Vivian Fragale - Blog http://www.vivianfragale.com/ en vivianfragale@rogers.com Copyright 2009 2009-11-17T22:20:38-05:00 VivianFragale-Bloghttp://feedburner.google.com SPECIAL OFFER! http://www.vivianfragale.com/blog/post/special-offer/ http://www.vivianfragale.com/blog/post/special-offer/#When:22:20:38Z I am an Adler Trained Coach (ATC) now working toward the next level of certification. In order to complete the required client hours, I am dedicating the next 6 months to coaching clients at a reduced rate of $30/hour compared to my normal rate of $60.
 
This offer is valid only until April 30, 2010 and consists of the following:
 
-A minimum time commitment of 3-5 hours
-Weekly or bi-weekly sessions available
-In person or by telephone (30 min sessions if by phone)

If you are interested, please call me at 416-457-6650 or email me at contact@vivianfragale.com

Thank you,
Vivian

]]> 2009-11-17T22:20:38-05:00 Another way to approach life http://www.vivianfragale.com/blog/post/another-way-to-approach-life/ http://www.vivianfragale.com/blog/post/another-way-to-approach-life/#When:14:59:31Z Is it really necessary to “take the bull by the horns”? Does everything need to be a fight or a struggle? Newton’s Third Law of Force says that force in nature always exist in pairs. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. If we attack something, then by law, something will attack us back at equal force. It sounds Karma-like. Doesn’t it? If we apply that law to our lives, what would happen if we were to yield to that which causes pain or distress?  What might happen? It’s not the way we normally operate and it may sound counter-intuitive, but then again, the way we have been operating hasn’t quite delivered the results we want. Maybe non-violence towards others and towards one’s self is the way to go.

]]> 2009-09-22T14:59:31-05:00 “Love after Love” by Derek Walcott http://www.vivianfragale.com/blog/post/love-after-love-by-derek-walcott/ http://www.vivianfragale.com/blog/post/love-after-love-by-derek-walcott/#When:13:57:22Z The time will come,
When, with elation,
You will greet yourself arriving
At your own door, in your own mirror.
And each will smile at the other’s welcome
And say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again this stranger who was your
Self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
To itself, to the stranger who has loved you
All your life, whom you have ignored
For another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
The photographs, the desperate notes,
Peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

~ Derek Walcott

]]> 2009-08-13T13:57:22-05:00 Complimentary Sessions http://www.vivianfragale.com/blog/post/complimentary-sessions/ http://www.vivianfragale.com/blog/post/complimentary-sessions/#When:23:05:19Z The best way to learn about life coaching is to experience it first-hand. I am offering a free session to the first 5 people who contact me between now and August 31. If you are interested, or know someone who might benefit from a session, please call or email me. Also, please share this information with your female contacts. We often work through challenges alone and you may be connected to women in need of support. Thank you and I look forward to connecting with you.

]]> 2009-08-10T23:05:19-05:00 Life as a creative expression http://www.vivianfragale.com/blog/post/life-as-a-creative-expression/ http://www.vivianfragale.com/blog/post/life-as-a-creative-expression/#When:14:02:08Z Life is a creative expression of one’s spirit. To live creatively I believe one must live in accordance with one’s inner vision or calling. It benefits no one to follow some predetermined path dictated by others whether they are family, culture, society or religion. We are all on different paths. By living creatively we follow nature’s cycle of birth, death and rebirth knowing that there is a time for everything. There is a time to move forward and take action and there is a time to slow down and retreat. Where are you today in this process and how might you experience it more fully without resisting it?  Life is a creative process. If you want to create something new in your life you need to plant the seeds and nurture the soil in order to reap the benefits. Sometimes we want to skip the middle step which is the most important of all.

“People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.” ~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

]]> 2009-08-06T14:02:08-05:00 Cultivating Beauty http://www.vivianfragale.com/blog/post/cultivating-beauty/ http://www.vivianfragale.com/blog/post/cultivating-beauty/#When:23:56:00Z What does Beauty mean to you? What is truly beautiful in your life?

In Eckhart Tolle’s, The Power of Now, he says that “beauty arises in the stillness of your presence.” It never occurred to me that stillness gives birth to beauty but it makes sense because beauty is cultivated from within our being, which, at its deepest level, is quiet and still. That which we judge as beautiful in the external world is really an outward expression of the beauty that lies within the artist or creator. Also, when we see beauty we are also seeing our own beauty reflected back to us. It’s a sort of recognition. At times, the beauty I see in another person is the beauty I fail to see in me. However, one cannot truly experience another person’s beauty unless they have held a space for their own.

How can you nurture stillness in your life and what potential for beauty does that hold?

]]> 2009-07-28T23:56:00-05:00 The experience of loneliness http://www.vivianfragale.com/blog/post/the-experience-of-loneliness/ http://www.vivianfragale.com/blog/post/the-experience-of-loneliness/#When:00:36:35Z What does it mean to feel lonely? The experience of loneliness is more about being disconnected from one’s self and one’s source of power.  It has little to do with the absence of another person whether that person is a romantic partner, a friend, a family member, or a child.  One may feel lonely even in the presence of many.

The cure for loneliness is to develop a stronger relationship with one’s self by engaging in activities that nurture one’s spirit and that create a sense of vitality.  It’s about engaging more deeply in life. If I am lonely and want to attract more people into my life, then maybe the answer is to create a life that others are drawn to. What do I have to offer others? In what ways would I enrich another person’s life?

In his book entitled The Heart of the Soul, Gary Zukav discusses our “search for salvation”. He says that “saviour searching is the effort to locate an individual or circumstance that can deliver you from your discomfort. The search may be for a perfect mate, home, job, or automobile. The salvation appears to come from different sources for different people. In no case does the salvation come from within.”

When we search for others to cure our loneliness we enter an unhealthy pattern of relying on others to fulfill a deeply held need that can only be fulfilled from within.

]]> 2009-07-14T00:36:35-05:00 Carrying life’s burdens alone http://www.vivianfragale.com/blog/post/carrying-lifes-burdens-alone/ http://www.vivianfragale.com/blog/post/carrying-lifes-burdens-alone/#When:01:45:31Z I just recently tried Thai Massage for the first time. Not only did it physically feel good, it was also an enlightening experience for me that I would like to share with you. This technique incorporates aspects of yoga, acupressure, rhythmic flow and martial arts to provide a gentle release of stress and tension as it stretches and tones the muscles. With this particular technique you have to give the individual all of your weight so that she can stretch and move you into different body positions.

The therapist was very intuitive. Because I have a tendency to hold onto stress and tension, I had a difficult time giving her my weight to carry. About halfway through the session she asked me whether I tend to carry the burden for others and whether I allow others to carry my burden at times. She said I can’t always hold others and at times I need to allow others to hold me as well. Her comment really struck a chord in me and actually made me sad for a while.  I asked myself, “in what ways do I keep people at bay because I think I need to do everything myself?”

This experience was a reminder to me that we don’t always have to carry life’s burdens alone and at times we can allow others to hold a space for us in their hearts as we deal with our own stuff. We can allow others to lend a helping hand. It is not necessary to be in control of every aspect of our lives, but rather trust in our own experience to guide us to the people, places and opportunities that will serve our highest good and the good of others.

What would happen today if you relinquished some control and allowed others to provide assistance as you walk along your path? How might your experience of today change? What new experiences might come your way? Who will you become as a result of doing so?

]]> 2009-06-19T01:45:31-05:00 Seeking refuge in creativity http://www.vivianfragale.com/blog/post/seeking-refuge-in-creativity/ http://www.vivianfragale.com/blog/post/seeking-refuge-in-creativity/#When:23:34:59Z I view creativity as both a symbolic process, as well as an integral part of one’s life journey. For me, it is symbolic because it has mirrored my own spiritual journey. I discovered beadwork and jewellery making a number of years ago and since then it has led me to a deeper place within myself. At times I treat myself the same way that I treat my craft. I disown, obsess over and toss out those aspects of myself that I perceive to be less than perfect. I have obsessed over every piece of jewellery that I have created over the years, whether it was because of an imperfection in a stone or because a bead was out of place. I have come to realize that these imperfections are what make my craft interesting and contribute to the beauty of the whole just as those desires, emotions and thoughts that we tend to hide from others are a part of who we are. Instead of disowning them, how about allowing them to co-exist with other aspects of our selves?

My craft is not only an expression of who I am, but also an expression of who I wish to become. It gives me a glimpse of what is ahead for me. It expresses who I am better than I can say with words. It’s creative, non-verbal communication. What I cannot say in words I express in design. My craft ultimately reflects my spiritual journey as I integrate aspects of myself to create the totality of who I am. By allowing aspects of myself to co-exist I give myself permission to express those parts. My craft expresses my values, beliefs and yearnings. It expresses my passion and desire for simplicity, grace and beauty.

I find it interesting that various forms of creative therapy have emerged over the years, including dance, art and music therapy. Creative activities lift us and open channels for life energy to flow through us. It makes the journey easier. It cushions the fall. When we engage in the creative act we have direct access to our innate healing powers. In a state of creativity we enter a place where it is OK to be who we are, where our natural desires are safe to surface. As we seek refuge in creativity we are ultimately seeking refuge in our souls.

If you would like to read more about creativity as it relates to spirituality, please read Julia Cameron’s books, The Artist’s Way and The Vein of Gold. They are inspiring books filled with many insights into the creative process.



“The process of creative emergence is a process of energy expansion. Wherever our energy is blocked by denial, the buried emotions and information need to be allowed to surface. Our original self seeks to break free so that our creative energies can move into expression. We are not cracking up under the pressure of self-exploration. Instead, we are cracking open a self-concept that has become confining and claustrophobic to our spirit.” ~Julia Cameron

]]> 2009-05-20T23:34:59-05:00 In search of abundance http://www.vivianfragale.com/blog/post/in-search-of-abundance/ http://www.vivianfragale.com/blog/post/in-search-of-abundance/#When:00:32:25Z I came across the following quote this morning:

“The life each of us lives is the life within the limits of our own thinking. To have life more abundant, we must think in limitless terms of abundance.” Thomas Dreier

Thoughts can be productive, but they can also serve as obstacles to realizing who we are and what we are capable of achieving. Our thoughts are tied to our beliefs. We will think in ways that are in line with our beliefs. If I believe something to be true, regardless of whether it is or not, I will follow a line of thought that reflects the belief. I will also act and behave in ways that validate the belief and I will filter out all other experiences that disprove the belief. Our beliefs shape our world. Challenging our beliefs is frightening because as we do so we run the risk of our self concept and our concept of the world crumbling. This is a risk because it forces us to move away from what we define as safe. It also forces us to take responsibility for our lives and to make conscious choices based on what is possible as opposed to what has always been.

At times when I feel my life closing in on me, I wonder whether it is the result of thinking too small and clinging to beliefs that no longer serve me. I realize these are my personal blocks. It’s frustrating but exciting at the same time to know that things are possible if I can only expand my concept of abundance by being receptive to new thoughts, ideas and experiences.  If I can take the raw materials of my life, including my disappointments and perceived failures, and reinterpret the messages they have to offer, then just maybe I can use them as a launching pad to something greater. We can treat disappointment as an obstacle or we can look at it as a lesson to be learned, which allows us to rise above its negative emotional charge, transcend it and extract its wisdom.

A close friend of mine once asked me whether I have the courage to live my life. It’s an important question because to me it asks whether we have the courage to move beyond what we think is possible. It’s about having courage to see beyond the limits of our own thinking. What if we removed the veil through which we view life and our personal circumstances? What would we then see that we are now blind to?

Personal Inquiries:
As you examine your own life, how is what you see and experience the result of your own thinking?
What new thoughts do you need to think in order to produce something more desirable?
What would it look like to have life more abundant?
What are you willing to change in order to have more of it?

Recommended Reading:
The Mandala of Being: Discovering the Power of Awareness, Richard Moss, MD

]]> 2009-04-29T00:32:25-05:00