Over the last few months, my life has got hectic. I have a new blog which I love with a fiery passion, a larger house and garden to look after, more freelance work, a demanding job, a novel awaiting publication, and a husband and friends to spend time with. I’ve got back into painting in a big way, and have opened a new Steff Metal etsy shop, and am doing a couple of local craft fairs this year (I do custom wedding portraits! Call me!). We’re moving to Germany in 2011, so I’m also trying to learn zee Deutch and prepare all our affairs for that. I love my wonderful, busy life, but something – actually, a lot of things – have to give.

After much pain, i’ve decided this website is one of them. I love reading and looking about weddings and sharing the excitement of you lovely lads and ladies as you plan your awesome special days, but I’m tired. I’m finding it increasingly difficult to write about weddings every week, when in real life, my focus is elsewhere.

I won’t be taking down the site – there’s lots of information in the archives for future brides and grooms. I want everyone to have the opportunity to read it. The Gothic Wedding Planner and Halloween Wedding Planner are still for sale, and will be updated very soon. You can buy them here, and also over at Steff Metal – which you should come check out if you’d like to read some non-wedding, subcultural lifestyle fun. I’ve got new ebooks coming out this year too, and some exciting projects which I can’t speak of yet, but they will be EPIC!

It’s been a wonderful couple of years, but I think it’s time to say goodbye now, while the site’s still good, before I just forget to post and everyone gets worried.

Love and Darkness

Steff

ghost halloween wedding cake

Wow, an amazing pumpkin wedding cake

The World's Cutest Bat Halloween Cake!

I love the modernist design of this. It looks like it should belong in an art gallery.

ghosts, ghosts, everywhere!

Alternative Wedding Cakes is now a regular feature here on wedding skulls. Looking at delicious, crazy, and weird wedding cakes is one of the best parts of being a wedding blogger. I just wish I get to eat them, too.

I wanted a circlet, and I looked everywhere for the perfect one. I found it, for $1000. Eeep.

I kept looking, but I didn’t find my gorgeous circlet until I discovered Dress of Your Dreams, the site from which I brought my amazing dress. I happened to glance at their accessories section, and there she was.

No one commented on my lack of a veil. They were too busy ooohing over our clothing and being scared out of their wits.

my beautiful medieval circlet

The tradition of veils harkens back to classical (ancient greek and roman) weddings, when the bride wore a veil dyed red. In many other cultures, it’s customary for women to veil themselves for sacred occasions such as weddings. In modern times, the veils has come to be a symbol of the “princess” wedding we all wan’t so much

But what if you’re not that kind of girl?

Headdresses and Fascinators:

With vintage pinup so in vogue, fascinators have made a comeback in a huge way. They’re in all the bridal salons, but you can get much more awesome ones by scouring the online shops. Look for unique details and bright colours.

Hats

Wedding hats are no longer only the domain of the matronly bride. What about a cute top hat for our Victorian tea=party? A straw hat for your beach wedding? A cyberpunk elf hood for your Industrial wedding dress?

A cake hat!

What about one of Agent Lover’s fabulous cake hats? How fun would that be for an Alice in Wonderland-themed wedding?

Circlets and Tiaras

Tiaras are for the princesses among us, but who’s to say you can’t be one of the badass princesses? Look for tiaras made from industrial metals, sharp angles, black-toned materials, and with an abundance of spikes.

While tiaras sit on top of your head, like a miniature crown, a circlet goes around your head, resting in the middle of your forehead. Circlets look ethereal, and work best for fairy, medieval and pagan weddings.

a beautiful Silver Moon medieval circlet

Wreaths

A simple wreath or garland made of flowers, laurels or dried fauna would really suit a pagan or medieval wedding. Alternatively, a wreath made from fake blooms could contain a few surprises: little charms, halloween decorations or mementos of loved ones.

So you see, you don’t have to cover yourself with a veil on your wedding day. Nor does your head have to stay bare and proud. You have lots of options for finding an item of headgear to suit your needs.

a kiss on the rune stones

Who be you?

Ann Verleg Bulloch – Corrupter of the elderly (I sell gambling tours to seniors) and Vinny Bulloch: Kitchen Manager at the Ramada Inn Kamloops

What made your day a Skully Wedding?

Our quest was to make our wedding, fun, heartfelt, and slightly over the top.  We wanted to make all of the weird and wonderful things in our imagination come to life.

We decided on a Viking wedding because
1.      Vikings are cool
2.      We love Viking metal
3.      And like Yngwie Malmsteen said “I am a Viking” (I have a Danish background and Vinny’s family is Scottish)

No dear, you've had enough to drink

We also wanted to do a Viking wedding because Medieval weddings have been done over so many times and a lot of them are dare I use the word “Tacky” and poorly organized/ put together. They just suck… there I said it. (This of course is a generalization because I have seen a few amazing ones as well)

Tell us about your favorite wedding details?

I loved that everyone at our wedding was in costume.  My mother and I sewed about 75% of the costumes for the wedding including the groom, groomsmen, flag bearers, grooms family, brides family, flower girls, photographers, guests the list
just goes on forever so I’d have to say that’s one of my favourite details because we slaved over those costumes for almost 2 years.

Storming the beach!

The wedding party. Those outfits are stunning! Two years of work well worth it.

We did get married in a church (a heritage building which is non denominational) so the running joke was that we were doing a reconnaissance mission for the raid the following weekend.

The event that every guest loved was the “Battle for the Buffet”! Each table chose a leader or thane of their clan. Each clan was named after an animal important to the Vikings. The Thane had to make the sounds and actions of their animal in order to get the attention of the MC/Skald. The first person to get the attention of the Skald could answer the trivia question. If they answered the question correctly they could proceed to the throne room for a photo and then continue on to the buffet.  If they did not partake in the photo they would be thrown into the great pit of Carkoon and be eaten by the all powerful Sarlacc. Sounds like fun huh?

The groom's speech. EPIC!

Most memorable moment?

Here’s a list

When Vinny’s Aunt had to cut me out of my Opeth t-shirt because we couldn’t get it over my big wedding hair.

I tripped on my dress during the dance and landed flat on my back and crushed my crown into my head.  After the party we spent 30-45 minutes trying to get it off my head

Getting the “Abby Road” shot and stopping traffic seven cars deep. Apparently no one was brave enough to ask them to move, no honking horns or one fingered salutes.

Abbey Road, Viking style

The beautiful original painting we received from my aunts and uncles.  A painting of Odin’s ravens that my grandfather painted before I was born.

My mother in a mosh pit

the Viking getaway car!

Tell us about the music at your wedding?

Well for the ceremony we started out with the THX Theme and 20th Century Fox Fanfare. The boys walked out to the end credits from the 13th warrior.  Vinny’s big entrance was to Also Sprach Zarathustra (2001 theme).  Then the ladies
marched in to A gift of Thistle (Braveheart Soundtrack).  I made my big entrance in to the Imperial March. We left the church to the Raiders March (Apparently we are move fans)

The reception had a strange mix of TV themes, halloween music, metal and the usual “wedding dance material” but it all worked in the end.

the littlest viking

Our first dance was to Harvest by Opeth and we ended the night with Slayer, Reign in Blood

Any advice for Wedding Skulls?

Vinny says wear clean underoos.

Save your money.  We saved so much money that we sold our house and bought a new one.

Do it yourself.  If feels so much better to say yeah I made that, rather than oh yeah I paid a zillion dollars for that because I was too lazy to do it myself.

essential reading

Get your friends and family to help!  Use the people that you know.  Our lodging, reception and food were done at Vinny’s hotel.  My florist was my maid of honour.  The cake was made by a family friend.  Our rune priest was Vinnys old bootlegger from high school.  Our photography was done by a friend who is actually a pilot, and the list goes on. This is how we saved the most money and this way everyone at our wedding meant something to us, even the serving wench!

guarding the treasury

Buy or sew your attendant’s clothes.  They love you, but they don’t want to have to sell their first born in order to wear the ugly… I mean unique clothes you picked out for them.

Don’t be afraid to add some “Metal” to your wedding. Just don’t wear corpse paint and a studded leather cod piece… you’ll look like a ‘tard.

Gothic Renaissance dress, $230, by Seasons of the Earth

Kim Cresson is the style maiden behind Seasons of the Earth and their new clothing line. All corsets are handsewn using quality boning and exquisite fabrics. Kim also sells a collection of goddess necklaces, altar candles and other magikal miscelleny. Kim’s goal is to help women of all ages and magical abilities to find and embrace the goddess within.

This gothic-inspired dress comes in five pieces – a black satine skirt, dark red celtic cross brocade and taffeta fabrics for the front and tail of the bodice, and black suede for the back of the bodice. Dark red knotted taffeta is also used in the front of the skirt. The bodice is finished with black rattail for the ties. The cuffs are made with a combination of matching materials.

To view the rest of Kim’s collection, visit the Seasons of the Earth website, or the Seasons of the Earth garb etsy shop. She ships internationally via Priority Mail, and can do alterations and custom orders.

• Cut back on the paper consumables

A wedding with 100 guests might include save-the-date cards, multi-page invitations with maps, registry cards, RSVP cards, dress codes and information guides for out-of-towners, programs, seating cards, menus, guestbook pages, napkins, placecards, favor tags, favor boxes, cake boxes, thank you cards, thank you postcards, change of address cards and “go to the photographers website to see our photos” cards.

That’s an awful lot of paper.

• Rent, instead of buy

Rental companies offer everything from table linens to candelabras to ornate cake-cutting knives. You’ll be surprised by the items they offer – many would suit a gothic, steampunk or rockabilly wedding. They often rent Halloween and medieval decorations, too.

You can even rent attire. My bridesmaids rented dresses and big, chunky cross necklaces from an amazing costume designer. This saved all of us money buying new dresses, and they didn’t get stuck with a dress they might never wear again.

• Buy things you’ll use again.

Many alternative brides incorporate corsetry into their wedding gowns. I love the ladies who choose a corset design they’ll wear again and again. Simple, two-piece gowns can also be worn as seperates. I wear the jacket from my wedding at many outings, and I’ll be re-using my wedding dress for some photoshoots and a ball next year.

What other things do you need to buy that you could re-use? We brought candles as centerpieces, which we use in our home. Instead of flowers I carried a lantern, which we also use as part of our décor. I love using our wedding seal.

• Reclaim and Recycle

Find things around your home for your wedding. We used lego from our own collection to make our cake topper. CDH wore boots and trousers he already owned. We toasted with heirloom goblets handed down to me by my great grandmother.

Buying second-hand isn’t filthy – it’s a great way to find a bargain and save a little space in the landfill. Search online for vintage dresses and shoes. Check the Goth Auction sites for wicked second hand alternative clothing. Borrow your sister’s shoes.

• Forgo items you don’t need.

Favors, who needs them? Not you! They’re not part of traditional wedding traditions, but a product of the wedding industry: a cute invention to cajole you into buying more wedding ephemera.  Often, guests aren’t sure what to do with them – my sister spend money on making cute paper bags filled with expensive chocolates, and half of them were left on the tables when we cleaned up the wedding!

Save-the-dates: what are these, really? I can understand the necessity of finalizing the date with out-of-towners as soon as possible, so they can plan transport, but wouldn’t a phone call suffice? That way, you could save yourself some money, and you could have a chat with your family and friends.

Seating cards? Itineraries? Wedding Programs? You don’t need them. Seriously, why do we stress ourselves out with all this stuff? It all gets thrown out at the end of the night.

In the end, having a green, eco-friendly wedding doesn’t mean you have to become a tree-hugging hippy. No one expects you to walk barefoot through the forest, unless of course, that’s your thing. When you’re progressing through wedding plans, simply ask yourself “am I doing this in a way that impacts negatively on the environment? Can I find an alternative that is less wasteful?”

I love Bret and Louise’s quirky Australian wedding. This dress is so pretty, and I don’t like white dresses.

Bowie Bride. Best new wedding blog. The title says it all.

Steampunk meets anthropologie. An amazing aesthetic wedding shoot from Christine Farah. Wow.

Ariel from offbeat bride gives us all something to ponder in Fear-Mongering and You’ll seeeeee

Objects in the Mirror: Another interesting look at the fashion industry, though the eyes of reality TV.

A Practical Wedding wrote an incredibly kind and well-thought post on Planning a Wedding in the face of Terminal Illness or Death.

Ashe over on Dramatis Personae has some good advice for custom-ordering from indie shops.

Gothic Glam – the Engagement, and Gothic Glam – the Wedding.

For Whom the Wedding Bell Tolls. Reign in Blonde reports on the nuptial bliss of prominent metalheads.

Kerin and Matt’s Celtic Winter Wedding. Black details on dress, kick-ass bridesmaids, tattoos, music … a beautiful and inspiring wedding.

Modern Day photo booths for your wedding guestbook.

Punk Rock Wedding décor and inspiration.

And, lastly, CakeWrecks shows us the amazing sweet treats that happen when gamers marry.

“if you have an idea, or twelve, we can moosh them together into your dream wedding gown.”

The use of the word “moosh” has me sold

She’s got Victorian gowns, medieval gowns, Southern Belle costumes, and more. She uses quality fabrics and embellishments, and – although these are relatively simplistic gowns - the attention to detail shows.

Spooky Kitten Couture’s costumes would make excellent bridesmaid dresses, or even bridal or mother-of-the-bride outfits. She loves custom orders, so convo her if you have an idea, or twelve.

She donates a portion of her funds to animal charities, which is also totally awesome.

So, Victorian brides and medieval wenches, check out Spooky Kitten Couture on Etsy!

We’re having a smallish (80) people wedding in our backyard. The theme is Gothic pagan fairy tale. We have a folk band playing and its gonna be heaps of fun.

Should we have a wedding registry? My mum says we have to and without one no one will know what to buy us, but I’m  not sure. What do you think?

***

Wedding registries. Ick. I hates them.

Generally speaking, people accept that a wedding is an occasion to bring a gift. they expect it, they plan for it as soon as they get the invite in the mail.

However, it’s impolite to imply, especially ON the invitation, that gifts are to be expected. And that’s just what those little registry cards the stores give you do.

Having a wedding registry does not make you selfish, becuse normally, you chose a wedding registry to attempt to help your guests, and make their lives easier, and that’s not selfish at all. But they can appear selfish and present-grabbing to some people.

Also, the stores encourage you to register above and beyond what you could expect to recieve to “give everyone a good selection to choose from” or “in case people want to give you more than one item.” Some of them tell you to register 3 items per wedding guest, which is 240 items for an 80 person wedding. How do you think that looks when your guests recieve the store list?

And lastly, registries rob those people who take great joy in shopping, or making, that perfect item to help you start your married life. While there’s no rule that says people have to buy from the registry, having that little card fall out of the invite sure implies there’s a rule.

So, instead of a gift registry, I recommend leaving a note with the person managing your RSVPs – either yourself, or your mum, or your maid of honour or whoever – about the kinds of gifts you might like. Create a small list of household goods (small, and non-specific: toaster oven, and coffee machine, not ”the super-expensive coffee expresso machine with built-in choclate curl decorator, from specific shop at incredible price of only $299.99) or specify a larger gift people might donate to. Some people say “donations towards our deposit on first home” or, as we did “donations towards our travels”. 

When people ring up to RSVP, they will most likely ask about gifts, so you or your RSVP-minder can give them a few ideas, and also keep track if someone says “Oh, I’ll get the toaster.” They can cross that off the list. If people don’t want ideas about where to get a gift, they won’t ask.

You can put something like “RSVP and gift ideas by calling Grandma Luna” on the invites, which seems much less rude than writing a message about what you want, or including a registry card.

In saying that, registries are becoming the norm these days, and most people know what they are and understand it’s just a couple trying to help out their guests. So, I would think about the guests you’ve invited, and assess what method would be most useful and least offensive to them. Would they rather have a convenient way to shop for something they know you want, because you picked it out, would they rather have a rough guide to what you might need, but still have the pleasure of picking it out, or would they rather give a donation and be done with it? Would they think the very idea of saying anything, at all, about wedding gifts incredibly offensive and presumptuous?

Only you know your guests, and can best guess how they would react to a wedding registry, and only you can decide whether you should choose a registry or not.

I hope I’ve helped
Steff

The starting point for anyone planning a medieval (or other historical period) wedding is the source material and history books. A little reading would reveal the reality of medieval marriage is much different to the fantasy.

The Church performed marriages, and any marriage had to be sanctioned by them. In 1076, the Council of Westminster decreed that a man could not marry his daughters or sisters without the blessing of the Church. However, it wasn’t until the 16th century that a marriage had to be performed by a priest. Castle weddings were common, and allowed, so long as the marriage was blessed by a priest later. Weddings would often take place in the “Great Hall”, or in the gardens. 

Marriages were generally arranged like a contract, with papers drawn up describing the rights, responsibilites and properties of the bride and groom. Arranged marriages were the norm, especially among the upper classes. An arranged marriage would be decided when a the intended were about 10-12 years old, and they might not even meet until the day of the wedding.

For a marriage of lesser wealth, a betrothal ceremony would take place at the bride’s family home, and the whole village would gather to celebrate. They would give the couple useful gifts like farming tools and spindles. If the groom couldn’t afford a ring, he would give the bride half a broken coin, and he would keep the other half.

The bride’s family was responsible for organising her dowry, while the grooms family provided a suitable home for the couple. A gift would also be given to the priest who performed or blessed the ceremony. A groom might also give his bride a gift on the morning after the wedding, to say, essentially, “thanks for letting me pop your cherry, love.”

Grooms who married a bride from a different village would have to buy a round of beer for the local lads, since he had robbed them of a possible wife. In return, the local lads might stage some kind of serenade or prank (sounds like a stag party to me) to try and catch the bride and groom doing the dirty.

The bride’s dress would be the nicest one she owned, and her entire face would be painted with cosmetics. High foreheads were considered beautiful, so she would pluck her hairline. Brides would wear their hair loose or weave flowers through it to create a floral wreath. She might tie a blue ribbon in her hair or on her dress, and blue was the symbol of purity.

The wedding day would include a great feast, and entertanment (jugglers, musicians, minstrels). if the Lord of the Manor felt the occassion justified it, he might even free prisoners to mark the special day. Beggars gathered outside the gates to beg for leftovers.

And what leftovers there would be! Roast quail, venison, cheeses, carrots, pears, strawberries, apples, oysters in almond milk, tarts, bread, salads of chives, lettuce and radish roots, onions, pistachio nuts, and turnips. Mulled wine, cider, beer and mead flowed freely, and dancing would follow. Guests brough small cakes, which they stacked in a huge pile (mmmm, cake pile!) and the bride and groom would try to lean over the pile and kiss without toppling the cakes, as this meant bad luck.

A medieval wedding sounds like an awful lot of fun. If you’re planning a medieval-themed wedding, you can use these traditions as a jumping-off point for your own ideas. No one is going to stone you if you don’t follow medieval traditions to the letter.