We Interrupt

Is it only sexist when men do it?

Luca Colonnese — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 21:23:52 +0000

The last few months have been an orgy of bad news for “Girl Power” advocates around the world. Firstly with the aquittal in Orlando of Casey Anthony, a woman who didn’t kill her 2 year old daughter. Then last month came the case of the women on CBS’s The Talk, where Sharon Osbourne and friends give thumbs up to Catherine Kieu for cutting off her husband’s penis and throwing it in the garbage disposal, also known as a garburator here in Canada. Kieu did this because her husband asked for a divorce.

I’m not sure what his penis had to do with the divorce request but it reminded me of the Lorena Bobbitt saga, infamous during Roseanne Barr’s glory days, for cutting off her cheating husband’s penis. In Bobbitt’s case though, doctors were able to reattach the penis, and from what I remember he even went on to become somewhat of a pornographic movie actor.

About CBS’s The Talk, the only redeeming quality from the video I saw, and that is not available anywhere at this point, probably because it was pulled by CBS’s lawyers, is that Sara Gilbert, also of Roseanne fame, pulled back the others by stating that they had to be careful because their conversation could be interpreted as sexist. In the words of Will Smith: “Duh! You think?”

So now comes the acquittal by Judge Sue Pullen of Laura O’Donnell, who had simultaneous druken sex with four teenage boys, all minors, after getting them drunk to limit their inhibitions. Am I the only one that thinks that maybe, if Charlie Sheen had drunken sex with four teenage girls, there would be people rioting, looting and protesting in front of any court that might even consider aquitting him?

Or is it only sexist when men do it?

FAIL: ‘Heroin for sale’ flyers lead to drug bust

E. Thomas Drakes — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 14:11:48 +0000

You're definitely doing it wrong.

It’s a rough economy for everyone – even drug dealers. So, perhaps seeking newer customers, the inhabitants of 3937 N Massachusetts Ave in Portland, Oregon began a flyer campaign in their neighborhood.

Printed on 8×10″ paper, the flyers boldly announced ‘HEROIN FOR SALE’ and listed a house address, as well as the names of several drug dealers living in the house. One neighbor was mailed this flyer and immediately turned it in to the police, who raided the property, finding marijuana, heroin, a sawed-off shotgun, cash, and the means for constructing a methamphetamine lab.

Six adults were arrested on various drug charges, while one teenager was placed into protective custody. [Source]

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Post tags: drug bust, fail, heroin, heroin for sale, marijuana, methamphetamine, oregon, portland

Man gets medieval on his stepdaughter’s ass

E. Thomas Drakes — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 12:10:26 +0000

And the award for Stepfather Of The Year goes to... nope, it's still Woody Allen.

A couple in Washington have been arrested after the man forced his 16-year-old stepdaughter to wear armor and wield a wooden sword to fight him in medieval combat for over two hours.

Reportedly, the couple was punishing the girl for attending a party without their permission. The rampage started with the man, Fremon Seay, punching the girl and beating her with a stick before turning to ritual combat. Two hours later, the girl collapsed from exhaustion. Although the parents insist that it is their right to punish her as they see fit, police did not agree and arrested the parents – the mother as well, who witnessed the entire scene without reporting it to police – for child abuse.

The mother, Julie Seay, is definitely the weirdest component in this story, not only since she did nothing to stop the severe beating of her daughter, but also because she works at the ‘Loving and Learning’ daycare center in Yelm, Washington. They had no comment on the matter. [Source; Image]

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Post tags: child abuse, fremon seay, julie seay, medieval, renaissance, stepfather, washington, yelm

FAIL: Man poses as federal agent to dodge debt

E. Thomas Drakes — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 04:09:07 +0000

Apparently, it's not that hard.

A man in St. Louis, Missouri faces six to twelve months in prison and owes a heap of money to his ex-girlfriend after claiming to be a federal agent to dodge repayment on the loan.

Mark Chartrand borrowed more than $100,000 from his then-girlfriend. In 2008, she asked for repayment, as she was in dire financial straits; to get out of it, Chartrand claimed to be an agent of the Department of Homeland Security on a clandestine overseas mission for which he’d be paid $1 million in 2010.

The claim was obviously a bold-faced lie, and after a little poking around, she reported him to the police. He pleaded guilty of impersonating a federal officer in court and will be sentenced in January. [Source; Image]

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Post tags: BRB FBI, fail, fraud, homeland security, mark chartrand

Drunk man uses nine-year-old as designated driver

E. Thomas Drakes — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 04:07:52 +0000

The dynamic duo.

These stories seem to pop up more often than you’d think, or hope: A man in Chicago, obviously drunk, entered a gas station with his nine-year-old daughter, who can be seen chewing on a candy apple in the surveillance video. He then proceeded to brag about how good his daughter was at driving before taking off with her. Inevitably, somebody called the police, who pulled over the van. As they’d feared, the girl was behind the wheel.

She even argued with police, saying that she did everything right – even using her turn signals to switch lanes. Obviously, she was much too young to drive, and when the father refused a breathalyzer test, the girl blew his cover by admitting that he’d been drinking whiskey all night. Lt. Robert Grant had this to say:

“And, in fact, as heinous as this is, the little girl looks at the police officer and says, ‘What did you stop me for? I was driving good.’ Incredible.”

The man, Shawn Weimer, faces charges of felony child abuse. [Source; Image]

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Post tags: chicago, child abuse, designated driver, DUI, shawn weimer

Scrabble player wants opponent strip-searched

NJ Sullivan — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 23:52:22 +0000

Nigel Richards of New Zealand won the competition

It’s nail-biting tension in the world of competitive scrabble playing. High stake prizes and strip searches of opponents. Who knew building words could be like this?

This year’s World Scrabble Championship is the stage for the latest in board game drama. Tempers were boiling when the coveted “g” went missing during a match. England’s competitor, Ed Martin, was going head to head with Thai player, Chollapat Itthi-Aree. All eyes turned to Martin when he was accused of stealing the “g.”

Itthi-Aree asked official to strip search the Brit, in the privacy of the bathroom. There’s a $20,000 prize at stake and in Thai Bhat that’s an awful lot of coinage. But his request was denied and Martin went on to win the game.

The illusive “g” wasn’t mentioned again.

It didn’t matter in the long run. Martin didn’t get the kitty; New Zealand’s Nigel Richards did becoming the first person to win the coveted Scrabble title twice. His acceptance speech was, “Nice.”

Notice how he didn’t use a “g” … the mystery continues. [Source]

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Post tags: amusing, board games, strip search, World Scrabble Competition, wtf

Man feared eaten by cannibals while yachting around the world

NJ Sullivan — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 23:50:11 +0000

It’s the stuff horror movies are made of.

A German economist, traveling around the world in a yacht, maybe the victim of cannibals on the remote French Polynesian island of Nuku Hiva in the Marquesas. When I say victim I unfortunately mean feast.

Stefan Ramin, 40, was taking the “trip of a lifetime” with his girlfriend Heike Dorsch who is also an economist. Stopping at Nuku Hiva the two planned to spend several months on the island before continuing on their adventure which would end in New Zealand.

According to his girlfriend, Ramin went on a goat-hunting expedition with a local guide named Henri Haiti. When the guide returned sans Ramin. Haiti told the girlfriend, “There’s been an accident. He needs help.”

Of course Dorsch believed the man and went with him. That’s when he chained her to a tree and sexually assaulted her for hours, until she was able to escape and make it to authorities.

It took a week for 22 police officers to uncover what could possibly be left of Ramin. Ashes in embers, bones, jawbone, teeth and melted metal, thought to be from fillings in teeth. Sources say the remains seem to be that of a human body chopped into pieces and burned.

The findings are being tested in Paris to confirm if DNA matches that of Ramin. These could be the last pieces of the man.

One person might be doubting the whole things. Apparently, after the update was posted on Facebook one of his friends responded, “It is unbelievable, unspeakably horrible but may not all be true.”

Hopefully it’s not true. And hopefully he didn’t abandon his girlfriend, leaving her to the scarring experience that she had.

Believe me, French civilisation has taught these islanders to eat cheeseburgers and canned food, not people, and their wild pigs are far tastier.

For the record, locals on Nuku Hiva refute the claims, with one journalist paraphrasing:

[Source]

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Post tags: assault and homicide, cannibalism, French Polynesia, germany, round the world trip, worst thing ever, wtf

Delicious ammonia burgers coming our way?

Luca Colonnese — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 18:24:30 +0000

No, they’re already here, at least if for you here means the United States, for mercifully this process is not yet accepted in Canada. Apparently, for the last decade or so, there’s been an American company, that has developed a process by which “remnants” of meat, that stuff nobody wants to eat, appetizing things like “fatty sweepings from the slaughterhouse floor” could be salvaged for human consumption by simply adding ammonia to the pink goo that results from the mechanical grinding of said remnants into a paste, and removal of extra fat. This of course makes us wonder what they do with the fat exactly? Cosmetics?

Ammonia of course will kill the pathogens like E-Coli, that thrive on lesser meat and makes it inedible. You’d think then, surely they make dog food with this Pink Slime, and you’d be wrong. The company, called Beef Products then sells the Pink Slime to major players in the hamburger world like McDonalds, Burger King and school cafeterias all over the United States. Pink Slime has the serious advantage of being “extremely cheap” and can be used to cut normal beef meat and render it more affordable for hamburger lovers.

I know, you’ll say this is old news then ah? And you might be right, but here’s what I say, when this alarming process was unearthed, in late 2009 early 2010, why in God’s name did nobody do anything about it? Since then, nothing’s been done, Beef Products keep selling their Pink Slime to whoever wants to cut their burger meat with it, and they have photos of healthy looking children running happily through what appears to be a backyard barbecue. What’s next? Soylent Green biscuits?

Another apocalypse scheduled for Thursday, yes, this Thursday

Luca Colonnese — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 02:52:56 +0000

Some of You might recall Harold Camping, ~~the cuckoo~~ the Biblical Genius who spent most of his life studying the Bible, and who predicted that there would be a Rapture back on May 21st. Harold of course was wrong about it since we’re all still here. Not contempt with his initial failure he now predicts the Apocalypse for Thursday, this Thursday, October 21st. In fact, the website Apocalypse 2011.com claims that Harold, never predicted the apocalypse for May 2011, but only the Rapture, which is the beginning of the apocalypse, the actual apocalypse was always predicted for October 21st.

Enjoy your apocalypse and remember not to drink too much then go out driving, you might have to pee on the way and the toilets in truck stops and rest areas are just dreadful.

Surfer claims he rode a great white shark

NJ Sullivan — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 04:41:27 +0000

It sounds like a story granddad tells you but instead of walking miles and miles to get to school it’s using the back of a great white shark as a surfboard.

But it’s the story of American Doug Niblack and he’s sticking to it.

Niblack says he was surfing off the coast of Oregon when he felt his surfboard collide with something. Stepping off he didn’t know what he was standing on until he looked down.

First thing he saw was a dorsal fin. Next thing, the body of the 10ft long great white shark he was riding on.

As the story goes the shark thrashed his tail until Niblack fell off a few seconds later.

Alas, there is no video or witnesses to help us wrap our head around the possibility this story is indeed true and not just a figment of someone’s imagination.

But why would someone make this up? Sometimes the unbelievable is the most truthful. Like the time I took a breath underwater. I know I did but my father will never believe me. [Source | Image]

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Post tags: #US, animals, dangerous, sharks, they did what?, unbelievable, wtf