when words dwindle thoughts

Bane Of Existence

noreply@blogger.com (Rahul Nair) — Tue, 19 Mar 2013 08:23:43 PDT

{ This one has been sitting idly in drafts for more than a year. Most of it owing to my laziness to edit and publish. Finally I got around to it and the reason for that has to be yet another blog. Before you go on - the story might not be fictional but the characters and settings are.}

The Sun had silently gone to sleep. His last rays bounced off the golden sands. The groundnut peddler hit his wares furiously. The tantalizing smell of onion pakodas gave a tough fight to my diet plans. But the Beach was not the same today. The Waves don't sound happy. They sing in sorrow like they understand her.

Her. Her brown eyes don't sparkle today. They are fixed at the horizon. I can't decipher the sadness in them. Moments of happiness end at the same point in infinity. Her each gesture has a story of its own, like the grains of sand washed up and away by the waves.

She is a friend not a lover. A friend not of old times, but found anew. I always wondered how we ended up as friends, how we chose each other from the thousands that thronged the bustling city.

The conversation was not going anywhere. There was no conversation at all.

'Time to go..', I said, picking myself up and dusting my trousers.

She didn't say anything. I lent her a hand. She got up reluctantly like a child being pulled away from a swing. We made our way slowly to the road where her car was parked.

' Okay, that's it. Are you going to tell me whats up or still want me to stand around and guess? ', I said. There was a moment after that , a second , may be half a second, I saw her eyes well up. But she didn't cry, she never cried. Those tears are imprisoned.

' I saw my old maths tuition teacher today.'

' Oh!! and you got a bashing from her for getting 2+2 wrong after 20 years? Good reason to be sad.'

'Not her, him'

'What?'

'The teacher's a He not a Her.'

' Ok! Sorry. Can we get to the point? Was HE alright, I mean, he might be old?'

'No, its not that. Leave it, you wouldn't understand.'

'I talk Eng-li-sh too. I scored 90 for English in ISC. Mind you ISC is tough. If you need proof I will show my mark list to you. Its at home or better lets...'

'Alright!!! ', she took a pause. She seemed to be forming phrases in her mind to tell me.

'Well, he did things to me you know. He was a bad guy.'

I just stared. I am very bad at saying stuff that comforts people and I converse even worse in situations like this. After an awkward silence, I ask the most stupid question I could think off.

'Where did you meet?'

A sharp look from her is enough to know that I just got an inch closer to getting kicked. My cover up question followed

'He didn't recognize you, right?'

'No, he didn't. I didn't know what to do when I saw him. I was so vent up with anger and disgust. I was eleven. I couldn't tell my parents. I failed my exam on purpose and told my parents that he was not teaching me well. I was traumatized after that. He had poisoned my dreams. I could never befriend a boy. You are one of the few men I have as friends. Now you know why I shy away from men. I don't shy, I fear them, loathe them.'

'Its been a long time. You should move on.'

'This is why I told that you wouldn't understand. You belong to the same sex after all.'

We reached the car. It is a Maruthi Zen, one of those yellow colored ones. I remember the evening we found the car following in an advertisement on the library notice board. The owner was in a hurry to sell it off as he was relocating to America. We had got a good deal and had celebrated it with a couple of quiet beers.

The car smelled of lavender dispensed dutifully by the perfume perched on the AC grill. I was thinking of how to fill in the twenty minute drive home with conversation, when she spoke.

' I saw him today morning at the traffic island just before the office.' she said.

I decided to remain quiet for the good of both of us.

' I had a call at seven, so I went early today. I saw him crossing the road. I recognized him immediately. I saw him getting hit by a car. He fell down. Hit his head. The car sped away. I could see blood forming on the road, slowly oozing away from him. I could have helped him. I didn't. Instead I turned and walked. '

I gave her hands a squeeze. They were cold. She broke away to shift the gear.

'You don't need to feel guilty.' I Said

'You had your reasons. I am sure he would have got help, people pass by often on that road.'

' I don't feel guilty that I didn't help him. I feel guilty that I feel happy. Its like something I always wanted but didn't want to happen.'

We overran a traffic signal to receive a who-taught-you-driving-you-son-of-a-bitch honking.

'You need some rest. Shall I drive? ', I asked. Usually such an offer would face rebuttal.But that day she relented.

When we are around five minutes from her home, I stopped the car by the side of the road. I had something to tell her.

'Why did you stop?'

'I used to learn music when I was a kid. I loved it. But then my music teacher couldn't come any more because she had to move away. We found another teacher.He was old. He had the same white eyebrows and balding head like my Grandpa. He used to be nice to me. But then one day he started touching me. He made me do things I didn't understand. I didn't feel good. I stopped looking forward for music classes. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if I could tell my parents. Then one day as he was leaving, I pushed him down the stairs. He didn't die. He just broke his arm. But he never came home after that. I lost interest in music. I told my parents I didn't want to learn anymore. But I never felt a tinge of guilt for what I did till now. I just feel I didn't do enough.'

I didn't look at her. I pulled the car out of parking and drove on. We reached her house. I denied her offer to drive me home. We didn't say good night. Just a tight hug.

I walked home. The dark night was rushing onto me. But the lights along the road kept it at bay. I didn't have to wonder anymore. I knew then how we ended up as friends. I knew then why we found each other from the thousands that thronged the bustling city.

How to run a Marathon : 10 Practical Tips

noreply@blogger.com (Rahul Nair) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 21:23:35 PST

First Things First: Wish you and your loved ones a very happy, peppy and zappy 366 days in 2012


Looks Good Right? But Do You Know that he is not following some of the Golden Rules?

As you might be aware, I have been preparing for a marathon(half). Due my extreme commitment in the preparations I decided to change my category from 25 to 12.5 KM so that the regular winners of 25 k are not disheartened by their sudden loss. But as 12.5 KM is not my category, I knew I could not finish first. But life is full of sacrifices ain't it? While running the marathon, I picked up some tips and came to know that most of my "training" didn't incorporate the important stuff that contributes to better and efficient running.

These are my observations and are awaiting patent. Humble as I am, I hate to say it but I am expecting a Nobel prize in Sports. Till then I hope you keep these things between us. Here are ten tips that will help you for sure whether you are over prepared or under prepared.

TIP #1: Bigger the Belly, the Better

Point No:1

The above diagram is self explanatory. Here vertical velocity does no come into play as the device is fixed to your body and bounces back. So Vertical velocity gets cancelled on a whole. The horizontal velocity propels you forward giving you a one sided advantage over no-belly runners.

Ever heard an advise saying strengthen your core muscles blah blah blah ? Follow that if you want you lose out on valuable momentum and horizontal velocity gained by having a good sizable belly.

Point No 2: Girls love teddy bears. Teddy bears are cute. Ask Yourself, have you ever seen a teddy bear with six packs?

TIP #2: Always smile for the photographer and run hard when he's around

TIP#2 Demonstration

See what I did there. Brilliant Stuff! Proof of my running skills and Bragging rights for life eternal!!

TIP #3: ALWAYS - choose a marathon with loads of food

A fully loaded food stall far ahead in the hazy mist - talk about motivation. There are few better motivators than FOOD. It will give your timings an extra boost.

TIP #4: Wear a hat or a headband

This is a tip you will get from no other expert. This has been put down from my thorough observations. 90% of the guys/gals who finished in the top three had a head band or cap. How it helps you is a mystery. Does it do anything better than keeping your sweat at bay? Scientists are currently working on an answer in my top secret laboratory in the Thar desert. I am giving away too much of secret information nowadays, no?

TIP #5: Target the "Fatter" Guy

Its a well known tip. I, myself have followed this technique from my school years. There will be some fatter guys who will give you a run for your money, but always remember that there are enough lazy people in the world and half of them turn up at a marathon.

TIP #6: This carbohydrate diet that people suggest is utter crap

I was on a heavy carbohydrate diet for one week hoping all the stored away energy will come back to me when running. And what happened? I managed to add a spare tire onto my tummy. It did help me with Tip #1 . Hey, may be that is the whole idea. Eureka!

TIP #7: Pee before the whistle
That is unless you want to display your trajectory skills (applicable only for male runners) picked up at school to a horde of people running by.

I guess, female runners will have an excruciating wait till a set of those portable loo cabins come up.

TIP #8: Have a different name on you bib
This way you maintain your identity a secret in times of shameless defeat.

TIP #9 : Ice blocks at the finish are for your legs
No they don't serve spirits at the finish and its absolutely not to make your water colder.

TIP #10 : ALERT: The guy you overtake happily might have already finished
When you overtake that loser walking leisurely and clicking pictures, BEWARE. It can only mean two things - either that he has already finished before you which invariably makes you the loser or that he might be from the photo crew which invariably makes you an idiot to think he is a runner.

HAPPY RUNNING FOLKS!

Kalsa Waterfall (Barajanancha Vazar) To Sural Waterfall (Ladki cha Vazar) Trek

noreply@blogger.com (Rahul Nair) — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 07:35:11 PST

Sural Waterfall from the view point in the village of Sural

It was a search for Heaven that led us to Belgaum. The spark came from a set of photos posted on FB . Temptation overcame us and a trip for the immediate weekend took shape. We wanted to hit the place before the end of October. Lack of rains can change a landscape into something else altogether. Without enough time to plan, road blocks had good luck finding us. We couldn't get reservations in a resort called Wildernest. Heaven was supposed to be en route to the resort. So the infinity pool plan sunk with it. It was decided that it should be a trekking + sight seeing trip instead. Trekking on Saturday and scouting on Sunday (armed with the approximate location of the place from Vatsa's friend, who was the lucky soul who posted the photos). Bangalore was left behind for a weekend.

Day 1 : Kalsa Waterfall (Barajanancha Vazar) To Sural Waterfall (Ladki cha Vazar) Trek

The only interesting part of the journey from Bangalore to Belgaum was the Bangalore round trip given by SRS travels. We boarded the bus at 8:30 in the evening from Anand Rao circle. We were back at Anand Rao circle at around 10:00. Talk about value added service. At seven on Saturday morning the bus ground to a halt near Hotel Ramdev in Belgaum. Belgaum is a popular night stopover for travelers to Goa and Maharashtra and it is very difficult to get rooms. We did manage to find a couple of rooms at Sai Sangam (Opp. Hotel Ramdev), which is right about where the buses stop.

The trek was organized by Sanjay from Infinity Adventures based out of Kankumbi. Kankumbi is near Belgaum (40 Kms) . The nearness ends there. The ride to the place is tougher than the trek. The roads didn't have potholes, the potholes had roads in them. A two hour cumbersome journey deposited us at the resort where Sanjay runs his operations from. [ You can do the trek on your own provided, you are able to find a way to Kalsa waterfall. The advantage that Sanjay gives is the no-headache of cab booking and FOOD.]

View Larger Map

Kalsa Waterfall

We had a second breakfast and started on the trek with our guide Pandu. The trek starts at Kalsa Waterfalls which is 200m from the resort. There is a roundabout way to the waterfall from the top of the Kalsa river, but a bit of adventure never hurts, does it? We rappelled down to the base of the waterfall. Kalsa waterfall is locally known as Barajanancha Vazar. It has something to do with a local lore. The villagers on one side of the Kalsa river invited the villagers on the other side for a festival. Twelve people set out to the village. But before they arrived, the festivities had begun. Humiliated, the twelve people (barah jana) committed suicide by cliff diving off the waterfall. The place was thought to be haunted till very recently. Silly people, na, us Indians?

The trek is roughly 3.5 KM. It takes one through the rocky river bed till one reaches Sural Waterfall. From there it a steep climb brings one to the village of Sural,in Goa. There are shallow pools where you can take a dip to beat the heat and have some fun. Humans will always have a never ending fascination for water bodies. May be because its hard to fathom, for a creature of the land, how life thrives in it and obviously the fun that water alone can provide.

The trek kept us engaged in tripping, slipping, splashing and clicking. When we reached the destination, we were overwhelmed by the beauty of the valley, the depth of the fall and the ravishing landscape.

The Trek

We started our climb to Sural, a narrow path on the right just the before falls. A steep climb with occasional stops for leech removal, brought us to the village of Sural. On the way we passed some villagers and a harmless cobra. Sural reiterates that it is in Goa by the lone shop in the village. No ordinary shop that. A liquor shop. We were guided from there to a view point. From here you can see the whole valley and the water fall from the other side.

Fauna

We thanked Sanjay and made our way back to base camp. We ate a late lunch back base camp and were soon on our way on the treacherous bloody shit of a road back to Belgaum. We asked the cab driver Patil to pick us up the next day for a trip to Tilari nagar, the real reason we came to Belgaum.

Back at the hotel we were equally tired and excited at the prospects that Sunday had to offer. We woke up very early according to Sunday standards and were already on out way to Tilari Nagar by Nine.

Day 2 : Exploring Tilari Nagar, Swapnavel Viewpoint and Pargad Fort

Tilari Nagar is around 60 KM from Belgaum and is in the Kohlapur district of Maharashtra. Our First destination in Kohlapur was the Swapnavel view point and the road to heaven near the view point. Swapnavel view point is a treat. There are a couple of streams which form waterfalls at the edge of the property. You see infinitely stretching peaks and valleys, rivers and waterfalls adorning their sides and lush greenery.

We got out of Swapnavel and drove ahead trying to find the place that we had actually come looking for. A short drive ahead brought us to a bridge but there was no sign of the place. The birdge was an aquaduct. There was a river flowing lazily underneath and light green grass grew over the rocks on the banks of the river. There was a waterfall here as well. We made our way down by the side of the bridge. We explored a bit. It was already lunch time and we decided to abandon our search. Disappointed, we had to go back to Tilari Nagar. We reached Tilari and had home made food at Dhawale's. The food was awesome and that was the highlight of the day. After lunch we bade a sad good bye to Tilari Nagar and followed the road to Pargad.

Tilari Nagar and Swapnavel View Point

Pargad fort was definitely a waste of time. It might have been good at sunset but we arrived at three with no possibilities of a sunset for two hours. We did make up a story regarding an old well in the fort and the pleasant possibility of a treasure tunnel which opens up when you find and fix the fourth pulley which was missing from the well. But overall, dejection was the emotion called for. May be we should have spent more time at Tilari.

We returned to Belgaum. We walked around , bought a box of Kunda, ate our dinner and boarded our bus back to Bangalore. A weekend of mixed emotions came to an end when we got down from the bus and ran to escape Bengaluru's auto bhaiyyas who mobbed us at Anand Rao Circle.

The guys who made this wonderful trip possible : Mrs. Nair, Miss. Nair( My sister), Binu, Manju and Vatsa.

Trip Summary

Travel : Bangalore -> Belgaum -> Bangalore

Duration : 2 Days

Some Useful Contact Info:

Sanjay (Infinity Adventures) : +91 9901498878

Cost comes around Rs.650 per head ( we were a six member group). It might decrease if the group is of a bigger size.

Entry fee at Swapnavel View point (for Sumo) : Rs. 20

Dhawale (food at Thilari Nagar): 02320236075

You need to place an order in advance(morning) for food. It cost us around Rs.80 per person (veg).

If you are booking a cab for a whole day they usually charge for 300 Kms @ Rs.7/km. You can work out a deal with them depending on the distance. (Check with Patil - 09880166947)

Disclaimer: This blog nor I are in any way associated with Infinity adventures or any of the contact people mentioned above. This is just for providing helpful Information. I cannot be held responsible for any cancellations or untoward incident that may happen. And of course the prices are indicative. I am bloody good at writing disclaimers, ain't I?

P.S.: Just to remind you in case you forgot, this weekend is my birthday. You have ample time to buy me gifts. I have lots of Lungis at home, so don't even think about it.

A book made me think (and about time)

noreply@blogger.com (Rahul Nair) — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 01:42:53 PDT

No question now, what had happened to the faces of the pigs. The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.

George Orwell, Animal Farm, Ch. 10

This is not a dissection nor a review of the work Animal Farm. The world has smart people who can write better reviews than me. This is about the relevance of Orwell's writing in today's world. This is about how 100 pages written six decades ago reminded me of the world I live in, how a world changed from an idea of Utopia to a dystopia , how freedom is just an idea and how our lives are driven by lies.

****** Spoiler Alert ******

There are similarities everywhere, alas, to my country and to us, its people. In the story, the animals "defeated" Mr.Jones, the farm owner, to take control of the farm. From then on the animals fall prey to the illusion of freedom created by the pigs who are the "brains" behind running the farm. The pigs created slaves out of the animals. Truth was but lies and lies were still lies. They erased all that remained of the truth from history. They made the animals believe that they had led a worse life before the takeover.

Thinking about this, is India the same India that the people who fought for our freedom envisioned? Is the current power in our Country better than the British Reign? Are we just puppets with Voting power?

At one point Napoleon (one of the pig leaders) opposes Snowball(another pig leader). Snowball wants to build a windmill but Napoleon is against the idea. Napoleon plots against Snowball,drives him out of the farm and becomes the Leader of the animals. After some time in his own leadership, he proposes to build a windmill.

I couldn't help but smile when I read this. It had a haunting similarity to the communist government in Kerala (Orwell himself has written Animal Farm considering a communist party. This is evident by the animals calling each other comrades. However I do not know what led him to pick that ideology.). Even though I am a staunch believer in the original Idea of Socialism, (which the animals at the farm wanted when the revolution started), the whole idea has become twisted in time. Just like Napoleon, the communist government in Kerala never really accepted the idea of computerization. In time they embraced it with much pomp and show.

Another bunch of guys who you see around in every political scenario are the Sheep. The people who blindly believe the lies fed to them and bleat it out without taking a moment to think about it. We see them all the day, but don't realize it, do we?

There are yet many things that hold true today. Contamination of known truth, contriving new meaning for the existing rules, greed, the ecstasy of luxury and much more that I find myself and people around me doing. May be consciously, maybe not.

I would suggest the book. Take an evening, read through, think through. You might think twice the next time you come across a sleazy bastard using us to his advantage. Maybe it will help us some time, this realization.

Man is the only creature that consumes without producing. He does not give milk, he does not lay eggs, he is too weak to pull the plough, he cannot run fast enough to catch rabbits. Yet he is lord of all the animals. He sets them to work, he gives back to them the bare minimum that will prevent them from starving, and the rest he keeps for himself.

George Orwell, Animal Farm

Bannerghata National Park

noreply@blogger.com (Rahul Nair) — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 11:39:38 PDT

Last weekend Mrs. Nair and me had visited Bannerghatta national park. The place closest to Bangalore where you get to see animals other than humans, dogs, cows and crows. We decided to hit the place early to avoid traffic and the weekend picnic goers. And we were spot on with our decision for when we decided to return at around two in the afternoon the crowd was bigger than the Anna campaign. At least 5 schools, two convents, teams from s/w companies and hundreds of nuclear families were fighting to find picnic spots around the park.

Once inside, the main attraction is certainly the Grand Safari. Animal sightings are guaranteed, because they are not exactly in the wild. They are in open spaces, and that's all the wilderness there is to it. It was for sure better than the experience we had at Mudumalai, where a local Jeep driver took for a ride on the highway that runs through the forest in the name of Safari. But that's a story for later. There are separate enclosures for bears, lions and tigers. One will be taken around in Mini Bus will iron grills covering the windows. There are camera holes on the grill. This is certainly the time to go clicking away, because I doubt one will get to see these beings closer else where.

On the return trip we got down at the butterfly park. It is an impressive structure, well maintained. I had visited one such butterfly farm while in the UK, this is better. A museum (dead butterfly display) functions adjacent to the farm. There, a film (in English and Kannada) on the importance of the colourful creatures to the environment runs in a loop.

The zoo has an impressive collection of fauna.The zoo is well kept (only the leopard enclosures were reeking of urine). A lot of reptiles (esp. snakes), Elephants, Zebras, Leopards, Bears, Monkeys, Hippos, Birds (don't miss the great Indian horn bill - the state bird of Kerala) , Crocodiles and the usuals make up the zoo.

Some Useful Info (in case you decide to try the place out)

Opening Timings

9 AM to 5PM. Closed on Tuesdays.

Safari Timings

10 AM to 4 PM

Travel Time

1-1.5 hours depending on traffic

Attractions

Lion, Bear and Tiger Safari, Zoo, Butterfly Park, Museums

Price List

Grand Safari (Inclusive of Zoo ticket) -

160

Zoo

Butterfly Park

Treks are organized as well(lasting for 1-1.5 hours). I think the price was mentioned as 70, but I am not sure if there are conducting it anymore (an inquiry would help).

There is lots of space for Parking. The fee is 15.

Heads Up :

The shops inside the and in the vicinity of the park sell stuff at 5% more than the M.R.P.

Its going to be crowded on weekends, so its better to reach there early and try to catch the first safari.

*All the prices above are as of the time of writing this post. Unfortunately I am no time traveler.

Logical Reasoning At 0530 Hours

noreply@blogger.com (Rahul Nair) — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 03:39:12 PDT

Five minutes more

Not today, tomorrow for sure

You are tired

You work too hard

You look perfect

Diet and compensate

A month more to go
Bad nose block

Its raining

Legs are paining
The fog is thick
Its cold, you'll fall sick.

I have this crazy idea, in my bucket list, of running a full marathon. Even though my body has been designed with the remotest possibility of accomplishing such a feat, I thought to give it a try. As an initial scare I decided to participate in the half marathons of Kaveri Trail and Ultra marathon events of 2011. To my utter surprise and shock it seems I cannot run 21 km without practice. So I have to (try to) get up every day morning and complete at least a quarter of the total distance which till date I have successfully failed to do. The d day is September 18th, after which depending on my availability on Earth (might as well be Heaven by the time I finish 21km on foot), I will update the status of my venture.

Surprise, Surprise!

noreply@blogger.com (Rahul Nair) — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 15:57:44 PDT

Tie the knot by TCR4x4, on Flickr

Prologue

Next month, by this time, I will be a family man from a bachelor bloke. Lightning strikes when you are most unprepared for it, like when you are holding an iron rod. Lightning struck me when I was holding a plane load of iron pillars. The lightning went straight through my flux capacitor and here I am three years into the future. It doesn't feel so bad, but I am concerned about the aftermath of such an unprecedented event. Responsibility was never my accomplice. Well, I chose him not to be. He is like a laxative, shit happens when he's around.

~ ~ ~

To sound fair and to avoid future confrontations and severe implications, I should mention that the to be Mrs.Nair is a good soul. The stinky tramp of a soul, which is mine of course, would be wiping the hawai chappals of her servant's soul. Now that enough balance has been achieved for me to have a grip on my side of the argument, if any should arise in the course of time, let me continue.

The aforesaid event was a calculated and manipulative move by the head of the family named Father. No, I am not complaining here. This is supposed to be a compliment for Father. I went on a much awaited vacation during a fateful September. The year was 2010 and I was just about to cross over the line into the 26th year of my existence. An innocent and unsuspecting me walked right into the centre of some well laid plans. I came home on a Saturday, had the best food I'd had in a year for two days. On Monday, I found myself sitting in the front passenger seat of a car going at 70 kmph to Thiruvalla. I tried to be calm and composed. My tension management guru, Shri. Shri. Sreesanth, had taught me a technique where by pumping your open palms up and down a couple of times, one can calm down easily. Watching all this with amusement were Sister and Mother from the comfort of the back seat.

By the time we reached Ms.Nair's house, there was a fleet of cars following us. The Relatives had joined us at various points through out the journey. If we had adorned a couple of flags to represent any of the various big, small, too small or imaginary political parties' of India, it would have been the perfect picture of a mini political rally. But you know me na, I wasn't intimidated.

A dude walked out of the house to greet us. The dude scanned me with X Ray glasses. At least, it seemed like he was doing so. The dude was Ms.Nair's dad. He ushered us into the house to find many other dudes - mushy dude, pretty serious dude, big dude, tall dude, old dude and small dude (some dudes omitted due to lack of adjectives). I love it when I am the center of attraction, but not of dudes - that gets me nervous. I have never answered so many questions from so many people at the same time. I answered them and get this, I still kept on my innocent boy face. The dude's still scanning. I know this game too well, I won't break. I had heard that this technique was used extensively in the Vietnam war for interrogating POWs.

After my successful round with the dudes they huddled together and came to the decision to call upon the subject of our discussion, Ms. Nair. When my optic nerves registered the sight of the Lady, my brain started processing speech in a mysterious way unknown to me. But my well trained sound output device, brought it down to a much suitable human understandable form of hello. I have a friendly word of advice to the eligible bachelors reading this. When the lady brings you tea, keep down, stay put. For one thing the tea will be hot. The second you wouldn't want to reveal your nervously shaking hand. The tea went down faster than a tequila shot down my throat burning my innards. And then we got to talk away from the prying eyes of the dude.

I had this video of Srinivasan meeting a girl ( from the movie Sandesham) running through my head in a continuous loop. For Non malayali's this would make no sense but for the record that movie rocked. But lucky enough for me none of those dialogues made past my speech output device. To summarize what we talked about - movies, friends, hobbies and family. And what a relief it was to find that her favourite actor was Mohanlal. This meant that we would be able to get along very well, with the major cause of all arguments nullified. The Timekeeper announced that visitation was over. He claimed that we had taken well over 45 minutes, a claim which I will never admit as I am sure it was at least 15 minutes short of the time he claimed it to be. Then came the tough decision making time. I took a long five seconds to come to my decision. The same decision a mouse would take if you present it with the best smelling swiss cheese in the world and said to it that the cheese is its if it wants it. And that too to a cheese whose favourite actor is Mohanlal, there was no way I could have said no. The cheese also liked the mouse. And that is how the poor Ms. Nair got stuck with me for the rest of her life.

~ ~ ~

Epilogue

Now let's suppose I found out that marriage isn't as dangerous as people portray it to be and I find myself alive and kicking after a month. The whole pressure of getting married and settling down is over by now, right. No , Not right. This is when the real thing starts. I happen to know this is the phase when every Relative and passerby asks the QUESTION. ' Vishesham onnumille? (roughly translated as When's the baby coming? )'. This question, like the ones that got me to marry, has been handed down through many generations. It's very tough to avoid. The best way to avoid the answer is to be as vague as possible, just like when your client asks when the next release of the code is - 'Very Soon'. ( Even though ' please wait for eleven minutes, we'll try now and let you know.' seems a more appropriate response, the questioner might decide to stay back and wait for the answer.) . Very soon - is a neat answer that will shut everyone up for at least a couple of months. That gives you two months time to think of your next response. You also get to escape from the below mentioned conversations :

'you need someone to look after you in your old age, you need to have kids when you are young otherwise it will be difficult in future excetera'.

As you can see, I have put a lot of thought into this. I will be putting it in practice shortly and will share the results with you.

Breaking The Myth

noreply@blogger.com (Rahul Nair) — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 06:08:15 PST

It has come to my attention that people's opinion of software engineers is changing. This is a recent phenomena, instigated by the rumours spread by rival professions. I believe these rumours have their origination from secret mendicant organizations, who feel that we are taking away their rightful place in society. These rumours are going on a small trip now. To the outside of outer space [War cry]..

#1 We lack creativity

However,
You and I will meet again

When we're least expecting it

One day in some far off place

I will recognize your face

I won't say goodbye my friend

For you and I will meet again

Till I meet you again,

I'll miss you all very much *

*[All credits to the author. Please mail me if you want your name to be mentioned.]

I have some more sharayis and haikus. And these are from the small collection of goodbye emails i have till now. I am planning to make a book out of them.

Whos not creative, eh?

#2 We are not in shape

I would like to confirm the fact that round and sphere are also in fact shapes. You're welcome. [Wikilink included for non believers.]

#3 Our Wedding market is crashing

Even I got engaged. No need to fear comrades.

#4 We speak geek language
While it is true that in the face of ignorance we blurt out semi memorized computer and management jargons which we are sure the other person wouldn't understand, this reaction is strictly professional. We are down to earth in personal life. We speak the best indianized english and we don't talk computers outside work. The only terms related to computers we speak after work are facebook, twitter and porn.

#5 We are awesome

This is not a myth. Obviously we are awesome.

Lal Salaam,

A Comrade.

Rays Of A Stranger Sun

noreply@blogger.com (Rahul Nair) — Wed, 12 Jan 2011 10:26:04 PST

[I hear her voice, in the mornin’ hours she calls to me

The radio reminds me of my home far a-way

And drivin’ down the road I get a feeling’

That I should have been home yesterday, yesterday.

-Country Roads, John Denver]

This life in strange company -

Lonlier than lonliness.

I burn in sorrow

Under the rays of a stranger Sun.

Shadow's a familiar face,

Ever a silent one.

By Faceless Voices

And voiceless dreams,

Pains are poisoned even more.

I suffer in silence.

Miles from myself

On this stranger shore,

Counting time till summer comes

When the tides shall take me home.

[Wow, this blog was dead for a year. Not dead, there are some half dead drafts. Never could complete any of them. I should kick myself in the a$$, beacuse i missed something I loved doing]

Dreams Sold Here

noreply@blogger.com (Rahul Nair) — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 15:28:00 PST

Brown suit,

Hefty voice,

Subduing charm.

'Dreams Sold Here!,

Pick one if you may', he told.

It is an unfinished post. I couldn't finish it. Anyway Somethings better than nothing. Its been some time, I know. I was getting adjusted to one of those dreams that I bought. Life in a different city is exciting with lots of places to see, different people, different climate, different culture. But when you weigh all these differences ,there is always the one which makes the weighing machine go beserk. I think you got it right.

Sheesh.. Why don't dreams come free!!

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The Dumb Rag Picker

noreply@blogger.com (Rahul Nair) — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 03:26:14 PDT

This stunning image is from aussiegall's photostream on flickr

The cocoa garden behind our rented little house was my favorite haunt. I spent my time climbing the small trees and chasing the brownish orange hens that were always pecking around in our backyard. When the evenings caught up with time, I would run back to the vicinity of the Grampoo tree near the kitchen. The cocoa trees were scary after dark. They seemed to be stripped of all friendly essence that they showed to me all morning. It was during such evenings that she appeared in the empty plot nearby gathering wood.

I would still be playing unwary of her presence till the moment she called out 'Appi...'.It would be the best imitation of the word she could make taking into consideration her impairment. The syllables would send a chill down my spine which would make me run into my house or better if my mother was outside, behind the end of her Saree .When I had reached my safe destination, then only would I even gather courage to stare back at the voice that called me. She would be standing there leaning against the wall smiling at me. Red lips perched on a dark face. A smile which I always never understood. She used to stand there and chew on betel leaves. Her long nose was adorned with a nose ring. These for enough for me to classify her as a child snatcher who would kidnap me, take out my eyes and make me sit in front of unknown places begging for money.My Mom would start talking to her, laughing at the awkward run I made back to her. She would respond back in sign hand signals and incomprehensible sounds. Mom listened intently to it trying to make out what the rag picker was saying. But my mom didn't know what I knew. The very thing that the woman over there would kidnap me once and take me away from my family.

School had left early that day. I had a whole afternoon to play. Infact I had a mission to accomplish today. Hari had bragged that he climbed up a very big Guava tree and about how he had plucked the ripe Guavas from the topmost branch. Tomorrow I was going to say so about my Cocoa tree. Not some cheap Guava tree. I flung my shoes here and there and ran to the backyard only to have my Mom pick me up by the ears and make me put my things in place before going out.

It stood there in the middle of the whole plantation. Tall and unwelcoming. I scrutinized the size and shape for a moment, planning my route towards the top. Step by step I made my way up. I was half way up when i noticed an unforeseen glitch in the operation. The next branch was two steps up. But a soldier never stops even in the most adverse of situations. I gave a lurch for the branch , hands and legs flying in the air. For a moment I thought I was superman. But the hard fall to the ground brought back reality. A painful cry echoed in the plantation. I tried to get up and successfully failed at the attempt. I heard the sound of rustling leaves behind me. Nothing more could go wrong. The rag picker had seen me. She knew I was helpless. Soon I was going to lose my sight. As she came nearer by fast strides, my efforts could only move me inches. I closed my eyes and prayed to God.

I felt hands picking me up. I closed my eyes tightly, I would give a fight till I last. I could stand upright now as blood started flowing normally through my legs. I started to fight back pulling her towards the house.Then came the painful sting on my ears which made my eyes pop out. I saw my Mom standing there in her Kali avatar. There was never a happier sight for me. Mom... I looked back, the rag picker stood a few feet back with the same mysterious smile on her face. She said something to Mom and went back to the heap of wood she had collected.

I got scolded all the way back to the house. It never sounded sweeter. Only I knew of the narrow escape I had. As for the cocoa plantation , never again. Danger lurks even there.

THIS IS A PARTIAL WORK OF FICTION

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Change

noreply@blogger.com (Rahul Nair) — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 06:27:35 PDT

photo by h.koppdelaney on Flickr

I wanted to stay till everyone left.

To see everyone off,

To wish a very good bye,

Before I start on this journey of mine.
But life isn't that way, Is it? Always bereft.

Every single laugh

Canceled out by a cry,

Negating all positives with the pass of time.

It is never easy, being Change's subject.

The heaviness of loss,

The ebbing of joy,
Desperate attempts to foil Fate's design.

Now my name is on the rolls,

And I hear him knocking at my door.....

Its a reflection back on my life.. Change has come many at times and I have been forced to move on... So heres my thoughts on that in words...

Status : Missing friends  back at Bangalore....

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elle rêvait d'amour

noreply@blogger.com (Rahul Nair) — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 19:13:50 PDT

By pincel3d on deviant art

An empty reflection in the mirror,

Of Twenty and hundred pounds.

I, the worthless wayside whore,

Had her dreams for a day crowned.

That moment was Chance's child,
Whom Fate did father wrong.
A day to spend,a night to dine,
Nothing more - a request queerly odd.

A day we spent in eternal bliss,
A day together, forever remembered.
Helios' chariots gave way for Selene's grace,
He bid his fare and in the shadows retreated.

Never made love in a way as such,
Hearts embraced and flesh withdrawn.
Never made love in a way as such,
In Passion's triumph, lust overthrown.

I know its strange

And the feeling stranger.

But I can't explain how I felt

When I made love with the stranger.

An empty reflection in the mirror,

Of Twenty and hundred pounds.

I, the worthless wayside whore,

Had her dreams for a day crowned.

[ I tried my best to capture a story i had in my mind as a short poem. I hope you guys got the story... :) .

The title is in french - elle rêvait d'amour, which means - She dreamed of love.

Penkodi is taking french lessons, that inspired me to keep the title in french.

For the record, google translate is my tutor. ;) :)) ]

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I forgot to say , Thank You!

noreply@blogger.com (Rahul Nair) — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 03:59:08 PDT

Photo By h-k-d

The night was new. I walked out of the air conditioned hotel lobby. A blast of hot air caught my face.The air was annoyingly warm. I ran a hand through my hair as I waited admist the shimmering lights of Chennai's traffic for an auto. Chennai - the city where you get ripped by the autowallah's, fried by the sun and interrogated by foriegners. But I was happy. The interrogation was a success and I had been granted a Visa to the USA.

I paid the auto wallah 80 rupees for a 50 Rs. ride and finally arrived at the train station. I found him at the station waiting for me. We had a lot of laughs and shared the latest gossip of old batch mates from college.The clock tower at the station seemed not amused at our happiness. It didn't even bother to stop time for us. We parted again, sure that the next meeting was a long time to come.At the stroke of 10 the train started moving. Just half an hour late of schedule.

I located my berth in the three tier AC compartment. God was Cruel. No girls, again !!

I shared space with two guys and an elderly couple. One of the guys was a software engineer, I guessed as I saw the laptop bag. The other guy started a conversation with me. He was a soldier going to Bangalore for NSG commando training. We had a small talk going till he got a call from home. I couldn't help but eavesdrop on the conversation. It was about how thin he had gotten for his pants, how tall his sister had got and about the dinner they were having. I dusted up old memories off cobwebs and laid them before me. Nowadays I run out of topics to talk to mom, the only topic is how much my pant size had increased owing to the software belly.

I noticed the old lady in front of me smiling as well. What would she have been thinking? The calls from her son who is a soul lost software engineer in Bangalore now? I don't know. I didn't ask. I just know we were both glad to have eavesdropped on the conversation.

I don't know what could have made me pay attention to the two uninteresting old people before me. It was some kind of a strong passion they had that made me look up with curiosity. A few minutes of watching them and I felt I had seen magic. That was the most grateful moment I had that day, this year or may be in years to come. It made me change my perspective. I watched the old man as he gently prepared the bed for his wife, folding the blanket at the edges so that she wouldn't feel the cold. He took out her medicines and gave her water. He took out her sandals from beneath the berth. He did everything for her and she didn't even need to utter a word during the course of that very long 10 minutes. I was amazed. I wanted to feel what it would feel like to be the old man. How it would feel to grow old together. To experience the happiness and affection he is enjoying. It made me want to live that long; one thought I had dismissed long ago. I used to think I wouldn't want to see myself old. That 10 minutes had changed everything.

The night had grown old. A blast of cold air struck me from the vent above as I lay down to sleep. Some moments which made me smile. Some, I won't forget for a long time.

link : read about kittu's experience on train. some people have all the luck.

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Status :been doing a lot of travel lately- weddings, treks, outings..
Went on an awesome trek to saurkundi pass. the photos page is updated with pics.

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The Sound Of Rain

noreply@blogger.com (Rahul Nair) — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 23:34:25 PDT

[Cafe Writing March April Project : http://www.cafewriting.com/2009/03/marchapril-2009-project-in-the-garden/

Option One : Poetry

Weather means more when you have a garden. There’s nothing like listening to a shower and thinking how it is soaking in around your green beans.

~Marcelene Cox

Using the quotation above as your inspiration, write a poem (any form is fine) about weather meaning more.]

[Photo By : wGGta on Flickr]

Splattery Splat Splattery Spalt,

The rain drops drummed on the window pane.

The sun and clouds in mortal fight,

No Longer scorched the soil remains.

Croakery Croak Croakery Croak,

the big green frog in my garden cries.

Pussycat dear from his noon nap woke,

the time is here to mince more mice.

Rickety Rock Rickety rock,

Under my burden the wooden chair grunts.

And a mug of cream and coffee thick,

Would you wish or anymore want?

Screakery Squeak Screakery Squeak,

I hear the hinge on the farmhouse door.

A howling wind unabated seeks

To devour the silent summer whole.

Hootery Hoot Hootery Hoot,

the brown old barn owl chides.

Oh!! Now I remember I have to glue,

The leak in the barn where he hides.

Splat,Croak,Rock ,Squeak and hoot,

together they play a lovely band,

A tune which soothes

A tune with life
A tune of joy with hope unbound.

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Pic of the Month - March 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Rahul Nair) — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 23:34:25 PDT

This was taken in Bylekuppe [WIKI]

It is the second largest Tibetan settlement outside Tibet.

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Wish Upon A Falling Star

noreply@blogger.com (Rahul Nair) — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 23:34:25 PDT

[This lovely piece of art is by Julianne . See it on Flickr]

I wish i could see her every night,

Every day in every sight.
So stare, and stare would I,
Eyes fixed on a cloudless sky.

I wish that she would dance,

She would fly in a graceful stance.

A silky gown she would wear,

And give the sky a shiny scar to bear.

I wish i could hold her hands,

Hold her close and hold her tight,

Embrace her into a lovely waltz,

Which would even the heavens exalt.

I wish I could survive,

Could dream and could stay alive,

In hope of the day I would unite

With my ever eluding woman of light.

*****

[

I am sure most of you haven't any clue as to what i am rhyming about.

The story goes like this. I have never seen a falling star in my life (so uncool, i KNOW!!). This attempt at a poem is for the lady of my life whoever she might be and wherever she might be, because I haven't seen her either. So I thought it might be appropriate to compare her with a falling star, neither of whom have met in my life. And I wish upon a falling star (some star ought to be falling at some place!! :) ) that I the day I see a falling star, its a sign that I meet my lady as well. So, please do pray that I do see a falling star. I am in no hurry, so you can take your time to include it in the list of things that you will be asking God.

]

[see this awesome pic by Sandeep.]

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Finally Revealing : My Secret Identity

noreply@blogger.com (Rahul Nair) — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 23:34:25 PDT

Dark Forces and Evil Creatures..
BEWARE
(that "beware" goes to the moral police as well)

Here he comes to scratch your back..
Your Friendly Neighborhood
Mysterious Splintery Splinter..

[Enjoyed a lot making myself a hero. Try for yourself @ The Hero Factory ]

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All I Wanted To Know !

noreply@blogger.com (Rahul Nair) — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 23:34:25 PDT

[Photo By : Midiman]

Being an inquisitive 9 year old, I was always confused about the concept of heaven and hell. If both existed why couldn't we see it? How will I know in advance where I will go? And can we come back to earth if we want to sometimes, like Mahabali does once in a year Or is that only for privileged persons and VVIPs? I knew a person who had the answer for it all, Ammoomma. She knew everything. She knew how Vamanan had killed Mahabali. So logically she ought to know how it was at hell and heaven. So I decided to ask the knowledgeable one.

Ammomma was sitting on the portico singing her bhajans as she always does in the evening. There was a light breeze outside. The hibiscus leaves rustled. Its flowers had just been sacrificed in the puja room.The light jasmine fragrance of burning incense floated in the air. I went and laid my head on Ammoomma's lap.

'Ammomme... Ammmomme... Ee swargavum narakvum evideya?' (where is heaven and hell?) 'Where will I go when I die?'

'So Appumon, wants to hear about heaven and hell. Let me tell you a story',

And she started telling a fable about the man who lived without hurting a living thing in his life. But he was not admitted in heaven because of his arrogance and bad boy attitude. She told me that the heavens where in the sky very far away from what our eyes could see and that hell was deep underground.

'Wow!! like I didn't know that before', I thought. Just wasted my time asking her. I should find out myself.

Finally after hours of thinking. I came upon a great plan. I will die and then I will know where I will go. Then I will enter into a pact with the Gatekeeper and get a parole to earth every now and then. So firmly focusing on the idea. I decided to die.The hard part was how to die. I didn't want it to be painful.

Lorry - unchecked (no body left if I want to come back on parole),

hanging - unchecked (won't look good when photo comes),

Vein Cutting- No (Out of fashion);

Yes, that's it! I will drown myself. I will be taking a bath and dying at the same time. And drinking water has not been painful so far and thus I will have a great death.

So I decided to die when father was bathing, mom was cleaning the kitchen and ammomma was snoring. And the place where I drown, will be our fish pond. I has fallen into it accidentally three years back and had almost drowned and my Dad had saved me. I was still afraid of the place that I never used to go near it.

The time at last dawned when father was bathing, mom was cleaning the kitchen and amoomma was snoring. I made way quietly outside. I made sure I walked out of the lights so that nobody saw me (thank god for spy movies). I reached the edge of the pond. Only eerie silence accompanied me.

Suddenly a sound came from behind. My heart jumped into my mouth. I was convinced that it was a aathma of some poor chap who had drowned her earlier. I turned back. A big mean frog was sitting there watching me with mean, evil eyes. I took a stone and threw at it with the accuracy of Agarkar's attempt at the wickets. The stone bounced off the ground, leaving the frog unhurt and more importantly he was mad.

The frog jumped towards me and sat on my leg...

'AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH', CROACK.. CROACK... SPLASH... BLUM...

I expected the gloominess to settle soon. That's when I realized I could breathe under water. I opened my eyes and saw that I was standing with the water till my chest. Sure I had grown fast in three years and I had not considered my rate of growth over time. Darn .. I was always bad at maths.

I could see the damn frog swimming to the shore. @##$@#$%$% FROG

I climbed out of the pond and decide to end my expeditions for the night. I limped to the house, as I had hurt my leg on a rock while falling. I entered the nice clean house with white flooring, drenched in water , mud on my feet and lilies on my head.

At first sight Mom got afraid on seeing me and let out a faint scream. After my reassurance she sat down. By the time Dad had come down and Ammomma was standing there in shock.

Dad finally asked me what had happened after a few moments of deadly silence. I opened my mouth to say that I had gone to die, when my super intelligent brain interrupted the conversation considering all the factors and deciding that I would be grounded for life if I said so.

The tongue automatically twisted the other way and said, 'I got afraid when a frog jumped at me and I fell into the pond'. My Face put on the crying, innocent expression.

The expression didn't have any effect on Mom. She pinched me hard on my arm. 'Aaaaaaaaa...', I went on like a broken CD player. The house was filled with my song and Mom had gone all guns blazing as to who told me to go to the pond at this time.

It was good that Dad thought I have had enough for one day and broke the connection between my Moms fingers and my throbbing arm. Mom didn't allow me into the room. I had to take bath in the tap outside the house in the cold, with a twitching arm and an injured leg.

Next morning I woke up with a cold. The good thing was that I didn't have to go to school and I got enough time to think over the dying thing. Dying was never a bright idea, I finally decided. I would never be able to taste these pazhampori's (banana bajji) that Mom makes if I die. I had got my reason. And the confusion over heaven and hell can wait for another 80 years or so. :)

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How to wield Success at the GATE

noreply@blogger.com (Rahul Nair) — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 23:34:25 PDT

[Image Courtesy: http://www.istockphoto.com]

This post was written by me successfully during the GATE exam 2009.

Three hours of peace from the noisy life of Bangalore, just for a cost of Rs.1000/-.Apply now!!!

Waking up early on a Sunday morning is a bad sign. Waking up on a Sunday morning after a party with friends the previous night to write an exam -- the worst sign. The alarm played the perfect part of the dream destroyer that morning as well. After one hour of relentless ringing I had to give up to the irritating power of Evanescence's wake me up inside ...

I had got ready to leave home but I had one more task to complete before I could be there for the exam. I had to find the way to the exam center. I was able to reach the holy place, a well 1 hour 15 minutes before time, with lot of help from blore's own Auto bhaiyyas. I thought i would be the one to reach there first. But i was greeted by the faces of those guys who were going to have more beautiful wives and cars than me; the guys with the thick glasses and the greasy hair- the geeks. It was like walking into the sets of Attack of the Nerds. Amidst the ruckus created by the geeks and other semi interested students and engineers, I made my way to the small shop on the other side for my breakfast. Finally after a long time of a guy came and commanded the throng of people to go in and be seated inside.

It was a truly nostalgic feeling. Like a blast from the past. Memories of ye old University exams.. Haha.. Many of them were prepared or at least looked like they were. I knew that the only things I was going to answer were the questions on the right side. These questions were like, name, roll number and a number of such tough questions. But they didn't mention anywhere about how much marks each of those questions carried.

Anyway i went about answering all those questions when I saw a guy come in with a big bottle of water. Oh!! man.. prepared like anything. I should have brought pop corn. But I wasn't sure whether eatables were allowed in the exam hall. :( The technical questions were pretty easy. I could answer at least 7 of them correctly. which is a big achievement ( applause). I answered a total of 48/60. I didn't want to get the negative marks of the next 12 questions as well ,so, I stopped guessing the answers. The questions were generally categorized into two : those that I knew and those i didn't. But the latter category contained more questions and I am planning to write to the Chairman about the quantity of questions in Category 2.

In the meantime the guy who had come with the water had almost finished his bottle and from his face I could notice that he seriously needed to take a leak. Poor Guy..

I finished the exam in record time. But the Hall ticket said I could not leave before the completion time. So I cross-checked my brilliant answers and waited for one and a half hours before I asked the invigilator(a typical college lecturer) whether i could gracefully take my leave. I think he was invigilating an exam for the first time and the pride could be seen on his face. With the same gracefulness he told me that I would have to wait till the completion of 3 hours. And to think I never even sat through the whole time of any university exam.. OMG!! I was trapped in some other strange time space continuum.

This was the time, in the course of the whole exam, that I had a major dilemma. What will I do for one more hour? I didn't waste time to find the perfect solution. I found the desk a very good place to get the rest of the Sunday morning sleep. And sleep I did for half an hour. A delightful slumber. I woke up fast in fear, lest I should talk in my sleep and give away those brilliant answers that I had given.

Then I saw the desk. Aha! Nothing more interesting than to read the comments on the, long deprived of paint ,desk. And that too the back bench. :D

The guy who sat at my place was a rap fan (snoop dog and shaggy were the decorators of that place). At one time he had been a Shakira fan but he had developed a certain disliking for her. He name was scratched upon with dividers and correction ink so many times, that I had hard time reading that.

'Does love hurt ?' [some body was planning on loving someone]

The aswers were " Love hurts!!!' [he shouldn't have been so outright]

"I dunno. Please find out" [ i liked this one :)]

Then a series of four letter words.

Another guy had professed his love on the wood :

Mental Chandan*** loves Sharmila... *** [confessions of a self proclaimed crack or the work of his best friends . :)]

The other things were lots of Swastika symbols and random questions and answers.

Soon losing interest in them, I waited for the final fifteen minutes to go by. It was pure torture. I never thought 15 minutes would be so long. And finally the hammer struck the gong and I was free again. I walked out of the college gate passing the excited and nervous faces of the geeks and other unimportant people. That was the only gate i think i could have passed with so much of preparation.

Atlast an end to the trauma of whether I should go for higher studies or not. Then there is always next year... ;)

*** Original names cannot be given out due to security risks to the author. And Chandan; Yes, I took revenge on you for taking my name in vain.

Dad : If you are reading this; This is not my story but of some guy who went to a Gate exam without studying. How can he do that?

Status : Checking my GATE answers... who knows.. may be I got all 48 right. ;) and will be on my way to an IIT before you know it.

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The 30 Questions (Tag)

noreply@blogger.com (Rahul Nair) — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 23:34:25 PDT

[Photo Coutesy : jamuraa]

I got this tag this Maverrick who got it from Sailor who got it from Sneha.

[I hope the tag is not an Evil plan by some Evil Warlord to get information about me so that he can overpower me and take over the world].

Here goes..

1)What is your occupation?

I am a central goverment employee*.

*Conditions Apply

( Psst. I heard there is no value in the marriage market for ~~Software engineers~~. We are a depreciating asset now.)

2)What colour are your socks now?

Never ask a bachelor about his socks >:-

3)What are you listening to now?

I'm hearing Bhumika's voice on the phone persuading me to go to innovative film city this weekend.

4)What was the last thing you ate?

Lemme see:

Wheat flour, (UN)cooked on a flat or slightly concave iron griddle and

Dark yellow colour potato, tomato and onion paste sprinkled with garlic seasoning..

For those illiterate guys, lets say : Roti and aloo curry from the cafeteria.

5)Can you drive a stick shift?

Sorry,I do not know golf. ;)

[searches on Wiki what a stick shift is..]

hmph!!! a vehicle with manual transmission.

Why cant the question be :

Can you drive a vehicle where you have to change the gear manually?

[You don't know to how much extent my wild imagination went to derive the meaning of a STICK SHIFT]

Answer : I can drive and I am a pretty cool driver, but expensive. Last time I drove it cost me around 10,000 bucks.

The back of a stick shift bus came and hit the front of my stick shift car. Not my mistake. Why was the back of the bus parked there?

Indians should be more aware and careful while driving stick shifts . I mean who gave these bus drivers liscence to drive a stick shift.

6)Last person you spoke to on phone?

Salma..

You know.. Salma Hayek..

See I knew you wouldn't believe.

I have an alternate answer ready for those who didn't believe that : the Airtel Broadband Service Guy!

7)Do you like the person who sent you this?

I know Chandan sent this so that he could make me say I like him.

Not the type you think I am, man. aaargh...

8)How old are you today?

Old enough (and 6 years extra) to legally do the FOUR LETTER WORD.. V.O.T.E.

9)What is your favourite sport to watch on TV?

Womens Lawn Tennis. ;)

10)What are your favourite drinks?

Tender Coconut Water :)

11)Have you ever dyed your hair ?

How old do you think I am, 60?

12)Favourite food?

Choru ( kerala rice ) with theeyal (super taty curry from kerala) and fish fry , fish curry and a little chicken and a little bit of prawns and a bit of squids and..

13)Last movie watched?

Why did u have to put such a question in when I am trying to forget the last movie

I watched? BTW its Revolutionary Road.. ( strong sense of sleepiness takes over!!!)

14)Favourite day of the year?

Salary Day.. :)

15)How do you vent out your anger?

I once told my dad I wanted a missile launcher for my birthday. I wanted to try it on the School's official Bully. My dad being a spoil sport didn't get me one.

So my only source of comfort has been my innocent pillow which gets beaten up when I really feel like beating the shit out of someone.

16)Favourite toy as a child?

The neighbour's dog. [ Evil grin on face now ]

17)Favourite season?

The Monsoon. Being a Keralite you will never love any other season.

Esp. when there is a road block and we didnt need to go to school. :)

But there is something special in the air during monsoon in Kerala.

[and its not smell of the sewage overflowing... grr]

18)Do you want your friends to email you?

Yes. Esp. those which say - if you dont forward you will be cursed with constipation for 7 years,7 months and 7 days. In my humble opinion the recession has been caused by people who haven't forwarded such mails and have got the curse of the Email-Server-Gods over our Software Fraternity.

19)When was the last time you cried?

When Diana ,my doggy, the love of my life, died :'(

20)What is on the floor of your closet?

My old underwears, from the time I was in eigth grade, till now.

aaah.. Memories...

21)Who is the friend you have had the longest?

Abhijit : around 13 years now and he still hasn't killed me.

A great achievement, Abhijit.
The Association of Men with Friends who are Unbearable(AMEN. F.U.) bestows the life time achievement award upon you.

22)What did you do last night?

Lemme see now...

Surya,Shanthi,Anushka, bed....

ok...I got it.. I got it..

I went home and tested our new cable connection. Watched Surya Tv (one of the most viewed

malayalam channels). Then I went to Shanthi Sagar for dinner. Then I came back and

saw Anushka's dance class on MTV. Then I went to bed.

23)What are you most afraid of?

Me ? Afraid?

You got to be kidding?

Well...Except if you are not kidding about them slimy,long, reptiles called snakes.

24)Plain,cheese or spicy hamburger?

Cheese.

25)Favourite dog breed?

Dachshund

(Brut,Buddy... I miss you.. Snifff...Sniff.. Chettan (bro) will come back home in a couple of months..)

26)Favorite day of the week?

Yesterday. I always wait for it to come fast.

27)How many states have you lived in?

Two K's:

Kerala and Karnataka.

[But east or west Kerala is the best]

28)Diamond or pearl?

Niether. I am broke, more broke than a church mouse.

29)What is your wish for this new year?

I hope I will be able to go Onsite and clear all my credit card bills.

Amen.

30)New year resolutions?

- Go to office early

- Continue writing Diary

- Read all the books I have bought before buying another one.

- Never follow my Dad's advice on what kind of haircut I should get.

- Call Mom every other day.

I think I am supposed to tag some one else. I tag Clueless and Tony. So Clueless and Tony, if you happen to read this post then there is a tag waiting for you. Any one else who reads this post can also take up the tag.

I am looking forward to reading your 30 Q&As :)

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From Olympics To Obama.

noreply@blogger.com (Rahul Nair) — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 23:34:25 PDT

[Photo by : aloshbennett ]

The year 2008 was a year for news about Olympics ,Mumbai and Obama. In Olympics it was of course a great year for India. And there was a good reason for the papers to celebrate the crowning of the three young men at the Beijing Olympics. But Beijing was also a photographers paradise. The most hyped and most ceremonious Olympic meet yet, there were enough photos available to the papers to fill all their pages.
But with in a months time Olympics lost its charm in the papers, even though Bindraji gets a mention here and there and in TV Ads.

Teacher: Who won the bronze In Olympic wrestling for India?
Appu : mmmm... i know... iknow.. i know... The Great Khali

Now that Olympics is over and none of the athletes are making news, the best knowledge people would have of wrestling would be of unusually tall men with loads of meat on their body shaped like bricks.

Then came the Mumbai tragedy. Which was a jolt to India, Indian politics, Media, and the security forces. Many heroes were made and many innocents slain. Two months have passed and still nothing is happening. Pakistan is still playing Tom,Dick and Harry. Lets hope everything goes well and we get the bastards!!

2008 was also the time for Obama to do his thing. Every little kid on the block was chanting Obama mantras. The papers had nothing but how Obama dressed ,how Obama ate and how Obama bathed!!! Michelle Obama also got a couple of headlines when the papers didn't know what else to write about Obama.

Teacher : Who is the President Of India?
Appu : Oh Boy! Oh Boy! I know this too .. Obama!!
[Teacher Frowns]
Appu : Oh!! He is then the president of the world, is he?

Indians who had never seen an oath taking of the Prime Minister Of India or the President would have been swarming in front of the T.V. to see the latest news sensation, Barack Obama. Three days of non stop entertainment and celebration by the TV channels ; OBAMA LIVE!!!!.
Our PM's and Prez's should also think of having those IPL girls around during their swearing in. I mean, it makes things more colourful and of course interesting.

Obama even had a comic book released. He is reeling in supporters by such publicity. Why can't Manmohan Singh get a comic? If Obama was a side kick to spider man our PM sould be the hero.

Jokes apart. Let us pray for Mr. Manmohan Singh's speedy recovery.

I can't predict for how long the papers will continue the Obama saga. They are writing everything that falls from his mouth, even the sneezes(I am sure that at least TOI publishes that). Till then lets wait for his swimsuit calender to come out. If all this can happen then why not a calender.

Hoping that the media in 2009 get reasons to share only good stuff. No terrorists, No hurricanes,No wars and India Rising!!!

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A Final Good-Bye

noreply@blogger.com (Rahul Nair) — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 23:34:25 PDT

The rain had passed. The air was filled with sweet music. The music of water drops falling into puddles. It was on such a day 4 years back that I had lost Sophie. If only she was here with me. My heart began filling with heaviness. My eyes blurred. The heaviness was a sleep inducer. I would soon become tired and fall asleep. My ears received the sounds of outside as though it was a healer. It was like nature was sympathizing with me.

I felt a palm on my hands. A gentle voice called me. 'Appacha..'. I could be dreaming. I opened my eyes and saw my son looking at me with gentle eyes. The tears came back. Tears, a companion all along the way, in your sorrows and joys.

'My Son, I thought you wouldn't come this year. I didn't see any letters, i thought...'
'Appacha, how can I forget. You know how hard it is for me to leave you alone here'.
I was so happy, the heaviness i felt before was gone.
'Where are the kids?', i asked
'They are not coming...', he said with a tinge of sadness in his words.' I came to take you with me appacha.. Whatever you say i am not going to leave you alone here...'
I was tired, I was missing my family. May be it is time for me to stop being lonely and go with my son. He loves me a lot. I shouldn't let him down.
'Who told I am going to ask a excuse? I am coming with you.' , I said my heart filling with all those nice feelings you get when you are happy and excited.
' I will come back tomorrow morning Appacha... I have some more things to sort out before we leave here.'

He hugged me as he had never before. I hugged him as though it was the first day that I had laid my eyes on him. I looked back as he left. I didn't feel the heaviness anymore. It was like I was free from all burden. I waited for the next day in anticipation. I packed all those things I thought was important.I couldn't sleep well that night. I got up early and waited for him.

He came as promised. We visited Sophie's resting place. I made of cup of tea for him. Then I lighted a candle in front of Virgin Mary's Idol as we waited to leave.

A new day dawned on the little village. The rain still remained to give the nostalgic effect of the yesteryears. The green paddy fields and the occasional flock of birds flying for shelter. The air filled with the smell of the soil. Everything was perfect except for the news entrusted with James and Annamma. They walked under a single umbrella holding each other. Neither of them were able to accept it till now. Their childhood friend John had met with an accident in the United States and had lost the battle for his life after one day.They were among the few people who had been close to John and his family. They had to deliver the bad news.

They approached the house where John's father led a lonely life. He had been stubborn with John on this matter. He couldn't even think of leaving his house and his village where all his memories resided. James and Anaamma used to come and give him company in some of the evenings. But today they carried a bad news. They were not sure how to break it to him.They stood on the steps and looked at each other. James nodded firmly, took hold of Annamma's hand and knocked on the door.

'Appacha...', they called. They all called him Appacha. The door was open. They went in. They saw a candle flickering before the idol of the Virgin. Two cups of tea on the teapoy and appachan reclining peacefully on the arm chair. James didn't want to break the peace in the room.

' Appacha..', He gently called. 'Appacha..', he called more firmily. Still he didnt get any reponse.. Annamma was about to break into tears.

I woke up hearing my name called. It was Jameskutty. Johnny's friend.
'He came to take me..'.
' Who Appacha.. ?' asked James
'Johnny, who else? you didn't see him? He was here. I must have dozed off. Don't tell me he hasn't come to meet you. He wouldn't have got time. He was running around with all the work to take me with him.'
Annamma started crying. James couldn't control her.
' Is something wrong Jameskutty? '.
James was silent for a moment. It seemed like he was mustering up all his courage to tell me something.
'Appacha.. There is some really bad news. John had an accident and succumbed to his wounds today morning.'
I didn't believe one bit of what James said. Making fun of me like this.
' I know you planned this with Johnnykutty.. you brats... same as old days eh.. Still childish..'
'No Appacha.. You have to believe us.' James told me.

It was not possible for him to die. He hadn't taken me with him. He will come back.
'Appacha.. Susie and the children will arrive tomorrow with the body. We will do all arrangements for the funeral.'

'So you are not joking... you are not joking... How could he leave me alone?'

I was lonely again. As i had been before. Sophie and Johnny gone. My grandchildren the only reason i can give for my existence. I will go back to my lonely life again. No more letters. No more yearning of what good news he has to say.

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Happy New Year!!

noreply@blogger.com (Rahul Nair) — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 23:34:25 PDT

Happy New Year to all of you guys out there. I know its way too "early" to wish you a happy new year but i was a bit indisposed to write blog posts. I hope all of you are holding on tight to your resolutions. As for my resolutions I am thinking of Bidding them a final Good bye. But I have followed them till today. Its pretty hard having a list of resolutions. A list whose beginning you forget by the time you reach the end.

As for blogging in the new year. I hope to continue blogging. And as recession sets in i think may be I have a chance to be a full time blogger. :)

All the best to you. May God Bless you.

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House No.5, Palace Gardens

noreply@blogger.com (Rahul Nair) — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 23:34:25 PDT

7th October 2008, A Suburb in Kerala

'Chechi, you should be really careful. The stars don't favor those who live in this house.', Saraswati said as she escorted Anita through the garden.
'What do you do, Chechi?'
' I am a writer, Saraswati.'
' Do you write news in the newspapers?'
' No, I write books, novels..'
'You write stories,Chechi?', Saraswati asked with amazement.
'Yes I do Sarasu'
' then someday if you are free, can you come home and tell munna some stories. He always complains that i do not know any stories. How would I know? I haven't even gone to school..'
'Sure sarasu, one day for sure.', Anita said as Saraswati opened the door.

'how long are you going to stay here ?'
'I wanted a place to write my next novel. After it is complete I might leave.'
'Are you married?'
'You sure do have a lot of questions. Let me sit down for a while and settle down in this house. Then I will answer all the questions you have.' , Anita said suppressing a laugh.

Anita stood at the balcony, Saraswati's question still ringing in her ears. 'Are you married?'.... It has been just over three months since her divorce from Naren. An arranged marriage. A perfect couple - according to her parents. Everything was fine for two years. Suddenly things started to take a bad shape between them. Naren started accusing her of being mad. Depressed, yes. But mad! He was taking things overboard. She had been having a bad run with her writing, with the newspaper turning down her column , her last book being a total failure and critics accusing her of using a copied idea. The perfect couple could not hold on much longer. Sooner than she thought , Naren moved for divorce. She looked at the wedding ring which she still used to wear. Tears formed in her eyes. But she was not going to break down. The tears vanished as they had come. Her eyes transformed from a sad set to that of determination.

Her career was in a bad state and her life even worse. That was when she got hold of a story from a casual talk she had with a friend. It happened to a friend of a friend in a suburb in Thiruvanathapuram. She and her family had been staying there for over a couple of years, when one day the worst tragedy occurred to them. Her husband fell into a hole dug up for a well. The soil on the sides collapsed burying him underneath. Since then rumours of the haunted house had spread. It seemed the previous two inhabitants had also died in strange circumstances. One of them had drowned in a swimming pool and the other who was in the air force, had died in a plane crash during a routine test flight.

The rumour was that a Sadhu had once come to the house when the owner was residing there. Overwhelmed by the owner’s hospitality he had given a warning to him for his good. He had predicted that the house had a curse on it and that the people staying in the house would die by the five elements. The owner being a pious man, took the advice and changed his house. He then gave it out for rent. According to the Sadhu's prediction, only two elements remained now : fire and space.

Anita sensed a story there. She had everything, even a ending, which she got the instant she heard the story. Only the gaps and details in the story remained. And here she was at House No. 5, Palace Gardens, in search of her story. She had hired the same maid who was there previously, Saraswati. She would be able to throw more light and of course she had a part to play in the story.

Anita's next few weeks were spent with the locals. In the evenings she used to go to the beach to view the sunset. It gave her immense pleasure, relief, and confidence. In the nights she would collect together all the information she gathered and put together her story.

She hadn't found anything unusual about the house herself. It was a splendid house. She had began to like it. But she couldn't stay there for long; her novel was approaching its end. Only one person's account was remaining, Chadran , the owner. After that she could mail the script to her publisher. Finally the last sunday of November was near.

December 8th 2008

“Her book is due release today and has blown away all records according to the publishers.
The police are confirming that it is an accident. Sources have also confirmed that the cause of the explosion was a leakage in cooking gas. Although nothing much of a body could be recovered,her wedding ring and other jewellery were recovered from the site. Police are investigating the missing of the maid, Sarawati. Chandran the owner of the house had testified earlier that Anita had been at his house last Sunday and that she was very concerned about Saraswati's mental health. Ramachandran was told by Anita that Saraswati had started mumblings strange things and did not seem herself during most of the time. The Police had made a statement yesterday that they had got no link connecting Sarawati to the event.... " , the TV blared in the hotel suite .

"Goood... But not a perfect ending as in my book!! '
"I wouldn't be getting any royalties but I bet my book will be a hit. That should silence those critics...", Anita felt relief. It had been months since she had the feeling of relief and contentment.
'Forgive me Sarawati, but I had to do it.'

August 20th, 2009

'I am a scientist, I don't believe in such superstitions.'
'Just a good word to be careful around here sir.’ said the taxi driver as he drove away leaving Rajeev at the gates. Rajeev settled in quickly. He loved the house. He had bought the house for cheap for a superstitious owner who was desperate to sell it off.

After a week Rajeev became acquainted to the less than brave comments of his friends and neighbors. He was a scientist after all and he didn’t care. He stood at the balcony feeling the light breeze hitting his face. He had taken couple of weeks off. A much needed vacation after the long tiring work on Chandrayaan, India's first moon mission. The phone's ring broke the peace in the house. Rajeev picked it up.
'Hello, Rajeev'
'Yes'
'This is George here..'
'Yes sir'
'There is great news. You have been selected for India's first man mission for the moon....'

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