weighs 7.25 ounces — she was never modeled on the proportions of a real person.”

Read more at today.msnbc.msn.com

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How Women Really Feel About Their Facebook Friends

2011-03-30T11:23:00.003-04:00

"Daily deals site Eversave talked to 400 women about their Facebook relationships. The company originally conducted the survey as market research on the social network’s influence on the daily deals ecosystem, but Eversave was surprised to uncover the love/hate relationship between women and their online friends.

For example, the majority of female respondents said they had at least one friend who was a “drama queen” on Facebook. A majority also said they had at least one obnoxiously “proud mother” as a Facebook friend.

Most women — 83% of respondents in this survey — are annoyed at one time or another by the posts from their Facebook connections. For these respondents, the most off-putting post was some kind of whine; a full 63% said complaining from Facebook friends was their number one pet peeve, with political chatter and bragging coming in a distant second and third.

The respondents also said at least one of their Facebook friends tended to:

* Share too many mundane updates too often (65%)

* “Like” too many posts (46%)

* Inappropriately or too frequently use Facebook to promote causes (40%)

* Project false information or images of a perfect life (40%)

Read more from our friends a Mashable.com

Amplify’d from mashable.com

See more at mashable.com

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It's Official... Barbie and Ken are BACK together!

2011-02-14T10:03:00.001-05:00

It seemed like a silly little story when Barbie changed her Facebook status to "in a relationship", announcing to the world she was back together with Ken. But, it has actually turned into a media event, being picked up by USA Today and Entertainment Weekly. Plus, it is an amazing marketing move for Mattel. They just announced a new gift set to commemorate the couple's reunion, just in time for Valentine's Day. But what I want to know is, after dating Barbie for 43 years, when is Ken going to propose already! Or maybe he did and Barbie is just too busy with her career as a doctor, aerobic instructor, veterinarian and supermodel. Heck, no wonder Ken wanted her back!

Amplify’d from popwatch.ew.com

One of America’s most epic romances is back on: Mattel is announcing today that, after shocking the world with their break-up in 2004 and rekindling their love on the set of last year’s blockbuster Toy Story 3, Barbie and Ken have decided to give love another chance after seven years apart. The pair’s plastic love is red-hot once again, just in time for the most romantic of holidays, Valentine’s Day. Yesterday, Barbie hinted that something might be in the works on her Facebook page with the status update: “Who knows…maybe I’ll have a Valentine this year.” Early this morning, Barbie changed her status on Facebook to “In a Relationship.”

EW called up Mattel to get a little context on the news. “They were reunited as costars, as you know, on the set of Toy Story 3,” explains Lisa McKnight, vice president of marketing at Mattel. “As we like to put it, they found they were kind of missing each other. They had a lot of fun together. Now a little time has passed since the shoot and all the premiere noise around the movie and all that good stuff, and I think they both realized that they’re made for each other.”

In case you’re unfamiliar, here’s a quick refresher on the couple’s storied romance: Barbie and Ken met on the set of their first commercial in the spring of 1961. They were together and happy—winding their way through the sometimes-hilarious trends of the ’60s, ’70s, ’80s, and ’90s—before tragedy struck on Valentine’s Day in 2004: The couple surprisingly announced that they were going to spend time apart, and Barbie began dating the charming Australian surfer Blaine. In 2006, Ken made a play for Barbie’s heart again with a Hollywood makeover and while it scored him big points with Barbie, the two just remained friends. Their casting in last year’s sequel Toy Story 3, however, brought them back together, and things began to rekindle for the pair, leading to today’s announcement. The full story of the couple getting back together has been well documented.

So was their seven-year split just a blip on the radar for these star-crossed lovers? “To be fair to them, they have been together for about 43 years, so you know, I think everyone needs a break,” says McKinght. “So they took a little break and had fun out on their own and were certainly out and about, but I think ultimately, again, they were destined for each other.”
Read more at popwatch.ew.com

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The Science of Love, Attraction and Heartbreak

2011-02-13T22:55:00.001-05:00

Valentine's Day is a holiday that celebrates love, romance and the story of St. Valentine. It's a day made for lovers and couples. But single or married, divorced or engaged, we are in need of this thing called love. Some of us search all of our lives for it. It's an emotion that fuels the fire of amazing love songs, moving poems, and great art. But, as Tina Turner sang, "what does love have to do with it?" It really is just a chemical reaction. You can't fake it or duplicate it. But, there is a science to this thing called love. Check out this video from the History Channel on the science of love and attraction.

Love is all well and good until your love interest doesn't return your affection. So, how do we respond to rejection when our love isn't returned? Believe it or not, that is also a chemical reaction. More from the History Channel on the science of love and heartbreak.

Happy Valentine's Day! Whether you are in love or mending a broken heart, remember that you are worthy of an abundance of love and recall the words from a Whitney Houston song:

The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

Top 10 Business Blogs for Women - You Go Girl!

2011-01-29T12:29:00.001-05:00

It's always encouraging and uplifting to see business minded women bloggers getting recognized for their work in promoting business growth, opportunities and resource sharing. Also wonderful to see the ladies of Women Grow Business made the list!

Amplify’d from littlepinkbook.com

Top 10 Business Blogs for Women

By Caroline Cox & Muriel Vega

Women turn to blogs nearly twice as often as social networking sites to find information and share opinions, so it’s no surprise women business blogs are booming. Blogs are a great way to find resources, connect with other career women and share tips, advice and words of wisdom. Furthermore, blogs can connect businesswomen who are driven to succeed and gain equity at work and joy in life, the same mission we have here at PINK.
Here is PINK’s list of the top business blogs for women, based on site traffic, credibility and business know-how:

Brazen Careerist: Penelope Trunk’s blog is her third start-up. Through her posts, she caters to Generation Y and dispenses career management advice, like how to ignore people who steal ideas or effective ways to pay attention during a conference call.

She Takes on the World: Started by Natalie MacNeil, this Stevie Awards finalist for Blog of the Year caters to your dream career. With features like interviews with up-and-coming businesswomen and tips on how to focus on your future, founder MacNeil puts her entrepreneurship experiences to work and provides plenty of career-savvy advice through posts.

The Glass Hammer: Their tagline is short but powerful: “smart women in numbers.” With a focus on finance, law and business, this online community hosts hundreds of bloggers, is one of the top leadership blogs and addresses tough subjects like gender discrimination and failure.

BlogHer: At “23+ million unique visitors per month,” BlogHer is the largest female blogging community. In addition to being a blog-hosting site, they also hold conferences and have a publishing network for blogs written by qualified, professional women.

Women on Business: CEO Susan Gunelius has worked at some of the world’s largest companies for nearly 20 years and has written several books. Forbes put Women on Business in their list of the Top 100 Websites for Women (along with PINK!) and the site offers sources, ways to contribute and even posts job openings around the U.S.

She-conomy: This blog focuses on and recognizes the marketing power women have (they make 85 percent of all brand purchases) and how untapped their market is. Packed with up-to-date news, statistics and frequent lists of top brands that women value, this blog is a resource for companies trying to cater better to their female audience.

Flokka: If you’re looking to start your own blog to share your business experience and workplace wisdom, Flokka is the place to start. They help you easily set up your blog and connect with fellow businesswomen bloggers. They even offer benefits, like the opportunity to be featured on their homepage and the ability to earn a percentage of their ad revenue.

Women Grow Business: From topics like “The Work Impacts of Domestic Violence” to “Release Yourself from the Press Release” and “The Myth of Brand Control,” WGB is a great resource for timely topics, a wealth of advice and a forum to discuss the issues that matter to career women.

The Boss of You: Two business partners started this blog, focused on women who can successfully run their own business—they recently turned the idea into a book of the same title. Their blog focuses on independent, creative women mastering the business world.

Making It Legal: Hosted by Entrepreneur.com, award-winning attorney, author and speaker Nina Kaufman’s blog focuses on helping your business avoid legal hurdles. She also offers a plethora of legal resources and uses her well-honed humor to keep her posts interesting.

Read more at littlepinkbook.com

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What Men Aren't Telling Us

2011-01-18T14:33:00.001-05:00

I have never, in all my born days, heard a man express ANYTHING like this author shared. When I do, when I find a man who HONESTLY feels this way and isn't just trying to use these kind of expressions to manipulate me, I think I would have finally found my soul mate.

Amplify’d from www.oprah.com

Photo: Stockbyte/Getty Images

That women are mysterious and unknowable is something every young man grows up believing. Men, on the other hand, never think of themselves as mysterious or confusing, and we are often at a loss as to why women want to figure us out. But since you asked:

When you say we don't really talk to you or reveal ourselves to you, we wish you knew just how much we have had to suppress about our desires, pains, fears, and vulnerability over the years to conform to the script of masculinity that we are given. Sometimes we don't open up because we are afraid of what we will find. We are also afraid that if you see who we really are, in all our flawed humanity (and not the flaws that annoy you, like being untidy or driving fast), you won't like us.

Men do communicate, often very directly, but women sometimes cannot accept how simple what we have to say is. We seldom play games—we aren't that sophisticated. If we don't call you for a couple of days after a date, it is because either we are afraid you will think we are stalkers (and we will call on day three) or we aren't into you. That's all there is.

We are as nervous as you are about sex; I don't care what you've heard. Your anatomy is a mystery that nobody bothers explaining to us. Even when we think we have mastered one woman's body, every body is different. We feel inadequate if we can't satisfy you in bed, and since no one has told us what to do with feelings of inadequacy, we project them onto you. Sad but true.

We are very insecure about how we look and what you really think about us, and we are excited when you do small, nice things for us like make coffee or come with us to the barber or just buy us a good book. We've been trained never to show this side to you, but it is there.

We are not subtle creatures. You might think that when you play with your hair in our presence, we know that means you like us. We don't know for sure. Men who do are bad men (sorry, guys!). And anything you've been told about playing hard to get is wrong.

We crave cuddling and hand-holding, maybe even more than you do.

We are desperate to please you because we know you are far sexier and more beautiful than you will ever admit to yourself, and we're confused (but extremely happy) as to why you like us.

Here's the thing: You rescue us every day in small, quiet ways, so why not in this way? Let us into your mystery, tell us how you would like to be loved, show us how to see you, really see you.

Read more at www.oprah.com

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A Conversation with Tyrese about Saving Our Youth

2011-01-07T01:37:00.001-05:00

Click to view large

Just before Tyrese Darnell Gibson, also known simply as Tyrese, hit the red carpet for the Kennedy Center Honors, I caught up with him at a Georgetown Hoyas game to discuss a venture near and dear to his heart, “Community in Schools.”

Click to view large

Tyrese, an R&B singer, songwriter, rapper, actor, model and former MTV VJ first came to my attention when he did his very first TV interview on BET’s Video Soul. I was a young Senior Producer and he was a model looking to crossover into the music business. Fast forward several years and we found ourselves in a sky box at the Verizon Center in Washington, DC reminiscing about old times and talking about the dire state our youth find themselves in. While the official announcement won’t be made until next month, Tyrese spoke to a few select DC bloggers and I about his upcoming appointment as the spokesperson for “Community In Schools” and his role as the voice of the youth and the mission of the program.

You may think of him as only a pretty face and a talent singer/actor, but to his friends and the children he represents, Tyrese is a beacon of hope.

At a time when dropout rates are an issue in all communities, The Alliance for Excellent Education, an advocacy group based in Washington, D.C., estimates that dropouts each year cost the nation more than $300 billion in lost income. Community In Schools is making it their mission to beat those odds. Tameka Green, CEO of Community In Schools in the Nation’s Capitol shared with me the program’s mission to combate the dropout rates in Washington, DC.

Championing the connection of needed community resources with schools to help young people learn, Community In Schools goal is to help students stay in school, and prepare for life.

Congratulations and many thanks to Tyrese and Community In Schools for taking on the challenge of decreasing school dropout rates and for their continued dedication to our youth. To learn more about Community In Schools go to their website at http://www.communitiesinschools.org/ and look for the announcement of Tyrese as their new spokesperson coming in February.

I will not stalk my ex on Facebook, and other social media resolutions

2011-01-06T21:16:00.001-05:00

A friend of mine (who I met through social media) shared this post with me and I just had to add my two cents. I'll admit that I stoped dating a guy because he "stalked" my Facebook page, my Twitter feed and my blog posts. I'm sorry but he was just creepy and he got even creepier as the days rolled on. I'll also admit that I "unfriended" an ex when he got married... NOT because he got married... but because he admitted he kept up with my whereabouts on Facebook (uh, no you don't buddy... you're married now... don't you worry about what I'm doing). Yet, I'm not one of those people who checks up on someone's social sites. You would think with my type A personality and my controlling nature that I would be all over some guys page but it's really not my style. In fact, my single girlfriends who are also "power users" have a rule: If we are seriously dating someone, you cannot be their friend on Facebook, allow them to follow you on Twitter and if it gets really deep, you might even want to block them from reading your blog posts.

Here's the rub... what if they are already your "friend" or "follower" and THEN you start dating them? Ahhhhh, dating in 2011 just got interesting didn't it? I'll be blogging about that very soon but if we're dating you'll never get a chance to see that post now will you?

I need a certain amount of freedom to be me. I need to check in on Foursquare, write about my feelings and post content without censorship. So, while some folks need help NOT stalking other people, I need help making sure other people don't cyber stalk me! That is all...

Amplify’d from thenextweb.com

On Christmas day 2009, my ex defriended me on Foursquare and stopped following me on Twitter.

Fair enough, I suppose. I didn’t need to know what bars he was going to and he didn’t need to read my 140-character self-deprecations. But I noticed his unfollow immediately and I cried, really hard. Three glasses of mulled cider later and I began to meditate on the aspects of sharing our lives, our work and our love online.

For all the other modern messes out there, here are 5 New Year’s social media related resolutions:

1. I will not stalk my ex on Facebook. There are so many different reasons why Facebook makes breaking up with people exponentially harder. First, if you were in an established Facebook relationship, the ensuing broken relationship will fill up your friends’ newsfeeds, dragging your already broken heart out into the virtual highway. Second, it means you have access to his or her life, even after you are no longer a part of it. If you don’t have enough willpower to avoid viewing your ex’s photos like a slideshow, then feel free to de-friend him or her. Just realize, that chances are they won’t ask for your friendship on Facebook ever again so it could make for an awkward digital reconciliation .

2. I will be more discerning with my friend requests. On Facebook, if your News Feed looks anything like mine these days, then you need to start being more discerning with your friend requests. Ask yourself 3 questions: Have I met this person in real life? Do we have mutual friends? Do I want this person to see photos of me and status updates for the rest of my Facebook using life? If no, then hit ignore or keep them on the wait list until you can answer yes to all three of those questions, otherwise known as Facebook purgatory.

On Foursquare, this is even more important. You can’t seriously want people you don’t even know to know where you are every time you check-in. That’s downright dangerous. I receive loads of Foursquare friend requests from people I don’t even know, most of the time its because they are new to the platform and haven’t realized Foursquare is more personal in nature than other platforms. But some of the time, the requests are simply scary.

3. I will not “auto” anything on Twitter. Don’t auto-follow. Don’t auto-DM. Don’t auto-tweet. Don’t do anything that shortcuts the already less-than-personal nature of social media. Nobody likes being on the receiving end of auto-generated messages, so don’t be the person to send them. In other words, be a human.

4. I will not spam my “friends” asking them to “Like me.” So you’re an artist, a fashion designer, or a musician, or you just think you’re going to be famous because you live in L.A. and you can breathe properly. Don’t badger your entire network asking them to “Like” you. If you’re really trying to get your message out there and gain notoriety ask your Mom, Dad, your roommate, a couple close friends, your boss and your significant other, but then stop there. More importantly, do something worth notoriety. If its truly notable, people will notice. It’s already a shallow effort and chances are you’ll piss off quite a few people who would’ve “Liked you” on their own without having you request their approval. Lastly, you’re devaluing the entire “Like” process by guilting your friends into adding one more “Like” to their Facebook page.

5. I will forget about MySpace. MySpace had its day, along with Ace of Base, white washed jeans and JNCOs. There are much better ways to waste your time on the Internet.
Read more at thenextweb.com

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2011: The Rise of a New Breed of Blogger

2011-01-06T20:57:00.001-05:00

I am LOVING the term "Lifestyle Blogger". Have I found my calling?

Amplify’d from www247.americanexpress.com

Let’s face it: blogging is big business. I predict that in 2011, there will be a rise of Lifestyle Bloggers. This new breed of business-savvy blogger not only writes, but also handles business development and prioritizes having a fulfilling life NOW. Cash flow positive with a happy, small and flexible team, this type of blogger has a balanced, sustainable new business model.

As creating content gets easier, we are faced with more noise online than ever before and more data than people are willing or able to parse. Curation was the inevitable trend of 2010 -- everyone from huge corporations to small businesses to college kids uses platforms like Tumblr and Twitter to distribute content and create influence. In 2011, we’ll need people to curate the curators to find a more refined signal.

This is where the Lifestyle Blogger comes in. Are you a Lifestyle Blogger? Do you want to be? If not, does your business know how to best work with and benefit from this rising group?

Read more at www247.americanexpress.com

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Why Women Should Flirt at Work

2010-12-01T15:52:00.001-05:00

I love the disclaimer from Fastcompany.com: "This blog is written by a member of our expert blogging community and expresses that expert's views alone". Let me qualify that this blog doesn't necessarily express my views either. However, feel free to flirt with the author, Alicia, at www.aliciamorga.com. and you can flirt me right here on this blog.

Amplify’d from www.fastcompany.com

Although women make up half of the nation's workforce, they hold only 16.4% of corporate offices in the fortune 500, 14.7% of Fortune 500 board seats and 1.6% of Fortune 500 CEO positions (Catalyst 2007). Okay, you've heard all that before. What's new?

Research that explains what may be going on at work. According to researchers Tinsley, Cheldelin, Schneider, and Amanatullah, who authored "Women at the Bargaining Table: Pitfalls and Prospects" women are in a classic double bind: "women may be perceived as competent but unlikable or as likable but incompetent." This bind exists because there are very strong female stereotypes in our culture.

Of course this is not news to any woman in the field, but these researchers discovered that "women who violate gendered expectations incur negative social consequences. In other words, evaluators tend to make negative judgments about women who behave in masculine ways to fulfill the needs of their jobs."

But if masculine means assertive, self-reliant and powerful, you can see how easily a woman can get screwed in the eyes of her beholders. This is often referred to as backlash and because women fear backlash they often don't act in their best interests. The researchers found that both men AND women negatively evaluate women who do not behave in stereotypically female ways.

The choices then are these--work within the stereotypes or be careful in situations to not activate gender stereotypes.

The researchers point to an experiment that looked at flirting in a negotiation context. When both women and men flirted in the negotiation, women were perceived as more likable. As the researchers noted, because flirting is seen as more stereotypically feminine behavior, the women may have benefited from using it. Furthermore, the "flirting had no impact on the measure of the female negotiator's perceived competence, although it did diminish her perceived trustworthiness."

Further, the researchers found that gender stereotypes are usually not activated in contexts where resources are abundant ("Threats tend to heighten the negative stereotypes of both individuals and other social groups."), the woman is the boss or when women act for the benefit of others. Women acting for the benefit of others, like their teams, is consistent with the stereotypes we have of women, that they are collaborative and nurturing.

Not everyone works within gender stereotypes, but as they are subconsciously pervasive, the argument is that it's important to understand that these stereotypes are often at play. And hopefully that will help us level the playing field.
Read more at www.fastcompany.com

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Falling in love takes one fifth of a second

2010-10-25T12:34:00.001-04:00

Research now proves what I've been saying for years, a women knows within five minutes of meeting you if you're going to "get lucky". The only thing that will mess it up fellas... is YOU!

Amplify’d from holykaw.alltop.com

It’s love at first fifth of a second, according to a new study. The research from a Syracuse University professor found that falling in love resembled the same euphoria experienced by those on crack. The whole process of falling in love, she discovered, takes all of one fifth of a second.

Full story at Science Daily.
Read more at holykaw.alltop.com

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Infographic: The Many, Many Shades of Modern Love

2010-10-21T23:50:00.002-04:00

If relationships were a flow chart, this is what it would look like...

Amplify’d from www.fastcodesign.com

We always thought there were only two types of intimate relationships: monogamy and bopping everyone except your husband (or wife). But no!

Turns out there are dozens and dozens of them: serial monogamy, polifidelity, soft swinging, involuntary celibacy (aka every 14-year-old boy). The list goes on, and data viz king David McCandless and Laura Sullivan lay 'em all out in a handy flowchart here.

[Click image for larger view]

Obviously, this is something of a sendup of the elaborate pageant of modern love. The pastel colors and curlicue embellishments, which could’ve been pulled from the pages of a self-help book, are nothing if not ironic. We’re particularly fond of the marriage-divorce-marriage-divorce bubbles over there on the right. It’s like reading Liz Taylor’s bio. (It just needs about 50 more bubbles.)

For more recent coverage of McCandless’s excellent work see here, here, and here.

[Images via David McCandless]
Read more at www.fastcodesign.com

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Grown Folk Talk on Men, Women and Relationships...

2010-10-21T11:32:00.000-04:00

What Do Men Really Want?

Now What? is BACK! I decided to tackle an easy topic for the comeback episode "What Do Men Really Want" (insert sarcasm here.) I’ve been dating since I was 15 and I STILL don’t know what men really want. I’ve been told it is sex, food, and for women to shut up… not necessarily in that order. Yeah, well, that's NOT gonna happen!

A women we’ve been empowered and we are comfortable in our own skin and in our role as sexually liberated career woman in charge of their own destiny. You may even hear women say, “I don’t need a man”. But, forget what you heard, we DO need a man. At least I do. Having claimed that premise, what the hell do these men really want? Usher sang “we want a lady in the street but a freak in the bed”. Is that it? Is that the key to all this? Oh, I know, you’re going to say men just want to be loved, honored and understood. Really?

To help me tackle this broad is were the Witches behind the widely popular blog, The Witches Brew. Ranging in age from their mid-30s to mid-40s this group of feisty women added an amazing energy and sass to the show. Joining them are their fellas, the Ask A Dude© guys, who shed some interesting light on what men want. Plus, we had some very interesting decision going on in the chat room.

I'm not sure we figured out What Men Really Want but we had a great conversation and you'll enjoy this show as we talk about what men (and women) want in relationships. Enjoy!

Listen to internet radio with Danielle Ricks on Blog Talk Radio

Sistas, Love Every Part of YOU!

2010-10-19T21:23:00.000-04:00

My sisterfriend posted this Facebook and I just had to share!

Sesame Street head writer Joey Mazzarino wrote this for his adopted daughter, Segi, when he noticed how - after she began playing with dolls - she started to dislike her own hair and began wanting straight, blond hair. Instead of ignoring the problem (and potential future self-esteem issue), he immediately told his daughter that HER hair was beautiful and then proceeded to reinforce that message with positive media images and messaging.

Something we as black children (and adults) get very little of, if at all. This is soooo great, enjoy!

Black Marriage Negotiations

2010-10-15T10:59:00.001-04:00