I learn a lot from my clients and I do mean A LOT.  I think sometimes I might learn more from them than they realize, which is totally good since I don’t want us *all* to be nutrition, fitness, wellness know-it-alls!  

One of my clients brought up a situation that he deals with on a semi-regular basis.

He calls it the “Oh f*ck it, whatever” moment.  I cleaned it up a little but you get the point.

What does he mean by it?

He means that we all hit a point where we’re really trying hard to be healthy but we hit a roadblock.  We stumble.  We might even trip & fall & bloody up our knees a bit.  It’s at that point where we can choose to dust ourselves off & keep at the healthy habits we’ve been working on OR where we just say, forget it & sink back into whatever self destructive habits we were trying to quit in the first place.

It’s the potato chip phenomenon.  You open up a bag intending to really only have a few chips.  You ignore it when your hand keeps traveling back to the bag, then to your mouth, then back to the bag & back to your mouth.  You look down & see that you’ve easily worked through more than half the bag.  

That is the moment.  This is when you get to choose if you put the bag down & slowly back away OR if you just say f*ck it, whatever & finish off the bag.

There’s some rationalization.  If the bag is there, I’m just going to finish it off eventually.  I’ll either eat it now or eat it later, does it really make a difference?  I’ve already fallen off the wagon so why not just go all out?  Once the chips are gone, they’re gone.  I will NOT be buying any more of those.  They’re evil.

Which path do you choose?  Which path is the right one?  Is there a right path?

What I’m getting at is that this moment- this “forget about it, whatever” moment- is not the test that it appears to be.  You aren’t choosing the good or evil path & sealing off your future.  You’re just simply hitting an obstacle on your road to better health.

Of course this is a difficult & emotional moment for a lot of people.  I know I struggle with it myself.  But what it comes down to is pretty simple- what do you need to choose today to satisfy whatever is going on inside of you?

Do you need to eat the bag of chips?  Do you need to eat only half of it?  Do you need to even open it up?

Whatever the chips symbolize to you, the decision rests in your hands.  But before you make the decision, you need to recognize the moment.

So today, tomorrow, or this week- watch & see if & when that moment hits you.

How do you react instinctively?  What do you do?  

If you able to, take out any judgment of right or wrong.  Just look & see how you react.

Once you know what makes you tick, then you can start addressing what’s really going on.

Or maybe you’ll just be saying “f*ck it, whatever” & go for the whole bag of chips…

I have to admit something.

I have a running problem.

And this running problem has gotten U-G-L-Y.

I know that many of you reading this may not be runners so I’ll try not to use too much running jargon but the point overall still remains the same.

See I’ve come down with a case of Achilles Tendonitis.  In plain English, this means that the Achilles tendon running down the back of my lower leg is massively inflamed resulting in swelling, tenderness and pain.  Oh yes, there is pain.

This pain is an excellent reminder of all of the running that I’ve done over the years and most especially of all the challenges that I’ve faced over the last 12 months.  But I’m going to use the lessons that I’ve learned to help all of you see a side of yourself that you may not see.

Oh yes, we’re going to be heading into some juicy territory here.

But before we get there, I’m going to teach you two running abbreviations.

When a runner begins a race but needs to drop out before the race is over due to injury, fatigue, stomach upsets or anything like that, that’s called a DNF.  DNF = Did Not Finish.

When a runner is scheduled to race but doesn’t actually go through with it, again due to injury, fatigue, illness or the like, that’s called a DNS. DNS = Did Not Start.

These six letters can mean a huge blow to any runner’s ego and I’ve experienced both over the last six months.

Ouch!

I DNFed a marathon at the end of May.  I overextended myself, attempting to run 26.2 miles in uncharacteristic hot and humid weather.  My feet were burning, my body was aching and I just couldn’t hold my own during the race.  So at mile 16, I called it.  I quit.  First time in my life that I’ve quit a race.

I’ll admit it, there were tears of frustration.

Then over the last 4 weeks, I DNSed for two different races because of my achilles tendonitis.  I just couldn’t do it.  I knew that if I pushed myself,  I would have ended up majorly injured.

So why do I tell you this?

I’m bringing this up because I’m wondering where in your life you have DNFed or DNSed.

What have you started but failed to finish?

What have you wanted to do, but never showed up for?

More specifically, when it comes to what you most want for yourself, for your health, for your future, where have these infamous letters popped up?

It’s hard to take a honest look back at what you’ve done to admit that you backed off when you should have pushed forward.  It’s hard to admit where you gave up before you even let yourself begin.

But hey, we’re all human.  This kind of stuff happens.  But the trick is to be human and not let this part of ourselves rule our day to day life.

Do you want to see yourself DNF on a regular basis?  Do you want to think of yourself as someone who consistently settles for a DNS?

What will it take for you to step up and see the potential that exists within you?

Okay, so maybe you’re thinking that you’re not the kind of person who settles.  Maybe you’re thinking that you *always* finish what you start.  That’s cool, but follow me on this one.

Have you ever made a New Year’s Resolution?  How did that work out for you?  How long did it stick?

Have you ever joined a gym to get into shape but weren’t able to keep up on your initial excitement & momentum?

Have you ever vowed to eat more fresh fruits and vegetables AND you’ve even went out and bought them only to find them rotting in the back of the fridge?

These are all victims of DNF and DNS syndrome.

I know that I’m guilty of it.  I’m probably more willing to admit how guilty I am of giving up too soon or not showing up for myself at all.

So what do we do about this?  What do we take away from this lesson?

The take-away message here is that we embrace our human-ness but at the time we step up and follow through where we can, finish up old projects if they’re still feasible and, most importantly, we show up for ourselves and are brave enough to begin what we think we cannot.

Because the truth of it all is this: it’s never too late.  It’s never over.  It’s never past the point where you can’t start or finish anything that you’ve set your heart and mind on.

As far as DNF and DNS  goes, they will never be the end of the story.  Neither one will prevent me from lacing up my sneakers again.  My story isn’t over with the challenges of the last 12 months.

And neither is yours.

There’s a fine line between reality and make believe.  Unfortunately for many of us, the line is a little more than slightly blurry.  We ride this fuzzy line until we actually believe that the truth- our reality- isn’t true and that the make believe stories we tell ourselves are in fact 100% accurate.

How about this: what stories about yourself do you believe are true? And equally important, what truth about yourself have you actually given up on?

Hello reality check.

The universal truth is this: we are insanely cruel to ourselves. Maybe not 100% of the time but by and large, the majority of the time we never give ourselves enough credit, enough honesty, enough forgiveness or enough self-love.

This is prime territory for creating and growing negative beliefs about ourselves that seem to put us on lock-down.

Here is my truth.  When I first sat down to write, I had already eaten half a box of Mallomars.  If you’ve never had the opportunity to taste a Mallomar, it is a little cookie goodness under a mound of marshmallow yumminess and then covered with a delicious layer of chocolate.

Can you tell that I enjoy them?

The reality of the situation?  I wasn’t hungry at all.  I actually didn’t even want the Mallomars.  I would have  been happy with a glass of water.

So why did I eat them?

I ate them because I’m stuck in a make believe reality and that story that I’m telling myself had me believing that eating a half whole box of Mallomars would make me feel better.  That eating them would solve all my problems.

Did it work?

Nope.  This fake reality of mine still exists and exposing it struck such a fear in me that I returned to the box and finished it.

I spend time with my nutrition coaching clients explaining how you need to listen to your body’s cues.  I try to shed light on the body’s innate ability to know exactly what it needs at all times- if you should be willing to listen to it.

And my biggest problem lately is that I have ignored the subtle messages that my body has given me.

I have done such an incredibly complete job of ignoring these messages that I am now riding a fine line of bodily injury that could and very well may prevent me from doing one thing that gives me so much joy and satisfaction.  I may have to say no to a pleasure of mine that reminds me how strong- both physically, mentally and emotionally- I am just because I have chosen to live in an untrue story of my life.

But today I am choosing to reveal this weakness of mine in order for you to perhaps shed some light on your own.

Are you living out a false reality? Are you stuck in a story that you’ve spent years telling yourself just so you wouldn’t feel bad, wrong or different?

Are you ignoring your truth?

There’s a story that I heard years ago, something along the lines of an old wives tale or fable.

It goes something like this:

When God is trying to tell you something, when there’s an important message that is trying to be relayed to you- it starts off subtle, like a brush across the check.  Perhaps even a feather caressing the skin.  If you choose to ignore this sign or don’t see it’s existence, then you are given a slightly more overt message- a phone call from a friend, a sign or billboard on your way into work. And again, if you choose to ignore the message, it becomes more defined like a papercut or a stubbed toe.  If you still don’t see it, then the message becomes louder, like getting smacked across the face or hit by a 2 x 4.  And if still, you ignore it, then watch for the oncoming bus or train to run you over.

Please don’t wait for the bus or train.  Let this be the faintest of whispers or that brush across your cheek.

What story do you need to stop telling yourself right now?

What message has your body been telling you that you choose to ignore?

Stop believing what ever fiber of your being is telling you isn’t true.  Why do you torture yourself?  Why are you limiting the joy and pleasure that you deserve?

My thought is this, you can either live a safe, uneventful and perhaps joyless life or you can take a deep breath and suck the life out of life, making the most of each and every moment.

You have nothing to lose.  You have nothing to wait for.  You don’t need permission.  You don’t need a better time.  You don’t need more time.  You just need to believe in yourself.  You just need to take the chance.

Oh yeah, and put down the Mallomars.  You won’t need them where you’re going.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Okay brave souls. I’ve showed you mine, now you show me yours.

What stories are you telling yourself that you believe are true?  Not sure?  Well share them below and let’s try to make some sense of them.  Remember you have nothing and I do mean nothing to lose.

Go on, don’t be shy.

When I was growing up, it wasn’t uncommon to hear someone say after a great meal “Wow, that was delicious! What made that so good?”

My mom, the consummate home chef, would answer, “It’s so good because I made it with love.”

Then it would be dropped because, of course, love is that special ingredient that makes everything taste better.

It became a common answer to a common question and still to this day, my mom will always answer the question “How come this tastes so good?” with “Because I made it with love.”

Now you may think this is silly.  How could love make food taste better?  How could something that you can taste, feel or touch make any kind of difference.

How come I always smile when people eat and then exclaim how delicious their food is?  How come I answer in my head “because it’s made with love”?

The answer is simple.  You can taste the difference when food is prepared with love. 

It won’t be sweeter.  It won’t be more pungent or aromatic.  There won’t be an obvious outward difference.

The difference will be internal.  The difference will be in how you assimilate your food.

I can’t promise that food made with love will have fewer calories or won’t let you gain weight.  I can’t say that food made with love has a higher nutritional value but I will say that the experience of eating will be different.

When my mom would say her food tastes so good because she made it with love, she didn’t actually mean that *Love* was an ingredient in the pantry.  She didn’t mean for us to take her literally.

What was meant was that the experience of her food was love- that the energy she put into preparing her meals was one of positive, loving energy.  Nourishing her family was a high priority.  Because she wanted to nourish her husband, her kids, her friends, she gave each spoonful of the meal a more potent nutritional value than any fruit or vegetable could ever give.

She gave it her love.

What does this mean for you?

This means that the next time you’re enjoying a meal, recognize that there was a deliberate intention around the experience of your meal.  Perhaps great care was taken when choosing ingredients.  Perhaps the chef carefully prepared your meal.  Perhaps even the company you keep while you eat is having a positive effect on your meal.

Take into account the overall experience of your meal.

Choose, prepare and enjoy your meals all with the intention of getting the most out of them.  Take time to be grateful for the love that surrounds the act of nourishing yourself and others.

Whether you cook or not, whether you eat alone or with others, take time to notice how imbuing a sense of love and pleasure to your food does make it taste better.

And then you’ll know the answer to the question, “Why does this food taste so good?”

Have you ever wonder what *exactly* makes a healthy eater?

Is it something that they’re born with?  A skill set that they learned from their parents or some special class they took?

Or is it just something innate within them that for some reason makes them immune to chocolate’s creamy allure?

(Maybe that’s just my own weakness…)

Have you ever sat by and wondered what gives these healthy eaters the willpower that you just can’t seem to hold on to?

Well, wonder no more.

These healthy eaters are not superheros hiding among us normal folk.  They don’t possess some special skill or talent that you can’t have yourself.

What is it that makes them different?

The easiest thing is to identify the top habits that make a healthy eater, a healthy eater.

1. They like and eat their veggies, especially the dark green, leafy kind.

2. They have field tested different types of protein sources and know the kinds that work for them.

3. They realized a long time ago that fat and carbs are not their enemy and that eating them are a necessity for their health.

4. They know that fiber is their friend and that regular bowel movements are not a pipe-dream but rather should be a daily or twice daily occurrence.

5. They enjoy drinking water and actually drink it.

6. Sleep is a nightly requirement and not something that is to be caught up on between meetings, during the daily commute or over the weekend.

7. They are not slaves to either the scale or the number of calories they consume during the day.

8. There is no such thing as eating with guilt especially while eating their most favorite foods.

9. Sneaking food, drinks or snacks just doesn’t happen. Why?  See #8.

10. Exercising and moving around is a pleasure.  Punishment is not ever associated with any healthy lifestyle habits, especially exercise.

11. The act of eating is slow, deliberate and enjoyable.  Food is thoroughly chewed, savored and digested.  The pressure is off, there is no emergency when it comes to eating.

12. There are no *evil* foods,  no forbidden or guilt-worthy snacks.  Food is just food.  No devil horns or angel halos have ever been seen in a supermarket.

What are your sticking points when it comes to being a healthy eater?  What do you struggle the most with?  On the other hand, what healthy eating habits are the easiest for you?  Which ones do you normally practice on a daily basis?  Which healthy habits are you most excited to try?  Which ones do you dread the most?

Share your thoughts and your fears around what eating healthy could mean for you below.  If you have your own healthy eating habit, please share that too!

As one year comes to a close and another begins, I can’t help but look back and see where these last 365 days have taken me.  More importantly, I take time to look ahead and see where the next 365 days will take me.

I’m also looking ahead to see where you’ll be in this coming year.

Have you thought about it?

Have you wondered what life has in store for you in 2011?

The better question would be this: where do you want to be when the clock strikes midnight and ushers in 2012?

Do you want to be thinner?  Richer?  In a stable and happy relationship?  In a better career?  Just plain happier?

What are those things that you put on your yearly to-do list in hopes that they’ll actually get done within the span of 2011?

In full disclosure, I’ve got the to-do lists to end all to-do lists.  It’s become a monster of a list where the end and beginning have all but disappeared.  Of course, I want to finish off my list but will that ever actually happen?  Even I don’t know that answer.

I can guess though, knowing who I am, that my list will never actually be complete.  I’ve got this “thing” where I like to be busy.  I like to always have stuff to do, things to accomplish, items to cross off my list triumphantly.  With this said, I’ll probably just keeping adding items to my list day by day all throughout 2011.

But there is one list that I have that’s pretty short.

This list contains just one item but it is one thing that I wish for above everything else.

This list, this one small item is also the one thing that I wish to give to you as we move from one year into the next.

It is my gift to you as we welcome in 2011.

What is it?

It is love- pure and simple unconditional love.

I wish for you the gift of giving and receiving unconditional love.

Why this gift?  And why is this gift significant now?

Despite all the ups and downs that any one of us can experience during the course of a year, it seems to me that this year has been extremely difficult on a lot of people.

I have seen such unhappiness, such anger and persistent stress.  It breaks my heart to see so many people suffering.

It is in this vein that I offer you one very simple gift.

May the love that I send to you this very moment spread throughout your body and infest your spirit so deeply that you are able to give this same gift to others.

May your heart be open to receiving this love fully and without condition.  Just being who you are automatically makes you worthy of receiving love and likewise, all the people who you come into contact with on a daily basis do so as well.

May your heart be open enough to offer this love to others, also without condition and without worry of having this love returned wholly to you.

May you give this love to others who may not have done anything outwardly to deserve it.

It is a gift that has no price but at the same time is completely priceless.

This is what I wish for you for 2011.

First off, let me apologize for the use of the word “hell”.  I know it’s not always practical to use words that might be potentially abrasive to some when you’re trying to get a point across, but just bear with me.

I’ve made it a point to always speak my mind, to not use words or examples lightly and to- sometimes to the horror of my own ego- present myself exactly as I am.

Yes, there has been and will be self-deprecation.  Never malicious, mind you, but honest and as open as I can allow myself to be.

So I know where I’m coming from when I talk about Holiday Hell.

I’ve been there way more times than I’d like to count but I’ve learned something that will make your life 1000 times easier AND could potentially help you avoid that post-holiday bloat from ever stopping you from wearing whatever it is you’re planning on wearing New Year’s Eve.

What is it?

What is this magic trick that I speak of?

It is the simple concept of “Lateral Changes” or “Lateral Shifts”.

Lateral changes are the difference between regular everyday so-so on the health scale food and regular everyday way healthier food.

Are you following?

It is the change between white bread and whole grain bread.

It’s the change between white rice and brown rice.

It can even be the change between vegetable oil and olive oil.

Lateral changes are the things that you can do to ratchet up the health factor of the foods you’re were going to eat anyway.

Making a cake?  You can always switch out some of the oil or butter for apple sauce and cut down the fat calories.

Trying to cut back on soda?  You can always sip on flavored Emergen-C packets plus water instead.

Looking to imbibe some alcoholic drinks but want to save face and cash at the same time?  Alternate your drinks with water and help you body avoid the post-party symptoms while remaining alert, hydrated and the social butterfly you intend to be.

There are many different ways to up the ante when the holidays hit.

You don’t need to abandon your healthy efforts, you don’t need to take an exercise siesta during the holiday season.

Why address this now?

Because you can plan ahead.  You can take your planned out holiday menus and see where you can make simple and often un-noticeable changes.

You can help yourself and your guests by switching up the typical holiday fare for healthier options without running the risk of only serving rabbit food- that is, unless you want to serve rabbit food!

So what can you do?

What is one lateral shift that you can put into play right now?

Just remember, all it takes is one simple, little change to get the ball rolling.

Are you ready?

Let’s do it.

I used to think that I could do it all on my own.  I used to think that I could be some magical, self-sufficient creature who was just able to accomplish all of these amazing goals without the help of other people.

Boy was I wrong.

The thing is, I can’t accomplish much without other people.  I can’t accomplish any of the really big stuff without the help of someone else.

It’s not as if I’m not capable and it’s not like you’re not capable either.  It’s more like the difference between a local train and an express train.

On your own, you’re a local train.  You have to stop at every single stop.  You have to pause, look around and make sure you’re still on track.

But when you have the help of others, your trip turns into an express train.  You can pass over certain stops, you can build up speed and momentum and let’s be honest, the trip is a lot more enjoyable.

Why the metaphor?

It is easy to think that any goal you set for yourself is only about you.

Yes, it is your goal and yes, you are the one responsible for whether or not you actually accomplish the goal but it’s not only about you.

It’s about having a team or a support network around you in order to make your life easier when you set out to accomplish something.

The funny thing about goals is that sometimes we may think that we’re all alone.  It’s “my” goal and I need to accomplish it and I can do it all by myself.  It’s almost like we can’t accept help in achieving our goals because then it means that we didn’t really do it or didn’t really deserve to accomplish it.  It’s almost like if we don’t do it all ourselves, then it doesn’t count.

But what if by having the help and support of others that we can actually achieve all of our goals and do it faster, easier and more enjoyably?

What if then?

When I said before that I found out that I can’t accomplish anything without the help of someone else, I was referring to not only their physical help but more importantly to their emotional help- to their support.

While I may be stubborn and insist (sometimes) on doing things my “own” way, there is no way I would ever leave the house without my support network in place.

Sometimes I may just need to pick up the phone and call someone.  Maybe I need to text someone, email someone, maybe I just need to feel like I’m not alone.  Whatever it is, I need to realize that goal setting is not a private event.

And I’m guessing that you might need to do it too.

If you could achieve all of your goals, if you could ensure your success in almost any given endeavor, would you do it?

If it required you to do something as difficult as telling someone else your goals, your hopes, your dreams, would you do it?

When you open your mouth, when you put pen to paper or fingertips to keyboard, when you share what is closest to your heart with your ambitions, then you are opening up the door for other people to help you achieve your goals.

How?

By giving them a chance to support you, that’s how.

When you let people in on what you’re doing, you are opening up a doorway for them to help you in whatever way they are willing to do so.

Maybe the help will be physical, maybe it will be mental or emotional- whatever it is, you are not alone.

You are creating a valuable asset, a precious resource by allowing others to be a part of your support network.

When you allow others to help, you are hopping on that express train and you are bettering your chances of achieving your most mind-blowing goals.

Support will be the key to your success.

Not convinced?

Try it “your” way and see what happens.

If it works, then great.  That’s wonderful.

If not, then look and see who is in your life that you could ask for help or support.  Can you name at least one other person?

Yes?  Great.  Stop reading.  Call them now.

When was the last time you were afraid?

Today?

Yesterday?

Last week?

Last month?

Or maybe you’d rather not even answer.

Regardless of when or even where you were last afraid, the idea of fear is so deeply ingrained in our brains that we will never in our entire lifetime be free from it.

And that, in my opinion, is the best thing ever.

I never want to be without fear.

Every day I want to have felt some kind of fear, some touch of the butterflies in my stomach, my pulse racing in my veins and feeling my skin flush from the adrenaline in my body.

What?

Hear me out before you freak out.

Fear is a totally human response.  It is our immediate emotion when we are in danger or when we are about to attempt something that either we have never done before or something that we are not 100% comfortable doing.

It is what stretches us beyond our boundaries and allows us to grow as humans and as people.

If you give yourself a goal of losing weight and getting healthier, then fear will naturally become a part of that goal.

Why?

First because you worry that you might not succeed- the fear of failure.  Second because what happens if you do succeed- the fear of success.

This dichotomy is one of the things that make us unique as a species.

As much as we have our natural instincts, our thinking mind takes us up a notch on the fear scale.  We are capable of feeling fear of two opposing things at the exact same time.

Why would someone be afraid of both failing and succeeding all at once?

This happens, believe it or not, because it’s actually easier than just being afraid of one.

Fear of anything means a fear of stretching your limits.  Whether you fail or succeed, you are stretching yourself past your normal- past your already established boundaries.

And this is perhaps even harder than actually doing the thing your were afraid of in the first place.

Whether you fail or succeed, you are leaving your “safe space”, the place where everything is a known quantity.  Once you leave this safe space, you can never go back there because you have challenged yourself to see another option.  Everything changes once you embrace your fear and chance failure or success.

Do you feel like you’re running around in circles yet?

Another question might be why do we even fight fear?

What do we have to gain from fighting fear?

Why do we try to ignore it and pretend like it doesn’t exist or that it doesn’t affect us?

My simple answer: It’s because its way easier to pretend something doesn’t exist rather than dealing with it.

Let’s take this answer and apply it to our potential weight loss and healthier living goal.

Why is it easier to pretend that our goals don’t exist rather than actually dealing with them and doing the work?

Why are we afraid of both failing and succeeding?

Why does fear enter the equation when we set goals for ourselves?

The answers to these questions may have many variables that take on different shapes for you versus the shapes they take on for me.

But the end result of these questions around fear bring us back to the same place that we were in before- change of the status quo, the permanent disappearance of our “safe space”, the ultimate forever loss of our known.

If you strive to lose weight and become healthier, you are choosing to leave forever the safe and known space of your current life.

You will need to address and then change your habits, some of which may be ingrained from your childhood.

You are forced to see yourself for who you really are and the body in which you currently inhabit.

Once you see the truth, you can never go back and whether or not you actually achieve your health goals, you are now a changed person.

This is perhaps the scariest part of setting and then going after your goals.

“What if I succeed” or “What if I fail” become easy questions to deal with when faced with the prospect of going somewhere you have never been before with zero opportunity to return to where you’ve been.

This is at the heart of why we can pretend our goals don’t exist.  This is why its easier to not actually do the work that will get us where we say we want to go.

If we don’t really set out to achieve our goals, then nothing will change.

And if nothing changes, then we don’t have to change.

And if we don’t have to change, then we won’t ever be uncomfortable.

And if we don’t have to be uncomfortable, then we can stay exactly where we are.

The problem with staying exactly where we are is exactly that.  We don’t go anywhere.  We don’t accomplish anything.

And this is the exact reason why I want to wake up everyday faced with something that scares me, at least a little bit.

It is this fear that drives me to step outside of my boundaries and into something more amazing than ever before.

This is where I am the most free, the most able to be my amazing self and where, I believe, you’re free to do the same.

Most of the people I know want easy, tried and true and guaranteed results.

They want to know that what they’re doing is the right thing to do and that whatever struggles happen along the way are just part of the process- part of their eventual success.

While that’s a great thought, it doesn’t always end up that way.

I mean, the guaranteed success, the easy, tried and true results aren’t always a sure thing.

Sometimes the struggles are going to be ugly, hairy and seemingly worthless, but they’re there for a very good reason.

No matter what you’re trying to accomplish, you’re going to have to tread down a path that you might not want to go down because that path means that you’re going to have work, you’re going to have to struggle and that you might not succeed at achieving your goal.

What a downer.

Seriously, when you’re staring down the possibility of these things happening, why bother?  What’s the point?

The point is that all of this struggling, all of this work, of hardship, of breakdowns are all a part of the process.

If you can see past the chance of failure, then you can possibly see the value in going through the process.

But chances are that if you’re reading this right now, you might not be having such an easy time accepting the idea of doing the work, trying to get the “thing” and then not actually accomplishing it.

This is where you get caught up.  This is where your struggle is.

But trust me when I say this, the struggle is where the gold is.  The struggle is where you’re going to learn the most about yourself, about what matters most to you, about how you work the best and what value that desired endpoint actually has in your life.

It’s all fine and good to work towards a goal.  It’s fine that you tell yourself that you really, really want that thing, that goal.

But if you’re constantly stuck in the struggle of that “thing”, then what are you actually working towards?

Let me give you a concrete example.

Let’s say your overall goal is to get healthier.  You have a few ideas on how you’d like that happen- 1. lose 25 pounds of body weight; 2. lower your cholesterol; 3. lower your blood pressure; and 4. feel better and stronger in your body.

Those are great goals and very specific and very concrete.

In a perfect world, all it would take to achieve those goals are eating a healthier and more balanced diet and getting more exercise.

Seriously, that’s all it would really take.

But in reality, it would also bring several other and critical factors into account.

You would have to deal with your current lifestyle.  If you’re serious about becoming healthier, then you’re going to have to address the current habits you have around food and exercise.  Are you a reactive eater?  An emotional eater?  And if so, then what is the real root cause of that?

You would have to deal with how you manage your time.  By just saying you want to eat better and exercise more, you are steps away from making a long-term commitment to taking better care of yourself.

Believe it or not, many people find that one simple and almost common sense action to be one of the most difficult to adopt.

By making yourself a priority and carving out time to choose and prepare healthy food, you are potentially taking time away from your family and friends.  The thought of doing this is very hard for some to accept and then put into action.

You’ll have to deal with criticism. You’ll have to deal with negative self-talk.  You’ll have to deal with your self esteem and self image.  You’ll have to deal with the clothing in your closet and in your drawers.

There are a lot of obstacles that will suddenly show up in your path once you decide to take a step forward and outside of your status quo.

But what you need to do is to make a decision.

Is the struggle that is heading your way- potentially- going to be worth it?

Can you handle knowing that it’s a necessary part of your process?

Are you able to reconcile the fact that you may not achieve your goal whether you accept the challenge or not?

If you are able to answer all of these questions honestly, then you’ll be able to know exactly how to take the next step.

Struggling is not necessarily a bad thing, if you’re able to learn from it.

This is where the magic is, where your ultimate prize is- this is where you’ll achieve something even greater than the goal you originally set out on.

So are you ready to step out? Are you ready to make it happen?

If you’re ready, then rock on.

If you’re not ready, then what is standing in your way?  What is holding you up and is there a way out?  Can you see it?  Do you want to see it?