Whole Family JOY; MAGFAM Magnetic Families Magnificent Families

this constitutes a huge even epic social engineering/experimentation because of the rapidity of change in family dynamics

2009-06-19T10:56:00.001-07:00

Surging Internet Use Cutting Into Family Time

By Amanda Gardner
HealthDay ReporterThu Jun 18, 11:49 pm ET

THURSDAY, June 18 (HealthDay News) -- American kids and their parents are now spending more hours huddled alone around computer screens and cell phone displays, seriously eroding the amount of time families spend together.

That's according to a new report that found the time per week that families interact as group has fallen by nearly a third between 2005 and 2008. ( this Incredibly dramatic Change In a very short period of time. Functions as a wide scale societal intervention.)

"Family face-to-face time has decreased in a substantial way. There's been a fairly abrupt drop in family time, a process which is usually glacial," said Michael Gilbert, a senior fellow at the Center for the Digital Future at the University of Southern California's Annenberg School for Communication. "Families are the social building blocks of virtually every society, and this can't be a good thing."

In a new survey from the center, researchers found that in 2008, 28 percent of people said that being wired has resulted in them spending less time with family members, a threefold increase from the 11 percent reported just two years ago, in 2006.

"We wanted to put a little alert out about this," Gilbert said. "Technology isn't all good."

This is certainly not the first time researchers have sounded an alarm about Internet use and even "Internet addiction." Other studies have suggested that online usage has significantly disrupted the lives of millions of Americans.

"In the last two decades, there has been an erosion in family dinners together that take place without gadgets," Gilbert said. "There's reduced cohesion, reduced communication."

And the Internet is vastly different from television, which drew (and still draws) people together -- watching, say, Johnny Carson, the 1969 moon landing, or American Idol.

In contrast, "the Internet is one-to-one and so demanding. The key distinction of the Internet is interactivity," Gilbert said. "You have to sit and respond."

The annual survey, part of the Center's Digital Future Project, involved contacts with 2,000 American households. In 2005, the survey found that the amount of time family members spent together averaged about 26 hours a month.

That shared time had dropped precipitously to just under 18 hours per month by 2008, slashing overall time spent together by 30 percent. (then there is the multitasking time that is spent, where the family is present, but engaging any electronic activity like texting. This probably erodes meaningful social times as well )

Women seem to be bearing the brunt of this Web-linked isolation, with more than 49 percent reporting feeling "sometimes" or "often" ignored by other family members, compared with only about 39 percent of men reporting the same.

Meanwhile, in 2000, 11 percent of people surveyed said younger people (under 18) were spending "too much time" online, vs. 28 percent in 2008.

This trend toward decreased family time dovetails with the emergence and rapid growth of online social communities, the researchers noted.

"Social networks such as Twitter and Facebook exploded in 2007. At that time, more than half of people online said this online community was as important as their offline community," Gilbert said. "Many technology issues are pulling on the family which, in the modern world, has enough pressures."

Where might all this lead?

"Certainly a lack of collective experience and face-to-face time will lead to a breakdown in communication, decreased opportunities to experience the world together, increased alienation of children," Gilbert said. "Family breakdown leads to destructive behavior."

In response, some families are beginning to budget time for Internet use, setting curfews or proclaiming no Internet on weekends.

"There are ways we can put little fences around our involvement with the Internet," Gilbert said. "We need to remember how valuable it is to spend time together and experience the world together. Nothing can substitute for face-to-face time."

For all the potential damage involved in Internet usage, there are also numerous benefits, said Dr. Harold Koplewicz, director of the Child Study Center at New York University Langone Medical Center.

"Kids have the opportunity to learn, play, socialize and participate in social life. It's communication besides pleasure," he said. "It may look as though they're wasting time, but spending time online is essential. Kids can participate in culture and connect with others with similar interests."

But, Koplewicz added, "Parents need to counter the trend towards decreased family time. While there are benefits to Internet usage, it doesn't mean you can let the machine take over."

Parents need to consciously plan family time, which can include playing computer games together, doing online projects together, having regular family meal times and participating in regular outings. They also need to monitor their children's use of the Internet, including having access to a history of sites visited, he said.

"The more involved parents are in their teen's life, the more valued teens feel. It's a myth that teens do not want their parents in their life," Koplewicz said.

More information

Find out more at the Center for the Digital Future.

On postpartum depression take away message its common almost 10% in the first 9 months, it last longer than the first few weeks after delivery, it affects mom child bonding, and has vicious cycle effects on mom's feeling of adequacy as a parent. What may be underestimated is low levels of depression not quite reaching clinical depression and anxiety overlay , which think is substantially more common.

2009-06-19T10:48:00.001-07:00

Scientific American Mind - March 20, 2008

Postpartum Depression Epidemic Affects More than Just Mom

A deep despair mars the first year of motherhood for as many as one in five women. Without treatment, postpartum depression can weaken critical bonds between a mother and her child

By Katja Gaschler

The psychologist smiles at Manuela, a new mother in her late thirties. “Please play with your baby for two minutes,” the therapist instructs her and then leaves the room. Two video cameras film Manuela (which is not her real name) and her three-month-old daughter. In the next room, a split-screen monitor shows the mother’s profile on the left and her infant in a baby chair on the right.

At first, Manuela appears to be at a loss for what to do. Then, her face noticeably stiff, she begins to talk softly to her baby. Her baby fidgets, briefly makes eye contact and then turns away. Manuela eventually stops talking and stares into the distance, unsure again how to act. She absentmindedly strokes her baby’s foot with one hand. The psychologist knocks on the door; the videotaping is over. The new mother is now on the verge of tears.

Manuela is undergoing therapy at the Clinic for General Psychiatry in Heidelberg, Germany, for postpartum depression, an ailment that has strained her relationship with her baby. Although the vast majority of mothers experience periods of crying and irritability along with concen tration lapses and exhaustion, these so-called baby blues disappear within a few hours or days of delivery. But 10 to 20 percent of women in the U.S. develop, in the first year after childbirth, the more disabling despair that afflicts Manuela. These mothers succumb to a deep sadness that, if untreated, may persist for months to years.

Manuela frequently feels exhausted and emotionally empty. When her baby cries, she sometimes wants to flee or hide. She is wracked with guilt because she cannot show love to her daughter. Mothers with symptoms of postpartum depression [see box on page 70] are often overwhelmed by the feeling that they might harm their babies. Although they rarely cause any outright harm, depressed mothers may have difficulty caring for their infants—and that fact can heighten their distress.

These emotional problems plague women worldwide. A 2006 review of 143 studies in 40 countries documents that postpartum depression is especially common in Brazil, Guyana, Costa Rica, Italy, Chile, South Africa, Taiwan and Korea, with prevalence rates as high as 60 percent in some countries.

The causes of the disorder are not fully known, but the dramatic hormonal fluctuations that occur after delivery may contribute to it in sus ceptible women. A bout of previous depression is a huge risk factor for the postpartum variety, new research shows. Whatever its cause, depression can weaken the nascent bond between a mother and her child, studies suggest, and thereby make a toddler more passive, insecure and socially inhibited—although a child’s intellectual development usually remains unimpaired.

Thus, in addition to treating the mother’s depression, psychologists and psychiatrists increasingly focus on strengthening the relationship between the mother and her child—for example, by using a video camera to record and analyze their interactions. “We need to change the unfavorable behavioral patterns that develop between mother and child during depression,” says University of Heidelberg psychologist Corinna Reck.

Hormonal Havoc
Women seem to be particularly vulnerable to depression during their reproductive years: rates of the disorder are highest in females between the ages of 25 and 45. New data indicate that the incidence of depression in females rises, albeit modestly, after giving birth. In the October 2007 American Journal of Psychiatry, epidemiologist Patricia Dietz of the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and her colleagues reported that 10.4 percent of 4,398 mothers had been depressed in the nine months following childbirth, compared with 8.7 percent in the nine months before pregnancy and 6.9 percent during pregnancy. More than half of the women with postpartum depression had also been depressed during or before pregnancy, suggesting that a previous occurrence of depression may be the biggest risk factor for acquiring the illness postpartum.

But the hormonal changes that occur in a new mother’s body are also thought to contribute to postpartum depression in some cases. During pregnancy, a woman experiences a surge in blood levels of estrogen and progesterone. Then, in the first 48 hours after childbirth, the amount of these two hormones plummets almost 50-fold back to normal levels. This chemical seesaw could contribute to depression just as smaller hormonal changes before a woman’s menstrual period may affect her moods.

Of course, hormonal flux does not fully explain postpartum depression. After all, this biochemical oscillation occurs in all new mothers, and yet only a small proportion of them become depressed. In addition, studies have shown that pregnancy hormone levels in a woman do not predict her risk of depression.

Nevertheless, the rapid rise and fall of female sex hormones may buffet the emotions of a subset of women who are predisposed to depression and thus may be acutely sensitive to the hormones’ effects. In 2000 endocrinologist David R. Rubinow, then at the National Institute of Mental Health, and his colleagues reported that simulating the hormonal ebb and flow that occurs during pregnancy and childbirth in 16 women precipitated depressive symptoms in five of the eight women with a history of postpartum depression but not in subjects who had no such history.

The demands of motherhood very likely play a role as well. Many women feel exhausted from a baby’s broken sleep and become overwhelmed by new child care duties. Some may lament the loss of the life they led before having the baby or of their former figure. Women who must endure such stresses on top of marital problems, a complicated birth, job loss or lack of support from family and friends are more likely to succumb to depression.

Broken Bonds
The consequences of depression inevitably reach beyond the mother. In a fog of sadness, a mother often lacks the emotional energy to relate appropriately to her baby. Overwhelming grief prevents her from properly perceiving a child’s smiles, cries, gestures and other attempts to communicate with her. Getting no response from mom, the child quits trying to relate to her. Thus, three-month-old infants of depressed mothers look at their mothers less often and show fewer signs of positive emotion than do babies of mentally healthy moms.

In fact, infants of depressed mothers display something akin to learned helplessness, a phenomenon University of Pennsylvania psychologist Martin E. P. Seligman and his colleagues described in the 1960s. In Seligman’s experiments, an animal would conclude that a situation was hopeless after repeatedly failing to overcome it—and then remain passive even when it could effect change. A similar passivity characterizes depression. “Sometimes the infants mirror their mother’s depressive behavior,” Reck says.

Such reciprocal withdrawal can start to fray the critical emotional bond between mother and child, especially if the depression occurs early in the baby’s life. Other work has shown that infants develop essential social skills in months two through six, building relationships with their mothers as well as other people. In a 2006 study of 101 new mothers, psychiatrist Eva Moeh ler, Reck and their Heidelberg colleagues found that maternal depression strongly diminished the quality of a mother’s bond with her child at two weeks, six weeks and four months postpartum—but not at 14 months. Thus, depression during the first few months after birth may be particularly perilous for a child’s social development.

A child of a depressed mother may even become more introverted and face a greater risk for social phobia, an extreme fear of social situations, among other emotional difficulties. In 2007 Reck, Moehler and their colleagues reported that in the same 101 mother-infant pairs, postpartum depression at six weeks, four months and 14 months after birth tended to make a 14-month-old toddler more fearful and inhibited as compared with same-age toddlers of healthy moms. Other work suggests that postpartum depression may produce behavioral problems and negativity in children.

Postpartum gloom usually does not have a long-lasting impact on children’s cognitive development, however. In a 2001 study psychologists Sophie Kurstjens and Dieter Wolke of the University of Munich tested the intellectual skills of 1,329 children (92 of them born to mothers who had depression) at various ages from 20 months to eight years. The researchers generally found no cognitive deficits among the children of depressed mothers as compared with those of healthy mothers. They did find cognitive problems, however, in boys of low socioeconomic status who had chronically depressed mothers as compared with children whose mothers had less severe depression.

Nursing Mom
Despite the devastating fallout from postpartum depression, many mothers shy away from getting help—in some cases, out of shame for emotions they cannot justify. Manuela, for example, was initially afraid to talk about her feelings and fears. She felt no one would understand why she was sad after the birth of a healthy, beautiful baby. Eventually, however, at her breaking point, she sought treatment at the Heidelberg clinic.

Many new mothers require medication to take the sting out of their sadness. A doctor may prescribe an antidepressant such as Prozac and, in some cases, may recommend taking a hormone such as estrogen as well. In addition, a small 2007 study by Yale University psychiatrists Ariadna Forray and Robert B. Ostroff suggests that electroconvulsive therapy can ameliorate postpartum depression and its more severe cousin, postpartum psycho sis, in women who do not respond to drug therapy.

Psychotherapy for the mother’s depression may also be beneficial. One proven approach is cognitive-behavior therapy, in which a therapist tries to correct distorted and negative ways of thinking either by discussing them openly or by asking the patient to practice more adaptive behaviors.

But treating the mother in isolation is often not enough to prevent her illness from affecting her child. In a study published last year psychologist David Forman of Concordia University in Quebec and his colleagues compared 60 mothers who received psychotherapy for depression with a group of 60 untreated depressed mothers and 56 healthy mothers. Six months of therapy did lower parenting stress in depressed women as compared with untreated depressed women, but the treated women still viewed their infants more negatively than did mothers who had not been depressed. Perhaps as a result, after 18 months of therapy the affected mothers reported more behavior problems, a lower level of attachment security and a more negative temperament in their children as compared with moms who had not been depressed.

Now these and many other researchers believe that therapy for postpartum depression should also involve the child. Psychologist George Downing of Pitié-Salpêtrière Hospital in Paris developed video intervention therapy, for example, to improve mother-infant interaction. The technique helps mothers to correctly perceive their infants’ behavior by recording and analyzing it—and to feel better about their own actions as mothers. “The goal of therapy is to reactivate the intuitive maternal behavioral repertoire that was covered over by the depression,” explains Heidelberg clinic psychiatrist Thomas Fuchs.

Baby Talk
Tabea, a mother in her early thirties whose depression was severe enough to warrant hospitalization for several weeks after she gave birth, is still having difficulty interacting with her four-month-old son. At the Heidelberg clinic, a psychologist asks Tabea (which is not her real name) to sit in front of a video camera with her baby. Tabea speaks loudly to him. She raises her eyebrows and laughs. Her infant makes eye contact, and a smile flits across his face. His mother feels reinforced. But then the infant turns his head away. And Tabea says, “Well, what’s the matter now? Sulking again, are we? Did mommy leave you by yourself too long?” Tabea feels guilty for having had to leave her baby to be treated for depression.

But it is normal for infants to turn away after a social interaction. That is how they regulate stimuli. It is not, as Tabea sees it, a personal affront or a sign that she is a bad mother. Nevertheless, Tabea’s misinterpretation of her baby’s actions can prompt a vicious cycle in which the child’s apparent rejection hurts Tabea, making her feel insecure and sad, which in turn has a negative effect on the baby.

The therapist’s job is to break that cycle, large ly by correcting a mother’s misimpressions and emphasizing what she has done well. Tabea’s wide-open eyes, for example, signaled that she was paying attention to her child. The psychologist points out that Tabea’s expressive face and melodious speech are similarly appropriate and helpful. Then she encourages Tabea to wait for her child to take the initiative, which will be her signal to respond.

Some hospitals have mother-infant treatment centers for postpartum depression so that the mother can remain with her infant during treatment. There hospital personnel help the mother feed, diaper and bathe her child while also providing behavior therapy. Fathers can play an important part, too. Assuming he is not depressed, a father can significantly ameliorate the effects of a mother’s depression by building a close relationship with his son or daughter.

Meanwhile a mother can take steps to ease her emotional burden by asking for help from family and friends, sleeping more, spending time with her spouse, getting out of the house and putting less pressure on herself. In the end, most mothers who receive adequate treatment—often a combination of psychotherapy, medication and self-help—usually recover completely within about two months of starting treatment, according to psychiatrist Ricardo J. Fernandez of Prince ton Family Care Associates in New Jersey. Some mothers even emerge from their cloud of sadness with a new sense of clarity. As one mother said of her depression, “It gave me the impetus to change my life.”

re fda warning re stims, more controversy, the hard and sad thing about this kind of study is that many young children who would benefit will likely be pulled off meds, and who can count increase in accidents from untreated impulsivity, etc

2009-06-15T11:00:00.001-07:00

re fda warning re stims, more controversy, the hard and sad thing about this kind of study is that many young children who would benefit will likely be pulled off meds, and who can count increase in accidents from untreated impulsivity, etc

http://www.fda.gov/Safety/MedWatch/SafetyInformation/SafetyAlertsforHumanMedicalProducts/ucm166667.htm

Stimulant Medications used in Children with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder - Communication about an Ongoing Safety Review

Products involved include: Focalin, Focalin XR (dexmethylphenidate HCl ); Dexedrine, Dexedrine Spansules, Dextroamphetamine ER, Dextrostat (dextroamphetamine sulfate); Vyvanse (lisdexamfetamine dimesylate); Desoxyn (methamphetamine); Concerta, Daytrana, Metadate CD, Metadate ER, Methylin, Methylin ER, Ritalin, Ritalin-LA, Ritalin-SR (methylphenidate); Adderall, Adderall XR (mixed salts amphetamine); Cylert (pemoline) and generics.

Audience: Pediatricians, Neuropsychiatric healthcare professionals

[Posted 06/15/2009] FDA notified healthcare professionals that it is providing its perspective on study data published in the American Journal of Psychiatry on the potential risks of stimulant medications used to treat Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) in children. This study, funded by the FDA and the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), compared the use of stimulant medications in 564 healthy children from across the United States who died suddenly to the use of stimulant medications in 564 children who died as passengers in a motor vehicle accident.The study authors concluded that there may be an association between the use of stimulant medications and sudden death in healthy children. Given the limitations of this study’s methodology, the FDA is unable to conclude that these data affect the overall risk and benefit profile of stimulant medications used to treat ADHD in children. FDA believes that this study should not serve as a basis for parents to stop a child’s stimulant medication. Parents should discuss concerns about the use of these medicines with the prescribing healthcare professional. Any child who develops cardiovascular symptoms (such as chest pain, shortness of breath or fainting) during stimulant medication treatment should immediately be seen by a doctor.

FDA is continuing its review of the strengths and limitations of this and other epidemiological studies that evaluate the risks of stimulant medications used to treat ADHD in children. FDA and the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality are sponsoring a large epidemiological study that will provide further information about the potential risks associated with stimulant medication use in children. The data collection for this study will be complete later in 2009.

A great article on a reporter’s journey into insidious sleep disorder. This is the tip of the iceberg.

2009-06-14T13:16:00.001-07:00

When Sleep Leaves You Tired

By MELINDA BECK

Ask readers of this newspaper if they're getting adequate sleep, and many would probably say "Ha!"

Twenty percent of Americans sleep less than six hours a night, and nearly one-third have lost sleep worrying about financial concerns, according to the National Sleep Foundation, which recommends that adults get seven to nine hours. "Our society thinks sleep is for slackers," says Darrel Drobnich, the organization's chief program officer.

But all that lost sleep is taking an insidious toll. Chronic, inadequate sleep raises the risk of cardiovascular disease, depression, diabetes and obesity. It impairs cognitive function, memory and the immune system and causes more than 100,000 motor-vehicle accidents a year. Sleep deprivation also changes the body's metabolism, making people eat more and feel less satisfied.

Studies presented at the American Association of Sleep Medicine's annual meeting in Seattle this week also found that inadequate sleep is associated with lower GPAs among college students and with elevated levels of visfatin, a hormone secreted by belly fat that is associated with insulin resistance.

What many people don't realize is that even if they log respectable time in bed (known as TIB among sleep researchers), they may be getting poor-quality sleep, with not enough of the restorative phases. REM, the Rapid Eye Movement phase in which dreaming occurs, is crucial for consolidating memories, learning, creativity, problem-solving and emotional balance. Deep, or slow-wave sleep, when the body secretes human growth hormone, is critical for development and physical repair. Both REM and deep sleep decline with age and are highly vulnerable to disruptions, from caffeine and alcohol to anxiety and a variety of sleep disorders.

One tip-off that you haven't gotten enough restorative sleep is trouble waking up and excessive daytime sleepiness (a condition known as EDS). "People say, 'Oh, I don't have a sleep problem. I can fall asleep anywhere, anytime' -- but that means you are excessively sleepy," says Charles Czeisler, a professor of sleep medicine at Harvard Medical School.

Other symptoms of sleep deprivation include mood changes, difficulty focusing or remembering and a chronic need for caffeine, which can then create a vicious circle of dependence and disruption. That would be me.

Finding out what's going on in your sleep generally requires spending the night in a professional sleep lab hooked up to lots of wires and monitors. But I've been testing a new home-sleep monitor called the Zeo Personal Sleep Coach that lets people track their sleep patterns nightly in their own bedrooms.

You sleep wearing a soft headband with sensors that monitor your brain waves and send signals wirelessly to a device that looks like a sleek clock radio. It displays whether you are awake or in light sleep, deep sleep, or REM sleep, in real time, all through the night.

"If you can measure it, you can manage it," says Stephan Fabregas, one of two recent Brown University graduates who invented the Zeo because they were looking for a way to wake up feeling less groggy after late nights.

Of course, not everyone needs a fancy gadget to tell them whether they are sleeping properly. But I was stunned by my results: The Zeo showed that I woke up numerous times and was awake for long stretches of the night, without having any recollection. (Perception of time is often distorted at night -- many people with insomnia actually sleep more than they think they do.) Even though I was in bed for six or seven hours each night, I was averaging only about four hours of real sleep and very little REM or deep sleep. No wonder I feel so tired!

The Zeo stores the information on a memory card you can upload to a Web site, which helps track your sleep patterns and sends daily coaching tips for getting better sleep. The $399 device comes with six months of daily email coaching, which can be extended at a cost of $99 for each additional six months. (Currently, it's available only online at www.myzeo.com.)

To help you keep track of your sleep, the Zeo also gives you a "ZQ" score every morning, based on the quantity and quality of your sleep the night before. There's no ideal ZQ -- you're comparing your own score from night to night. But the average for people in their 20s is 86; for those in their 40s, it is 74; and for those in their 50s, it is 67, since sleep quality declines with age.

My ZQs bounced from the 40s to a dismal 15 the first week. Switching to decaf after 3 p.m. and making an effort to get to bed earlier helped me bring my score into the 50s the second week. ("Having caffeine even first thing in the morning can induce changes in brain activity during sleep," says Kenneth Wright, director of the Sleep and Chronobiology Lab at the University of Colorado at Boulder and one of Zeo's scientific advisers.) I also noticed that the nights when I had the longest stretches of wakefulness were those when my column was due -- probably a sign that I was still thinking about it long after turning in.

Everybody's sleep and sleep disruptors are different. Todd Johnson, a 40-year-old border-patrol agent in Caribou, Maine, and one of ZEO's early testers, found that reading before he went to bed helped reduce his wake time and bring his ZQ from the 20s into the 60s. "You can try something that night and see the results in the morning," he says. Another early tester, Tim Guirl, who teaches at a community college in Seattle, found that he had more restorative sleep if he didn't exercise too close to bedtime and eliminated a large late-night snack.

Other recommendations from Zeo include reducing noise, light and disruptive influences like pets in the bedroom; having a "power-down" hour before bedtime with no email, no Internet use, no cellphones and no BlackBerrys; and keeping a consistent sleep schedule. And if you find yourself awake and worrying, Zeo recommends getting out of bed and writing down what you're thinking about in a "worry journal."

Zeo says its brain-wave results are similar to those from professional sleep labs -- but only about 140 people have tested it so far. And the Zeo isn't designed to diagnose actual sleep disorders, which plague an estimated 70 million Americans -- you need to see a doctor for that.

To see if something besides drinking coffee and thinking great thoughts was affecting my sleep, I underwent a sleep study at the Sleep Health Center connected with Brigham and Women's Hospital in Brighton, Mass. A polysomnography, as such tests are called, measures brain waves like the Zeo, but also heart rate, respiratory rate, oxygen saturation, body positions and movements. It took about 45 minutes to have all of the sensors and wires attached -- and then a little longer to get comfortable enough to sleep.

To my surprise, the study found that I had a fairly severe case of Periodic Limb Movements, episodes of involuntary muscle movements in the night. About 10% of adults have PLMs. Many don't even notice; sleep partners are often bothered more than the sleepers themselves. But PLMs can be very disruptive if they are accompanied by arousals from sleep. I was averaging 42 arousals per hour. According to David White, another Harvard sleep physician who prescribed the study for me, PLMs can be due to an iron deficiency or medication side effects, and they are often related to "restless-leg syndrome," which causes an irresistible urge to move the legs, day or night. Medications like Requip can minimize the movements; I'm going to give them a try.

The study also showed I had some obstructive sleep apnea, in which the airway narrows, especially when the muscles relax in sleep. People with OSA stop breathing momentarily until a lack of oxygen alerts the brain, which wakes them up with a gasp. These mini arousals can occur as often as 70 times an hour, leaving the sufferer exhausted and at risk for heart disease, stroke and atherosclerosis. An estimated 4% of men and 2% of women have OSA. One telltale sign is having a shirt-collar size larger than 17 inches. Another sign is loud snoring, although I certainly don't do that. ("Women never snore -- they all deny it," says Dr. White.)

The most effective treatment is a Continuous Positive Airway Pressure machine, which blows air through the nose to keep the airway open. My OSA isn't that bad -- yet. Other remedies include a dental appliance that helps prop the airway open and losing weight, which helps reduce the airway blockage.

Dr. White is also chief medical officer for Philips Home Healthcare, which makes a watch-like monitor, called an Actiwatch, that tracks whether the wearer is moving or still, roughly corresponding with sleep. The Actiwatch doesn't show sleep phases; it generally diagnoses problems with jet lag and body clocks. I wore one for a week, and although I'm still a night owl, it showed nothing amiss in that area.

All in all, "there are plenty of ways you can improve your sleep," Jason Donahue, another Zeo founder, tells me cheerily. This week, I'm starting in on Zeo's tips on keeping disturbances in the bedroom to a minimum. The dog may have to find a new place to sleep.

Email HealthJournal@wsj.com

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124451280076496767.html?mg=com-wsj#project%3DSLEEPQUIZ0906%26articleTabs%3Darticle

Screening tools for sleep disorder; the Epworth Sleepiness Scale

2009-06-14T13:09:00.001-07:00

A good interactive using the most widely utilized clinical sleep scale. This is well validated and good screening tool

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124451280076496767.html?mg=com-wsj#project%3DSLEEPQUIZ0906%26articleTabs%3Dinteractive

reprint from New York Times essay; I disagree with this notion that happiness is best left unpursued, but appreciate the poetry of it. I think happiness must be pursued, but something more akin to joy than happiness. They are penumbras of each other, and the semantics get complicated…The recession is moving people strongly toward the core elements of life, and it seems to me to be a worthwhile swing, closer to the heart of God and of real life?

2009-06-11T07:52:00.001-07:00

June 7, 2009, 10:35 PM

The Joy of Less

http://happydays.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/06/07/the-joy-of-less/

By PICO IYER

“The beat of my heart has grown deeper, more active, and yet more peaceful, and it is as if I were all the time storing up inner riches…My [life] is one long sequence of inner miracles.” The young Dutchwoman Etty Hillesum wrote that in a Nazi transit camp in 1943, on her way to her death at Auschwitz two months later. Towards the end of his life, Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “All I have seen teaches me to trust the creator for all I have not seen,” though by then he had already lost his father when he was 7, his first wife when she was 20 and his first son, aged 5. In Japan, the late 18th-century poet Issa is celebrated for his delighted, almost child-like celebrations of the natural world. Issa saw four children die in infancy, his wife die in childbirth, and his own body partially paralyzed.

In the corporate world, I always knew there was some higher position I could attain, which meant that, like Zeno’s arrow, I was guaranteed never to arrive and always to remain dissatisfied.

I’m not sure I knew the details of all these lives when I was 29, but I did begin to guess that happiness lies less in our circumstances than in what we make of them, in every sense. “There is nothing either good or bad,” I had heard in high school, from Hamlet, “but thinking makes it so.” I had been lucky enough at that point to stumble into the life I might have dreamed of as a boy: a great job writing on world affairs for Time magazine, an apartment (officially at least) on Park Avenue, enough time and money to take vacations in Burma, Morocco, El Salvador. But every time I went to one of those places, I noticed that the people I met there, mired in difficulty and often warfare, seemed to have more energy and even optimism than the friends I’d grown up with in privileged, peaceful Santa Barbara, Calif., many of whom were on their fourth marriages and seeing a therapist every day. Though I knew that poverty certainly didn’t buy happiness, I wasn’t convinced that money did either.

So — as post-1960s cliché decreed — I left my comfortable job and life to live for a year in a temple on the backstreets of Kyoto. My high-minded year lasted all of a week, by which time I’d noticed that the depthless contemplation of the moon and composition of haiku I’d imagined from afar was really more a matter of cleaning, sweeping and then cleaning some more. But today, more than 21 years later, I still live in the vicinity of Kyoto, in a two-room apartment that makes my old monastic cell look almost luxurious by comparison. I have no bicycle, no car, no television I can understand, no media — and the days seem to stretch into eternities, and I can’t think of a single thing I lack.

I’m no Buddhist monk, and I can’t say I’m in love with renunciation in itself, or traveling an hour or more to print out an article I’ve written, or missing out on the N.B.A. Finals. But at some point, I decided that, for me at least, happiness arose out of all I didn’t want or need, not all I did. And it seemed quite useful to take a clear, hard look at what really led to peace of mind or absorption (the closest I’ve come to understanding happiness). Not having a car gives me volumes not to think or worry about, and makes walks around the neighborhood a daily adventure. Lacking a cell phone and high-speed Internet, I have time to play ping-pong every evening, to write long letters to old friends and to go shopping for my sweetheart (or to track down old baubles for two kids who are now out in the world).

When the phone does ring — once a week — I’m thrilled, as I never was when the phone rang in my overcrowded office in Rockefeller Center. And when I return to the United States every three months or so and pick up a newspaper, I find I haven’t missed much at all. While I’ve been rereading P.G. Wodehouse, or “Walden,” the crazily accelerating roller-coaster of the 24/7 news cycle has propelled people up and down and down and up and then left them pretty much where they started. “I call that man rich,” Henry James’s Ralph Touchett observes in “Portrait of a Lady,” “who can satisfy the requirements of his imagination.” Living in the future tense never did that for me.

Perhaps happiness, like peace or passion, comes most when it isn’t pursued.

I certainly wouldn’t recommend my life to most people — and my heart goes out to those who have recently been condemned to a simplicity they never needed or wanted. But I’m not sure how much outward details or accomplishments ever really make us happy deep down. The millionaires I know seem desperate to become multimillionaires, and spend more time with their lawyers and their bankers than with their friends (whose motivations they are no longer sure of). And I remember how, in the corporate world, I always knew there was some higher position I could attain, which meant that, like Zeno’s arrow, I was guaranteed never to arrive and always to remain dissatisfied.

Being self-employed will always make for a precarious life; these days, it is more uncertain than ever, especially since my tools of choice, written words, are coming to seem like accessories to images. Like almost everyone I know, I’ve lost much of my savings in the past few months. I even went through a dress-rehearsal for our enforced austerity when my family home in Santa Barbara burned to the ground some years ago, leaving me with nothing but the toothbrush I bought from an all-night supermarket that night. And yet my two-room apartment in nowhere Japan seems more abundant than the big house that burned down. I have time to read the new John le Carre, while nibbling at sweet tangerines in the sun. When a Sigur Ros album comes out, it fills my days and nights, resplendent. And then it seems that happiness, like peace or passion, comes most freely when it isn’t pursued.

If you’re the kind of person who prefers freedom to security, who feels more comfortable in a small room than a large one and who finds that happiness comes from matching your wants to your needs, then running to stand still isn’t where your joy lies. In New York, a part of me was always somewhere else, thinking of what a simple life in Japan might be like. Now I’m there, I find that I almost never think of Rockefeller Center or Park Avenue at all.

[Editor's note: an earlier version of this post included an inaccurate reference to the constitution of Japan. It has since been removed.]

Pico Iyer’s most recent book, “The Open Road: The Global Journey of the Fourteenth Dalai Lama,” is just out in

Collins knows the power of his creativity comes from his rest, he knows how to say No, because he is comfortable and embraces his mission in life. He keeps it simple;Nyt article. http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/24/business/24collins.html

2009-05-25T20:22:00.001-07:00

For This Guru, No Question Is Too Big

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/24/business/24collins.html

Kevin Moloney for The New York Times

A lifelong climber, Jim Collins brings the same doggedness to his research, exploring mysteries like why some companies succeed and, in his latest book, how successful companies can implode.

By ADAM BRYANT

Published: May 23, 2009

Boulder, Colo.

JIM COLLINS calls his third-floor offices in the heart of this mountain-ringed city a “management lab.” But little distinguishes his workspace from most others, save for a few things.

There is, for example, the small sign outside the door: “ChimpWorks.” In case anybody doesn’t get the point, a large Curious George doll sits in a leather chair, delivering the we-ask-a-lot-of-questions-here punch line. And in a corner of the white board at the end of his long conference room, Mr. Collins keeps this short list:

Creative 53%

Teaching 28%

Other 19%

…

Oh, he sleeps with vigor, too. He figures that he needs to get 70 to 75 hours of sleep every 10 days, and once went to a sleep lab to learn more about his own patterns. Now — surprise, surprise — he logs his time spent on a pillow, naps included, and monitors a rolling average.

“If I start falling below that,” he says, pointing to the short list on his whiteboard, “I can still teach and do ‘other,’ but I can’t create.”

Mr. Hansen, his co-author on the current turbulence project, occasionally teases Mr. Collins about his relentless self-improvement.

“I always laugh about the sleep log,” he says.

Mr. Collins also is quite practiced at saying “no.” Requests pour in every week for him to give speeches to corporations and trade associations. It could be a bustling sideline, given that he commands a top-tier fee of $65,000 to dispense his wisdom. But he will give only 18 speeches this year, and about a third of them will be pro bono for nonprofit groups.

Companies also ask him to consult. But he mostly declines, agreeing only if the company intrigues him and if its executives come to Boulder to meet him. Over two half-day sessions, for $60,000, he will ask pointed questions and provide very few answers.

“I am completely Socratic,” he said, “and I challenge and push; they come up with their own answers. I couldn’t come up with people’s answers.”

Book tours? No. Splurging with the millions he’s earned from his books? No, too.

He and his wife still live in the 2,500-square-foot Craftsman-style house they bought when they moved back from California 14 years ago to Boulder, their hometown. He keeps his overhead low, with a staff of five people, and adds students for research work as needed.

This orientation — a willingness to say no and focus on what not to do as much as what to do — stems from a conversation that Mr. Collins had with one of his mentors, the late Peter F. Drucker, the pioneer in social and management theories.

Role of dads in kids sex risks, and further evidence to confirm dad’s count.

2009-05-18T09:20:00.001-07:00

Involved Dads Lower Their Kids' Sex Risks | LiveScience Also doing things together as family lowered risks, more cohesion?, more involved, prob tighter boundaries. Higher income less involved, interesting paradox.

Involved Dads Lower Their Kids' Sex Risks

BySally Law, LiveScience's Science of Sex Columnist

posted: 15 May 2009 02:59 pm ET

Dads don't typically go ballistic when they find out their teenage son or daughter is having sex. Instead, fathers respond by becoming more involved in their childrens' lives, according to a new study.

The study contradicts previous research that found parentsreact with angerand detachment when they discover that theirteenage sons or daughtersare sexually active — a reaction that then can cause teens to take more sexual risks.

"Youth who engaged more regularly in activities with their families and had fathers who were more knowledgeable about their friends and activities thereafter reported lower average levels ofsexual risk behaviorsin comparison to their peers with less engaged parents," writes Boston College's Rebekah Levine Coley, who headed up the research.

The study, published in the May/June issue of the journalChild Development, examined "risky sexual behaviors" and parenting methods among 3,206 teenagers ages 13-18 for four years. The data was gathered via annual questionnaires and assessed how youth and their families changed over time.

Risky sexual behavior was defined as the early initiation of sexual activity, frequent sexual intercourse, multiple partners, and inconsistent use ofreliable birth control.

Teens with involved dads reported 7 percent less sexual activity than average. However, the researchers didn't find that a father's increased knowledge did anything to curb his child's actions.

Overall,mothersstill knew more about their kids' lives, and the study found that they didn’t react strongly one way or another to their children's sexual behavior. However, this could be because mothers are already informed about their kids, and dads' increased awareness is simply a matter of rising to mothers' levels.

"Fathers also, on average, declined more in their parental knowledge over time than did mothers, though this difference was very small," Coley said.
The study also found that fathers didn't react differently to sons or daughters. But girls responded more strongly to their fathers' involvement and family activities than did boys, and this home environment was more protective for girls.

Family activities were the most important protective factor against teen sex — teens who ate dinner with their families and engaged in other types of family activities on a regular basis had lower sexual risk behaviors than average. Interestingly, households with higher incomes had lower average levels of regular family activities.

Family activity level — and overall parental involvement — was low for kids living with step-parents as well.

"Youth who lived with step-parents or who resided for some portion of the study time in a single-parent household showed notably higher average levels of sexual risk behaviors than did their peers in stable and biological-parent families," writes Coley.

"These results highlight the benefits of stable biological-parent families, but also suggest that the quality of parenting is important above and beyond the effects of family structure."

vialivescience.com

On rest and vitality, fuel that drives the engine.

2009-05-18T09:09:00.001-07:00

It struck me perhaps rest and sleep is the first requisite for effective doing. I have so much to do that I must rest. A riff off Martin Luther

What Makes Us Happy? Valliant's study following a cohort for 70 years ,what lives, what paradoxes. What are lessons learned?

2009-05-12T17:39:00.000-07:00

What Makes Us Happy? a 70 year study on the story of men and their weird real lives that defy category, and simple answers? Vaillant's study

FROM
http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200906/happiness

Read more: "wholefamilyjoy's posterous - Home" - http://wholefamilyjoy.posterous.com/?page=2#ixzz0FLIM82NJ&A

Summary of Class III WholeFamilyJOY

2009-05-04T10:27:00.001-07:00

Class III review for those of you who were unable to make it for lame excuses like having to partake in your children's wonderful activities, here is a brief summary. You can simply imagine how good it was. Jk; actually slightly scattered as we tried to squeeze too much information into too small a space. Our life story.

Recap on class I, you were meant for joy. God delights in his children, and we can call him Abba father. Despite our own parent’s inadequacies, as well as their wonderful legacies, we have what it takes to be parents full of wonder and joy. God delights in you and you have what it takes to delight in your children. (Offshoots from Jonathan Edward’s and John Piper Desiring God; Link to Amazon Bookstore ) See Desiring God Ministries. We need to express that in all the manifold ways that our children experience. (See 5 languages of love for kids, Gary Chapman and Ross Palmer)

We were meant for delight and JOY , grab hold of it. Don’t settle.
Loving your children is not the same as loving them well.
Recap on class II: push versus pull parenting. We strive to be magnetic parents and magnetic families. Drawing our children in one another and to all the good stuff: joy, vitality, creativity, peace, gentleness, patience. You get the picture.

When we push parent, we strive to control what our kids do, rather than influencing them. When we pull parent, we anchor operationally in setting examples, attracting them to our way of doing and thinking; “all the cool people are doing it.” That's you as parents. (At least until the kids are about 12. Then it's another story.)

Obstacles for joy: joy is not merely or purely a spiritual activity. Emotional, physical, spiritual, mind categories are useful but artificial. They are intricately interconnected and overlap.

For example, we spent much of the time talking about the effects of parents sleep problem on family joy. Most of us know the proper parenting techniques. But it's very hard to implement them when we don't feel well. Many of us lack adequate rest. We are tired, and chronically so. This almost always leads to less patience, less vitality, more irritability and grumpiness.

Lack of sleep and rest creates its own vicious feedback loops. Even mild sleep deprivation increases cortisol and stress levels. It interferes with, and diminishes our ability to deal with life’s kookiness. It can increase our appetites and changes our body’s satiety signals for food. Sleep deprivation has been shown to spaz our amygdala (our emotional regulatory center) to intermittently flare out of proportion to the stressful or upsetting event. 60 minutes episode where they show the amydala flaring on MRI.

Some of us are so chronically sleep deprived that we don't even realize that we are sleep deprived. Yes that’ you, you are in denial. And we no longer feel subjectively tired, but her spouses and children simply think we are grumpy or moody. Go ahead and ask them, I dare you.

Some of us have sleep apnea, snoring, choking, gasping at night. This has profound and long-lasting effects on brain function, can lead to early dementia, elevate our blood pressure, cause early diabetes, accelerate heart disease, and make us grumpy and spacey. This can be medically treated. The earlier you catch it, the less damage you have. Critically, for the purpose of the JOYFUL family, FIXING it can create a virtuous feedback loop of increased patients, resilience, vitality and joy.

John tells his story in journey of misdiagnosis in life free of pain and severe fatigue.
Some of us are sleep deprived simply because we don't go to bed/go to sleep at a reasonable time for the tasks and so we are in sleep debt. 95% of people need between seven and eight hours of sleep a night. People who sleep less than six hours a night, are at significantly higher risk of death over a long period of time. People who sleep over nine hours at night also face a similar risk. Eventually, the debt must be paid.

Class III: Joy is not primarily about circumstance. We talked about Philippians 4 verse six. Positive psychology academic literature supports this. Quadriplegics and lottery winners typically are no better off and some are worse off in terms of subjective happiness one year after their big life event.

Thea and I discussed our financial struggles over the past year, ie the prospect of involuntary sale of our home. She shared the struggle of being stripped of substantial amounts of security and the joy of finding our home in God's presence.

We discussed magnetic parenting in the context of relationships. Marriage is like another child in the family. It is a vital engine of family vitality. When the marriage is stressed, the family is stressed, and the kids are under duress. We discussed briefly John Gottman's literature and academic research on the decline of marital satisfaction after having children. It takes an enormous amount of work to overcome this very strong inertial pull.
We discussed the grumpy child, otherwise known as the intense child, the strong-willed Child, and occasionally known as the evil one. JK . We discussed our own experiences a case study of a child with mild sleep apnea i.e. snoring that with medication improved temperament substantially enough that a virtuous cycle could start.

Most common causes of grumpy children are grumpy adults, i.e. their parents. Other causes include sleep deprivation of all types include, sleep apnea or sleep disordered breathing, aka choking, gasping, snoring and moving a lot at night during sleep, restless legs syndrome (an actual medical disease), and circadian rhythm abnormalities. Circadian rhythm abnls, usually in the form of advanced a sleep disorder, i.e. night owls show up as a parent or child not feeling sleepy until 10-11p. This is extremely common in teenagers for biological as well as social reasons. Also this tends to run in families. These are the night owls who insist on watching tv until the wee hours of the night, because they have a hard time falling asleep.

John Louis shared a beautiful testimony of his journey from brokenness to healing, and the power of massage and touch that drives him passionately as a father and massage therapist. He has some dvds that he would love to give away to teach parents about the techniques and power of therapeutic touch. Here’s a link. http://www.acuforce.com/products.html

How to deal with the grumpy child. We didn't go into this too much as we ran out of time, but we will be dealing with this in the next seminar.
Penultimately (cool word look it up) , Thea presented her word picture of oranges in kimchi

jar. You had to be there. Bottom line, be intentional about the things that fill your family with joy and make them a priority. Then all the rest of the stuff of life can fit around that.

Lastly, we discussed making some concrete action plans to pursue joy. For example, Carrol discussed an example where their family during the summers participated in planning out their whole family summer activities. Their kids had substantial input in buy in and ultimately investment in those activities and they paid a real joy dividend.
We offered to coach, encourage, pray for and keep accountable their joy goals over the next four weeks. It takes about four weeks typically to start and establish a pattern or habit.

I encouraged folks to make three concrete and attainable goals, i.e. not eat healthy. Perhaps, something like eliminate most processed foods from diet. Turn off TV for four weeks with limited exceptions. Exercise for 30 minutes four times a week for four weeks. You get the picture. I am enclosing a link to a spreadsheet database. LINK TO joy spreadsheet .

I encourage you to fill it out and we will pray for you in this journey. At the end of the day, it takes an enormous amount of energy to overcome life's inertia. We believe that energy has to come not necessarily from within ourselves but from our creator who loves us and delights in us. God bless and good journeys.

We intend to offer a similar class over the next several months, God willing in the Promiseland time during church. Please pray for us in this. Please be seeking to invite others who might benefit from a deeper understanding that God is their delight, and that he empowers us to delight and enjoy our children.

Sleep Apnea Linked to Memory Loss - washingtonpost.com ; early alzheimers ? for osa pts

2009-04-30T22:02:00.001-07:00

Wednesday, June 11, 2008; 12:00 AM

WEDNESDAY, June 11 (HealthDay News) -- People with sleep apnea show tissue loss in brain regions that help store memory, a University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) study shows.

"Our findings demonstrate that impaired breathing during sleep can lead to serious brain injury that disrupts memory and thinking," principal investigator Ronald Harper, a professor of neurobiology at the David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA, said in a prepared statement.

via washingtonpost.com

Posted via web from wholefamilyjoy's posterous

Happiness 101 - New York Times; it's the hip thing in colleges, and it's actually useful I think

2009-04-30T21:38:00.001-07:00

Happiness 101

By D.T. MAX

Published: January 7, 2007

Correction Appended

One Tuesday last fall I sat in on a positive-psychology class called the Science of Well-Being — essentially a class in how to make yourself happier — at George Mason University in Fairfax, Va. George Mason is a challenge for positive psychologists because it is one of the 15 unhappiest campuses in America, at least per The Princeton Review. Many students are married and already working and commute to school. It’s a place where you go to move your career forward, not to find yourself.

via nytimes.com

Posted via web from wholefamilyjoy's posterous

re Class III at Willowcreek NorthShore.Wrapping UP Magnetic Families,Obstacles to Joy;grumpy kids,parental being over technique,can't give what you don't have.Get it and don't settle.

2009-04-29T19:54:00.001-07:00

Wrapping up Magnetic Families, Whole Family JOY

Obstacles to Joy;

Focus on Circumstances. How to avoid the Buzz kill flu.

Grumpy kids, Marriage as the second child.

Vicious cycles, virtuous cycles

Parental being over technique,

Let's talk about technique; WIN WIN;

Judo moves,

Pick your battles carefully, but when you have them, ALWAYS WIN.

It's ok to negotiate.

What you sound like to your children when you are grumpy.

Can't give what you don't have.Get it and don't settle.

An interview about the importance of touch.

Eat from the banquet of JOY PRAXIS

Making an action plan: Rest more, do less.

Eat what you enjoy, Exercise more.

Watch less TV, Make LOVE MORE; Gotcha.

Focus on the now, not the woulda shoulda coulda.

Dream on,

I say it again Rejoice, and Delight yourself in the Lord and He will Give you the Desires of your heart.

Embracing a Savior, our Emmanuel.

John C Kim MD and Thea N Kim, mother of 4 delicious children.

Remember to invite your friends.

www.kiddoc.ORG
www.wholefamilyjoy.com

Posted via email from wholefamilyjoy's posterous

re what to do when faced with high viral loads, Phil 4 v 6; Enjoy your life, your health, live the day very very well.

2009-04-29T19:37:00.001-07:00

Posted via email from wholefamilyjoy's posterous

Snorkeling Fail

2009-04-28T20:24:00.001-07:00

Check out this video on YouTube:

John C Kim MD
Sent telepathically from imind. A man So cutting edge,he sometimes falls off.
Www.kiddoc.org

Posted via email from wholefamilyjoy's posterous

The Science Behind Overeating - The Wall Street Journal.

2009-04-28T20:09:00.001-07:00

I thought you would be interested in the following story on WSJ.com.

The Science Behind Overeating

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124084009832659309.html

The Wall Street Journal Mobile Reader for iPhone^TM delivers the latest global news, financial events, market insights and information to keep you ahead of the curve. Get the information you depend on plus entertainment, culture, and sports coverage when, where, and how you want it from the most credible source for news and information. Click below to download the WSJ Mobile Reader for free from the iTunes App Store.

http://www.wsj.com/iphoneinstall

John C Kim MD

Sent telepathically from imind. A man So cutting edge,he sometimes falls off.

Www.kiddoc.org

Posted via email from wholefamilyjoy's posterous

Reinventing Date Night for Long-Married Couples via nyt This kind of love novelty takes some creative juices, and they're hard to come by when we are tired and stressed.

2009-04-28T16:32:00.001-07:00

via nytimes.com

Does anyone do these kinds of novel things on a regular basis?

Posted via web from wholefamilyjoy's posterous

A.D.H.D. Drugs Linked to Higher Test Scores - Well Blog - NYTimes.com

2009-04-28T15:46:00.001-07:00

A.D.H.D. Drugs Linked to Higher Test Scores

via well.blogs.nytimes.com

parents and kids have figured this out some time ago, and it's part of the reason medication rates are so high in high performing schools; the real positive prosocial effect may be on poorer kids; ie does this lead to higher levels of graduation, higher scores ,better grades, less delinquincy, etc.

Posted via web from wholefamilyjoy's posterous

Lack of sleep makes kids grumpy, ? prove it

2009-04-28T15:15:00.000-07:00

Bullet message is lack of sleep, which for these Finnish kids is about nl for American kids, affects grumpiness, ie behavior, and it's the oppositional defiant stuff that really messes families up.

Lack of Sleep in Children Linked to ADHD Symptoms
http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/702000
Carolinei Cassels

What magnetic parenting class is all about

2009-04-28T14:34:00.001-07:00

It's not a self help class, it's a "I need help class". Freedom and power to change requires enormous energy, the spiritual and emotional equivalent of Energy of Activation, it's the hump that we have to get over to have real change in our lives. That energy comes from outside ourselves and within ourselves. We call it the Holy Spirit and He dwells with us. Emanuel and our Savior. Abba Father.

joy principle savoring

2009-04-28T14:33:00.001-07:00

Most consistent thing I hear about parenting is to savor this time with young children because it flies supersonic. I learn to sAvor

Class Thurs night at WillowCreek North Shore Thurs April 23

2009-04-22T10:15:00.000-07:00

Thank you for hearing our stories last week for those of you who attended the class whole family joy. Thank you for attending and giving up this most precious commodity of time.

We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves and we hope you got something out of it. Several people have encouraged us, saying things like we like that the woman led and that was gutsy of you to talk about your failings and brokenness.
We hope that it was relevant to you and we certainly were encouraged by just being able to prepare for this class.

To recap, in session 1 we talked about Isaiah 61. Bringing the brokenness from our past and present and seeing him grow good things out of our manure , bringing our despair to God, and seeing him give us a garment of praise instead We spoke about the centrality of experiencing God's delight in us through Jesus.
We all want our children and our families to be happy and joyful. The most important factor that determines that is our own joy. Are we experiencing that? John described how he was worried he would be a good father. And how his ABBA father taught him that he delights in him. And he's able to now express that and give that to his children. And how that empowers us to be able to enjoy and delight in our children.

Preview of class 2: We will watch a scene from Chariots of Fire where Eric Liddle explains to us HOW he glorifies God. Don't worry we will not be doing any running in class.
We will try to define what joy really is. A salad bowl with lots of good fruit in it? Come and see what we mean.

We will discuss what some of the obstacles to joy are in our family lives?

We will try to connect the dots; how emotional, physical, spiritual stuff all works together. Theory of everything. OR otherwise known as the BIG TOE.
We will try to understand the ying yang of rest and vitality. But you can't fall asleep in class.
We will discuss the paradigm of vicious cycles and the virtuous cycles and how they affect everything.
We will explore the concept of magnetic parenting, the law of attraction in joyful families.

We will interview a life coach, our very own Vernelle Pakravan and her ministry here at Willow Creek.

We may even dance. And cry. (or laugh at that man crying)
Please come and share your warmth, your bodies, and your experiences, and we invite you to spontaneously invite others to share this good stuff.

John C Kim MD and Thea N Kim
www.kiddoc.ORG
www.wholefamilyjoy.com

847-346-0846 FAX
773-321-8183 (best number)

Willow Creek Registration information

2009-04-07T20:47:00.000-07:00

Joyful Families "Whole Family JOY"

Registration LINK
Do you want to intentionally build joy into your life and family? Do you struggle with putting limits on activity and just resting? We invite you to take steps to pursue optimal health and joy for your family!

This interactive course will focus on the connections between healthy lifestyles, joy, and great parenting. A key emphasis will be how to model joyful Christ-centeredness as a means of effective discipleship, learning, and behavior shaping for children.
Course Dates: Thursday, 4/16, 4/23, 4/30 (3 weeks)
Recommended Resources: You will find class resources at: www.kiddoc.org

Instructor Information:

Dr. John Kim is a board-certified pediatrician in private practice with North Shore University Health Systems. Previously, he was Assistant Professor of Pediatrics at the University of Chicago and Chief of Medical Staff at LaRabida Children’s Hospital, a hospital specializing in the care of children with complex and chronic medical needs. Dr. Kim was co-founder and medical director of the International Adoption Clinic at the University of Chicago Children’s Hospital. He is married and has four children. He also received a Biblical Certificate at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School.
Thea Kim taught in Chicago for nine years, most of which were with Chicago Public Schools. Thea has spent 22 years of her life learning how to invest in and strengthen families. She is blessed to be mothering four children and is thankful for the personal growth in her life that has helped her to enjoy them more and more. Thea is currently a coach in Promiseland at Willow Creek North Shore.

re NEW YORK TIMES article on pediatric sleep

2009-03-11T14:10:00.001-07:00

Distractions May Shift, but Sleep Needs Don't

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By PERRI KLASS, M.D.

Published: March 9, 2009

For a long time, children used to go to bed early, and not just in Proust. Think of Robert Louis Stevenson:

Enlarge This Image

SAPPED Sleep needs and demanding schedules often clash for students.

Do your kids have a bedtime? Join the discussion.

Go to Well »

In winter I get up at night

And dress by yellow candle-light.

In summer, quite the other way,

I have to go to bed by day.

I have to go to bed and see

The birds still hopping on the tree.

Well, not my children. Clearly, I did this wrong.

When I read that Barack and Michelle Obama had set their daughters' bedtime for 8 p.m., I asked my oldest (now 25) if he remembered having a bedtime when he was little. He just laughed at me.

When he was a preschooler, I was a pediatric resident (before the limits on work hours), and evenings tended to start around 7 p.m. And mind you, these were 1980s evenings, free of e-mail and cellphones and texting and all the other distractions that make it harder and harder for a child — or an adult — to say goodnight. I'm not sure any of my three children ever had a regular bedtime before 9:30 or 10.

Even at that, I'm afraid, we were pretty ad hoc: oh my, it's almost 11 and the kid is still awake! Time to read him a story and put him to bed.

There's nothing I care about more fervently than reading to children, and I have long been an advocate — both in public and as a parent — for books at bedtime. Ah yes, but what is bedtime, and who decides? My youngest, who is 13, has to get up pretty early, and we try to persuade him to go to bed by 10:30 or so on school nights — unless he still has homework, or we're all out at a movie, or there's an important baseball game on the West Coast.

In other words, I'm still getting it wrong, and I'm only now coming to understand why it matters.

"The literature really strongly suggests the average early to mid-adolescent needs 9 to 9.25 hours a night," said Dr. Judith Owens, an associate professor ofpediatrics at the Alpert Medical School of Brown University, who directs the Pediatric Sleep Disorders Clinic at Hasbro Children's Hospital.

She quickly headed off my question about children — or adults — who don't need that much sleep. "It's a bell-shaped curve," she said, with just 2.5 percent of the population needing significantly less sleep than average.

"The problem," she went on, "is that 95 percent of us think we're in that 2.5 percent. You should assume until proven otherwise that your kid needs that much sleep."

What is the bedtime recommendation for an 8- or 9-year-old? The experts sensibly suggest that you work backward from wake-up time, trying for 10 hours of sleep, and testing your routine by checking whether the child wakes spontaneously, alert and cheerful and ready for the day (no, mine generally did not).

In part, the idea of fixed and early bedtimes for children is part of a larger parental vision of the protected life of the child, moving along on a very distinct daily schedule, and also, of course, protecting some time for the parents. But it's also redolent of nursery hours and nursery comfort.

"Can anything harm us, mother, after the night-lights are lit?" asks Michael in "Peter Pan," and Mrs. Darling reassures him (not realizing that he is about to fly away to Never-Never Land). "So long, farewell," sing the von Trapp children in "The Sound of Music." And of course, "When the Children Are Asleep," plan the couple in "Carousel."

As children move into middle school, Dr. Owens said, they still need plenty of sleep, but it gets harder for them to follow the schedule that the world demands.

"Sleep needs don't change all that dramatically from late elementary through middle school into high school," she said. "What changes is the circadian rhythm of sleep and wake, and typically as you go into and through pubertyyour sleep and wake time shifts by as much as two hours. They simply can't fall asleep as early as they did when they were 7 or 8 years old." That is why many experts say the high school day should start later.

Mary Carskadon, a professor of psychiatry and human behavior at Brown and the director of chronobiology research at E. P. Bradley Hospital, says that in the sleep lab, researchers can assess a child's sleep drive by looking at EEG recordings of the brain, and monitor circadian rhythm by testing saliva.

"We assess the amount of melatonin that's produced, an excellent marker of brain timing: when we see the melatonin signal turn on, that's telling us it's nighttime for the brain. We've measured that signal at different developmental stages," she said, and "as kids are passing through puberty, we see this push for nighttime to be later."

Even as we've come to understand more and more about the importance of sleep, for brain function and learning, for mental and physical health, the world has gotten to be a harder and harder place for a child to go to sleep. The basic advice pediatricians give to parents of young children about bedtime routines — turn off the television, take her on your lap, read a book — is important for older children, too: spend time together, wind down, turn off electronic devices, read a book.

Let's face it, even if you keep the television out of the bedroom (which you should absolutely do), the nursery is now pretty fully wired in many families, and most children are aware of entertainment and communication possibilities that go on all evening long. I may have let my children stay up too late (O.K., Idid let my children stay up too late), but at least I pushed hard for reading, being read to and just plain hanging out.

And as we try to take account of the new research on the importance of sleep, the bedtime routine may remain every bit as important as the bedtime.

--
John C Kim MD
www.kiddoc.ORG
www.adoptionchicago.com
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Whole Family JOY; MAGFAM Magnetic Families Magnificent Families

this constitutes a huge even epic social engineering/experimentation because of the rapidity of change in family dynamics

Surging Internet Use Cutting Into Family Time

Postpartum Depression Epidemic Affects More than Just Mom

A deep despair mars the first year of motherhood for as many as one in five women. Without treatment, postpartum depression can weaken critical bonds between a mother and her child

re fda warning re stims, more controversy, the hard and sad thing about this kind of study is that many young children who would benefit will likely be pulled off meds, and who can count increase in accidents from untreated impulsivity, etc

re fda warning re stims, more controversy, the hard and sad thing about this kind of study is that many young children who would benefit will likely be pulled off meds, and who can count increase in accidents from untreated impulsivity, etc

Stimulant Medications used in Children with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder - Communication about an Ongoing Safety Review

A great article on a reporter’s journey into insidious sleep disorder. This is the tip of the iceberg.

When Sleep Leaves You Tired

By MELINDA BECK

Screening tools for sleep disorder; the Epworth Sleepiness Scale

The Joy of Less

Collins knows the power of his creativity comes from his rest, he knows how to say No, because he is comfortable and embraces his mission in life. He keeps it simple;Nyt article. http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/24/business/24collins.html

For This Guru, No Question Is Too Big

Role of dads in kids sex risks, and further evidence to confirm dad’s count.

Involved Dads Lower Their Kids' Sex Risks | LiveScience Also doing things together as family lowered risks, more cohesion?, more involved, prob tighter boundaries. Higher income less involved, interesting paradox.

Involved Dads Lower Their Kids' Sex Risks

On rest and vitality, fuel that drives the engine.

What Makes Us Happy? Valliant's study following a cohort for 70 years ,what lives, what paradoxes. What are lessons learned?

Summary of Class III WholeFamilyJOY

Sleep Apnea Linked to Memory Loss - washingtonpost.com ; early alzheimers ? for osa pts

Happiness 101 - New York Times; it's the hip thing in colleges, and it's actually useful I think

Happiness 101

re Class III at Willowcreek NorthShore.Wrapping UP Magnetic Families,Obstacles to Joy;grumpy kids,parental being over technique,can't give what you don't have.Get it and don't settle.

re what to do when faced with high viral loads, Phil 4 v 6; Enjoy your life, your health, live the day very very well.

Snorkeling Fail

The Science Behind Overeating - The Wall Street Journal.

Reinventing Date Night for Long-Married Couples via nyt This kind of love novelty takes some creative juices, and they're hard to come by when we are tired and stressed.

A.D.H.D. Drugs Linked to Higher Test Scores - Well Blog - NYTimes.com

Lack of sleep makes kids grumpy, ? prove it

What magnetic parenting class is all about

joy principle savoring

Class Thurs night at WillowCreek North Shore Thurs April 23

Willow Creek Registration information

Joyful Families "Whole Family JOY"

re NEW YORK TIMES article on pediatric sleep

Distractions May Shift, but Sleep Needs Don't

Well