Training Gyaan

Be You: Declaration of Self-Esteem

everydaygyaan@gmail.com (Corinne Rodrigues) — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 14:13:00 +0000

I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it - I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes.

Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know -- but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me.

However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay.

--- From Self Esteem by Virginia Satir

Be You: Recognize Your Worth

everydaygyaan@gmail.com (Corinne Rodrigues) — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 14:03:00 +0000

Imagine that you were in charge of the care of a three month old baby. At feeding time, would you feed the baby with no strings attached? Of course you would! You won't say, "Okay kid! Unless you can do something smart and witty; unless you can sit up and say your ABC or make me laugh, you don't get a drink!" You feed the baby because it deserves to be fed. It deserves love, care and fair treatment. It deserves all that because, like you, it is a human being, a part of the Universe.

You deserve exactly the same. You deserved it when you were born and you deserve it now. Too many people get the idea that unless they are as clever or as smart or as handsome or as highly paid or as sporty or as witty as other people they know, they are undeserving of love and respect.

You deserve love and respect just because you are you.

Too rarely do most of us focus on our real inner beauty and our inner strengths. Do you recall watching 'boy meets girl' movies? As the boy and girl struggled through thick and thin, you hoped and prayed the who time that everything would work out. He went to war, she left home, he came back, she was gone, he found her, her brother told him to get lost, she told him to get lost, and all the time you hoped that they would live happily after. They were married and strolled off into the sunset as the curtain came down. You dried your tears and clutching your empty popcorn bucket, strolled out of the theater.

We cry at these movies because at our deepest level, we care. We love. We hurt. There is that inner core in all of us which is simply beautiful. Depending on how much we have been hurt, we will expose our deepest feelings, but we all share these qualities.

When we see the news stories which portray the plight of the starving around the globe, we all ache inside for them. Each of us may have a different view as to how they can best be helped, but we all care. That is the way we are.

Accept that you have these qualities - the capacity to love and empathize and be human. Recognize your own worth and constantly remind yourself that you need to be treated well.

( extract from Andrew Mathews' Being Happy)

Pic courtesy: Microsoft

Be You: A Self Esteem Series

everydaygyaan@gmail.com (Corinne Rodrigues) — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 06:47:00 +0000

Over the next few weeks Training Gyaan will be dealing with a series of self-esteem articles, exercises and meditations. Here is a lovely quote from Brian Johnson to get you started on this journey.

Quit putting yourself in a little box by trying to live consistently with your past and explaining every little action you take. BE YOU. Fully. In this moment. Independent of what others may or may not 'expect' from you.

Pic courtesy: Microsoft

Know Yourself - Part 4

everydaygyaan@gmail.com (Corinne Rodrigues) — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 11:42:00 +0000

ASKING THE QUESTIONS

A baby camel asked his mother, "Why do we have such large hoofs on our feet?"

She turned to him. "God made us that way for a very special reason," and she began her explanation. "The big hoofs are to keep us from sinking into the sand."

"Oh! So why do we have long eyelashes?"

"It's to protect our eyes from the sand."

"Why the big humps?"

"That is to store fat and have enough energy to go long distances in the hot desert!"

"I see!" the baby camel stretched his neck and looked up at his mother, "The big hoofs are to keep from sinking into the sand, the long eyelashes are to keep the sand out of our eyes, and the humps are to store energy to travel long distances then what are we doing in this cage in the middle of a zoo?"

That was one smart baby camel, don't you think? He took the time to ask the questions.

Often we're too busy to ask the questions that really matter - the questions that can help us discover ourselves. If you do ask the questions and take the time and effort to answer them you will go a lot further on your journey to knowing yourself.

Here are a few questions you might like to ask yourself. We suggest that you take your time, retire to a place where distractions are at a minimum and write down you answer without analyzing them. Some questions might take a while to answer and we urge you to take that time.

Remember three things while answering these questions:

Be specific - the more specific your answers are, the more you will be able to see yourself clearly.

Be honest - Being honest will help you to become truly aware of yourself and your honesty will lead you to have the courage to face your fears and take better control of your life.

Be gentle - Don't be judgmental with yourself. These questions are meant for you to discover yourself, and not be accusatory.

So here's a list of 10 questions - it's only a start - but it's important to start:

1. What are my top 5 strengths?

2. What are the 3 things I would like to change about myself? Why?

3. If 2 of my friends were gathered in a room without me, what would they say about me? Would I agree with what they said?

4. What type of people do I enjoy spending time with? Why?

5. What do I fear most in my life right now? Why? What would it mean if that happened?

6. What motivates me? Why?

7. What situations am I most at ease in? Why?

8. What situations am I most uncomfortable in? Why?

9. How do I handle criticism from others (give examples).

10. Who do I admire? Why?

Remember you are the expert on you. Do make the time to discover the wonderful person YOU are!

Know Yourself – Part 3

everydaygyaan@gmail.com (Corinne Rodrigues) — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 15:25:00 +0000

Who Am I Really?

Quick, finish this sentence: "I am a ________."

What popped into your mind? Did you immediately think of your job title? Did you identify yourself with a relationship term, like wife, daughter, or a Michael Jackson fan? Maybe you described your body ("I am 6 feet tall"), your personality ("I am an optimist"), or your favorite hobby ("I am a great cook").

Identity labels like these are useful, even necessary. They shape the way we act and feel (and the way people act and feel toward us) in every situation, from taking the bus to taking a partner. But many labels are misleading, and none can fully describe the multifaceted reality that is a human being. Moreover, any external criteria we use to label ourselves—looks, power, health, relationships, anything—can disappear in a heartbeat. So really, the only way to avoid a lot of insecurity, fear, and suffering is to learn how to wear our identities lightly and let go of them easily.

How to Let Go

Step 1: Be still.

The process of releasing your labels without losing yourself begins in stillness. If we hold still long enough, we begin to feel what we really feel and to know what we really know—a prospect so terrifying that some people bolt rather than face it.

If you can do this—get used to sitting still until you feel what you feel and know what you know—your labels will start peeling away like onion skins. Oh, it won't be easy. Your anxieties and neuroses will come yammering out of the walls like the Hounds of Hell. Your older sister's voice will mutter constant criticism. The person who broke your heart in 1987 will show up, more vivid in memory than in the flesh, to do it again. But just...sit...still.

Like anyone who doesn't run from stillness, you'll find that your mental demons have less staying power than you thought. Eventually you will begin to sense a very deep self that defies all labels, a calm soul who has experienced your whole life—even that regrettable incident involving your first girlfriend, a goat, and your father's car—without ever being dominated or extinguished. This is the you who wears your labels, who can toss the ones you've outgrown (or that never fit in the first place), who will always find another identity to wear when a familiar one disappears.

Step 2: Become the experiencer, not the experience.

All great wisdom traditions point to the knowledge that the essence of our true selves is not any fixed label but the capacity to experience.

In the Biblical tradition underlying Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, the One God of Israel tells Moses that His name is simply "I Am." The word Buddha means one who is awake, one who is aware.

As heavy as this philosophy sounds, it has a very simple and practical application. Try this: Go back to the first sentence of this article, remembering the label you gave yourself. Now repeat it, but instead of saying "I am a big fat loser" or "I am a powerful executive," say "I am one who calls myself a big fat loser" or "I am one who calls myself a powerful executive." This wording may feel a bit awkward, but (1) it happens to be true, and (2) it helps you detach from both negative and positive labels by inserting a layer of language between you and whatever identity you happen to be wearing at the moment.

Step 3: Practice truth in labeling.

Our belief in labels, not the labels themselves, is what gives them the power to influence our behavior. Knowing how to let go of any given identity without losing our essential selves yields a security we'll never get from fame, power, money, beauty, or any other personality prop.

By stilling our bodies and minds, becoming the One Who Experiences, and playing with labels the way we might play with costumes, we can remain ourselves no matter what happens: loss or gain, pain or pleasure, fame or disrepute.

Take these steps whenever, as the Indian poet Kabir wrote, "you are tangled up in others and have forgotten what your heart once knew." When the bad labels come at you glue-side up, or the positive ones are stripped away, remember to answer poet William Stafford's simple question: "Who are you really, wanderer?" Why not remember today?

Adapted from the June 2001 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine

Know Yourself – Part 2

everydaygyaan@gmail.com (Corinne Rodrigues) — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 06:58:00 +0000

Is Your Personality A Mask?

“She has a wonderful personality.”

“He has no personality.”

“We seem to have a clash of personality.”

"I want to improve my personality."

We use the term 'personality' frequently but what does it actually mean?

Personality is not easily defined. There are numerous personality theories and as many definitions of 'personality', so we'll stick to the simple. We could define personality as the behavioral, temperamental, emotional, and mental traits of a person.

The word “person” comes from the Latin word “persona,” which means a mask. We do indeed from time to time project and display different 'personas' - depending on situations, relationships, moods, etc. We present many selves

- the self that we would like others to think we are,

- the self we actually think we are,

- the self we are afraid we are, and then, of course,

- the core essence that we really are - the Real Me, The Real You.

Here are a few exercises you can try to answer the question - Is my personality a mask or does it reflect the Real Me?

1. An awareness exercise : Close your eyes, take few deep breaths, put your thoughts on hold. Who remains? Do you feel comfortable with this person?

2. A meditation : Read this passage from Barry Long slowly and let it speak to you.

A long, long time ago, when human beings were not so fixed in their physical bodies as they are today, there lived a man (or was it a woman?) who made for himself a marvelous mask – a mask that could pull many faces. The man used to put on the mask and entertain himself by suddenly accosting people and watching their reactions, Sometimes the mask would be laughing, sometimes crying, some times grimacing and scowling. His victims were always shocked at the sight of such an extraordinary, unnatural, unfamiliar face even when it was smiling. Whether they laughed or cried made no difference to him. All he wanted was the excitement of their reactions. He knew he was himself behind the mask. He knew he was the joker and that the joke was on them.

At first, he’d pop out with the mask on a couple of times a day. Then, as he got used to the excitement and wanted more, he began leaving the mask on all day. Finally, he saw no need to take it off at all and slept in it.

For years, the man wandered through the land enjoying himself behind the mask. Then one day he awoke, feeling a feeling he’d never felt before – he felt lonely, cut-off, something missing. Jumping up in alarm he stepped out in front of a beautiful woman and immediately he fell in love with her. But the woman screamed and ran away, shocked by the frightening, unfamiliar face. “ Stop,” he cried, “It’s not me!” wrenching at the mask wouldn’t come off. It was stuck to his flesh. It had become his face. the man, through his fabulous mask, was the first person to enter this unhappy world.

Time went by. No matter how hard he tried to tell everyone what a disaster he’d brought on himself, no one would believe him. No one was interested in listening anyway, because they’d all copied him. They’d all put on masks of their own – to get the new excitement of playing at being what they were not. Like him, they’d all become the mask.

How the man eventually put a stop to the masquerade and returned to his joyous being, is the finale of the story; for all fables must have a happy ending. However, only when you, the reader, are joyous and free of unhappiness now will the story truly come to an end. For you are the man or woman in the mask.

If you want to seriously undertake this journey towards the Real You, we urge you to record your feelings and answers. You're welcome to write and ask questions, share your thoughts with us.

Know Yourself - Part 1

everydaygyaan@gmail.com (Corinne Rodrigues) — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 05:38:00 +0000

Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is Enlightenment. ~ Lao Tzu

Think ‘self-awareness’ and the phrases ‘knowing yourself’, ‘getting in touch with your real self’, ‘being true to yourself’ follow naturally. It is a fact that getting to know yourself is the foundation for personal growth.

Life brings many roles to play - son, daughter, mother, father, wife, husband, employer, employee and you get so caught up trying to please others that you lose track of who you really are inside. This poses the question “What makes you happy as an individual”?

In fact, did you know that the number one reason for most people ending up with a job they don’t like is simply because of lack of self awareness? The tendency is to choose a job or career based on advice (well-meant – mostly) from family, friends and well-wishers. Some people also tend to choose the easy way out, taking up the first job that comes along.

In the words of Sydney Harris’ statement, 90 % of the world’s woes come from people not knowing themselves, their abilities, their frailties and even their real virtues’.

It is stock taking time – so let us look at why self-awareness is vital for personal growth and why it is important to know yourself.

A better understanding of yourself enables you accept yourself and change yourself.
Your mind is more open to identifying opportunities for professional development.
You can develop your decision making skills and instinct, make better and quicker decisions.
You can manage and cope with stress better because you can look at situations more clearly, identify stressors and take action accordingly.
You can enjoy better job satisfaction – you know what they say "if you love what you do – you don’t have to work a single day in your life”

Thus – stop and think:

Am I truly happy with what I am doing?
What am I feeling right now?
What do I want?
How am I acting?
Believe in yourself. Be honest with yourself. Respect yourself. Know yourself. Who else is better qualified?

What Training Gyaan Offers

everydaygyaan@gmail.com (Corinne Rodrigues) — Sun, 24 May 2009 15:14:00 +0000

The search for relevant information when you need it most can be pretty tough, as we have found out throughout our career. Yes, we’ve invested in books, we’ve signed up for newsletters, we’ve chatted with peers and benefited greatly. Yet, we’ve always yearned for that one-stop resource that could serve as a reference for a variety of training topics. Thus was born this website - to save precious time.

What we aim to do is cover a broad range of topics, with several sub-sections. We will start with the list below and add as we progress. It goes without saying that feedback is welcome, in terms of what you would like to see, since our goal is to be a valuable training resource. We plan to add short e-books and reports in the future.

You will find content on various topics in the form of

• original articles
• referenced content that will add value to our efforts
• interesting and fun self assessment questionnaires

And, of course, humor, for what is life without laughter?

Here are some of the topics Training Gyaan will cover:

• Assertiveness
• Attitude Training
• Body Language awareness
• Business Etiquette
• Business Presentation Skills
• Business Writing
• Confidence building
• Conflict Management
• Creative thinking
• Email Etiquette
• Goal Setting
• Inter cultural communication
• Interpersonal communication
• Interview Skills
• Language skills
• Learning skills
• Listening Skills
• Managing Change
• Managing stress
• Motivation
• Negotiation skills
• Networking skills
• Non verbal communication
• Planning
• Problem Solving
• Public Speaking
• Self acceptance
• Self awareness
• Self motivation
• Team Building
• Telephoning Skills
• Time management

• Vocal Skills
• Writing Skills

We urge you to browse around, sign up for updates and feel free to share your comments and views.