WIT Institute

Empowerment for women video

Doris Roper — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 02:58:44 +0000

Three lessons I learned after Tom, Dick and Harry woke up my life!

Are All Women Bubbleheads?

Doris Roper — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 22:21:35 +0000

Of course not…but believe it or not, many women think they are, particularly when it comes to money, investing and achieving success.

Why is that?

A lifetime of programming I believe…Those of us who are baby boomers and older are very aware of the way men and women were conditioned from birth. A boy was expected to manage finances and be the provider when he became a man.

For a girl on the other hand, it was very different. I don’t think it even entered the parent’s mind to expect her to become skilled and competent at managing money. A girl was supposed to become a good wife, mother, and homemaker – nothing more. Is it any wonder therefore that women feel dumb in the areas of finances and business?

During my “Women in Transition” workshops, we explore the obstacles that prevent women from achieving financial success. They are always the same.

Women:

Undervalue themselves
Don’t think “big” enough
Feel a sense of guilt at the thought of desiring wealth
Don’t take care of themselves but just give, give and give to others and more….

So what is the answer?

If you are struggling with any of the points above, question the truth of your beliefs. Ask yourself why you undervalue yourself or feel guilt. What has caused you to think such limiting thoughts? The majority of your subconscious beliefs developed in childhood – they are a child’s beliefs. You are an adult now. Think like an adult. Reprogram your beliefs.

Think big and prosper!

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Please share your experiences.

Surviving Transition

Doris Roper — Mon, 04 May 2009 03:16:48 +0000

Many people are dealing with transition right now. I believe the country as a whole is experiencing a major one. Not long ago, the first thought that came to mind when we heard the word "transition", was divorce. However, with the current state of the economy and high unemployment rate, career transition has taken top spot. In fact, many couples cannot afford to get divorced right now, which may or may not be a good thing…

So, what can you do to make transitional times easier to navigate? Here are some tips:

Do not think of yourself as a victim. This may be hard for some to do, but when you blame people and circumstances for your situation, you make yourself powerless. Instead, look at yourself and your life and consider the possibility that this may be a good time to change things, to move in a new direction. Don’t regret anything you have done before. See your mistakes as lessons. They can show you with great clarity what works and what doesn’t work. Learn from them, and allow them to guide you. Don’t beat yourself up for them and don’t fear them. Commit to looking and moving forward and do whatever it takes to make your life better in the future.
Beware of scams. Difficult transitions can make us very vulnerable and thus susceptible to scam artists. Now more than ever, you need to be extra vigilant. Let me give you some examples:
A very official-looking letter that seemed to come from the Property Tax Assessor’s office was sent to many homes in San Diego. It stated that your home value could be lower than the assessed value and that for a fee they would re-assess your home to potentially lower your property tax. This is a scam. You can have that done for free by the Assessor’s office.

Some of my clients received official-looking postcards and emails that included IRS codes, mentioned recent Congressional pension and retirement plan changes as well as loan modification programs. They turned out to be insurance salespeople and loan officers trying to capture leads.

A recent scam involves jury duty. The caller claims to be a jury coordinator. If you protest that you never received a summons for jury duty, the scammer asks you for your Social Security number and date of birth so he or she can verify the information and cancel the arrest warrant. Give out any of this information and bingo; your identity was just stolen.

Other scams include "work-at-home" money-making schemes, "Nigerian" letters promising millions of dollars for the use of your bank account for foreign transfers, foreign lottery winnings etc.

Never, ever give out your personal information by email or on the phone. If you get a phone call asking you for personal information, even if it sounds very creditable, refuse and insist that you will first do your own research no matter how intimidating or persuasive the caller sounds. To be on the safe side, treat them all as scams!
Finally – transitions do not last forever. Look back at other difficult periods in your life and remember how you got through them – you are here, you survived. This too shall pass. Learn all that you can learn. Read, listen, contemplate, and grow stronger!

Men Really Are People Too!

Doris Roper — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 00:39:51 +0000

I was reminded once again this week how very similar men and women are at their deepest levels. The so-called differences have more to do with what we reveal to others than what we really are and feel.

As a financial planner with a specialty in working with women in financial transition, I am very familiar with the fears, anxieties, and uncertainties that women feel. Many women believe that men are smarter with money and that with their higher earning capabilities they have a better chance at being successful in life.

This may seem to be true when you look at the fact that men earn more than women do and that they hold the majority of the higher positions in both business and government. However, this “reality” has come about after centuries of conditioning which resulted in the beliefs and mindsets we now have. After all, what we believe becomes our reality even if it is not actually true.

Those of us who are baby boomers and older are very aware of the way many men and women were conditioned from birth. A boy was expected to manage finances and be the provider when he became a man.

For a girl on the other hand, it was very different. I do not think it even entered the parent’s mind to expect her to become skilled and competent at managing money. A girl was expected to be a good wife, mother, and homemaker – nothing more. Is it any wonder therefore that women undervalue themselves in the areas of finances and business?

Now, back to the point I want to make about men…

I recently took over teaching the financial planning class at a career management company. Many candidates are executives who were laid off from large corporations. Having taught a class for women only at this same company, I was curious to see if there would be any great difference teaching a mixed class. And there wasn’t. The men were just as anxious and uncertain about the future as the women were and willing to admit it!

I was told that a year ago, the men still had an air of arrogance about them, but with the poor state of the economy, they are becoming more and more humble.

Recently I had an open and honest conversation with a male client. I am doing the financial planning for his divorce and although he is very smart, wealthy and earns a huge salary, he admitted that he was terribly scared of facing the unknown future alone. I could really identify with how this man felt as I myself had grown up more with the mindset of a boy than a girl and just like him (and I believe many men) had buried my feelings and strived to be successful to prove myself…and I had succeeded but at the cost of my relationships. This has happened to countless men…until they get a wake-up call!

These are hard times for many people with high unemployment rates and an uncertain future. It is during these painful times, whether as a result of a job loss or divorce, that people, faced with the emotions of fear and uncertainty, can take a closer and more honest look at themselves and reveal who they truly are.

To the women out there: Men are not necessarily smarter with money. Believe me, many do not have a clue. They are not all tough and fearless. They have the same fears and anxieties as you, but just feel they must hide it and appear strong.

To the men out there: Women have many limiting beliefs about their own financial skills and worth due to their conditioning. As a result, although they are intelligent they may not feel smart and confident. When facing divorce, women may sometimes seem demanding during the settlement process if they have not been earning much of an income. Their unrealistic demands usually stem from the fear and uncertainty of not making it on their own.

What is the answer? I personally would like to see couples work together more when it comes to managing their financial lives. They should share financial tasks and regularly discuss their situation and future goals and plans. Many couples have completely different ways of handling money and this causes major problems in relationships.

With all the uncertainties we currently face, give yourself a better chance. Explore and discover your money blueprint together with your partner. You may be surprised just how much more you can thrive!

Trying to keep your head while many seem to be losing theirs!

Doris Roper — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 01:23:19 +0000

Well, the economic situation has still not really improved. I believe it will take a while before it turns around and it is important to keep a positive attitude. There is way too much fear and panic taking place. Instead of focusing on the negative news and allowing it to drag you down, focus on the areas that you can control.

What are the areas that you can control? Here are a few:

Your attitude – My mother used to say “Attitude is everything” and she was right. You can choose what you want to focus on. Many years ago, I took a course called “The testing of your faith”. We learnt that when you are going through a difficult time in your life, you should see it as a test and if you learn the lessons and get through it, you will be much stronger and won’t need to go through that same test again. Even if a similar situation were to come around once more, you will handle it much better the next time.
Managing what you have – I believe, and it has always been my experience, that if you manage the little that you have well, it will grow! There seems to be a Universal law that you will lose what you have if you disrespect it or treat it poorly. Be thankful for what you do have.
Remember and recall – Think of past periods in your life when you had to deal with difficulty, fear or anxiety and remind yourself that you got through it, you survived. Allow those past good memories to lift your spirit and give you hope now.
List your talents – We all have gifts and talents. Think about yours, write them down, do some exercises that will reveal them. (I have them on my membership website). When you do these exercises, you may find some hidden traits in you that could move you in a new and more fulfilling direction in your life.
Believe in yourself – I know this is difficult, especially for women. We so often undervalue ourselves and settle for less than we deserve. We really are what we think, so do everything possible to change that belief. You cannot attract success if you believe subconsciously that you don’t deserve it!

When I was 23 and ready to start my jewelry business in South Africa, the economy was at its worst. I started my business and financed most of it with an overdraft. The interest rates at the time were 25% — yes, 25 percent! But, I was not deterred. I believed in myself. I believed I was good at designing and making jewelry. I believed I would be able to run a business well and I decided that I would manage money well. I would do and learn whatever I needed to make a success of my store…and I did!

And… if I could, you can!

Use this time to learn, learn, learn. Knowledge is power. I educate my investment clients from the start so that they know what to expect from the ups and downs of the stock market as well as the economy in general. I have never been prouder of my clients than I am now after a very difficult year in 2008. The combination of financial education and good planning has enabled them to keep their heads (and sense of humor) while many around them are losing theirs through fear and panic!

Money and success – Three steps to becoming smart about money and thriving

Doris Roper — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 07:26:37 +0000

Becoming smart with money and thriving requires more than a basic financial plan. Knowing how much you need to put away for retirement or college is all very well but to achieve your goals and dreams you need a lot more than mere time-value-of-money calculations. There are many more aspects to being successful and I will discuss three of them here.

1. Awareness

The first step is to become aware of your money blueprint. Most of us are blissfully unaware of all the underlying issues and beliefs that govern the decisions and actions we take.

Have you noticed how some people earn large salaries but are still barely able to make it? Or have you heard about lottery winners who squander all their winnings within the first few years? Why do you think this happens?

They have unconscious beliefs about money that keep them poor or struggling no matter how much money they make or receive. These beliefs usually start in early childhood. The words and actions of our parents concerning money can have a profound influence on our own beliefs about money and wealth.

Did your parents say things like “money doesn’t grow on trees”, “we can’t afford it”, “he’s stinking rich”. These are all statements of scarcity and have a negative effect on our beliefs about money.

How did your parents manage their finances – poorly or frugally? Did dad handle the finances and give mom an allowance? Did they create a lot of debt?

Delve deeper and try to discover your own unconscious programming where money is concerned.

2. Your values, purpose and vision

The next step is to discover what is important about money to you. Money means different things to different people and the amount of money you desire should line up with your values, your purpose and ultimate vision for your life.

Some people think that if they had a million dollars in the bank they would be happy, but we all know that money doesn’t buy happiness as evidenced by all the unhappy rich people in the world.

Do some soul-searching. Figure out what it is you really want, what would give you fulfillment. Ask yourself, “If money were no object, if I could do anything I want, if I had only one year to live, what would I do?” Write down whatever pops into your head no matter how silly you think it is. Don’t limit yourself by worrying about ‘how’ you can achieve it. Just let your imagination go.

3. The nitty gritty

If you realized that you have some negative beliefs about money, you should start reprogramming your mind with positive thoughts.

Hopefully, you figured out what you would really like to do and have in your life. Now you can plan accordingly. Now you can work out the numbers.

Get organized, figure out your net worth, create a spending plan, get rid of debt, establish an emergency fund that will cover 6-8 months of expenses and make sure you save for your goals.

Many people think that carrying out step three is enough. However, unless you uncover and reprogram any negative beliefs you may have about money you are likely to sabotage your own chance of success.

Step two is very important because if you do not know where you are going and what you ultimately want to achieve, you may be swayed this way and that and never reach that place of fulfillment and satisfaction.

Begin taking the necessary actions today that will help you achieve your dreams and thrive!

January 09 Smart Woman’s Success News

Doris Roper — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 18:06:42 +0000

Click on the link to read the January 2009 newsletter:

Wake up your life and thrive in 2009!

Marry the life you want to lead

Doris Roper — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 17:04:12 +0000

During my “fully single” years, I met a woman who had been happily married for 22 years at that point. She said that her mother told her something that had stuck with her. She shared it with me, and it stuck with me, too:

Marry the life you want to lead.

Often we will “fall in love” with someone who has very different interests or life plans than ours, and we think that things will change—love will find a way. That we will grow to like what they like and they will like what we like. But it doesn’t. As time passes, those differences may become amplified and affection can diminish.

Start out asking yourself, “Would I have the life I want with this person?” It is very important.

As I said, this tip stuck with me. When I met Arlen, my current and future husband, I recognized that with him I would have the kind of life I wanted. It has nothing to do with money or stuff—it is how you relate, your interests, shared values, your goals.

Keep this tip in mind and you will benefit greatly. I promise.

WAKE UP your life! Why I wrote the book

Doris Roper — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 18:55:18 +0000

I wrote WAKE UP your life! for women, particularly those dealing with transition. We go through many of those during our lifetime; break ups, career change, widowhood, retirement, moving and more. We don’t really grow or change our lives unless we are dealing with something painful or challenging.

My unique story involves three men (my primary relationships) and one woman who had a relationship with all of them. I know it sounds like something that only happens in a soap opera, but it happened to me. At the time I could not believe it – it seemed surreal, but I realized after many years of personal growth that I had needed something really unusual and dramatic to wake me up and grow.

I was a strong and independent woman and a tough cookie. Dealing with my husband cheating on me was not enough to trigger real personal growth. No, the next man in my life had to cheat on me with the same woman before I took real notice and to further my growth, my third man had to marry the woman a few years later!

The traits that helped me deal with the pain were my great sense of humor and practical, optimistic side. It is that sense of humor that caused me to call the three men Tom, Dick and Harry and add some amusing yet helpful quotes to my book.

We generally live our lives in a semi-conscious state, blissfully unaware of all the underlying issues and beliefs that govern our actions and choices. I hope that my book helps readers to become aware of some of their own limiting beliefs and unresolved issues so that they can heal and change their lives.

I welcome your comments and hope you will share some of your own insights and revelations.

Traps women fall into – Thinking that a man is a financial plan

Doris Roper — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 02:05:16 +0000

Many women, particularly those of baby boomer age and older, rely on a man to be their financial plan. This is mainly due to conditioning that started in childhood.

The typical couple used to consist of the husband who was the breadwinner and the wife who was the homemaker and mother. Women were not encouraged to involve themselves with finances and investments. Those were considered the man’s job. As a result, women did not develop the skills to competently manage money or understand investments.

The unfortunate result of this early programming is that many women feel “dumb” about money and believe that they are not smart enough to learn. They therefore avoid the subject and continue to depend on men to take care of the finances.

When women are caught up in the subconscious belief that men are the ones who take care of the money, they face a great deal of fear and anxiety when they are suddenly confronted with divorce or widowhood. Not only do they have to deal with the emotions that come with such a life-changing event, but they also have to learn to manage a very important part of life at the same time. This is extremely difficult and these women usually feel totally lost.

Escaping the trap

Women should educate themselves as much as they can about finances. It is actually not as complicated or difficult as many believe. Take some classes, hire a financial coach or join a membership site that offers financial education and support. This site’s membership site will give you the education you need. Click here to sign up.

Research has shown that more than 80% of women will be the sole financial decision maker at some stage in their lives. This is due to the high rate of divorce and the fact that women tend to outlive men, which leaves a great number of widows having to manage the money.

Now more than ever with the current financial crisis, it is vital that women become smart about money. When someone else manages our finances, we tend to be out of touch with the reality of our financial situation and this can cause us to spend more than we should and gets us deeper into debt. Taking control of our own financial management and increasing our skill increases our confidence and ability to face life’s challenges.

Ladies, start to become smart about money today and remember that a man is NOT a financial plan!