Train your brain –> Get smart. Be lazy –> Stay stupid.

Simple as that.

Gen-Y’s are smart people, but unfortunately for them, their parents and teachers thought it was a good idea to shelter them from all of life’s difficulties… including the frustration of solving problems. It doesn’t help that these children were showered with empty praise growing up for mediocre ‘achievements,’ which took no effort, to boost their self-esteem. When everyone gets a trophy, the result is children who’s confidence is only exceeded by their incompetence. In this sense, former president Bush may just be the first of the Gen-Y’s (though he’s way too old). For more detail, read Narcissistic and Entitled to Everything! Does Gen Y Have Too Much Self-Esteem?

This is the story of how I helped Jennifer start to develop problem solving skills at 22 years old, by teaching her a little about programming. If you’re a programmer reading this, you’ll probably be tempted to laugh and call her stupid, but understand this — Jennifer is a smart girl. She graduated high school with a 4.0 GPA. Problem solving, however, is a different kind of skill which takes a lot of time and hard work to develop. Unfortunately, her education failed to teach this. Fortunately, it’s never too late.

Naturally, we started with a simple 1-line Hello World. I opened up the Python console and typed:

>>> print “Hello World!”

Hello World!

I handed it over to her, and she diligently typed the same thing. Success! We’re off to a stellar start. Next, I showed her to write a function which adds two numbers together. (Everything after the # on the line is a comment for non-programmers, explaining what that line does.)

>>> def addNums(a, b):  # define a function addNums which takes arguments a and b

print a+b          # add a and b together and print the result to the console

>>> addNums(3, 5)        # call the addNums function with numbers 3 and 5

8                                    # the result printed by addNums with numbers 3 and 5 as input

She followed by writing one that subtracts two numbers.

>>> def subNums(a, b):

print a-b

>>> subNums(9, 6)

3

So far so good. Now, I showed her this example:

>>> define foo(a, b):           # define a function named foo which takes numbers a and b

print “First number:”, a, “  Second number:”, b, “  Sum:”, a+b

>>> foo(3, 5)    # call the function foo with numbers 3 and 5

First number: 3   Second number: 5   Sum: 8    # the result printed by function foo

Now, I asked her to write a function (named print_name_age) which does this:

>>> print_name_age(“Jennifer”, 22)

Jennifer is 22 years old.

Now this was hard. She protested, “I’m tired, I need to go bed. I have class in the morning.” She wasn’t tired a second ago… “I don’t know what to do. You never showed me how to do this. You’re mean!” I had shown her how to add numbers, print numbers, print text, and write a function. I left the examples open so she could look back at them. She had all the tools she needed. All that remained was to combine them in the right order to solve the problem.

She looked back at me with her puppy-dog eyes and repeatedly asked, “What do I do??” I told her she wasn’t allowed to ask me any questions. She should think out-loud, and I would ask her questions to help her along when she got stuck. She tried for about 20 seconds and got frustrated, angry, and even lashed out at me, to which I responded, “If you want to give up and go to bed, that’s totally fine. I won’t think any less of you. Don’t do this for me. Only stay if you want to.” She thought for a second, and decided to stay.

This was a turning point. She was no longer doing this to please me or to look smart — she now wanted to learn for the sake of learning. That’s  a symptom of a  growth mindset (read How To Be Smart for more detail). Now she had a chance. As she toiled, she still repeatedly asked me “Is this right?” to which I would give the thoroughly unsatisfying response “I don’t know, try it.” I watched her slowly conquer her phobia of the “enter” key to test her code, bravely risking the prospect of a terrifying error message, which killed her spirits instantly. I patiently encouraged, “Code never works the first time. If something I write works the first time, I’m shocked, and I’ve been doing this for 10 years. Keep trying.” She was still very frustrated and struggled with concepts I thought she had already mastered. For example, defining a function and calling it. She would define a function, and then be disappointed that nothing happened, even though she hadn’t called it yet. It was clear, she hadn’t actually understood a thing she wrote earlier. She had just copied my code. In school, this approach works without fail, and that’s exactly the problem.

Still, slowly but surely I began to notice that she wasn’t looking back at me for guidance nearly as often (she can’t read my poker face), and I was starting to see lights come on in her brain as she referred back to the examples and tried to pick them apart. For whatever reason, she asked for paper, which I supplied because at least it meant she was finally problem solving. My patience was strained, but I didn’t let her see that. I watched quietly. About 10-15 minutes later, behold the glorious code that Jennifer wrote with no help from me:

>>> def print_name_age(a, b):

print a, “is”, b, “years old.”

>>> print_name_age(“Tony”, 21)

Tony is 21 years old.

At first she was a little embarrassed that it took her so long to write something that would take me 2 seconds, but I was truly proud of her, and I told her so. We rejoiced in the epic victory. I say that with no sarcasm. There is no greater feeling in the world, than solving a tough problem that caused you massive frustration. Every coder in the world knows this and experiences it on a regular basis. I’m glad I could finally share that with Jennifer. There was no more sour Jennifer. She had a big smile on her face and joy in her heart.

True confidence comes from overcoming challenges, not empty praise.

I would love to hear, your thoughts in the comments. Do you think your education did an adequate job of teaching problem solving skills? How often were you praised as a kid? Was it unconditional or did you have to earn it?

http://www.stanford.edu/dept/bingschool/rsrchart/dweck.htm

So please, avoid the trap of a false dichotomy between ’smart’ and ‘dumb’ people. You can conquer the world. Whether you actually do is entirely up to you.

Thoughts?

So, I decided to do a speed reading test. I got 240 WPM at 80% comprehension. I’m only slightly above average. “Excellent” readers can read 7 times that speed with the same or better comprehension! Needless to say, I have a ways to go. I’m considering using zealog.com to track my reading speed daily. Improvement takes deliberate, sustained practice. I think measuring progress would help keep me on track. I need to practice perseverance, too, plus I would be learning whatever material I choose to use, so 3 birds with one stone. Perfect!

The question of talent is something that I’ve been grappling with for months now, ever since I became serious about guitar. However, this applies to much more than playing music. It’s just the best example of a skill in which most people tend to believe “either you have it or you don’t.” I was haunted by thoughts like ‘What if I’m not musically talented, and I’m wasting my time?’ After all, I have a friend who took guitar lessons for 5 years and today he never plays anymore. If he does, it’s mediocre at best. Then there’s the 16 year old guitarist from Black Oxygen, who has been playing for 2 years and can grind out the most shiver-inducing licks as if by divine (or perhaps, satanic) inspiration. I, myself, had one of the roughest starts imaginable, so you can see why I was concerned. So for months, I’ve thought, and researched, and experimented, and discussed, and thought some more (hence the blog title), and here’s what I came up with.

Talent is really insight. Everyone likes music, but how many people actually understand music? I’m not talking about scales, chords, and modes, though they help. I’m talking about an intuitive understanding of the reason why music exists, and why we love it so much. For the first 18 years of my life, I had no clue. I didn’t even like music very much. I mean, there’s certain kinds that I could tolerate more than others, but in general I was pretty indifferent. Now I love music in all forms. From samba, to reggae, to metal, to classical, to blues (<3), funk, hip hop, electronica, Indian sitar… Anything! Why? Well… it’s hard to explain! If it was easy, everyone would know, but the thing is, it’s not enough to know a lot about music intellectually. I’m talking about an intuitive knowledge or insight. I’ll try my best to explain, but I’m afraid that many of you still won’t get what I mean. Still, I believe that language is a powerful vessel of communication, and people who say “words cannot express” are just being lazy , so I’ll try my best to explain, if you try your best to understand.

First of all, music is not made by a guitar or a piano. Music is made by people. Fancy instruments aren’t needed to make great, moving music (though they help). This will sound a little crazy to some of you, but today I was at the gym on the bike, and a girl was running on the treadmill. When I listened to the rhythmic sounds that she was making as she ran, and the patterns of loud and soft thumps (I swear, this was not in a creepy way! sounded very musical, even a little funky to me! So, being the free spirit that I am with little regard for social norms, I decided to jam with her, haha! All three girls that were in the gym with me at the time had headphones in listening to music, but I decided to make some. That turned to be much more satisfying. I simply started drumming on the sides of the stationary bike in ever-changing patterns that interact with the drone of the treadmill, and the girl’s running. I fell into a euphoric, transcendental state where the only thing that existed or mattered was the beat as I toyed with it. That combined with the endorphins released from the aerobic exercise, gave me a powerful natural high that’s hard to beat. In case you’re wondering, I’m not udderly insane, though I’m sure the rest of the gym’s patrons probably thought so, haha. I didn’t just invent this either. What happened (minus the bike), is very similar to African drumming (though usually the other person consents to the jam session first, haha). Also, I don’t have super-powers. Watch this cute 4 year old, doing the same thing with his dad in Africa.

Next, music isn’t just purdy sounds. Music is a form of communication. One theory, which I definitely agree with, is that music evolved before language, and was instrumental (zing!) in the development of language. Bumble bees don’t have the ability to verbally speak to each other, but when one finds a great spot to gather pollen, it will go back to the hive and literally dance the way to get there for the rest of the bees, so they too can go and collect from that spot. Doesn’t seem like such an insignificant pass-time, anymore does it! Think about that next time you make fun of music majors (though I’m sticking with Computer Science, haha).

So, if it’s communication, what’s the message? Music is pure emotion. It tells a story, that we can feel and understand. It’s one of the most powerful forms of empathy there is. Think about it, when you hear James Blunt singing love songs to a triangle on Sesame Street, you can (hopefully) feel, his distress at losing that beautiful triangle to your core. After hearing that, my dreams were triangular for a week, haha. All this despite the fact that the verbal content of the song is quite unemotional and pretty hilarious. Even though he is most likely thousands of miles away from you, and you’ve probably never met him (not to mention, it’s a recording), you still feel connected to him. The reason is, you have entered into rapport with him through the power of music. And this becomes approximately a billion times more intense if you participate, which brings me to my next point.

Music is not spectator sport. The book This is Your Brain on Music by Daniel Levitin, is a fascinating look into the cognitive neuroscience behind our perception of and affection for music. One of his biggest points is, music was never supposed to be just for the “experts” like it is today. It’s for everyone. In tribal societies, even today, participating music is a part of everyone’s life on a regular basis. If they’re not singing, they’re dancing, or drumming, or playing some other instrument. The one thing they’re not doing is piling into 18,000 person auditoriums to watch 6 people on stage play while the rest watch quietly… We’ve elevated professionals, who no doubt are incredible at what they do, to such a Godly status, that the rest of us feel like we shouldn’t even bother trying. This is a grave mistake to make.

With this insight into the nature of music, I have given myself the freedom to make music happen at any time or place, like the gym. The reason many people start playing and give up is they focus on technical ability (which is definitely important), and get frustrated when they’re unable to use the instrument to encode any actual emotion. Practice becomes tedious, and they quit. That’s why I think everyone should start out on drums. It’s the most fundamental form of music that anyone can do at any time. You could start making music by smacking your desk in different patterns and different ways to generate distinct sounds. Try it!

The bottom line is, anyone who intuitively understands these things will be viewed as very talented by all her peers, like Suzi, who don’t understand how it is she’s can belt out Yoshimi on the Ukelele so effortlessly while they struggle with Marry Had a Little Lamb on recorder.

Again, let me remind you that this applies to every area of learning and skill, not just music. The key to talent is insight and attention, not superpowers.

I hope this has been enlightening for you all. Please share your stories in the comments about your talents, musical or otherwise, and whether you think they were inherited or learned. Much love, keep reading and subscribe if you haven’t already!

I think successful people more often than not come up with metaphors for life to keep them going. My favorite example are my entrepreneur friends Yu-kai and Jun from FD Career. They say that corporate gets you donkeys; Entrepreneurship gets you the princess, haha. Yu-kai talks about what he calls his “Diablo epiphany” in high school. It happened at a time when he was had worked hard to achieve high skill and status in Diablo, but the game’s popularity was waning. He felt empty inside because all his hard work was for not, and now he would have to find a new game to start from square one. What’s a really great game, he thought, that you can get really high status, and people can’t just get tired of and quit? The answer is obvious — life! Overnight, he was transformed from a hardcore gamer with little to show in real life for his efforts, into an ambitious entrepreneur who lived life like a hardcore gamer. Since then he has started multiple companies, some of which are still around and successful, has an impressive roll-a-dex with thousands of friends and important connections, his blog gets nearly 2 thousand unique viewers a month with steady growth, and he is a powerful leader who people want to follow. I would say he’s made significant progress towards success on a grand scale. Not bad for an afternoon of thinking, huh?!

They say personal change is difficult and can take years. I say fooee. Change is easy and can seconds! All it takes is a change in your attitude and perspect towards those essential things that determine how you live your life. If you have trouble getting to class on time, or at all sometimes (this never happens to me , it’s simply because you don’t think being to class on time is important enough. If you did, unless you have some serious mental deficiency that prevents you from being able to read clocks, you wouldn’t have any problem. This applies to everything in life. Change your values, change your life.

The opposite extreme is a bum street musician I met named Ronald. In downtown Lawrence (where I live), it’s not uncommon to see homeless people begging for money. It’s not a big problem, but it’s there. On a especially beautiful, sunny day a few weeks ago, I was walking to Jimmy John’s when I heard him playing guitar and singing from across the street. I had nowhere to be  for a few hours since I had just flaked on lunch with Jennifer (not getting into that, haha), so I thought why not get two sandwiches and find out his story. It turned out he was an alcohol and drug free guy who’s predicament was simply due to a lifestyle choice. Most importantly he was perfectly content — significantly more than the average home-full person I know. He was a wise man, and I think there’s much to learn from his example.

(Note: I originally wrote went into much more detail about my encounter with him, because it’s was so unique and enlightening, but this post got way too long so I split it off into it’s own post below. If you’re interested, don’t hesitate to read that now. Just don’t forget to come back and finish this one!

Ronald will never be a millionaire. Not because of bad luck or alcoholism, but the simple fact that he doesn’t want to be. On the other hand, I think there is a very good chance that Yu-kai, Jun, and especially my friend Michael (I’ll talk more about him later, haha) will be very wealthy for the simple fact that they are driven to the bone and no setback, no matter how great will prevent them from dusting themselves off, and then drilling full speed ahead. As Winston Churchill once said, success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.

So to finally keep my promise, here’s my version of the “Diablo epiphany.” Since, I’ve never been a gamer, I’ll put it in programming terms, but it should still be very understandably by anyone. In concurrency programming, unlike procedural (“normal”) programming, your program is built up of “agents” which send messages to one another and carry out the different parts of your program. As the name suggests they all act at the same time (at least conceptually). The reason it’s interesting, is that it’s a much better model of reality than line by line, grocery list instructions. Now in this world, there are two types of agents — lazy and eager. I think the same could be said about people . The difference is lazy agents will wait for a message containing the data they need to be passed to them before the act like “Here, file these TPS reports ASAP.” Eager agents on the other hand, are constantly requesting the data when they have nothing to do like a telemarketer that calls during dinner to ask if you’re happy with your phone service, or for a less annoying example like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, both of whom dropped out of college to do bigger and better things. They didn’t wait for the “here’s your diploma, you may now begin living” message, haha.

People can also be grouped into one of these two categories, although unlike with agents it’s much more of a continuum. It’s also important to note that, to create a reasonably complex, efficient system, you need both eager and lazy agents, but if all of them were lazy nothing would ever get done, and if all of them were eager, you would waste CPU and memory sending “are we there yet?” messages for no reason, slowing down the system. A good system requires both, and most likely agents who are  eager some of the time and lazy at others depending on the circumstances.

Now in life, someone won’t always knock on your door to offer you a better job or give you a promotion spontaneously. They do sometimes, but it’s the exception. What consequences can be drawn from this if your goal is wealth and prosperity? What conclusions can be drawn if your mission is happiness through a simple life? My point in writing this isn’t to tell you how to live your life (though I’ve been accused of that once or twice ), but to give you some insights that help you to achieve your goals, whatever they may be.

So, there you go. I managed to relate concurrency programming, to cultural perspectives on time, and the effect of attitude on one’s life. Now, don’t ever doubt I have a master plan again! Haha.  Thank you for putting up with my tangents and musings, dear readers, I love you all. Please tell me your thoughts. I live for comments. Would your characterize your attitude in life as more eager or lazy? Do you think this is optimal for reaching your goals? Who are some glistening examples of either that we can learn from? (Do you think my posts are too long?)

I hope you’re eager for my next post. I’ll try not to be too lazy in writing it!

However, his life was by no means glamorous. He looked to be in his 50’s and recently he had fallen and broken his hip out in the parking lot. He was able to make it to the emergency room and get treated, but standing up for extended periods is a problem which rules out most uneducated work options. The shelter is filled with drunks and druggies (both of which he abstains from), so peace and privacy are unlikely. He had no wife, kids, or other family. He did have friends at the shelter, though, and one of them even stopped to say hi to him as we talked. Every once in a while when got lucky and made a little extra, he would treat himself to a hotel room for the night. Still, there’s no doubt in my mind he was truly happy.

His only regret, he said, was that he would want to make enough money to get an apartment. So, I tried to come up with ideas to help him afford it. For example, Valentines Day was coming up, so I suggested that on the 14th he make a sign that says “Dedications to someone special $2.” He would have made a killing! The idea was unthinkable. “That’s pan-handling!” he said, “I would never have a sign.” Even though, he was homeless he still had an idea of dignity and pride, that he holds to dearly. I guess that was more important to him than having his own apartment. I could have mentioned other ideas, such as quitting smoking, but I knew they would fall on deaf ears. The bottom line is, he’s content with his simple life, and wasn’t willing to make the effort to improve his circumstances, even though despite his predicament, he still has options.

I think he must be the closest thing to a Buddhist monk I’ve met in person. He was very wise. If you happen to see him, give him a few bucks or buy him a meal. In a strange sort of way,  he inspires me.

Do you think this is a valid lifestyle? Is eliminating desire and living a simple life a much easier way to happiness than striving for wealth and power? Did you read this post from my Eager vs. Lazy Attitude post? If so go back and finish it! Haha.

The Dali Lama, and I think most practicing Buddhists, take a different perspective on the matter. I’ll preface this by saying there are at least 23 different documented interpretations under the Buddhist umbrella, but I think Buddhisms in the most general sense the understanding of the emotional impact of one’s thoughts and perspectives on oneself, and the application of this awareness to determine the most pragmatic viewpoint to adopt. In other words, buddhists realize that even if someone deliberately did wrong by you with no remorse, let’s say by lets say emotional abuse, holding on to negative feelings towards him is not productive. The only thing achieved by doing so is that you feel miserable when you’re reminded of the occurrence and usually do everything possible to forget that it happened, even scolding yourself for remembering it when you do. Also, keep in mind that the individual causing you the grief is completely unaffected by this. How can they be punished if you don’t interact with them, or if you do, do you think really think that they wayward evil eye in their direction is really going to affect them for more than an instant? The Buddhist solution, which I whole heartedly agree with, would be to forgive them, try to understand why they might do what they did, and if necessary feel sorry for them, but under no circumstances continue to hate and condemn for their actions. You can condemn the action without condemning the person, as the Dali Lama said.

In that case, where do we stand. You feel relieved and can stand tall with no chip on that shoulder. Every day seems just a little bit brighter. There’s no longer any need to repress any scorn, because you’ve delt with your emotions. The best part: it only took a couple of minutes of looking in the mirror and saying “What they did was terrible, but it’s not worth dwelling on. I forgive them.” Do it for yourself, not for them. After all, you’re the number one person that your attitudes affect, so doesn’t it make sense to optimize them to increase your happiness? I just saved you decades of grief, and thousands in therapy bills! If you’re in a giving mood, here’s a good charity (it’ll make you feel great .

Regardless or the details of Karma and rebirth, I see Buddhism as the deeply wise realization of our thoughts and perspective’s impact on our emotional state, in order to move towards inner peace and happiness.

I take this even a step further in my own life. I’ve been experiementing with the radical concept of “don’t condemn anyone for any reason” or even better to convert it to a positive, actionable view “accept and try to understand everyone I meet.” It seems simple at first glance, but after I truly implemented that perspective in every interaction I noticed a huge difference. I was the smart geek type in high school, who didn’t have any friends, so as a defense mechanism I used the “condemn everyone” strategy for a long time. I wasn’t completely miserable, but it’s no shock that I didn’t make many friends. After all, would you be friends with someone who with a look says “you’re a moron unworthy of my time”? The incredible simple act of showing interest and compassion to everyone I meet has transformed me into a social butterfly overnight. Everyone on the planet has negative as well as positive characteristics. It’s your choice which ones you focus on, but it should be a conscious choice. The advantages of seeing the good in people are immeasurable. Of course I don’t mean deluding yourself, there’s no need. It’s all a matter of perspective. If you can’t see the good, that’s only because you’re blinding yourself to it, and that really is willful ignorance. As soon as you open your eyes to the good, you will instantly feel a change in yourself.

Wonderful worlds of happiness and joy will open up with an nearly effortless change in perspective. Try it!

I would love to hear your thoughts about this in the comments. Do you condemn people? Is it every OK to? Do you agree with everything I’ve said, or are there parts you disagree with? Either way, let me know!

Co-Cultural Perspectives on Time

While the clash between the monochronic and polychronic perceptions of time can rifle the best of intentions in international settings, similar challenges can occur within a co-culture. In the United States, the Hawaiian culture provides an example of how co-cultures can clash. Two times systems exist in Hawaii where “the Polynesians live somewhere between two time systems: Haole time and Hawaiian time. When you hear someone say “See you at two o’clock haole time,” that means that they will see you at precisely two o’clock. But if you hear someone say, “I will be there at two o’clock Hawaiian time” then the message has an entirely different meaning. This is because Hawaiian time is very lax and basically means “when you get there.”

After that there should be no doubt in your mind where I belong. The only question is how did a Hawaiian soul get born in Bulgaria?