Image by Danny Choo.

I’m always excited when former Amazon site manager Danny Choo goes to a convention (such as Tokyo’s Wonder Festival). He takes fabulous photos, the images are typically naughty in nature yet not explicit, and he features them in elaborate blog posts that are often festooned with hilarious commentary. Don’t miss his just-posted Wonder Festival Booths photo post that has images in large sizes presenting great detail on jaw-dropping figurines; you can find the whole huge set in this Flickr album or watch the slideshow below.

Image of filthy padded (silicone) mousepads by Danny Choo.

I’m not a particularly craft-focused girl (I prefer machinery) but when a reader sent me this fabric from an Etsy seller, I had to share my delight. Our reader domesticat writes,

There’s an etsy seller — obviousart, in Oregon — who got a contract to do some line art for a condom distribution company. No idea which one. She retained the rights to her drawings afterward, and has made them available on fabric. Her etsy shop has the fabric, plus a pair of boxers made from the fabric. It’s also available directly from Spoonflower.

I love this. It makes me laugh. There’s almost no quilt fabric out there that isn’t completely G-rated, and I love that it’s just bright and sunny and delightful. This fabric’s going in the quilt I’m making for myself — I’ve joked that it’s great to have a cheatsheet that keeps you warm.

Tonight while perusing Nerve’s always-fantastic premium member galleries (use my press account — login: nervepress pass: nerve520), I got lost in the dreamlike world of erotic photographer Duncan Hall. The photos in this post are from his Flickr page; you can find Nerve’s recent Hall gallery here, and he’s on Last.fm here. I picked some particularly hypnotic set pieces of his for this post, and there are more after the jump.

A short seasonal video from Clayton Cubitt aka Siege. (Thanks, C!)

In January, I taught a class on sex ed and online media, including brand presentation, social media hacks for individuals and organizations, and working toward viral content. It was one of my best talks. The first of SFSI’s public continuing education classes (aimed at sex educators), it was standing room only and sold out — they sadly had to turn people away and close ticket sales. I was excited to see all kinds of sex educators in the audience, and thrilled to answer questions about online presence from Planned Parenthood. I am sad that some people I really love — and put the presentation together in mind for — couldn’t make it, but thanks to my request to film the talk, I can now share it with them, and with you. It’s now a free roadmap for anyone to make the most of. That’s called open source sex, friends. So, in five parts embedded in this post is my Sex Ed and Viral Media class. At least watch the first video; it’s pretty fun. Some of you will find the information to be very basic about online presence; you also might be surprised at how much I reveal about my own online branding hacks and tactics in the effort to get sex ed into mainstream consciousness.

I posted the slides on Slideshare, where you’ll find my talk text/notes; as you’ll see if you watch the whole talk, the notes were just my starting point. I’ll have an audio (MP3) version for podcasting soon. I hope you find this to be a valuable tool.

Image of my just-released collection, Best of the Best Women’s Erotica.

Wow, 2011 seems so much like it’s in “the future”. It’s amazing, I didn’t think I’d be with this series so long: I honestly walk away from, and hand off projects when I fall out of love with them. Nope, still love it! And it looks like Best Women’s is the longest relationship I’ve ever been in… Please so join me! I just put up the fresh call for submissions for this longest-running, award-winning, best-selling women’s erotica collection, which I’m honored to edit for another year.

Do read the guidelines and information that’s posted on The Erotica Readers and Writers Association, which I’ve reposted in full after the jump (below). I’ve also added links to several podcasts of stories from the past two years of Best Women’s — erotica and introductions, enjoy!

Call for Submissions:

Best Women’s Erotica 2011
Editor: Violet Blue
Publisher: Cleis Press
Deadline: May 1st, 2010

Please note: Publisher has final right of refusal on all submissions. Payment is upon publication, plus 2 copies of the book; pub date is November 2010.

Best Women’s Erotica is a legendary and groundbreaking yearly series, and is the best-selling women’s erotica collection, period. Every year BWE raises the bar for explicit erotica written by and for women, penned by the most exciting female authors, from around the world.

This edition (BWE 2011) is selected and edited by Violet Blue. In this edition, we are looking for fictional stories that seek to push the boundaries of female sexuality, present realistic fantasies and situations, and break taboos. The sex acts depicted must be explicit and realistic in detail. A strong focus on character, predicament, and compelling situations is desired — smart, literate erotic fiction. The desired orientation within the main sexual element of the stories is primarily heterosexual, yet bisexuality and lesbian encounters are also encouraged. The primary focus of sexual activity must be on the female experience; female pleasure is the main element. A playful, clever approach is welcome, as are intense scenarios.

Both editions of BWE ‘06 and BWE ‘07 won the Independent Publisher award for Best Erotica Book. The BWE editions ‘06, ‘07, ‘08, ‘09 (and just-released ‘10) edited by Violet Blue are very different from past editions — please read a few stories from any of those years of Best Women’s Erotica or the introductions for examples of tone. Dark themes (such as breakup, jealousy, infidelity and death) must be exceptional in content for acceptance and are *least* desired. Do not send sci-fi, poetry or fantasy fiction.

Established authors and newcomers alike are welcome.

Desired themes include: Women’s sexual fantasies and experiences of all kinds, such as taboo sex acts, fantasy scenarios (real or imagined), bondage, fetish, male anal penetration (such as strap-on play), first-time experiences, light S/M, exhibitionism, power-play, voyeurism, public sex, seduction, role-play, spontaneous sex, spanking, erotic punishment, sexual surprise, emotional honesty, desire, longing, lust, passion, female fierceness, power (and power struggles), deviousness, meaning, themes that involve the Internet and technology, and sublime humor. Above all, include explicit sex.

Paste your story submissions into emails and send to: cleisbook at gmail.com

Editor’s notes: If you send an attachment, I will delete your email immediately. I am not accepting paper submissions. Only three submissions per author. Word count: 2500 to 4500 words is the desired range. You must include your name, a short bio, mailing address and main contact email address with your submission. No simultaneous submissions (you will be disqualified with no hesitation if you submit the story to multiple publications), and no reprints. Excerpts from already-published, full-length books will be considered. Authors must be female; sorry, no male authors writing under pseudonym. Because of the volume of submissions last year (literally hundreds), I likely won’t be able to respond to your submissions until June. Please only use the cleisbook at gmail.com address for correspondence about this book.

Best Women’s Erotica 2010 is incredible, and I got to work with some truly amazing authors (and enjoyed making new discoveries). Do understand that I get a lot of stories, and read each and every one. I appreciate your patience in advance!

For tasty examples of the stories I select for this series, here is some free audio excerpts to get you in the mood:

In Open Source Sex 71, I give you a taste of each story in my handpicked, heart and soul collection of the best erotica by women, for women that the globe has to offer. It might be the most daring entry in the series yet. I also explain why I don’t put all of my Open Source Sex podcasts on iTunes…

* Click here for the podcast post and to download the MP3 audio file. (violetblue.libsyn.com)
* Click here to listen to the podcast right now in my website’s audio player.

This is it — the story I alluded to on twitter when I was editing the book which became infamous before I was even done with the manuscript. It’s one of my favorite stories from the collection: the Apple Genius Bar tryst. In Open Source Sex 72 I read Emerald’s story “Shift Change” where a woman goes in for MacBook Pro repair and gets better service than anyone could imagine. It’s amazing that those Geniuses can do, indeed.

* Click here for the podcast post and to download the MP3 audio file. (violetblue.libsyn.com)
* Click here to listen to the podcast right now in my website’s audio player.

Bonus: listen to an unforgettable from Best Women’s Erotica 2009 (also UK). After hearing “Fly” by Valerie Alexander you’ll never look at Peter, Wendy and Tiger Lily the same way again, and I think it’s one of the hottest stories I’ve ever read.

* Click here for the podcast post and to download the MP3 audio file. (violetblue.libsyn.com)
* Click here to listen to the podcast right now in my website’s audio player.

This caught me by surprise — and I expected to click on it and read harsh criticism. Why? Maybe because I really wrote this book differently than the rest, or maybe because I need to write *more* books… Or maybe write in more styles that stretch me, make me take risks. Like this one did. At least this seems to be a risk that’s really rewarding me in praise!

Independent book review site BookWenches (great name!) really examined my new guide Seal It With A Kiss (UK; Kindle) and came back with this:

(…) Ms. Blue writes with a friendly, almost confiding tone, as if to say “listen up, girlfriend, and I’ll show you how it’s done right.” And while she comes across as an authority of the subject, she never talks down to her audience. The tone is not “oh you poor loser, let me help you get it right,” it is “girl, get your bad self and killer kisses out there and knock ‘em dead!”

I found myself grinning constantly as I read this wonderful little book. In addition, as well as it being a source for humorous and engaging advice, I believe this title could prove to be a valuable addition to the bookshelves of romance authors. It might help those who wish to add a little additional fun and realism to those fictional smooches.

Until I read Seal It with a Kiss, I never thought much about kissing technique. Just pucker up, baby, and go for it, I thought. But now I find myself eager to experiment on my unsuspecting husband. And I wonder…should I sneak up on him with a Mack Attack? Charm him with Angel Kisses? Become the ultimate Snuggle Bunny? Is this going to scare the hell out of him after so many years of marriage? Probably so! But I’m starting to think that perhaps under this forty-something, frequently overworked and overtired exterior there may lie a maven of mack waiting to emerge. Poor man will never know what hit him. (…read more, bookwenches.com)

Image by the talented helenaa75.

For your Saturday afternoon perusal, friends at SFSI just sent me Alternet’s The Six Weirdest Things Women Do To Their Vaginas. It’s a compelling, well researched article. Here’s a snip from the start:

What the hell is vaginal rejuvenation? Who would want their vagina bleached? Here’s a list of the strangest ways to make your genitals meet the demands of the beauty industry.

What’s wrong with your vagina? If you answered “nothing,” you’re probably wrong. According to the beauty-industrial complex, it’s ugly, and it smells bad. But don’t worry– there’s nothing that money can’t fix.

1. Problem: Your Vagina Smells Bad
Solution: Vaginal Deodorant

In the seventies, Massengill tried to marry feminism and its vaginal deodorant spray (”With Hexachlorophene”) in an ad that declared the product to be “The Freedom Spray.” It was “…the better way to be free to enjoy being a woman. Free from worry about external vaginal odor.” Because you’re going to need that time you used to spend worrying about your vaginal odor to flirt your way through the glass ceiling. Oh, and Hexachlorophene? It’s a disinfectant that can be lethal when absorbed through the skin. In 1972, it was added to baby powder in France due to a manufacturing error and killed thirty-six children.

In case you think vaginal deodorant is a relic of the past, just take a trip to the drug store. (I did, and I took notes. The staff of my local Walgreens is convinced that I’m both very thorough and that my vagina smells really bad.) There are several kinds of vaginal deodorants still for sale (Walgreens even manufactures a generic version). You can buy scented vaginal suppositories called Norforms in Island Escape and Summer’s Eve Deodorant Spray in Island Splash. (Norforms contain something called Benzethonium chloride, which is also used as a hard surface disinfectant for fruit and classified as a poison in Switzerland. Exotic!) And you can buy FDS (Feminine, Discreet, Sensual) Spray (”For the woman who cares.”) in a myriad of scents including Sheer Tropics and Fresh Island Breeze.

Because if you really cared, you’d make your vagina smell like a poisonous island. (…read more, alternet.org)

Image by Tenebras Lux Studios.

What are they smoking Down Under on the censor boards? I mean, it was a mess before, but now it’s looking like… crack. Not the kind of ‘crack’ we like, either.

* I was sent this a few days ago: the top item this week is that Aussie porn gatekeepers hate real female orgasms, and only want to see chicks with big tits. The Australian Classification Board is banning porn with women who have A-cups (they claim itty bitty titties on adult women encourage pedophilia!) and porn that shows female ejaculation, a byproduct of orgasm for some women, stating that it is “an ‘abhorrent’ depiction” and classify it with… urine. Never mind that just last year Anna Span proved to the British Board of Film Classification that female ejaculation is real, natural and not urine — thus lifting their ban on showing this permutation of female orgasm. (theregister.co.uk, sfgate.com)

* The Australian anti-porn brigade must have some really good drug connections, because also this week, a man in Australia was recently convicted for possessing pornographic images depicting characters from The Simpsons and The Powerpuff Girls, and is now a registered sex offender. In this great article by Jacqui Cheng, we learn that Australians should probably just never go on the internet. (arstechnica.com)

* This is timely: Great Moments in Australian Censorship. (msnaughty.com)

* Today is the last day of The Great Australian Internet Blackout, a protest of the forthcoming mandatory internet filtering of refused classification content. The government is pushing forward with a plan to force Internet Service Providers to censor the Internet for all Australians. Hmm, what other countries have internet filters? China, Cuba, Egypt, Iran, North Korea, Saudi Arabia, Syria… I guess they could always just move to Jordan and have partial filtering and honor killings… (internetblackout.com.au, nocleanfeed.com)

Image by Bob Coulter from this gallery.

Erotic entertainment for the purpose of titillation has been missing from these posts for a bit; hopefully this post will restore some balance. I’ve got a lot stored up, and hopefully there’s something you like in the following very explicit handpicked selections I’ve made.

* Lazerbunny has tattooed Cerise Cyn in a smiley fellatio shoot; erotic photo luminary Bob Coulter shot this hot set with Mistress Astrid that just surfaced at SuperModernDomme. If you like the look and feel of Lazerbunny, here’s my tour code with plenty of freebees.

* Boys in trouble, girls having fun — in the UK, courtesy of the lovely ladies at PureCFNM (short for clothed female, naked male). Dave gets trapped under the bed while four women take advantage of his exposed bottom half; a well-hung nightclub owner loses control at the hands of four dancers; at the office five cute girls literally rip the clothes off the IT geek when he arrives to help solve their computer issues; handcuffed to a bed, a boy who was left as a present for girls’ night is made to orally please all the girls; and wow, three girls find out it’s really 12 inches long.

* Over at Explicite Arte (French glamour amateurs), it’s sweet and hardcore — Lola Bruna and Rico Simmons, Asian hottie Sharon Lee and Rico, and Lea Fast and Graziella seem to be happy size queens (with Tito F).

* Girls on girls only, please? Got you covered with Sapphic Erotica. Flash video: two blondes in bed licking; a pair of brunettes with fingers and toys; a pair in pigtails by the pool add a fist to the fun; and here’s some very soft and pretty lesbian candlelight lovemaking.

* If soft and pretty isn’t your style, there are some interesting shoots popping up over on Kink’s sites. On Divine Bitches, Madison Young joins forces with a domme and tops three men to cruelly “milk” them; this dominatrix has a cute dress; Mistress Madline’s live shoot looks intense. BDSM with sex: a man and woman dominate another girl; Ariel X tops Riley Shy; Lorelei Lee returns for an all-girl BDSM threesome; this “tax collector” scenario might get revisited in April. Hey — was this Public Disgrace scene shot at BrainWash cafe in SOMA? And I’m amazed at just how public this one is…

In case you haven’t noticed, I’m really good at finding free porn. Any requests for upcoming posts?

Jesse Jane, who is both adorable and super-sweet.

In yesterday’s San Francisco Chronicle column, I was excited to feature and interview NYC-based, erotic photographic couple Paulie and Pauline about their upcoming book “Off The Set“. It’s such a cool book, and it features a diverse group of porn performers showing us what it looks like when they have sex for love, not for work. Hot. It’s nice to see mainstream porn performers smiling so much, and while Madison Young and Lorelei Lee are always smiling, I can never get enough of that. Here’s a snip from Porn Stars in Love:

The first thing people notice when looking at excerpts from “Off The Set: Porn Stars and Their Partners,” a forthcoming book (publishing in April) of erotic photos and essays, is porn stars doing something seldom seen when porn stars have sex. They’re smiling.

Not all the photos in “Off The Set” depict sex, in fact many do not. Paulie and Pauline (paulieandpauline.com) are the dynamic photographic duo behind the book who’ve spent a lot of time around the mainstream and not-so-mainstream porn businesses throughout the last decade, shooting luminaries and aspiring luminaries alike. Their work has been published both in print and online (such as Nerve.com), appeared in several group exhibitions, and are in the permanent collections of the Museum of Sex in New York City and the Kinsey Institute for Human Sexuality.

In “Off the Set,” the photographers spend time with some of the most famous names in the porn business and performers of all genders and sexual orientations — when they’re not on set, that is. The stars are shown with their lovers and true loves, in their homes, in bed, fully dressed out on romantic dates, at the corner cafe, wherever Paulie and Pauline saw a moment between real-life lovers that came from the heart. And in the resulting photos, these moments are tangible.

Controversial, revered and well-known erotic photographer Barbara Nitke (link NSFW; “Kiss of Fire”, Kehrer Verlag, 2003) describes “Off the Set” as “a playful, insider’s view of [these] stars in a way they are never seen. Paulie & Pauline have given us a glimpse into the everyday, shockingly normal sex lives of these hardcore stars who look like they could be your next door neighbors.” (…read more, sfgate.com)

* This is the first time sfgate has run a gallery without complete photo attribution. Though I’m happy to see Buck Angel accepted in the selections I gave them.

This photo is not pornographic! Unless you want it to be. It’s just Jack and his new pony.

Two topics seem to be urgently circling back on news items we’ve been following here for a while. Neither will make you happy or horny, and for that I will promise to make it up to you, but they are important and need more media coverage.

* On January 29, 2009 in the San Francisco Chronicle I wrote Kids Charged for Child Porn (Violet Blue: When Teens Make Their Own Porn, Who’s Being Exploited?). It focused on three girls from Pennsylvania who had just been charged with manufacturing, disseminating or possessing child pornography — for taking half-nude self-portraits and texting them to male classmates. As I mentioned in my article, this has been happening all over the country; essentially criminalizing teen sexuality and (in my opinion) outright abuse of child porn laws. Now things have gone utterly, completely insane — and Radley Balko at Reason Magazine has the latest scary updates in Ruining Kids in Order to Save Them: The boneheaded logic behind treating “sexting” teens as child pornographers. (reason.com)

* April 14, 2009 I wrote “we’re just still living the waking nightmare of abstinence education in public schools” in Pull Out And Pray, and before that I wrote Obama’s national sex ed program: Violet Blue lays the groundwork for the candidate to save our kids from the evils of sex ed, once and for all. That piece went into RH Reality Check, the UN sponsored health and contraception news website. But this week it’s as if no one read the CDC’s report from last summer, which read Teen pregnancy and disease rates rose sharply during Bush years, agency finds. And now Congresswoman Louise Slaughter (D-NY) is talking about the need for comprehensive sex education programs after the release of a study yesterday indicating that 2006 was the first year since 1990 where teen pregnancy rates rose in the US. She better hurry up.

It is the new Vice Fashion: Work Hard, Play Hard men’s fashion shoot. When you are done, click your heels and say “Zoolander” three times. (thanks, viniow!)

“No one wants to see curvy women.” –Karl Lagerfeld

O, rly?

I’ve been looking for an excuse to point you to this month’s V Magazine’s Curves Ahead photo spread, featuring several sexily undressed models with more padding than the average couture coathangar — it’s a hell of a shoot that does not shy away from the undeniable linkage our brains make between taboo, size and female sexuality. It’s not for everyone: I’ve noticed that for every fan of my friend, popular porn star and fetish model April Flores, there’s someone who feels like fat babes touch a raw nerve, and their reactions are not nearly as pretty, polite or graceful as Fatty D. Case in point is the Sociological Images piece Contradictions In The Depiction Of “Plus Size” Model Crystal Renn. It appears that even as Glamour and Harper’s jumped on the plus-sized trend, they still felt squeamish enough about a fleshy female body to airbrush Renn smaller and smoother than in real life (missing the point of her allure altogether). (Tip: thanks Praemedia!)

We like women of all sizes and colors around here, even when we prefer one variation over another — I’ll always endeavor to post something for everyone with an eye toward refined porn and the enlightened consumer. But if you want more high-calorie hot sauce and less of these slimming words, check out Corpulent’s posts, Crystal Renn in Harper’s Bazaar Australia, May 2009 + Women I Love + Crystal Renn by Matt Jones (n00d!), Crystal Renn in Elle Canada, Jan 2010.

Do you have a favorite porn star or erotic model who is larger than most? Let me know…

Image by new discovery Johannes Schwab (joschwab.com).

It’s very nice to be back; Tiny Nibbles was up and down all day (thanks to everyone who let me know and sent me data), and it was more than a little heart wrenching. I tend to hyperventilate when something happens to my site; I’ve been hacked once before and that was a weekend of drama. Fortunately I’m on Laughing Squid with the help desk staff of my dreams, and somewhere in the background ninja elves restored my beloved home. And @dotBen did a ton of work sleuthing it out, too. I am very lucky.

In the meantime, surprisingly, the world continued. And coughed up a lot of really crazy sex news…

* A school district in Riverside County, California pulled all copies of Merriam-Webster’s dictionary from their shelves because it contains a definition for ‘oral sex.’ And we can’t have kids having their questions about sex answered with factual sex information, can we? (latimesblogs.latimes.com)

* I love, love, love Midori’s new column A Gentleman’s Guide to Online Sex. It’s packed with excellent profile do’s and dont’s, even the seemingly obvious ‘no cock shots’ suggestion, and profile examples. (carnalnation.com)

* Google’s Nexus One won’t tolerate your potty mouth; it censors profanity, whether you like it or not. “One other thing. I have a Croatian friend. If I ever got a Nexus One, I would like to be able to address him by his name. His name is Fuk.” (news.cnet.com)

* You can always just say really vile sex-laced insults in Cantonese instead thanks to this hilarious video tutorial. (youtube.com, thanks Viviane)

* Great comic by XKCD about data storage fetish. You know you have one. (xkcd.com)

* The best coverage of the Prop 8 trial (Perry vs. Schwarzenegger) is being done over at The Accidental Activist. Juicy and relevant, it features details we aren’t seeing in the press but should, such as “The biggest news of the day, however, is the plaintiffs’ exhibiting of a document showing the Mormon Church wanted to hide its involvement in Yes on 8 within the realm of “plausible deniability”…” (theaccidentalactivist.typepad.com)

* Keeping an eye on how the mainstream adult industry is going to reshape itself if it’s going to survive the next few years, there’s an informative article about Clips4Sale’s business model at xBiz. It reads a little like a regurgitated press release but it’s quite interesting. (xbiz.com)

* Gender nightmares coming true at the Olympics: the International Olympic Committee is calling for (shudder) “mandatory treatment” for athletes whose gender is “ambiguous.” This is so shades of sex reassignment surgery circa 1960s for intersex kids… I hope someone stops the IOC before they hurt someone. (nytimes.com)

* Condom thieves strike in Mumbai, while China is scandalized by counterfeit condoms — you just can’t win for losing your latex in Asia these days. Unfortunately some of the knock-off condoms have reached the US market. (weirdasianews.com, articles.latimes.com)

Photo by Chad Michael Ward.

We love Tumblr sex blogs because they are so diverse, a fertile place to discover hot new artists, and to see sexual expression we won’t see anywhere else; we hate Tumblr blogs because of the rampant attribution issues and frustrating lack of source credits. Oh, and they screwed me (not in the good way) while trying to get in their SXSW party. But some of my favorite erotic blogs are indeed Tumblr blogs, so I’m pleased as can be to see my top two faves featured on Tumblr’s brand new erotica category page in their directory list — and kudos to Tumblr for making the category! Yay! I forgive the party incident now. (thanks, Scott Beale/Laughing Squid!)

Image by helenaa75; if this was your profile pic you would be too busy for the OKTrends blog.

I love the OKTrends blog; dating website OKCupid has some brainy sexy nerds working there, for sure. They have a fetish for completing data and stat crunching projects about dating and member habits, with fascinating results. One of the really great things is that they are very sex-positive and openly write about sex with no judgment so we can see the data for ourselves and decide how we feel about, say, Utah’s interest levels regarding rape fantasies. Another great thing is that they carefully explain how they cull and define their data sets, and seem to have a ridiculous amount of fun doing so.

Case in point is today’s long-awaited post, which includes a favorable shibari pic, The 4 Big Myths of Profile Pictures. Here’s a snip:

Granted, the benefit of a self-shot photo is small (I’m not exactly sure what a guy’s supposed to do with that extra tenth of a girl he talks to), but given our expectations and the prevalence of advice against taking your own picture for a dating profile, we thought this result was noteworthy. Perhaps what these photos lack in technological quality they make up for in intimacy, and it’s undeniable that at their best, self-shot pics can have an approachable, casual vibe that makes you feel already close to the subject.

This finding led us to investigate a controversial women-only subset of the self-shot picture: the universally maligned “MySpace Shot,” taken by holding your camera above your head and being really darn coy.

We were sure that everyone thought these pictures were kinda lame. In fact, producing hard data on just how lame got us all excited. But we were so wrong.

In terms of getting new messages, the MySpace Shot is the single most effective photo type for women. We at first thought this was just because, typically, you can kind of see down the girl’s shirt with the camera at that angle—indeed, that seems to be the point of shot in the first place—so we excluded all cleavage-showing shots from the pool and ran the numbers again. No change: it’s still the best shot; better, in fact, than straight-up boob pics (more on those later).

At least from the perspective of online-dating, and perhaps social media in general, the MySpace Shot might be the best way for a woman to take a picture. (…read more, blog.okcupid.com)

If you’re reading this blog post on eros.topnewsdigest.com, it has been stolen and reproduced without permission from tinynibbles.com. Yes, I’m going to do something about it. They are stealing from a number of sex bloggers.

In other, erm, news, I found a link to The Top 10 Most Bizarre Sex Ed Videos, which I have re-titled the most creepiest sex ed videos because I think that if I was to play one for my cat, who is neutered, he would be made to feel deeply uncomfortable. And these films were originally made to show to kids, as nonfiction! Kids who likely grew up to dictate abstinence policies in public schools, or testify at Prop 8 hearings… Watch them with friends and a cocktail, and laugh. Snip:

2. No One Knows When The Homosexual Is About
This is a 1950s video that warns kids to avoid older members of their own sex who are too friendly because those people might be sick in the head. The sickness? Homosexuality. How does one spot this dreaded homosexual? Well, it’s not easy because *cue dramatic music* he may appear NORMAL.

7. A Girl Has Three Holes Between Her Legs
(…) The weirdest moment is at 1:14 when you see the accurate diagram of the female anatomy the student’s been working with and how her perception of a naked woman will forever be that of an unhappy, grown-up member of the Peanuts Gang. (see the rest, ranker.com, via Our Kitchen Sink)

A moment of fetish fashion and general ogling: meet Chicago-based House of Bias. I stumbled across HoB on Twitter and spent considerable time thumbing through their generous, fleshy, nippletastic galleries and online shop; not only do they have some of the most creative and attractive jaw-dropping rubber couture, but they don’t cover up their models and let us see how the garments flatter and expose the women and men wearing their stunning designs. Very nice. I love indie designers.

I’m thrilled to officially announce that my newest book is out, one that I wrote — Seal It With A Kiss: Tips, Tricks and Techniques for Delivering the Knockout Kiss (Amazon link). I only write one or two books a year (rather than the anthologies I edit like Best Women’s Erotica or Sweet Love, which average two a year). It’s a very, very complete guide to kissing and being kissed, and I’m extremely proud of it. It’s also totally adorable and funny, and has cute illustrations. What’s more, I’m ecstatic to brag that after being out for three weeks, the book is so loved already that the deal has already been inked for its first translation — Russian! Seal It With A Kiss is also out now in the UK, and available on Kindle.

It’s the art of kissing. It’s the art of seduction. It’s the book I always wished I had for first dates, makeout sessions, and when I’d go out with someone really hot… and find out they were a terrible kisser. It’s got exit strategies and fixes galore, along with kissing techniques that will close the deal when you want to reel in the babe of your dreams. It even tells you how to get close, how to give and get a first kiss, how to delay a kiss when you’re not ready, and how to tell if the person you’re with wants to be kissed. This is the first book I’ve written directed toward a female heterosexual audience. I’m sorry if that’s not you, though I think you might get something out of the information, despite the gender and orientation focus. I figured I should try it at least once…. :)

The table of contents and an excerpt is after the jump, so you know how it tastes before you dig in… Enjoy!

Contents

Introduction: The Perfect Kiss

Chapter 1: The Secret Society of Kissing Artists

What’s in a Kiss? • Kissing Kung Fu: Be At One with the Elements • Kiss Me Deadly, Darling: A Quiz

Chapter 2: Make It Happen: Get That Kiss Anywhere, Anyplace, Anytime

Waiting Is the Hardest Part • Does He Really Want It? • How to Get Him to Kiss You • How to Ask For a Kiss without Words • Making the First Move • Sidebar: First Kiss Do’s and Don’ts

Chapter 3: Your Mouth: He’s Gotta Have It

Hot Lips • Talented Tongue • Mouth Moves • The Wicked Kisser • Sex Up Your Lips, and the Rest Will Follow

Chapter 4: Kissing: A Field Guide

The Hunters and the Hunted • Types of Kisses • Sidebar: French Kiss Techniques • Scary Kisses

Chapter 5: Deliver a Knockout Kiss

Techniques • Appetizers • Dish of the Day • Dessert • Rock Your Body • Hot Spots

Chapter 6: The Rules of the Game

Kissing Do’s and Don’ts • About Hickeys and Love Bites • Kiss Catastrophes and Remedies

Chapter 7: Take Your Kissing to the Next Level

Tricks and Treats • A Smooch with a View: Best Movie Kisses • Flavored Kisses • Flavored Lipsticks and Gloss • Sidebar: Set the Mood with Music to Make Out By • Stubble Burn—and How to Avoid It

Chapter 8: The Make-out Artist

Create a Connection • Keep Your Confidence High • Build Tension • Accelerate His Attraction (without Giving Away Too Much) • Make-out Techniques: Light and Flirty or Down and Dirty

Chapter 9: Kissing Games

Party Games • Games Just For Two

Excerpt: Chapter 2 Make It Happen: Get That Kiss Anywhere, Anyplace, Anytime

(…) snip from midsection of chapter (…)

Waiting Is the Hardest Part

You might not kiss on the first date for a number of reasons—and he might actually be the one who wants to wait. If he asks to wait a few dates for a first kiss, honor his request with grace and a smile, and relish the thought that anticipation is building up mutually. Don’t worry about his reasons; they’re probably good ones, whatever they are. Don’t second-guess, either. He might simply just be shy! Feed the fires by being casually flirty in subtle physical ways—a touch on the wrist, or standing or sitting a bit too close. And if you’ve both agreed to wait for that fiery first kiss, you can cuddle, hug and breathe on each other’s lips, only inches away from each other.

Some of you might want to wait a bit for the first kiss to see if there is chemistry between you. Or, like any femme fatale worth the notches on her bedpost, you might want to make him wait simply to enjoy watching him squirm in erotic torment, willing to do anything for your first kiss. Clever smoochers might want to camouflage ill health, such as a flu allergies, by asking to delay the first kiss for a few dates, until you’re feeling better or know the potential kissee a bit better. Maybe you have already rushed to first base, or second or third, too fast for your own liking, and you want to take a bit more time to smell the roses.

It’s perfectly fine to tell him you want to wait a bit before your first kiss, or to wait until the third date. Reassure him that it’s not personal (he might feel insulted or insecure) and explain that you just don’t want to rush a good thing. Tell him that you’ll make the first move when you’re ready to enjoy it completely.

If you prefer not to announce your intentions, be sure to give him other signals that you’re interested; otherwise he’ll think you don’t want him at all. Yikes! Flirt with him, lightly touch his arm or hands now and then, brush against him a little when you walk down the sidewalk, make plenty of eye contact, smile a lot, and don’t be afraid to stand or sit closer than a regular friend might.

If he moves in for a kiss and you’re still not ready, place your hands flat on the front of his shoulders to gently, firmly stop him. Stay close, smile, and sweetly say, “I’m not ready yet. But I will be soon. It means a lot that you’re cool with that.” You can softly kiss his cheek instead. Some guys might not understand why you want to wait for a kiss. They might protest, get upset, be pushy, demand reassurance, or argue. The rotten ones will insist. (This is okay if you know that you enjoy a little playful protest in your romantic relationships.) But the guys who are truly worth kissing will listen and will want to understand your motives—and the really fun ones will want to draw out the anticipation and savor the first-kiss waiting game as much as you do.

Does He Really Want It?

Yes, hotpants, they all want you. But only give ’em a little nibble at a time. When sizing up your toy for a potential smooch, make sure he’s really ready for the close-up by looking for physical clues that reveal his readiness. Some guys will make it fairly obvious that it’s now or never by moving in for the kiss, but others will display unconscious physical signs to indicate readiness and kissability. And I’m not talking about what’s happening in his trousers. It’s especially essential to know what to look for with shy guys who want to be respectful of your kissing boundaries. Are you sending the green light? Often, they want to kiss us oh-so-badly, but they have no idea that we actually want them to kiss us! Also, it’s tough to tell if someone wants to go beyond friendship or not, especially when your judgment is clouded by your own attraction to someone you realize is becoming more than just a friend.

It’s up to you to figure out if he wants it or not. Does he call, text, IM, Tweet, or email you frequently? If you’re out together on a date or just hanging out, remember that he could choose to be spending his in-person time with someone else. But he’s with you. Put yourselves in a situation that would be an ideal time for a kiss, such as saying good-bye, and watch his body language closely for unconscious signs of attraction. Make sure you see two “kiss now” signals before you take the leap with your lips.

Just what are those signals? Prolonged and repeated eye contact is a sure sign of interest, and combined with close physical proximity is a sure signal of an impending kiss. If you catch him checking you out, bust him playfully with a smile that says “gotcha!” and flirt shamelessly, enjoying every moment. One careless glance from him isn’t enough, but if there is a second look, stay tuned for more. When his second look lingers for a bit, consider this an engraved invitation: you’ve got him right where you want him. If the eye contact is fleeting and you can’t tell if it’s intentional or not, wait to see if it happens more than once and look for another physical clue just to be sure.

Here are a few clues to look for:

Clue: Look to the lips. When people are tense or uninterested, they keep their lips clamped together. But when someone finds you hot and wants a smooch, their lips will part slightly in an inviting gesture. Like, smiling! Licking the lips (not in a gross or creepy way!) or touching the lips with a finger can indicate high kissing interest.

Clue: Unconscious imitation is someone’s way of showing that they’ll follow your lead, including up to the moment of a kiss. Watch and see if he mirrors your body language—legs crossed or uncrossed, the position of his hands and arms, shoulders squared to face you directly, and of course, mirrored facial expressions such as eye contact, smiling, and moving in close.

Clue: Close physical proximity. Arms brushing when you walk, a slight touch on the arm or hand, orbiting your stance in crowded rooms, standing so your shoulders touch, being just a half step closer to you than he would to someone who’s just a friend. Notice whether he’s keeping an eye on where you are and where you’re standing. Often, interested men will have conversations with others near you or (especially) right behind you. Another clue that precedes a kiss is for him to hold open a door for you in a way that intentionally has him leaning in close as you move past. This is a great opportunity for a smile—or a kiss.

How to Get Him to Kiss You

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with the direct approach. Some people love nothing more than to have their partner simply ask for a kiss. Have you ever hoped for a kiss, not gone for it or even asked for one, and then not been kissed? I can predict how well that technique is working for you. A girl or guy who’s a little bit (or a lot) aggressive when it comes to the sweet pastime of kissing gets what they want, and many women and men love a partner who isn’t afraid to take control.

Ask for that kiss:

“May I have a kiss, please?”

“Kiss me!”

“You can kiss me now.”

“I think you deserve a kiss for that.”

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“Can we kiss now?”

“Pucker up, buttercup.”

Asking for it is only one option for getting him to put those sexy lips right where you want them: on you. You don’t always have to ask with words; you can hypnotize him with a few super-sexy moves. Seriously. Even if you’re the direct-approach kind of girl, words may not be appropriate for the scenario you find yourself in; you may have to be quiet for some reason, or asking for a smooch outright may simply not be your style. No problem. Whether you’re shy or cunning, you have an arsenal of tricks to choose from.
How to Ask for a Kiss without Words

First, open up your body language so he can sense that you’re receptive for him to put the moves on you. Or that you’re even interested: you can convey a lot of interest just by the way you carry yourself. (…)

Image of Sharon E and Anna AJ from “Tongues” in Leonardo’s user generated gallery, where we see he’s collected galleries of twosomes

Seriously: whoever came up with the concept and execution of Met Art’s member generated galleries (and letting people vote the hottest ones up to the top) is pretty brilliant. It’s the perfect combination of giving consumers the ability to put together their favorite content, letting us see what people like most, democratizing the process, and then delivering the content itself — full resolution and large photos, no membership necessary. We just peruse what people like, and we get to see all of it. It’s perfect; I never feel like I’ve been teased by a bait-and-switch of tiny thumbnails. Free, handpicked fun. And I’m sure it’s working well for them as a business; their members are culling the best photosets and cutest models and cross-pollinating the content, constantly introducing each other to new reasons they might want to keep subscribing.

Enough of my nerdy porn business model excitement; get excited on your own and go check out the Met Art Top Voted Gallery Portal page I just found. Bookmark it and enjoy.

Just kidding. The comments on the NPLE LAZRZ!!! post at Gizmodo (where this timeless image, now burned into my brain forever, came from) are very worth reading. Do not miss. And if you like the hilarity of those comments, treat yourself to the comments on the Google Chrome goat transporter issue report.

Image of Liza in Paris by frenchy 3d.

* No, no, no NO! The constitution status of “sexting” is being tried in its first case, but with an awful note: the 15-year-old girl who sent a topless (not bottomless!) pic pf herself to a boy is likely going to be tried on *child pornography* charges. Have we all gone insane? Court asked to allow prosecution for “sexting” (reuters.com)

* Just came across, Pornheed, a user-focused free porn aggregator; they cull from all the big tube sites and have made a consumer-experience based social network around the concept. Has anyone joined? Do you like it? Looks smart to me… (pornheed.com)

* Single come Valentine’s Day? Maybe you don’t want to do the math around this… Math geek/economist Peter Backus actually did the math and the result is making for unhappy faces all around. He wrote the paper, “Why I Don’t Have a Girlfriend: An Application of the Drake Equation to Love in the U.K.,” and concluded that “The probability of finding love in the UK is only about 100 times better than the probability of finding intelligent life in our galaxy.” Ouch. Math Geek Comes Up With Equation to Explain His Lack of a Girlfriend (asylum.com, via JWZ)

* Max Potega emailed me to let me know he’s got a new book coming out that features his 3D erotic photography called The Devil’s In The Pixels; if you’ve got the glasses take a look at his online 3D fetish nudes gallery for a sample. (binaryexhibit.com)

* Did you come here for porn today? I found two galleries I liked today from Lazerbunny who is selling us altporn, even though now we’re ready for post-alt. Still, I think busty Angelica Meow is hot: here’s her newest photo set so you can get to know her better, then here she is with a gentleman friend. Meow!

* This week’s San Francisco Chronicle column was about the changing of the guardians at local alternative sex party institution Mission Control — it’s a fun read, with images, and many poeple really liked it. Kinky Salon’s New Style – Violet Blue: Mission Control to Major Tom: Groundbreaking sex-community entity Kinky Salon is under new management (sfgate.com)

If one were to pay a lovely lady to spank the stuffing out of them, I think one would want that lady to be smart and have a similarly smart website. While I can’t remember who sent me this (sorry! remind me!), I’ve clicked around Domina Rikka’s site “The Dirty Details” (mistressrikka.com) and think it’s one of the finer commercial BDSM landing spots I’ve seen. Why? Mostly because it’s so damn informative. Like the BDSM myth debunking page; accurate, succinct. The Types of BDSM page gets my highest marks — her styles are perfectly described so they’re clearly defined from an all-around perspective, and the best part (for me) is that she illustrates each permutation with a naughty and explicit short story. If it’s your flavor, I think you will find it tasty. Praise for a site well done.

* Domina Rikka appears to be located in Atalanta, Georgia, in case you’re wondering.

I just got back from the Eddie Colla show “Filling Space” and thought it would be cool to share with you. Eddie Colla (and crew) are dear friends, and they’re the diverse awesomeness behind 5733. If you care about these things, they are an all-gender, all-orientation enterprise and all shades of hot. The show tonight (still in progress, actually) was way sexier than anyone anticipated, so I took a bunch of photos. I wish I could afford the giant paintings, they’re exactly what I’d collect if I was rich and excessive. But I can afford the t-shirts and the love (doesn’t cost a thing) — I found out that the Anna May Wong 5733 t-shirt I wore to present at that giant web conference in Paris has the Chinese characters for “rebel” on it, which was perfect considering how all that BS went down.

Here are two fucking fantastic videos of Eddie ( + posse) at work making beauty. My realization for 2010 so far is that I’m really really lucky that my friends are also my heroes.