““Don’t be afraid, Mary,” the angel told her, “for you have found favor with God! You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be very great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his ancestor David. And he will reign over Israel forever; his Kingdom will never end!””

Luke 1:30-33 NLT

Something hit me different this year when my pastor read these verses. It had everything to do with who Joseph was.

You know those people who are part of the “inside crowd”? That had to be Joseph. He probably wasn’t rich, but he was connected. His connections had everything to do with his lineage… something he had nothing to do with, but God had to have taken into consideration when he chose Mary, his fiancé, to give birth to Jesus.

Mary may have been less afraid because she wasn’t in the direct line of David (I’m guessing). This is important because Isaiah prophesied the Messiah would be in the line of David. Even though David wasn’t Mary’s great-grandfather 14 generations up the family tree, she was engaged to somebody who was in the line of David.

Being in David’s bloodline was a big deal. Today, we have ancestry.com because we don’t know our lineage. Back then, especially if you were a Jew, even more if you had “important lineage”, you would have known who your ancestors were. It was your identification, your pedigree.

Here’s the point… Joseph’s lineage could have been a major source of comfort after the angel said she was going to have a child… (freak out)… in the line of David… (whew!) …who was in Joseph’s lineage. She would have had peace/assurance that God had a perfect plan.

I usually hear people teaching about how scared and confused Mary would have been. At the risk of being rude (not my goal), I think they’re not paying attention to the verses. The angel is very specific about not being afraid. If frightening Mary was the goal, the angel for sure could have taken a different approach.

Here’s the application… when we freak out, knowing our spiritual lineage (a child of our creator), we can, instead, rest assured God has a perfect plan. People are repeatedly instructed through scripture to “not be afraid”. That plan may not begin or end with us like it did with Mary. We may not wind up in a barn with celestial visitors singing to our baby. However, we can rest on the fact God is in control, even though the resolution to what we’re freaked out about may not come quickly, or even before our death.

He’d say BRB
– I’d respond Be Right Back

LOL
– Laugh Out Loud

IKR
– I Know, Right?

This went on for a little while until he got to this one…

OMG!
– My eyes moistened up a little (which surprised me). I paused for a moment and said, “I don’t say that one.”

He got a little surprised and asked, “Why”?

I responded, “In my culture, we’re not supposed to take God’s name lightly or use it flippantly.”

—

That ended the quiz, but it set me on a thought path that has repeatedly dominated my mind over the last couple of weeks. I’ll be the first to say, “I’m no saint.” I leave a lot to be desired when it comes to being the “ideal” Christian. However, this one, for me, has always been, “I can be mad at God, but don’t you dare mess with him”. It’s kinda like your family. You can be mad at them and put them in their place, but nobody else better mess with them. Taking his name in vain has always been a red line I’m not willing to cross. It makes me sad to see it so flippantly used today, even among youth workers.

—
For the bulk of us, hopefully this is a no-brainer up to this point.

Here’s what I want to get at with this post, though. It’s an approach I haven’t used before, but I’ll for sure use it again. A lightbulb went off in my head during that conversation. The key word was “Culture”. I didn’t intentionally use it instead of “Christianity” or “Faith” … and I don’t know why I did.

First things first… everybody there knows I am a Christian. I was not hiding this fact, merely taking a different approach. When I say, “In my culture…”, instead of “Because I’m a Christian…”, it reaches into their vernacular. It’s in style to bash or dismiss Christianity. However, it’s very “non-woke” to mess with a person’s culture. It also holds open a door they would usually shut the moment the word “Christian” is introduced into the conversation.

Paul did this when he shared the gospel in Athens (Acts 17). He didn’t start out by introducing his God. He started by saying, “I perceive you are very religious.” He could perceive this because there were idols all over the place there. To say he “perceives” it could have been a funny statement. It would have been impossible to miss. He may have even chuckled as he said it. He then mentioned he noticed they have an “unknown God”, which he introduced as his God, then went on to tell about him.

When we take a different approach in our communication, which normally doesn’t happen by accident like it did with me, we may see the reach of our ministry going further and deeper.

The bottom line of this post is… I guess two bottom lines… are…

1. Please join me in revering the name of God, if you don’t already, and ditch “OMG”.

2. Thinking through our approach can seriously disarm people and open a door for them to catch a glimpse of our heart, and our God, in a way which helps them “get it” in their terms, and in their culture. Like Paul used Athen’s culture, we can use our students’ culture to get the message inside their hearts and minds.

My favorite thing in the world is doing youth ministry. A close second is talking about youth ministry. When James Lawson from Summerville Baptist invited me to do a video interview for his leaders, I jumped at the opportunity. Sharing it here in hopes it’s useful for fellow volunteers. Enjoy!

Then it came and, for obvious reasons, I had more significant reasons to dread it.

However, here’s the good that can come from this disastrous year… and it has to do with 2020 vision… (not sorry for that overused trope). This has truly been a year of vision. With the pandemic, civil unrest, election campaigns, economic calamity, lockdowns, travel bans, etc, we’ve truly been allowed to see our world under a microscope… with clear “2020 vision”.

Here’s the benefit… we know what we’ve always known: We live in a fallen, hurting world. However, the cracks that divide us and our deficiencies are laid out for all to see. If we were in denial before, or just pretended not to see what we knew was there, we can no longer claim ignorance.

We know…
• There’s a racial divide
• There are bad cops… as well as very good ones
• Which politicians are opportunists and which roll up their sleeves and try to work out viable solutions
• A lot more about what works and doesn’t work in education
• How we’re doing financially… which businesses don’t have adequate reserves, the truth about our own financial situation, that our country can create money to keep us afloat, etc.

The question is, now that we know, what do we do?

For instance, it’s not enough to know how fractured our country is along racial lines in some areas. What do we do?
• Do we tear some parts down to level the playing field?
• Do we help those who are down realize how to climb up the ladder?
• Do we truly analyze the quality of our own lives (good or bad) and what privileges or cycles through generations have impacted that (and how we have embraced or rebelled against that truth)?

We’ve lost a lot. I don’t need to go through the lists. They’re different for each person.

However, the gain is in the undeniable 2020 vision we’ve been slapped with this year. Our dirty laundry is out there. The damage is done… but the truth is… the damage has been being done for generations, we’ve just been forced to see it clearly this year.

So what do we do?
• Go back into life as it was when the pandemic fades?
• Build each other back up with a new understanding of the divides between us?
• Become more responsible with our money so we’re prepared for emergencies?
• Take more ownership of our education? Do we take it less for granted?

Honestly, this post isn’t about solutions. Those will differ from person to person. However, I wanted to stop for a few minutes to get my mind around the good of 2020. It’s been bad, so incredibly bad. However, we can be so much better if we see our deficiencies as a result, and be more strategic about our lives and determined to bring healing. While doing this, we can be more sensitive to others as we move forward. Most importantly, however, is it’s amazingly important we don’t put the blinders back on.

However, we’re in a pandemic. Church services are happening, but online. My plan for the summer is to hold my recent graduates hands (metaphorically) through the summer to help them plug into the College Ministry until they are able to do in person services again.

My boys lost so many senior rites of passage this year; Prom, Graduation Ceremony, Spring Break plans, etc. To make up for it, I did a huge graduation ceremony for our Life Group. We invited parents and siblings. We met on the outskirts of town where nobody would be concerned about a group of people gathering. It was such a great way to minister to the family and honor the graduates like they deserved to be honored.

What’s next? No idea. I’ve even been considering having somebody take over this blog. I still have energy for youth ministry, I just need to rethink it. I’m done at my current church (I think). I just need to figure out what comes next.

This took me back a bit because I thought it was incredibly funny coming from this guy I’ve respected pretty highly for several years. It was a good question, though. I thought I’d tackle this question as a year-end blog post to explain (as best I can) what’s been going on in my life and in my mind. This won’t be a short post, but it’ll definitely answer a lot of questions people have had, but few have asked.

What led to the move?
A couple of years leading up to my move to Atlanta were pretty rough, to put it lightly. I spent $80,000 dealing with issues ranging from my upstairs neighbor’s pipe busting under my foundation, to my car dying, to problems with my business, etc. etc…

I felt like I wouldn’t be able to keep up with the recurring dings on my finances. My only hope was to sell my condo and move to a less expensive state and hope that the problems would stay in California.

Why Atlanta?
I grew up in Houston, Texas. In 1985, at the age of 15, I moved to California as a result of the oil crisis that tanked the Houston economy. We were like Lot getting out of Gomorrah. While I’d been gone from Texas for 35 years, I’ve always had a desire to get back to the South. The reason I chose Atlanta over Houston was I have friends who moved to Atlanta. I knew that would make the move even better.

What happened in Atlanta?
Several things:

• My amazing friends let me stay with them while I got settled. I thought that would take a couple of weeks, but it wound up being about 4 months.
• I continued operating my company (Mission Shirts) from Atlanta. I hired a friend in California to make deliveries for me.
• I found a job to create W2 income so I could buy a place to live
• I found a temporary room to rent while I continued working toward buying a place
• I started attending North Point Church, where Andy Stanley pastors.
• I began serving in the Junior High ministry at my church.
• I spent time touring around the South, visiting neighboring states.
• I kept in contact with my Bible study students in California.
• I took part in Bible studies at my church and went through Financial Peace University to understand money better.
• I paid off all of my debt.

Life in Atlanta was coming along great!

Why did I move back to California if Atlanta was so great?
For the last 25 years, youth ministry has been the most important part of my life. Even though I had moved to Atlanta and had new students, I still cared for and stayed connected with my students in California.

At summer camp, there were some issues they faced that got me very concerned. Some of the boys were sent home.

I came back to California the week after camp for vacation and to reconnect with the students. During our time together, I realized it was important for me to come back and help them through their Senior year.

What happened when I moved back?
Some California friends (the son is a student of mine and the mom orders T-shirts for her school from me) gave me a place to stay until I got settled.

The funny thing is I’m a slow learner. I thought, like when I went to Atlanta, that it would take just a couple of weeks to find a place to live. About 3 months later, I finally found a place.

I’ve continued running my business and even worked as a seasonal worker for UPS for the last month. That was great exercise. Speaking of exercise, I’ve also decided to get back in shape. I’ve lost 35 pounds so far. Woo hoo!

Most importantly, I’ve been leading my Bible study again alongside two co-leaders (who were students of mine when they were in high school).

What’s next?
That’s the million dollar question. I’m going to keep leading the Bible study until the boys graduate in June. Beyond that, your guess is as good as mine. I might move out of California again. I might stay in California, but move to a different area. Who knows? I may even stay where I am.

However, at this point, and this is big for me… I feel like this might be my last year in youth ministry. We’ll see what happens. I love doing youth ministry, I think I need to figure out what’s next before I can think about starting a new group in the Fall.

Spatula Theory

In my spatula theory, teachers want to spread the truth all over the students like a baker frosts a cake. They get exposed to possibly amazing content, then get to lunch and forget what they learned because the content didn’t get inside their minds and hearts.

Blender Theory

In this scenario, the teacher doesn’t spread the truth like a baker spreads frosting. He puts the frosting (the material to be taught) in a blender, then adds the cake (the hearts and mind of the students) and gets everything mixed together thoroughly. In this situation, the truth becomes conviction that stays with them.

In the blender theory, the teacher includes the students in the experience of being taught, where the spatula teacher just spreads information around with hopes that it might connect.

More Specifically…

Let me dial this in a bit to show an example of each:

Spatula teaching: Jonah disobeyed God by running the opposite way God told him to. God won in the end and he used Jonah to change the Ninevites. We should learn from Jonah’s mistake and obey God the first time.

Blender teaching: Jonah was chosen by God for a task because he was one of God’s go-to people. Jonah wasn’t a bad guy. He disobeyed because he knew God would show grace to the Ninevites and he didn’t want to look stupid when God didn’t kill them.

Have you ever known what God would want you to do, but ran the other way? Maybe you knew what your parents wanted, but you did the opposite for any number of reasons. You and Jonah could be friends because you know how each other feel.

At the end of Jonah’s story, when God does, in fact, spare the Ninevites, Jonah is sulking. This man of God is bummed God had mercy. If Jonah had been on board with God, this would have been a reason to celebrate. This sulking session would be a moment of awe which Jonah would express through worship.

Students, let me ask you a question. How are you living the Jonah experience in your own life? Where are you sulking where you should be praising? Where are you saying “no” when God is saying “go”?

You’ve been chosen. We’ve all be chosen to be used by God…

The message goes on from there, but you’ve immersed the students in your message before you get to the good stuff. They’re with you, now just challenge them with action steps.

Whether you’re teaching a small group meeting or a weekend service, as Andy Stanley says in his book, Communicating For A Change, make sure they’re on board before you drive off wherever the message is going.

The truth is I’ve been struggling with my decisions this year. I moved to Atlanta because life was going downhill fast in California. Also, I’ve wanted to live in the South for a long time.

However, I’d be lying if I said this trip wasn’t also a scouting trip to see if I should move back. James 1:16 comes to mind, “But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind.” That’s me. Wavering like a koala bear way high in a eucalyptus tree in a hurricane.

The hard thing is I have all the freedom in the world. I have no wife or kids, no debt, and money in the bank. I truly have the freedom to do whatever I want. I just want to do what’s right.

One of my life verses happened to be in this morning’s devotional from my church, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3:5-6. This is great advice, but I need God to work at microwave speed, but I’ve never really known him to do that.

I could have a good life in either place. Things in Atlanta are coming together. However, there’s unfinished work in California. Praying for God to nudge me one way or the other.

Welcome to the inside of my head. I rarely let people in here. Have a good day.

What I’m most proud of about this curriculum is it’s not normal, dry or boring. We did our best to tackle a tough issue (sin) with innovation. We definitely met the goal. We even got awarded the Editor’s Pick and became a Staff Favorite.

You can purchase this 3-week curriculum at Download Youth Ministry.

[Click here to download a sample or purchase Hamartia!]

Details

DYM Editor’s Note: This is a really solid series. It has a fun and memorable theme, and it consistently finds creative ways to involve students in the curriculum. The scripts are well-organized and easy to follow. Overall, a top-notch resource.

It’s not a surprise in our world today that students would have very lax views of sin. They’re bombarded with ideas that are opposed to God’s way of living, and they’re exposed to alternative ways of living as the new normal.

Hamartia! is a high-energy, three-week series that helps students use a variety of learning styles to consider how sin may be holding them back in their spiritual growth. It then helps them learn how to deal effectively with sin for the long haul.

The goal of these lessons is to get students to live life for Christ more intentionally, as well as evaluate the decisions they are faced with every day.

Each lesson contains: 
1. A leader guide with plenty of explanation for each element of the program 
2. A low-prep game at the opening of the program. Each game is actually an object lesson that gets revealed in the closing part of the program. 
3. Three discussion groups for students to break into. Each group takes a different aspect of the night’s lesson to present to the large group. 
4. Closing comments

This Resource Includes:
• 3 Week’s Leader Guides (manuscripts)
• 3 Discussion sheets for breakout groups
• Object lessons 
• Artwork

I decided I needed to sit, rest and just take the song in. Almost immediately, an alert lit up the screen on my phone. Now I’m in phone mode with the song playing in the background. About a minute in, I’ve missed a lot of the song.

I was a little bummed, but also had to laugh at myself. I was feeling kinda foolish that I had paused for a good reason, then allowed the moment to pass by and be missed. How many times do I (we) miss moments with God throughout the day because of our own version of ADD?

Just passing along a reminder that came across loud and clear to me today, let’s not miss the love of the Father because of distractions that aren’t worth our time in the moment.