Ann Evanston | Warrior-Preneur

Nurturing Self: an Act of Self-Love

Ann Evanston — Sat, 10 Mar 2018 13:11:31 +0000

I love spending time in my garden digging in the dirt. Breathing in the gorgeous smells, even of the dirt! Noticing my beautiful flowers in bloom. The Freesia are starting to pop this time of year. My mustard greens are huge!

My garden is deeply spiritual for me. Not only because it feeds us, as I frequently share on social media.

My garden feeds my soul, it calms my energy. It is source.

It is where I draw strength so that I have energy to do more and be more in the world. Most wouldn’t know this of me when I speak, but I am an introvert. And my garden is where I draw energy, get my mind right, set intention. It allows me to be the best me I can be in my work. It is where I vibrate self-love.

How do you nurture yourself?

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Quit Taking it Personally

Ann Evanston — Sat, 03 Mar 2018 13:57:10 +0000

Ouch. Hard one. I can hear some of you now: “But Ann, it IS personal.”

Is it? Really? Why? Because they said it about you? Even to your face?

Isn’t it about them? Their integrity, their values, their way of being in the world? Wouldn’t it be great if we didn’t let them rent space in our hearts and minds?

It is possible. Quite do-able even. It starts with loving yourself enough. Knowing yourself enough. Believing in yourself enough. What if you became a person that wasn’t offended anymore? How would that feel?

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Discover Self-Esteem: the First Step to Self-Love

Ann Evanston — Sat, 24 Feb 2018 13:20:44 +0000

The journey to Self-Love is more like an onion, understanding the layers of “self” that strengthen YOU. Self-esteem is the inner core. Self-Love is the outer layer. I know that makes no sense, lol, but run with it for now!

Self-Esteem is where it all starts, it’s the seed you are actualizing, loving and BEing the best you in any situation. Self-Esteem, most simply defined , is the relationship you have with YOU. It is how you think and feel about yourself. It is being able to know and like YOU.

The key to Discovering your Self-Esteem is to know who you are….not what you do, or the roles you play. Who you are you take into those other things. And, when you can do that with peace and happiness….show up as you, you have Self-Esteem.

Do you know you? Is she present in all you do?

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Don’t Be the Backup Singer in Your Life

Ann Evanston — Wed, 21 Feb 2018 13:54:47 +0000

I was watching a reality “singing competition” show, I wrote the now title of this blog. I was suddenly reflecting about women I have worked with over the years. An amazing singer on the show, who has been a back up vocalist for some of the best female artists in the world, was on the show. Her voice was amazing. Her ability to emote was fabulous. Her style and stage presence drew you win.

She had everything to be the star of her life. To live fully connected in her self love. To exercise that in everything that she is and does.

She even made it to the season finale. She came out singing to really hard songs, from powerhouse female artists. (Yes, I’m talking like Whitney Houston hard! LOL)

And that’s when I realized that she was still the back up singer in her life.

She didn’t make them her own. She sang a cover. It was very karaoke. Beautiful voice yes. Superstar no.

And she didn’t win. She did not achieve her dream. I often see women become back up singers in their life. They try so hard to be what someone else is. Because they believe if they could be like that, they will have what they want. They will be happy. Full. Content.

Ultimately, you must be the lead singer in your life. You must be what you are meant to be not somebody else’s version.

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Setting Healthy Boundaries: Understanding THEIR Reaction

Ann Evanston — Sun, 18 Feb 2018 13:38:01 +0000

I write quite a bit about boundary setting in my blogs. I find this is a constant topic of conversation with women, whether I am coaching them individually, or leading a program, and even at my Women’s Self-Love Evolution Retreat.

Boundaries can be a challenge for many reasons, and it isn’t just a simple as telling someone it is your boundary. You have to be strong enough to make it your boundary. When you tell someone what your expectation is their reaction is typically not agreeable and positive. Even if they might say: “oh, OK,“ their actions don’t always match that.

I often hear women say they even get pushback when they try to set a boundary. They hear things like: “oh that’ll never work.“ or: “what are you thinking? Nobody does it that way!“

Our initial reaction can be to just give up. Your critic will turn on and rationalize that it just doesn’t work. Here’s what you need to understand:

“The bad they know, it’s better than the good they don’t now.“

Soak in for moment. I said: “the bad they know is better than the good they don’t know.“ Humans are creatures of habit. We like predictability. We like knowing what’s going to happen next. And they already have a relationship with you. They already know what to expect.

So even if your new boundary is better for EVERYONE involved, they will push back. But sticking to your boundaries is your responsibility, not theirs.

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Being Emotionally Raw and Self-Love

Ann Evanston — Tue, 13 Feb 2018 13:22:05 +0000

I have learned that when I am emotionally raw the best thing I can do is to feel what I am feeling in healthy and loving ways. Often, because women are told they are too emotional, we stuff what we are feeling. It’s like we push it down as far as we can and put a lid on it. Over time, we completely lose our heart. We end up all in our head and unaware of what we’re feeling anymore.

When you are emotionally raw it’s an opportunity to learn how to be better in touch with your heart, soul and spirit. I am emotionally raw after my Women’s Self-Love Evolution Retreat. I hold this huge container for women to learn about themselves and at the end of it my emotional exhaustion is overwhelming.

And when I am like that, I am going to allow myself to feel it. It’s easy to want to get rid of it, stuff it, because it is SO overwhelming. There’s a difference between expressing it in an overly emotional way and feeling what you’re feeling. That’s where I go- the latter. By feeling what you’re feeling you are better able to increase the connection to your heart. By feeling what you’re feeling you are better able to tap into your own joy. By feeling what you’re feeling you’re able to create an expression of self love.

By feeling, I find that my expression is appropriate. Sometime we cannot be alone when it’s happening! But if I try and control it, others see a wreck. Or someone on guard. Or even an angry woman.

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Healthy Boundaries Start with One Thing

Ann Evanston — Sun, 11 Feb 2018 13:26:03 +0000

It is one thing to know what your boundaries are. It’s important to know what your boundaries are. But setting healthy boundaries doesn’t start with that. You can know every boundary you want, and if you don’t have this one thing, having healthy ones will be difficult.

The one thing needed to have healthy boundaries in your relationships is self worth. Self-worth is different from self-esteem. It is about knowing your value, for yourself as well as in relationships you have.

It is very difficult to request that someone keep a boundary if you don’t see yourself as priceless. Worthy. Often, we place others value above ours. Somehow they become first.

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Whose Story are You Hanging Onto?

Ann Evanston — Sat, 10 Feb 2018 13:06:19 +0000

In my book, The Influence Factor, I speak to an essential element regarding “knowing your truth.” It is so important that were able to look back at stories in our lives and how we allow other peoples versions of life to become ours. On a deep psychological level, we can embed them as our truth, without recognizing it is happening.

I remember at my Women’s Self-Love Evolution Retreat discussing relationships. The beautiful thing about the women who join me as we create a space where judgment isn’t necessary. This allows us to discuss stories, and change them.

So in discussion we learned that many of us has a different “type” of intimate relationship or partnership, from the traditional story we are told as girls. I shared that it’s really important to know your truth about the kind of relationship that matters to you. Too often we as women are told that getting married and having babies is the right adult relationship. Too often we as women are told that if we don’t do that that there must be something wrong with us.

This was freeing for other women to think that they can write their own.

Who’s story are you hanging onto? Is it really yours? Did you have a negative experience that you converted into a truth and now it keeps happening in your life? Have you asked yourself if this is what you want for you?

Career choices, body image, even your own self love. I even just rewrote a story about “girls are mean!” My first tip with clients is asking them to sit down and draw out the timeline. By doing so you can reflect on where those truths might be coming from. The next step is the harder part. You have to change the story. And that begins by knowing what YOU really want.

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You Can Choose Love

Ann Evanston — Sun, 04 Feb 2018 13:36:47 +0000

Love is a choice you can choose to love and be loved. To be a loving person. Love requires you make choices. The choice to be committed. To communicate. To be vulnerable. To sacrifice emotional safety.

Oh shit.

Yes, the greatest love is experienced when you risk being hurt. Betrayed. Let down. Disappointed.

Well fuck, THAT doesn’t sound like love.

It is. The more we guard and protect our hearts the harder it is to open up to love. Even receiving it.

I know some of you are saying: “ I will Ann, I am ready. When the RIGHT GUY comes along. The perfect guy.”

He doesn’t exist. No, Earl isn’t perfect! That’s also why I say find happy and then choose to love. ❤️

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Self-love And Your Body

Ann Evanston — Sat, 03 Feb 2018 13:26:09 +0000

Have you learned to love yourself enough to find your face, hands, feet, ah…your NAKED body….beautiful? Sexy? Strong? Powerful? A temple?

Are you proud of your curves, bumps, lines and wrinkles? Your color and tone, your hair and freckles? Have you taken the time to undress, completely, in the light, and LOOK at your body with love and acceptance?

I work VERY hard on this. Being raised by a culture that thinks skinny and big boobs is beautiful, I thought that was the deal. Well, I am not that. Big boobs, yes, lol, but there’s way more to my body. I admire my sister and aunties and the culture I married into. They love their bodies, all shapes and sizes. And they show it off!

And no, a woman isn’t wounded when she shows off her body…she just loves it! And that strengthens self-love.

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