Tom Talks

Pushing the Limits to create a Signature Style

2013-05-15T09:02:00.000-05:00

A look into the Life and Closet of Tom James Client: Phil Graham

The clothing that Phil Graham selects is an integral and highly visible part of his personal brand. With the assistance of his Tom James clothier, Duncan Ham, Mr. Graham has been able to develop a signature style and a wardrobe that is distinct and particularly suited to his profession, personality, and aspirations.

Who in this picture is getting your attention?

Having worked at a Ralph Lauren Polo store in college, Mr. Graham’s interest in clothing and style got an early education. He recalled to us that his first suit was a navy double breasted number by Polo. Since that classic beginning, his wardrobe has taken a series of turns that have refined his personal expression. A client for the past twelve years, the first suit Phil purchased from Tom James was a custom Executive Collection blue windowpane with a three-button jacket and pleated pants with cuffs and a full break.

A marketer at heart, and not one to follow the crowd, Phil says, “I like things that are in style but usually past the limits of what most people are comfortable wearing. I buy what I like and don’t care what others might think, however I want it to be the current cut and fit.” I take the ‘I don’t care what others might think’ thought to mean that Phil will not allow traditional norms to confine the colors and patterns he chooses to wear. Why get lost in a crowd? You can’t blend in if you want to stand out.

Taking that perspective as good advice, why not dress in a way that makes you feel at your best and supremely confident? Mr. Ham advises that “dressing the mind is sometimes more important than dressing the body. In other words, people should dress for their own confidence. What are you telling your subconscious when you look in the mirror every morning? Professionals like Phil affirm to themselves through getting dressed each day that they are successful.”

Mr. Graham told us that he wished he had learned sooner to avoid dressing in a way that might cause another person to mistake him for someone other than who he is: a successful, professional marketer of financial services and insurance. As he put it, “Do you dress for your profession or do you look like a PGA golfer? Of course, if you are on the PGA, then golf shirts are acceptable.”

One of the most valuable benefits of working with Tom James and Duncan Ham, says Phil, is that “Duncan knows what I like and speeds up the process. I don’t have to shop all over the place to find unique items. Most importantly he knows the fit and style I want and makes everything that way. Lastly he helps me manage my wardrobe and eliminates older items that I don’t wear anymore (of course making space for new stuff.)

With ESPN basketball analyst, Jay Bilas (left), Phil is the one with the Ferragamo shoes that perfectly coordinate with his tie and pocket square.

Phil’s favorite piece of wardrobe advice?

“Spend money on nice shoes. Nothing looks worse than a nice suit and a cheap pair of shoes.”

Looking for a new limit to push (sartorially),

TUMI: More than the perfect carry-on luggage

2013-05-06T16:35:00.000-05:00

Most business travelers are at least aware of the TUMI brand of luggage…especially the carry-on sized roller bags that fit in the overhead bins on most airlines. I never travel without the one I’ve owned for a few years. It works like a dream and still looks like new.

But did you know that they are also making an ever-expanding range of supremely well-designed travel accessories? Admittedly, I didn’t know about some of these genius ideas until recently, but that’s what I and my TJ Associates are here for... looking out for your total wardrobe experience.”

One of the smartest accessories from TUMI is their Mobile Power Pack. I don’t know about you, but my technology devices all get used a ton and I am constantly in need of keeping them juiced up. Being able to charge two devices at the same time is a serious bonus.

TUMI Mobile Power Pack style 14376- is engineered to be compact, efficient and powerful—a reliable tool for hassle-free charging of cell phones, iPads and other USB devices. With ample power (5,000 mAh) and two power ports, the TUMI Mobile Power Pack can charge two devices at the same time and is designed to work anywhere in the world. This kit includes the power pack, USB/USB micro power cable and protective ballistic carrying case. MSRP $145

The travel kit you will never need to replace is from TUMI. It looks small, but I assure you, it will hold it all!

TUMI Travel Kit Style 22190-Our most popular, slim design fits easily into many of Tumi's outside U-zip pockets. Features easy-access opening to interior. This item can be monogrammed with three initials. MSRP $95

I talk to a lot of guys who don’t wear ties (you did catch that rhyme, right? Nice.) when they are in their home city/office, but when they travel, the suits and ties come out in full force. Business development is serious work. Good ties cost good money, so it’s worth taking good care of them.

While text book advice suggests rolling your ties for storage at home and on the road, the truth is that most guys don’t do that. Rolling your luggage: easy. Rolling your ties: not so easy. And a rolled tie is still vulnerable to catastrophe inside your luggage. A better solution? Why not carefully store your chosen ties in this awesome case when travelling? As long as you don’t let a bacon wrapped meatball land on them like I did with my new favorite tie (now not so favorite tie) last weekend, your ties will last a lot longer and pack super easy.

Austin Tie Case - Luxurious detailing, refined aesthetics, organizational efficiency and technical innovation are raised to the highest levels with The Bedford Collection. Incorporating the finest leathers and fabrics with artisanal craftsmanship and advanced engineering, Bedford is a reflection of Tumi's heritage and ongoing dedication to absolute excellence. This slim tie case slips into virtually any carry-on or packing case, keeping your ties wrinkle free. Made from durable ballistic nylon with leather trim (black) or Italian texture coated canvas with leather trim (grey), it has a zip-around closure and four collar stay slots. MSRP $195

TomTalks and Tom James enthusiastically endorse the TUMI product line because of the TUMI difference.

The TUMI difference: Innovation is our Obsession

With a 30-year history of creating superior products for discerning professionals and frequent travelers, TUMI is recognized as the world's leading brand of luxury travel, business and lifestyle accessories. TUMI’s success can be traced to its continual focus on its principles of design excellence, functional superiority and technical innovation.

Flawlessly crafted and designed with meticulous attention to detail, Tumi’s sleek and stylish business cases, luggage, and other travel accessories ideally complement a Tom James wardrobe. Tom James merges the finest fabrics with artisanal craftsmanship while Tumi's ongoing dedication to technical innovation and supreme functionality makes them an ideal collaborator.

Tom and TUMI, working together to keep you covered, confident and comfortable,

The Collar and Cuffs set the Tone! (part 2)

2013-04-25T09:14:00.000-05:00

At the end of your shirt sleeves are cuffs, and at the end of those cuffs are your hands, which are both exposed (unless you’re wearing gloves) and expressive. When you point at something, reach for the check or extend your hand to shake that of another, your shirt cuff is momentarily front and center.

In simple terms, there are three types of shirt cuffs:

Barrel
French
Link/Convertible

A Barrel cuff is the most common and least likely to draw any special attention. Usually it has a rounded corner and fastens by one button, though a two-button cuff is favored by many who have their shirts custom made.

A French cuff (aka "double cuff") is the most formal and substantial of cuffs, and the most likely to garner both attention and respect. Consisting of a double-fold of cloth and requiring the use of cuff links, French cuffs are both dressy and sophisticated, providing a more formal and finished appearance. When the occasion demands a substantial statement, the extra minute or two it may take to put them on will be more than worth the effort.

A link cuff, though viewed dimly by French cuff purists, is popular among those who like to wear cuff links, but want it to be as easy as possible. In this case, the cuff is made similar to a barrel cuff, but instead of fastening with a button there is simply a button hole on each side of the cuff. Should you ever need to wear a full dress/white tie ensemble, a link cuffed pique shirt is the proper shirt. Taking link cuffs one step further (to the chagrin of some and the delight of others), a convertible cuff if one that includes both the button of a barrel cuff and the extra buttonhole of a link cuff, giving the wearer the ultimate in versatility.

It may go without saying, but because of what I have witnessed and requests that I have heard, say it I must: it is not advisable to wear French cuffs with button-down collars. Though it is possible to have a shirt made that way, it flies in the face of protocol. If you are contrarian by nature, then by all means, have it your way. As a rule, French cuffs go with formal or dressy collars. Shirts with button-down collars should have barrel cuffs.

A final thought: Considering your upcoming social calendar, in the event that you will be drinking beer from a plastic solo cup, then go with barrel cuffs. You will probably want to roll up your sleeves anyway. If, on the other hand, you will be drinking a martini (whether shaken or stirred) from a classic cocktail glass, then go French.

Always in style, from head to…wrist,

The Collar and Cuffs set the Tone! (part 1)

2013-04-19T12:25:00.000-05:00

Choosing wisely what shirt collar and cuffs to wear is fundamental to setting the tone of your appearance. A change of the collar or cuffs won’t change the language of your look but will give it a different accent. For example, a cutaway collar is decidedly more formal than a button down and a point collar is more staid or common than a tab or pin collar. French cuffs are more formal than the more common barrel cuff. But, it’s really not about your shirt’s collar and cuffs. It’s about your face and hands.

Just above the shirt collar is your face, which is where you want other people to look. Like the frame around a picture, the goal of your shirt collar is to perfectly frame your face, to immediately draw the eye to your face and eyes. Think about the shape of your face. Is it pretty much average, a little longer than most or as round as a cantaloupe? Are you an average size person, built more like an offensive lineman, or relatively slight in build? Your shirt collar should complement your overall build, the shape of your face, and the style of your clothing (particularly the lapel of your suit jacket.)

Conventional wisdom (that is, a preponderance of thoroughly considered, professional opinion) suggests that your shirt collar should counter balance, offset, or compensate for any deviation from “regular.” A counter balance is a weight that balances another weight. In general, a person with a long, narrow face should wear spread collars and one with a round face should wear narrower point collars.

The best shirt collar for you is one with the height, spread, and point length that comfortably balances with your overall build, the shape of your face, and the length of your neck. If you are having shirts custom made you can have the height of the collar band adjusted in the front and back to the length of your neck (Note: The gentleman in the pink, spread collar shirt above would look more balanced with an extra high front and back on his shirt collar.)

Which one of the collar styles on the progression above is best for you?

Three fashion collars that are enjoying a moderate renaissance are the tab, rounded or club, and pin collars. All three of these collar styles require a tie that can achieve a relatively small knot. The tab collar is particularly versatile and appropriate with modern clothing that is cut trimmer and with narrow lapels. The rounded collar is more theatrical or eccentric. The pin collar will bring out your inner Gatsby.

At a minimum, from the full range of collar style options, decide on a dress collar style (one that you would wear with a tie) and a casual collar style that you most prefer and that look the best on you. Go deep with those two collars and then try some others that depart from that foundation as you define or evolve your personal style.

Part 2 will cover more on cuffs.

Setting the tone,

Express Yourself: Choose with Care your Shirts and Ties

2013-04-09T14:22:00.001-05:00

If the truth be told, any article of clothing you wear is afforded some opportunity for self-expression. Even your undergarments – from traditional boxers shorts to the more ”evolved” Tommy John. Had to throw that in there because I knew where some of your minds immediately went too. Tom ain’t no fool!

But, to focus on those items that are most visible and tend to attract the most attention by those who only see you with your pants on: shirts, ties, and other accessories provide the most leverage for self-expression, the element of your personality that is fundamental to the positive persuasion of others and to getting what you want out of life.

On a recent Southwest Airlines flight one of the flight attendants kept referring to the onboard restroom as the “lav.” It didn’t throw me, but I wondered if everybody on board immediately knew what he meant. Maybe someone thought that he had a thing for a lighter shade of purple. In similar fashion, my favorite shirt fabric pattern – gingham- is one that was originally favored by the “mods” (or modernists) of the 1960’s London jazz culture, as opposed to the “trads.” It may be that my personal love affair with gingham was inspired by my pre-adolescent infatuation with Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island, but that is just a theory.

I would argue that gingham is eternally modern and while pin, banker’s or bengal stripes are forever traditional. That being said, just as with tailored clothing, how a garment is cut and styled, regardless of the fabric, is fundamental to whether it is modern or traditional. Did I just contradict myself? Kind of, but not really. Of particular note, modern clothing and shirts today remain decidedly trim in appearance. As with all patterns, the smaller or tighter the pattern, the dressier it is. So a mini-gingham check is dressier than a table cloth gingham, though neither pattern is particularly dressy.

A solid white shirt is the dressiest, followed by a very light solid blue. Lighter shades of any color are dressier than darker shades. To some it up, finer and lighter is dressier than bolder, larger and darker.

What’s your favorite shirt fabric pattern? Do you know what it expresses about you?

Ties follow a similar progression.

Arguably the most formal tie is solid black and the most versatile version of a solid black tie is a woven grenadine. The literary Bond favored a black knit tie, while the film version Bond has often worn woven grenadine ties, especially in dark navy.

This may come as a surprise to some who are reading this, but men still wear ties. Perhaps nothing is a more a personal choice or a more significant badge of association, stature or significance than a man’s choice of neckwear. Numerous clubs, whether formally or unspoken but well understood, have their own signature neckwear, be it a certain brand or style, or a very particular pattern and combination of colors.

A complete neckwear wardrobe should include at least some choices from the four basic classifications:

Woven
Dot
Striped
Repeat

In order for formality….most formal to least…here is an example selection that could form the base of a modern neckwear wardrobe:

Whether your personal expression of the day is intended to be more serious, social, or studious... as the old saying goes, “we come become more like the people who we associate with.” And our choices of shirts and neckwear are meaningful ways that we signal those associations.

Carefully expressed,

How to spell Comfort: A-G-A-V-E

2013-04-01T11:36:00.001-05:00

Courage, compassion, conservation, confidence and, most emphatically, comfort describe what Agave Denim lifestyle clothing is all about. Tom James and our customers like Agave for several reasons, not the least of which is that, like most Tom James clothing, Agave products are Made-in-the U.S.A. Designed in Portland, Oregon and carefully sewn and hand-finished in Southern California, Agave jeans and T-shirts epitomize a “West Coast” vibe. What’s more, Agave production is environmentally sustainable, using luxurious fabrics that are soft and that want to move with you.

The Agave style is defined by one's inner confidence and the ability to enjoy the simple beauty of life. Agave exists to design and produce the best tailored, most beautiful and highest quality denim jeans, authentically sewn and hand finished, exclusively in California. One thing that has never changed, nor will ever change, is our commitment to making jeans and tee shirts in America. We know it is the best thing for our product, the best thing for our customers, and the best thing for our country. We know we could make our jeans a lot less expensively in China, Turkey or Mexico but we choose not to. We feel it is in the heritage of denim to be made in America. We also know it is our way thinking globally and sourcing locally.

Whether on the laid back west coast or any other part of the U.S.A. (and many other parts of the developed world), when not wearing traditional business clothing, a substantial percentage of men (women too) prefer to and choose to wear jeans and T-shirts. Why? Lots of reasons to be sure. For one, it’s vintage America. It’s in our cultural DNA. Jeans and T-shirts are associated with everything from the 19th century gold rush to Marlon Brando and James Dean, the Happy Days of the post war 50’s, and the modern gold rush inspired by the technological innovations including but not limited to the personal computer, the internet, and the magic of software.

If your next jeans and T-shirts are from Agave Denim, say hello to “effortlessly cool” comfort and a lot more Joie de Vivre. To complete your look, pair your Agave Denim with a soft-tailored sport jacket. You’ve heard me say many times before that in modern dress etiquette, nothing more universally conveys respect and professionalism than a tailored jacket. Need a second opinion on that point? Consult the April 2013 issue of GQ, pg. 208. Your Tom James Clothing Professional can show you a broad range of options in wool, cotton, linen, silk or various blends.

Weekend comfortable, yet highly respectable,

Button-Up Shirts: The Right Balance, the Perfect Mix

2013-03-20T15:11:00.000-05:00

Dressing in a way that allows you to move confidently from a day at the office to a night on the town is all about striking the right balance between tailored and relaxed, the perfect mix of dressy and casual elements. Within the world of Tom James, a brand that epitomizes this attitude with a modern, global perspective, are dress shirts and sport shirts from Gitman Bros. of Ashland, Pennsylvania.

The shirt, tie, and vest combination shown here could just as easily be dressed up with a gray flannel suit or dressed down (perhaps removing the tie and opening the shirt collar) with a pair of jeans. The shirt above (purple and blue check) could be tucked in, then add a blazer or relatively solid sport jacket and you are ready for more important business in a casual environment.

At Gitman Bros., craftsmanship and technology - a perfect mix of the old and the new - go into each and every shirt and tie they make. More than 80 minutes and 50 steps go into the creation of a shirt, which is made of 25 separate pieces.

While the brand is steeped in heritage, the Gitman creative team is continually innovating, constantly adapting to what the discerning customer demands and expects. This strategy is meeting with wide appeal not only in the U.S.A. but in many other parts of the world.

In the words of esteemed menswear veteran and President of Gitman, John Minahan,

“Menswear today is about total versatility of wardrobe. The modern man loves both a pinstripe suit and a denim jean...but he is addicted to neither. His normal week might include two sartorial suit days, a dress down denim day, an ornate sport coat with open collar day, and perhaps a washed shirt-loosened tie day.”

Minahan goes on to say,

“There is nothing casual about the planning of today's casual wear. It must be precise and appealing, as it is as important to the modern, professional man’s ‘appearance image’ as his navy suit. Gitman offers shirts whose cloth and fit recognize and accomodate this reality. A Gitman shirt is now what it has been for generations...the iconic American shirt of its era.”

What is your all-time favorite Gitman shirt?

Don’t have one? Maybe it’s time to get a new favorite or two in the mix!

Makin’ it look easy,

Practical Luxury for your Complete Lifestyle: Holland & Sherry

2013-03-13T09:26:00.000-05:00

“Make every day a Holland & Sherry day!”

- Dougal Munro, President, Holland & Sherry, Inc.

For most of their 175 plus year history, Holland & Sherry has been known primarily as a standard setting provider of luxury cloth used by prestigious tailors and luxury tailored clothing brands. That legacy continues today, stronger than ever. The exciting news is that the Holland & Sherry story is writing new chapters, extending the brand to other aspects of a complete luxury lifestyle.

Building on a carefully crafted reputation, the Holland & Sherry label has been extended to include dress shirts and sport shirts, fine handmade neck wear, sweaters woven in Scotland from cashmere and silk, and jeans (and other pants)crafted in Pennsylvania from the most amazing 3-ply Italian denim, linen, cotton twill and cotton blends. This has made not only more probable, but in fact a regular occurrence, the actual living out of Dougal Munro’s frequent admonition to “Make every day a Holland & Sherry day!” For all but the most casual of days and occasions, a man can now be dressed practically from head-to-toe (from shoulder to ankle anyway) in Holland & Sherry clothing.

You might be thinking to yourself, “I understand investing in my more formal business clothing, but I don’t need to put as much into what I wear for business casual and on the weekends.” If that sounds like you, consider that “a man who knows how to dress appropriately when the rules aren’t as defined (as they are with traditional business dress) communicates confidence. Quiet confidence - the kind of confidence that people like to associate with.” (from Business Class:The Power of Personal Presence.)

Whether for formal, business, or a more casual social occasion, Holland & Sherry quality is for those who don’t want to or need to settle, but want to enjoy the very best.

Looking forward to my next Holland & Sherry day (otherwise known as tomorrow... if you know what I mean),

The Groom with the Awe Factor!

2013-02-21T13:03:00.000-06:00

Cookie cutter. Very Traditonal. That was “nice”. Or worse yet, “that was kind of awkward!”

Not exactly what you want people to say after your once-in-a-lifetime wedding? How about none of the above!!! Why not just go for awesome? If ever there was a time to display the Awe Factor, your wedding is a pretty good candidate, no?

As with most things in life, if you closely follow a set of time-tested guidelines, listen to the advice of someone who you trust who has walked the path before you, your odds of avoiding awkward are 99.9%. That’s a good start. But, since you are well above average, shall we shoot a little higher?

To create the awe factor and have people (especially you and your Bride) remembering your wedding in the fondest of terms for years to come, here are a few things to keep in mind:

1. Don’t miss your own wedding.

I’m not suggesting that you might just forget about it, sleep in too long, or get seriously cold feet at the last minute. What I’m saying is – be present. Be in the moment. Often times the participants in a big event, be it the Super Bowl or your wedding, get so caught up in the both the minutiae and the hoopla that when it’s over the events of the day are at best a surreal, blurry memory. You don’t want to have to watch the video to remember your own wedding.

West coast client, Jack S., recounted to me that the best piece of pre-wedding advice he received was to take a brief “time out” with his bride during the reception. The advice giver told him that everything is going to move so fast, so many people are going to want to greet you and congratulate you, that I suggest you take a few minutes during the reception, pull your bride aside to a private space, and just talk about what you’ve been experiencing together. Tell her again how beautiful she is, how much you love her, and how excited you are to be spending the rest of your life with her. Jack said, "In retrospect, that was the best five minutes of the entire day."

2. Look and feel your very best.

It’s time to bring your “A” game. Get plenty of rest. Groom the groom. Get dressed in a suit of clothes that makes you feel like the King who today is getting married to his Queen. The color needs to be right, the cloth must feel amazing, and the clothes should fit you like they were made for just one person – YOU.

3. Enlist extra Help.

Married just a few months ago, Brent F. designated one of his groomsmen (other than the Best Man) to keep an eye on everyone to make sure that they kept their ties tied, jackets on, and sunglasses off (His preference. In your case, the weather may require them…or you may just plain want a shot like the one above). “Seems like easy instructions for the pre-ceremony pictures,” said Brent, “but I was glad to have someone other than the photographer or myself reminding them.”

4. Get to Know your Guest List

We all know the feeling. You see someone whose name you know you should know, but you draw a blank in the moment. At best, you feel slightly awkward. There’s that word again. We want to avoid that “A” word. Leave the awkward moments to the less prepared. At worst, you embarrass yourself…in front of your bride….on your wedding day. Way to go, slick!

How about we try this: Before the wedding, get a copy of the guest list (especially her side of the family) and study it like it will be on the final exam. Ask your fiancé to tell you about these people, especially the ones you have yet to meet. If you can get a list with pictures, all the better. Then on your wedding day, one of those relatives will approach you and you will heroically say, “Cousin Bill, great to finally meet you. How did trout fishing go this year?” Yes, you really are that good. I know! You’ve got to care a little bit extra, beyond the average to do this. But she’s worth it, right?

5. Put on your Dancing Shoes!

Every wedding reception is different, but pretty much every one of them throughout all of history has included dancing. There are special dances: The Father of the Bride dancing with the Bride for example. But no dance is more important or potentially nerve racking than your first dance with your new bride. All eyes will be on the both of you. This is your opportunity to cinch the deal, convincing any remaining skeptics from your bride’s side of the family that she just married the smoothest dude on the planet. Not already giving J.T. (Justin Timberlake) or Gene Kelly a run for their money. Then take a few lessons. No shame there.

Not a comprehensive list, but some pretty good tips I think. The rest is up to you. Now go have some fun, groom. And don’t forget to thank me and the legion of other people who will help to make your wedding day awesome.

Awesome every day,

A Timeline for the Groom who doesn’t want to Sweat

2013-02-08T15:23:00.003-06:00

(anymore than is absolutely necessary)

Some of the best advice I’ve ever read or heard about succeeding at most anything, including having an awesome wedding and a happy marriage, is to begin with the end in mind and work backwards to determine when and where to start.

So, where to begin? Try this one on, future groom. Assuming that you’ve got your girl, and that she said yes (critical step), the next step is to get a picture or a vision of how you want the day to look and feel. Who will be there? Will it be formal or more relaxed, in church or on the beach? Fortunately for you, this vision is probably already in “her” head, crystal clear, and in full detail. Whether that is actually the case or not, it will be good for both of you to get on the same page from the get go to avoid most of the misunderstandings, frustrated voice mails, and hurt feelings that might otherwise occur.

Great weddings don’t just happen. They require proper planning and precise execution. Unless yours is to be one of the “shotgun” variety, or for some other reason yours is to be a relatively short engagement period, you want to get out ahead of this thing way in advance. Since most marriages lead to children as well, I’m thinking that about nine months before the big day is when the timeline should begin. No further explanation necessary, right?

Nine Months before the wedding day, here is your checklist:

Announce your engagement to family and friends
Choose a Venue (the best ones sell out way in advance. Even this far in advance may be too late)
Set a Budget
Create a Guest List
Select your Groomsmen and Best Man
Send Save the Date Cards

Six Months out:

Secure an Officiant
Gift Registry (if you make it through this process and still like each other, then for sure it's a match made in heaven)
Order Invitations
Select Photographer/Videographer
Hire DJ or Band
Hire a Caterer (if separate from venue)
Order a Wedding Cake
Arrange for Hotel Rooms and Transportation (getaway car, limos for guests, that sort of thing…)
Finalize plans for Wedding Night and Honeymoon

Three Months before the day (it’s getting closer):

Plan Rehearsal Dinner
Line up your Speakers/Readers
Line up/Hire any Special Music for the Ceremony
Pick out and order your Rings
And most importantly: Order clothing for you and your groomsmen (Custom designed and made with the help of your Tom James Clothier. Would you have it any other way?)

One Month before (So close you can feel it breathing down your neck now...):

Choose amazing gifts for your Bride
Select awesome thank you gifts for your Groomsmen
Get your Marriage License
Make a Wedding Day Checklist (leave no stone unturned, plan for eventualities, etc.)
Get a Haircut (a few days before)

Two Weeks Before

Attend the best Bachelor Party ever!

Wedding Day

Maybe get a little sleep the night before?
Shower, shave, etc.
Make sure that the Best Man has the rings and Marriage License
Get to the church (venue) on time (that is, when you’re supposed to be there, not just five minutes before your Bride is walking down the aisle)

One Hour before Show Time:

Get dressed
Tie your Bow Tie (do not wait until the last minute to do this like WAB did)
Consume a shot (or other appropriate amount) of your favorite beverage (calm the nerves; get your mind right...)
Take a deep breath. Relax and have fun. It's your Wedding Day!

Ready are we now?

Not sweating this one,

Street Smarts: Sprezzatura

2013-02-01T12:30:00.000-06:00

A Big Man in a little Coat doesn’t look Smart

2013-01-31T11:13:00.000-06:00

How your Body Type determines the Cut of your Clothing

As quoted by Nicholas Antongiavanni (pen name), in his book The Suit: A Machiavellian Approach to Men’s Style, Xenophon wrote in his Life of Cyrus (4th or 5th century B.C.) “It is not reasonable that a big man wear a little coat, or that a small man wear a big coat, and expect to look smart.”

Albeit getting the size of your clothing correct may not prove very challenging, getting the best “cut,” especially for a tailored jacket, often proves to be more elusive. Each variation of cut is designed to emphasize one thing and to downplay another. Since it could mean other things, when I speak of the “cut” of clothing, I am referring to the basic shape and style as well the proportions of a given garment.

For every body type there are particular cuts of clothing that simply look better than others. For men, body type is based on three main dimensional factors:

Height (Vertical)
Girth (Horizontal)
Proportion (Distribution)

To keep it simple, with the respect to the vertical dimension, a person is tall, average, or short (diminutive). Horizontally, a man is of ample girth (stout), average, or thin (slight). With regard to proportion, a man is V-shaped (chest wider than hips), average (chest and hips about the same), or A-shaped (hips noticeably wider than chest).

How would you describe/categorize your dimensions?
What cuts of clothing look best on you?

If you fit with “average” in all three categories, well lucky you! You can wear pretty much whatever you want and look good, assuming that what you choose is in good taste, appropriate to your level of maturity, station in life....that sort of thing. If, however, you fit into any one of the other categories, then what you choose to wear will require more thought and attention.

All of the following advice assumes that you want to use clothing to its best advantage – to create some illusion or ideal - whether to make yourself look taller, thinner, less imposing, or to improve your chance at a desired association or result. The basic idea then is to create a visual counter balance to anything that may be out of balance - to visually emphasize an opposite of your natural body type in order to balance your appearance.

Space will not permit an example of what to do for every body type, but the following should give you a framework to use for your individual situation.

Short (vertical)/Average (girth)/Average (proportion)

Coat:
Two-button with a lower button position or a Three-button (soft roll), high armhole, high notch and narrow lapels, roped shoulder, with a coat length as short as possible while still covering the seat. Slightly more than average cutaway in front will allow more of the pant to be visible. No vents or pocket flaps.

Pant:
Worn high on the waist, beltless, with a single pleat and no cuffs. The pant length should be as long as possible without breaking too much on top of the shoe.

All of those design details accentuate the vertical, working to create the illusion of height. A two-button coat with lower button position creates a long lapel while a three-button coat also draws out a vertical emphasis. The higher notch and more structured shoulder elevates the eye, and a higher waist, beltless pant provides the longest possible leg line, while a single pleat is trimmer than a pant with more pleats. A flat front pant would also work, though it would typically be worn lower, more on the hips. In that case, I would suggest less cut away on the jacket, because the goal for the vertically challenged is to continue all vertical lines as much as possible.

Tall/Ample/Average

Coat:
Two-button (or soft roll three button), easy-fit, standard notch and lapel width, natural shoulder, coat length that covers the seat or slightly longer. A tall man with ample girth will do better to keep coat details to a minimum. If of average girth or relatively thin, then he should wear more pattern and texture and add details such as pocket flaps and a ticket pocket. A tall, thin man will always look especially smart in double-breasted clothing as well.

Pant:
Worn at the natural waist, with forward pleats (facing toward zipper) and cuffs, fitting with a bit of ease. This style will do the most to counter the effect of girth, especially when viewed from the profile. If the pants must be worn below an ample mid section, then they should be flat front and still have an easy fit. Pleats worn lower on the waist have no chance of draping properly. A man with ample girth or stout of build should never wear trim fitting clothing if he wants to be comfortable and look his best.

Those are but two examples, but, in any case, the goal along this line of thinking is to arrive at the best style and cut choice for your particular build. From that point, any deviations based on fashion or style preference will at least be better informed decisions, and you will find yourself wearing your clothing in comfort and with a more confident swagger.

Is there another body type you’d like to ask about?

Always a cut above,

Wearing Patterns: A clear path to Individual Style

2013-01-25T08:45:00.000-06:00

For the most part, since early childhood I suppose, most of us haven’t particularly cared for rules. Rules are confining. Those who are inclined toward creativity and proclaiming their originality are especially prone to finding ways to bend the rules to their own will. There’s an old saying: You first have to know the rules before you can break the rules. Dalai Lama XIV is quoted as saying, “Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.”

With respect to wearing pattern (and color), there are rules that neither you nor I invented that, when given due respect, will allow any one of us to appear to others in a way that is both agreeable and very individual. The fact of the matter is that the eye seeks visual harmony and is distracted or annoyed by visual dissonance or incongruity. That is one of those rules or laws of nature.

When what you are wearing is harmonious in color and pattern, the people who see you better enjoy the experience and you enjoy a better reception. It is in knowing the rules, including the major-minor rules, and then effectively following, breaking, or bending them where a clear path to individual style is made visible.

Not to be confused with monotony, harmony is a pleasing or congruent arrangement of parts. It’s all about how you put it together. I’ve heard it said by others and I’ve said it myself when seeing someone who is either a particularly well proportioned human being or is simply dressed in a way that is especially well done, “She (or he) is put together!”

Harmony – being “put together” - can be achieved in a nearly endless variety of combinations of pattern, color, and texture. In this forum, we will deal mostly with the mixing of patterns, and that in the simplest of terms. Pattern, or form - whether stripes, checks, plaids, paisleys, or geometrics - is based on lines, both straight and curved, and how they are configured or relate to one another. The successful wearing and mixing of patterns – achieving visual compatibility instead of optical vibration - involves several factors, and especially these:

Scale (proportion)
Intensity (contrast)
Type of pattern (stripe, check, etc.)
Color

Rules to Guide You:

1. When combining two like patterns - two stripes for example - vary the scale of each. If the jacket pattern is a large plaid, then combine it with a shirt (or contrasting vest) exhibiting checks that are closer together. If your shirt has narrow stripes, then you can wear it with a jacket that has wider stripes. This rule holds true, even if another item in the total look is not solid, but of a different pattern.

2. When combining two different patterns – a stripe and a check – they will better harmonize if similar in scale. The exception to this rule – and aren’t there always exceptions to every rule? – is the combing two smaller or tight patterns. If at least one or both are muted or of subtle intensity, then you will probably not give others a headache when they look at you. Otherwise, if one pattern is small/tight, then it is likely best combined with another pattern that is larger in dimension.

3. Mixing three patterns - a herringbone jacket, check shirt, and stripe tie – is especially in harmony when all three patterns are similar in scale and intensity. Even when all of the pieces are from the same color family, the use of multiple patterns creates substantial visual interest. If you want to create more “pop” – a desire that I frequently hear – then consider choosing a tie of bolder intensity than the suit and shirt or varying the dimension of one garment in the ensemble.

Not forgetting the simple elegance of suits, jackets, shirts, and ties of solid color made from beautiful cloths, the rules above provide a basic framework for successfully wearing patterns. The point is to use pattern to your every advantage to announce your individuality and to communicate clearly who you are and what you’re all about.

Mixing it up with style and substance,

Your Individuality is Showing

2013-01-15T09:10:00.003-06:00

How your Individuality is Revealed by your Clothing

What is it about you and your appearance that most distinguishes you from your rival colleague, your arch competitor, or the mass of other professionals in your generation?

What is it that others immediately recognize and admire about you when they see you?

A younger colleague recently described me to someone else as “smart.” Of course, I immediately applauded his keen insight and then concluded that his perception of me must have something to do with my appearance! Is it because I recently started wearing glasses? They do make me look at little like Clark Kent (aka Superman. I’m just sayin’). Or is it because my office walls are lined with books (some of which I’ve actually read)? Or is the reason my occasional wearing of a bow tie? I am also regularly described as a nice guy, somewhat reserved, and good with kids. I don’t even have any children, for heaven’s sake. How do people come up with these ideas?

It is clear to me that from the aggregate of all I display to the world - the words I speak and the way I sound to others, the way I behave and carry myself, and the way that I appear to others (probably even the car I drive and the way I comb my hair) – my character and individuality are revealed.

My style has evolved over many years of learning and observation, trial and error. Not one to latch on to the “fully fashioned” style of a particular designer or school of thought, I prefer to pick and choose from a range of styles and to figure out how to put them together in a way that works for me. Developing and regularly evolving an authentic, personal style has always been my goal. Having discovered the option of custom clothing early in my career has been a real advantage. Custom really opens up the range of possibilities for personal expression.


Intelligent/Capable	Creative/Charming

Refined/Sophisticated	Powerful/Commanding

Color, pattern, the style and cut of your clothing, and how it is all coordinated work to reveal any number of things about your personality and character. Stripes connote authority, while earth tones are warm and inviting. A trim cut is progressive while a cuff on your pants reads conservative and sincere. Any given complete look may strongly communicate one particular characteristic or may quietly convey a complex of meaning.

If you can come up with three or four words that best describe how you want to be perceived by others, your Tom James Clothier can help you construct a personal style and corresponding wardrobe that will enable the desired perception.

To help you along, here are a few words (by no means an exhaustive list…feel free to add your own) to consider:

Confident Competent Compelling Authoritative

Conservative Professional Intelligent Affable/Likeable

Enterprising Approachable Progressive Gentlemanly

Powerful Sharp Detailed Assured

Creative Sophisticated Intrepid (there’s a word) Modern

Charming Traditional Personable Commanding

Impressive Expert Prosperous Distinctive

Natural Prudent Refined Stylish

Successful Sincere Trustworthy Diplomatic

Fashionable Precise Imaginative

What is your clothing (and how you wear it) revealing about you?

Sartorially resplendent,

That My Own Style Be My Own

2013-01-10T14:11:00.002-06:00

“I much prefer that my own style be my own,” wrote Petrarch, “perhaps uncultivated and rude, but made to fit, as a garment, to the measure of my mind (and body), rather than to someone else’s, which may be more elegant, ambitious, and adorned, but on that, deriving from a greater genius, continually slips of, unfitted to the humble proportions of my intellect.” (Italics are mine.)

Petrarch (Francesco Petrarca) was a 14th century scholar and poet, considered to be the Father of Humanism. Clearly the idea of thinking or dressing in one’s own way is not at all a new idea, but is one that has been tested by time and proven of immense value by people of all stripes who want to intentionally project something about themselves. When an idea, or certain way of dressing, has truly become your own, it rings of authenticity and the world can’t help but take notice.

What is the measure of your ambitions for this New Year?
What are the proportions of your personality and character?
How well do your wardrobe and the way you wear it fit the measure and proportion of all that you are and aspire to be?

The way that your clothing is cut, the way it fits, and the amount and coordination of color and pattern you employ, among other considerations (the car you drive!), all impact how you are perceived by others and work to reveal your personality, character, and ambition. This month I will delve into:

How individuality is revealed in your clothing
How to effectively mix patterns and color to project the desired result
How your Body Type determines the Cut of your Clothing

Buckle your belt, keep your pants on, and get ready for the best year of your life!

Yours in all things Sartorial,

My Real Wardrobe is somewhere in that Closet!

2012-12-18T09:36:00.000-06:00

Your “real” wardrobe is the clothing that you actually enjoy wearing – clothes that fit your body, style preference, lifestyle, etc. Believe it or not, most successful people…men in particular…have a lot of clothes in the closet that they don't actually wear and feel good about. Perhaps this situation could use some attention?

The end of the year is logical time to set aside a few minutes to give thought... and a little effort... to organizing, culling out what should be given away or thrown away, and generally making sense of everything that is taking up precious space on your clothing racks and shelves.

I was in the closet of a new client this week and we took a few minutes to go through his neck wear collection. For him it was a walk down memory lane. Some of those lengths of woven silk had been hanging there since before Clinton entered the White House. After that guided tour of his neck wear history, I had him go do something else for 5 minutes while I removed the most egregious offenders. When he reviewed and agreed with what I had pulled out of the line up it was like a weight had been lifted. Even better, he can now actually see all of the great options he still has hanging there to choose from.

If you are at a point where it would be timely to go through the closet to make better sense out of everything (I recommend that you do this at least annually), the following are a few suggestions that work equally well for men or women:

Examine the fit, condition, and fashion/style of everything in your wardrobe. Try-on anything that you haven’t worn in the past six months or aren’t completely sure about the fit. Set aside anything that doesn’t work for whatever reason. Be particularly ruthless with accessories (ties, belts, etc.)
Divide your wardrobe into Four Categories:

Items that you will never wear again.
Clothing that might be worn again if properly altered, repaired or coordinated.
All of your Year-round Basics. Further divide these items as either dress or casual.
Seasonal, special occasion, and collectible or vintage garments.

Get rid of everything in the first category. Donate items that could still be useful to someone else (not too worn, stained, etc.)
Items in the second category should be altered, repaired, etc. (I can help with that.)
Clothing in the third category should be placed up front or wherever most convenient in your closet because this is your go-to clothing. Consider your dressing habits and lifestyle as you organize this portion. (I.e. button-up shirts that you wear with a suit or sport coat should be separate from others that are more casual.)
Seasonal clothing should be divided into Fall/Winter and Spring/Summer. Keep the current season’s items near the front and properly store the rest. Special occasion clothing (tuxedo, etc.) should be properly cataloged and stored.

Want to help victims of Sandy while you’re at it?

Contact the Tom James store nearest to you to donate your gently used clothing. Tom James is working with agencies in New York and New Jersey to donate your gently used business and professional clothing, but of particular importance is outerwear for cold weather.

Find the store nearest you.

Doing good while keeping it real,

A Gift that Always Fits – A Custom Made Suit

2012-12-05T10:54:00.000-06:00

I was fortunate to grow up in a home that my parents had custom built when I was just five years old. By then they already had four children, so several of the features were designed with me and my siblings in mind. Mom was the chief architect and got most of what she really wanted, the features that made life more comfortable, convenient, and enjoyable for her and her family.

In the family room, each of us had our own desktop space and drawer that were built by a cabinet maker. I know... pretty sweet, right? One long counter top in the kitchen (half marble and half cutting board) was built at a height especially suited to a shorter adult (Mom) and her young children. That was a handy feature when we all started to make our own lunches before heading off to school each morning. Work, play, and storage spaces, as well as special lighting, were designed to support my parent’s favorite hobbies, including painting, sewing, and card games.

Whether a house, or a suit of clothing, getting the features and fit just the way you want them is what custom is all about. Custom made clothing is more comfortable, wears better, and makes an impression that is unmistakably successful and confident.

When having a suit custom made, not only do you get to choose the cloth and basic style (a jacket that is two-button or three, maybe add a vest, etc.), but also specific details such as:

Fit
Shoulder expression
The number and position of pockets and buttons
The color of linings and buttonholes
Edge or Craft stitching
Several other possible options, most of which add very little if any additional cost.

Over the years many Tom James customers have given custom clothing to honor achievements and as gifts of appreciation and encouragement to:

Outstanding employees
Key team members
Younger associates
Family members
And more

	Giving the gift of custom clothing can be a completely tailored experience or as easy as giving a gift card.

C3 = Custom Car Coat

2012-11-21T09:15:00.003-06:00

I can remember several times, earlier in life, when I really wished that I had a Car Coat for the original reason it was created, to keep you warm when driving in an open car in cold weather. People with convertibles usually want to drive with the top down, no matter how cold the weather, unless it’s raining…hard.

Photos all from Wikipedia: 1925 Ford Model T; 1963 MBZ SL; 2004 Porsche Boxster

Prior to 1910, the primary body style for an American-made automobile was a convertible or open-top. Even after the closed-body model became the standard, insulation technology was lagging behind. It still could get mighty cold so people regularly wore coats and gloves when driving in the winter. Combine the diminished mobility of all that bulk with the lack of power steering, and you had an accident waiting to happen.

The Car Coat was designed with a shorter length (about 8 inches shorter than full length) and A-line shape that made it easier and more comfortable to wear when driving than the standard full length overcoat. Problem solved. But the truth is that only about 1% of all cars sold in the U.S.A. have a convertible feature. Wearing a coat and gloves while driving is hardly necessary for most people today. But the Car Coat style is as popular as ever because it is lighter, packs more easily, and is more versatile with a variety of clothing styles, from casual to business dress.

While navy or black solid are the most popular colors for a Car Coat, (I have practically lived in my navy Car Coat during the past three winters) with the option of having one custom-made, a whole range of other colors, patterns, and varying weights of cloth are available to help you develop a mini-wardrobe of coats are at least get the one that is perfect for you. In addition to the obvious choices, why not get one made from a winter weight sport jacket cloth, such as cashmere, camel’s hair, and a broad range of tweeds, checks, herringbones and plaids?

Since your new coat will be custom made, you also have choices about pockets and buttons, lining and stitching, and other details to make it one-of-a-kind. Your Tom James Clothier will expertly advise on all of the details and sizing.

Living the custom life,

Hipsters for Non-Hipsters

2012-11-13T13:41:00.000-06:00

I am not a hipster. At least I am not a hipster in the sociologically contemporary sense of the word. I have met a hipster, and have even had a conversation with one or two, but I myself am not a hipster (though I do like wearing gingham shirts.)

For those who aren’t quite up to speed, a hipster, in modern parlance, is generally a young adult/teen who connects more with alternative rather than mainstream values, fashion, music, and the like. If you prefer to wear western shirts, T-shirts with ironic sayings, over-sized eye frames, skinny jeans, or carry a courier bag, then you just might be a hipster. Evidently, trying to be ironic is fundamental to the hipster culture.

It may come as a relief to know that you don’t have to be an actual hipster to wear a hipster. If, in fact, you are someone who your friends consider to be hip, all-the-better, but even that is not a prerequisite. As recently as 1986, Huey Lewis and his band declared that it can even be “Hip to be Square.” So who’s to say exactly what is and is not “hip?” A hipster, however, is a jacket that bottoms out at right about... you guessed it... the hips.

Designed to be worn instead of a tailored sport jacket, a hipster is the perfect jacket for a fall weekend getaway, Thanksgiving at the In-laws, or a casual day at the office. If I were building a wardrobe of five essential coats for fall and winter, a hipster would be one of them.

Feeling hip…. in my hipster,

All Out – as in “Full Coverage”

2012-11-06T10:04:00.001-06:00

Full coverage costs more on the front end, but can often save your back end….if you know what I mean. After paying all of those premiums for dental insurance, you don’t want to be hit with a big bill because an un-popped popcorn kernel chipped your tooth and you didn’t have “full coverage.”

Since the 19th century glory days of outerwear, coats have been getting shorter and lighter, but there are still times when only a “full coverage” Overcoat or Topcoat (technically lighter than an overcoat) meets the required, or at least preferred, look and function.

In the realm of classic Overcoats, one can choose either single breasted or double breasted, made from heavier wool, camel hair, or cashmere cloth, or a blend of said fibers. For daytime dressy and formal evening wear, I suggest that you choose a solid (or herringbone) cloth in navy, black or charcoal. A double breasted model would also be a great choice, but single is more versatile. For extra dressiness, a Chesterfield, with its customary black velvet collar and fly front will stand above the crowd. First worn by George Stanhope, the 6th Earl of Chesterfield, it is considered to be the original overcoat. Thanks to Gentlemans Gazette for the photo and further elaboration on the style.

Tan Camel hair or Cashmere is best for wearing over earth-tone clothing, sport coats and daytime dressy/business casual. For the true classic, what noted author G. Bruce Boyer called “the best looking topcoat a man can wear,” a “Polo coat” – half belted, w/ cuffs, patch pockets, stitched edges, and a little longer than standard – epitomizes the masculine costume. It was standard issue for none other than Vince Lombardi. The photo above is from Lombardi, a new American play, as performed on Broadway.

A man’s wardrobe is not complete without the right outerwear. When did you last update your overcoat?

Going All Out,

Over and Done - Why Do I Need an Overcoat?

2012-10-30T16:06:00.002-05:00

Have you seen that guy? You know the one. The guy wearing his new suit…the new suit that’s getting wet because he couldn’t be bothered with an umbrella or overcoat. Or what about Mr. “I’ll-just-wear-my-ski-parka-over-my-suit” during this year’s perfect storm? Then there is this friend of mine who must have twenty five top-shelf custom suits, but when it’s cold and wet, out comes that black, double-breasted trench coat circa 1992. Lazy, sad, and pathetic!

Over means your coat, and done means finished.

When the weather turns cold or wet or both, your look isn’t complete and finished unless your outerwear is money. It should look so good that you’re compelled to keep it on for a few extra moments, even after you’ve stepped inside, out of the elements.

Do you have that coat? Or wardrobe of coats should I say?

As another friend of mine often reminds me, “It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark.” I think you know what I’m saying and you know what to do.

Over and “finished,”

Nine Easy Pieces – Black Tie Style

2012-10-22T08:55:00.002-05:00

One of the most sublime aspects of formal dressing is its simplicity. “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication,” said Da Vinci. Well, whether or not he actually said that, it makes sense that he would have. And, if you study those who have been considered the icons of style and the best dressed throughout history, each one, though unique, has demonstrated exceptionally good taste, subtle and refined.

Black and White. Tailored from fine cotton, wool, and silk. Simplicity defined.

In an article titled ‘Pablo Picasso: Austerity Measures,’ (WSJ, October 17, 2012) about a current exhibit at the Guggenheim, “Picasso Black and White,” Michael Fitzgerald (Professor of Art History at Trinity College) made reference to the “structural clarity of black and white.” You’re busy. You’re successful. The formal choice is simple and clear.

The nine easy pieces? Pictured above, they include:

Dinner Jacket
Formal Trousers
Formal Shirt
Studs and Links
Black Bow Tie (preferably a bow tie that you tie yourself...which may cause you to need a…
Flask….of the hard stuff….to calm your nerves which are now frayed from tying that bow tie.
Cummerbund to match the bow tie
Formal Shoes
Fine, black socks

Add yourself (or your favorite pocket square – luxurious silk or crisp white linen) to the mix and you have a perfect ten.

Here’s an idea: Update your formal wear and plan a weekend in NYC, including a visit to the Guggenheim.

Now go have some fun!

Street Smarts: Style Has No Age

2012-10-19T15:02:00.003-05:00

Photo Credit

Own the Night

2012-10-16T13:00:00.000-05:00

“This is a midnight show, fellas,” said Sinatra to the members of the Tonight Show Band. “You only go out in daytime with these gray suits.” Whether by the commanding influence of his mother, pure instinct, or keen observation, Sinatra lived by a code that included well-understood rules of decorum. Gray suits and brown shoes were fine for daytime wear, but never after six. He also knew that how he dressed was fundamental to setting the tone for each performance and every moment of his life. Sinatra always owned the night!

Sinatra Charm	Classic and Confident
Viva Espana!	Electric Blue

Once you know the rules, then and only then are you free to bend or extend the rules. A gray suit at night? With black accoutrements the gray suit successfully escapes the boardroom. It’s a new day, Old Blue Eyes! A dinner jacket several shades brighter than the customary midnight navy? When of classic design, paired with simple elements, it beams; it shines, making a confident statement. Oh, and it’s fun too!

When you know how to do it right, you gain a freedom to push the limits in ways that always meet with good favor. Since the 16th century, thanks to Castiglione, the Italians have known this acquired sensibility as sprezzatura: ability possessed, devoid of pretension, exercised to perfection with no apparent effort. Develop it for yourself and you too will own the night….and the day for that matter.

Bring on the night!

Finding Your Form

2012-10-09T10:00:00.000-05:00

Respecting the Requirements of Formal... Your Way

Like it or not….it’s that time of year when opportunities to dress formally are likely to find their way onto your calendar. I’ve always suspected that most guys try to avoid formal events because:

They don’t want to shell out two Benjamins to rent an outfit that was just worn by a high school senior or a fully-inebriated groomsmen last weekend, or
They don’t know how to tie their own bow tie and know that they should, or
It’s probably a charity event and they know it’s going to cost them a lot more than the simple price of admission.

With regard to point (c), get over it already. Our greatest joys come from giving to others from our well-earned abundance, right? Besides, is it really that hard to stand around with a cocktail in hand, casually observing the fairer sex in cocktail dresses and ball gowns? As far as point (b), your Tom James Clothier can help. Or, check out this video. As a bonus, tying your own bow tie will give you new bragging rights. Point (a) is easily resolved by making an investment in your own formal wear, an outfit that will pay dividends and actually save you $$$ if you attend two or more formal events per year anyway.

Now that we have taken care of all of your excuses...

“The whole point of formality is form,” reminds GQ’s Glenn O’Brien. If you lose all semblance of form (respect for custom, etiquette, manners, etc.) in your appearance, then what you are left with may cause women to swoon and men to salute you, but it is no longer formal.

If you have been a devoted follower of tomtalks, then you know that we have a deep respect for both time-honored classic elements and individual expression in how one chooses to dress. That is to say, we respect ‘form’, but also embrace breaking or bending the rules in ways that still respect good taste and don’t completely ignore good form – especially when the occasion is, well, formal.

Dougal Munro, of Holland & Sherry, has consistently offered the sage advice that “How we dress for any occasion is a reflection of the esteem in which we hold the occasion, and those in attendance.” Furthermore, the degree to which we deviate from classic form is a reflection of our desire to draw attention to ourselves rather than focus on others. A gentleman’s primary purpose at such events is to accent and enhance the lady on his arm.

A summary of the points of form for formal dress:

The basic color is black, with midnight navy being an acceptable and sometimes superior alternative. The jacket should have a peak or shawl lapel, either of which being made of satin or grosgrain. The braid on the out seam of the trouser should also be of satin or grosgrain, whichever matches the jacket lapel.
Some will ask, but what about a notch lapel? Isn’t that ok? To which I would answer, not if you really care about form, but yes, it is acceptable in that the style has been widely available and worn by many for a generation now. Anyway, this little diatribe is about form. How to bend the rules comes later.
Your formal shirts should have either a wing, point or spread collar (not banded), and be made of a fine broadcloth or pique. A wing collar best complements a peak lapel, both in form and architecture, and either a point (preferred) or spread collar is best if your jacket has a shawl lapel. A traditional formal shirt has vertical pleats on the front and is worn with studs instead of buttons (usually four studs, and typically made of black onyx trimmed in gold or silver.) Classic sterling or gold knots work nicely, too. This is one place where you can express your individuality. A nice touch is to wear studs that were a gift from, or were inherited from, someone special.
A formal shirt is always worn with cuff links, matching the studs if studs are being worn. The cuff may be French (double-fold) or Link (single layer but requiring a link.) A link shirt should only, and must be, worn with a full dress outfit (morning coat or tail coat.) So for the most part, wear double cuffs only – otherwise, stay home! For best results, pair the spread or point collar with a shawl lapel, and a wing collar with peak lapel.
Formal dress might include a waistcoat (vest) cummerbund, or neither. A waistcoat is properly worn with the most formal of attire, the morning coat or tail coat. A cummerbund (pleats UP) is standard issue with a classic tuxedo. Wearing neither is the most casual of formal options. Did I just use the word casual and formal in the same sentence? Indeed I did. And it makes perfect sense.
Shoes should be black in color and plain in style, made of patent leather, highly polished calfskin, or, in some cases, very fine velvet.

OK, so I didn’t give you much in the way of bending the rules. We will get to that during the balance of the month. In the meantime, what would you suggest to push the envelope when dressing formally? Do you have a picture of a great formal look you’d like to share? Please send it to tom@tomjames.com.

Always in good form,

Confident	Competent	Compelling	Authoritative
Conservative	Professional	Intelligent	Affable/Likeable
Enterprising	Approachable	Progressive	Gentlemanly
Powerful	Sharp	Detailed	Assured
Creative	Sophisticated	Intrepid (there’s a word)	Modern
Charming	Traditional	Personable	Commanding
Impressive	Expert	Prosperous	Distinctive
Natural	Prudent	Refined	Stylish
Successful	Sincere	Trustworthy	Diplomatic
Fashionable	Precise	Imaginative