BEFORE HE TOOK HIS last breath, Ludwig van Beethoven said, “Friends applaud, the comedy is finished.” Sir Winston Churchill, before falling into a coma murmured, “I’m bored with it all.” And facing his assassin Mario Teran, a Bolivian soldier, Ernesto “Che” Guevara uttered, “I know you have come to kill me. Shoot coward, you are only going to kill a man.” Locally, how could showbiz people forget the suicide note of ‘80s bold star Stella Strada? Her final words? “This is a crazy planets!”

As a post-Halloween post, here’s an updated version of my 2007 and 2008 article titled…

Top 20 Last Words and Deathbed Statements of Local Political Figures and Celebrities

No. 20: Boy Abunda: “Now na!”

No. 19: Madam Auring: “Nakikita ko, nararamdaman ko, hahaba pa ang aking buhay.” (Then, she dies.)

No. 18: DILG Sec. Ronaldo Puno: “I’m fed up with life!”

No. 17: Annabelle Rama: “Dung, malakas ang kutob ku dung, nilason ako ni Wilma Galvanti dung!”

No. 16: Kris Aquino: “Hay naku Boy, sabi mo sabay tayo? Nag-promise ka kay Mom, remember? Gosh, kainis ka!”

No. 15: Conrado De Quiros: “30.”

No. 14: Sen. Manny Villar: “60.”

No. 13: Sen. Mar Roxas: “Ramdam ko na… ramdam ko na!” (Gasps for air) ‘Tang-i*aaaa! Puwede bang mag-give way na lang ako?”

No. 12: Korina Sanchez: “Ikaw ang minimithi ng aking puso. Ikaw ang napili kong maging kasama at katabi sa buhay. Ipinapangako ko sa ‘yo na ako ay sa ‘yo. Noon, ngayon at bukas, ako’y iyung-iyo… Lord.”

No. 11: Manny Pacquiao: “You know, I am die and I am ready kaya gusto kong ‘pasalamat sa ating mga kababayan at sa Panginoon sa walang sawang pagsupurta sa akin.”

No. 10: Sen. Panfilo Lacson: “Mr. President and distinguished colleagues, before I die, allow me to unmask the real Joseph Ejercito Estrada.”

No. 9: Sen. Lito Lapid: “Puwede bang mamatay na lang? Wala akong inihandang speech eh.”

No. 8: President Arroyo: “God, wala na ba talagang extension?”

No. 7: Sen. Loren Legarda: “I have already made a decision. I am definitely dying with or without a mate by my deathbed.”

No. 6: Defense Sec. Gilbert Teodoro: [See ‘President Arroyo’]

No. 5: Mayor Jejomar Binay: “Sa Makati, libre ang ospital. Sa Makati, libre ang burol. Sa Makati, libre ang libing. Wala akong gagastusin kapag namatay ako sa Makati. Sana, ganito rin sa inyo kapag kayo ang namatay.”

No. 4: Joseph Estrada: “Sinong maysabing hindi ako pwedeng mamatay? Let the people decide! Vox Ernie, Vox Dei. The voice of Manong Maceda is the voice of God.”

No. 3: Sen. Noynoy Aquino: “Hinihiling ko po sa inyo na kung maaari lamang sana ay bigyan n’yo ako ng ilang araw upang makapag-isip at kumunsulta sa Pink Sisters kung dapat na ba akong pumanaw o hindi pa.”

No. 2: Cong. Mikey Arroyo: “O, eto huh! Baka magtaka na naman ang mga investigative reporters at si Tita Winnie Monsod kapag tumaas ang aking net worth sa ipa-file kong Statement of Assets and Liabilities (SALN) next year. Ngayon pa lang sinasabi ko na sa inyo: hindi ill-gotten ‘yan. Galing ‘yan sa magiging abuloy at donasyon kapag namatay ako.”

And the No. 1 deathbed statement of a political figure or celebrity…

Sen. Francis Escudero: “Nais kong ipabatid sa inyong lahat na nagpasya na akong talikuran ang aking pagiging Romano Katoliko dahil naniniwala ako na sinumang nilikha na malapit nang makipagkita sa Panginoong Maykapal ay hindi dapat miyembro o kaanib ng anumang relihiyon, sekta, o kulto upang malaya siyang makapagpasya na siya lang – walang busal sa bibig at walang nagdidikta, alang-alang na rin sa ikakapanatag ng kanyang damdamin at ikaliligtas ng kanyang kaluluwa.”

___________
“With death comes honesty.”
~Salman Rushdie, The Satanic Verses

Personal
I just wanna share my Facebook status (November 3):
“Binigyan kayo ng isang buong taon upang magparehistro ngunit hindi n’yo ginawa. Sa tatlong daan at animnapu’t limang araw na inilaan sa pagpapatala, kinse minutos lamang ang gugugulin n’yo doon. Pero binalewala n’yo ang pagkakataon. Ngayon, may KAPAL PA KAYO NG MUKHA at TIBAY NG SIKMURA na magreklamo dahil inabutan kayo ng deadline? Kung gusto n’yo ng pagbabago, simulan n’yo sa inyong mga sarili. Puñeta!

Elsewhere
Philippine Star’s William Esposo on Erap and GMA [Note: Before you could even accuse me of being self-serving, sige, aamin na ko. Hahaha You’ll find out later why.] Thanks Mr. Chair Wrecker!

Philippine Daily Inquirer’s Conrado De Quiros on Chiz Escudero, Danding Cojuangco, and political parties

Unlike Esposo and De Quiros, Manila Standard Today’s editor in chief Jojo Robles is apparently not a fan of Noynoy Aquino

Note: A couple of readers have emailed me asking the rationale behind Sen. Manny Villar’s “last words.” I’d like to know if you didn’t get it as well. Why did Villar utter, “60?” Leave your guesses at the comments section.

All Saints Day
Millions of Filipinos flocked to cemeteries nationwide in observance of All Saints Day. It’s the time of the year when we remember the departed. There have been some notable deaths over the past 365 days. To name a few, young actor Marky Cielo; film producer Espiridion Laxa; rapper-composer Francis Magalona; former president Corazon Aquino, and Francis Escudero’s political career.

All Saints Day II
Over the weekend, the most number of “celebrity sighting” was reported at the posh Manila Memorial Park in Parañaque City. In close second? In Noynoy Aquino’s new TV ad.

New Pol Ad
Congratulations to the people behind presidential aspirant Noynoy Aquino’s music video – the newest premature political ad on television. It was awesome! The best part of the ad was when Noynoy Aquino was not given any speaking lines.

New Pol Ad II
Presidentil aspirant Noynoy Aquino’s new music video has started airing on television. And everyone agreed: the music video was way better than his track record.

New Pol Ad III
Have you seen the political advertisement of presidential aspirant Noynoy Aquino titled “Hindi Ka Nag-iisa?” Here’s a piece of trivia about that music video: 60 percent of Filipino voters were there!

New Pol Ad IV
Rumors say a big amount of money was spent in creating Noynoy Aquino’s political ad. The amount was so huge, it was even bigger than Danding Cojuangco’s promised financial support for Chiz Escudero.

New Pol Ad V
Have you seen Sen. Noynoy Aquino’s music video titled “Hindi Ka Nag-iisa?” Well, Sen. Manny Villar is coming out with his own music video titled, “Hindi Ka Nagdodoble.”

New Pol Ad VI
Sen. Noynoy Aquino’s new music video titled featured actors, actresses, and Purefoods’ James Yap. Well, Erap is coming out with his own music video too featuring actors, actresses, and Burger King’s Wynne Arboleda!

In Other News…
I wonder what will be the hottest issue this week. But I do remember last week’s biggest news: “Another man left Loren Legarda for good.”

Loren’s Running Mate?
Sen. Loren Legarda says she will announce her presidential running mate in two weeks. Actually, she wanted to make the announcement tomorrow. However, she opted to postpone it until the second week of November… after getting assurance from Manny Villar that he wouldn’t bolt the Nacionalista Party.
___________
“Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident, and riches take wings. Only one thing endures and that is character.”
~Horace Greeley

Survey Says
Without a party, should Sen. Francis Escudero pursue his presidential bid?
SURE, Why not?: 13%
NO, Sa 2016 na lang siya: 40%
Wala akong pakialam 47%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

This video comically portrays a confronting conversation that some Asian youth experience. Where the Asian child gets a scolding because they choose not to pursue a typical white collar job.

These events may be attributed to realities Asian parents seen in their home country (rice field lecture), as well as realities they see today. Where people that live comfortable lives are white collar workers. Then blue collar workers tend to be poorly provided.

Also, this parental behavior could be the echoing shadow of the Chinese Imperial Examination System. In late Imperial China, people regardless of social class were able to get a comfortable life working in the government. Achieving this meant getting the highest marks in a government standardized exam. As a side note, a tutor commonly prepared people for this exam.

In the end, this may not be a problem for all Asian families. As socially alert Asian parents would handle this situation constructively. Where they can determine if their child has a sound plan different from their own. Or determine if their child has an unrealistic approach to life.

Thanks Anthony!

This is the original draft of Sen. Francis Escudero’s speech delivered at Club Filipino last Wednesday morning. A copy was sent to The Professional Heckler by a reliable source who requested anonymity.

“Maraming salamat po sa lahat ng taong nandito lalung-lalo sa mga kababayan kong Bicolano sa walang pag-aatubiling pagtungo sa gusaling nasa latitude 14° 36′ 14″ Hilaga ng Equator at longitude 121° 2′ 56″ Silangan ng Prime Meridian sa Mapa ng Maynila, na mas kilala rin sa pangalang Club Filipino.

Nais ko pong ipabatid sa inyo na ako ay nagpaalam na at nag-resign na bilang miyembro ng Nationalist People’s Coalition o NPC, ang partidong itinatag ni Ginoong Eduardo ‘Danding’ Cojuangco ang ninong namin sa kasal ng aking asawang si Cristine, at founder ng NPC na aking kinaaniban sa nakalipas na labing-isang taon ng aking pagiging pulitiko sa Mataas na Kapulungan man ng Kongreso na kung tawagin natin ay Senado o sa Mababang Kapulungan ng Kongreso bilang kinatawan ng lalawigan ng Sorsogon na walang kahihiyang nanguna sa tangka ngunit bigong pagpapatalsik sa noo’y Chief Justice na si Hilario Davide katulong ang noo’y kongresista at paboritong pamangkin ni Ginoong Cojuangco na ngayo’y kalihim ng tanggulang pambansa na nag-aambisyon ding maging pangulo ng Pilipinas na si Gilbert “Gibo” Teodoro.

Sinuman pong nagpa-planong tumakbo bilang pangulo, dapat wala pong partidong kinabibilangan, NPC, LP NP, Lakas, Kampi, LAMMPP, PDP-Laban, Magdiwang, Magdalo, Bayan Muna, Akbayan, Migrante, Anakpawis, Sanlakas, Lapiang Manggagawa, Alyansa ng mga Sabungero, Ang Ladlad, 1-UTAK, SMILE, SAMASA, ISA, STAND-UP, KAISA, ALYANSA, (FYI: Mga political parties ‘yan sa UP), Sigue-Sigue, OXO, Sputnik, Ativan Gang, o ano pa man.

Ang dapat na partidong kinabibilangan ng sinumang nagpa-planong tumakbo, dapat po Pilipinas. At lahat ng mga ka-partido niya dapat lahat din Pilipino. Bata man o matanda, babae o lalake, mayaman o mahirap, nakapag-aral o hindi, dilaw man o pula ang kulay, binoto ka man o hindi, maka-Dos man o Maka-Siyete, Globe man o Smart o Sun kapag nagtitipid, tuli man o supot, bakla man o lesbiyana, out man o discreet, bisexual man o straight-tripper, top man o bottom, lights off o lights on, dapat ituring mo ng pantay o pareho dahil kung hindi, baka magkaroon ng kaguluhan sa Pilipinas na mas lalong magpapahirap sa milyun-milyon nating kababayan at ‘yun ang hinding-hindi ko kayang tanggapin bilang lingkod-bayan na nagnanais ng bagong pagbabago sa ating bansa na matatagpuan sa Timog Silangang Asya at nasa tinatawag na Pacific Ring of Fire kung saan madalas magkaroon ng lindol na hindi naman kayang ipredict kahit ng Philippine Institute of Volcanology and Seismology na dating pinamumunuan ng namayapang si Raymundo Punongbayan.

Nagbitiw po ako dahil sa tatlong kadahilanan na iisa-isahin ko kung inyong mamarapatin ngunit kung hindi naman ay iisa-isahin ko pa rin dahil sayang naman ang pagkakataong tayo ay nagkakatipun-tipon sa gusaling ito na nasa latitude 14° 36′ 14″ Hilaga ng Equator at longitude 121° 2′ 56″ Silangan ng Prime Meridian sa Mapa ng Maynila. Ang tatlo pong dahilan ng aking pagbibitiw ay ang sumusunod. Una, hindi ako heredero katulad ni Gilbert Teodoro; pangalawa, hindi ako haciendero katulad ni Noynoy Aquino, at pangatlo, lalo pong hindi ako bilyonaryo katulad ni Manny Villar.

Ngunit ito po ang dapat na unawain n’yo: hindi po salapi o pondo ang dahilan ng pagbibitiw ko sa partido at lalong hindi dahil sa napabalitang alitan namin ni Ginoong Eduardo Cojuangco bagamat gusto kong bigyang diin na hindi ako heredero katulad ni Gilbert Teodoro; hindi ako haciendero katulad ni Noynoy Aquino, at lalo pong hindi ako bilyonaryo katulad ni Manny Villar na malayang makakagastos sa halalang matagal ko na ring pinapagplanuhan subalit hindi ko pa lubusang napagpapasyahan kaya’t ito po ang gusto kong iparating sa lahat: hindi po kakulangan sa pera ang dahilan ng aking pag-atras datapwat kung mabibigyan ako ng pagkakataon ay gusto ko ring maranasan ang maging heredero katulad ni Gilbert Teodoro; maging haciendero katulad ni Noynoy Aquino, at lalo na po ang maging bilyonaryo katulad ni Manny Villar.

Hayaan po ninyong pag-isipan ko ang aking mga susunod na hakbang dahil kailangang kunsultahin ko, hindi lamang ang aking pamilya o kaibigan, kundi maging kayong lahat na kapartido ko na ngayon lalo pa’t ako’y malaya nang makapagpapasya kung ano ang nararapat at makakabuti sa lahat ng tao sa Pilipinas na ninanais ko ring umunlad ang buhay at umangat ang estado sa lipunan katulad ni Gilbert Teodoro na isang heredero; ni Noynoy Aquino na isang haciendero at, lalo na po ni Manny Villar na isang bilyonaryo.

Sa huli, isa lamang po ang hinihiling ko sa lahat: huwag ninyong paniwalaan ang walang basehang alegasyon na salat ako sa pondo kaya ako nagpasyang iwan ang partidong hindi maiwan-iwan ngayon ni Loren Legarda dahil sa pangambang baka ang aking pagbibitiw ay maging mitsa ng katapusan ng kanyang karera sa pulitika. Mali po ‘yon. Hindi po salapi o kontribusyon mula sa mayayamang negosyante ang nagbunsod sa aking pagbibitiw sa NPC bagamat aaminin kong hindi po ako heredero, hindi po ako haciendero at lalo pong hindi ako bilyonaryo.

Maraming salamat po sa inyong lahat at mabuhay ang sambayanang Pilipino lalo na ang maliliit na taong tapat na naglilingkod sa mga heredero, haciendero at bilyonaryo.”

[Please turn to page 2 for continuation of speech...]

_________
“A good retreat is better than a bad stand.”
~Irish Saying

Kaya minarapat ng mga readers ng www.greenpinoy.com na wakasan na ang kaguluhan at gumawa na ng isang

TEXT-SYUNARI!

Isang talaan ng mga salitang nakikita sa text at ang ibig sabihin nito!

Uumpisahan ko ang listahan at welcome ang lahat para magcontribute sa comments!

FOE - po

Yun na!

Nyahahaha! Kayo naman!

LET ME BEGIN THIS post by saying that I am genuinely happy for ex-future president Mar Roxas and his ex-girlfriend, the ex-future First Lady Korina Sanchez, who is now a certified madrasta.

Congratulations, best wishes, and most importantly, good luck!

Unknown to many, I was one of the hundreds of uninvited folks who endured the smoldering heat outside Sto. Domingo Church in Quezon City to witness the event dubbed by local media as the “People’s Wedding” and “Kasalan ng Taon.” Dozens of politicians attended the ceremony, probably the reason why it was hotter inside the church.

The truth is: Conrado De Quiros and I were sent wedding invitations by Senator Roxas. However, Korina insisted that we apologize first before security personnel could allow us inside. In short, “No Sorry, No Entry.” De Quiros replied, “I’d rather wait for Noynoy’s wedding.” But the PDI columnist admits he doesn’t have any idea if it will ever happen since “Sa lahat ng pulitikong may girlfriend, si Noynoy lamang ang hindi atat na atat mag-asawa.”

As for me, I opted to be a spectator outside. Thanks to the giant video wall that was installed in front of the church for ordinary people to see the wedding. If it’s any consolation, I was beside the GMA 7 news team. You just have to admire those guys. They were so prepared for the special coverage! In fact, they brought their 3G phones in case the video wall suffered technical glitches!

The ceremony was pushed back to 4 o’clock because the bride wasn’t around yet at the originally-scheduled 3PM rites. It turned out that from the Intercon Hotel in Makati, Korina first went to Heritage Memorial Park in Taguig City to pay respects to her departed parents – in her bridal gown! She plans to do the same this coming All Saints Day.

Trivia: Ano o sino ang nakikita n’yo sa larawan?
A: Parada ng santong sikreto pa ang identity
B: Prusisyon ng mahiyaing birhen!
C: Si Korina ‘yan. May GMA 7 crew kasi sa labas kaya pilit itinago!
D: Duh! Basta ang alam ko kamukha ni JV Ejercito ‘yung lalaking naka-blue

Deviating from the norm, Korina Sanchez did not wear a veil to cover her face. It was a personal and tactical request, as she wanted to make sure that neither Sen. Francis Pangilinan nor reporter RG Cruz could go near her.

As the Inquirer reported, politics took a backseat at the celebrity-studded event. Everyone was there: from the stalwarts of the Liberal Party to members of Erap’s company and even allies of the ruling Lakas-CMD-Kampi. The only VIP missing was Loren Legarda who reportedly got sick because of climate change.

The almost nonagenarian, former Senate President Jovito Salonga, a principal sponsor was present. Loren Legarda would have enjoyed talking to him.

Among the guests, presidential aspirant Noynoy Aquino was greeted with the loudest applause. The only other time he received such applause from the public was when he told his sister Kris Aquino to “shut up.”

Congressman Teofisto “TG” Guingona III almost didn’t make it to the occasion. Good thing he resigned from the Nacionalista Party on time.

During the offertory, former Chief Justice Artemio Panganiban, a principal sponsor offered chalice and wine. Another principal sponsor, Rosa Rosal offered blood.

Reports say Sen. Mar Roxas wrote his own wedding vow… which was a good thing. Imagine if people behind his TV ads were tasked to write it! Baka nag-back out ‘yung bride!

But an awkward moment happened during the exchanged of vows. After Korina stated that Mar was the fulfillment of everything she ever wanted in a husband; Roxas slipped, and said that Sanchez was the fulfillment of everything he ever wanted in a political endorser.

Yet another awkward thing happened at the reception. When relatives of the groom conducted a survey and asked guests if they wanted the couple to have a baby before the elections, 30 percent chose YES while 10 percent chose NO. The remaining 60 percent chose Noynoy Aquino!

A minor commotion ensued during the traditional tossing of the bridal bouquet. When Korina Sanchez tossed it, the bouquet landed on Vicki Belo’s face, and P100,000 worth of Botox squirted out.

According to the Philippine Star, at the end of the matrimonial ceremony, “Mar and Korina kissed for 11 seconds.” But the Philippine Daily Inquirer said, “the couple kissed for three minutes according to a reliable source who requested anonymity.” The Manila Bulletin merely described it as “a beautiful kiss” while Abante Tonite’s banner headline said, “Nasarapan sa halikan!”

Postscript: In case you missed snippets of the wedding on TV, just follow Inquirer columnist and Liberal Party supporter Manolo Quezon on Twitter. He tweeted a detailed account of the event: blow-by-blow. Good job!
___________
“A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.”
-Zsa Zsa Gabor

IN OTHER NEWS
SENATOR FRANCIS JOSEPH ESCUDERO has announced his resignation from his party, the Nationalist People’s Coalition shocking not only his party mates but the members of the press as well who expected him to declare his presidential bid in a hastily-organized press conference at Club Filipino Wednesday morning. Before dozens of his cheering supporters, the 40-year-old father of twins delivered a speech in Filipino, the original draft of which reached the Professional Heckler. Will be posting it on Friday.

Matapos mag-resign si Chiz sa partido, sinong kandidato ang susuportahan ng NPC? Tatakbo pa ba si Chiz sa pagka-pangulo? Ikunsidera niya kaya ang pagka-bise presidente? Ano ang mangyayari sa plano ni Loren Legarda? Sino ang magiging presidential running mate niya? At ang pinakamahalagang tanong na kamakalawa pa gustong malaman ng publiko: Bakit walang belo si Korina Sanchez sa kanyang kasal?

Survey Says
Should Noynoy Aquino marry Shalani Soledad in case he wins the presidency?
OO, Para may First Lady: 19%
NO. Ayusin muna niya ang bansa. 27%
I don’t give a damn. 54%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Elsewhere
Newsbreak Magazine advises presidential aspirant Manny Villar: You don’t stand judges up

Francis Escudero’s political adviser Lito Banayo insists the senator is seeking the presidency

Loren Legarda’s statement on Chiz Escudero’s resignation from NPC

Morbid but true: Memorial pages on Facebook

NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Sino may alam ibig sabihin ng FLUG?

Makahula me kiss galing kay Michael LOL!!!

Kapatid siguro to ni FOE ahahahahahah!

Maraming salamat kay Pareng Eycee para dito!

As I have said before, there are only two genuine opposition groups in the country today: the Communists, and ABS-CBN.

Let’s face it.

ABS-CBN is perceived to be pro-Noynoy Aquino, and the public expects it to go all out for Noynoy and Mar in 2010 [despite Beaver Lopez’s dad-in-law’s shameless (as the Inquirer put it) bid to reclaim Malacañang.]

If rumors are to be believed, network bosses plan to reformat ABS-CBN’s UHF channel: Studio 23 so it could implement a new program schedule in support of the candidacy of Tita Cory’s unico hijo.

Here’s a peek at the proposed programming:

Studio 23’s Primetime TV Guide

Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays
7:00 – eX, eX, eX (ni Korina, ni Bernadette, at ni Barbara)

8:00 – Zaijan Jaranilla as the young Noynoy in “May Bu…hok Pa”

9:00 – “My Sister Kris: Girl Behaving Badly”

10:00 – “Extreme Makeover: Noynoy Aquino Edition”

11:00 – “I’m A (Reluctant) Celebrity (Candidate), Get Me Out of Here!”

Tuesdays and Thursdays
7:30 – “TV Patrol Tarlac”

8:30 – “SNN: Showbiz Na si Noynoy!”

9:30 – “Kris Says the Darndest Things”

10:30 – “Beauty & the Geek: The Love Story of Shalani and Noynoy”

11:30 – “Sex and the Sissy”

Saturdays and Sundays
7:00 – “Hagupit ni Noynoy: Special Coverage of the Forthcoming Presidential Surveys”

8:00 – “Katorse” (Ang Bilang ng Patay sa Madugong Dispersal sa Hacienda Luisita noong 2004): Noynoy’s Take

9:30 – “So You Think You Can Run”

10:00 – “PBB: Pinky’s Bachelor Brother”

11:00 – “Two and a Half Men” (The Joshua and Baby James Show)

Note: Program schedule is subject to change without prior notice to the Liberal Party and the civil society.

For comments and suggestions please visit,
http://www.studio23lovesnoynoyandfamily.com or type NOYNOY (space) Your Comment (space) Your Spiritual Adviser’s Comment (space) Your Best Friend’s Comment (space) Your Sisters’ Comment (space) Your Girlfriend’s Comment (space) Your Favorite Nephew’s Comment (space) God’s Comment (space) Your name (space) Your Signature (space) and send it to 2366 after your three-day retreat.

__________
“Good advertising does not just circulate information. It penetrates the public mind with desires and belief.”
~Leo Burnett

As you all know, #126 Sushi is a Japanese food that is synonymous with “raw fish.” However, this isn’t the case. Sushi actually means anything made with rice seasoned with rice-wine vinegar (Sashimi means raw fish, but is used in a totally different context). Additionally– Sushi did not originate in Japan. “It is said that sushi was introduced into Japan in the 7th century from China. People began making sushi to preserve fish by fermentation when there were no refrigerators.” (About.com). Sushi is also low in fat and high in Omega-3!

Now that we’ve laid down the facts (as is the norm here at SAPL): Here’s the Guide!

1. Get Everything Ready!

You will need long cucumbers, avocado, calrose (short-grain rice), sweet rice-vinegar, sushi rolling pad, seaweed sheets, non-stick cutting board, some type of meat (tuna will even do in a pinch), soy sauce, sesame seed, and wasabi paste (optional).

My laptop is optional (but would be cool).

2. Get the ingredients ready - I’m using avocado, cucumber, calrose rice (with heated sweet vinegar spread over it), and tuna (in place of a more expensive raw fish).

3. Preparation instructions for Rice and pictures of preparation.

Calrose (short-grained) Rice with Heated Vinegar Spread Onto It

Heating up Sweet Rice Vinegar to pour over rice

Cut up cucumber and avocado

4. Lay the sushi roller on the table flat with seaweed sheet on top.

5. Lay a thin layer (1-2mm) of rice across the top of the seaweed. Don’t forget to add some sesame seed to the rice after you’ve spread it around.

6. Lay the cucumber, tuna, and avocado in a straight line across the edge of the rice.

Oh no! I’m finally in a shot!

7. Roll it up and tighten the roll from the end of the sushi roller to the other side. Whenever you have finished a layer (you will understand when you do it), tighten it with the roller some more. The sushi roller keeps your hands from touching the food and becoming sticky.

The final result. Isn’t it a work of art?

8. Now, let’s slice it up. Choose a thin knife (use your best judgment), and then cut it up into pieces just like at your favorite sushi restaurants.

Don’t forget to try those end pieces (yumm..)

9. Now, you can:

Take artistic photos of your sushi

Eat it.

Or store it for up to 7 days without it becoming stale and VERY difficult to eat.

10. Enjoy, and thanks for reading this SAPL DIY Post about: How to make Sushi!

If you have any Asian recipes that you want to document and explain– don’t hesitate to email us at asianslike [at] gmail [dot] com

Loren Declares Bid
Sen. Loren Legarda who has officially declared her bid for the vice presidency is reportedly looking for a presidential running mate. In particular, Legarda wants a partner who is “Beyond 70,” “Married,” and “Adventurous.”

Loren Declares Bid II
Did you catch Sen. Loren Legarda’s speech last Friday detailing her “green’ platform of government? After listening to her speech, I was convinced that the lady senator’s the best candidate and the most qualified to become this country’s next… environment secretary!

Villar on Wowowee, Again
Presidential aspirant Manny Villar was on the game show Wowowee again last Saturday, and gave away houses and lots to six overseas Filipino workers. If in the next survey he’d still trail Noynoy Aquino by more than 20 percentage points, Villar vows to give away an entire subdivision.

Puno Quits VP Race
DILG Secretary Ronaldo Puno, who has withdrawn his bid for the ruling party’s vice presidential nomination in 2010 says he’s “fed up with politics” to which politics reportedly retorted, “the feeling is mutual.”

Mar & Korina’s Wedding
Sen. Mar Roxas told Senate reporters that he’s “very excited” about his forthcoming wedding with Korina Sanchez. The lady broadcaster is “equally thrilled” but admits she’s been fervently praying that on their wedding day, Roxas won’t give way to Noynoy.

Top 7 Things Korina Sanchez Wouldn’t Want to Hear on Her Wedding Day

No. 7: “And now for the latest update. Tropical storm Santi is now a super typhoon and is expected to make landfall in Southern Luzon and Metro Manila on Tuesday afternoon…”

No. 6: “Akala mo bading, ‘yun pala hindi! Akala mo for show, ‘yun pala for real!”

No. 5: “For the First and Second Reading, may we call on Ms. Mel Tiangco and Mr. RG Cruz.”

No. 4: “In fairness huh, ang ganda ng mukha, hikaw, at kwintas. Parang totoo!“

No. 3: “Huwaaat??? Inatake sa puso ‘yung pari??!!”

No. 2: “This senator will self-destruct in five seconds. 5… 4… 3… 2… 1!” (Wedding March then starts playing)

And the No. 1 thing Korina Sanchez wouldn’t want to hear on her wedding day…

“Mabuhay si Noynoy! [Mabuhay!]

_________
“The woman cries before the wedding; the man afterward.”
~Anonymous

Survey Says
Who should be our next vice president?
Jejomar BINAY; 8%
Loren LEGARDA: 4%
Ronaldo PUNO: 1%
Mar ROXAS: 42%
None of the above: 44%

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