I mean if you know me… I have always felt that I needed to be everything to everyone, and if I was not then I went out of my way to do the things it took to make sure everyone either liked Tug, approved of what I was doing, or that everything appeared to be going well as I would have a smile on my face.  I mean lets just face it, to you, you would have thought that Tug’s glass of life was never half empty or half-full because he had a straw in his mouth, and was still pourin the optimism in and always kept it overflowing.   Now that has not changed as far as my positive outlook on life, and part of it has not changed as far as loving the crap out of people ….but at the end of the day…. I can be me….not you!

And so here I am …all of me, full of crap that I have needed to shove in to the holes in Jesus’ hand, the tears that were from the whip, the holes in his feet, and every opening that was the result of me.  I have given things to Him before but only to be somewhat like the vinegar or what have you that the soldiers gave him to drink to be taken back down into their hands.  In the 32 years and 354 days of my life, I have never truly given my whole being over to my Savior.  As I have conversations with God…I mean arguments, or wait….one sided battles, because he never fights back.  I ask Him to take things from me, and I could just picture Him looking at me and saying…for real this time? oh okay…this time for 2 days… oh you made it to 3 without getting angry or frustrated…you really meant that one Tug! Yah God, Funny….you know my heart right!  You know that I want true freedom, but you also know that I want control …of my life. And yet there you are, 2 days before I nailed your Son on the Cross with MY SIN, MY RUSTY NAILS, MY CROWN OF THORNS, MY WHIP, I RIPPED HIS FLESH…..and He just stands there, and takes it….and takes it….and stands up for more!!!!!

So you mean he took it…then….when He died on the Cross, He knew what I was going through then, and my freedom is basically (tug-ology on this thought) keeping more weight off of Christ’s back when He was on the cross.  I know He knows what would happen and knew what I would be going through, but at the age of 33 I am choosing to live at the age that He died.

That is it, I am choosing to be BIRTHED in His Spirit, in HIS LOVE,  in HIS JOY, in HIS PEACE! For so long my love was out of fear, but now my love is out of love!

So will you turn 33 with me, will realize that your struggles were nailed to the cross with mine, and the results were the same!  Everything that you are going through is and can be relinquished.  Your anger, your addictions, your personal satisfaction, selfishness and anything else that you can think and trade it  in for JOY!  Will you say, I AM TRULY HANDING IT TO JESUS AND GOING TO SHOVE MY OWN FAILURE IN TO THE GASHES OF OUR SAVIOR! And just as He rose again, we will rise with Him!!!

For a righteous man falls seven times and rises again – Proverbs 24:16

So join with me in singing … Happy Birthday to __________ (insert your name here)

Blow that freakin candle out  and get to the cake!!!!!

Here is what it looks like for me —-  No one can be me , better than me!  That is who people need in my life…ME….not sugar coated Tug, but the Tug that God has created to love the crap out of them!  So to my wife….. I LOVE YOU WITH ALL OF WHO GOD HAS CREATED ME TO BE AND NOTHING LESS…. TO MY KIDS- YOU MAKE ME MORE PROUD THAN ANYTHING BUT I WANT TO PRAY WITH YOU, AND GIVE YOU THE FATHER THAT YOU HAVE NEEDED ALL ALONG, TO THE CAREER AND FAMILY THAT GOD HAS GIVEN ME – YOU WILL SEE A CHANGE, BECAUSE MY EFFORT IS AS IF ETERNITY DEPENDED ON IT!

For the last 7 weeks I have spent my life traveling across the country, in which, I am sorry if you followed me on facebook, twitter, instagram or anything else and got bombarded with alot of posts.  Over those 7 weeks we traveled close to 16,000 miles by plane, and 16,000 miles by bus….CRAZY!!  Every night that I went to bed, whether it be on a bus, or in a hotel room….I heard one sentence over and over in my head….. DID YOU SEE THAT DADDY?

During one of the weeks that we were out on the road, my mom calls me as she was watching the kids, and said she heard my son Tanner say those words.  He was dribbling his ball or something in the hallway and was hoping that I heard him. I was not on the phone, not in the hallway, not on skype or anything. He just said those words out loud to himself, acting as if I was there!

You see, that is what I do not get about some fathers….or should I call them donors?  There are some fathers that choose to step out of the lives of their children, and some of us that have to for a few weeks at a time due to our careers.  Then there are some that do for a year at a time…because they are fighting for our country.  I am so thankful to be a part of those last two, but I will never understand the first one.  When you have children, you chose to have them, whether you think it was a mistake or what have….they are yours!

I spend the majority of my time thinking of ways that I can truly pour into the lives of my children and right now….I truly know that that little boy that missed me…wants to spend every waking minute, knowing that I see him! And I do more then see him, I hug him, I tell him I love him over and over and I call him my hero! (one of 4 in my little family)  I lived in a house where my dad was not afraid to hug me, not afraid to tell me he loved me, not afraid to sit right beside me while watching football, and always went out at half time to play ball with us!  That meant the world to me!

One thing you will never have to guess or question is my love for my children! They and Angie are my world!

So to you dads out there struggling to find your identity in this world…trying to wonder what your purpose is…. you have them right in front of you and you have a few things that should be top on your list to do with them or for them…

1. Live your life authentically in front of them
2.Love them without question or hesitation
3.Pray for them, with them, and keep your spiritual life together so your family will be strong.
4.HELP YOUR WIFE RAISE YOUR KIDS….it took two to make them…so it should take two to raise them (she cannot do it on her own)
5. Provide for them… financially, spiritually, recreationally, in every aspect
6. Protect them!
7. Take them each individually out on “daddy dates” …this means the world!
8. Find what they want to accel at, and help them press the gas (meaning….practice with them, guide them, and encourage them to be their best)
9. Be affectionate and encouraging to them (do not let them grow up questioning your love)
10.  LET THEM SEE YOU LOVE THE CRAP OUT OF THEIR MOM!!!

You see, over the last 10 years of my own being a father, I have jacked alot of this stuff up, and realize what time can be wasted by focusing solely on yourself!  I am so thankful to be raising children with my best friend, and knowing that my kids truly value their time with their dad.
On a side note…these 36 holes of golf that I played this week with Tanner…. I do not remember many of my hits on the course, but I remember asking my son who his favorite golfer was and he says….you Daddy!!!!
Here are a couple of pictures of our week of golfing:

After reading James, I picked another short book of the bible to start in on, and chose 1 Thessalonians…which really got my cages rattled.  You see there is this point of Christianity that sometimes throws me for a loop, sometimes I think it is great but if there is nothing else to it, it is merely a sales pitch.  I am in no way shape or form saying there is any other way to heaven than through the death, burial and resurrection of my Lord Jesus Christ, but what I am saying is…. I sometimes have a difficult time, with the sinners prayer….if that is all that it is.

There are ministries that I truly know that really care, and there are ministries that I see that are just all about the numbers of conversions….but are they really converted.  Do we simply say we have lead Millions of people to the Lord only to throw them to the wolves.  Do we do this to boost our spiritual ego, on how many souls we have led to the Lord vs. the next person.

The problem that I see…is that not too many people are actually doing “life” with people these days… not too many people are truly saying, hey …here is my crap…help me turn it into manure so things will grow and grow more effectively.  Not too many people are living out 1 Thessalonians 2:8 “so we cared for you. Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well.” You see, sometimes sharing the Gospel of God is great, but God has given you a life to share with that person as well!  I am learning this firsthand!

As I am out here on the road, my opportunity for impact is short term with some that I come into contact with (local coordinators, and volunteers) and mid-term with the artists and team that are on the road with us, long term with the team at Rush Concerts.  If I am not willing to do life with these people that I come into contact with, am I truly representing what Christ wants to utilize me for. If I am not diving into the word, sharpening myself so that my conversation is pure, my thought process is clear, work ethic is ALL OUT, and if I am not sharing who I am through  I AM , then I am just another robot that is not the unique individual that God has created!

It is my job to be me….to share Tug ( aka the  thetuglife ) with everyone that I come into contact with, ROOTED in Jesus, so that the final outcome will cause others to want to share in the life that I have, and then I can truly share the Gospel with them!  If they see me no different, than why would they want to be a Christian!

So to those of you that are afraid of being you…….is that not who Christ intended you to be?  Stop thinking that you can only lead people to Christ by telling them they are going to Hell….Show them why they would want to be a Christian, by the way you share your life with them…and then that will draw them to Christ and then you can share the gospel.

I always look forward to what God is gonna say through Lecrae….tonight was no different.  Tonight… He was talkin to the crowd and just stopped before Background and really spoke about being a postman….delivering everything that God has given him.  The fact is, all of us are…and whether we choose to be or not….its up to us.

If it does not make sense, I am too tired to expound on it tonight…but wanted to stick to my blog….

However, there was a great story from the day…cannot share it on here…but lets just say there was some PAGEANT footage that would have been an amazing reality show!

Last week I was able to be home on Thursday , and headed to Indianapolis on Friday with Reesey to celebrate her birthday, while the Roadshow was launched in Biloxi, Mississippi.  I caught up with the Roadshow the night after its second show which was in Huntsville, Alabama.  The Roadshow made its third stop in Indianapolis, Indiana and man was it crazy….a week before the Superbowl, and I had my daughter Reesey with me!!! What an amazing opportunity to let Reesey see how much daddy actually loves her.  She walked and walked  and walked around Bankers Life Fieldhouse ….until 1000 pm and the show was over.

Then it happened…Mom and Dad were taking her back to the hotel, against her will   she was crying and wanting to hop on the bus with me to Minnesota!  Needless to say, those are the things that are hard. My parents said she did not talk to them the rest of the night, and just sniffled while lying in bed…finally falling asleep!

When I got home on Monday, I helped lay the kids clothes out for school for the next day, and when Reesey went to bed, I walked out to look at the clothes to see her VIP lanyard on top of her clothes and my heart about sank…she wore it to school the next day!!! Proud as anything!

The Rock and Worship Roadshow is moving many parts of who I am…… the main thing is drawing me closer to Christ, learning how to be a better Husband, Father, and Promoter!  I am so thankful that I take all 4 as serious as if my life and others depended on it…but then again ..it does!

I will post tomorrow with my thoughts on The Hoffman Estates, Illinois show…and may have a special guest!

Before this year, I was hoping that Tim Tebow would get his shot…not because I thought he would lead so many comebacks as he has done, or that he would remove the doubt that has been thrown at him, but simply because he is a blast to watch, and the Broncos are my 2nd favorite team in the league.  (they were the team I rooted for when the browns were sold to Baltimore) I began to like watching Tebow back in his college days at Florida and the man has not wavered from who he is…no matter what has came against him.  He has offered no excuse to his throwing ability, or even truly gotten physically angry when everyone has poked at him. Instead he leads his team to a 6-1 record  while he has been the starter and is currently a Trending topic across the nation.  There are even remixes on you tube stating all he does is win ( http://t.co/S5MMnU3P ) . But the biggest thing that is associated with Tim Tebow is his faith.  In fact as I was listening to ESPN Radio this morning, I heard former BUCKEYE GREAT Chris Carter say this, “You can’t talk about Tim Tebow without talking about his faith” [the two are inseparable]. You hear about this from everywhere, if He fails…. it is because of his Faith… if he is winning, He gives credit to God, while others mock his faith.  Either way, the main thing of TIM TEBOW is his relationship with His Savior…and at the end of the day that is all the success he needs.

So you have Tim Tebow who wears his faith on his sleeve, and even under his eyes and then you have telemarketing pastors that are supposed to.  Now what I am not saying is that every pastor is like this, but what I am saying is that more pastors should be like Tim Tebow….or my boy Daniel Messner.  But by reading the book Not a Fan, I am realizing that even pastors are sometimes fans of God and not Followers.  They are trying to win people over to the Christian lifestyle by offering them Jesus for 2 easy payments of 10% of your check and one difficult payment of raising your hand in front of a crowd…but wait, there’s more!  They ask questions like How would you like to live forever? Would you like to have your sins forgiven and a fresh start?  Do you want to spend eternity in paradise instead of a burning hell? Some even take it a step further and say Would you like a prosperous life? Are you ready to claim the health and wealth that God has in store for you? Does that sound like something you may be interested in?  It is like we offer this gospel that offers everything and costs nothing!   Now I am not saying at some time , some of those questions are not important but what I am saying is that serving Christ is not all easy…it is not like Christ just says…choose me, and your life will be GREAT!  No what he says is FOLLOW me and someday you will get to worship me eternally!  You will go through HELL on earth to get to heaven! But just do not root for me when I am doing good, and tell my friends about me when things are great!!! HE IS SAYING WHERE MY SHIRT WHEN THINGS HAVE SUCKED, PREACH MY NAME WHEN THINGS ARE A MESS!  I KNOW YOU ARE GONNA FAIL, BUT I WILL BE SITTING HERE SMILING AT YOU AND WAITING FOR YOU TO LOVE PEOPLE THE WAY I DO!  People right now are hearing more about faith from Tim Tebow than they are from Billy Graham and both are authentic…be praying that people come to know Christ through this!

You see, I am a Browns Follower, and a Broncos fan…. I will not , not ever be associated with the Browns, I am more than a fan!  My prayer is that I will wake up every day and go TIM TEBOW hard for my Lord…no matter what People will know I love God and it will just pour off of who I am!

Sorry for the rambling…but time to catch a ride to Michigan with my friend and co-worker Jacob Reiser…where tomorrow we will be part of the STORY Tour…where over 3,000 people will be hearing about Christ…pray for us that we will serve well in our capacity!

She prayed for everyone…She loved everyone, She had a blast…NO MATTER WHAT PEOPLE THOUGHT OF HER. When she died…MY WORLD GOT THE CRAP KICKED OUT OF IT. My Grandpa (PoPo) asked if I would speak at her funeral….How could I not… Well, God must have gave me the strength, because when I came off that stage…I was weeping like a baby! As a matter of fact, I still do from time to time….and tonight may be one of them.

You see…5 years ago my wife came to me and said…Tug, I had a dream, we were together, and we had to ask for these keys… and this lady looked at us… as we told her we needed them. The lady looked at us as like…why am I to give you these keys…how do you know Marilyn. I told her, and she handed me the keys. When I got the keys I unlocked the doors to an arena ….that there was a line outside jam packed waiting to get in. My wife told me…there was no one that was supposed to get these keys, they were specifically for you (me). We (angie and I) were able to pick these keys up and open the door..because my Grandma left these for me. (ya freaked out yet)

When I heard this …I was getting hired at Crossroads… in Lima, Ohio… a church of around 700 at the time, and I thought that was it. Only to be laid off 2.5 years later. I have thought, a lot about this dream and what it means…because I do believe that God gives us dreams…but when my wife vividly communicated this to me, I could not believe it. She left me the keys to a ministry that she had passed on to me! She left me to do the work that she had done for so long….but I GET LAID OFF!!! For a year I was furious…then disappointed, then happy…..minus losing the teens that I loved so much. But what about the dream….where is it gonna go….I sold wireless internet to hotels for the next almost 2 years. This job was something that I could have retired from… I LOVED IT….LITERALLY LOVED IT! God had something else in store!

I began speaking with a guy named Jacob Reiser, and met him and his dad to talk about possibly working for RUSH CONCERTS (This after running concerts for 10 years in Lima, for no income). We met, felt like family, but had no idea what it would turn into. Well 6 months into the relationship, I count them as brothers, and would go to war for these 2 guys (Jacob and Cliff Reiser). They have enabled me, through God’s leading, to pursue the ministry that I know I am supposed to be a part of.

Well…tomorrow is the day… I head up to Saginaw Michigan, with Cliff and His wife Mary, check in to my hotel….spend the night and then its on like FRICKIN DONKEY KONG. We unlock the doors to arenas….that have lines of people waiting to get in….with keys to the kingdom that these people are wanting and needing to be a part of…they may not know it…but we do! You get it yet….my wife’s dream that she had is truly becoming a reality!!! I am soooooooooooooooo humbled and emotional about this!!

Grandma….Thank you for what you have poured into me…an undying love for the lost, and the ability to be myself no matter what people think! God….thank you for what you are going to accomplish through the Rock and Worship Roadshow….I PROMISE TO LEAVE IT ALL ON THE FIELD!!!

LETS GOOOOOOOO!!!!!

IF you are not familiar with this tour… Check out http://www.therockandworshiproadshow.com

God has given us each a gift or more to see if we are going to use it for Him…. For example… How many times have you heard….Man…EMINEM is a terrible rapper!  Really….does he suck at rapping…no, in fact I would go as far as to say, he is the most skillful/best flowing/lyrical genius to walk this earth….besides all of my BOYS from the 116 clique…and REACH RECORDS(is that because I have a biased opinion)!  But why some people say he is terrible, is because He has taken what God has given him to do  and used it to build himself up and not use it to glorify God.  If he would spend about 5 minutes with Lecrae, Trip Lee (see below), and many of the other artists of Reach Records…he would see guys who could be making millions in the secular industry, but have given themselves in submission to the God who created them. The difference between Eminem and these guys are…they have recognized that they need to use what God has given them for His glory.  They are proud of their Lord.

So proud of him…that Trip has written a song about it…. The song could be taken from the scripture Jeremiah 9:23-24   which states “This is what the LORD says: “Let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength or the rich boast of their riches,²⁴ but let the one who boasts boast about this: that they have the understanding to know me, that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,” declares the LORD.”  Here is the song…if you want to listen to it

So let me take a minute to Brag on my Lord…. God, you have done something in this past weekend that I will be forever grateful for, you allowed me and my family to continue to spend time on earth in relationship with my brother!  You did not allow a heart attack to take my best friend out of this world.  You said NO…not this time…to something that has taken so many people away from their loved ones. I cannot tell people enough how proud I am to have seen you intervene right away!  I am proud that you have put people on this earth like Harlan and Gabe’s Pastor Richard who were there to immediately know the decisions that needed to be made.  They used the gift of discernment that you gave them and helped save my brother’s life.  I am proud of my sister in law Marla, and the love that she has for you, and for my brother.  I am proud of my dad, but only because you have changed Him into who you have wanted him to be all along.  He just wants to laugh at Satan and say…you tried…but God said no!!! I am proud of my wife, and the ability that you have given her to think of what can be done to alleviate the stress of the situation and want to go down and stay with the girls if that is what was needed.  I am proud of my mom, but only because you are giving her the strength to minister in Africa, while so much is going on at home!  I am proud of myself, only because you have opened my eyes to love sooooo much more …. I cannot tell you how much I felt your presence this weekend and am forever changed again!  I am proud of just getting off the phone with my brother who is going home instead of being Eternally Home…..YOU want him here!!!!  God, I could just about lose it everytime I read something on Gabe’s facebook page…in fact I think I have….I never realized I could love someone so much, until I realized how close we were to losing him….I am proud that you have helped me see that!!  You have helped me through so much this weekend God…I am forever PROUD OF YOU!  I am proud of the strength and calmness that you gave Gabe this weekend!  I am thankful that you did not allow an artery that was 100% blocked and called the widow maker, to make my sis-in-law a widow, and my nieces to lose their father!  I am PROUD OF WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO CONTINUE TO DO THROUGH GABE TAVIANO!!!!

I am proud of you, that you have helped change the eternal home of Aaron Cunningham!!!!! DANG PROUD!!!  I am proud that you have given me the freedom to be me, and that  you are ok with that!  I am proud that you have made my wife my PRIORITY on this earth after so long of making ministry over her!  I am sooooo proud of what you are going to do in my neighbor Joe’s life and for giving me the relationship with Him…I would not trade it for anything.  I am proud of the company that you have completely given me to work with everyday….and for the people that are Jacob and Cliff Reiser!  I could go on and on and on….I am proud of the safety that you give my kids, and the love that they have for others….I am proud that you have given me 3 gifts that I will never let go of …well, I know I have given them to you…but Thanks for letting me have them here on earth!!!

I am going to ask all of you to pray for one thing this week….as we are heading out on the Rock and Worship Roadshow….I am going to ask you to pray for my BOY TRIP LEE!!! as he helps tons of people see that they can BRAG ON THEIR LORD…. here is a pic of Trip, that my brother Gabe took in Columbus! (you can hear the interview with Trip on Gabe’s Blog at http://www.gabetaviano.com/people-of-faith/trip-lee/ )

I know alot of this may seem like I am rambling…well I am so deal with it I guess….

For you that read this…..here are some pics of me and my brother

GOD—— I CANNOT PRAISE YOU ENOUGH FOR ALLOWING ME TO HAVE MORE MEMORIES WITH MY BROTHER….and FOR ALLOWING HIM TO CONTINUE TO RAISE HIS BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTERS. Please KEEP HIM COMFORTABLE OVER THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND BE WITH MOM AS SHE IS IN AFRICA!

GABE- i LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU WOULD EVER KNOW… THANK YOU FOR BEING SOMEONE I CAN LOOK UP TO, and love well!YOU ARE GONNA BE JUST FINE!!!  I AM SOOOOO THANKFUL FOR YOUR CHURCH, YOUR WIFE, and SO THANKFUL THAT GOD HAS KEPT US TOGETHER!!

DAD and MOM – THANKS FOR LOVING US SOOOOOOO MUCH!

When i got home, at 3 am…my son was waiting up on me and jumped in my arms….I cannot imagine how painful it was for dad and mom when this became a reality!  I  just squeezed TANNER soooooo CLOSE!!

Next step – Gabe will be monitored at the Hospital til at least TUESDAY!!!

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