People seem to know me as that woman who leads networking workshops especially for introverts and anyone struggling with networking. It’s true, I keep leading a workshop called Networking Secrets from an Ex-Wallflower™.

I’m leading one next week in Amherst, MA — free to the public thanks to the Amherst Area Chamber of Commerce. I led one last week at Univ. of Connecticut, and I have more to come (including online). I’m also forming a Networking Momentum Group in Northampton to provide in-depth support and accountability for moving forward.

My behind-the-scenes story is that I really was a wallflower for a long time. In fact, I was that painfully shy, practically invisible kid all the way through school. For example, even though I was obsessed with making good grades, if I had to do an oral report, I would beg the teacher to give me an “F” instead of making me talk in front of the class. I can feel the queasiness just thinking about how it felt back then.

In college, I gradually came out of my shell thanks to tapping into my passions (ya know, changing the world kinda stuff). And that was the beginning of a long transition. (Wish I had had a coach back then so it would have been a shorter journey.)

I got better at public speaking by throwing myself into being a health educator after college, so that was a big step forward. Passion for wellness got me through it. It became easy and fun.

But you can see in this photo (right) from age 24 that I still carried the weight of shyness in my posture and my hesitant smile. I had more work to do.

Finally Cracked the Code for Networking

It still took years before I could find ease with things like networking and self-promotion. I avoided self-employment because of it, despite my entrepreneurial ideas dying to get out. And now, years later, I am self-employed, loving it, and I love the networking part.

I don’t just tolerate networking; I found out it can be fun! It’s supposed to be fun! As I like to say, networking is just a fancy word for making friends. Shouldn’t that be fun?! That perspective is one of the keys I bring to my workshop.

I actually studied how I made this transition and I love spreading the word about the steps, because, what a RELIEF! It doesn’t  have to be so hard. I promise.

Turns out I found a way to boil down the solution to networking into a workshop. People that attend are getting it and feeling the shift. Some go on to get coaching for more ways of finding their voice, and I love seeing them expand on that process. I can’t tell you how gratifying this journey is for me.

So you can see why I keep leading the workshop and helping anyone who wants to find their voice. I feel so grateful. Thank you Universe!! Thank you to all my workshop attendees and clients who allow me to live my calling.

My Journey in a Nutshell

I learned to stretch over time, gradually building muscles and widening my comfort zone.

Pivotal points were learning about introversion, reading Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, and studying heart-centered communication.

Introvert Revolution?

By the way, yes, I have seen the new book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, by Susan Cain, and I highly recommend it. It has great research and stories about introverts, how we are misunderstood, and why our approach is valuable.

I’m grateful there’s an introvert revolution going on. (Have you seen all those introvert articles lately?)

Maybe schools and workplaces can learn how to embrace and be inclusive of all styles with the help of a book like Quiet. Get inspired by watching Cain’s powerful TED talk here. (Here’s proof that introverts make awesome public speakers.)

[Click to view the embedded video.]

I am dedicating this song, “May I Suggest,” to you. I hope you enjoy listening to it in this video.

I think you’ll find it inspiring whether you are in the midst of new hope or the grips of fear. The message points you to the treasure that is already waiting for you.

I hope you’ll stop and listen to the beautiful harmonies so it will sink in on that soulful level. Or just stop to listen to prove to your racing mind that you know how to slow down.

May I suggest
This time is blessed for you
This time is blessed and shining almost blinding bright.
Just turn your head
And you’ll begin to see
The thousand reasons that were just beyond your sight
The reasons why
Why I suggest to you
Why I suggest this is the best part of your life…”
~Susan Werner [complete lyrics here]

Please listen to or read the whole thing. There is so much buried in that one song. Afterwards, I think you’ll remember why this time is blessed.

P.S., For similar inspiration, check out the quote and the books in my last post.

Are you like me with trying to read more than one book at a time?

I get so excited about certain books and it’s hard to be loyal to just one at a time… so they start piling up. You’d feel the same way if you had these fantastic books in front of you, as I do now:

1. The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Imposter Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It (2011)
   ~by Valerie Young, Ed.D.
2. Career Renegade: How to Make a Great Living Doing What You Love (2009)
   ~by Jonathan Fields
3. Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us (2009)
   ~by Daniel Pink
4. The Tao of Entrepreneurship (2009)
   ~by Marcia Bench

I have honestly begun them all and have been inspired by them all.

I can already highly recommend all four books. Seriously, check out this inspiration:

The very fact that you have a desire to start a business – or to change or grow one you already own – means that the means to fulfill your dream already exists, right now….

Your desire is your inner voice, your Divine Inspiration….

Once the desire is clear, the way will appear. Giving voice to the desire will likely inspire you with one next step.”

~Marcia Bench, in The Tao of Entrepreneurship

All four books in my list are so well written that you’ll forget it’s non-fiction. You’ll laugh at the surprises and self-recognition, and get swept away in the stories.

All four also offer concrete, doable steps — from a heart-centered place. These are my kind of books.

So, here’s hoping I won’t add another to the pile until I finish these. Admittedly, I’m not even mentioning the novel and the spiritually inspiring book I have nearby for other moods.

Do any of these books speak to you? What books are inspiring you lately? Comments encouraged below. You can leave it anonymously. It’s easy.

To my beloved blog readers,

During this time of year-end reflection, I notice myself thinking about what matters. Gratitude for you comes to mind.

Thank you for your support of my work by reading my blog and possibly showing interest in more ways (attending events, referring clients to me, etc.). Since my work is an expression of my life’s purpose, your support and interest mean the world to me.

I’m including a photo of me enjoying that Whoosh of trust and flow as I rapidly sled downhill. On that day, it reminded me of my option to choose trust on the ride of self-employment. I’m glad that I often remember to go with the flow. I hope you’re experiencing that flow feeling too.

Year in Review

As I look back on my year, I’m especially excited to share these milestones with you:

• I enjoyed speaking at numerous events including the 18th Annual Women Business Owners Conference, U.Mass. Eisenberg School of Business, PodCamp, Western Mass Business Expo, and the Women Business Owners Association series at Bay Path College.
• I led my networking workshop for wallflowers at U.Mass. and got invited to lead it at U.Conn. in 2012.
• I made some wonderful new connections at those events.
• I hired an e-learning specialist to help me create an online version of my networking workshop (in the works).
• I had a significant increase in business over last year.
• I’m finally starting my e-newsletter.
• I assisted at two coaching trainings which deepened my passion for coaching.
• Most importantly, I’ve had the honor of helping people clarify their life’s work and bring it into reality — defying the economy and other fears.

Now I’m breathing and taking in this abundance.

What about you? What milestones come to mind as you look back on your year? I invite you to write it down and perhaps leave a comment below.

May this season bring you time to appreciate all that’s here already and all that’s possible.

Best wishes and happy holidays,

Val Nelson