Vanity Plates: Creepiness in 8 Characters or Less

Arm Candy

2009-11-11T05:06:00.005-06:00

TROFYWIF (Trophy Wife) was captured by Bonnie R. A "trophy wife" is defined as:

A young, attractive woman married to an older, more powerful man. His role in the relationship is to be her sugar daddy and provide her with power and material wealth. Hers is to remind others that he is powerful or rich enough to be desirable to such a woman despite his age and thus to serve as a marker of this status -- hence the "trophy" part. A specialized type of gold digger.

Yes, something you definitely should brag about on your car. Great work on choosing a vanity plate, dimwit.

Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious State of Virginia

2009-11-10T05:52:00.002-06:00

Donna F. sent us this gem, SXY T1ME (Sexy Time?). She writes: My only thought was "oh my god that does NOT say sexy time! Oh glory, yes it does!"

I am going to take a guess and assume this motorist is a fan of the movie Borat. I can almost hear this driver now: My a-wife send me to Virginia to make license plate vanity. Please, come and see my plate. If it not success, I will be execute.

Great success!

How can I drive when you're in my way?

2009-11-09T13:38:00.003-06:00

Crazy Cat Lady Carm sent us this gem the other day. She writes: My son Eric just sent this one... I think this is the best one yet!

For those of you who need the definition, this says OMFGMOVE with translates to, "Oh My F*ing God, Move." You know what I also love about this photo? That Eric seems to be right on this guy's bumper enabling him to get this awesome photo. That way, we have a nice view of this driver's patriotic flag license plate holder. God Bless America.

Like, really, REALLY fast

2009-11-08T05:26:00.005-06:00

Amanda M. sends us GODSPD. She writes: It looks like it's supposed to be "God speed", but I first read it as "God SPED" (Special Ed) and I thought to myself "Hey! That isn't very nice..."

From wikipedia: Godspeed, as a word, is a wish for a prosperous journey, success, and good fortune... It is also used occasionally in a non-religious manner, intended as a wish for a job to be accomplished quickly.

Yeah, um, godspeed to me so I can get myself out of this vanity plate nightmare.

I can't think straight

2009-11-07T05:04:00.002-06:00

Miki P. sent us LESBIAN with this note: I took this photo at Burning Man, which is why everything looks so dusty. Note the correct spelling and complete lack of numbers substituted for letters. This is a California plate too, which makes me wonder how long this lesbian has been around to score that while it was still available.

Impressive.

NOBOYZ is from LadyStyx. I think this is probably referring to a family with only female children, but you need to understand that this is the lesbian post, so there it is.

Who will we the catch next with our gaydar?

No soup for you!

2009-11-06T05:44:00.005-06:00

Patricia caught this plate, ADOLPH2, in Kentucky. I mean, does this really mean what I think it does? Adolf Hitler? You have got to be kidding! And did you need to add that 2 because ADOLPH and ADOLPH1 were already taken? Are you serious? Maybe this kid is all grown up? Redonkulous, I tell you.

It's official. I H8 your PL8.

Redskins Fail

2009-11-05T05:29:00.004-06:00

The Washington Redskins are a professional American football team based in the Washington, D.C. area. Jason G. sent us this plate, 4SKINZ which I assume, based on this driver's decorative ribbon and specialty plate that he is, "For the Redskins."

HOWEVER, Sir, your vanity plate reads "foreskins."

Epic FAIL.

To Rule Them All

2009-11-04T05:44:00.003-06:00

Ah yes, the only reason I plan to have children -- I might need one of their kidneys some day. 1KIDNEY was snapped by Natalie B. who writes: A bit more information than I care to know about my fellow drivers...

Reminds me of Charlie the unicorn's trip around Candy Mountain.

All kidding aside, I just want to say that I think it's awesome these people have decided to put their organs on their license plates. To those who haven't been in a situation where a fresh organ is needed to save a life I know it might come across as a bit icky, but I think I kind of like it. LadyStyx captured NWLIVR (New Liver). I wonder if they know the Liver Giver?

For more information about organ donation please visit Donate Life America at http://www.donatelife.net/

Previous plates for a cause: We "support" your boobies.

Because you make it so easy.

2009-11-03T05:29:00.003-06:00

The person behind the blog No Wonder You're Single sent us this gem the other day, Y H8 ME (Why hate me?). I think if you have to ask, you probably already suck. Bonus points to this driver for failing to screw in the bottom part of his chromed-out eagle vanity plate holder (which clearly does not fit onto his car). I mean, at least they aren't using rusty binder clips.

Plus, it's questions like this that just make me want to chug my haterade. Every last drop. Glug, glug, glug.

I'm also fat with a "PH"

2009-11-02T05:14:00.004-06:00

Heather A. sent this plate into us with only one comment: I nearly died when i saw this.

Heather, you should have smelled it. Then you would have really died. A "phart," as far as I'm concerned, stands for "Pretty Hot And Rancid Toot." I can think of a few other misinterpretations, but then again, I don't want you to toss your cookies.

And because farts are always funny, previously:
So that's what that smell is...
Manners From A 2 Year Old
Fart: A Turd Honking For The Right Of Way
Now Running on Natural Gas
Fortunately... But Unfortunately...

For you and you, but not you

2009-11-01T06:04:00.002-06:00

Now that Halloween is over, let's get right with the Lord.

GODIS4U (God is for you?) comes to us from Wendy K. This plate is just dumb. I'm sorry.

Although, I guess it could be "Goddess For You."

But that is still stupid.

Get smashed

2009-10-31T05:25:00.005-05:00

Happy Halloween! We're going to celebrate today with our favorite gourd, the pumpkin.Or as MooseNuggette points out, this could mean something totally different: Maybe the guy pimps his relatives?

Oh how clever! Your car is orange! I haven't seen this before. Oh wait...

I have.

I think G8 PUMKN is supposed to mean "Great Pumpkin," but maybe you have one that guards your gate? Try an "R" next time (pirates will be grateful). Thank you Chevy for creating a color that inspires idiocy on vanity plates. I appreciate that.

Not pumpkin related, but we're on our last days of Halloween, so I thought this last one was appropriate, TRK TRET (Trick or Treat? I know, it's a stretch). Too bad this plate is only relevant one day of the year.

Hope you have a G8 time trick or treating.

Photo cred (thanks):

FLYNPKN & G8 PUMKN - Heather A.
TRK TRET - Karl M.

Don't knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run. He hates that.

2009-10-30T05:21:00.006-05:00

Continuing in our Halloween spirit LadyStyx managed to capture 6FTNDR (Six Feet Under). In case you didn't know, that is the term for being dead, referring to a grave dug six feet under ground. Pleasant.

MORB1D is from MooseNuggette. Why yes, that bumper sticker does say "I Brake For Cemeteries." Quite morbid indeed. I can only hope the driver of this vehicle blasts The Monster Mash at deafening levels where ever they go.

Trick or treet, smell my vanity. It smells great, doesn't it?

2009-10-29T05:20:00.005-05:00

Hopefully you'll see some of these characters on your doorstep this Halloween begging for treats. Too bad these specific people are stuck with the plates all year long. On with the creepy!

Yes, Lucifer (aka the Devil) drives a truck. You know what they say, don't you? The road to hell is paved in POORLY ABBREVIATED VANITY PLATES.

I knew of a 1985 Chevy dubbed "the ghost." It was called that because it just wouldn't die.

I'm terrified. Dark Dragon? Wooo I am so scared of your avatar! I wonder if you know Albi the Racist Dragon?
Might want to get that LOOKED at. Ha HA.

People, I have mountains of these. The Halloween Creep Fest continues tomorrow.

Photo cred (thanks):

LUCIFR 2 - Queendork76
GHOST4 and 3RDEYE - MooseNuggette
DRK DRGN - Katie O.
B000 - Brianne O.

Do not pass me on the right or I will EAT YOU NOM NOM NOM

2009-10-28T05:29:00.000-05:00

Talk about frightening - these plates have creepy written all over them.

I B1TE is from our friend up north, MooseNuggette. This car kind of looks like it'll make a meal out of your bumper, doesn't it? Kind of appropriate, but still, I would not want to meet this driver.
Virginia's leading platerazzo, LadyStyx, also found this disturbing bite plate, BITE BAC (Bite Back). First, as a person driving a mini van, when do you have people people publicly biting you? And second, if some psycho is biting you, what would possess you to bite back? If you have a personal preference for this sort of "behavior," a vanity plate on your caravan is probably the wrong place for it.

To us, nothing is scarier than your vanity plate

2009-10-27T05:49:00.000-05:00

Brianne O. sent in B-SKIRD (Be Scared?) and writes: Oh, yes, I'm so skird of rogue little blue cars!

I'm can't say I'm really afraid of this car either. Now, if the back was filled to the brim with stupid, misspelled personalized license plates... that would be a different story.

This week we are going to post a few more "spooky" plates leading up to Halloween, the skiryest of all holidays. I hope you fear them as much as we (and our spell check) do(es).

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.

2009-10-26T05:37:00.005-05:00

Kara writes to us: I took this picture with my cell phone last year in Tennessee, near Gatlinburg. My husband and I couldn't figure it out, is it named after her dog? Or is she pro the death penalty? I guess we will never know.

Here's a tip for this driver: If you put the word "killer" on your vanity plate, people are going to think you are, in fact, A KILLER.

So *very* creepy.

I probably would have gone with something that didn't have wood panels

2009-10-25T06:44:00.003-05:00

Meg G. sent in GODS PT to us for today's Lovin' the Lord Sunday. And yes, that is a PT Cruiser. Funny, it's also white which some might refer to as a "heavenly" color.

I thought God might choose a car with a little more class (zzzing!), but you never know. I mean, Jesus drives a black Escalade.

Don't act like you're not impressed.

2009-10-24T06:03:00.001-05:00

Melanie writes: On the way to Ave Maria Grotto in Cullman to right ourselves with God... Found this... Laughed inside... Catholics like it quiet.

From the wikitonary: Arrogant: [Adj.] Having excessive pride in oneself.

I guess a vanity plate was the next logical step, eh?

So basically, you hate hating haters.

2009-10-23T05:51:00.007-05:00

I am delighted to bring you this batch of H8 plates today. STP H8TN is from Katie O. That extra T makes my head spin. I mean, it's bad enough you use the 8, but last I checked "eight" includes an ending T. Maybe they are starting a new campaign against Tennessee? Stop. Hate. Tennessee.

NOH8N (No hatin') is from Gina T. I would have to disagree with this plate. YES IH8. STOP H8N (Stop Hatin') is from Tracie. She writes: They have a good reason for having this plate; they drive like a jackass and incur a fair amount of hate from me.

Hahaha, I can't stop "loving" this photo. Kerstyne writes: I saw this car while on campus and couldn't resist. I guess the DB that the car is covered in stands for some sort of purse company, but all I could think was Douche Bag.

Mmm, this grape haterade is *so* delicious.

I don't speed. I just get there faster than you.

2009-10-22T05:43:00.001-05:00

Here are the comments from the submitter of SPD TKT (Speeding Ticket):

Yep, it’s mine - I just get so many speeding tickets all the time...cops get a kick outta it. $1000 every 6/mo for insurance, meh.

There seems to be an easy fix for this.

PBFOT is a little trickier. Let me see if I can help you out. Pb is the 82nd element, lead. FOT, I assume, is supposed to mean foot. Put it together and you have Lead Foot. And I'm pretty sure most of the cops pulling you over will not think this is funny. (Photo snapped by Bonnie Z.)

And finally, another user-submitted photo from Dawn:

I can’t believe that you don’t have one TN tag in your collection. . . So I am sending you one – mine. And, yes, I pick one up.

Aaaaand Tennessee enters the game with a perfect addition to the vanity plate Hall-of-Shame. Congrats.

OMG! OMG! OMG! ... wait... I forgot.

2009-10-21T05:04:00.002-05:00

I've got to hand it to California for allowing special characters on their vanity plates: hearts, stars, plus signs and, yes, even hands. OMG JK is from Kendall, and I think the hand here is necessary because it adds that extra pause and attitude needed for its interpretation, and eventually, its immediate reversal:

Oh my god!! *jazz hands* ... Just kidding.

It's funny, but I would still be terrified to get anywhere near your car with my vehicle. Love tap, anyone?

BOCH, please

2009-10-20T05:50:00.003-05:00

Photo credit goes to Jean for FNBOCH, which I assume means effin' beotch. *shakes head in disappointment*

Gentlemen? Any takers?

...?

Didn't think so.

Don't be a gas-hole.

2009-10-19T05:06:00.001-05:00

Today's plate (EF-OPEC) I stumbled upon randomly reading blogs, and when I saw it, I was delighted. The owner, Tom M. has gratefully offered his pictures, and his story to our readers. He writes:

I'm part of a test program of electric Mini Coopers, there are 500 of us in CA, NJ & NY. I just got the plates a few days ago and I have had so many people beep and give me the thumbs up I can't believe it. I even have seen two people taking pictures of it while I'm driving, crazy.

That's right my friends, it's completely electric. Totally. freaking. sweet. As someone who is quite fond of Earth, I salute your efforts in advancing this technology and sharing your story. I don't usually say this about vanity plates, but I love it; It's like icing on the cake. Thanks for sending the pictures in, Tom. You can check out his blog of #250 here.

Happy Alaska Day, Lord.

2009-10-18T06:31:00.000-05:00

Yes, it's Alaska Day. It's also Lovin' the Lord Sunday. Let's combine the two for a wild party, shall we? Since I have only one platerazzi (maybe two) from Alaska, you won't be surprised that all of our plates came from MooseNuggette. She does an excellent job, however, bringing us the finest they've got.

I think this one is supposed to say Look To Him, but when you start taking out all those vowels, people can get creative, if you know what I mean.

(One Way, Jesus Christ?) Also, do not go the wrong way down a one way. Bad idea.

Thanks M'Nuggette!