tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5360418901482791931Thu, 05 Sep 2024 23:34:51 +0000minnow talesstoriespoemsbasementscoldcomicsdowagiacfanzinesgene daygodhumor studiesmount pleasantunsolicited advicethe view from dowagiachttp://uglyscott.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.com (Ugly Scott)Blogger90125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5360418901482791931.post-2160895445774309791Tue, 08 Dec 2009 02:02:00 +00002009-12-07T18:20:09.104-08:00and another sign of aging, reminding me that the way i look at my classmates and think how old they've become while i've stayed the same, is the way my classmates look at me and think the same.this weekend, after a bout of gambling (giving reparations to the tribe), four of us ended up at a local strippery. once made famous by nick nolte for hanging out there and stalking a stripper in full mug http://uglyscott.blogspot.com/2009/12/insults-from-3rd-string-strippers.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Ugly Scott)55tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5360418901482791931.post-3154670111825381385Sun, 15 Nov 2009 23:27:00 +00002009-11-15T15:35:35.225-08:00so much to report, but before i begin a rash of posts, i figure i should plug my friend elmer's efforts to cure cancer of the manly parts. i admire people who do charitable things. elmer volunteers, gets involved, cares. every so often i am able to shed some of my own guilt for not being as nice by sending a couple bucks to help one of his causes. his latest is growing a moustache for movember,http://uglyscott.blogspot.com/2009/11/moustache-is-hard-to-spell.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Ugly Scott)26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5360418901482791931.post-6731670055358443727Mon, 05 Oct 2009 23:44:00 +00002009-10-05T17:02:48.377-07:00saturday at the minnow, like many saturdays at the minnow--slow to start, then chit chat with employees diminishes as band sets up, people come in. out-of-towners and old people (like my age) first, then finally around midnight the fun crowd, back from weddings or parties or sleep, the people whose saturday evening never begins before a minute into sunday.so all was well and all was normal http://uglyscott.blogspot.com/2009/10/police-on-my-back.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Ugly Scott)6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5360418901482791931.post-6211768072317062299Tue, 18 Aug 2009 20:27:00 +00002009-08-18T13:46:25.304-07:00at the minnow, harlow tells me about some sort of cool web site that i can post stuff i want to get rid of and people will pick it up. she says it takes less than a day to unload a broken washing machine. "just google dowagiac recycle," she says.that didn't work. then i remembered she called it freecycle. i look that up and find that it is a yahoo group. i go to the group and it tells me i'm http://uglyscott.blogspot.com/2009/08/i-dont-know-my-cousins.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Ugly Scott)4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5360418901482791931.post-6012998323559239478Mon, 17 Aug 2009 19:19:00 +00002009-08-17T12:21:37.015-07:00today the rain in the morning was heavy. in the afternoon i spent 45 minutes crying to this song.http://uglyscott.blogspot.com/2009/08/rain.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Ugly Scott)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5360418901482791931.post-3600938276932850074Mon, 03 Aug 2009 15:58:00 +00002009-08-03T10:02:32.355-07:00we got a sunday paper yesterday. it's been years since i read one. what i was most impressed by were the coupons. i clipped some, and for the first time in my life decided to save money at the grocery store. i looked forward to saving a dollar on that new deal you can stick in your dryer to get rid of dryer sheets. having a dryer sheet surprise me during the day by peeking out of my pants legs http://uglyscott.blogspot.com/2009/08/naked-neighborhood-conclusion.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Ugly Scott)5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5360418901482791931.post-2188541167246443204Sat, 01 Aug 2009 19:06:00 +00002009-08-01T13:14:37.413-07:00update:so when n first saw the shoes under the truck (she hadn't mistaken them for a skunk), she thought i had run over someone the night before.that is one of the only possibilities i can cross off the list.here's the big news, though: now the police are involved. i went out to bag the evidence, and when i was picking up the shorts with a stick, i noticed they were heavy. the fruit of the http://uglyscott.blogspot.com/2009/08/naked-neighborhood-ii-of-iii.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Ugly Scott)5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5360418901482791931.post-8771084583068828695Sat, 01 Aug 2009 12:11:00 +00002009-08-01T05:25:13.535-07:00here in the middle west, the first door opening of the day--to let the cat our while the coffee brews--often leads to a minor crime scene investigation. if csi: dowagiac were on tv, the investigators wouldn't focus on murder; instead, the show would begin each week with the team leader looking down at the ground, saying, "check out this weird shit."a couple weeks ago i had a 40 oz covered in http://uglyscott.blogspot.com/2009/08/naked-neighborhood.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Ugly Scott)4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5360418901482791931.post-8876087678373936348Thu, 30 Jul 2009 22:35:00 +00002009-07-30T15:51:22.320-07:00i realize i am above foolish consistency and that we all contain multitudes. i shouldn't hold too adamantly to any opinion, since there is a possibility i will disagree with myself at some point. yep. i believe those things. still, lately i feel like i've sold myself out. it started with shrimp. i make a point of not eating it. then, just for something to do, i ate it four days http://uglyscott.blogspot.com/2009/07/hobgoblins.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Ugly Scott)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5360418901482791931.post-4930385174595090632Wed, 20 May 2009 21:26:00 +00002009-05-20T14:36:39.322-07:00there was a ring lardner book called symptoms of being 35 written in the 1920s that always sounded to me like symptoms of being 55. being 35 in the 1920s i reasoned is like being 55 now. i overestimated. being in one's mid forties is like being in one's mid thirties at the beginning of the last century. here are some symptoms i've encountered recently:today i had to fill out an insurance form http://uglyscott.blogspot.com/2009/05/symptoms-of-being.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Ugly Scott)14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5360418901482791931.post-7817228286500561681Sun, 17 May 2009 22:02:00 +00002009-05-17T15:09:25.853-07:00playing catch-up today and looking forward to slowing down a bit, checking out some blogs, drawing bad cartoons, putting down patio blocks.obama was in the neighborhood today, so we went to lowe's. no picketing at all there, though some of their employees were clogging up the aisles. i sensed a protest.uglywife spent the day in the dirt, and the last time i saw her, she stood over a dozen holeshttp://uglyscott.blogspot.com/2009/05/i-ran-out-of-impatiens.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Ugly Scott)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5360418901482791931.post-6191562045861959765Sun, 10 May 2009 23:36:00 +00002009-05-10T16:56:00.084-07:00for the last couple weeks i have been treeing--pulling out the hundreds of baby trees growing where they shouldn't. i'm not allowing the parent trees to keep any of their offspring. i feel pretty bad about it, but it's a tradition.it's also about the only outdoor task i am allowed to do. i can tell the difference between a baby tree and any other plant and the difference between a bird and a http://uglyscott.blogspot.com/2009/05/slaughter-of-innocents.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Ugly Scott)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5360418901482791931.post-7128567473157018692Mon, 04 May 2009 20:29:00 +00002009-05-04T13:52:30.444-07:00passive learning is the best sleep aid ever invented. students have known this for years.most every night, we go to bed and dial up a documentary (cool netflix box). i put down what i'm reading and begin watching. i am interested. i am learning. then, 15 minutes later i'm asleep.here's what i've learned:king corn: two guys find corn in their hair, move to iowa, and plant one acre of corn. http://uglyscott.blogspot.com/2009/05/15-minutes-of-knowledge.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Ugly Scott)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5360418901482791931.post-2169009491112294717Thu, 30 Apr 2009 23:56:00 +00002009-04-30T17:07:51.470-07:00like devil worshipers, aliens have been known to mutilate cows and pigs. i remember that the aliens regularly lopped heads and udders and such from cows before they found the more peaceful farm activity of leaving designs in corn fields. but the corn circle hobby must have gotten boring. they're back to mutilation, and they've chosen my backyard to begin. they are severing the heads off of http://uglyscott.blogspot.com/2009/04/tulip-mutilation-hits-backyard.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Ugly Scott)6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5360418901482791931.post-4216623623209944437Mon, 27 Apr 2009 23:49:00 +00002009-04-27T17:05:32.807-07:00it hasn't made the news. no one is talking about global winding. well, i am. long story short: it has been very windy here for the last couple months, and i don't like it. if i recall correctly from my class on meteorological psychology, long periods of heat make people kill, and long periods of wind make people want to kill themselves. casper, wyoming, a very windy place, has an alarmingly http://uglyscott.blogspot.com/2009/04/wind-sensitivity.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Ugly Scott)11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5360418901482791931.post-4957836920428802254Fri, 24 Apr 2009 17:50:00 +00002009-04-24T10:54:11.573-07:00sometimes the weather is enough. it is hot, sunny, buggy, but perfect. the outdoors begs for a two-day backyard binge, so we will give in to its wishes. frogs barking at each other, mounting and slapping one another, birds gathering straw and hair, and we--enough yard work for the day, we sit and drink and wait for visitors and red noses.i hope the guest list will be long. come on over.http://uglyscott.blogspot.com/2009/04/posted-no-trespassing.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Ugly Scott)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5360418901482791931.post-8437548625119068588Tue, 21 Apr 2009 20:41:00 +00002009-04-21T14:52:02.097-07:00Two activities I enjoy engaging in are writing notes on random objects and taking on sporadic cleaning/organizing chores. I write things and forget about them. Later, on a cleaning whim, I discover lost thoughts. This method is more enjoyable than always knowing what I think.Today I began cleaning the drawer next to my bed. Amongst the hundred or so notes on paper scraps, 3 x 5s, envelopes, http://uglyscott.blogspot.com/2009/04/paper-in-my-pipes.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Ugly Scott)5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5360418901482791931.post-4936691492777201765Mon, 13 Apr 2009 23:26:00 +00002009-04-13T16:27:26.837-07:00i've been working on the new uglycousin rather than on the blog. the new issue is up now. check it out. leave comments. tomorrow: tangle theory.http://uglyscott.blogspot.com/2009/04/new-issue-new-look.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Ugly Scott)7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5360418901482791931.post-2973412711761657980Wed, 08 Apr 2009 17:22:00 +00002009-04-08T10:39:31.086-07:00i haven't been blogging much lately simply because i've been a little busier and perhaps less creative than what passes for normal. then i noticed today that my last two blogs made people worry, and that isn't something i normally like to do. no tales of random acts of drinking at the wounded minnow, no revelations about the sham wow (buy something called sham and complain you've been ripped http://uglyscott.blogspot.com/2009/04/dont-bring-me-down.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Ugly Scott)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5360418901482791931.post-8575558029236031160Mon, 06 Apr 2009 19:19:00 +00002009-04-06T12:19:57.989-07:00out past the just-green grassturned white this groaning morning,a lone daffodil droops.bent by wet april snowits yellow promise nudgesthe cold dirt. no sun canunbend it now. it's over.the daffodil's aprillike waking from a comato catch the flu--or die.my beautiful boy born in spring,died in spring. warm day, filledwith promise, sunward smile.http://uglyscott.blogspot.com/2009/04/cruelest-month.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Ugly Scott)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5360418901482791931.post-1129765736494500966Fri, 13 Mar 2009 20:51:00 +00002009-03-13T13:53:50.378-07:00storiesMy pancreas developed consciousness last week.I’m sure last week was just the end of a long process of self discovery, but I didn’t sense the baby steps.If I could stick a mirror in my guts and my pancreas had eyes (and maybe that will come soon), it would recognize itself. I don’t know if it would smile upon recognition. I’m certain it wouldn’t wave.What it does have is a sense of self and an http://uglyscott.blogspot.com/2009/03/pancreocentrism.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Ugly Scott)9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5360418901482791931.post-8906338301367416823Sat, 07 Mar 2009 17:50:00 +00002009-03-07T13:41:34.291-08:00a few weeks ago, i made up a rumor to spread about tarantino adding swears and violence to movie classics so they would appeal to a modern audience. i wish it weren't so close to true.last night i watched a pg-13 comic, watchmen, made into an r movie with nothing added, only subtracted, from the overall effect. the longish sex scene was stupid. more hot costumed scenes would have been more http://uglyscott.blogspot.com/2009/03/please-show-us-batmans-buthole.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Ugly Scott)9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5360418901482791931.post-5741637673540533089Mon, 02 Mar 2009 22:12:00 +00002009-03-02T14:27:53.460-08:00a piney squirrel moved into our garage over the winter. she is small enough to come and go under the door. i don't have too much of a problem with this. other than a brief period after reading ted nugent's newest book and wanting to kill squirrels as he does, i have had a laissez faire attitude toward it. i have the space. the little squirrel can be my temporary guest.she doesn't thank me http://uglyscott.blogspot.com/2009/03/charity.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Ugly Scott)4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5360418901482791931.post-6754197238466184895Mon, 02 Mar 2009 22:06:00 +00002009-03-02T14:12:21.157-08:00i am officially on spring break, though there is no spring or break. i'm trying to break up the normal work of writing evaluations and grading things by putting some serious effort into my wall project--dividing a room, installing two closets, putting in a slider door. such projects often consume me. i can see the next step, so i like to keep working. this, of course, puts me behind on other http://uglyscott.blogspot.com/2009/03/bleeding-time.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Ugly Scott)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5360418901482791931.post-6231958073683977641Tue, 24 Feb 2009 00:47:00 +00002009-02-23T17:07:05.601-08:00i've been blogging on sheets of paper shoved in pockets rather than online. the comments i get are few but interesting. i will begin unloading my pockets today--starting with the least interesting scrap of paper.another strange combination of tv shows has changed my world view. we've been watching leave it to beaver season one. on the third episode beaver buys an alligator though the mail. http://uglyscott.blogspot.com/2009/02/alligators-and-chickens.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Ugly Scott)2