“I am stuck on Band-Aids, ’cause Band-Aid’s stuck on me.”

This morning, I woke up with that little ditty going through my head (courtesy of Band-Aid® Brand Adhesive Bandages).

The thing is I always preferred Nexcare™.

*Crickets*

Yep, Nexcare™, the poor man’s Heinz® Ketchup of bandages, or, in other words, the equivalent of Hunt’s® Ketchup.

Image via Wikipedia

However, when it comes to ketchup, unlike bandages, I am a snob and will accept no substitute.

I go into a restaurant and see Hunt’s®, or, worse yet, House Recipe®, I turn and walk right out of the place. Me and my shadow never will cross its threshold again.

This post was brought to you by the Ketchup Advisory Board.

So are their brands with which you stick (pun intended) through thick or thin?

Counting backwards:

10. A Heluva Good race? Eh, not really, but Jimmie Johnson wrecked. Woo hoo!: The second part of a series about my father, sister and I going to our first NASCAR race.

9. The Story of Right Hand, Left Hand: A combination Patron of the Week and Flashback Friday post, on the subject of forgiveness, and my personal favorite of the month, so if you click on only one link (which I’d prefer you click on all of them, of course, but…), then click on this link.

8. The worst part of waking up: Another post about my father, sister and I going to Watkins Glen, but with coffee as the centerpiece.

7. Up jumped the boogity, boogity, boogity: The first part of the series on our going to the Heluva Good! Sour Cream Dips at The Glen earlier in the month.

6. Survey says: Classics can be “page-turners” too: The summation from a first part in which I asked, “Are ‘page-turners’ always ‘pulp fiction?‘ “

5. Patience for stupidity: Something I don’t have.

4. Introducing the Patron of the Week: Little Miss I-Don’t-Want-To-Pay-All-My-Fine-Because-(insert excuse here): Where I introduced my new series Patron of the Week.

3. Patrons, what a bunch of bastards: Which wasn’t a Patron of the Week part, but pretty much sums up the feelings of one of my co-workers on the subject of patrons.

2. Rachael Ray and her Glasgow smile: A post from April of this year where I was creeped out by Rachael Ray’s smile. Don’t believe me it’s creepy. Just look. I dare you.

1. Why can we defriend: A post from my new Facebook category in which I discuss the fine art of defriendship.

I also want to give special recognition to Chris for possibly the best comment of the month, in which he responded to another post from April of this year about my pet peeve of motorcyclists who ride motorcycles without helmets (scroll to the bottom of the comments for his well-thought out comment, with which I cannot disagree totally). I’m not sure if I’ll always give a special shout-out to a commenter every month, but in this case, I thought it was noteworthy that he had considered the post so thoughtfully. Thanks, Chris.

Also yesterday’s Motivation Monday post is still sitting there, waiting for a comment. Please stop by and give it a comment, so it doesn’t feel all lonely. Thanks in advance. :)

The beginning.

In the beginning, God created blah blah blah, but the most important thing he created next to man (and woman, of course) was this bean:

Image via Wikipedia

Without it, there would be no Juan Valdez and, more germane to this post than Juan, there would be no craving for its rejuvenating properties, especially in the morning…

…all of which brings us to my father.

On the morning of the day that we went to Watkins glen, my father was, as my sister puts it, “a bear,” and by that, she doesn’t mean a cute cuddly teddy bear. Quite the opposite. Without infusion of the liquid that is produced from the aforementioned bean, my father turns into this:

Image via Wikipedia

Only in my father’s case, he isn’t leisurely on the plain. He’s standing up on two feet and baring his teeth. However, when I mentioned to him that maybe we should stop for coffee, he denied his addiction:

It’s not the coffee. It just takes a while for me to get going.

which then escalated through stages, not dissimilar to the stages of grief:

Anger, especially after we pick up my sister and both she and I mention that maybe really we should stop for coffee: “I just want everybody to leave me alone.”

Bargaining: “I can stop anytime. I don’t need it.”

Depression: “I don’t even want to go to this race now.”

(Okay, that last part was my sister after not dealing with my father’s bear-like qualities at O-dark thirty.)

Acceptance finally did happen. “Okay, we’ll pull over here.” But still with a hint of denial. “…but it’s not because I need coffee. We need gas.”

However, after getting the gas and the liquid that is produced from the aforementioned bean, he turned into this:

Image via Wikipedia

Coinky dinks? Um, I don’t think so.

* I didn’t even mention my wife’s addiction to The Bean. That’s a whole other post for another time, which I’m sure, she can’t wait to read. Take above photo of grizzly bear and multiply by 1,000 for what she’s like without her morning coffee…oh, and yeah, they’re definitely standing and baring all their teeth.