Tyson Zahner Photography» Cape Girardeau Missouri Photographer, Senior Pictures, Children, Tyson Zahner

Father Forgets

Tyson — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 13:50:19 PDT

Today . . . something completely unrelated to photography.

When you have children, I think somehow the heart grows exponentially. I am not usually (and never really have been) the emotional type, but today I stumbled across an article that really touched me. I was reading it out loud to my wife, Rachel, and all of a sudden, about half way through the article, I felt this wave of emotion pour over me and I could barely continue reading through my tears as I thought about my role as a parent and my relationship with my own son.

I’m not 100% sure why I was so affected by it, and It’s strange, because I’m certain I wouldn’t have had that reaction 3 years ago before Zane and Zoe had come into my life. Nonetheless, I think it’s something every parent could stand to read (and probably re-read on a regular basis)

So . . . if you have 5 minutes, read the article below. But be careful, you may want to have a box of tissues close by

This article was written several decades ago, and since then it has been published in many well known books and magazines.

Father Forgets

Listen, son:

I am saying this as you lie asleep,

one little paw crumpled under your cheek and

the blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead.

I have stolen into your room alone.

Just a few minutes ago,

as I sat reading my paper in the library,

a stifling wave of remorse swept over me.

Guiltily I came to your bedside.

There are the things I was thinking,

son: I had been cross to you.

I scolded you as you were dressing for school

because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel.

I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes.

I called out angrily

when you threw some of your things on the floor.

At breakfast I found fault, too.

You spilled things.

You gulped down your food.

You put your elbows on the table.

You spread butter too thick on your bread.

And as you started off to play

and I made for my train,

you turned and waved a hand

and called, ‘Goodbye, Daddy!’

and I frowned, and said in reply,

‘Hold your shoulders back!’

Then it began all over again in the late afternoon.

As I came up the road I spied you,

down on your knees, playing marbles.

There were holes in your stockings.

I humiliated you before your boyfriends

by marching you ahead of me to the house.

Stockings were expensive -

and if you had to buy them you would be more careful!

Imagine that, son, from a father!

Do you remember,

later, when I was reading in the library,

how you came in timidly,

with a sort of hurt look in your eyes?

When I glanced up over my paper,

impatient at the interruption,

you hesitated at the door.

‘What is it you want?’ I snapped.

You said nothing,

but ran across in one tempestuous plunge,

and threw your arms around my neck

and kissed me,

and your small arms tightened

with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart

and which even neglect could not wither.

And then you were gone,

pattering up the stairs.

Well, son,

it was shortly afterwards

that my paper slipped from my hands

and a terrible sickening fear came over me.

What has habit been doing to me?

The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding

- this was my reward to you for being a boy.

It was not that I did not love you;

it was that I expected too much of youth.

I was measuring you

by the yardstick of my own years.

And there was so much that was good and fine

and true in your character.

The little heart of you

was as big as the dawn itself

over the wide hills.

This was shown by your spontaneous impulse

to rush in and kiss me good night.

Nothing else matters tonight, son.

I have come to your bedside in the darkness,

and I have knelt there, ashamed!

It is a feeble atonement;

I know you would not understand these things

if I told them to you during your waking hours.

But tomorrow

I will be a real daddy!

I will chum with you,

and suffer when you suffer,

and laugh when you laugh.

I will bite my tongue

when impatient words come.

I will keep saying as if it were a ritual:

‘He is nothing but a boy – a little boy!’

I am afraid I have visualized you as a man.

Yet as I see you now, son,

crumpled and weary in your cot,

I see that you are still a baby.

Yesterday you were in your mother’s arms,

your head on her shoulder.

I have asked too much, too much.

- W. Livingston Larned,

——————————————

and since no post on this blog would be complete without a photo, here’s a snapshot of the three people that I love more than anything else in this entire world!

My little girl is 3-months old . . . and prettier than ever!

Tyson — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 19:18:45 PDT

Do I sound like a proud papa or what? Yeah Zoe is exactly 3 months old today so of course we took some 3-month pictures. It’s amazing how much she’s changed in just a short time.

Most of the time, Rachel and I both just stare at her and can hardly believe how beautiful she is (good thing she got her mama’s looks eh?)

Here’s just a few from my little lady’s session.

Maddy & Wedding Brock – Sneak Peek Wedding Photos

Tyson — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 18:31:42 PDT

Maddy and Brock got married on July 31, and Rachel and I were there to share in the joy (not to mention the heat and humidity). Seriously, I think this was one of the hottest, most humid weddings we’ve EVER photographed, but boy did we have a good time (did I mention that it was HOT!!). The wedding was so unique. All of the guys had muscle cars that they brought to the wedding and then each couple drove off in one after the wedding. We even blocked off the street for 30 minutes or so to do some shots with all the muscle cars.

Here’s a little sneak peek from Maddy and Brock’s wedding day.

Look out Ladies! Here comes Zane Zahner!

Tyson — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 12:33:39 PDT

My cousin, Kevin and his wife JoAnna are in this weekend from Oklahoma and we did quick photo shoot with them and their 16-month old, Melanie this morning.

Below are a few favorites from their session. (I hope the first picture in this sequence isn’t foretelling my son’s future attempts to pick up the ladies).

And here are a few more of the the Burlison’s

Hocky Don

Tyson — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 14:42:27 PDT

Don Perry came over for his senior session this morning. Don’s an avid hockey fan and a devoted player. So it’s no surprise that over half of his images incorporated hockey into them.

Here’s some favorites from Don’s session today.

Fly Scarlett, Fly

Tyson — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 22:21:22 PDT

Scarlett Patterson is a senior at Notre Dame High School. We shot her senior session yesterday and since she’s a dancer, I had envisioned this shot of her that looked like she was dancing on air. Here’s what we came up with.

2011 High School Senior – Bailey McDowell

Tyson — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 15:57:27 PDT

We shot Bailey’s senior session this morning and despite the heat, we really had an awesome session. Lots of locations, lots of outfits, lots of killer shots. I must say, Bailey is a great sport (as is her mother). We even did a little trash the prom dress. Shelly, thanks so much for walking barefoot in the creek and holding my lights and stuff. You’re awesome. Bailey, you rock too!

Here are 2 of my favorites from the session this morning (P.S. Bailey’s grandfather built that cross – pretty awesome, huh?)

David Watts – Class of 2011 Senior

Tyson — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 13:48:14 PDT

I had an absolute blast shooting David Watts’ senior session this morning. More shots from this session to follow on a later date, but for now, here’s my favorite from the day.

Mallory & Ryan’s Wedding – A Sneak Peek

Tyson — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 16:18:01 PDT

Mallory Wilson and Ryan Gibson got married on May 29 and let me say I just loved everything about this wedding. From the Victorian style to the 57 Chevy to the super fun wedding party (especially the guys – Ryan your groomsmen were a hoot!)

Anyway, sorry it’s taken me so long to get this sneak peek online (it’s been a little busy around here). In fact, we brought our daughter home from the hospital on Friday and then shot Mallory and Ryan’s wedding on the following day (so to say that it was an eventful week would be a massive understatement!). My wife, Rachel usually comes with me on weddings, but since she had a baby 3 days prior, I let her off the hook on this one so instead, my mother-in-law, Charlyn came along to help me out and even 2nd shoot a bit (Thanks Char!)

Senior season is officially underway!

Tyson — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 12:56:41 PDT

We’ve already started shooting 2011 seniors and let me tell you, it’s gonna be a GREAT season. We have lots of seniors on the calendar already but it’s never too early to call and schedule. Even if you want to shoot in the fall, it’s not a bad idea to get it on the books now so you get the spot you want (last year, we were turning seniors away because our schedule was sooo full). So if you know any 2011 seniors, tell them to call and book their senior pictures.

This is Aaron Delph from Jackson High School. His mom warned me ahead of time that he wasn’t too stoked about the idea of getting senior pictures done (as is the case with most boys), but let me tell you . . . we had a great time and got some pretty awesome images too (plus I think Aaron had a pretty darn good time too).

Here are a few favorites from Aaron’s session this morning.