Tom Cochran's Blog

My Experience of Drilling Down to the Reality of a Matter

Tom Cochran — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 01:04:55 GMT

I want to go deeper into developing your ability to drill down to the reality of a matter because it is actually a spiritual skill I would like to see more people experience.

Let me start by restating something in the article. "The ancient Greek word for "truth" (Alethiea) is the same word for "reality". In today's business culture, truth and reality are not generally perceived to be the same. We equate truth with facts - proven, tested, reliable, knowledge. We associate reality with what is genuine, authentic, the intrinsic essence of a matter."

One of my co-workers told a story about a visit he had with a client who had some very important, instructive things to say about some work we did for them. He prayerfully, and actively listened, restating their feeling to them with passion and conviction. The result was very positive. We learned what trips their trigger and they will, in return, get exceptional service. This is what makes fuels our fire and produces raving fans.

I enjoy genuine things. I enjoy genuine people. I like getting into genuine fellowship where people really open up. I enjoy real opportunities. I like statesmen. I enjoy helping people who know they need help. I enjoy receiving help from people who genuinely want to help me. I like a doctor who will yell at me and tell me how important it is that I should change my behavior. I like having several people in my life who will lovingly tell me I messed up and then coach me on what I should have done instead. I like being reaffirmed by people I trust. I like unseen qualities, character, virtues, and attributes. I like light. I enjoy worship. I enjoy prayer and musing over verses in the Bible. I love matters of eternal significance. This is reality.

I don't like small talk. I don't like hob-knobbing. I don't like politicians. I don't like having a teacher who has no experience in their field. I don't like sales people who have their own gains as their focus. I don't like religion. I don't like putting on a false front so people will admire me or think I am something I am not. I don't like hypocrisy. I don't like being automatically prescribed drugs that were invented because it is assumed I won't make decisions to do what needs to be done. I don't like political correctness. I don't like being manipulated. I don't like it when people trap me into what they want me to do by asking strategic questions with only one obvious answer. I don't like the world system replacing God with its own devises and inventions. I don't like darkness. These things are false. They are not reality.

True "reality" is often spiritual in nature. The real essence of a matter is often much more difficult to apprehend than a fact is. By themselves, your mind or emotion, most of the time, are not enough to see the reality of a matter. Most "real" things often aren't physical either. Love, joy, peace, oneness, one accord, integrity, genuineness, etc. are "real" and are experienced spiritually.

Here is some food for those who want to go deeper. In John 14:6, Jesus said "I am the way, the truth (Gr. Alethiea - also translated "reality"), and the life…" We may mentally adjust what John actually said to read something like, "I have a way, I have the truth, and I am an energetic person." This is not what Jesus was saying. He said I, My Person, Me - Jesus, am the way. I am not here to have you imitate my ways. I can come into you to be the way. I am your reality and I am divine life itself. If Jesus Christ IS "reality" this means we must constantly be looking for Him in every situation. If you catch yourself enjoying Him, chances are you have grasped the reality of the situation you are in.

What we can see isn't real. What isn't seen is real. We must come to embrace reality and in leadership discerning reality is crucial.

Estate and Business Succession Planning

Tom Cochran — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 21:37:06 GMT

I wanted to see how people respond to my comments regarding our Entrepreneurs, Leaders, and CEO,s meeting. Several people have wondered what I am typing throughout the meeting. Well here it is.

Our ELC meeting on June 24th was very interesting. The topic was on estate and business succession planning. Sara Murphy, an estate attorney opened up the meeting under the direction of Melinda Olbert, a financial planner and attorney.

Sara was delightful. She is in the trenches and currently helping people get their estates in order and so her speaking is fresh and lively. The first thing I picked up was that she loves what she does and she loves helping people.

Sara Murphy grew up in Enid. She had plans to go to Malibu California for college at 18 years of age but because of a death in the family was asked to stay in OK to manage an apartment complex for the family while going to school here in Oklahoma. Sara is sharp and no doubt would have achieved more for herself by leaving the family needs behind and pursued her own independent goals but she considered others as more important than herself and stayed in Oklahoma. So her character has been tempered by making the right decisions in tough times.

Her advise was given out of real life experience with a view to help you get where you really needed to go. She started by listing the top five mistakes business owners make in their preparation for estate planning.

Five Top Mistakes

1. There is often a disconnect between their business plan and their personal estate plan - these need to remain separate but you should have both and each should be considered while preparing the other.

2. Failure to have an updated power of attorney - the wife or husband of a business owner cannot sign checks or make financial decision to keep the business open without the power of attorney given to the proper party.

3. Deeds and titles need to be titled correctly and aligned with the business plan.

4. Often we have outdated business and organizational documents without the required annual minutes. If you don't treat yourself as a professional business neither does an attorney or tax agency. The corporate shield may easily be broken.

5. You may have the wrong type of business formation - LLC, S-Corp, C-Corp, etc. All available business formations have strengths and weaknesses. Therefore choosing the right one for your business is paramount. Begin with the end in mind.

Sara encouraged anyone with more than one owner to have a very detailed buy sell agreement is a must if you have a partner. Without a buy sell agreement, if your business partner dies you are now partners with their spouse or kids etc.

Deal with death and incapacity

How to evaluate the business so you know what to pay the other party

Sara gave us 10 Steps to Business Succession but I couldn't type fast enough but I did get the list of professionals you need for putting a proper plan in place. They are:

1. Attorney

2. Insurance Advisor

3. Financial Planning Advisor

4. CPA

She impressed on us that the fatal flaw is procrastination. And she ended with a reality statement. "Pay me now, or pay me later" If you have no estate plan or business succession plan you will pay an attorney for probate, clearing up issues, defending you, etc.

Random Facts

1. You are required to file a Federal Estate Tax Return.
2. Over 80% of business in USA are family owned
3. A business in transition lasts a total of 24 years.

Questions asked from ELC Members

Melinda asked about a friend with four siblings who has a franchise. If you give it to one, what about the others? - Also, her dad owned 50% of her business and she didn't know it. So his portion may be inherited by a child or other person. Answer: Communicate. Talk sooner rather then later.

Gerold Coury - none of my children have a vision for my business, how do I cast vision to them? Answer: This is a common problem. Sit down and talk. Communicate.

Tom - My son deserves my business because of his loyalty and commitment, my daughter has no interest in the business but of course I want to take proper loving and balanced care of both. Any ideas on how to do that? Answer: Balance the values with life insurance or other financial tool.

Eric - What does it cost for an estate planner? Answer: The range in cost is from $1,000 or $2,000 and definitely under $10,000.

David Corona - If the partnership breaks how do you afford paying for the partner's portion? Answer: It should be covered in the buy sell agreement.

Sherry - What is a Charitable Remainder Trust? Answer: You put your funds into a trust and donate them to a charity and you get the interest from the trust until you die. It is a complex planning tool but a good one to someone who is charitably inclined.

What is the difference between a Irrevocable Trust and a Revocable Trust? Answer: because of easily being misunderstood when being spoken a Revocable Trust is now called a Living Trust. They are private and comprehensive and they bypass probate (about 9 months delay). The will is like a donkey slow but carries a good load. A trust is a Clydesdale horse - quick elegant,

Tim Kilkenny - How do you find a trustee who cares? We paid a maid for three years after she quit. - Answer: Find someone local.

Gerold Coury - How do you get people to take this seriously? Answer: Start early.

Comments:

Tom Pace - commented on some things happening in his business to demonstrate that the price for doing things right far outweighs the cost of legal defense.

Boe Parrish - having gone through this planning process I want to say I am glad I did it and have peace as a result of it.

ELC Roundtable is a group of Entrepreneurs, Leaders, and CEOs. Members meet for one hour weekly to share their experiences, knowledge, and ideas on a topic. We are a diverse group of men and women with a wide range of business experiences. This provides a great environment for the development of new ideas and an excellent opportunity for the more experienced business owner to share their knowledge with the newer business owner. Members are encouraged to speak once and only once during the meeting so that everyone has the opportunity to contribute.

How to handle Intimidation

Tom Cochran — Mon, 18 May 2009 23:26:21 GMT

Intimidation: Fear to assert yourself, your feeling or your function which arises from the perception of being in an inferior position to your adversary.

Answer to being Intimidated:

Build Negotiation skills

I faced a horrible situation some time ago:

We had a manufacturer defect cause serious problems with one of our installations. In short we wound up having to refund our one and only system in 25 years.
The manufacturer stood behind us financially as best they could but no matter how you looked at it it was going to be a financial loss for us. I prayerfully journalled and fellowshipped my journaling with people I trust every time I am in a really tough pickle. Through journaling I boiled everything down to a few honest undeniable facts to present to their leadership and because both they and we had integrity we agreed to a settlement without any legal involvement. I had an attorney draft up a no liability form they would sign as a condition of receiving the settlement check.

I was in the weak position. I felt incredibly intimidated by the size, wealth, resources etc of the company we faced. I wrote out what I thought they would say and then I wrote what I would say in response. As I journalled I listened to my first dialog as if I were the client and my found most of my answers were unacceptable by my own standard.

When you have integrity and know you owe something back to be fair and equitable you still cannot put yourself in a groveling position. If you find all your predicted responses to be something like "It wasn't all our fault. We tried to make it right. I was wrong. I am sorry. Even when you are not adversarial and want to treat the customer right, you cannot put yourself in the unfair position of giving the farm away.

Write out every possible argument you believe they will make. Chances are they are going to shoot from the hip and won't take this careful approach.

In your journalling, answer their arguments over and over until you have lost most of your intimidation by finding answers you would accept if in their position.

Give short answers with solid facts and dignity.

Technique: Answer an accusation with a question that balances the blame and refocuses the attention on them. Example- Have you never upset a client? Did you read the agreement you signed?

Do not take the lower position.

I told them I expected them to see the integrity in our company, willingness to resolve this conflict, and respect our forthrightness. I looked forward to doing business with them in the future.

Bathe your journalling in prayer. Whether you get what you feel if fair or not, go into the negotiating meeting having the confidence that you have included God in every aspect of this matter.

Negotiation Meeting:

Send your best negotiator to the table.
Don't feel you have to resolve in this meeting. Ask for more time to consider their point of view if you need it.
Memorize your opening.
Use notes. Don't take notes.
Begin with a genuine peer to peer complement to break the ice. "Congratulations on your success in going public! I saw the announcement in the press release"
Word your accusations in the form of a mild question.
Did ___________ profit from this unfortunate situation? Do you see how we might feel there could be a conflict of interest here? Do you feel any responsibility for the communication disconnect regarding the problems?
Have a plan A, B, C and D.
Have written out in your notes the final resolution statement for each plan and ask for exactly what you want. I think we should write up our agreement, have both of us sign it and get you a check as soon as possible.
Make it your goal to learn something from this great experience. If you stand to lose a lot, make it worth your investment.

Trust

Tom Cochran — Mon, 18 May 2009 23:08:05 GMT

Leadership at it's highest levels is still interpersonal leadership - Trust is still the largest factor

Being not Doing - Our constitution more than our analysis and advise.

Whether you are a manager or a leader most people respond to shepherding them - caringly listening, coaching, casting vision, etc.

Jesus perfect Shepherd

Nicodemus and the Woman at the Well - John chapters 3 and 4

We are all a mess.

People try to be open but because of self consciousness we hide even from ourselves.

Reality Bombs

No condemnation, no judgment, no belittling

Attach them to God. Even if you never use His name.

We must be constituted with God to offer God as a person to others

Last week

Eric - the development of my personal constitution. Servanthood.

Larry Henson - I gravitate to people who share themselves. Open, caring, non hiders, not the motivational speakers.

Patrick Kelly - A leader embraces accountability. Experience, the calm in the storm, embrace conflict. Resolve

Guy Madison - I have several guys who come together for accountability. But Jesus didn't come to be served but to serve. Integrity, keeping your word even when it hurts.

Gary Saunders - Accountability - I created a group of about 6 people to become my board of directors with whom I was completely transparent.

Patrick Spaan said he followed people he would go to war with. He didn't respect people who spoke out of their depth.

I gather from this that when it comes to leadership, we need to see a person whose constitution is trustworthy of following.

Who do you not trust? Setting the stage with a person who is apparently going where you are going...

A hot head - someone who is easily angered, not patient, not willing to

A critical person - someone who is prone to expose your faults instead of coaching you, directing you, supporting you

An egotistical person - someone who is for themselves disguised as a generous, or caring, or helpful person.

A person with

What are the elements of Trust?

Integrity: This is a deal breaker if you don't have it completely. When it comes to governance, Brennan said, he "never did anything or asked anyone to do anything he couldn't go home and explain to his kids."
A deep understanding of the business: "You can't fake it. People will know." While you don't need to know every detail, you do have to have a good grasp of the business.
Consistency: While keeping things fresh is important, leaders cannot change direction frequently. They will lose people's confidence.
Willingness to admit a mistake: Everyone makes mistakes. If you're not making any, you're not doing your job right. But Brennan emphasized the importance of admitting your missteps -- otherwise people will not respect you.
The ability to listen: Good leaders must be willing to handle opinions contrary to their own and absorb as much as they can.
Decisiveness: displays order in chaos - While you should listen to others' opinions, the final decision is yours to make. Brennan said when CEOs fail, very often it's because they are not decisive. Average tenure for a CEO has fallen from more than a decade to three years because people lose confidence in leaders whose indecision results in failure.
Confident about his own abilities - Instills confidence
Passionate
Strives to be the best - They do not want to be second or third best. They maintain high standards in their work and inspire others to do the same.
Think analytically
Calm and composed in the face of uncertainty

How do you develop a constitution with these items

Being vs Doing

Notes: All the elements of a cake are mixed in a bowl but no oven. If you haven't been put under the heat of suffering you aren't done. You're still doing.

My Interests

Tom Cochran — Mon, 18 May 2009 23:37:50 GMT

I have been in communication technology for 25 years and enjoy keeping a vigilant watch on the horizon and consulting companies on the moves they should make to adjust in time to keep a competitive edge. Vocationally, my passion is to help other businesses grow. Leadership and management light my fire. I love to talk about our company culture and I love to share our story to encourage others in the developement of theirs. I function in several organizations weekly where we discuss topics, exchange fresh ideas and give birth to innovation.

I love working with young people. Martha and I have the young people out to our house every fourth Saturday Night. We feed them, play with them on the challenge course we have built, climb the three story climbing tower, do the two zip lines with them, come inside, sing with them, fellowship something out of the Bible with them, eat dessert, and then hug them all goodbuy as they leave. Michael Beeman and I lead a Bible study at UCO with Christians on Campus on Wednesday at lunch during the Fall and Spring semesters. We have enjoyed our relationship with the students this semester so much we are remaining close through the summer by having dinner together every two weeks in one of the student's or staff member's homes.

The highest goal Martha and I have set for ourselves in life is to raise our two kids and help them establish their personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ and to be vital members of the body of Christ.

I love the Bible. I meet regularly with several people for fellowship.

I am writing a book on raising kids. This is a passion.

My most favorite hobby is flying. I have a Piper 180 four seat airplane. It is a joy to work on and fly. I have my private pilot, high performance, multiengine, instrument commercial certifications. One of my planned dreams is to fly from Oklahoma to Anchorage Alaska, camping and fishing along the way.

Our family loves to scuba dive. I have been certified since 1973 and love to dive.

I love music. I enjoy writing, scoring, arranging, directing, and playing. I have a passion for music theory. I play keyboards, guitar, and with much practise could play a decent trumpet or baritone horn (uphonium).

I like woodworking and have most of the tools I need but no shop to put them in.

I work out every week day.

Loyalty

Tom Cochran — Mon, 18 May 2009 22:58:34 GMT

Loyalty implies the predecessors of:

having and then knowing what both of your real core values are and then
establishing where a particular task or relationship fits into your priorities"
it fits both of our senses of calling - my purpose - what I am supposed to do.

Loyalty requires the element of mutual respect and love

If you haven't identified what your "center" is or should be

you don't have anything to base the question of whether or not you can be "Loyal" to someone or something.

I don't think you can be loyal if you have no defined "center".

From the perspective of Loyalty, my "center", my core values, begin with God, His economy - what my perception is regarding what He is doing on the earth. My marriage and family come next and then my personal sense of calling - what I feel my personal mission is.

I shouldn't commit to a relationship or a task until through prayer, fellowship, and consideration, I am clear about how it fits within my core values, and is within my calling. If there are possible conflicts with my values, or calling, I should be open and genuine about these conflicts and fellowship them to a conclusion.

Loyalty has conditions

If at some future point the task or relationship in question is not longer congruent with your center you will not be loyal. If someone is no longer loyal to you chances are either your center or their center has changed.
If we can no longer in good conscience remain loyal to a person or task, our sense of integrity should prompt us to fellowship this with the appropriate people and make a decision together on how to go on from here.

Personal Considerations on Loyalty

Loyalty is a goal.
I believe we (Diverse CTI) present a business model and culture that matches the core values of the people I want to attract. The result, if we hire the right people, should be loyalty. If loyalty is lacking I believe there is a fundamental mismatch somewhere in an area that is more important than the matter of loyalty. This is what needs to be discovered and addressed.
It isn't easy to detect disloyalty. If someone has a true center of personal gain he isn't likely to come tell you he is now greedy and is about to steal from you. He will hide his heart and his actions from you as best as he can. If you have a funny feeling, consider looking deeper.
We all have a fallen nature and could deviate from our core values if the right temptation came along. So create checks and balances to make it very difficult for someone to be tempted. Don't provide a carrot to tempt the fallen nature.
Interview the spouse. You will learn what the other side of the elephant looks like when you meet the spouse.
Put your employment agreement in writing and have the employee sign it. It should include a job description and detail what and how they are paid. Don't give anyone any ground to believe you have not lived up to your part of the bargain.
If you, the employer violate an agreement, don't ignore it and hope it will go away. The employee is keeping score with employee math. You get 10 demerits for every one of his. Keep the slate clean. You aren't perfect and neither is your employee.
Decisions are from the mind. Loyalty is from the heart.